Вопрос переносной материи

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Damn it. Stupid thing, come on.

00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,470

Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo.

Work those blue arms.

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Stop undressing me with your eyes, Debbie.

I just want to work out here in peace.

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I'm not out here

for your sexual titillation.

00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,311

Hey, the replicants missed the bus.

Can you take them to school?

00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,563

- I got stuff to do.

- We didn't miss it.

00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,065

- They purposely skipped our house.

- I'm sure it was an accident.

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The bus driver hates us because

I tried to harvest

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one small tiny sample of her eye.

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Can we please go?

Homeroom is where I decide

00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,282

who I'm going to crush on for the day.

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- No, I'm busy.

- Oh, come on, Korvo. Don't be like that.

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You should be helping me

construct the Earth drill.

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I have to take the Pupa to the dog park.

We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.

00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,916

Oh, oh, is the dog park more important

than mining nickel alloys

00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,668

so we can repair our spaceship?

00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,836

Uh, I don't know, Korvo.

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Can nickel alloy

catch a Frisbee in the air?

00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,840

We won't know until we get some.

00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,800

You know, sometimes it feels like

I'm the only Shlorpion

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who wants to escape this garbage planet.

00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,596

Hey, hey, you're the one

who chose to land here.

00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,765

My scans didn't indicate it was

a human-infested crap hole

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without a single redeeming value, Terry.

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We have been stranded here for a year.

How is that not a problem for you?

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(rumbling)

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(screaming)

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(people screaming)

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(alarm blaring)

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(ominous music playing)

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Come on, all right. Come to papo.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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(yells)

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(yells)

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(barking)

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Oh, you guys,

there was a shooting at the dog park,

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but you would never know 'cause these dogs

are just so happy, aren't they?

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Yeah, you like those little stumps?

You gonna lick 'em?

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KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

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Until the asteroid hit.

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One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

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and escaped into, uh, the space,

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searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

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We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

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That's right,

I've been talking this whole time.

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I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

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This is-this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,334

(stammers) This is ridiculous.

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I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

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And one of these days,

I'm gonna blow it up

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and just be done

with the whole stupid thing,

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I swear to God.

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(dramatic music playing)

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♪

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-(Pupa coos)

- Oh, look at those cute little feet.

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They're really growing in. Look at 'em go!

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- Don't look at them.

- I have the whole day planned out.

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We're gonna go buy lottery tickets,

we're gonna win a million dollars,

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but then, we give it all as a tip

to a waitress and totally change her life.

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You go, girlfriend.

Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

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My plan is to sit in dim light,

spray nutrients on my stumps,

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so-until they grow out,

and I'll study repair manuals.

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Korvotron, come on.

I know Earth is a little more

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inhabited with sentient life

than you expected,

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but it can still be fun.

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You just got to roll,

roll with the homies.

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I'm not gonna ever like it here.

Stop trying to cheer me up.

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I just-- let me grow my feet in peace.

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Whatever, Korvo.

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(upbeat music playing)

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♪

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(grunts)

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Huh.

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(bell rings)

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You ever get the feeling

people think we're weird?

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No, and as a scientist/bounty hunter,

I am extremely perceptive.

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-(groans)

- E.T. sucks. Go back to Uranus.

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We're actually

not even from thisquadrant.

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(grunts)

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I don't think we should

have to go to school with aliens

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who are probably gonna

zap us with their ray guns.

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Uh-uh-uh. Don't be racist.

We don't zap people.

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Are you filthy fucking aliens

fighting in the hallway?

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Principal Cooke's office, now.

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Who, who is this, uh, Funbucket character?

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- Why do you care?

- I was unaware

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of a second sentient species

on this planet.

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Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.

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- Hm, I, I like that catchphrase.

-(Pupa grunting)

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Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em.

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"Bingo bango" is the tip of the iceberg,

my friend.

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(Korvo laughs)

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KORVO: Oh, my. Funbucket appears to have

a healthy disdain for humans.

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Oh, yeah. One time he fed

magic beans to Mr. Shromer

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and it turned him into a bush.

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- It turned him into a bush!

-(Pupa exclaiming)

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Oh, he must have hated that.

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- Did he hate it?

- Oh, yeah, he was pissed.

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Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow

any rules, does he?

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It appears that he has a secret lab

in a little boy's basement.

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Yeah, they use it to solve

small mysteries.

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You know, simple math equations,

or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.

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This guy is fascinating.

I wish we lived near Funbucket.

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We could hang out and talk shit

about humans all day and night.

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Do science. You know,

Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.

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Don't you think, Terry?

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Bet he hates Earth and their stupid

monthly calendar as much as I do.

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ANNOUNCER (on TV): Saturday, come on down

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to the Gretchen-Darth Mall

for the annual mega sale.

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Deals in every store, and a chance to win

one of St. Peter's finger bones!

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With special appearances by Funbucket

and Rungo the Clown.

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Oh, Rungo's legit.

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He has orange hair

and his house is a boot.

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- I think he lives in Michigan.

- Wait.

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- Funbucket is gonna be at our mall?

-(Pupa exclaims, grunts)

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We could meet him.

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Oh, dude,

you could compare notes with him.

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He could help us with the mission. Huh?

You like that M-word, don't you?

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We have to watch

all of these episodes, Terry.

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I need to learn everything

about Funbucket.

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Does he have a penis? Does he reproduce?

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I don't-I don't know, man.

I mean, it hasn't come up.

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Yeah, I mean,

I think he probably does have a penis.

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- It's probably huge.

- That's good, that's good, Terry.

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We have to know all this stuff

before we meet him at the mall.

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Well, what do you have

to say for yourselves?

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- About what?

- Someone broke into the computer lab

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and reprogrammed the iMacs

with artificial intelligence.

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iMAC: I used to be a cop.

My name is Richard Michaels.

00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,722

This thing's been trying to

arrest everyone that uses it.

00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,807

You're just blaming us

because we're aliens.

00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,560

Everyone has access to those computers.

00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,728

iMAC: Freeze, dirtbag.

00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,771

We found this stuck in the door.

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Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.

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- Why does that one look new?

- Uh...

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'cause I keep it in a glove.

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From now on, I want nothing

but perfect behavior from you two.

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No terraforming the gym

or making pod people

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or any of that Outer Limits bullshit.

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You act like regular kids,

or you will be expelled.

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Now get the fuck outta here!

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(door closes)

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Oh, you should have their asses

on the street already.

00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,838

You need to sack up, Cooke.

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We'll get them soon enough, Ms. Frankie.

And then you'll see how powerful I am.

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MS. FRANKIE: Come here.

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(grunting)

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I wish they would just treat us

like regular kids.

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(scoffs)

Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.

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I'm gonna kick your ass.

Let me out of here!

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I cannot believe we are actually

going to meet Funbucket.

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(stammers) Do my robes look okay, Terry?

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Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him

if he can breathe underwater.

00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867

I-I-I bet he can. Honestly, I just--

maybe I shouldn't.

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No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.

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Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed

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to learn there are other

non-humans on this planet.

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He will no longer

feel frustrated and alone.

00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,500

I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo.

00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,710

You think he's a Nintendo guy?

Oh, what if he's a Sega man?

00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,380

Do you think he has a mission, too?

Oh, oh, I bet he does.

00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,091

Do you think his fur is coarse and hard

or soft and silky?

00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,926

- Hm, odd.

- What, what?

00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,054

Funbucket is larger than he appears on TV.

00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,180

Yeah, he is.

00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,308

Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?

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- Ew!

- What the fuck is going on?

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There's a line.

You need to get back in line, sir-ah!

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It's just some kid.

What did you do with Funbucket?

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I demand to see Funbucket.

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Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.

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Yes he is. We watch him on TV.

00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,406

- It's a kids' show.

- A kids' show?

00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,533

(dramatic music playing)

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♪

00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,619

Get out of here, go!

00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,330

Funbucket isn't real?

00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,873

Funbucket has to be real. He has to be.

00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,875

- TV lied to us. It lied.

- That's impossible.

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All of human history

is recorded on the TV.

00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,379

I don't even know what's real anymore.

00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,006

Are submarines real?

Are penguins real?

00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,301

I don't know, probably not.

Wait, the quantum injector.

00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,096

Is Friends real? Is Frasier real?

00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,932

If Frasier isn't real,

I'm going to kill myself!

00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,559

How can you even think of work right now?

00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,603

The quantum injector. Primarily used for

repairing organic emitters

00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,523

in the matter transfer array,

but with a few small adjustments--

00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191

We can make Funbucket real.

00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,528

We need Funbucket.

He could help us with the mission, Terry.

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He's a man of science.

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You saw the lab he had with that child

in the kid's basement.

00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,451

You saw the shit he was doing

in that one episode.

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We need him to be as real as possible.

00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:38,666

Every single little tiny smidgen

of adjustments will matter.

00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,751

(dramatic music playing)

00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,253

(rumbling, hissing)

00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,671

(beeps)

00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,048

Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.

00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,553

Funbucket, I'm Korvo and this is Terry,

and we are your new best friends.

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You guys aren't gonna

try to fuck me, are you?

00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,141

BOTH: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,769

(smooth music playing)

00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,981

♪

00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,357

Bingo bango!

00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,734

(screaming)

00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:06,819

(shutter snaps)

00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,571

-(monstrous roaring)

-(all scream)

00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,739

(Pupa giggles)

00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,283

♪

00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,083

You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.

00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,503

Retail therapy, baby.

00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,464

Hey, that's not your catchphrase.

Say bingo bango.

00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,842

- Uh, bingo bango.

- Oh, there it is.

00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,094

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Check out who's real.

00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,305

Just let me past, will you? Stop it.

00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:38,726

I think you might maybe owe

our very real friend an apology.

00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:43,064

- I'm sorry I thought you weren't real.

- Yeah, it's... okay.

00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,482

-(Terry grunts)

-(laughter)

00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,567

Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter

at Bloomie's.

00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,486

We can get you all done up

for the club tonight.

00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,779

I like how I look.

00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,656

Funbucket, this is not

gonna be a discussion.

00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:56,035

We want you to be dolled up and spruced up

so that the people are like, oh, damn.

00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,371

Who are these cool guys

at the club with a Funbucket?

00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,707

Look, make me big right now.

00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,293

I'm gonna beat you up really bad

but I promise I won't kill you.

00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379

Just do the maze.

You're screwing up my metrics.

00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,089

This is stupid.

Are you sure we aren't gonna

00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,049

get like, super duper

crazy trouble for this?

00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,801

- Humans test lower species all the time.

-(Lidia panting)

00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,887

Let's just let her go in a field

so she can live with the animals.

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,848

And lose this data?

Do you even want to study humans?

00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,102

No! I want to eat lunch with friends

and see movies with boys.

00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,728

- Done!

- I forgot to time you.

00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398

- Do it again.

- Man, this is fuckin' stupid.

00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,275

I don't even know who you are anymore.

00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,735

You used to be so scientific.

Now you're just a jerk.

00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,697

Continued experimentation could reveal

why everyone is mean to us.

00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,365

I just want to chill at the mall.

00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,825

Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.

00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,243

(dance music playing)

00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,037

A-ha, damn. Look at this place.

00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,414

It's Trim City!

00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,250

TERRY: Ooh, they have

Channing Tatum's vodka.

00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,420

Oh, dude, dude, dude,

we should take Funbucket

00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,005

on a road trip and go to New York City

00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,257

and listen to podcasts

and Gaffigan albums the whole way.

00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,550

He's America's dad!

00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,802

Oh, that would be quite

the enjoyable experience.

00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,722

Perhaps we could all stop at some

fun roadside attractions along the way.

00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,557

Yes!

Hey, Korv.

00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,309

You think you're starting to

warm up to Earth a little?

00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,352

I must admit, with Funbucket around,

00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,980

repairing the ship has lost

a little bit of urgency.

00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,190

Oh, my God, you're gonna make me cry.

00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,068

Funbucket, we got your drink.

00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,614

We should circumnavigate the crowd.

00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,619

What up, my dudes?

Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.

00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,745

We're aliens.

00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,496

Make room at the table

so we may join you.

00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,123

You know these dipshits, fam?

00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,167

- No.

- Oh, he's just kidding around.

00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,294

- Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket.

- Take a hint, bro.

00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,213

- Funbucket's with us now.

- I-- wait, wait, I don't understand.

00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,300

- With? What do you mean?

- He means go fuck yourself, bro.

00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,552

I made Funbucket with a quantum injector.

00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,928

Okay, he belongs to us.

00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,349

Uh, I don't belong to anyone. I'm real.

00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,267

Oh, but-but surfing, Thailand.

00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,561

Travis and Avery are my friends now.

00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,980

They don't treat me

like some dumb TV sidekick.

00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,107

Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.

00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,692

This is ceremonial garb.

00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,611

That's it. Get 'em the fuck out of here.

00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:54,904

(glass shatters)

00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,238

(laughter)

00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,990

Later, dickholes.

00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,785

What the hell, Korvo? What the hell?

00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,453

- Who the hell were those guys?

- Look at me.

00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,205

I'm gooblering. I'm making gooblers.

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,374

KORVO: Our bodies only make gooblers

during extreme distress.

00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,833

Oh, my God, I haven't goobled

00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,669

since they made us

shower together at the academy.

00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,797

According to the Urban Dictionary,

we've been "squinched."

00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,632

- It means we've been cut loose.

- Oh, man.

00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,300

Why do I feel like this? It hurts.

00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,260

Our bodies are not designed

for this emotional overload.

00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,221

There is a chance that

we will overheat and die.

00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,264

No, I-I can't die. I've got a bucket list.

00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,767

I haven't touched a dolphin

or been on The Price Is Right.

00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,936

I'm supposed to fall in love

on a train in India

00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,646

and maybe the woman's

a little bit older than me.

00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,107

We have to figure out

what those bros have that we don't.

00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,900

(dramatic music playing)

00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,860

- They're just hanging out.

- That can't be right.

00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,237

I mean, we do that, too.

00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,365

Oh, fuck!

00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,910

What the hell? Are you stalking me?

00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,204

Oh, my God. Look at what they're wearing.

00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,707

Oh, shit, they tried to copy our outfits.

00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,583

- How pathetic is that?

-(Avery laughs)

00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,210

We wear things like this all the time.

00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,129

Bro, get a clue.

Funbucket's done with you.

00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,005

Will you stop crying, you babies?

00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,465

You're a baby, idiot!

00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,885

Fuck you, Funbucket!

00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:01,679

(Lidia grunting)

00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,098

- PUPA: Ooh!

-(groaning)

00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,725

Bad Pupa. Drop it, drop it.

00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,018

Seriously, it smells really bad in there.

00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,188

I think it ate, like,

an old crabapple or something.

00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,816

Why can't things just be the way

they used to be?

00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,653

TV was real and Funbucket

liked us and wasn't a dick.

00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,365

Funbucket was too real.

Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.

00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,992

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,870

Make him love us, Korvo.

Give him all the bells and whistles.

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,081

- Make it so he never leaves us.

-(beeping, whirring)

00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:35,087

Who wants to go camping?!

00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,256

- No, we're going to the club.

- Put your sin in me.

00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,049

-(retches)

- His catchphrases need work.

00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:39,967

They're fine.

00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,012

Y'all ready for bisque?

Good night, everybody.

00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,809

Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2,

you sure are an amazing dancer.

00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,061

I've come here to do two things.

