Вопрос переносной материи
Описание
Корво смотрит по телевидению детское шоу про инопланетянина Фанбакета, который живёт в подвале у некоего мальчика и разрешает различные загадки. Из рекламы по телевизору Корво узнаёт, что Фанбакет будет выступать у них в торговом центре. Он решает отправиться туда, чтобы познакомиться с ним, ведь он тоже инопланетянин и возможно он поможет восстановить космический корабль. В торговом центре Корво с удивлением узнаёт, что никакого Фанбакета на самом деле не существует. Используя инопланетные технологии, Корво создаёт своего собственного Фанбакета, который, однако, находит себе новых друзей и сбегает. Корво создаёт ещё одного Фанбакета, которого специально делает чуть туповатым. Когда эти два Фанбакета встречаются вместе, они неожиданно сливаются в одно гигантское мутировавшее существо, которое удаётся победить только при помощи уменьшающего луча. Тем временем Юмьюлак и Джесси вынуждены посещать школу, где их дразнят сверстники и терроризируют преподаватели. Они уменьшают хулиганку Лидию, чтобы провести над ней свои опыты. После её обратно увеличивают, предварительно полив её мозги газировкой, чтобы девочка всё забыла.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,047 (laser crackling)
- 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,133 Damn it. Stupid thing, come on.
- 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,470 Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo. Work those blue arms.
- 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,890 Stop undressing me with your eyes, Debbie. I just want to work out here in peace.
- 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,684 I'm not out here for your sexual titillation.
- 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,311 Hey, the replicants missed the bus. Can you take them to school?
- 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,563 - I got stuff to do. - We didn't miss it.
- 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,065 - They purposely skipped our house. - I'm sure it was an accident.
- 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,984 The bus driver hates us because I tried to harvest
- 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,236 one small tiny sample of her eye.
- 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,280 Can we please go? Homeroom is where I decide
- 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,282 who I'm going to crush on for the day.
- 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,576 - No, I'm busy. - Oh, come on, Korvo. Don't be like that.
- 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,327 You should be helping me construct the Earth drill.
- 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,788 I have to take the Pupa to the dog park. We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.
- 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,916 Oh, oh, is the dog park more important than mining nickel alloys
- 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,668 so we can repair our spaceship?
- 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,836 Uh, I don't know, Korvo.
- 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,422 Can nickel alloy catch a Frisbee in the air?
- 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,840 We won't know until we get some.
- 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,800 You know, sometimes it feels like I'm the only Shlorpion
- 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,594 who wants to escape this garbage planet.
- 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,596 Hey, hey, you're the one who chose to land here.
- 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,765 My scans didn't indicate it was a human-infested crap hole
- 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,850 without a single redeeming value, Terry.
- 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:02,437 We have been stranded here for a year. How is that not a problem for you?
- 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,900 (rumbling)
- 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,235 (screaming)
- 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,945 (people screaming)
- 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,199 (alarm blaring)
- 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,913 (ominous music playing)
- 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,209 Come on, all right. Come to papo.
- 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,294 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,047 (yells)
- 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,300 (yells)
- 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,052 (barking)
- 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,554 Oh, you guys, there was a shooting at the dog park,
- 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,432 but you would never know 'cause these dogs are just so happy, aren't they?
- 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,227 Yeah, you like those little stumps? You gonna lick 'em?
- 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,480 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.</i>
- 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,190 <i>Until the asteroid hit.</i>
- 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,944 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
- 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,654 <i>and escaped into, uh, the space,</i>
- 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,740 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
- 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,993 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
- 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,495 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
- 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,413 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
- 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,874 <i>This is-this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?</i>
- 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,334 (stammers) <i>This is ridiculous.</i>
- 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,086 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.</i>
- 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,337 <i>And one of these days, I'm gonna blow it up</i>
- 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,797 <i>and just be done with the whole stupid thing,</i>
- 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,006 <i>I swear to God.</i>
- 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,925 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,553 <i>♪</i>
- 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,392 -(Pupa coos) - Oh, look at those cute little feet.
- 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,352 They're really growing in. Look at 'em go!
- 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,728 - Don't look at them. - I have the whole day planned out.
- 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,439 We're gonna go buy lottery tickets, we're gonna win a million dollars,
- 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,943 but then, we give it all as a tip to a waitress and totally change her life.
- 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,529 You go, girlfriend. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.
- 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,490 My plan is to sit in dim light, spray nutrients on my stumps,
- 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,827 so-until they grow out, and I'll study repair manuals.
- 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413 Korvotron, come on. I know Earth is a little more
- 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,707 inhabited with sentient life than you expected,
- 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,000 but it can still be fun.
- 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,835 You just got to roll, roll with the homies.
- 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,421 I'm not gonna ever like it here. Stop trying to cheer me up.
- 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,089 I just-- let me grow my feet in peace.
- 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,340 Whatever, Korvo.
- 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,718 (upbeat music playing)
- 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,053 ♪
- 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,641 (grunts)
- 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,059 Huh.
- 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,311 (bell rings)
- 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,521 You ever get the feeling people think we're weird?
- 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:12,150 No, and as a scientist/bounty hunter, I am extremely perceptive.
- 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,403 -(groans) - E.T. sucks. Go back to Uranus.
- 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,614 We're actually not even from thisquadrant.
- 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,531 (grunts)
- 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,075 I don't think we should have to go to school with aliens
- 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:24,037 who are probably gonna zap us with their ray guns.
- 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,247 Uh-uh-uh. Don't be racist. We don't zap people.
- 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,250 Are you filthy fucking aliens fighting in the hallway?
- 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,628 Principal Cooke's office, now.
- 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,297 Who, who is this, uh, Funbucket character?
- 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,673 - Why do you care? - I was unaware
- 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,342 of a second sentient species on this planet.
- 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,385 <i>Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.</i>
- 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,304 - Hm, I, I like that catchphrase. -(Pupa grunting)
- 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,972 Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em.
- 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,849 "Bingo bango" is the tip of the iceberg, my friend.
- 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:45,767 (Korvo laughs)
- 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,978 KORVO: Oh, my. Funbucket appears to have a healthy disdain for humans.
- 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,231 Oh, yeah. One time he fed magic beans to Mr. Shromer
- 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,523 and it turned him into a bush.
- 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,816 - It turned him into a bush! -(Pupa exclaiming)
- 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,068 Oh, he must have hated that.
- 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,778 - Did he hate it? - Oh, yeah, he was pissed.
- 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,863 Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow any rules, does he?
- 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,574 It appears that he has a secret lab in a little boy's basement.
- 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,159 Yeah, they use it to solve small mysteries.
- 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,746 You know, simple math equations, or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.
- 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,916 This guy is fascinating. I wish we lived near Funbucket.
- 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,126 We could hang out and talk shit about humans all day and night.
- 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,254 Do science. You know, Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.
- 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,296 Don't you think, Terry?
- 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,299 Bet he hates Earth and their stupid monthly calendar as much as I do.
- 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,884 ANNOUNCER (on TV): <i>Saturday, come on down</i>
- 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,053 <i>to the Gretchen-Darth Mall for the annual mega sale.</i>
- 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:25,556 <i>Deals in every store, and a chance to win one of St. Peter's finger bones!</i>
- 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,394 <i>With special appearances by Funbucket and Rungo the Clown.</i>
- 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,561 Oh, Rungo's legit.
- 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,272 He has orange hair and his house is a boot.
- 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,731 - I think he lives in Michigan. - Wait.
- 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,733 - Funbucket is gonna be at our mall? -(Pupa exclaims, grunts)
- 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:36,859 We could meet him.
- 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,111 Oh, dude, you could compare notes with him.
- 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,697 He could help us with the mission. Huh? You like that M-word, don't you?
- 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,115 We have to watch all of these episodes, Terry.
- 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,491 I need to learn everything about Funbucket.
- 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,326 Does he have a penis? Does he reproduce?
- 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,245 I don't-I don't know, man. I mean, it hasn't come up.
- 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,038 Yeah, I mean, I think he probably does have a penis.
- 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,999 - It's probably huge. - That's good, that's good, Terry.
- 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,251 We have to know all this stuff before we meet him at the mall.
- 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,086 Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?
- 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,047 - About what? - Someone broke into the computer lab
- 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,591 and reprogrammed the iMacs with artificial intelligence.
- 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,094 iMAC: <i>I used to be a cop. My name is Richard Michaels.</i>
- 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,722 This thing's been trying to arrest everyone that uses it.
- 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,807 You're just blaming us because we're aliens.
- 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,560 Everyone has access to those computers.
- 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,728 iMAC: <i>Freeze, dirtbag.</i>
- 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,771 We found this stuck in the door.
- 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,857 Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.
- 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,483 - Why does that one look new? - Uh...
- 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,152 'cause I keep it in a glove.
- 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,530 From now on, I want nothing but perfect behavior from you two.
- 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,408 No terraforming the gym or making pod people
- 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,452 or any of that <i>Outer Limits</i> bullshit.
- 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,455 You act like regular kids, or you will be expelled.
- 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,583 Now get the fuck outta here!
- 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,709 (door closes)
- 00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:37,211 Oh, you should have their asses on the street already.
- 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,838 You need to sack up, Cooke.
- 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:45,928 We'll get them soon enough, Ms. Frankie. And then you'll see how powerful I am.
- 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,263 MS. FRANKIE: Come here.
- 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,806 (grunting)
- 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,601 I wish they would just treat us like regular kids.
- 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,520 (scoffs) Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.
- 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:58,608 I'm gonna kick your ass. Let me out of here!
- 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,402 I cannot believe we are actually going to meet Funbucket.
- 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,321 (stammers) Do my robes look okay, Terry?
- 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,531 Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him if he can breathe underwater.
- 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867 I-I-I bet he can. Honestly, I just-- maybe I shouldn't.
- 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,285 No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.
- 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,661 Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed
- 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,413 to learn there are other non-humans on this planet.
- 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,123 He will no longer feel frustrated and alone.
- 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,500 I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo.
- 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,710 You think he's a Nintendo guy? Oh, what if he's a Sega man?
- 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,380 Do you think he has a mission, too? Oh, oh, I bet he does.
- 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,091 Do you think his fur is coarse and hard or soft and silky?
- 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,926 - Hm, odd. - What, what?
- 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,054 Funbucket is larger than he appears on TV.
- 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,180 Yeah, he is.
- 00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,308 Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?
- 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,935 - Ew! - What the fuck is going on?
- 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:36,312 There's a line. You need to get back in line, sir-ah!
- 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,481 It's just some kid. What did you do with Funbucket?
- 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,899 I demand to see Funbucket.
- 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,318 Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.
- 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,237 Yes he is. We watch him on TV.
- 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,406 - It's a kids' show. - A kids' show?
- 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,533 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,368 <i>♪</i>
- 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,619 Get out of here, go!
- 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,330 Funbucket isn't real?
- 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,873 Funbucket has to be real. He has to be.
- 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,875 - TV lied to us. It lied. - That's impossible.
- 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,128 All of human history is recorded on the TV.
- 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,379 I don't even know what's real anymore.
- 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,006 Are submarines real? Are penguins real?
- 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,301 I don't know, probably not. Wait, the quantum injector.
- 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,096 Is <i>Friends</i> real? Is <i>Frasier</i> real?
- 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,932 If <i>Frasier</i> isn't real, I'm going to kill myself!
- 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,559 How can you even think of work right now?
- 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,603 The quantum injector. Primarily used for repairing organic emitters
- 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,523 in the matter transfer array, but with a few small adjustments--
- 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191 We can make Funbucket real.
- 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,528 We need Funbucket. He could help us with the mission, Terry.
- 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,571 He's a man of science.
- 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,532 You saw the lab he had with that child in the kid's basement.
- 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,451 You saw the shit he was doing in that one episode.
- 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,744 We need him to be as real as possible.
- 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:38,666 Every single little tiny smidgen of adjustments will matter.
- 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,751 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,253 (rumbling, hissing)
- 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,671 (beeps)
- 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,048 Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.
- 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,553 Funbucket, I'm Korvo and this is Terry, and we are your new best friends.
- 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,972 You guys aren't gonna try to fuck me, are you?
- 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,141 BOTH: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,769 (smooth music playing)
- 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,981 <i>♪</i>
- 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,357 Bingo bango!
- 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,734 (screaming)
- 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:06,819 (shutter snaps)
- 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,571 -(monstrous roaring) -(all scream)
- 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,739 (Pupa giggles)
- 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,283 <i>♪</i>
- 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,083 You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.
- 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,503 Retail therapy, baby.
- 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,464 Hey, that's not your catchphrase. Say bingo bango.
- 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,842 - Uh, bingo bango. - Oh, there it is.