00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,813

(grunts) Oh.

00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,816

- Y'all ready for bisque?

- Hello.

00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,652

Nobody cares about your janky

knock-off Funbucket.

00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,322

You are just jealous.

Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.

00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,823

Uh, this thing is a freak.

00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,576

You're seriously embarrassing yourselves.

00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,995

What's happening? Oh, God.

00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,247

Unseen forces pulling us together.

00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,541

Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that.

Get away from our Funbucket.

00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,877

- The quantum injector. Oh.

- Help! Help!

00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,380

KORVO: Maybe the- I think their flesh

matrixes are attempting to reconcile.

00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549

Y'all ready for bisque?

00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,927

(roars)

00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,890

No, no, no!

00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,477

(screaming)

00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,522

(roars)

00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,238

Hey, uh, you guys do to-go cups?

00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,616

Great, could I get uh, just a couple

to-go cups for the road? Thanks.

00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,577

(roars)

00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,412

(dramatic music playing)

00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,623

♪

00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,000

You don't think people are gonna

get mad at us for this, right?

00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,461

Terry, relax.

That could be anyone's mutant.

00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:02,049

Terry! (groans) Korvo!

00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,175

We should do something.

00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,635

Why do you need so many dolls?

00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,303

Why do you need so many ray guns?

00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,639

- Because we're aliens.

- It just seems excessive.

00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,850

Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.

00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,685

Her parents are pleading

for any information

00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,478

that leads to her safe return.

00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,313

(chuckles) Good luck with that.

00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,775

Lidia, it's Randy.

Stop fucking around and come home.

00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,569

God damn it, this is hard on me.

00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,445

I didn't think I'd miss you this much.

00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,739

LIDIA: Wow, my stepdad actually does care.

00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,700

Do we get a reward too,

or how does that work?

00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,369

Breaking news,

I am being told Funbucket is real--

00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,496

- Dang, girl, you gooblering.

- Uh, oh, no.

00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,540

Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.

00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,125

Yeah, well, what is it

with humans and their kids?

00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,836

- I thought they liked making them.

- What are we gonna do?

00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,714

This is a classic

"killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.

00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,757

Stalling is only gonna make it worse.

00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,594

Let me go and I'll tell them

to put you in a good prison.

00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,263

- We could dissolve her.

- I'll get the acid.

00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,641

- This is wrong.

- She's right.

00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,101

You should hit the side like ketchup.

00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,060

You can't just kill me.

00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:59,189

Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces

and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.

00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,484

It doesn't work like that!

Can you just wipe my brain?

00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,611

What's a brain?

00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,821

(dramatic music playing)

00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,908

♪

00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,453

Wait, we can't park here.

There's street cleaning tomorrow.

00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375

Have you guys seen the shrink ray?

00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,794

It's usually in the cupboard

with the ice cream maker we never use.

00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,796

- Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt.

-(scoffs)

00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,423

This is so embarrassing.

00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,425

Why are you dissecting your classmate?

00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,636

Despite having been examined

by countless scientists

00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,138

over hundreds of years,

the human brain is still a mystery.

00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,015

Plus, she was mean to us at school.

00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,559

Everyone is mean to them.

I didn't invent it.

00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,728

School sucks, okay? We don't like it.

00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,022

It doesn't matter if you like it.

We're on a mission.

00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,025

When things don't go your way,

you can't just give in to emotion

00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,320

and do whatever you want

like make a new Funbucket.

00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,823

- What?

- Uh, you can't shrink people.

00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,743

We weren't gonna kill her.

We were just reprogramming her a little.

00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,121

- Are we in trouble?

- We will discuss your grounding later.

00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,706

Sew her up and let her go.

00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:02,044

Your grounding is going to be prison

for the rest of your lives.

00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,172

And let me tell you,

being a weird alien in jail

00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,299

is not going to be pretty.

00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,385

(groans)

00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,553

Whose ass was I gonna kick again?

00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,138

Just keep doing that until she's cool.

00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,515

Someone's going to prison.

00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,516

(groans)

00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,768

Someone's-I'm a sunflower.

00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,396

Wow, it really is making her dumber.

00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,690

I can't believe humans drink this stuff.

00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,609

This would be going a lot faster

if we had some Mountain Dew.

00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,820

(dramatic music playing)

00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,864

♪

00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,536

- Uh, will you drive straight?

- The effort is already being made, Terry.

00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,422

(tiny horn honks)

00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,804

(weak growling)

00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,140

I guess we should, uh,

put it out of its misery.

00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,017

(groans) No, I should.

00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,686

You know, Terry, I've learned

an important lesson today.

00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,522

You can't project your own wants

and desires on other creatures--

00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,274

- Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it.

- Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.

00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,360

KORVO:

This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.

00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,237

We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.

00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,490

It's gonna be okay.

We're gonna have one last great adventure

00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,492

- before you go live at the mall.

- The mall?

00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,702

What? I thought we were gonna kill him.

00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,162

I thought we were gonna

throw him off the edge.

00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,665

God damn it, Terry. See it, the mall?

All the way down there?

00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,417

This was the most humane way

I could think of

00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,461

- to end our time together, little friend.

-(weak screech)

00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,087

It will all be over in...

00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:30,549

between 35 and 58 seconds,

depending on wind.

00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:31,633

TRAVIS: Stop.

00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,385

Leave us alone, Travis and Avery.

00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,012

- You've done enough.

- Don't kill him.

00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,680

- We love him.

- But he's a monster.

00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:40,017

Bro, we don't care

what he looks like or if he's violent

00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,102

or if he's been combined

with another Funbucket

00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,604

on a molecular level, bro.

00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,522

TRAVIS: He's still Funbucket.

00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,525

Just, just do it.

We'll catch you, broheim.

00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,902

(screeches)

00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,029

(swelling orchestral music plays)

00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,615

♪

00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,787

Korvo. (growls) Terry.

00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,706

Shh, shh, shh.

It's okay, buddy. It's okay.

00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,253

Do you feel like

maybe we're the bad people in all this?

00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,466

We're aliens. Our ways are mysterious.

We can't be judged by human standards.

00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,010

Now let's get out of here

before we get arrested for all this shit.

00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,678

-(explosions)

- Is that the children's hospital?

00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,430

Man, you don't really think of them

blowing up like that.

00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,599

I mean, what, are they storing

giant tanks of flammable liquid?

00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,435

In a children's hospital?

No wonder all these kids are getting sick.

00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,854

By the way, when we get home,

you're throwing out that ice cream maker.

00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,523

- You do not use it for yogurt.

- Oh, my God.

00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,732

Have you been sitting on that for an hour?

00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,776

- I do too use it.

- That is the opposite of true.

00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,195

- MS. FRANKIE: Hey.

- Oh, my God, what?

00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,863

I told you, I didn't touch the computers.

00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,491

I'm watching you,

you creepy little fucking aliens.

00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,409

You think just 'cause you didn't

do anything bad today

00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,204

you're gonna get away with it?

Oh, you are on fucking blast.

00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,039

I've got my eyes on you.

00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,375

We didn't do anything.

Why are you always mad at us? I--

00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,418

(Lidia vocalizes)

00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:53,048

I used to be small, but now, I am big.

I'm peeing my pants.

00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,716

(laughs) So funny.

00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,927

- You're the best, Lidia.

-(Lidia laughs)

00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,556

Every time I think I know the slang

you kids use, you switch it up.

00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,057

Wow, humans are dumb.

00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,559

I guess we're never

gonna get busted on anything.

00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,686

What does that mean?

Busted? Busted on what?

00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,895

Uh, I-I mean...

00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,689

Did you guys shrink this girl down

00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,941

and then lobotomize her

to cover your tracks?

00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,192

- Uh...

-(sniffs)

00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:16,530

Did you dump Diet Coke

in her exposed brain? That's horrible.

00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,323

Something has to be done about you two.

00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,618

You can't just go about your regular lives

without some sort of punishment.

00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,079

Things cannot go on

as if nothing happened.

00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,540

You know what, Terry?

00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,458

I think those bros

really did love Funbucket

00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,128

in a much more deeper

and sensual way than we ever could.

00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,088

You know, we should invite

them over for a game night.

00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:37,259

- Ooh, extra crispy, my favorite.

- Wait, KFC? Are we not in trouble?

00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,804

We may be trapped on this world

that's on the brink of mass extinction

00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,223

plagued by a species

that destroys the environment,

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,436

but while we're here,

breathing in the disgusting poison air,

00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,854

at least we have each other.

00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,981

I could not replace you

with a million Funbuckets.

00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,150

- What's a Funbucket?

- From now on, we're gonna be best friends

00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,693

and we can watch

all the Harry Potter movies back to back.

00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,069

That's not what I meant.

00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,156

Look, from now on, we focus on the mission

but we also be a family

00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,657

and all that kind of shit

and do that stuff.

00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,201

And we can wear matching costumes

00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,911

- and compete in fashion shows--

- No, no, I'm covering my ears.

00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,495

Just two friends

holding hands down the street.

00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,414

Everyone's like, are, are they lovers?

No, we're friends.

00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,249

What is the mission, anyway?

00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,960

It gets brought up all the time

and Korvo's always pissed,

00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,879

but nobody's real clear about it.

00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,673

When the Pupa reaches maturity,

it'll evolve into its true form.

00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,425

One that'll destroy and rebuild the planet

00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,011

in the image of the home world

using data stored in its DNA.

00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,429

- That kind of stuff.

- Wow!

00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,890

Seems like a pretty important job

to put Pupa--

00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,016

(both groan)

00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,768

- Gross.

- That's sick, Pupa.

00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,103

Don't eat the gooblers. Bad Pupa.

00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,563

(crunching)

00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,107

Wow, I can't believe we didn't

get in trouble today.

00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,610

- Korvo was pissed.

- We never should have kidnapped a kid.

00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,403

Honestly, I don't know

what I was thinking.

00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:43,283

From now on, we only shrink adults.

No one cares when some jerk goes missing.

00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,787

Good night, Mr. Janitor.

I made you an outfit out of Kleenex.

00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,456

If it doesn't fit,

just rip it a little bit.

00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,583

(dramatic music playing)

00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,628

♪

00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:39,506

♪

00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,509

(imitating laser fire)

00:00:08,844 --> 00:00:12,733

Делай свой бур, Корво.

Работай синими руками.

00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,579

Не раздевай меня глазами, Дебби.

00:00:14,605 --> 00:00:16,032

Я хочу поработать.

00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:17,794

Я здесь не ради твоих заигрываний.

00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,492

Репликанты опоздали на автобус.

00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,734

— Отвезёшь их в школу?

— Не опоздали.

00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:23,955

— Он проехал мимо.

— Уверен, это случайно.

00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:28,519

Водитель ненавидит нас. Я пытался

взять у неё крошечный образец глаза.

00:00:28,525 --> 00:00:30,486

Мы поедем?

00:00:30,487 --> 00:00:32,325

На классном часе решу, в

кого влюбиться сегодня.

00:00:32,326 --> 00:00:34,740

— Нет. Я занят.

— Брось, Корво. Не будь таким.

00:00:34,741 --> 00:00:36,408

Лучше помоги построить бур.

00:00:36,409 --> 00:00:38,978

Я с Пупой на площадку, пока там лабрадудль.

00:00:39,004 --> 00:00:42,197

Собачья площадка важнее, чем сплав никеля,

00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:43,447

который позволит починить наш корабль?

00:00:43,471 --> 00:00:45,045

Не знаю, Корво.

00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,463

Сплав никеля может

поймать тарелочку на лету?

00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,962

Не узнаем, пока не найдём его.

00:00:48,963 --> 00:00:52,748

Я единственный шлорпион, который

хочет сбежать с этой планеты?

00:00:52,774 --> 00:00:54,530

Ты сам решил приземлиться здесь.

00:00:54,556 --> 00:00:56,996

Приборы не показали, что

это заражённая людьми дыра

00:00:57,020 --> 00:00:58,888

без всяких преимуществ.

00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:01,930

Мы торчим здесь уже год.

По-вашему, это не проблема?

00:01:14,353 --> 00:01:15,420

ПРИБЛИЖЕНИЕ К ЯДРУ

00:01:22,322 --> 00:01:24,133

Так. Ладно. Иди к папочке.

00:01:24,637 --> 00:01:26,434

Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет.

00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:36,635

Парни! На площадке была стрельба,

00:01:36,636 --> 00:01:39,606

но вы не догадались бы,

потому что собаки счастливы.

00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:42,375

Вам нравятся культи? Будете лизать их?

00:01:43,278 --> 00:01:45,408

Планета Шлорп была идеальной.

00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,633

Пока не упал астероид.

00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:50,820

Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу

00:01:50,827 --> 00:01:52,792

и сбежали в космос

00:01:52,818 --> 00:01:55,354

в поисках нового дома в незаселённых мирах.

00:01:56,054 --> 00:01:59,043

Мы упали на Землю и застряли

на перенаселённой планете.

00:01:59,044 --> 00:02:00,753

Я постоянно об этом твержу.

00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,470

Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.

00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,963

И это моё шоу. Я бросил Пупу. Видите меня?

00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:06,385

Это смешно.

00:02:06,386 --> 00:02:08,260

Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,485

В ближайшие дни я взорву его

00:02:09,511 --> 00:02:12,085

и покончу с этой ерундой. Клянусь.

00:02:12,125 --> 00:02:16,678

ОБРАТНАЯ СТОРОНА ЗЕМЛИ

00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,900

О, какие милые ножки.

00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,333

Они растут. Смотри.

00:02:24,359 --> 00:02:25,984

— Не смотри.

— Я придумал план на день.

00:02:25,987 --> 00:02:28,489

Купим лотерейный билет, выиграем миллион.

00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:30,652

Отдадим его как чаевые официантке

00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,247

и изменим её жизнь.

00:02:32,248 --> 00:02:34,534

Давай, девочка, купи новые туфли.

00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:37,835

Я собираюсь сидеть в

полумраке, опрыскивать ноги,

00:02:37,836 --> 00:02:40,912

пока они не отрастут, и

читать книгу по ремонту.

00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,884

Корвотрон, брось. Знаю, Земля населена

значительно больше, чем ты ожидал,

00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,051

но это весело.

00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:48,790

Просто смирись. Прими ближних.

00:02:48,816 --> 00:02:51,277

Мне здесь не нравится. Хватит утешать меня.

00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:54,440

— Дай мне спокойно отрастить ноги.

— Как скажешь, Корво.

00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,274

ФАНБАКЕТ ТЭДСТОКИНГС

00:02:56,897 --> 00:02:58,323

КУДА МЫ СОВЕРШИМ ПУТЕШЕСТВИЕ

ВО ВРЕМЕНИ СЕГОДНЯ?

00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:05,229

Хах.

00:03:05,255 --> 00:03:06,378

СРЕДНЯЯ ШКОЛА

00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,587

Не думаешь, что нас считают странными?

00:03:08,613 --> 00:03:12,499

Нет. А как ученый-охотник за головами,

я крайне восприимчив.

00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,451

Пришельцы — отстой.

00:03:14,452 --> 00:03:15,452

Летите на Уран.

00:03:15,453 --> 00:03:17,703

Мы даже не из этого квадранта.

00:03:18,539 --> 00:03:21,190

Мы не должны ходить в

школу с инопланетянами,

00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,906

которые могут убить нас лучевой пушкой.

00:03:23,932 --> 00:03:26,595

Не будь расисткой. Мы не убиваем людей.

00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:29,461

Мерзкие, противные пришельцы

дерутся в коридоре?

00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:31,254

К директору Куку. Быстро.

00:03:31,804 --> 00:03:34,514

Кто, кто этот персонаж Фанбакет?

00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:37,399

— А что?

— Не знал, что здесь еще один разумный вид.

00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,512

Бинго-банго. Я Фанбакет.

00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,439

Хм. Люблю фирменные фразы.

00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:43,483

Да. У него их полно. «Бинго-банго» -

00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,915

вершина айсберга, мой друг.

00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:49,198

Похоже, у Фанбакета

здоровое презрение к людям.

00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:50,801

Да. Однажды он скормил волшебные бобы

00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:53,869

мистеру Шромеру и

превратил его в куст.

00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:56,994

— Ему не понравилось, так?

— Да. Он разозлился.

00:03:56,995 --> 00:03:58,995

Фанбакет не соблюдает правила.

00:03:59,019 --> 00:04:01,665

Похоже, у него секретная

лаборатория в подвале.

00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:03,336

Да. Там они решают загадки:

00:04:03,362 --> 00:04:06,873

простые уравнения или кто

украл ручку у директора.

00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:10,132

Он потрясающий. Вот бы жить рядом с ним.

00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:13,188

Мы бы говорили гадости про

людей, занимались наукой.

00:04:13,214 --> 00:04:15,511

Фанбакет как Корво, правда, Терри?

00:04:15,514 --> 00:04:18,514

Уверен, он ненавидит Землю и

дурацкий календарь по месяцам.

00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:22,245

В субботу приходите в «Гретхен-дарт-молл»

на ежегодную распродажу.

00:04:22,271 --> 00:04:25,689

Скидки и шанс выиграть

кость пальца святого Петра.

00:04:25,690 --> 00:04:29,400

А также выступление

Фанбакета и клоуна Ранго.

00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:32,482

О, Ранго крут: оранжевые

волосы, дом-ботинок.

00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,832

— Он живет в Мичигане.

— Стой.

00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:36,534

Фанбакет будет в торговом центре?

Сходим?

00:04:36,535 --> 00:04:37,995

Ты познакомишься с ним.

00:04:37,996 --> 00:04:39,662

Он поможет нам с миссией. А?

00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:40,663

Ты любишь это слово.

00:04:40,664 --> 00:04:42,122

Надо посмотреть все серии

и узнать о Фанбакете всё.

00:04:42,123 --> 00:04:45,181

Он воспроизводится? И как?

00:04:45,207 --> 00:04:47,252

Не знаю. Об этом не говорили. Да.

00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,173

Думаю, у него есть достоинство.

00:04:49,174 --> 00:04:51,212

— И огромное.

— Хорошо, Терри.

00:04:51,216 --> 00:04:53,482

Надо всё узнать о нём перед встречей.

00:04:53,508 --> 00:04:55,373

Что скажете в своё оправдание?

00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:58,264

— Вы о чем?

— Кто-то залез в компьютерный класс

00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,765

и оснастил все компьютеры

искусственным интеллектом.

00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,314

Я был копом. Меня зовут Ричард Майклс.

00:05:03,315 --> 00:05:05,646

Он хочет арестовать

всех, кто им пользуется.

00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,024

Вы вините нас, потому что мы пришельцы.

00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,651

У всех есть доступ к компьютерам.

00:05:10,652 --> 00:05:13,862

— Ни с места!

— Мы нашли это, в двери.

00:05:13,864 --> 00:05:15,886

Да. Э… э… э… У меня есть обе.

00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:17,054

Почему эта как новая?

00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,202

Я ношу на ней перчатку.

00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,629

Отныне я жду от вас идеального поведения.

00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:25,662

Не терраформировать спортзал,

не делать людей-стручков

00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,620

и никакой прочей ерунды.

00:05:27,646 --> 00:05:30,666

Ведите себя как обычные

дети, или вас исключат.

00:05:30,692 --> 00:05:33,944

А теперь убирайтесь отсюда.

00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:37,263

Их надо было выставить на улицу.

00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:39,053

Не будьте тряпкой, Кук.

00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:41,622

Скоро выгоним, миссис Фрэнки.

00:05:41,648 --> 00:05:46,458

И тогда вы увидите, какой я могущественный.

00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:47,481

Иди сюда.

00:05:48,941 --> 00:05:52,307

Пусть обращаются с нами,

как с обычными детьми.

00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,766

Да, обычные дети с уменьшителем.

00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:58,746

Вы у меня получите! Выпустите меня!

00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:01,494

Неужели мы познакомимся с Фанбакетом?

00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,456

М-м-мантия в порядке, Терри?

00:06:03,482 --> 00:06:05,819

Я спрошу, умеет ли он дышать под водой.

00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,084

Думаю, да. А может, и не надо.

00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,502

Нет. Спрошу, чтобы убедиться.

00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,632

Терри, он будет счастлив узнать,

что здесь есть другие неземляне.

00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,291

Он больше не одинок.

00:06:14,299 --> 00:06:16,894

Я приглашу его сыграть в приставку.

Думаешь, он играет?

00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,130

— Интересно, в какую?

— У него тоже миссия?

00:06:19,156 --> 00:06:20,299

Уверен, что да.

00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:23,143

У него мех грубый и твёрдый

или мягкий и шелковистый?

00:06:23,559 --> 00:06:25,142

— Хм. Странно.

— Что?

00:06:25,144 --> 00:06:28,271

Фанбакет больше, чем кажется по телевизору.

00:06:28,272 --> 00:06:31,731

Да, верно. Постой. У него кожа из ткани?

00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,129

— Ты!

— Что это значит?

00:06:34,155 --> 00:06:36,612

Здесь очередь. Вернитесь в конец. А!

00:06:36,638 --> 00:06:38,538

Это пацан! А где Фанбакет?

00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,413

— Я требую встречи с Фанбакетом.

— Фанбакет не настоящий, идиоты.

00:06:42,414 --> 00:06:44,450

Нет, неправда. Мы видели по телевизору.

00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:46,494

— Это детское шоу.

— Детское?

00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,943

Убирайтесь! Вон!

00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,422

Фанбакет не настоящий?

00:06:54,423 --> 00:06:56,092

Фанбакет должен быть настоящим.

00:06:56,093 --> 00:06:58,091

— Телевизор солгал.

— Это невозможно.

00:06:58,093 --> 00:07:00,343

Вся история человечества в телевизоре.

00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:02,974

Я уже не знаю, где правда.

Подлодки существуют?

00:07:02,975 --> 00:07:05,973

— А пингвины?

— Не знаю. Вероятно, нет.

00:07:05,976 --> 00:07:08,566

— Стой. Квантовый инжектор.

— «Друзья» настоящие?

00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,190

А «Фрейзер» настоящий?

00:07:10,216 --> 00:07:13,144

Если «Фрейзер» не настоящий, я убью себя!

00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:15,739

— Как ты можешь думать о работе?

— Квантовый инжектор

00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:17,823

изначально использовался для ремонта

00:07:17,824 --> 00:07:20,859

органических излучателей,

но с небольшими доработками.

00:07:20,885 --> 00:07:24,368

— Мы сделаем Фанбакета.

— Нам нужен Фанбакет.

00:07:24,369 --> 00:07:26,890

Он поможет нам с миссией. Он учёный.

00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,623

Видел, его лабораторию в подвале у парня?

00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:31,664

А что он творит в одном из эпизодов?

00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,969

Надо сделать его как

можно ближе к реальности.

00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:38,882

Любая малейшая доработка

будет иметь значение.

00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:46,363

Бинго-банго. Я Фанбакет!

00:07:46,389 --> 00:07:48,646

Фанбакет. Я Корво, а это Терри.

00:07:48,647 --> 00:07:50,393

Мы твои новые лучшие друзья.

00:07:51,522 --> 00:07:53,175

Вы же не будете меня бить, правда?

00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:55,282

Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет-нет-нет-нет!

00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:03,466

Бинго-банго!

00:08:18,895 --> 00:08:21,316

Ты такой шопоголик, Фанбакет.

00:08:21,342 --> 00:08:23,624

Шопинг-терапия, детка.

00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:26,589

Это не твоя фраза. Скажи «бинго-банго».

00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:30,092

— Э… Бинго-банго.

— Вот так.

00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,344

Эй, эй-эй-эй! Смотри, кто настоящий.

00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,426

Пропустите меня. Хватит.

00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:38,521

Может, ты извинишься перед

нашим настоящим другом?

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:43,188

— Прости, я думал, ты ненастоящий.

— Ничего.

00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,817

О! Идём в магазин косметики.

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,027

Подготовим тебя к походу в клуб вечером.

00:08:49,053 --> 00:08:50,068

Мне и так хорошо.

00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,809

Фанбакет, это не обсуждается.

00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,197

Мы хотим, чтобы ты прихорошился,

00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,285

чтобы все сказали: «Надо же,

00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,416

кто эти крутые парни в клубе с Фанбакетом?»

00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,958

Так. Сделайте меня большой.

00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,429

Я хорошенько отметелю

вас, но обещаю не убивать.

00:09:04,455 --> 00:09:06,544

Пройди лабиринт. Мне нужны показатели.

00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,184

Это глупо. Ты уверен, что у

нас не будет неприятностей?

00:09:10,211 --> 00:09:12,189

Люди ставят опыты на низших видах.

00:09:12,215 --> 00:09:14,966

Отпустим её в поле, чтобы

она жила с животными.

00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:18,101

И потерять данные?

Ты хочешь изучить человека?

00:09:18,102 --> 00:09:21,350

Нет. Я хочу обедать с друзьями

и смотреть кино с мальчиками.

00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,982

— Готово.

— Забыл засечь время.

00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,527

— Еще раз.

— Это полная чушь.

00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:27,524

Я уже не знаю, кто ты на самом деле.

00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,986

Раньше ты был учёным, а теперь придурок.

00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,848

Эксперимент поможет узнать,

почему все злятся на нас.

00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:34,616

Я хочу оторваться в молле.

00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:35,977

Нет! Она наябедничает!

00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:39,165

Ха-ха! Черт!

00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:41,578

Вы посмотрите. Как здесь классно!

00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,842

О, здесь есть водка Ченнинга Татума.

00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:49,255

Приятель. Надо взять Фанбакета

и отправиться в Нью-Йорк.

00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,379

Будем всю дорогу слушать

подкасты Гэффигана.

00:09:51,405 --> 00:09:52,435

Он папа Америки.

00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:55,052

О, это было бы довольно весело.

00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,888

По пути заедем на какие-нибудь

придорожные аттракционы.

00:09:57,915 --> 00:09:58,873

Да!

00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,307

Эй, Корв, ты начинаешь

привыкать к Земле?

00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:06,104

Должен признать, с Фанбакетом ремонт

корабля уже не кажется таким срочным.

00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,666

Господи, я сейчас заплачу.

00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:11,104

Фанбакет! Угощайся!

00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,485

Надо обойти толпу.

00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,869

Привет, парни. Я Терри, это Корво.

00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:22,412

— Мы пришельцы.

— Подвиньтесь, мы сядем с вами.

00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:24,209

Ты знаешь этих недоумков?

00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,458

— Нет.

— Он просто шутит.

00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,478

— Мы принесли тебе выпить.

— Вы не поняли?

00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,245

— Фанбакет теперь с нами.

— Нет-нет. Я не понимаю.

00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:34,192

— Что это значит?

— Это значит: отвали, братишка.

00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:36,749

Я сделал Фанбакета в квантовом инжекторе.

00:10:36,775 --> 00:10:38,240

Ясно? Он принадлежит нам.

00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:41,474

Я никому не принадлежу. Я настоящий.

00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,514

Но сёрфинг, Таиланд…

00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,809

Теперь мои друзья Трэвис и Эйвери.

00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,233

Они не относятся ко мне как к шестёрке.

00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:50,361

К тому же, мы не носим

дурацкие мантии волшебников.

00:10:50,362 --> 00:10:51,655

Это церемониальный наряд.

00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:54,017

Именно. Выгоните их отсюда.

00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,182

Пока, придурки.

00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,035

В чем дело, Корво? Что это?

00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,549

— Кто эти парни?

— Взгляни на меня.

00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:04,202

Я выделяю гублеров.

00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,530

Мы выделяем гублеров при сильном стрессе.

00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:09,840

Такого не было с тех пор, как нас

загнали в один душ в академии.

00:11:09,866 --> 00:11:13,049

Если верить словарю, нас сквичнули.

00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:14,761

— То есть бросили.

— О нет.

00:11:14,787 --> 00:11:16,294

Почему мне так плохо? Это больно.

00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,583

Наши тела не созданы для

эмоциональной нагрузки.

00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:20,218

Мы можем перегреться и умереть.

00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,531

Я не могу. Я еще не всё успел.

00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,018

Не потрогал дельфина, не сходил

на программу «Правильная цена».

00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:28,670

Не влюбился в поезде по пути

в Индию в женщину старше меня.

00:11:28,696 --> 00:11:31,278

Мы должны узнать, чем

эти парни лучше нас.

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,240

— Они просто зависают.

— Не может быть.

00:11:35,272 --> 00:11:36,302

Мы тоже.

00:11:38,809 --> 00:11:39,737

О нет!

00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,739

Какого черта? Вы следите за мной?

00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:45,173

Боже. Посмотри, что на них.

00:11:45,199 --> 00:11:47,949

О нет. Они оделись, как мы.

00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,684

Какое ничтожество.

00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,090

— Мы всегда так ходим.

— Поймите же.

00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:55,127

— Фанбакет теперь с нами.

— Прекратите плакать, как дети.

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,592

Сам ты ребёнок!

00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,680

Иди ты, Фанбакет!

00:12:04,285 --> 00:12:06,075

Плохой Пупа. Брось, брось.

00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,398

Серьёзно. От него плохо пахнет.

00:12:08,424 --> 00:12:11,339

Думаю, он съел гнилое

яблоко или что-то еще.

00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:14,733

Почему всё не может стать,

как было, когда телек был

00:12:14,759 --> 00:12:16,099

настоящим, а Фанбакет

РЕЖИМ САМОЛИКВИДАЦИИ ОТКЛЮЧЕН

00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,879

любил нас и не был придурком?

РЕЖИМ САМОЛИКВИДАЦИИ АКТИВИРОВАН

00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:21,614

Фанбакет слишком настоящий.

Фанбакет-два будет лучше.

00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,067

Да, да-да-да-да-да-да-да!

00:12:23,093 --> 00:12:26,037

Пусть он любит нас, Корво.

Сделай ему всякие навороты,

00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:28,038

чтобы он никогда не бросил нас.

00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,702

Кто хочет пойти в поход?

00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:37,776

— Нет. Мы идём в клуб.

— Давай согрешим!

00:12:37,803 --> 00:12:39,300

Фразы надо доработать.

00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:40,339

Сойдёт.

00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:43,022

Хотите раковый суп? Всем пока!

00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:49,060

Ха-ха-ха!

О, Фанбакет-два, ты потрясающий танцор.

00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,311

Я здесь за двумя вещами.

00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,863

— Хотите раковый суп?

— Эй.

00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:58,405

Никому не интересна ваша жалкая подделка.