- 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,094 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Check out who's real.
- 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,305 Just let me past, will you? Stop it.
- 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:38,726 I think you might maybe owe our very real friend an apology.
- 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:43,064 - I'm sorry I thought you weren't real. - Yeah, it's... okay.
- 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,482 -(Terry grunts) -(laughter)
- 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,567 Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter at Bloomie's.
- 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,486 We can get you all done up for the club tonight.
- 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,779 I like how I look.
- 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,656 Funbucket, this is not gonna be a discussion.
- 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:56,035 We want you to be dolled up and spruced up so that the people are like, oh, damn.
- 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,371 Who are these cool guys at the club with a Funbucket?
- 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,707 Look, make me big right now.
- 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,293 I'm gonna beat you up really bad but I promise I won't kill you.
- 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379 Just do the maze. You're screwing up my metrics.
- 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,089 This is stupid. Are you sure we aren't gonna
- 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,049 get like, super duper crazy trouble for this?
- 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,801 - Humans test lower species all the time. -(Lidia panting)
- 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,887 Let's just let her go in a field so she can live with the animals.
- 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,848 And lose this data? Do you even want to study humans?
- 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,102 No! I want to eat lunch with friends and see movies with boys.
- 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,728 - Done! - I forgot to time you.
- 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398 - Do it again. - Man, this is fuckin' stupid.
- 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,275 I don't even know who you are anymore.
- 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,735 You used to be so scientific. Now you're just a jerk.
- 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,697 Continued experimentation could reveal why everyone is mean to us.
- 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,365 I just want to chill at the mall.
- 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,825 Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.
- 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,243 (dance music playing)
- 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,037 A-ha, damn. Look at this place.
- 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,414 It's Trim City!
- 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,250 TERRY: Ooh, they have Channing Tatum's vodka.
- 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,420 Oh, dude, dude, dude, we should take Funbucket
- 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,005 on a road trip and go to New York City
- 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,257 and listen to podcasts and Gaffigan albums the whole way.
- 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,550 He's America's dad!
- 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,802 Oh, that would be quite the enjoyable experience.
- 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,722 Perhaps we could all stop at some fun roadside attractions along the way.
- 00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,557 Yes! Hey, Korv.
- 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,309 You think you're starting to warm up to Earth a little?
- 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,352 I must admit, with Funbucket around,
- 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,980 repairing the ship has lost a little bit of urgency.
- 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,190 Oh, my God, you're gonna make me cry.
- 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,068 Funbucket, we got your drink.
- 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,614 We should circumnavigate the crowd.
- 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,619 What up, my dudes? Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.
- 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,745 We're aliens.
- 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,496 Make room at the table so we may join you.
- 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,123 You know these dipshits, fam?
- 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,167 - No. - Oh, he's just kidding around.
- 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,294 - Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket. - Take a hint, bro.
- 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,213 - Funbucket's with us now. - I-- wait, wait, I don't understand.
- 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,300 - With? What do you mean? - He means go fuck yourself, bro.
- 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,552 I made Funbucket with a quantum injector.
- 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,928 Okay, he belongs to us.
- 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,349 Uh, I don't belong to anyone. I'm real.
- 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,267 Oh, but-but surfing, Thailand.
- 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,561 Travis and Avery are my friends now.
- 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,980 They don't treat me like some dumb TV sidekick.
- 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,107 Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.
- 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,692 This is ceremonial garb.
- 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,611 That's it. Get 'em the fuck out of here.
- 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:54,904 (glass shatters)
- 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,238 (laughter)
- 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,990 Later, dickholes.
- 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,785 What the hell, Korvo? What the hell?
- 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,453 - Who the hell were those guys? - Look at me.
- 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,205 I'm gooblering. I'm making gooblers.
- 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,374 KORVO: Our bodies only make gooblers during extreme distress.
- 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,833 Oh, my God, I haven't goobled
- 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,669 since they made us shower together at the academy.
- 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,797 According to the Urban Dictionary, we've been "squinched."
- 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,632 - It means we've been cut loose. - Oh, man.
- 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,300 Why do I feel like this? It hurts.
- 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,260 Our bodies are not designed for this emotional overload.
- 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,221 There is a chance that we will overheat and die.
- 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,264 No, I-I can't die. I've got a bucket list.
- 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,767 I haven't touched a dolphin or been on <i>The Price Is Right.</i>
- 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,936 I'm supposed to fall in love on a train in India
- 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,646 and maybe the woman's a little bit older than me.
- 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,107 We have to figure out what those bros have that we don't.
- 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,900 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,860 - They're just hanging out. - That can't be right.
- 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,237 I mean, we do that, too.
- 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,365 Oh, fuck!
- 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,910 What the hell? Are you stalking me?
- 00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,204 Oh, my God. Look at what they're wearing.
- 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,707 Oh, shit, they tried to copy our outfits.
- 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,583 - How pathetic is that? -(Avery laughs)
- 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,210 We wear things like this all the time.
- 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,129 Bro, get a clue. Funbucket's done with you.
- 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,005 Will you stop crying, you babies?
- 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,465 You're a baby, idiot!
- 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,885 Fuck you, Funbucket!
- 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:01,679 (Lidia grunting)
- 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,098 - PUPA: Ooh! -(groaning)
- 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,725 Bad Pupa. Drop it, drop it.
- 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,018 Seriously, it smells really bad in there.
- 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,188 I think it ate, like, an old crabapple or something.
- 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,816 Why can't things just be the way they used to be?
- 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,653 TV was real and Funbucket liked us and wasn't a dick.
- 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,365 Funbucket was too real. Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.
- 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,992 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,870 Make him love us, Korvo. Give him all the bells and whistles.
- 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,081 - Make it so he never leaves us. -(beeping, whirring)
- 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:35,087 Who wants to go camping?!
- 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,256 - No, we're going to the club. - Put your sin in me.
- 00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,049 -(retches) - His catchphrases need work.
- 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:39,967 They're fine.
- 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,012 Y'all ready for bisque? Good night, everybody.
- 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,809 Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2, you sure are an amazing dancer.
- 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,061 I've come here to do two things.
- 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,813 (grunts) Oh.
- 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,816 - Y'all ready for bisque? - Hello.
- 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,652 Nobody cares about your janky knock-off Funbucket.
- 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,322 You are just jealous. Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.
- 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,823 Uh, this thing is a freak.
- 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,576 You're seriously embarrassing yourselves.
- 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,995 What's happening? Oh, God.
- 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,247 Unseen forces pulling us together.
- 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,541 Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that. Get away from our Funbucket.
- 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,877 - The quantum injector. Oh. - Help! Help!
- 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,380 KORVO: Maybe the- I think their flesh matrixes are attempting to reconcile.
- 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549 Y'all ready for bisque?
- 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,927 (roars)
- 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,890 No, no, no!
- 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,477 (screaming)
- 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,522 (roars)
- 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,238 Hey, uh, you guys do to-go cups?
- 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,616 Great, could I get uh, just a couple to-go cups for the road? Thanks.
- 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,577 (roars)
- 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,412 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,623 <i>♪</i>
- 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,000 You don't think people are gonna get mad at us for this, right?
- 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,461 Terry, relax. That could be anyone's mutant.
- 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:02,049 Terry! (groans) Korvo!
- 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,175 We should do something.
- 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,635 Why do you need so many dolls?
- 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,303 Why do you need so many ray guns?
- 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,639 - Because we're aliens. - It just seems excessive.
- 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,850 <i>Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.</i>
- 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,685 <i>Her parents are pleading for any information</i>
- 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,478 <i>that leads to her safe return.</i>
- 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,313 <i>(chuckles) Good luck with that.</i>
- 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,775 <i>Lidia, it's Randy. Stop fucking around and come home.</i>
- 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,569 <i>God damn it, this is hard on me.</i>
- 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,445 <i>I didn't think I'd miss you this much.</i>
- 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,739 LIDIA: Wow, my stepdad actually does care.
- 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,700 <i>Do we get a reward too, or how does that work?</i>
- 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,369 <i>Breaking news, I am being told Funbucket is real--</i>
- 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,496 - Dang, girl, you gooblering. - Uh, oh, no.
- 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,540 Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.
- 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,125 Yeah, well, what is it with humans and their kids?
- 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,836 - I thought they liked making them. - What are we gonna do?
- 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,714 This is a classic "killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.
- 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,757 Stalling is only gonna make it worse.
- 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,594 Let me go and I'll tell them to put you in a good prison.
- 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,263 - We could dissolve her. - I'll get the acid.
- 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,641 - This is wrong. - She's right.
- 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,101 You should hit the side like ketchup.
- 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,060 You can't just kill me.
- 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:59,189 Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.
- 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,484 It doesn't work like that! Can you just wipe my brain?
- 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,611 What's a brain?
- 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,821 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,908 <i>♪</i>
- 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,453 Wait, we can't park here. There's street cleaning tomorrow.
- 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375 Have you guys seen the shrink ray?
- 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,794 It's usually in the cupboard with the ice cream maker we never use.
- 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,796 - Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt. -(scoffs)
- 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,423 This is so embarrassing.
- 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,425 Why are you dissecting your classmate?
- 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,636 Despite having been examined by countless scientists
- 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,138 over hundreds of years, the human brain is still a mystery.
- 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,015 Plus, she was mean to us at school.
- 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,559 Everyone is mean to them. I didn't invent it.
- 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,728 School sucks, okay? We don't like it.
- 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,022 It doesn't matter if you like it. We're on a mission.
- 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,025 When things don't go your way, you can't just give in to emotion
- 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,320 and do whatever you want like make a new Funbucket.
- 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,823 - What? - Uh, you can't shrink people.
- 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,743 We weren't gonna kill her. We were just reprogramming her a little.
- 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,121 - Are we in trouble? - We will discuss your grounding later.
- 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,706 Sew her up and let her go.
- 00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:02,044 Your grounding is going to be prison for the rest of your lives.
- 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,172 And let me tell you, being a weird alien in jail
- 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,299 is not going to be pretty.
- 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,385 (groans)
- 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,553 Whose ass was I gonna kick again?
- 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,138 Just keep doing that until she's cool.
- 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,515 Someone's going to prison.
- 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,516 (groans)
- 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,768 Someone's-I'm a sunflower.
- 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,396 Wow, it really is making her dumber.
- 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,690 I can't believe humans drink this stuff.
- 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,609 This would be going a lot faster if we had some Mountain Dew.
- 00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,820 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,864 <i>♪</i>
- 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,536 - Uh, will you drive straight? - The effort is already being made, Terry.
- 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,422 (tiny horn honks)
- 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,804 (weak growling)
- 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,140 I guess we should, uh, put it out of its misery.
- 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,017 (groans) No, I should.
- 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,686 You know, Terry, I've learned an important lesson today.
- 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,522 You can't project your own wants and desires on other creatures--
- 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,274 - Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it. - Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.
- 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,360 KORVO: This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.
- 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,237 We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.
- 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,490 It's gonna be okay. We're gonna have one last great adventure
- 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,492 - before you go live at the mall. - The mall?
- 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,702 What? I thought we were gonna kill him.
- 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,162 I thought we were gonna throw him off the edge.
- 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,665 God damn it, Terry. See it, the mall? All the way down there?
- 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,417 This was the most humane way I could think of
- 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,461 - to end our time together, little friend. -(weak screech)
- 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,087 It will all be over in...
- 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:30,549 between 35 and 58 seconds, depending on wind.
- 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:31,633 TRAVIS: Stop.
- 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,385 Leave us alone, Travis and Avery.
- 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,012 - You've done enough. - Don't kill him.
- 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,680 - We love him. - But he's a monster.
- 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:40,017 Bro, we don't care what he looks like or if he's violent
- 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,102 or if he's been combined with another Funbucket
- 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,604 on a molecular level, bro.
- 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,522 TRAVIS: He's still Funbucket.
- 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,525 Just, just do it. We'll catch you, broheim.
- 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,902 (screeches)
- 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,029 (swelling orchestral music plays)
- 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,615 <i>♪</i>
- 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,787 Korvo. (growls) Terry.
- 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,706 Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, buddy. It's okay.
- 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,253 Do you feel like maybe we're the bad people in all this?
- 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,466 We're aliens. Our ways are mysterious. We can't be judged by human standards.
- 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,010 Now let's get out of here before we get arrested for all this shit.
- 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,678 -(explosions) - Is that the children's hospital?
- 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,430 Man, you don't really think of them blowing up like that.
- 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,599 I mean, what, are they storing giant tanks of flammable liquid?
- 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,435 In a children's hospital? No wonder all these kids are getting sick.
- 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,854 By the way, when we get home, you're throwing out that ice cream maker.
- 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,523 - You do not use it for yogurt. - Oh, my God.
- 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,732 Have you been sitting on that for an hour?
- 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,776 - I do too use it. - That is the opposite of true.
- 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,195 - MS. FRANKIE: Hey. - Oh, my God, what?
- 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,863 I told you, I didn't touch the computers.
- 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,491 I'm watching you, you creepy little fucking aliens.
- 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,409 You think just 'cause you didn't do anything bad today
- 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,204 you're gonna get away with it? Oh, you are on fucking blast.
- 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,039 I've got my eyes on you.
- 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,375 We didn't do anything. Why are you always mad at us? I--
- 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,418 (Lidia vocalizes)
- 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:53,048 I used to be small, but now, I am big. I'm peeing my pants.
- 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,716 (laughs) So funny.
- 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,927 - You're the best, Lidia. -(Lidia laughs)
- 00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,556 Every time I think I know the slang you kids use, you switch it up.
- 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,057 Wow, humans are dumb.
- 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,559 I guess we're never gonna get busted on anything.
- 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,686 What does that mean? Busted? Busted on what?
- 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,895 Uh, I-I mean...
- 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,689 Did you guys shrink this girl down
- 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,941 and then lobotomize her to cover your tracks?
- 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,192 - Uh... -(sniffs)
- 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:16,530 Did you dump Diet Coke in her exposed brain? That's horrible.
- 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,323 Something has to be done about you two.
- 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,618 You can't just go about your regular lives without some sort of punishment.
- 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,079 Things cannot go on as if nothing happened.
- 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,540 You know what, Terry?
- 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,458 I think those bros really did love Funbucket
- 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,128 in a much more deeper and sensual way than we ever could.
- 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,088 You know, we should invite them over for a game night.
- 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:37,259 - Ooh, extra crispy, my favorite. - Wait, KFC? Are we not in trouble?
- 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,804 We may be trapped on this world that's on the brink of mass extinction
- 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,223 plagued by a species that destroys the environment,
- 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,436 but while we're here, breathing in the disgusting poison air,
- 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,854 at least we have each other.
- 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,981 I could not replace you with a million Funbuckets.
- 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,150 - What's a Funbucket? - From now on, we're gonna be best friends
- 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,693 and we can watch all the <i>Harry Potter</i> movies back to back.
- 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,069 That's not what I meant.
- 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,156 Look, from now on, we focus on the mission but we also be a family
- 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,657 and all that kind of shit and do that stuff.
- 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,201 And we can wear matching costumes
- 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,911 - and compete in fashion shows-- - No, no, I'm covering my ears.
- 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,495 Just two friends holding hands down the street.
- 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,414 Everyone's like, are, are they lovers? No, we're friends.
- 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,249 What is the mission, anyway?
- 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,960 It gets brought up all the time and Korvo's always pissed,
- 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,879 but nobody's real clear about it.
- 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,673 When the Pupa reaches maturity, it'll evolve into its true form.
- 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,425 One that'll destroy and rebuild the planet
- 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,011 in the image of the home world using data stored in its DNA.
- 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,429 - That kind of stuff. - Wow!
- 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,890 Seems like a pretty important job to put Pupa--
- 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,016 (both groan)
- 00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,768 - Gross. - That's sick, Pupa.
- 00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,103 Don't eat the gooblers. Bad Pupa.
- 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,563 (crunching)
- 00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,107 Wow, I can't believe we didn't get in trouble today.
- 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,610 - Korvo was pissed. - We never should have kidnapped a kid.
- 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,403 Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.
- 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:43,283 From now on, we only shrink adults. No one cares when some jerk goes missing.
- 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,787 Good night, Mr. Janitor. I made you an outfit out of Kleenex.
- 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,456 If it doesn't fit, just rip it a little bit.
- 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,583 (dramatic music playing)
- 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,628 <i>♪</i>
- 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:39,506 <i>♪</i>
- 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,509 (imitating laser fire)
- 00:00:06,330 --> 00:00:08,737 Чёрт. Дурацкая штука. Давай.
- 00:00:08,844 --> 00:00:12,733 Делай свой бур, Корво. Работай синими руками.
- 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,579 Не раздевай меня глазами, Дебби.
- 00:00:14,605 --> 00:00:16,032 Я хочу поработать.
- 00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:17,794 Я здесь не ради твоих заигрываний.
- 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,492 Репликанты опоздали на автобус.
- 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,734 — Отвезёшь их в школу? — Не опоздали.
- 00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:23,955 — Он проехал мимо. — Уверен, это случайно.
- 00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:28,519 Водитель ненавидит нас. Я пытался взять у неё крошечный образец глаза.
- 00:00:28,525 --> 00:00:30,486 Мы поедем?
- 00:00:30,487 --> 00:00:32,325 На классном часе решу, в кого влюбиться сегодня.
- 00:00:32,326 --> 00:00:34,740 — Нет. Я занят. — Брось, Корво. Не будь таким.
- 00:00:34,741 --> 00:00:36,408 Лучше помоги построить бур.
- 00:00:36,409 --> 00:00:38,978 Я с Пупой на площадку, пока там лабрадудль.
- 00:00:39,004 --> 00:00:42,197 Собачья площадка важнее, чем сплав никеля,
- 00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:43,447 который позволит починить наш корабль?
- 00:00:43,471 --> 00:00:45,045 Не знаю, Корво.
- 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,463 Сплав никеля может поймать тарелочку на лету?
- 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,962 Не узнаем, пока не найдём его.
- 00:00:48,963 --> 00:00:52,748 Я единственный шлорпион, который хочет сбежать с этой планеты?
- 00:00:52,774 --> 00:00:54,530 Ты сам решил приземлиться здесь.
- 00:00:54,556 --> 00:00:56,996 Приборы не показали, что это заражённая людьми дыра
- 00:00:57,020 --> 00:00:58,888 без всяких преимуществ.
- 00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:01,930 Мы торчим здесь уже год. По-вашему, это не проблема?
- 00:01:14,353 --> 00:01:15,420 ПРИБЛИЖЕНИЕ К ЯДРУ
- 00:01:22,322 --> 00:01:24,133 Так. Ладно. Иди к папочке.
- 00:01:24,637 --> 00:01:26,434 Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет.
- 00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:36,635 Парни! На площадке была стрельба,
- 00:01:36,636 --> 00:01:39,606 но вы не догадались бы, потому что собаки счастливы.
- 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:42,375 Вам нравятся культи? Будете лизать их?
- 00:01:43,278 --> 00:01:45,408 Планета Шлорп была идеальной.
- 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,633 Пока не упал астероид.
- 00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:50,820 Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу
- 00:01:50,827 --> 00:01:52,792 и сбежали в космос
- 00:01:52,818 --> 00:01:55,354 в поисках нового дома в незаселённых мирах.
- 00:01:56,054 --> 00:01:59,043 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на перенаселённой планете.
- 00:01:59,044 --> 00:02:00,753 Я постоянно об этом твержу.
- 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,470 Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.
- 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,963 И это моё шоу. Я бросил Пупу. Видите меня?
- 00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:06,385 Это смешно.
- 00:02:06,386 --> 00:02:08,260 Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
- 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,485 В ближайшие дни я взорву его
- 00:02:09,511 --> 00:02:12,085 и покончу с этой ерундой. Клянусь.
- 00:02:12,125 --> 00:02:16,678 ОБРАТНАЯ СТОРОНА ЗЕМЛИ
- 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,900 О, какие милые ножки.
- 00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,333 Они растут. Смотри.
- 00:02:24,359 --> 00:02:25,984 — Не смотри. — Я придумал план на день.
- 00:02:25,987 --> 00:02:28,489 Купим лотерейный билет, выиграем миллион.
- 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:30,652 Отдадим его как чаевые официантке
- 00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,247 и изменим её жизнь.
- 00:02:32,248 --> 00:02:34,534 Давай, девочка, купи новые туфли.
- 00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:37,835 Я собираюсь сидеть в полумраке, опрыскивать ноги,
- 00:02:37,836 --> 00:02:40,912 пока они не отрастут, и читать книгу по ремонту.
- 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,884 Корвотрон, брось. Знаю, Земля населена значительно больше, чем ты ожидал,
- 00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,051 но это весело.
- 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:48,790 Просто смирись. Прими ближних.
- 00:02:48,816 --> 00:02:51,277 Мне здесь не нравится. Хватит утешать меня.
- 00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:54,440 — Дай мне спокойно отрастить ноги. — Как скажешь, Корво.
- 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,274 ФАНБАКЕТ ТЭДСТОКИНГС
- 00:02:56,897 --> 00:02:58,323 КУДА МЫ СОВЕРШИМ ПУТЕШЕСТВИЕ ВО ВРЕМЕНИ СЕГОДНЯ?
- 00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:05,229 Хах.
- 00:03:05,255 --> 00:03:06,378 СРЕДНЯЯ ШКОЛА
- 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,587 Не думаешь, что нас считают странными?
- 00:03:08,613 --> 00:03:12,499 Нет. А как ученый-охотник за головами, я крайне восприимчив.
- 00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,451 Пришельцы — отстой.
- 00:03:14,452 --> 00:03:15,452 Летите на Уран.
- 00:03:15,453 --> 00:03:17,703 Мы даже не из этого квадранта.
- 00:03:18,539 --> 00:03:21,190 Мы не должны ходить в школу с инопланетянами,
- 00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,906 которые могут убить нас лучевой пушкой.
- 00:03:23,932 --> 00:03:26,595 Не будь расисткой. Мы не убиваем людей.
- 00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:29,461 Мерзкие, противные пришельцы дерутся в коридоре?
- 00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:31,254 К директору Куку. Быстро.
- 00:03:31,804 --> 00:03:34,514 Кто, кто этот персонаж Фанбакет?
- 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:37,399 — А что? — Не знал, что здесь еще один разумный вид.
- 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,512 Бинго-банго. Я Фанбакет.
- 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,439 Хм. Люблю фирменные фразы.
- 00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:43,483 Да. У него их полно. «Бинго-банго» -
- 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,915 вершина айсберга, мой друг.
- 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:49,198 Похоже, у Фанбакета здоровое презрение к людям.
- 00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:50,801 Да. Однажды он скормил волшебные бобы
- 00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:53,869 мистеру Шромеру и превратил его в куст.
- 00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:56,994 — Ему не понравилось, так? — Да. Он разозлился.
- 00:03:56,995 --> 00:03:58,995 Фанбакет не соблюдает правила.
- 00:03:59,019 --> 00:04:01,665 Похоже, у него секретная лаборатория в подвале.
- 00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:03,336 Да. Там они решают загадки:
- 00:04:03,362 --> 00:04:06,873 простые уравнения или кто украл ручку у директора.
- 00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:10,132 Он потрясающий. Вот бы жить рядом с ним.
- 00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:13,188 Мы бы говорили гадости про людей, занимались наукой.
- 00:04:13,214 --> 00:04:15,511 Фанбакет как Корво, правда, Терри?
- 00:04:15,514 --> 00:04:18,514 Уверен, он ненавидит Землю и дурацкий календарь по месяцам.
- 00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:22,245 В субботу приходите в «Гретхен-дарт-молл» на ежегодную распродажу.
- 00:04:22,271 --> 00:04:25,689 Скидки и шанс выиграть кость пальца святого Петра.
- 00:04:25,690 --> 00:04:29,400 А также выступление Фанбакета и клоуна Ранго.
- 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:32,482 О, Ранго крут: оранжевые волосы, дом-ботинок.
- 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,832 — Он живет в Мичигане. — Стой.
- 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:36,534 Фанбакет будет в торговом центре? Сходим?
- 00:04:36,535 --> 00:04:37,995 Ты познакомишься с ним.
- 00:04:37,996 --> 00:04:39,662 Он поможет нам с миссией. А?
- 00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:40,663 Ты любишь это слово.
- 00:04:40,664 --> 00:04:42,122 Надо посмотреть все серии и узнать о Фанбакете всё.
- 00:04:42,123 --> 00:04:45,181 Он воспроизводится? И как?
- 00:04:45,207 --> 00:04:47,252 Не знаю. Об этом не говорили. Да.
- 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,173 Думаю, у него есть достоинство.
- 00:04:49,174 --> 00:04:51,212 — И огромное. — Хорошо, Терри.
- 00:04:51,216 --> 00:04:53,482 Надо всё узнать о нём перед встречей.
- 00:04:53,508 --> 00:04:55,373 Что скажете в своё оправдание?
- 00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:58,264 — Вы о чем? — Кто-то залез в компьютерный класс
- 00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,765 и оснастил все компьютеры искусственным интеллектом.