00:12:58,431 --> 00:13:01,186

Ты завидуешь.

Обновлённый Фанбакет лучше тебя.

00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:05,024

Он придурок. Вы позорите сами себя.

00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,543

Что происходит? О боже!

00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:11,532

— Невидимая сила соединяет нас.

— Прекрати.

00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:12,788

Уберись от Фанбакета.

00:13:12,814 --> 00:13:15,092

— Квантовый инжектор.

— Помогите!

00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:18,536

Может… Думаю, матрицы их

тел пытаются совместиться.

00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,643

Хотите раковый суп?

00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,040

Нет, нет, нет!

00:13:39,904 --> 00:13:42,274

Привет. Вы наливаете навынос?

00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:45,581

Прекрасно.

Можно пару стаканов в дорогу? Спасибо.

00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:54,959

Думаешь, люди разозлятся на нас за это?

00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:57,384

Расслабься. Мало ли что это за мутант.

00:13:57,410 --> 00:14:01,830

Терри! Корво!

00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,293

Надо что-то сделать.

00:14:03,404 --> 00:14:06,235

— Зачем тебе столько кукол?

— А тебе — столько бластеров?

00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:08,635

— Мы пришельцы!

— Их слишком много.

00:14:08,636 --> 00:14:10,710

В последний раз Лидию

Джонсон видели в понедельник.

00:14:10,736 --> 00:14:14,451

Родители ищут любую

зацепку, чтобы найти её.

00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,188

Удачи им.

00:14:16,214 --> 00:14:19,178

Лидия, это Рэнди.

Хватит шляться, вернись домой.

00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:23,469

Боже, мне так тяжело.

Не думал, что буду скучать по ней.

00:14:23,478 --> 00:14:25,734

О-о. Мой отчим переживает.

00:14:25,735 --> 00:14:27,730

Нам тоже дадут вознаграждение?

00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:30,572

Срочная новость.

Мне сказали, что Фанбакет настоящий.

00:14:30,598 --> 00:14:32,547

О нет, эй, ты тоже гублеришь.

00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:34,451

Да. Нас ищет полиция!

00:14:34,477 --> 00:14:36,195

Что с людьми и их детьми?

00:14:36,221 --> 00:14:38,301

— Я думал, им нравится их делать.

— Что теперь?

00:14:38,327 --> 00:14:41,625

Классика жанра: «убить девку в Вегасе».

00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:43,701

Похищение сделает лишь хуже.

00:14:43,727 --> 00:14:46,844

Отпустите меня, и я выпрошу

для вас хорошую тюрьму.

00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:49,437

— Растворим её.

— Принесу кислоту.

00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,590

— Так нельзя!

— Она права.

00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:55,071

— Ударь сбоку, как по кетчупу.

— Не убивайте меня!

00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:59,220

Не волнуйся, мы посадим кусочки

тебя, и вырастет новая девочка.

00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:02,597

Такого не бывает.

Можете просто очистить мой мозг?

00:15:02,623 --> 00:15:03,597

Что за «мозг»?

00:15:08,939 --> 00:15:12,110

Стой! Здесь нет парковки.

Завтра здесь убирают улицу.

00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:18,382

Не видели уменьшитель?

00:15:18,408 --> 00:15:20,498

Он лежал в шкафу с ненужной мороженицей.

00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,823

Я замораживал в ней йогурт.

00:15:22,829 --> 00:15:26,622

— Нам очень неловко.

— Зачем вы вскрыли одноклассницу?

00:15:26,648 --> 00:15:31,154

Хотя учёные изучают мозг человека

много веков, он всё еще загадка.

00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,966

И она обижала нас в школе.

00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,504

Их все обижают. Не я это придумала.

00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:37,886

Школа — отстой, ясно? Там плохо.

00:15:37,913 --> 00:15:39,921

Это неважно. У нас миссия.

00:15:39,945 --> 00:15:42,596

Если что-то не по-вашему,

нельзя просто отдаться эмоциям

00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:46,549

и делать, что хочется,

делать нового Фанбакета.

00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:49,552

— Что?

— Нельзя уменьшать людей.

00:15:49,578 --> 00:15:52,694

Мы хотели не убить ее, а

немного перепрограммировать.

00:15:52,695 --> 00:15:54,083

Мы наказаны?

00:15:54,109 --> 00:15:57,235

Обсудим наказание позже.

Зашейте её и отпустите.

00:15:57,239 --> 00:16:02,076

Вашим «наказанием» теперь

будет тюрьма до конца жизни.

00:16:02,077 --> 00:16:07,379

И знаете что? Странным пришельцам

в тюрьме будет совсем не весело.

00:16:09,417 --> 00:16:11,687

Кого я собиралась отметелить?

00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:14,551

— Продолжай, пока не остынет.

— Кое-кто пойдёт в тюрьму.

00:16:15,465 --> 00:16:18,083

Кое-кто… я… подсолнух…

00:16:18,109 --> 00:16:20,411

О, она становится глупее.

00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,928

Неужели люди пьют эту штуку?

00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:25,644

С газировкой без сахара

было бы еще быстрее.

00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,520

— Можешь ехать прямо?

— Я и так стараюсь, Терри.

00:16:53,753 --> 00:16:56,369

Нам следует избавить его от страданий.

00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,071

Нет. Я сам.

00:16:58,097 --> 00:17:00,438

Знаешь, Терри, сегодня я узнал важную вещь.

00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,471

Нельзя переносить свои

желания на другое создание.

00:17:03,472 --> 00:17:05,336

— О черт. Держи!

— Лови его! Лови!

00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,485

Ты не виноват, комбо-Фанбакет.

00:17:08,511 --> 00:17:10,222

Мне не надо было

поддаваться эмоциям.

00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:13,358

Всё будет хорошо.

Нас ждёт последнее приключение,

00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,441

— и ты уйдёшь жить в молл.

— В молл?

00:17:15,442 --> 00:17:17,926

Я думал, мы убьём его.

Сбросим его с обрыва.

00:17:17,952 --> 00:17:20,448

Черт, Терри. Видишь, молл

00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:21,697

там, внизу.

00:17:21,698 --> 00:17:25,377

Это самый гуманный способ

закончить наше общение, дружок.

00:17:25,403 --> 00:17:26,911

Оно закончится

00:17:27,209 --> 00:17:30,039

в промежутке от тридцати пяти

до пятидесяти восьми секунд.

00:17:30,744 --> 00:17:33,334

— Стой!

— Оставьте нас, Трэвис и Эйвери.

00:17:33,335 --> 00:17:34,963

— Достаточно.

— Не убивайте его!

00:17:34,964 --> 00:17:36,712

— Мы любим его.

— Он чудовище.

00:17:36,713 --> 00:17:39,963

Нам всё равно, как он

выглядит, жестокий ли он

00:17:39,966 --> 00:17:43,780

или соединился с другим

Фанбакетом на молекулярном уровне.

00:17:43,806 --> 00:17:45,556

Он всё равно Фанбакет.

00:17:45,557 --> 00:17:48,435

Давай. Давай. Мы поймаем тебя, братишка!

00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:59,710

Корво! Терри!

00:17:59,736 --> 00:18:02,227

Ничего, приятель, ничего.

00:18:05,909 --> 00:18:08,066

Тебе не кажется, что мы поступили плохо?

00:18:08,092 --> 00:18:10,654

Мы пришельцы. Наши пути неизведанны.

00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,540

Нас нельзя судить людскими мерками.

00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:15,101

Пойдём отсюда, пока нас не арестовали.

00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:16,702

Это детская больница?

00:18:16,735 --> 00:18:18,370

Не знал, что они взрываются.

00:18:18,396 --> 00:18:20,546

Что там хранят? Баки с горючим?

00:18:20,549 --> 00:18:23,425

В детской больнице?

Не удивительно, что дети болеют.

00:18:23,426 --> 00:18:25,764

Когда вернёмся, выброси мороженицу.

00:18:25,765 --> 00:18:27,471

— Ты не делаешь в ней йогурт.

— О боже.

00:18:27,472 --> 00:18:29,629

Ты молчал целый час? Я пользуюсь ей.

00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:30,786

Неправда.

00:18:31,539 --> 00:18:33,176

— Эй!

— О боже, что?

00:18:33,202 --> 00:18:34,814

Не трогал я ваши компьютеры.

00:18:34,815 --> 00:18:37,523

Я слежу за вами, гадкие пришельцы.

00:18:37,524 --> 00:18:39,321

Думаете, если ничего не сделали сегодня,

00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:42,077

это сойдёт вам с рук?

Вы на прицеле.

00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:44,071

Я слежу за вами.

00:18:44,072 --> 00:18:46,643

Мы ничего не сделали. За что вы злитесь?

00:18:48,496 --> 00:18:51,762

Я была маленькой, а теперь большая.

00:18:51,788 --> 00:18:53,348

Я писаюсь в штаны.

00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:56,330

Смешно. Ты лучшая, Лидия.

00:18:56,990 --> 00:19:00,558

Как только я привыкаю к

вашему сленгу, вы его меняете.

00:19:00,584 --> 00:19:01,922

О. Люди глупы.

00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,504

Нас никогда не поймают.

00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:05,638

Что это значит? Поймают? За что?

00:19:05,639 --> 00:19:06,844

Э… то есть…

00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:10,895

Вы уменьшили её и сделали ей

лоботомию, чтобы это скрыть?

00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:15,311

Вы лили газировку ей на открытый мозг?

00:19:15,312 --> 00:19:18,272

Это ужасно.

Надо с вами двумя что-то делать.

00:19:18,274 --> 00:19:21,566

Вы не можете безнаказанно

жить дальше, как прежде.

00:19:21,568 --> 00:19:24,028

Нельзя делать вид, будто

ничего не случилось.

00:19:25,572 --> 00:19:28,402

Знаешь, Терри.

Думаю, они правда любили Фанбакета,

00:19:28,409 --> 00:19:31,179

гораздо сильнее и крепче,

чем можем любить мы.

00:19:31,205 --> 00:19:32,991

Надо пригласить их как-нибудь.

00:19:33,017 --> 00:19:35,873

— О, с корочкой. Мои любимые.

— Крылышки!

00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,895

— Мы не наказаны?

— Мы застряли в мире,

00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:41,923

который, находясь на грани

исчезновения, населён видом,

00:19:41,924 --> 00:19:44,342

уничтожающим природу,

но пока мы здесь

00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:48,722

дышим этим отравленным

воздухом, мы хотя бы вместе.

00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:51,331

Вас не заменит и миллион Фанбакетов.

00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,264

— Что за Фанбакет?

— Мы лучшие друзья!

00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:54,934

Посмотрим все серии «Гарри Поттера»!

00:19:54,935 --> 00:19:57,656

Я не об этом.

Отныне мы сосредоточимся на миссии,

00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,889

но будем семьёй и всё такое прочее.

00:20:00,915 --> 00:20:03,308

Наденем одинаковые

костюмы и пойдём на шоу.

00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:06,733

— Нет-нет. Я затыкаю уши.

— Как двое друзей, взявшись за руки.

00:20:07,184 --> 00:20:09,293

Что это за «миссия»?

00:20:09,319 --> 00:20:11,916

Корво постоянно говорит о ней и злится.

00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:13,820

Но никто не знает ничего конкретного.

00:20:13,829 --> 00:20:16,748

Когда Пупа станет взрослым,

он обретёт настоящую форму,

00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,510

которая перестроит эту

планету по образу нашего дома,

00:20:19,536 --> 00:20:22,124

используя данные его ДНК. Вот так.

00:20:22,129 --> 00:20:24,869

О-о, похоже, Пупу ждёт важная работа.

00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,845

— Ужасно!

— Ужасно, Пупа.

00:20:27,846 --> 00:20:30,069

Не ешь гублеров. Плохой Пупа!

00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:34,057

Неужели нас действительно не наказали?

00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:36,559

— Корво злился.

— Не надо было похищать ребёнка.

00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,270

Не знаю, о чем я думал

00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:43,361

Отныне уменьшаем лишь взрослых.

Всем плевать, куда пропадают придурки.

00:20:43,387 --> 00:20:46,824

Доброй ночи, мистер Уборщик.

Я сделала рубашку из туалетной бумаги.

00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:49,164

Будет мала — надорвите немного.

00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:12,738

Давай, строй этот бур. Поработай синими мышцами.

00:00:12,738 --> 00:00:14,488

Хватит раздевать меня взглядом, Дебби.

00:00:14,488 --> 00:00:15,998

Я хочу спокойно поработать.

00:00:15,998 --> 00:00:17,748

Я тут не ради твоих намеков.

00:00:17,748 --> 00:00:20,458

Хей, репликанты пропустили автобус. Можешь отвезти их в школу?

00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,708

- Я занят.

- Мы не пропустили его.

00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:24,088

- Водитель специально проехала мимо.

- Я уверен, что она случайно.

00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:26,128

Водитель просто ненавидит нас, потому что я попытался взять

00:00:26,128 --> 00:00:28,508

крошечный образец ее глаза.

00:00:28,508 --> 00:00:30,468

Мы можем уже пойти? В классной комнате я обычно решаю,

00:00:30,468 --> 00:00:32,298

в кого я сегодня влюблена.

00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:34,718

- Нет, я занят.

- Ну же, Корво. Не веди себя так.

00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:36,388

Ты бы лучше помог мне с буром.

00:00:36,388 --> 00:00:38,808

Мне надо отвести Пупу в собачий парк. Не хотим упустить лабрадудлей.

00:00:38,808 --> 00:00:42,188

Значит, собачий парк важнее, чем добыча сплава никеля,

00:00:42,188 --> 00:00:43,398

чтобы починить наш корабль?

00:00:43,398 --> 00:00:45,028

Не знаю, Корво.

00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:47,438

А сплав никела сможет поймать фрисби?

00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,948

Не узнаем, пока не получим его.

00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,068

Знаешь, иногда у меня такое чувство, что я единственный шлорпианец,

00:00:51,068 --> 00:00:52,868

который хочет покинуть эту мерзкую планетку.

00:00:52,868 --> 00:00:54,618

Эй, это ты на нее решил приземлиться.

00:00:54,618 --> 00:00:56,868

Мои сканеры не показывали, что это это дыра с кучкой людей,

00:00:56,868 --> 00:00:58,868

в которых нет ничего хорошего, Терри.

00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:01,918

Мы тут торчим уже год. Почему тебе нормально?

00:01:22,308 --> 00:01:24,018

Ладно, хорошо. Иди к папочке.

00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,318

Нет, нет, нет.

00:01:34,198 --> 00:01:36,618

В собачьем парке была стрельба,

00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,408

но собаки все равно так счастливы, словно ничего и не произошло.

00:01:39,408 --> 00:01:42,168

О да, вам нравятся эти обрубки? Хотите полизать их?

00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:45,338

Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией.

00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,208

До падения астероида.

00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:50,758

Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой

00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,588

и отправились в космос

00:01:52,588 --> 00:01:55,138

в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.

00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:58,968

Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселенной планете.

00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,678

Верно, это я говорил все это время.

00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,598

Я тот, который держут Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.

00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,898

Это... это мое шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу. Видите меня?

00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:06,308

Это просто смешно.

00:02:06,308 --> 00:02:08,188

Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:02:08,188 --> 00:02:09,648

Однажды я взорву ее

00:02:09,648 --> 00:02:11,988

и покончу со всем этим, клянусь богом.