- 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,314 Я был копом. Меня зовут Ричард Майклс.
- 00:05:03,315 --> 00:05:05,646 Он хочет арестовать всех, кто им пользуется.
- 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,024 Вы вините нас, потому что мы пришельцы.
- 00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,651 У всех есть доступ к компьютерам.
- 00:05:10,652 --> 00:05:13,862 — Ни с места! — Мы нашли это, в двери.
- 00:05:13,864 --> 00:05:15,886 Да. Э… э… э… У меня есть обе.
- 00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:17,054 Почему эта как новая?
- 00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,202 Я ношу на ней перчатку.
- 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,629 Отныне я жду от вас идеального поведения.
- 00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:25,662 Не терраформировать спортзал, не делать людей-стручков
- 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,620 и никакой прочей ерунды.
- 00:05:27,646 --> 00:05:30,666 Ведите себя как обычные дети, или вас исключат.
- 00:05:30,692 --> 00:05:33,944 А теперь убирайтесь отсюда.
- 00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:37,263 Их надо было выставить на улицу.
- 00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:39,053 Не будьте тряпкой, Кук.
- 00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:41,622 Скоро выгоним, миссис Фрэнки.
- 00:05:41,648 --> 00:05:46,458 И тогда вы увидите, какой я могущественный.
- 00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:47,481 Иди сюда.
- 00:05:48,941 --> 00:05:52,307 Пусть обращаются с нами, как с обычными детьми.
- 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,766 Да, обычные дети с уменьшителем.
- 00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:58,746 Вы у меня получите! Выпустите меня!
- 00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:01,494 Неужели мы познакомимся с Фанбакетом?
- 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,456 М-м-мантия в порядке, Терри?
- 00:06:03,482 --> 00:06:05,819 Я спрошу, умеет ли он дышать под водой.
- 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,084 Думаю, да. А может, и не надо.
- 00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,502 Нет. Спрошу, чтобы убедиться.
- 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,632 Терри, он будет счастлив узнать, что здесь есть другие неземляне.
- 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,291 Он больше не одинок.
- 00:06:14,299 --> 00:06:16,894 Я приглашу его сыграть в приставку. Думаешь, он играет?
- 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,130 — Интересно, в какую? — У него тоже миссия?
- 00:06:19,156 --> 00:06:20,299 Уверен, что да.
- 00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:23,143 У него мех грубый и твёрдый или мягкий и шелковистый?
- 00:06:23,559 --> 00:06:25,142 — Хм. Странно. — Что?
- 00:06:25,144 --> 00:06:28,271 Фанбакет больше, чем кажется по телевизору.
- 00:06:28,272 --> 00:06:31,731 Да, верно. Постой. У него кожа из ткани?
- 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,129 — Ты! — Что это значит?
- 00:06:34,155 --> 00:06:36,612 Здесь очередь. Вернитесь в конец. А!
- 00:06:36,638 --> 00:06:38,538 Это пацан! А где Фанбакет?
- 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,413 — Я требую встречи с Фанбакетом. — Фанбакет не настоящий, идиоты.
- 00:06:42,414 --> 00:06:44,450 Нет, неправда. Мы видели по телевизору.
- 00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:46,494 — Это детское шоу. — Детское?
- 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,943 Убирайтесь! Вон!
- 00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,422 Фанбакет не настоящий?
- 00:06:54,423 --> 00:06:56,092 Фанбакет должен быть настоящим.
- 00:06:56,093 --> 00:06:58,091 — Телевизор солгал. — Это невозможно.
- 00:06:58,093 --> 00:07:00,343 Вся история человечества в телевизоре.
- 00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:02,974 Я уже не знаю, где правда. Подлодки существуют?
- 00:07:02,975 --> 00:07:05,973 — А пингвины? — Не знаю. Вероятно, нет.
- 00:07:05,976 --> 00:07:08,566 — Стой. Квантовый инжектор. — «Друзья» настоящие?
- 00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,190 А «Фрейзер» настоящий?
- 00:07:10,216 --> 00:07:13,144 Если «Фрейзер» не настоящий, я убью себя!
- 00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:15,739 — Как ты можешь думать о работе? — Квантовый инжектор
- 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:17,823 изначально использовался для ремонта
- 00:07:17,824 --> 00:07:20,859 органических излучателей, но с небольшими доработками.
- 00:07:20,885 --> 00:07:24,368 — Мы сделаем Фанбакета. — Нам нужен Фанбакет.
- 00:07:24,369 --> 00:07:26,890 Он поможет нам с миссией. Он учёный.
- 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,623 Видел, его лабораторию в подвале у парня?
- 00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:31,664 А что он творит в одном из эпизодов?
- 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,969 Надо сделать его как можно ближе к реальности.
- 00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:38,882 Любая малейшая доработка будет иметь значение.
- 00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:46,363 Бинго-банго. Я Фанбакет!
- 00:07:46,389 --> 00:07:48,646 Фанбакет. Я Корво, а это Терри.
- 00:07:48,647 --> 00:07:50,393 Мы твои новые лучшие друзья.
- 00:07:51,522 --> 00:07:53,175 Вы же не будете меня бить, правда?
- 00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:55,282 Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет-нет-нет-нет!
- 00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:03,466 Бинго-банго!
- 00:08:18,895 --> 00:08:21,316 Ты такой шопоголик, Фанбакет.
- 00:08:21,342 --> 00:08:23,624 Шопинг-терапия, детка.
- 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:26,589 Это не твоя фраза. Скажи «бинго-банго».
- 00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:30,092 — Э… Бинго-банго. — Вот так.
- 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,344 Эй, эй-эй-эй! Смотри, кто настоящий.
- 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,426 Пропустите меня. Хватит.
- 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:38,521 Может, ты извинишься перед нашим настоящим другом?
- 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:43,188 — Прости, я думал, ты ненастоящий. — Ничего.
- 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,817 О! Идём в магазин косметики.
- 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,027 Подготовим тебя к походу в клуб вечером.
- 00:08:49,053 --> 00:08:50,068 Мне и так хорошо.
- 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,809 Фанбакет, это не обсуждается.
- 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,197 Мы хотим, чтобы ты прихорошился,
- 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,285 чтобы все сказали: «Надо же,
- 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,416 кто эти крутые парни в клубе с Фанбакетом?»
- 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,958 Так. Сделайте меня большой.
- 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,429 Я хорошенько отметелю вас, но обещаю не убивать.
- 00:09:04,455 --> 00:09:06,544 Пройди лабиринт. Мне нужны показатели.
- 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,184 Это глупо. Ты уверен, что у нас не будет неприятностей?
- 00:09:10,211 --> 00:09:12,189 Люди ставят опыты на низших видах.
- 00:09:12,215 --> 00:09:14,966 Отпустим её в поле, чтобы она жила с животными.
- 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:18,101 И потерять данные? Ты хочешь изучить человека?
- 00:09:18,102 --> 00:09:21,350 Нет. Я хочу обедать с друзьями и смотреть кино с мальчиками.
- 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,982 — Готово. — Забыл засечь время.
- 00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,527 — Еще раз. — Это полная чушь.
- 00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:27,524 Я уже не знаю, кто ты на самом деле.
- 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,986 Раньше ты был учёным, а теперь придурок.
- 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,848 Эксперимент поможет узнать, почему все злятся на нас.
- 00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:34,616 Я хочу оторваться в молле.
- 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:35,977 Нет! Она наябедничает!
- 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:39,165 Ха-ха! Черт!
- 00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:41,578 Вы посмотрите. Как здесь классно!
- 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,842 О, здесь есть водка Ченнинга Татума.
- 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:49,255 Приятель. Надо взять Фанбакета и отправиться в Нью-Йорк.
- 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,379 Будем всю дорогу слушать подкасты Гэффигана.
- 00:09:51,405 --> 00:09:52,435 Он папа Америки.
- 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:55,052 О, это было бы довольно весело.
- 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,888 По пути заедем на какие-нибудь придорожные аттракционы.
- 00:09:57,915 --> 00:09:58,873 Да!
- 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,307 Эй, Корв, ты начинаешь привыкать к Земле?
- 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:06,104 Должен признать, с Фанбакетом ремонт корабля уже не кажется таким срочным.
- 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,666 Господи, я сейчас заплачу.
- 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:11,104 Фанбакет! Угощайся!
- 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,485 Надо обойти толпу.
- 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,869 Привет, парни. Я Терри, это Корво.
- 00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:22,412 — Мы пришельцы. — Подвиньтесь, мы сядем с вами.
- 00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:24,209 Ты знаешь этих недоумков?
- 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,458 — Нет. — Он просто шутит.
- 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,478 — Мы принесли тебе выпить. — Вы не поняли?
- 00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,245 — Фанбакет теперь с нами. — Нет-нет. Я не понимаю.
- 00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:34,192 — Что это значит? — Это значит: отвали, братишка.
- 00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:36,749 Я сделал Фанбакета в квантовом инжекторе.
- 00:10:36,775 --> 00:10:38,240 Ясно? Он принадлежит нам.
- 00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:41,474 Я никому не принадлежу. Я настоящий.
- 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,514 Но сёрфинг, Таиланд…
- 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,809 Теперь мои друзья Трэвис и Эйвери.
- 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,233 Они не относятся ко мне как к шестёрке.
- 00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:50,361 К тому же, мы не носим дурацкие мантии волшебников.
- 00:10:50,362 --> 00:10:51,655 Это церемониальный наряд.
- 00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:54,017 Именно. Выгоните их отсюда.
- 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,182 Пока, придурки.
- 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,035 В чем дело, Корво? Что это?
- 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,549 — Кто эти парни? — Взгляни на меня.
- 00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:04,202 Я выделяю гублеров.
- 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,530 Мы выделяем гублеров при сильном стрессе.
- 00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:09,840 Такого не было с тех пор, как нас загнали в один душ в академии.
- 00:11:09,866 --> 00:11:13,049 Если верить словарю, нас сквичнули.
- 00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:14,761 — То есть бросили. — О нет.
- 00:11:14,787 --> 00:11:16,294 Почему мне так плохо? Это больно.
- 00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,583 Наши тела не созданы для эмоциональной нагрузки.
- 00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:20,218 Мы можем перегреться и умереть.
- 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,531 Я не могу. Я еще не всё успел.
- 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,018 Не потрогал дельфина, не сходил на программу «Правильная цена».
- 00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:28,670 Не влюбился в поезде по пути в Индию в женщину старше меня.
- 00:11:28,696 --> 00:11:31,278 Мы должны узнать, чем эти парни лучше нас.
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,240 — Они просто зависают. — Не может быть.
- 00:11:35,272 --> 00:11:36,302 Мы тоже.
- 00:11:38,809 --> 00:11:39,737 О нет!
- 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,739 Какого черта? Вы следите за мной?
- 00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:45,173 Боже. Посмотри, что на них.
- 00:11:45,199 --> 00:11:47,949 О нет. Они оделись, как мы.
- 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,684 Какое ничтожество.
- 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,090 — Мы всегда так ходим. — Поймите же.
- 00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:55,127 — Фанбакет теперь с нами. — Прекратите плакать, как дети.
- 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,592 Сам ты ребёнок!
- 00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,680 Иди ты, Фанбакет!
- 00:12:04,285 --> 00:12:06,075 Плохой Пупа. Брось, брось.
- 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,398 Серьёзно. От него плохо пахнет.
- 00:12:08,424 --> 00:12:11,339 Думаю, он съел гнилое яблоко или что-то еще.
- 00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:14,733 Почему всё не может стать, как было, когда телек был
- 00:12:14,759 --> 00:12:16,099 настоящим, а Фанбакет РЕЖИМ САМОЛИКВИДАЦИИ ОТКЛЮЧЕН
- 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,879 любил нас и не был придурком? РЕЖИМ САМОЛИКВИДАЦИИ АКТИВИРОВАН
- 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:21,614 Фанбакет слишком настоящий. Фанбакет-два будет лучше.
- 00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,067 Да, да-да-да-да-да-да-да!
- 00:12:23,093 --> 00:12:26,037 Пусть он любит нас, Корво. Сделай ему всякие навороты,
- 00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:28,038 чтобы он никогда не бросил нас.
- 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,702 Кто хочет пойти в поход?
- 00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:37,776 — Нет. Мы идём в клуб. — Давай согрешим!
- 00:12:37,803 --> 00:12:39,300 Фразы надо доработать.
- 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:40,339 Сойдёт.
- 00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:43,022 Хотите раковый суп? Всем пока!
- 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:49,060 Ха-ха-ха! О, Фанбакет-два, ты потрясающий танцор.
- 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,311 Я здесь за двумя вещами.