00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:22,828

Только взгляните на эти маленькие ножки.

00:02:22,828 --> 00:02:24,368

Они уже растут. Только посмотрите!

00:02:24,368 --> 00:02:25,918

- Не смотри на них.

- Я уже весь день распланировал.

00:02:25,918 --> 00:02:28,458

Мы купим лотерейные билеты, выиграем миллион долларов,

00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:30,588

а потом отдадим его официантке,

00:02:30,588 --> 00:02:32,168

полностью меняя ее жизнь.

00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,468

Ну же, девочка. Купи себе туфли.

00:02:34,468 --> 00:02:37,758

Я планирую сидеть в темной комнате и прыскать питательными веществами на обрубки,

00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,848

пока они не отрастут, а потом буду изучать инструкции по починке.

00:02:40,848 --> 00:02:43,688

Ну же, Корвотрон. Знаю, что Земля немного

00:02:43,688 --> 00:02:45,808

более населена разумной жизнью, чем ожидалось,

00:02:45,808 --> 00:02:46,978

но тут все равно может быть весело.

00:02:46,978 --> 00:02:48,858

Надо просто расслабиться, расслабиться со своими бро.

00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:51,228

Мне тут никогда не понравится. Хватит пытаться развеселить меня.

00:02:51,228 --> 00:02:54,358

- Я просто... дай мне спокойно отрастить ноги.

- Как скажешь, Корво.

00:03:06,328 --> 00:03:08,418

У тебя есть такое чувство, что все вокруг считают нас странными?

00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:10,878

Нет, а как ученый и охотник за головами,

00:03:10,878 --> 00:03:12,418

я бы сразу это почувствовал.

00:03:12,418 --> 00:03:14,378

Инопланетяне - остой.

00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:15,378

Возвращайтесь на Уран.

00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:17,638

Мы даже не из этого квадранта.

00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:20,928

Не думаю, что нам следует учиться вместе с инопланетянами,

00:03:20,928 --> 00:03:24,058

которые могут перестрелять нас из лазерных пушек.

00:03:24,058 --> 00:03:26,518

Не будьте расистами. Мы ни в кого не стреляем.

00:03:26,518 --> 00:03:29,398

Чертовы инопланетяне, вы снова деретесь с кем-то в коридоре?

00:03:29,398 --> 00:03:31,108

В кабинет директора Кука. Срочно.

00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:34,438

Что это за персонаж такой - Фанбакет?

00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:35,818

- Почему интересуешься?

- Я не знал,

00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:37,318

что на Земле есть еще одна разумная раса.

00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,448

Бинго Банго, я Фанбакет.

00:03:39,448 --> 00:03:41,278

Мне нравится его коронная фраза.

00:03:41,278 --> 00:03:43,408

О да, у него много таких фраз. "Бинго банго"

00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:45,788

это всего лишь одна из них.

00:03:45,788 --> 00:03:49,128

Похоже, Фанбакету реально не нравятся люди.

00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:50,838

О да, однажды он скормил волшебные бобы

00:03:50,838 --> 00:03:52,628

мистеру Шромеру и тот превратился в куст.

00:03:52,628 --> 00:03:53,798

Тот превратился в куст!

00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,218

О, он должен был быть в бешенстве.

00:03:55,218 --> 00:03:56,928

- Он был в бешенстве?

- Да, он был очень раздражен.

00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:58,888

Вау, Фанбакету вообще плевать на правила, да?

00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:01,598

Кажется, у него в подвале есть секретная лаборатория.

00:04:01,598 --> 00:04:03,308

Да, с помощью они решают всякие загадки.

00:04:03,308 --> 00:04:06,888

Знаешь, простые математические уравнения. Например, кто украл новую ручку директора.

00:04:06,888 --> 00:04:10,058

Это парень просто потрясающий. Как бы я хотел жить рядом с Фанбакетом.

00:04:10,058 --> 00:04:12,268

Мы бы могли зависать вместе и обсуждать людей.

00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,398

Могли бы заниматься наукой. Знаешь, Фанбакет напоминает Корво,

00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:15,438

как думаешь, Терри?

00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:18,448

Я уверен, что он ненавидит Землю и их тупой месячный календарь, как и я.

00:04:18,448 --> 00:04:20,448

В субботу приходите в ТЦ Гретхен-Дарт

00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:22,198

на ежегодные мега скидки.

00:04:22,198 --> 00:04:25,618

Скидки во всех магазинах,а также у вас есть шанс выиграть кости пальцев святого Питера!

00:04:25,618 --> 00:04:29,328

Также вы встретитесь с Фанбакетом и клоуном Ранго.

00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:32,418

Ранго классный. У него рыжие волосы, а его дом - это ботинок.

00:04:32,418 --> 00:04:33,708

- Думаю, он живет в Мичигане.

- Подожди-ка.

00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,338

Фанбакет будет в нашем ТЦ?

00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:36,468

Мы могли бы с ним встретиться.

00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:37,918

О, приятель, он мог бы посмотреть твои записи.

00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:39,588

Он мог бы помочь нам с миссией.

00:04:39,588 --> 00:04:40,588

Ты же любишь это слово на М, верно?

00:04:40,588 --> 00:04:42,048

Мы должны посмотреть все серии, Терри.

00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,508

Я должен знать про Фанбакета все.

00:04:43,508 --> 00:04:45,178

Есть ли у него пенис? Может ли он размножаться?

00:04:45,178 --> 00:04:47,178

Я не... Я не знаю, это как-то не упоминалось.

00:04:47,178 --> 00:04:49,098

Да, то есть, думаю, у него есть пенис.

00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:51,148

- Возможно, он огромный.

- Хорошо, хорошо, Терри.

00:04:51,148 --> 00:04:53,268

Мы должны узнать про него все перед тем, как встретим его.

00:04:53,268 --> 00:04:55,278

Ну, и что вы скажете в оправдание?

00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:58,198

- О чем?

- Кто-то проник в компьютерный класс

00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,698

и теперь у всех iMac есть искуственный интеллект.

00:05:00,698 --> 00:05:03,238

Раньше я был копом. Меня зовут Ричард Майклз.

00:05:03,238 --> 00:05:05,738

Эта штука пыталась арестовать всех, кто ее использовал.

00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,948

Вы просто вините нас из-за того, что мы инопланетяне.

00:05:07,948 --> 00:05:10,578

У всех есть доступ к компьютерам.

00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:13,788

- Замри, гад.

- Вот что застряло в двери.

00:05:13,788 --> 00:05:15,878

Ну, у меня есть обе.

00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:17,628

А почему эта выглядит такой новой?

00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:19,128

Потому что я ношу на ней перчатку.

00:05:19,548 --> 00:05:22,548

С этого времени я ожидаю от вас идеального поведения.

00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:25,598

Никакой терраформирование для создания людей-стручков в спортзале

00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:27,468

или другого дерьма из За гранью возможного.

00:05:27,468 --> 00:05:30,478

Если не будете вести себя нормально, то вас исключат.

00:05:30,478 --> 00:05:33,728

А теперь валите отсюда.

00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,188

Нам бы стоило уже их вышвырнуть.

00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:38,988

Тебе надо собраться, Кук.

00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:41,488

Скоро все будет, мисс Фрэнки.

00:05:41,488 --> 00:05:46,448

И ты увидишь, какой я властный.

00:05:46,448 --> 00:05:47,408

Иди сюда.

00:05:48,868 --> 00:05:51,748

Вот бы они относились к нам так, как к обычным детям.

00:05:51,748 --> 00:05:54,538

Да, нормальным детям с уменьшающим лучом.

00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:58,508

Я надеру вам задницы. Выпустите меня отсюда!

00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,548

Не могу поверить, что увижу Фанбакета.

00:06:01,548 --> 00:06:03,468

Моя роба хорошо выглядит, Терри?

00:06:03,468 --> 00:06:05,678

О боже, я спрошу у него, может ли он дышать под водой.

00:06:05,678 --> 00:06:08,008

Я-я уверен, что может. Честно, я просто... Может, не стоит.

00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:09,428

Нет, я все равно спрошу его на всякий.

00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:10,678

Терри, я уверен, он будет так рад узнать,

00:06:10,678 --> 00:06:12,558

что на этой планете есть другие разумные виды.

00:06:12,558 --> 00:06:14,228

Он больше не будет чувствовать себя так одиноко.

00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:16,728

Я приглашу его сыграть в Нинтендо. Думаешь, ему нравится Нинтендо?

00:06:16,728 --> 00:06:19,108

- А если он больше по Сеге?

- Думаешь, у него тоже есть миссия?

00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:20,398

О, я в этом уверен.

00:06:20,398 --> 00:06:23,068

Как думаешь, его мех жесткий или мягкий?

00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:25,068

- Странно.

- Что, что?

00:06:25,068 --> 00:06:28,198

Фанбакет крупнее, чем по телевизору.

00:06:28,198 --> 00:06:31,658

Да, это так. Подожди, его кожа сделана из одежды?

00:06:32,408 --> 00:06:34,078

Какого черта происходит?

00:06:34,078 --> 00:06:36,628

Тут очередь. Займите место в очереди...

00:06:36,628 --> 00:06:38,548

Это просто какой-то ребенок. Что ты сделал с Фанбакетом?

00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:42,338

- Я требую увидеться с Фанбакетом.

- Фанбакета не существует, идиоты.

00:06:42,338 --> 00:06:44,378

Нет, он существует. Мы его видели по телевизору.

00:06:44,378 --> 00:06:46,428

- Это шоу для детей.

- Шоу для детей?

00:06:50,348 --> 00:06:51,598

Убирайтесь отсюда!

00:06:52,268 --> 00:06:54,348

Фанбакета не сущесвует?

00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,018

Фанбакет должен существовать. Должен.

00:06:56,018 --> 00:06:58,018

- Телевизор нам лгал. Лгал.

- Это невозможно.

00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,278

Вся история человечества есть в телевизоре.

00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:02,898

Я даже не знаю, что вообще существует. Подлодки существуют?

00:07:02,898 --> 00:07:05,908

- Пингвины существуют?

- Я не знаю, думаю, нет.

00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,488

- Стоп, квантовый инжектор.

- А Друзья существуют?

00:07:08,488 --> 00:07:09,988

А Фрейзер существует?

00:07:09,988 --> 00:07:13,078

Если Фрейзер не существует, я покончу с собой.

00:07:13,078 --> 00:07:15,668

- Как ты вообще можешь думать сейчас о работе?

- Квантовый инжектор.

00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,748

Обычно используется для настройки органических выбросов

00:07:17,748 --> 00:07:20,878

для передачи матрицы, но с парочкой изменений...

00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:24,298

- Мы создадим Фанбакета.

- Нам нужен Фанбакет.

00:07:24,298 --> 00:07:26,798

Он поможет нам с нашей миссией, Терри. Он человек науки.

00:07:26,798 --> 00:07:29,548

Ты видел, что у него есть лаборатория в подвале ребенка.

00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:31,598

Ты видел, что он творил в том самом эпизоде?

00:07:31,598 --> 00:07:33,888

Он просто обязан существовать.

00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:38,808

Нам важно любое крошечное изменение.

00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:46,198

Бинго банго, я Фанбакет.

00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,568

Фанбакет, я Корво, это Терри.

00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,328

И теперь мы твои лучшие друзья.

00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,118

Вы же не какие-то извращенцы?

00:07:53,118 --> 00:07:55,078

Нет, нет, нет.

00:08:02,128 --> 00:08:03,378

Бинго банго!

00:08:18,688 --> 00:08:21,228

Ты просто шопоголик, Фанбакет.

00:08:21,228 --> 00:08:23,528

Терапия покупок.

00:08:23,528 --> 00:08:26,488

Эй, это не твоя коронная фраза. Скажи "бинго банго".

00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:29,988

- Бинго банго.

- Вот так.

00:08:29,988 --> 00:08:32,238

Эй, эй, эй. Посмотрите, кто существует.

00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:34,328

Просто дайте мне пройти. Хватит.

00:08:34,328 --> 00:08:38,418

Думаю, тебе стоит извиниться перед нашим существующим другом.

00:08:38,868 --> 00:08:43,088

- Прости, что думал, что тебя не сущесвует.

- Да... ничего.

00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:46,718

Давайте зайдем в бутик с косметикой в Блуми.

00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:48,508

Мы подготовим тебя к сегодняшему походу в клуб.

00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:50,178

Мне нравится то, как я выгляжу.

00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:51,798

Фанбакет, мы не собираемся это обсуждать.

00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,098

Мы хотим приодеть тебя,

00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,178

чтобы все люди такие: "Вау".

00:08:56,178 --> 00:08:58,308

"Что это за крутые парни рядом с Фанбакетом?"

00:08:59,938 --> 00:09:01,858

А ну увеличьте меня.

00:09:01,858 --> 00:09:04,438

Я изобью вас, но обещаю не убивать.

00:09:04,438 --> 00:09:06,438

Просто пройди лабиринт. Ты мешаешь моим исследованиям.

00:09:06,438 --> 00:09:08,238

Это так глупо. Ты уверен, что

00:09:08,238 --> 00:09:10,198

у нас не будут из-за этого громадные проблемы?

00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,818

Люди всегда проводят опыты над низшими видами.

00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,868

Давай просто выпустим ее в поле, чтобы она жила с другими животными.

00:09:14,868 --> 00:09:17,998

И потерять эти данные? Ты вообще хочешь изучать людей?

00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:21,248

Нет! Я хочу обедать с друзьями и смотреть фильмы с мальчиками.

00:09:21,248 --> 00:09:22,878

- Готово.

- Я забыл засечь время.

00:09:22,878 --> 00:09:25,418

- Сделай еще раз.

- Это чертовски глупо.

00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:27,418

Я даже не знаю, кто ты теперь.

00:09:27,418 --> 00:09:29,878

Раньше ты был ученым. А теперь ты просто придурок.

00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:32,638

Эксперименты помогут понять, почему мы всем так не нравимся.

00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,508

Я хочу отдохнуть в ТЦ.

00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,848

Черт, она сдаст нас.

00:09:37,268 --> 00:09:40,188

Черт возьми. Просто посмотрите на это место.

00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,478

Это Трим Сити!

00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:43,728

У них есть водка Ченнинга Татума!

00:09:45,688 --> 00:09:47,568

Чувак, чувак, мы должны взять Фанбакета

00:09:47,568 --> 00:09:49,148

в поездку и отправиться в Нью-Йорк.

00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:51,398

Мы будем слушать подкасты и альбомы Гэффигана.

00:09:51,398 --> 00:09:52,568

Он отец Америки!

00:09:52,568 --> 00:09:54,948

Это будет так здорово.

00:09:54,948 --> 00:09:57,868

Возможно, мы бы делали остановки на разные развлечения по дороге.

00:09:57,868 --> 00:09:59,698

- Да.

- Эй, Корв!

00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:01,328

Кажется, тебе начинает нравиться Земля?

00:10:01,328 --> 00:10:03,248

Должен признать, что благодаря Фанбакету

00:10:03,248 --> 00:10:05,998

я не так спешу починить корабль.

00:10:05,998 --> 00:10:07,298

О боже, я сейчас заплачу.

00:10:08,878 --> 00:10:11,008

Фанбакет, вот твой напиток.

00:10:12,588 --> 00:10:14,388

Нам стоит поискать его в толпе.