- 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,863 — Хотите раковый суп? — Эй.
- 00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:58,405 Никому не интересна ваша жалкая подделка.
- 00:12:58,431 --> 00:13:01,186 Ты завидуешь. Обновлённый Фанбакет лучше тебя.
- 00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:05,024 Он придурок. Вы позорите сами себя.
- 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,543 Что происходит? О боже!
- 00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:11,532 — Невидимая сила соединяет нас. — Прекрати.
- 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:12,788 Уберись от Фанбакета.
- 00:13:12,814 --> 00:13:15,092 — Квантовый инжектор. — Помогите!
- 00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:18,536 Может… Думаю, матрицы их тел пытаются совместиться.
- 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,643 Хотите раковый суп?
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,040 Нет, нет, нет!
- 00:13:39,904 --> 00:13:42,274 Привет. Вы наливаете навынос?
- 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:45,581 Прекрасно. Можно пару стаканов в дорогу? Спасибо.
- 00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:54,959 Думаешь, люди разозлятся на нас за это?
- 00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:57,384 Расслабься. Мало ли что это за мутант.
- 00:13:57,410 --> 00:14:01,830 Терри! Корво!
- 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,293 Надо что-то сделать.
- 00:14:03,404 --> 00:14:06,235 — Зачем тебе столько кукол? — А тебе — столько бластеров?
- 00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:08,635 — Мы пришельцы! — Их слишком много.
- 00:14:08,636 --> 00:14:10,710 В последний раз Лидию Джонсон видели в понедельник.
- 00:14:10,736 --> 00:14:14,451 Родители ищут любую зацепку, чтобы найти её.
- 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,188 Удачи им.
- 00:14:16,214 --> 00:14:19,178 Лидия, это Рэнди. Хватит шляться, вернись домой.
- 00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:23,469 Боже, мне так тяжело. Не думал, что буду скучать по ней.
- 00:14:23,478 --> 00:14:25,734 О-о. Мой отчим переживает.
- 00:14:25,735 --> 00:14:27,730 Нам тоже дадут вознаграждение?
- 00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:30,572 Срочная новость. Мне сказали, что Фанбакет настоящий.
- 00:14:30,598 --> 00:14:32,547 О нет, эй, ты тоже гублеришь.
- 00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:34,451 Да. Нас ищет полиция!
- 00:14:34,477 --> 00:14:36,195 Что с людьми и их детьми?
- 00:14:36,221 --> 00:14:38,301 — Я думал, им нравится их делать. — Что теперь?
- 00:14:38,327 --> 00:14:41,625 Классика жанра: «убить девку в Вегасе».
- 00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:43,701 Похищение сделает лишь хуже.
- 00:14:43,727 --> 00:14:46,844 Отпустите меня, и я выпрошу для вас хорошую тюрьму.
- 00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:49,437 — Растворим её. — Принесу кислоту.
- 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,590 — Так нельзя! — Она права.
- 00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:55,071 — Ударь сбоку, как по кетчупу. — Не убивайте меня!
- 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:59,220 Не волнуйся, мы посадим кусочки тебя, и вырастет новая девочка.
- 00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:02,597 Такого не бывает. Можете просто очистить мой мозг?
- 00:15:02,623 --> 00:15:03,597 Что за «мозг»?
- 00:15:08,939 --> 00:15:12,110 Стой! Здесь нет парковки. Завтра здесь убирают улицу.
- 00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:18,382 Не видели уменьшитель?
- 00:15:18,408 --> 00:15:20,498 Он лежал в шкафу с ненужной мороженицей.
- 00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,823 Я замораживал в ней йогурт.
- 00:15:22,829 --> 00:15:26,622 — Нам очень неловко. — Зачем вы вскрыли одноклассницу?
- 00:15:26,648 --> 00:15:31,154 Хотя учёные изучают мозг человека много веков, он всё еще загадка.
- 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,966 И она обижала нас в школе.
- 00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,504 Их все обижают. Не я это придумала.
- 00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:37,886 Школа — отстой, ясно? Там плохо.
- 00:15:37,913 --> 00:15:39,921 Это неважно. У нас миссия.
- 00:15:39,945 --> 00:15:42,596 Если что-то не по-вашему, нельзя просто отдаться эмоциям
- 00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:46,549 и делать, что хочется, делать нового Фанбакета.
- 00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:49,552 — Что? — Нельзя уменьшать людей.
- 00:15:49,578 --> 00:15:52,694 Мы хотели не убить ее, а немного перепрограммировать.
- 00:15:52,695 --> 00:15:54,083 Мы наказаны?
- 00:15:54,109 --> 00:15:57,235 Обсудим наказание позже. Зашейте её и отпустите.
- 00:15:57,239 --> 00:16:02,076 Вашим «наказанием» теперь будет тюрьма до конца жизни.
- 00:16:02,077 --> 00:16:07,379 И знаете что? Странным пришельцам в тюрьме будет совсем не весело.
- 00:16:09,417 --> 00:16:11,687 Кого я собиралась отметелить?
- 00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:14,551 — Продолжай, пока не остынет. — Кое-кто пойдёт в тюрьму.
- 00:16:15,465 --> 00:16:18,083 Кое-кто… я… подсолнух…
- 00:16:18,109 --> 00:16:20,411 О, она становится глупее.
- 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,928 Неужели люди пьют эту штуку?
- 00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:25,644 С газировкой без сахара было бы еще быстрее.
- 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,520 — Можешь ехать прямо? — Я и так стараюсь, Терри.
- 00:16:53,753 --> 00:16:56,369 Нам следует избавить его от страданий.
- 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,071 Нет. Я сам.
- 00:16:58,097 --> 00:17:00,438 Знаешь, Терри, сегодня я узнал важную вещь.
- 00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,471 Нельзя переносить свои желания на другое создание.
- 00:17:03,472 --> 00:17:05,336 — О черт. Держи! — Лови его! Лови!
- 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,485 Ты не виноват, комбо-Фанбакет.
- 00:17:08,511 --> 00:17:10,222 Мне не надо было поддаваться эмоциям.
- 00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:13,358 Всё будет хорошо. Нас ждёт последнее приключение,
- 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,441 — и ты уйдёшь жить в молл. — В молл?
- 00:17:15,442 --> 00:17:17,926 Я думал, мы убьём его. Сбросим его с обрыва.
- 00:17:17,952 --> 00:17:20,448 Черт, Терри. Видишь, молл
- 00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:21,697 там, внизу.
- 00:17:21,698 --> 00:17:25,377 Это самый гуманный способ закончить наше общение, дружок.
- 00:17:25,403 --> 00:17:26,911 Оно закончится
- 00:17:27,209 --> 00:17:30,039 в промежутке от тридцати пяти до пятидесяти восьми секунд.
- 00:17:30,744 --> 00:17:33,334 — Стой! — Оставьте нас, Трэвис и Эйвери.
- 00:17:33,335 --> 00:17:34,963 — Достаточно. — Не убивайте его!
- 00:17:34,964 --> 00:17:36,712 — Мы любим его. — Он чудовище.
- 00:17:36,713 --> 00:17:39,963 Нам всё равно, как он выглядит, жестокий ли он
- 00:17:39,966 --> 00:17:43,780 или соединился с другим Фанбакетом на молекулярном уровне.
- 00:17:43,806 --> 00:17:45,556 Он всё равно Фанбакет.
- 00:17:45,557 --> 00:17:48,435 Давай. Давай. Мы поймаем тебя, братишка!
- 00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:59,710 Корво! Терри!
- 00:17:59,736 --> 00:18:02,227 Ничего, приятель, ничего.
- 00:18:05,909 --> 00:18:08,066 Тебе не кажется, что мы поступили плохо?
- 00:18:08,092 --> 00:18:10,654 Мы пришельцы. Наши пути неизведанны.
- 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,540 Нас нельзя судить людскими мерками.
- 00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:15,101 Пойдём отсюда, пока нас не арестовали.
- 00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:16,702 Это детская больница?
- 00:18:16,735 --> 00:18:18,370 Не знал, что они взрываются.
- 00:18:18,396 --> 00:18:20,546 Что там хранят? Баки с горючим?
- 00:18:20,549 --> 00:18:23,425 В детской больнице? Не удивительно, что дети болеют.
- 00:18:23,426 --> 00:18:25,764 Когда вернёмся, выброси мороженицу.
- 00:18:25,765 --> 00:18:27,471 — Ты не делаешь в ней йогурт. — О боже.
- 00:18:27,472 --> 00:18:29,629 Ты молчал целый час? Я пользуюсь ей.
- 00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:30,786 Неправда.
- 00:18:31,539 --> 00:18:33,176 — Эй! — О боже, что?
- 00:18:33,202 --> 00:18:34,814 Не трогал я ваши компьютеры.
- 00:18:34,815 --> 00:18:37,523 Я слежу за вами, гадкие пришельцы.
- 00:18:37,524 --> 00:18:39,321 Думаете, если ничего не сделали сегодня,
- 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:42,077 это сойдёт вам с рук? Вы на прицеле.
- 00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:44,071 Я слежу за вами.
- 00:18:44,072 --> 00:18:46,643 Мы ничего не сделали. За что вы злитесь?
- 00:18:48,496 --> 00:18:51,762 Я была маленькой, а теперь большая.
- 00:18:51,788 --> 00:18:53,348 Я писаюсь в штаны.
- 00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:56,330 Смешно. Ты лучшая, Лидия.
- 00:18:56,990 --> 00:19:00,558 Как только я привыкаю к вашему сленгу, вы его меняете.
- 00:19:00,584 --> 00:19:01,922 О. Люди глупы.
- 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,504 Нас никогда не поймают.
- 00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:05,638 Что это значит? Поймают? За что?
- 00:19:05,639 --> 00:19:06,844 Э… то есть…
- 00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:10,895 Вы уменьшили её и сделали ей лоботомию, чтобы это скрыть?
- 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:15,311 Вы лили газировку ей на открытый мозг?
- 00:19:15,312 --> 00:19:18,272 Это ужасно. Надо с вами двумя что-то делать.
- 00:19:18,274 --> 00:19:21,566 Вы не можете безнаказанно жить дальше, как прежде.
- 00:19:21,568 --> 00:19:24,028 Нельзя делать вид, будто ничего не случилось.
- 00:19:25,572 --> 00:19:28,402 Знаешь, Терри. Думаю, они правда любили Фанбакета,
- 00:19:28,409 --> 00:19:31,179 гораздо сильнее и крепче, чем можем любить мы.
- 00:19:31,205 --> 00:19:32,991 Надо пригласить их как-нибудь.
- 00:19:33,017 --> 00:19:35,873 — О, с корочкой. Мои любимые. — Крылышки!
- 00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,895 — Мы не наказаны? — Мы застряли в мире,
- 00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:41,923 который, находясь на грани исчезновения, населён видом,
- 00:19:41,924 --> 00:19:44,342 уничтожающим природу, но пока мы здесь
- 00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:48,722 дышим этим отравленным воздухом, мы хотя бы вместе.
- 00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:51,331 Вас не заменит и миллион Фанбакетов.
- 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,264 — Что за Фанбакет? — Мы лучшие друзья!
- 00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:54,934 Посмотрим все серии «Гарри Поттера»!
- 00:19:54,935 --> 00:19:57,656 Я не об этом. Отныне мы сосредоточимся на миссии,
- 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,889 но будем семьёй и всё такое прочее.
- 00:20:00,915 --> 00:20:03,308 Наденем одинаковые костюмы и пойдём на шоу.
- 00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:06,733 — Нет-нет. Я затыкаю уши. — Как двое друзей, взявшись за руки.
- 00:20:07,184 --> 00:20:09,293 Что это за «миссия»?
- 00:20:09,319 --> 00:20:11,916 Корво постоянно говорит о ней и злится.
- 00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:13,820 Но никто не знает ничего конкретного.
- 00:20:13,829 --> 00:20:16,748 Когда Пупа станет взрослым, он обретёт настоящую форму,
- 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,510 которая перестроит эту планету по образу нашего дома,
- 00:20:19,536 --> 00:20:22,124 используя данные его ДНК. Вот так.
- 00:20:22,129 --> 00:20:24,869 О-о, похоже, Пупу ждёт важная работа.
- 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,845 — Ужасно! — Ужасно, Пупа.
- 00:20:27,846 --> 00:20:30,069 Не ешь гублеров. Плохой Пупа!
- 00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:34,057 Неужели нас действительно не наказали?
- 00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:36,559 — Корво злился. — Не надо было похищать ребёнка.
- 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,270 Не знаю, о чем я думал
- 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:43,361 Отныне уменьшаем лишь взрослых. Всем плевать, куда пропадают придурки.