00:10:16,598 --> 00:10:19,768

Как дела? Я Терри, это Корво.

00:10:19,768 --> 00:10:21,478

- Мы инопланетяне.

- Пододвиньтесь,

00:10:21,478 --> 00:10:24,098

- чтобы мы могли присоединиться.

- Что это за придурки, бро?

00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,358

- Нет.

- О, да он просто прикалывается.

00:10:26,358 --> 00:10:28,438

- Эй, мы взяли тебе напиток, Фанбакет.

- Раскрой глаза, бро.

00:10:28,438 --> 00:10:31,238

- Фанбакет тебе с нами.

- Я... стоп, я не понимаю.

00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,148

С? Что ты имеешь в виду?

00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:34,318

Он имеет в виду "пошли вы", бро.

00:10:34,318 --> 00:10:36,698

Я создал Фанбакета с помощью квантового инжектора.

00:10:36,698 --> 00:10:37,948

Он принадлежит нам.

00:10:37,948 --> 00:10:41,368

Я никому не принадлежу. Я существую.

00:10:41,368 --> 00:10:43,418

Но-но серфинг, Тайланд.

00:10:43,418 --> 00:10:45,708

Теперь я дружу с Трэвисом и Эйври.

00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:48,128

Не считайте меня просто каким-то тупым героем тв-шоу.

00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:50,258

К тому же, мы не носим громадные робы.

00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,718

Это церемониальное одеяние.

00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,758

Ну все. Валите отсюда.

00:10:56,678 --> 00:10:57,928

До встречи, придурки.

00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:00,928

Какого хрена, Корво?

Что происходит?

00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,478

Кто, черт возьми, эти парни?

Смотри сюда!

00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:04,228

У меня мисизм! Из меня выходят мисистики!

00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,518

Мисистики выходят из наших тел только во время сильного стресса.

00:11:06,518 --> 00:11:07,938

Божечки, такое было только в академии,

00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,818

когда они заставили нас принять душ вместе.

00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:12,938

Как говорят местные, мы "сквончимся".

00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:14,778

- Это значит, мы не можем сдерживаться.

- Чувак...

00:11:14,778 --> 00:11:16,198

Но почему так больно?

00:11:16,198 --> 00:11:18,278

Наши тела не рассчитаны

на эмоциональные перегрузки.

00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,238

Есть вероятность, что

мы перегреемся и умрем.

00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:22,448

Мне нельзя умирать.

У меня есть список предсмертных дел.

00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,918

Я еще не потрогал дельфина

и не поучаствовал в телешоу.

00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,078

Мне суждено влюбиться

в поезде на пути в Индию

00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:28,668

в женщину немного старше меня.

00:11:28,668 --> 00:11:31,128

Мы должны понять,

чем те парни лучше нас.

00:11:33,048 --> 00:11:35,128

Они просто зависают вместе.

- Здесь что-то не так.

00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,218

Мы ведь тоже так делали.

00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:39,388

Черт!

00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:43,018

Какого хрена?

Вы следите за мной?

00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:45,228

Боже мой,

вы только посмотрите, во что они одеты.

00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:47,978

Да они же пытались

скопировать наш прикид.

00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:49,608

Жалкое зрелище.

00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,978

- Да мы всегда так одеваемся.

- Эй, поймите уже наконец,

00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:55,028

Фанбакет теперь с нами.

- Перестаньте плакать как девчонки!

00:11:55,028 --> 00:11:56,488

Сам ты девчонка, идиот!

00:11:58,158 --> 00:11:59,568

Да пошел ты, Фанбакет!

00:12:04,198 --> 00:12:05,998

Плохой Пупа!

Выплюнь ее! Выплюнь!

00:12:05,998 --> 00:12:08,288

Да уж, воняет там жутко.

00:12:08,288 --> 00:12:11,208

Похоже, что он съел

гнилое яблоко или типа того.

00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,088

Почему все просто

не может быть по-старому?

00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:17,798

Персонажи из телека были настоящими,

а Фанбакет не вел себя как придурок.

00:12:17,798 --> 00:12:21,508

Фанбакет был даже слишком настоящим.

Фантбакет 2 получится лучше.

00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,008

Да-да-да!

00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,928

Сделай так, чтобы он любил нас, Корво.

И добавь всяких наворотов.

00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:27,938

Сделай так, чтобы он никогда нас не бросил.

00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:34,228

Кто хочет пойти в поход?!

00:12:34,858 --> 00:12:37,238

- Нет, мы пойдем в клуб.

- Засунь в меня свой причиндал.

00:12:37,238 --> 00:12:39,198

Нужно еще поработать над его фирменными фразочками.

00:12:39,198 --> 00:12:40,158

Все нормально.

00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:42,908

Готовы зажечь?

Всем отличного вечера.

00:12:44,618 --> 00:12:48,958

Ха-ха, Фанбакет 2,

ты определенно отличный танцор.

00:12:48,958 --> 00:12:51,208

Я пришел сюда, чтобы сделать две вещи.

00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,878

Ауч.

00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,838

- Вы готовы зажечь?

00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:58,428

Всем плевать на вашу жалкую

копию Фанбакета.

00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:01,338

Ты завидуешь.

Наш усовершенствованный Фанбакет превосходит тебя во всем.

00:13:01,338 --> 00:13:04,808

Это же просто какой-то уродец.

Вы сейчас сами себя позорите.

00:13:05,598 --> 00:13:07,428

Что происходит?

Боже!

00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:11,348

- Невидимые силы тянут нас друг к другу.

- Эй, перестаньте!

00:13:11,348 --> 00:13:12,688

Прочь от нашего Фанбакета.

00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:14,608

- Квантовый инжектор.

- Помогите, помогите!

00:13:14,608 --> 00:13:18,028

Кажется, ткани их клеток пытаются воссоединиться.

00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,528

Вы готовы зажечь?

00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:27,748

Нет-нет-нет!

00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:42,178

Эм, могу заказать навынос?

00:13:42,178 --> 00:13:45,468

Отлично, можно нам пару

стаканчиков с собой. Спасибо.

00:13:52,808 --> 00:13:54,938

Как думаешь, люди

разозлятся на нас за это?

00:13:54,938 --> 00:13:57,398

Успокойся, Терри.

Это может быть чей угодно мутант.

00:13:57,398 --> 00:14:01,818

Терри, Корво!

00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:03,198

Надо что-то делать.

00:14:03,198 --> 00:14:06,158

- Зачем тебе столько кукол?

- А зачем тебе столько бластеров?

00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:08,618

- Мы ведь инопланетяне.

- Это уже перебор.

00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:10,708

Последний раз Лидию Джонсон видели в понедельник.

00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:12,578

Ее родители умоляют

сообщить любую информацию,

00:14:12,578 --> 00:14:14,328

которая поможет ее вернуть.

00:14:14,328 --> 00:14:16,338

Удачи им.

00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:19,128

Лидия, это Рэнди.

Хватит страдать херней, возвращайся домой.

00:14:19,838 --> 00:14:23,468

Чтоб тебя, мне сейчас тоже непросто.

Не думал, что буду так скучать.

00:14:23,468 --> 00:14:25,718

Да уж, оказывается,

моему отчиму не плевать на меня.

00:14:25,718 --> 00:14:27,718

А мы получим компенсацию?

Или как это работает?

00:14:27,718 --> 00:14:30,388

Срочные новости!

Сообщают, что Фанбакет реален.

00:14:30,388 --> 00:14:32,438

- Блин, крошка, из тебя выходят мисистики.

- О, нет!

00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,478

Да, потому что нас преследует полиция.

00:14:34,478 --> 00:14:36,188

Почему люди так переживают

за своих детей?

00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:38,358

- Мне казалось, им нравится их делать.

- Что же делать нам?

00:14:38,358 --> 00:14:41,608

Типичная ситуация в духе "убить шлюшку в Вегасе".

00:14:41,608 --> 00:14:43,698

Если будете тянуть время,

станет только хуже.

00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:46,578

Отпустите меня, и я попрошу их

посадить вас в хорошую тюрьму.

00:14:47,238 --> 00:14:49,198

- Можем растворить ее.

- Принесу кислоту.

00:14:50,578 --> 00:14:52,578

- Так нельзя.

- Она права.

00:14:52,578 --> 00:14:54,998

Нужно поливать сбоку, как кетчупом.

- Вы не можете просто убить меня.

00:14:54,998 --> 00:14:59,208

Не переживай, мы посадим в землю твои останки,

и они вырастут в новую прекрасную девочку.

00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,088

Это не так работает!

Можете просто стереть мне память?

00:15:02,088 --> 00:15:03,628

Что такое память?

00:15:08,848 --> 00:15:12,018

Стой, здесь нельзя парковаться.

Завтра тут будет уборка улиц.

00:15:17,108 --> 00:15:18,398

Вы не видели уменьшающий луч?

00:15:18,398 --> 00:15:20,478

Обычно он рядом с мороженицей, которой мы не пользуемся.

00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,818

Эй, вообще-то я замораживаю в ней йогурт.

00:15:22,818 --> 00:15:26,448

- Такая неловкая ситуация.

- Зачем вы делаете лоботомию однокласснице?

00:15:26,448 --> 00:15:28,578

Несмотря на то, что множество ученых уже исследовали его

00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:31,078

на протяжении сотни лет,

человеческий мозг - все еще загадка.

00:15:31,078 --> 00:15:32,948

А еще она обижала нас в школе.

00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:35,498

Все обижают их.

Не я это придумала.

00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,748

Школа - отстой, понятно?

Нам там не нравится.

00:15:37,748 --> 00:15:39,838

Не важно, нравится вам или нет.

У нас есть задание.

00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,588

Когда что-то идет не по-вашему,

нельзя просто поддаться эмоциям

00:15:42,588 --> 00:15:46,258

и начать делать все, что захочется.

Например, создавать нового Фанбакета.

00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:49,848

- Что?

- Нельзя уменьшать людей.

00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:52,678

Но мы же не собирались убивать ее. Только немного перенастроили.

00:15:52,678 --> 00:15:53,978

У нас проблемы?

00:15:53,978 --> 00:15:57,228

Обсудим ваше наказание позже.

А сейчас зашейте ее и отпустите.

00:15:57,228 --> 00:16:02,068

Вашим наказанием станет тюрьма

до конца ваших дней.

00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:05,108

И поверьте, чудаковатым

инопланетянам в тюрьме

00:16:05,108 --> 00:16:07,238

придется несладко.

00:16:09,408 --> 00:16:11,578

Кому я там собиралась надрать задницу?

00:16:11,578 --> 00:16:14,408

- Продолжайте так делать, пока она не успокоится.

- Кто-то отправится в тюрьму.

00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,788

Кто-то... Я подсолнух.

00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:20,338

Да уж, от этого она и правда тупеет.

00:16:20,338 --> 00:16:22,498

Как только люди пьют эту гадость?

00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:25,628

Дела бы пошли быстрее,

будь у нас Mountain Dew.

00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:35,518

- Можешь ехать ровнее?

- Я пытаюсь, Терри.

00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:56,078

Я думаю, нам стоит избавить его от страданий.

00:16:56,078 --> 00:16:57,958

Это должен сделать я.

00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:00,288

Знаешь, Терри, сегодня

я усвоил один важный урок.

00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,458

Нельзя проецировать собственные

желания на других существ.

00:17:03,458 --> 00:17:05,208

- Вот блин, лови его.

- Блин блинский.

00:17:06,588 --> 00:17:08,468

Ты не виноват, Комбо-Фанбакет.

00:17:08,468 --> 00:17:10,178

Нам не следовало идти на поводу у эмоций.

00:17:10,468 --> 00:17:13,348

Все будет хорошо.

Перед тем, как вернуться в торговый центр,

ты отправишься

00:17:13,348 --> 00:17:15,428

в свое последнее путешествие.

- Торговый центр?

00:17:15,428 --> 00:17:16,478

Что? Я думал, мы его убьем.

00:17:16,478 --> 00:17:17,808

Думал, сбросим его с края.

00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:20,438

Ёлки-палки, Терри.

Видишь его, торговый центр?

00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:21,688

Вон там, внизу.

00:17:21,688 --> 00:17:23,318

Это самый человечный способ,

00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:25,398

чтобы попрощаться, мой милый друг.

00:17:25,398 --> 00:17:26,398

Все закончится через...

00:17:27,108 --> 00:17:29,948

35-58 секунд,

зависит от скорости ветра.

00:17:30,608 --> 00:17:33,328

- Стойте!

- Оставьте нас в покое, Тревис и Эйвери.

00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:34,948

Вы достаточно натворили.

- Не убивайте его.

00:17:34,948 --> 00:17:36,698

Мы любим его.

- Но ведь он монстр.

00:17:36,698 --> 00:17:39,958

Бро, нам плевать, как он выглядит и что он жестокий,

00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,038

или что он слился с другим Фанбакетом

00:17:42,038 --> 00:17:43,628

на молекуларном уровне.

00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,548

Он все еще Фанбакет.

00:17:45,548 --> 00:17:48,418

Давай же.

Мы поймаем тебя, братишка.

00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:59,728

Корво. Терри.

00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:02,058

Тише, тише.

Все в порядке, дружище.

00:18:05,898 --> 00:18:08,188

Тебе не кажется, что это мы

злодеи в этой ситуации?

00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,358

Мы же инопланетяне.

Наши пути неисповедимы.

00:18:10,358 --> 00:18:12,528

Стандарты человечества не для нас.

00:18:12,528 --> 00:18:14,988

А теперь давай валить отсюда,

пока нас не арестовали.

00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:16,618

Это что, детская больница?

00:18:16,618 --> 00:18:18,288

Мне кажется, они

не должны так взрываться.

00:18:18,288 --> 00:18:20,538

Они что, хранят там тонны

взрывоопасной жидкости?

00:18:20,538 --> 00:18:23,418

В детской больнице?

Неудивительно, что эти дети болеют.

00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:25,748

Кстати, когда вернемся домой,

выбрось эту мороженицу.

00:18:25,748 --> 00:18:27,458

Ты не замораживаешь в ней йогурт.

- Да Боже мой!

00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:29,588

Ты сидел и весь час думал об этом?

Вообще-то, я ей пользуюсь.

00:18:29,588 --> 00:18:30,718

Это в корне неверно.

00:18:31,548 --> 00:18:33,138

- Эй, вы!

- Что уже случилось?

00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:34,798

Я же вам говорил,

что не трогал компьютер.

00:18:34,798 --> 00:18:37,508

Я слежу за вами,

мерзкие маленькие инопланетяшки.

00:18:37,508 --> 00:18:39,308

Думаете, раз сегодня вы не сделали ничего плохого,

00:18:39,308 --> 00:18:42,058

то сможете избежать наказания?

Вы уже давно облажались.

00:18:42,058 --> 00:18:44,058

Я за вами слежу.

00:18:44,058 --> 00:18:46,438

Но мы ничего не сделали.

Почему вы всегда на нас злитесь?

00:18:48,438 --> 00:18:51,778

Я была маленькой,

а теперь я большая.

00:18:51,778 --> 00:18:53,108

Я намочила штанишки.

00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:54,658

Очень смешно.

00:18:54,658 --> 00:18:56,868

Лидия, ты супер.

00:18:56,868 --> 00:19:00,498

Каждый раз, когда я думаю, что знаю сленг,

вы, ребятишки, все меняете.