- 00:20:43,387 --> 00:20:46,824 Доброй ночи, мистер Уборщик. Я сделала рубашку из туалетной бумаги.
- 00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:49,164 Будет мала — надорвите немного.
- 00:00:06,238 --> 00:00:08,408 Черт возьми. Ну давай уже, работай.
- 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:12,738 Давай, строй этот бур. Поработай синими мышцами.
- 00:00:12,738 --> 00:00:14,488 Хватит раздевать меня взглядом, Дебби.
- 00:00:14,488 --> 00:00:15,998 Я хочу спокойно поработать.
- 00:00:15,998 --> 00:00:17,748 Я тут не ради твоих намеков.
- 00:00:17,748 --> 00:00:20,458 Хей, репликанты пропустили автобус. Можешь отвезти их в школу?
- 00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,708 - Я занят. - Мы не пропустили его.
- 00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:24,088 - Водитель специально проехала мимо. - Я уверен, что она случайно.
- 00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:26,128 Водитель просто ненавидит нас, потому что я попытался взять
- 00:00:26,128 --> 00:00:28,508 крошечный образец ее глаза.
- 00:00:28,508 --> 00:00:30,468 Мы можем уже пойти? В классной комнате я обычно решаю,
- 00:00:30,468 --> 00:00:32,298 в кого я сегодня влюблена.
- 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:34,718 - Нет, я занят. - Ну же, Корво. Не веди себя так.
- 00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:36,388 Ты бы лучше помог мне с буром.
- 00:00:36,388 --> 00:00:38,808 Мне надо отвести Пупу в собачий парк. Не хотим упустить лабрадудлей.
- 00:00:38,808 --> 00:00:42,188 Значит, собачий парк важнее, чем добыча сплава никеля,
- 00:00:42,188 --> 00:00:43,398 чтобы починить наш корабль?
- 00:00:43,398 --> 00:00:45,028 Не знаю, Корво.
- 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:47,438 А сплав никела сможет поймать фрисби?
- 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,948 Не узнаем, пока не получим его.
- 00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,068 Знаешь, иногда у меня такое чувство, что я единственный шлорпианец,
- 00:00:51,068 --> 00:00:52,868 который хочет покинуть эту мерзкую планетку.
- 00:00:52,868 --> 00:00:54,618 Эй, это ты на нее решил приземлиться.
- 00:00:54,618 --> 00:00:56,868 Мои сканеры не показывали, что это это дыра с кучкой людей,
- 00:00:56,868 --> 00:00:58,868 в которых нет ничего хорошего, Терри.
- 00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:01,918 Мы тут торчим уже год. Почему тебе нормально?
- 00:01:22,308 --> 00:01:24,018 Ладно, хорошо. Иди к папочке.
- 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,318 Нет, нет, нет.
- 00:01:34,198 --> 00:01:36,618 В собачьем парке была стрельба,
- 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,408 но собаки все равно так счастливы, словно ничего и не произошло.
- 00:01:39,408 --> 00:01:42,168 О да, вам нравятся эти обрубки? Хотите полизать их?
- 00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:45,338 Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией.
- 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,208 До падения астероида.
- 00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:50,758 Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой
- 00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,588 и отправились в космос
- 00:01:52,588 --> 00:01:55,138 в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.
- 00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:58,968 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселенной планете.
- 00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,678 Верно, это я говорил все это время.
- 00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,598 Я тот, который держут Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.
- 00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,898 Это... это мое шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу. Видите меня?
- 00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:06,308 Это просто смешно.
- 00:02:06,308 --> 00:02:08,188 Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
- 00:02:08,188 --> 00:02:09,648 Однажды я взорву ее
- 00:02:09,648 --> 00:02:11,988 и покончу со всем этим, клянусь богом.
- 00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:22,828 Только взгляните на эти маленькие ножки.
- 00:02:22,828 --> 00:02:24,368 Они уже растут. Только посмотрите!
- 00:02:24,368 --> 00:02:25,918 - Не смотри на них. - Я уже весь день распланировал.
- 00:02:25,918 --> 00:02:28,458 Мы купим лотерейные билеты, выиграем миллион долларов,
- 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:30,588 а потом отдадим его официантке,
- 00:02:30,588 --> 00:02:32,168 полностью меняя ее жизнь.
- 00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,468 Ну же, девочка. Купи себе туфли.
- 00:02:34,468 --> 00:02:37,758 Я планирую сидеть в темной комнате и прыскать питательными веществами на обрубки,
- 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,848 пока они не отрастут, а потом буду изучать инструкции по починке.
- 00:02:40,848 --> 00:02:43,688 Ну же, Корвотрон. Знаю, что Земля немного
- 00:02:43,688 --> 00:02:45,808 более населена разумной жизнью, чем ожидалось,
- 00:02:45,808 --> 00:02:46,978 но тут все равно может быть весело.
- 00:02:46,978 --> 00:02:48,858 Надо просто расслабиться, расслабиться со своими бро.
- 00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:51,228 Мне тут никогда не понравится. Хватит пытаться развеселить меня.
- 00:02:51,228 --> 00:02:54,358 - Я просто... дай мне спокойно отрастить ноги. - Как скажешь, Корво.
- 00:03:06,328 --> 00:03:08,418 У тебя есть такое чувство, что все вокруг считают нас странными?
- 00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:10,878 Нет, а как ученый и охотник за головами,
- 00:03:10,878 --> 00:03:12,418 я бы сразу это почувствовал.
- 00:03:12,418 --> 00:03:14,378 Инопланетяне - остой.
- 00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:15,378 Возвращайтесь на Уран.
- 00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:17,638 Мы даже не из этого квадранта.
- 00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:20,928 Не думаю, что нам следует учиться вместе с инопланетянами,
- 00:03:20,928 --> 00:03:24,058 которые могут перестрелять нас из лазерных пушек.
- 00:03:24,058 --> 00:03:26,518 Не будьте расистами. Мы ни в кого не стреляем.
- 00:03:26,518 --> 00:03:29,398 Чертовы инопланетяне, вы снова деретесь с кем-то в коридоре?
- 00:03:29,398 --> 00:03:31,108 В кабинет директора Кука. Срочно.
- 00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:34,438 Что это за персонаж такой - Фанбакет?
- 00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:35,818 - Почему интересуешься? - Я не знал,
- 00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:37,318 что на Земле есть еще одна разумная раса.
- 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,448 Бинго Банго, я Фанбакет.
- 00:03:39,448 --> 00:03:41,278 Мне нравится его коронная фраза.
- 00:03:41,278 --> 00:03:43,408 О да, у него много таких фраз. "Бинго банго"
- 00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:45,788 это всего лишь одна из них.
- 00:03:45,788 --> 00:03:49,128 Похоже, Фанбакету реально не нравятся люди.
- 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:50,838 О да, однажды он скормил волшебные бобы
- 00:03:50,838 --> 00:03:52,628 мистеру Шромеру и тот превратился в куст.
- 00:03:52,628 --> 00:03:53,798 Тот превратился в куст!
- 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,218 О, он должен был быть в бешенстве.
- 00:03:55,218 --> 00:03:56,928 - Он был в бешенстве? - Да, он был очень раздражен.
- 00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:58,888 Вау, Фанбакету вообще плевать на правила, да?
- 00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:01,598 Кажется, у него в подвале есть секретная лаборатория.
- 00:04:01,598 --> 00:04:03,308 Да, с помощью они решают всякие загадки.
- 00:04:03,308 --> 00:04:06,888 Знаешь, простые математические уравнения. Например, кто украл новую ручку директора.
- 00:04:06,888 --> 00:04:10,058 Это парень просто потрясающий. Как бы я хотел жить рядом с Фанбакетом.
- 00:04:10,058 --> 00:04:12,268 Мы бы могли зависать вместе и обсуждать людей.
- 00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,398 Могли бы заниматься наукой. Знаешь, Фанбакет напоминает Корво,
- 00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:15,438 как думаешь, Терри?
- 00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:18,448 Я уверен, что он ненавидит Землю и их тупой месячный календарь, как и я.
- 00:04:18,448 --> 00:04:20,448 В субботу приходите в ТЦ Гретхен-Дарт
- 00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:22,198 на ежегодные мега скидки.
- 00:04:22,198 --> 00:04:25,618 Скидки во всех магазинах,а также у вас есть шанс выиграть кости пальцев святого Питера!
- 00:04:25,618 --> 00:04:29,328 Также вы встретитесь с Фанбакетом и клоуном Ранго.
- 00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:32,418 Ранго классный. У него рыжие волосы, а его дом - это ботинок.
- 00:04:32,418 --> 00:04:33,708 - Думаю, он живет в Мичигане. - Подожди-ка.
- 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,338 Фанбакет будет в нашем ТЦ?
- 00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:36,468 Мы могли бы с ним встретиться.
- 00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:37,918 О, приятель, он мог бы посмотреть твои записи.
- 00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:39,588 Он мог бы помочь нам с миссией.
- 00:04:39,588 --> 00:04:40,588 Ты же любишь это слово на М, верно?
- 00:04:40,588 --> 00:04:42,048 Мы должны посмотреть все серии, Терри.
- 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,508 Я должен знать про Фанбакета все.
- 00:04:43,508 --> 00:04:45,178 Есть ли у него пенис? Может ли он размножаться?
- 00:04:45,178 --> 00:04:47,178 Я не... Я не знаю, это как-то не упоминалось.
- 00:04:47,178 --> 00:04:49,098 Да, то есть, думаю, у него есть пенис.
- 00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:51,148 - Возможно, он огромный. - Хорошо, хорошо, Терри.
- 00:04:51,148 --> 00:04:53,268 Мы должны узнать про него все перед тем, как встретим его.
- 00:04:53,268 --> 00:04:55,278 Ну, и что вы скажете в оправдание?
- 00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:58,198 - О чем? - Кто-то проник в компьютерный класс
- 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,698 и теперь у всех iMac есть искуственный интеллект.
- 00:05:00,698 --> 00:05:03,238 Раньше я был копом. Меня зовут Ричард Майклз.
- 00:05:03,238 --> 00:05:05,738 Эта штука пыталась арестовать всех, кто ее использовал.
- 00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,948 Вы просто вините нас из-за того, что мы инопланетяне.
- 00:05:07,948 --> 00:05:10,578 У всех есть доступ к компьютерам.
- 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:13,788 - Замри, гад. - Вот что застряло в двери.
- 00:05:13,788 --> 00:05:15,878 Ну, у меня есть обе.
- 00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:17,628 А почему эта выглядит такой новой?
- 00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:19,128 Потому что я ношу на ней перчатку.
- 00:05:19,548 --> 00:05:22,548 С этого времени я ожидаю от вас идеального поведения.
- 00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:25,598 Никакой терраформирование для создания людей-стручков в спортзале
- 00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:27,468 или другого дерьма из За гранью возможного.
- 00:05:27,468 --> 00:05:30,478 Если не будете вести себя нормально, то вас исключат.
- 00:05:30,478 --> 00:05:33,728 А теперь валите отсюда.
- 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,188 Нам бы стоило уже их вышвырнуть.
- 00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:38,988 Тебе надо собраться, Кук.
- 00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:41,488 Скоро все будет, мисс Фрэнки.
- 00:05:41,488 --> 00:05:46,448 И ты увидишь, какой я властный.
- 00:05:46,448 --> 00:05:47,408 Иди сюда.
- 00:05:48,868 --> 00:05:51,748 Вот бы они относились к нам так, как к обычным детям.
- 00:05:51,748 --> 00:05:54,538 Да, нормальным детям с уменьшающим лучом.
- 00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:58,508 Я надеру вам задницы. Выпустите меня отсюда!
- 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,548 Не могу поверить, что увижу Фанбакета.
- 00:06:01,548 --> 00:06:03,468 Моя роба хорошо выглядит, Терри?
- 00:06:03,468 --> 00:06:05,678 О боже, я спрошу у него, может ли он дышать под водой.
- 00:06:05,678 --> 00:06:08,008 Я-я уверен, что может. Честно, я просто... Может, не стоит.
- 00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:09,428 Нет, я все равно спрошу его на всякий.
- 00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:10,678 Терри, я уверен, он будет так рад узнать,
- 00:06:10,678 --> 00:06:12,558 что на этой планете есть другие разумные виды.
- 00:06:12,558 --> 00:06:14,228 Он больше не будет чувствовать себя так одиноко.
- 00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:16,728 Я приглашу его сыграть в Нинтендо. Думаешь, ему нравится Нинтендо?
- 00:06:16,728 --> 00:06:19,108 - А если он больше по Сеге? - Думаешь, у него тоже есть миссия?
- 00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:20,398 О, я в этом уверен.
- 00:06:20,398 --> 00:06:23,068 Как думаешь, его мех жесткий или мягкий?
- 00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:25,068 - Странно. - Что, что?
- 00:06:25,068 --> 00:06:28,198 Фанбакет крупнее, чем по телевизору.
- 00:06:28,198 --> 00:06:31,658 Да, это так. Подожди, его кожа сделана из одежды?
- 00:06:32,408 --> 00:06:34,078 Какого черта происходит?
- 00:06:34,078 --> 00:06:36,628 Тут очередь. Займите место в очереди...
- 00:06:36,628 --> 00:06:38,548 Это просто какой-то ребенок. Что ты сделал с Фанбакетом?
- 00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:42,338 - Я требую увидеться с Фанбакетом. - Фанбакета не существует, идиоты.
- 00:06:42,338 --> 00:06:44,378 Нет, он существует. Мы его видели по телевизору.
- 00:06:44,378 --> 00:06:46,428 - Это шоу для детей. - Шоу для детей?
- 00:06:50,348 --> 00:06:51,598 Убирайтесь отсюда!
- 00:06:52,268 --> 00:06:54,348 Фанбакета не сущесвует?
- 00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,018 Фанбакет должен существовать. Должен.
- 00:06:56,018 --> 00:06:58,018 - Телевизор нам лгал. Лгал. - Это невозможно.
- 00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,278 Вся история человечества есть в телевизоре.
- 00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:02,898 Я даже не знаю, что вообще существует. Подлодки существуют?
- 00:07:02,898 --> 00:07:05,908 - Пингвины существуют? - Я не знаю, думаю, нет.
- 00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,488 - Стоп, квантовый инжектор. - А Друзья существуют?
- 00:07:08,488 --> 00:07:09,988 А Фрейзер существует?
- 00:07:09,988 --> 00:07:13,078 Если Фрейзер не существует, я покончу с собой.
- 00:07:13,078 --> 00:07:15,668 - Как ты вообще можешь думать сейчас о работе? - Квантовый инжектор.
- 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,748 Обычно используется для настройки органических выбросов
- 00:07:17,748 --> 00:07:20,878 для передачи матрицы, но с парочкой изменений...
- 00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:24,298 - Мы создадим Фанбакета. - Нам нужен Фанбакет.
- 00:07:24,298 --> 00:07:26,798 Он поможет нам с нашей миссией, Терри. Он человек науки.
- 00:07:26,798 --> 00:07:29,548 Ты видел, что у него есть лаборатория в подвале ребенка.
- 00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:31,598 Ты видел, что он творил в том самом эпизоде?
- 00:07:31,598 --> 00:07:33,888 Он просто обязан существовать.
- 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:38,808 Нам важно любое крошечное изменение.
- 00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:46,198 Бинго банго, я Фанбакет.
- 00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,568 Фанбакет, я Корво, это Терри.
- 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,328 И теперь мы твои лучшие друзья.
- 00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,118 Вы же не какие-то извращенцы?
- 00:07:53,118 --> 00:07:55,078 Нет, нет, нет.
- 00:08:02,128 --> 00:08:03,378 Бинго банго!
- 00:08:18,688 --> 00:08:21,228 Ты просто шопоголик, Фанбакет.
- 00:08:21,228 --> 00:08:23,528 Терапия покупок.
- 00:08:23,528 --> 00:08:26,488 Эй, это не твоя коронная фраза. Скажи "бинго банго".
- 00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:29,988 - Бинго банго. - Вот так.
- 00:08:29,988 --> 00:08:32,238 Эй, эй, эй. Посмотрите, кто существует.
- 00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:34,328 Просто дайте мне пройти. Хватит.
- 00:08:34,328 --> 00:08:38,418 Думаю, тебе стоит извиниться перед нашим существующим другом.
- 00:08:38,868 --> 00:08:43,088 - Прости, что думал, что тебя не сущесвует. - Да... ничего.
- 00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:46,718 Давайте зайдем в бутик с косметикой в Блуми.
- 00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:48,508 Мы подготовим тебя к сегодняшему походу в клуб.
- 00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:50,178 Мне нравится то, как я выгляжу.
- 00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:51,798 Фанбакет, мы не собираемся это обсуждать.
- 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,098 Мы хотим приодеть тебя,
- 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,178 чтобы все люди такие: "Вау".
- 00:08:56,178 --> 00:08:58,308 "Что это за крутые парни рядом с Фанбакетом?"
- 00:08:59,938 --> 00:09:01,858 А ну увеличьте меня.
- 00:09:01,858 --> 00:09:04,438 Я изобью вас, но обещаю не убивать.
- 00:09:04,438 --> 00:09:06,438 Просто пройди лабиринт. Ты мешаешь моим исследованиям.
- 00:09:06,438 --> 00:09:08,238 Это так глупо. Ты уверен, что
- 00:09:08,238 --> 00:09:10,198 у нас не будут из-за этого громадные проблемы?
- 00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,818 Люди всегда проводят опыты над низшими видами.
- 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,868 Давай просто выпустим ее в поле, чтобы она жила с другими животными.
- 00:09:14,868 --> 00:09:17,998 И потерять эти данные? Ты вообще хочешь изучать людей?
- 00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:21,248 Нет! Я хочу обедать с друзьями и смотреть фильмы с мальчиками.
- 00:09:21,248 --> 00:09:22,878 - Готово. - Я забыл засечь время.
- 00:09:22,878 --> 00:09:25,418 - Сделай еще раз. - Это чертовски глупо.
- 00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:27,418 Я даже не знаю, кто ты теперь.
- 00:09:27,418 --> 00:09:29,878 Раньше ты был ученым. А теперь ты просто придурок.
- 00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:32,638 Эксперименты помогут понять, почему мы всем так не нравимся.
- 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,508 Я хочу отдохнуть в ТЦ.
- 00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,848 Черт, она сдаст нас.
- 00:09:37,268 --> 00:09:40,188 Черт возьми. Просто посмотрите на это место.
- 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,478 Это Трим Сити!
- 00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:43,728 У них есть водка Ченнинга Татума!
- 00:09:45,688 --> 00:09:47,568 Чувак, чувак, мы должны взять Фанбакета
- 00:09:47,568 --> 00:09:49,148 в поездку и отправиться в Нью-Йорк.
- 00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:51,398 Мы будем слушать подкасты и альбомы Гэффигана.
- 00:09:51,398 --> 00:09:52,568 Он отец Америки!
- 00:09:52,568 --> 00:09:54,948 Это будет так здорово.
- 00:09:54,948 --> 00:09:57,868 Возможно, мы бы делали остановки на разные развлечения по дороге.
- 00:09:57,868 --> 00:09:59,698 - Да. - Эй, Корв!
- 00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:01,328 Кажется, тебе начинает нравиться Земля?
- 00:10:01,328 --> 00:10:03,248 Должен признать, что благодаря Фанбакету
- 00:10:03,248 --> 00:10:05,998 я не так спешу починить корабль.
- 00:10:05,998 --> 00:10:07,298 О боже, я сейчас заплачу.
- 00:10:08,878 --> 00:10:11,008 Фанбакет, вот твой напиток.
- 00:10:12,588 --> 00:10:14,388 Нам стоит поискать его в толпе.
- 00:10:16,598 --> 00:10:19,768 Как дела? Я Терри, это Корво.
- 00:10:19,768 --> 00:10:21,478 - Мы инопланетяне. - Пододвиньтесь,
- 00:10:21,478 --> 00:10:24,098 - чтобы мы могли присоединиться. - Что это за придурки, бро?
- 00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,358 - Нет. - О, да он просто прикалывается.
- 00:10:26,358 --> 00:10:28,438 - Эй, мы взяли тебе напиток, Фанбакет. - Раскрой глаза, бро.
- 00:10:28,438 --> 00:10:31,238 - Фанбакет тебе с нами. - Я... стоп, я не понимаю.
- 00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,148 С? Что ты имеешь в виду?
- 00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:34,318 Он имеет в виду "пошли вы", бро.
- 00:10:34,318 --> 00:10:36,698 Я создал Фанбакета с помощью квантового инжектора.
- 00:10:36,698 --> 00:10:37,948 Он принадлежит нам.
- 00:10:37,948 --> 00:10:41,368 Я никому не принадлежу. Я существую.
- 00:10:41,368 --> 00:10:43,418 Но-но серфинг, Тайланд.
- 00:10:43,418 --> 00:10:45,708 Теперь я дружу с Трэвисом и Эйври.
- 00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:48,128 Не считайте меня просто каким-то тупым героем тв-шоу.
- 00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:50,258 К тому же, мы не носим громадные робы.
- 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,718 Это церемониальное одеяние.
- 00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,758 Ну все. Валите отсюда.
- 00:10:56,678 --> 00:10:57,928 До встречи, придурки.
- 00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:00,928 Какого хрена, Корво? Что происходит?
- 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,478 Кто, черт возьми, эти парни? Смотри сюда!
- 00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:04,228 У меня мисизм! Из меня выходят мисистики!
- 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,518 Мисистики выходят из наших тел только во время сильного стресса.
- 00:11:06,518 --> 00:11:07,938 Божечки, такое было только в академии,
- 00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,818 когда они заставили нас принять душ вместе.
- 00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:12,938 Как говорят местные, мы "сквончимся".
- 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:14,778 - Это значит, мы не можем сдерживаться. - Чувак...
- 00:11:14,778 --> 00:11:16,198 Но почему так больно?
- 00:11:16,198 --> 00:11:18,278 Наши тела не рассчитаны на эмоциональные перегрузки.
- 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,238 Есть вероятность, что мы перегреемся и умрем.
- 00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:22,448 Мне нельзя умирать. У меня есть список предсмертных дел.
- 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,918 Я еще не потрогал дельфина и не поучаствовал в телешоу.
- 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,078 Мне суждено влюбиться в поезде на пути в Индию
- 00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:28,668 в женщину немного старше меня.
- 00:11:28,668 --> 00:11:31,128 Мы должны понять, чем те парни лучше нас.
- 00:11:33,048 --> 00:11:35,128 Они просто зависают вместе. - Здесь что-то не так.
- 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,218 Мы ведь тоже так делали.
- 00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:39,388 Черт!
- 00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:43,018 Какого хрена? Вы следите за мной?
- 00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:45,228 Боже мой, вы только посмотрите, во что они одеты.
- 00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:47,978 Да они же пытались скопировать наш прикид.
- 00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:49,608 Жалкое зрелище.
- 00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,978 - Да мы всегда так одеваемся. - Эй, поймите уже наконец,
- 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:55,028 Фанбакет теперь с нами. - Перестаньте плакать как девчонки!
- 00:11:55,028 --> 00:11:56,488 Сам ты девчонка, идиот!
- 00:11:58,158 --> 00:11:59,568 Да пошел ты, Фанбакет!
- 00:12:04,198 --> 00:12:05,998 Плохой Пупа! Выплюнь ее! Выплюнь!
- 00:12:05,998 --> 00:12:08,288 Да уж, воняет там жутко.
- 00:12:08,288 --> 00:12:11,208 Похоже, что он съел гнилое яблоко или типа того.
- 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,088 Почему все просто не может быть по-старому?
- 00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:17,798 Персонажи из телека были настоящими, а Фанбакет не вел себя как придурок.
- 00:12:17,798 --> 00:12:21,508 Фанбакет был даже слишком настоящим. Фантбакет 2 получится лучше.
- 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,008 Да-да-да!
- 00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,928 Сделай так, чтобы он любил нас, Корво. И добавь всяких наворотов.<b></b>
- 00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:27,938 Сделай так, чтобы он никогда нас не бросил.
- 00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:34,228 Кто хочет пойти в поход?!
- 00:12:34,858 --> 00:12:37,238 - Нет, мы пойдем в клуб. - Засунь в меня свой причиндал.
- 00:12:37,238 --> 00:12:39,198 Нужно еще поработать над его фирменными фразочками.
- 00:12:39,198 --> 00:12:40,158 Все нормально.
- 00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:42,908 Готовы зажечь? Всем отличного вечера.
- 00:12:44,618 --> 00:12:48,958 Ха-ха, Фанбакет 2, ты определенно отличный танцор.
- 00:12:48,958 --> 00:12:51,208 Я пришел сюда, чтобы сделать две вещи.
- 00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,878 Ауч.
- 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,838 - Вы готовы зажечь?
- 00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:58,428 Всем плевать на вашу жалкую копию Фанбакета.
- 00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:01,338 Ты завидуешь. Наш усовершенствованный Фанбакет превосходит тебя во всем.