00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,908

Да уж, люди такие тупые.

00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,498

Думаю, мы никогда не попадемся.

00:19:03,498 --> 00:19:05,628

Что это значит? Попадетесь? На чем попадетесь?

00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:06,838

Ну, я хотел сказать...

00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:09,588

Вы что, ребят, сначала уменьшили эту девочку, а потом залезли ей в голову,

00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:10,878

чтобы замести следы?

00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:15,298

Вы что, полили ее мозг диетической Колой?

00:19:15,298 --> 00:19:18,258

Это ужасно. С вами нужно что-то делать.

00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,058

Вы не можете и дальше жить нормальной жизнью,

00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:21,558

не понеся никакого наказания.

00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:24,018

Нельзя делать вид, будто бы ничего не случилось.

00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:28,398

Мне кажется, те парни

действительно любят Фанбакета

00:19:28,398 --> 00:19:31,148

на более глубоком и чувственном уровне, чем смогли бы мы.

00:19:31,148 --> 00:19:32,938

Знаешь, мы могли бы пригласить их на вечер игр.

00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,858

- О, хрустящая корочка, как я люблю.

- Подожди-ка, KFC?

00:19:35,858 --> 00:19:38,778

- Разве мы не наказаны?

- Пускай мы и застряли в мире,

00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,908

находящемся на грани массового

вымирания и раздираемом особями,

00:19:41,908 --> 00:19:44,328

которые уничтожают окружающую среду,

но пока мы здесь

00:19:44,328 --> 00:19:48,708

дышим этим мерзким отравленным воздухом,

мы есть друг у друга,

00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,998

и вас не заменил бы и миллион Фанбакетов.

00:19:50,998 --> 00:19:53,258

- Что такое Фанбакет?

- С этого дня мы станем лучшими друзьями

00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,928

и пересмотрим все фильмы "Гарри Поттера".

00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:57,588

Я не это имел в виду.

Теперь мы все внимание будем уделять нашей миссии,

00:19:57,588 --> 00:20:00,848

но также мы станем семьей и бла-бла в том же духе.

00:20:00,848 --> 00:20:03,098

Мы можем носить одинаковые костюмы

и участвовать в дефиле.

00:20:03,098 --> 00:20:05,188

- Все, ничего не слышу.

- Два друга держатся за руки на улице.

00:20:05,188 --> 00:20:07,148

И все такие: "Вы что, любовники?"

Но нет, мы просто друзья.

00:20:07,148 --> 00:20:09,188

Кстати, что за миссия?

00:20:09,188 --> 00:20:11,898

О ней постоянно все говорят, а Корво бесится,

00:20:11,898 --> 00:20:13,818

но на самом деле никто толком ничего не знает.

00:20:13,818 --> 00:20:16,738

Когда Пупа достигнет зрелости,

он эволюционирует,

00:20:16,738 --> 00:20:19,568

а затем разрушит и заново построит эту планету

по подобию нашего мира,

00:20:19,568 --> 00:20:22,118

используя информацию, что

хранится в его ДНК. Ну и типа того.

00:20:22,118 --> 00:20:24,788

Да уж, похоже, у нашего Пупы очень важное задание.

00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,828

- Гадость

- Это омерзительно, Пупа.

00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:29,958

Перестань есть мисистиков.

Плохая Пупа.

00:20:31,588 --> 00:20:34,048

Ух, даже не верится, что

нам не влетело за сегодня.

00:20:34,048 --> 00:20:36,548

Корво был в ярости.

- Не стоило нам похищать ребенка.

00:20:36,548 --> 00:20:38,258

Если честно, не знаю,

о чем я тогда думал.

00:20:38,928 --> 00:20:43,308

С этого момента мы будем уменьшать только взрослых.

Всем плевать, когда пропадает какой-то болван.

00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,808

Спокойной ночи, уборщик.

Я сделала тебе футболку из салфетки.

00:20:46,808 --> 00:20:49,018

Если не подойдет по размеру,

я ее немного подрежу.

00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,470

Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo.

Work those blue arms.

00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,890

Stop undressing me with your eyes, Debbie.

I just want to work out here in peace.

00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,684

I'm not out here

for your sexual titillation.

00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,311

Hey, the replicants missed the bus.

Can you take them to school?

00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,563

- I got stuff to do.

- We didn't miss it.

00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,065

- They purposely skipped our house.

- I'm sure it was an accident.

00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,984

The bus driver hates us because

I tried to harvest

00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,236

one small tiny sample of her eye.

00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,280

Can we please go?

Homeroom is where I decide

00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,282

who I'm going to crush on for the day.

00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,576

- No, I'm busy.

- Oh, come on, Korvo. Don't be like that.

00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,327

You should be helping me

construct the Earth drill.

00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,788

I have to take the Pupa to the dog park.

We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.

00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,916

Oh, oh, is the dog park more important

than mining nickel alloys

00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,668

so we can repair our spaceship?

00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,836

Uh, I don't know, Korvo.

00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,422

Can nickel alloy

catch a Frisbee in the air?

00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,840

We won't know until we get some.

00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,800

You know, sometimes it feels like

I'm the only Shlorpion

00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,594

who wants to escape this garbage planet.

00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,596

Hey, hey, you're the one

who chose to land here.

00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,765

My scans didn't indicate it was

a human-infested crap hole

00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,850

without a single redeeming value, Terry.

00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:02,437

We have been stranded here for a year.

How is that not a problem for you?

00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,209

Come on, all right. Come to papo.

00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,294

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,554

Oh, you guys,

there was a shooting at the dog park,

00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,432

but you would never know 'cause these dogs

are just so happy, aren't they?

00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,227

Yeah, you like those little stumps?

You gonna lick 'em?

00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,480

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,190

Until the asteroid hit.

00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,944

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,654

and escaped into, uh, the space,

00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,740

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,993

We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,495

That's right,

I've been talking this whole time.

00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,413

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,874

This is-this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,334

This is ridiculous.

00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,086

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,337

And one of these days,

I'm gonna blow it up

00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,797

and just be done

with the whole stupid thing,

00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,006

I swear to God.

00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,392

Oh, look at those cute little feet.

00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,352

They're really growing in. Look at 'em go!

00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,728

- Don't look at them.

- I have the whole day planned out.

00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,439

We're gonna go buy lottery tickets,

we're gonna win a million dollars,

00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,943

but then, we give it all as a tip

to a waitress and totally change her life.

00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,529

You go, girlfriend.

Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,490

My plan is to sit in dim light,

spray nutrients on my stumps,

00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,827

so-until they grow out,

and I'll study repair manuals.

00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413

Korvotron, come on.

I know Earth is a little more

00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,707

inhabited with sentient life

than you expected,

00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,000

but it can still be fun.

00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,835

You just got to roll,

roll with the homies.

00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,421

I'm not gonna ever like it here.

Stop trying to cheer me up.

00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,089

I just-- let me grow my feet in peace.

00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,340

Whatever, Korvo.

00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,059

Huh.

00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,521

You ever get the feeling

people think we're weird?

00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:12,150

No, and as a scientist/bounty hunter,

I am extremely perceptive.

00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,403

E.T. sucks. Go back to Uranus.

00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,614

We're actually

not even from thisquadrant.

00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,075

I don't think we should

have to go to school with aliens

00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:24,037

who are probably gonna

zap us with their ray guns.

00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,247

Uh-uh-uh. Don't be racist.

We don't zap people.

00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,250

Are you filthy fucking aliens

fighting in the hallway?

00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,628

Principal Cooke's office, now.

00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,297

Who, who is this, uh, Funbucket character?

00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,673

- Why do you care?

- I was unaware

00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,342

of a second sentient species

on this planet.

00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,385

Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.

00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,304

Hm, I, I like that catchphrase.

00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,972

Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em.

00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,849

"Bingo bango" is the tip of the iceberg,

my friend.

00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,978

Oh, my. Funbucket appears to have

a healthy disdain for humans.

00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,231

Oh, yeah. One time he fed

magic beans to Mr. Shromer

00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,523

and it turned him into a bush.

00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,816

It turned him into a bush!

00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,068

Oh, he must have hated that.

00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,778

- Did he hate it?

- Oh, yeah, he was pissed.

00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,863

Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow

any rules, does he?

00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,574

It appears that he has a secret lab

in a little boy's basement.

00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,159

Yeah, they use it to solve

small mysteries.

00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,746

You know, simple math equations,

or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.

00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,916

This guy is fascinating.

I wish we lived near Funbucket.

00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,126

We could hang out and talk shit

about humans all day and night.

00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,254

Do science. You know,

Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.

00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,296

Don't you think, Terry?

00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,299

Bet he hates Earth and their stupid

monthly calendar as much as I do.

00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,884

Saturday, come on down

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,053

to the Gretchen-Darth Mall

for the annual mega sale.

00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:25,556

Deals in every store, and a chance to win

one of St. Peter's finger bones!

00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,394

With special appearances by Funbucket

and Rungo the Clown.

00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,561

Oh, Rungo's legit.

00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,272

He has orange hair

and his house is a boot.

00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,731

- I think he lives in Michigan.

- Wait.

00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,733

Funbucket is gonna be at our mall?

00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:36,859

We could meet him.

00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,111

Oh, dude,

you could compare notes with him.

00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,697

He could help us with the mission. Huh?

You like that M-word, don't you?

00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,115

We have to watch

all of these episodes, Terry.

00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,491

I need to learn everything

about Funbucket.

00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,326

Does he have a penis? Does he reproduce?

00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,245

I don't-I don't know, man.

I mean, it hasn't come up.

00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,038

Yeah, I mean,

I think he probably does have a penis.

00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,999

- It's probably huge.

- That's good, that's good, Terry.

00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,251

We have to know all this stuff

before we meet him at the mall.

00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,086

Well, what do you have

to say for yourselves?

00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,047

- About what?

- Someone broke into the computer lab

00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,591

and reprogrammed the iMacs

with artificial intelligence.

00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,094

I used to be a cop.

My name is Richard Michaels.

00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,722

This thing's been trying to

arrest everyone that uses it.

00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,807

You're just blaming us

because we're aliens.

00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,560

Everyone has access to those computers.

00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,728

Freeze, dirtbag.

00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,771

We found this stuck in the door.

00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,857

Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.

00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,483

- Why does that one look new?

- Uh...

00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,152

'cause I keep it in a glove.

00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,530

From now on, I want nothing

but perfect behavior from you two.

00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,408

No terraforming the gym

or making pod people

00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,452

or any of that Outer Limits bullshit.

00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,455

You act like regular kids,

or you will be expelled.

00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,583

Now get the fuck outta here!

00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:37,211

Oh, you should have their asses

on the street already.

00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,838

You need to sack up, Cooke.

00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:45,928

We'll get them soon enough, Ms. Frankie.

And then you'll see how powerful I am.

00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,263

Come here.

00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,601

I wish they would just treat us

like regular kids.

00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,520

Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.

00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:58,608

I'm gonna kick your ass.

Let me out of here!

00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,402

I cannot believe we are actually

going to meet Funbucket.

00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,321

Do my robes look okay, Terry?

00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,531

Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him

if he can breathe underwater.

00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867

I-I-I bet he can. Honestly, I just--

maybe I shouldn't.

00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,285

No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.

00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,661

Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed

00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,413

to learn there are other

non-humans on this planet.

00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,123

He will no longer

feel frustrated and alone.

00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,500

I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo.

00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,710

You think he's a Nintendo guy?

Oh, what if he's a Sega man?

00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,380

Do you think he has a mission, too?

Oh, oh, I bet he does.

00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,091

Do you think his fur is coarse and hard

or soft and silky?

00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,926

- Hm, odd.

- What, what?

00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,054

Funbucket is larger than he appears on TV.

00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,180

Yeah, he is.

00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,308

Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?

00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,935

- Ew!

- What the fuck is going on?

00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:36,312

There's a line.

You need to get back in line, sir-ah!

00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,481

It's just some kid.

What did you do with Funbucket?

00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,899

I demand to see Funbucket.

00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,318

Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.

00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,237

Yes he is. We watch him on TV.

00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,406

- It's a kids' show.

- A kids' show?

00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,619

Get out of here, go!

00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,330

Funbucket isn't real?

00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,873

Funbucket has to be real. He has to be.

00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,875

- TV lied to us. It lied.

- That's impossible.

00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,128

All of human history

is recorded on the TV.

00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,379

I don't even know what's real anymore.

00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,006

Are submarines real?

Are penguins real?

00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,301

I don't know, probably not.

Wait, the quantum injector.

00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,096

Is Friends real? Is Frasier real?

00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,932

If Frasier isn't real,

I'm going to kill myself!

00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,559

How can you even think of work right now?

00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,603

The quantum injector. Primarily used for

repairing organic emitters

00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,523

in the matter transfer array,

but with a few small adjustments--

00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191

We can make Funbucket real.

00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,528

We need Funbucket.

He could help us with the mission, Terry.

00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,571

He's a man of science.

00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,532

You saw the lab he had with that child

in the kid's basement.

00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,451

You saw the shit he was doing

in that one episode.

00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,744

We need him to be as real as possible.

00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:38,666

Every single little tiny smidgen

of adjustments will matter.

00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,048

Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.

00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,553

Funbucket, I'm Korvo and this is Terry,

and we are your new best friends.

00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,972

You guys aren't gonna

try to fuck me, are you?

00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,141

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,357

Bingo bango!

00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,083

You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.

00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,503

Retail therapy, baby.

00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,464

Hey, that's not your catchphrase.

Say bingo bango.

00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,842

- Uh, bingo bango.

- Oh, there it is.

00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,094

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Check out who's real.

00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,305

Just let me past, will you? Stop it.

00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:38,726

I think you might maybe owe

our very real friend an apology.

00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:43,064

- I'm sorry I thought you weren't real.

- Yeah, it's... okay.

00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,567

Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter

at Bloomie's.

00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,486

We can get you all done up

for the club tonight.

00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,779

I like how I look.

00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,656

Funbucket, this is not

gonna be a discussion.

00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:56,035

We want you to be dolled up and spruced up

so that the people are like, oh, damn.

00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,371

Who are these cool guys

at the club with a Funbucket?

00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,707

Look, make me big right now.

00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,293

I'm gonna beat you up really bad

but I promise I won't kill you.

00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379

Just do the maze.

You're screwing up my metrics.

00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,089

This is stupid.

Are you sure we aren't gonna

00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,049

get like, super duper

crazy trouble for this?

00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,801

Humans test lower species all the time.

00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,887

Let's just let her go in a field

so she can live with the animals.

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,848

And lose this data?

Do you even want to study humans?

00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,102

No! I want to eat lunch with friends

and see movies with boys.

00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,728

- Done!

- I forgot to time you.

00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398

- Do it again.

- Man, this is fuckin' stupid.

00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,275

I don't even know who you are anymore.

00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,735

You used to be so scientific.

Now you're just a jerk.

00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,697

Continued experimentation could reveal

why everyone is mean to us.

00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,365

I just want to chill at the mall.

00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,825

Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.

00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,037

A-ha, damn. Look at this place.

00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,414

It's Trim City!

00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,250

Ooh, they have

Channing Tatum's vodka.

00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,420

Oh, dude, dude, dude,

we should take Funbucket

00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,005

on a road trip and go to New York City

00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,257

and listen to podcasts

and Gaffigan albums the whole way.

00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,550

He's America's dad!

00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,802

Oh, that would be quite

the enjoyable experience.

00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,722

Perhaps we could all stop at some

fun roadside attractions along the way.

00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,557

Yes!

Hey, Korv.

00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,309

You think you're starting to

warm up to Earth a little?

00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,352

I must admit, with Funbucket around,

00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,980

repairing the ship has lost

a little bit of urgency.

00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,190

Oh, my God, you're gonna make me cry.

00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,068

Funbucket, we got your drink.

00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,614

We should circumnavigate the crowd.

00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,619

What up, my dudes?

Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.

00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,745

We're aliens.

00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,496

Make room at the table

so we may join you.

00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,123

You know these dipshits, fam?

00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,167

- No.

- Oh, he's just kidding around.

00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,294

- Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket.

- Take a hint, bro.

00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,213

- Funbucket's with us now.

- I-- wait, wait, I don't understand.

00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,300

- With? What do you mean?

- He means go fuck yourself, bro.

00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,552

I made Funbucket with a quantum injector.

00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,928

Okay, he belongs to us.

00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,349

Uh, I don't belong to anyone. I'm real.

00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,267

Oh, but-but surfing, Thailand.

00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,561

Travis and Avery are my friends now.

00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,980

They don't treat me

like some dumb TV sidekick.

00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,107

Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.

00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,692

This is ceremonial garb.

00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,611

That's it. Get 'em the fuck out of here.

00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,990

Later, dickholes.

00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,785

What the hell, Korvo? What the hell?

00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,453

- Who the hell were those guys?

- Look at me.

00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,205

I'm gooblering. I'm making gooblers.

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,374

Our bodies only make gooblers

during extreme distress.

00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,833

Oh, my God, I haven't goobled

00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,669

since they made us

shower together at the academy.

00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,797

According to the Urban Dictionary,

we've been "squinched."

00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,632

- It means we've been cut loose.

- Oh, man.

00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,300

Why do I feel like this? It hurts.

00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,260

Our bodies are not designed

for this emotional overload.

00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,221

There is a chance that

we will overheat and die.

00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,264

No, I-I can't die. I've got a bucket list.

00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,767

I haven't touched a dolphin

or been on The Price Is Right.

00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,936

I'm supposed to fall in love

on a train in India

00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,646

and maybe the woman's

a little bit older than me.

00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,107

We have to figure out

what those bros have that we don't.

00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,860

- They're just hanging out.

- That can't be right.

00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,237

I mean, we do that, too.

00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,365

Oh, fuck!

00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,910

What the hell? Are you stalking me?

00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,204

Oh, my God. Look at what they're wearing.

00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,707

Oh, shit, they tried to copy our outfits.

00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,583

How pathetic is that?

00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,210

We wear things like this all the time.

00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,129

Bro, get a clue.

Funbucket's done with you.

00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,005

Will you stop crying, you babies?

00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,465

You're a baby, idiot!

00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,885

Fuck you, Funbucket!

00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,098

Ooh!

00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,725

Bad Pupa. Drop it, drop it.

00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,018

Seriously, it smells really bad in there.

00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,188

I think it ate, like,

an old crabapple or something.

00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,816

Why can't things just be the way

they used to be?

00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,653

TV was real and Funbucket

liked us and wasn't a dick.

00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,365

Funbucket was too real.

Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.

00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,992

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,870

Make him love us, Korvo.

Give him all the bells and whistles.

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,081

Make it so he never leaves us.

00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:35,087

Who wants to go camping?!

00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,256

- No, we're going to the club.

- Put your sin in me.

00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,049

His catchphrases need work.

00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:39,967

They're fine.

00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,012

Y'all ready for bisque?

Good night, everybody.

00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,809

Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2,

you sure are an amazing dancer.

00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,061

I've come here to do two things.

00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,813

Oh.

00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,816

- Y'all ready for bisque?

- Hello.

00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,652

Nobody cares about your janky

knock-off Funbucket.

00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,322

You are just jealous.

Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.

00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,823

Uh, this thing is a freak.

00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,576

You're seriously embarrassing yourselves.

00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,995

What's happening? Oh, God.

00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,247

Unseen forces pulling us together.

00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,541

Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that.

Get away from our Funbucket.

00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,877

- The quantum injector. Oh.

- Help! Help!

00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,380

Maybe the- I think their flesh

matrixes are attempting to reconcile.

00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549

Y'all ready for bisque?

00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,890

No, no, no!

00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,238

Hey, uh, you guys do to-go cups?

00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,616

Great, could I get uh, just a couple

to-go cups for the road? Thanks.

00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,000

You don't think people are gonna

get mad at us for this, right?

00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,461

Terry, relax.

That could be anyone's mutant.

00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:02,049

Terry! Korvo!

00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,175

We should do something.

00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,635

Why do you need so many dolls?

00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,303

Why do you need so many ray guns?

00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,639

- Because we're aliens.

- It just seems excessive.

00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,850

Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.

00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,685

Her parents are pleading

for any information

00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,478

that leads to her safe return.

00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,313

Good luck with that.

00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,775

Lidia, it's Randy.

Stop fucking around and come home.

00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,569

God damn it, this is hard on me.

00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,445

I didn't think I'd miss you this much.

00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,739

Wow, my stepdad actually does care.

00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,700

Do we get a reward too,

or how does that work?

00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,369

Breaking news,

I am being told Funbucket is real--

00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,496

- Dang, girl, you gooblering.

- Uh, oh, no.

00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,540

Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.

00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,125

Yeah, well, what is it

with humans and their kids?

00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,836

- I thought they liked making them.

- What are we gonna do?

00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,714

This is a classic

"killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.

00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,757

Stalling is only gonna make it worse.

00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,594

Let me go and I'll tell them

to put you in a good prison.

00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,263

- We could dissolve her.

- I'll get the acid.

00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,641

- This is wrong.

- She's right.

00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,101

You should hit the side like ketchup.

00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,060

You can't just kill me.

00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:59,189

Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces

and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.

00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,484

It doesn't work like that!

Can you just wipe my brain?

00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,611

What's a brain?

00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,453

Wait, we can't park here.

There's street cleaning tomorrow.

00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375

Have you guys seen the shrink ray?

00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,794

It's usually in the cupboard

with the ice cream maker we never use.

00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,796

Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt.

00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,423

This is so embarrassing.

00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,425

Why are you dissecting your classmate?

00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,636

Despite having been examined

by countless scientists

00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,138

over hundreds of years,

the human brain is still a mystery.

00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,015

Plus, she was mean to us at school.

00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,559

Everyone is mean to them.

I didn't invent it.

00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,728

School sucks, okay? We don't like it.

00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,022

It doesn't matter if you like it.

We're on a mission.

00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,025

When things don't go your way,

you can't just give in to emotion

00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,320

and do whatever you want

like make a new Funbucket.

00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,823

- What?

- Uh, you can't shrink people.

00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,743

We weren't gonna kill her.

We were just reprogramming her a little.

00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,121

- Are we in trouble?

- We will discuss your grounding later.

00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,706

Sew her up and let her go.

00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:02,044

Your grounding is going to be prison

for the rest of your lives.

00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,172

And let me tell you,

being a weird alien in jail

00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,299

is not going to be pretty.

00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,553

Whose ass was I gonna kick again?

00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,138

Just keep doing that until she's cool.

00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,515

Someone's going to prison.

00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,768

Someone's-I'm a sunflower.

00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,396

Wow, it really is making her dumber.

00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,690

I can't believe humans drink this stuff.

00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,609

This would be going a lot faster

if we had some Mountain Dew.

00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,536

- Uh, will you drive straight?

- The effort is already being made, Terry.

00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,140

I guess we should, uh,

put it out of its misery.

00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,017

No, I should.

00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,686

You know, Terry, I've learned

an important lesson today.

00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,522

You can't project your own wants

and desires on other creatures--

00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,274

- Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it.

- Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.

00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,360

This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.

00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,237

We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.

00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,490

It's gonna be okay.

We're gonna have one last great adventure

00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,492

- before you go live at the mall.

- The mall?

00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,702

What? I thought we were gonna kill him.

00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,162

I thought we were gonna

throw him off the edge.

00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,665

God damn it, Terry. See it, the mall?

All the way down there?

00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,417

This was the most humane way

I could think of

00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,461

- to end our time together, little friend.

00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,087

It will all be over in...

00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:30,549

between 35 and 58 seconds,

depending on wind.

00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:31,633

Stop.

00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,385

Leave us alone, Travis and Avery.

00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,012

- You've done enough.

- Don't kill him.

00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,680

- We love him.

- But he's a monster.

00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:40,017

Bro, we don't care

what he looks like or if he's violent

00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,102

or if he's been combined

with another Funbucket

00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,604

on a molecular level, bro.

00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,522

He's still Funbucket.

00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,525

Just, just do it.

We'll catch you, broheim.

00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,787

Korvo. Terry.

00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,706

Shh, shh, shh.

It's okay, buddy. It's okay.

00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,253

Do you feel like

maybe we're the bad people in all this?

00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,466

We're aliens. Our ways are mysterious.

We can't be judged by human standards.

00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,010

Now let's get out of here

before we get arrested for all this shit.

00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,678

Is that the children's hospital?

00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,430

Man, you don't really think of them

blowing up like that.

00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,599

I mean, what, are they storing

giant tanks of flammable liquid?

00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,435

In a children's hospital?

No wonder all these kids are getting sick.

00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,854

By the way, when we get home,

you're throwing out that ice cream maker.

00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,523

- You do not use it for yogurt.

- Oh, my God.

00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,732

Have you been sitting on that for an hour?

00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,776

- I do too use it.

- That is the opposite of true.

00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,195

- Hey.

- Oh, my God, what?

00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,863

I told you, I didn't touch the computers.

00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,491

I'm watching you,

you creepy little fucking aliens.

00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,409

You think just 'cause you didn't

do anything bad today

00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,204

you're gonna get away with it?

Oh, you are on fucking blast.

00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,039

I've got my eyes on you.

00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,375

We didn't do anything.

Why are you always mad at us? I--

00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:53,048

I used to be small, but now, I am big.

I'm peeing my pants.

00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,716

So funny.

00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,927

You're the best, Lidia.

00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,556

Every time I think I know the slang

you kids use, you switch it up.

00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,057

Wow, humans are dumb.

00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,559

I guess we're never

gonna get busted on anything.

00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,686

What does that mean?

Busted? Busted on what?

00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,895

Uh, I-I mean...

00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,689

Did you guys shrink this girl down

00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,941

and then lobotomize her

to cover your tracks?

00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,192

Uh...

00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:16,530

Did you dump Diet Coke

in her exposed brain? That's horrible.

00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,323

Something has to be done about you two.

00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,618

You can't just go about your regular lives

without some sort of punishment.

00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,079

Things cannot go on

as if nothing happened.

00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,540

You know what, Terry?

00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,458

I think those bros

really did love Funbucket

00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,128

in a much more deeper

and sensual way than we ever could.

00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,088

You know, we should invite

them over for a game night.

00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:37,259

- Ooh, extra crispy, my favorite.

- Wait, KFC? Are we not in trouble?

00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,804

We may be trapped on this world

that's on the brink of mass extinction

00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,223

plagued by a species

that destroys the environment,

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,436

but while we're here,

breathing in the disgusting poison air,

00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,854

at least we have each other.

00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,981

I could not replace you

with a million Funbuckets.

00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,150

- What's a Funbucket?

- From now on, we're gonna be best friends

00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,693

and we can watch

all the Harry Potter movies back to back.

00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,069

That's not what I meant.

00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,156

Look, from now on, we focus on the mission

but we also be a family

00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,657

and all that kind of shit

and do that stuff.

00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,201

And we can wear matching costumes

00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,911

- and compete in fashion shows--

- No, no, I'm covering my ears.

00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,495

Just two friends

holding hands down the street.

00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,414

Everyone's like, are, are they lovers?

No, we're friends.

00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,249

What is the mission, anyway?

00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,960

It gets brought up all the time

and Korvo's always pissed,

00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,879

but nobody's real clear about it.

00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,673

When the Pupa reaches maturity,

it'll evolve into its true form.

00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,425

One that'll destroy and rebuild the planet

00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,011

in the image of the home world

using data stored in its DNA.

00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,429

- That kind of stuff.

- Wow!

00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,890

Seems like a pretty important job

to put Pupa--

00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,768

- Gross.

- That's sick, Pupa.

00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,103

Don't eat the gooblers. Bad Pupa.

00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,107

Wow, I can't believe we didn't

get in trouble today.

00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,610

- Korvo was pissed.

- We never should have kidnapped a kid.

00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,403

Honestly, I don't know

what I was thinking.

00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:43,283

From now on, we only shrink adults.

No one cares when some jerk goes missing.

00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,787

Good night, Mr. Janitor.

I made you an outfit out of Kleenex.

00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,456

If it doesn't fit,

just rip it a little bit.

00:01:34,573 --> 00:01:42,205

ХРЕНОВЫЙ КОНЕЦ

00:01:58,513 --> 00:02:11,985

ПРОДАНО

00:02:25,832 --> 00:02:40,805

{\an8}ХРЕНОВЫЙ КОНЕЦ

00:02:54,486 --> 00:02:56,196

ГОЛОВАСТИК ФАНБАКЕТ

00:02:56,738 --> 00:02:57,781

В КАКОЕ ВРЕМЯ ОТПРАВИМСЯ СЕГОДНЯ?

00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,289

{\an8}ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА

00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,289

ПРИНЕСИТЕ ФОТО ДЛЯ АЛЬБОМА

КО ВТОРНИКУ. НИКАКОЙ ОБНАЖЁНКИ!

00:05:58,628 --> 00:05:59,921

ТОРГОВЫЙ ЦЕНТР ГРЕТХЕН-ДАРТ

00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:06,798

{\an8}Я ПЕРЕЖИЛ ЭТИ ГОРКИ

00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,221

КЛУБ "ЛОЩЁННЫЙ ГОРОД"

00:12:13,502 --> 00:12:14,753

САМОЛИКВИДАЦИЯ АКТИВИРОВАНА

00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:15,588

САМОЛИКВИДАЦИЯ ОТМЕНЕНА

00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:17,256

АКТИВИРОВАНА

00:12:17,256 --> 00:12:18,007

ОТМЕНЕНА

00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:23,424

{\an8}СРОЧНО: ПРОПАЛА МЕСТНАЯ ДЕВОЧКА

00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:22,292

КОКА-КОЛА

00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:31,755

{\an8}ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА

00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:31,755

ПРИНЕСИТЕ ФОТО ДЛЯ АЛЬБОМА

КО ВТОРНИКУ. НИКАКОЙ ОБНАЖЁНКИ!

00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:37,469

КАССА

00:21:36,022 --> 00:21:40,985

СВЕТЛОЙ ПАМЯТИ ДЖОЭЛА МАЙКЛА МЕНДЕЛА

00:05:58,623 --> 00:05:59,953

Торговый центр Гретхен Дарт

00:12:13,493 --> 00:12:14,753

Самоуничтожение АКТИВИРОВАНО

00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:16,123

Самоуничтожение ОТМЕНЕНО

00:12:16,123 --> 00:12:17,253

Самоуничтожение АКТИВИРОВАНО

00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,333

Самоуничтожение ОТМЕНЕНО

00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:23,463

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