- 00:13:01,338 --> 00:13:04,808 Это же просто какой-то уродец. Вы сейчас сами себя позорите.
- 00:13:05,598 --> 00:13:07,428 Что происходит? Боже!
- 00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:11,348 - Невидимые силы тянут нас друг к другу. - Эй, перестаньте!
- 00:13:11,348 --> 00:13:12,688 Прочь от нашего Фанбакета.
- 00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:14,608 - Квантовый инжектор. - Помогите, помогите!
- 00:13:14,608 --> 00:13:18,028 Кажется, ткани их клеток пытаются воссоединиться.
- 00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,528 Вы готовы зажечь?
- 00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:27,748 Нет-нет-нет!
- 00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:42,178 Эм, могу заказать навынос?
- 00:13:42,178 --> 00:13:45,468 Отлично, можно нам пару стаканчиков с собой. Спасибо.
- 00:13:52,808 --> 00:13:54,938 Как думаешь, люди разозлятся на нас за это?
- 00:13:54,938 --> 00:13:57,398 Успокойся, Терри. Это может быть чей угодно мутант.
- 00:13:57,398 --> 00:14:01,818 Терри, Корво!
- 00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:03,198 Надо что-то делать.
- 00:14:03,198 --> 00:14:06,158 - Зачем тебе столько кукол? - А зачем тебе столько бластеров?
- 00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:08,618 - Мы ведь инопланетяне. - Это уже перебор.
- 00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:10,708 Последний раз Лидию Джонсон видели в понедельник.
- 00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:12,578 Ее родители умоляют сообщить любую информацию,
- 00:14:12,578 --> 00:14:14,328 которая поможет ее вернуть.
- 00:14:14,328 --> 00:14:16,338 Удачи им.
- 00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:19,128 Лидия, это Рэнди. Хватит страдать херней, возвращайся домой.
- 00:14:19,838 --> 00:14:23,468 Чтоб тебя, мне сейчас тоже непросто. Не думал, что буду так скучать.
- 00:14:23,468 --> 00:14:25,718 Да уж, оказывается, моему отчиму не плевать на меня.
- 00:14:25,718 --> 00:14:27,718 А мы получим компенсацию? Или как это работает?
- 00:14:27,718 --> 00:14:30,388 Срочные новости! Сообщают, что Фанбакет реален.
- 00:14:30,388 --> 00:14:32,438 - Блин, крошка, из тебя выходят мисистики. - О, нет!
- 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,478 Да, потому что нас преследует полиция.
- 00:14:34,478 --> 00:14:36,188 Почему люди так переживают за своих детей?
- 00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:38,358 - Мне казалось, им нравится их делать. - Что же делать нам?
- 00:14:38,358 --> 00:14:41,608 Типичная ситуация в духе "убить шлюшку в Вегасе".
- 00:14:41,608 --> 00:14:43,698 Если будете тянуть время, станет только хуже.
- 00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:46,578 Отпустите меня, и я попрошу их посадить вас в хорошую тюрьму.
- 00:14:47,238 --> 00:14:49,198 - Можем растворить ее. - Принесу кислоту.
- 00:14:50,578 --> 00:14:52,578 - Так нельзя. - Она права.
- 00:14:52,578 --> 00:14:54,998 Нужно поливать сбоку, как кетчупом. - Вы не можете просто убить меня.
- 00:14:54,998 --> 00:14:59,208 Не переживай, мы посадим в землю твои останки, и они вырастут в новую прекрасную девочку.
- 00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,088 Это не так работает! Можете просто стереть мне память?
- 00:15:02,088 --> 00:15:03,628 Что такое память?
- 00:15:08,848 --> 00:15:12,018 Стой, здесь нельзя парковаться. Завтра тут будет уборка улиц.
- 00:15:17,108 --> 00:15:18,398 Вы не видели уменьшающий луч?
- 00:15:18,398 --> 00:15:20,478 Обычно он рядом с мороженицей, которой мы не пользуемся.
- 00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,818 Эй, вообще-то я замораживаю в ней йогурт.
- 00:15:22,818 --> 00:15:26,448 - Такая неловкая ситуация. - Зачем вы делаете лоботомию однокласснице?
- 00:15:26,448 --> 00:15:28,578 Несмотря на то, что множество ученых уже исследовали его
- 00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:31,078 на протяжении сотни лет, человеческий мозг - все еще загадка.
- 00:15:31,078 --> 00:15:32,948 А еще она обижала нас в школе.
- 00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:35,498 Все обижают их. Не я это придумала.
- 00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,748 Школа - отстой, понятно? Нам там не нравится.
- 00:15:37,748 --> 00:15:39,838 Не важно, нравится вам или нет. У нас есть задание.
- 00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,588 Когда что-то идет не по-вашему, нельзя просто поддаться эмоциям
- 00:15:42,588 --> 00:15:46,258 и начать делать все, что захочется. Например, создавать нового Фанбакета.
- 00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:49,848 - Что? - Нельзя уменьшать людей.
- 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:52,678 Но мы же не собирались убивать ее. Только немного перенастроили.
- 00:15:52,678 --> 00:15:53,978 У нас проблемы?
- 00:15:53,978 --> 00:15:57,228 Обсудим ваше наказание позже. А сейчас зашейте ее и отпустите.
- 00:15:57,228 --> 00:16:02,068 Вашим наказанием станет тюрьма до конца ваших дней.
- 00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:05,108 И поверьте, чудаковатым инопланетянам в тюрьме
- 00:16:05,108 --> 00:16:07,238 придется несладко.
- 00:16:09,408 --> 00:16:11,578 Кому я там собиралась надрать задницу?
- 00:16:11,578 --> 00:16:14,408 - Продолжайте так делать, пока она не успокоится. - Кто-то отправится в тюрьму.
- 00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,788 Кто-то... Я подсолнух.
- 00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:20,338 Да уж, от этого она и правда тупеет.
- 00:16:20,338 --> 00:16:22,498 Как только люди пьют эту гадость?
- 00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:25,628 Дела бы пошли быстрее, будь у нас Mountain Dew.
- 00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:35,518 - Можешь ехать ровнее? - Я пытаюсь, Терри.
- 00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:56,078 Я думаю, нам стоит избавить его от страданий.
- 00:16:56,078 --> 00:16:57,958 Это должен сделать я.
- 00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:00,288 Знаешь, Терри, сегодня я усвоил один важный урок.
- 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,458 Нельзя проецировать собственные желания на других существ.
- 00:17:03,458 --> 00:17:05,208 - Вот блин, лови его. - Блин блинский.
- 00:17:06,588 --> 00:17:08,468 Ты не виноват, Комбо-Фанбакет.
- 00:17:08,468 --> 00:17:10,178 Нам не следовало идти на поводу у эмоций.
- 00:17:10,468 --> 00:17:13,348 Все будет хорошо. Перед тем, как вернуться в торговый центр, ты отправишься
- 00:17:13,348 --> 00:17:15,428 в свое последнее путешествие. - Торговый центр?
- 00:17:15,428 --> 00:17:16,478 Что? Я думал, мы его убьем.
- 00:17:16,478 --> 00:17:17,808 Думал, сбросим его с края.
- 00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:20,438 Ёлки-палки, Терри. Видишь его, торговый центр?
- 00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:21,688 Вон там, внизу.
- 00:17:21,688 --> 00:17:23,318 Это самый человечный способ,
- 00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:25,398 чтобы попрощаться, мой милый друг.
- 00:17:25,398 --> 00:17:26,398 Все закончится через...
- 00:17:27,108 --> 00:17:29,948 35-58 секунд, зависит от скорости ветра.
- 00:17:30,608 --> 00:17:33,328 - Стойте! - Оставьте нас в покое, Тревис и Эйвери.
- 00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:34,948 Вы достаточно натворили. - Не убивайте его.
- 00:17:34,948 --> 00:17:36,698 Мы любим его. - Но ведь он монстр.
- 00:17:36,698 --> 00:17:39,958 Бро, нам плевать, как он выглядит и что он жестокий,
- 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,038 или что он слился с другим Фанбакетом
- 00:17:42,038 --> 00:17:43,628 на молекуларном уровне.
- 00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,548 Он все еще Фанбакет.
- 00:17:45,548 --> 00:17:48,418 Давай же. Мы поймаем тебя, братишка.
- 00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:59,728 Корво. Терри.
- 00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:02,058 Тише, тише. Все в порядке, дружище.
- 00:18:05,898 --> 00:18:08,188 Тебе не кажется, что это мы злодеи в этой ситуации?
- 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,358 Мы же инопланетяне. Наши пути неисповедимы.
- 00:18:10,358 --> 00:18:12,528 Стандарты человечества не для нас.
- 00:18:12,528 --> 00:18:14,988 А теперь давай валить отсюда, пока нас не арестовали.
- 00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:16,618 Это что, детская больница?
- 00:18:16,618 --> 00:18:18,288 Мне кажется, они не должны так взрываться.
- 00:18:18,288 --> 00:18:20,538 Они что, хранят там тонны взрывоопасной жидкости?
- 00:18:20,538 --> 00:18:23,418 В детской больнице? Неудивительно, что эти дети болеют.
- 00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:25,748 Кстати, когда вернемся домой, выбрось эту мороженицу.
- 00:18:25,748 --> 00:18:27,458 Ты не замораживаешь в ней йогурт. - Да Боже мой!
- 00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:29,588 Ты сидел и весь час думал об этом? Вообще-то, я ей пользуюсь.
- 00:18:29,588 --> 00:18:30,718 Это в корне неверно.
- 00:18:31,548 --> 00:18:33,138 - Эй, вы! - Что уже случилось?
- 00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:34,798 Я же вам говорил, что не трогал компьютер.
- 00:18:34,798 --> 00:18:37,508 Я слежу за вами, мерзкие маленькие инопланетяшки.
- 00:18:37,508 --> 00:18:39,308 Думаете, раз сегодня вы не сделали ничего плохого,
- 00:18:39,308 --> 00:18:42,058 то сможете избежать наказания? Вы уже давно облажались.
- 00:18:42,058 --> 00:18:44,058 Я за вами слежу.
- 00:18:44,058 --> 00:18:46,438 Но мы ничего не сделали. Почему вы всегда на нас злитесь?
- 00:18:48,438 --> 00:18:51,778 Я была маленькой, а теперь я большая.
- 00:18:51,778 --> 00:18:53,108 Я намочила штанишки.
- 00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:54,658 Очень смешно.
- 00:18:54,658 --> 00:18:56,868 Лидия, ты супер.
- 00:18:56,868 --> 00:19:00,498 Каждый раз, когда я думаю, что знаю сленг, вы, ребятишки, все меняете.
- 00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,908 Да уж, люди такие тупые.
- 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,498 Думаю, мы никогда не попадемся.
- 00:19:03,498 --> 00:19:05,628 Что это значит? Попадетесь? На чем попадетесь?
- 00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:06,838 Ну, я хотел сказать...
- 00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:09,588 Вы что, ребят, сначала уменьшили эту девочку, а потом залезли ей в голову,
- 00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:10,878 чтобы замести следы?
- 00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:15,298 Вы что, полили ее мозг диетической Колой?
- 00:19:15,298 --> 00:19:18,258 Это ужасно. С вами нужно что-то делать.
- 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,058 Вы не можете и дальше жить нормальной жизнью,
- 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:21,558 не понеся никакого наказания.
- 00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:24,018 Нельзя делать вид, будто бы ничего не случилось.
- 00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:28,398 Мне кажется, те парни действительно любят Фанбакета
- 00:19:28,398 --> 00:19:31,148 на более глубоком и чувственном уровне, чем смогли бы мы.
- 00:19:31,148 --> 00:19:32,938 Знаешь, мы могли бы пригласить их на вечер игр.
- 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,858 - О, хрустящая корочка, как я люблю. - Подожди-ка, KFC?
- 00:19:35,858 --> 00:19:38,778 - Разве мы не наказаны? - Пускай мы и застряли в мире,
- 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,908 находящемся на грани массового вымирания и раздираемом особями,
- 00:19:41,908 --> 00:19:44,328 которые уничтожают окружающую среду, но пока мы здесь
- 00:19:44,328 --> 00:19:48,708 дышим этим мерзким отравленным воздухом, мы есть друг у друга,
- 00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,998 и вас не заменил бы и миллион Фанбакетов.
- 00:19:50,998 --> 00:19:53,258 - Что такое Фанбакет? - С этого дня мы станем лучшими друзьями
- 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,928 и пересмотрим все фильмы "Гарри Поттера".
- 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:57,588 Я не это имел в виду. Теперь мы все внимание будем уделять нашей миссии,
- 00:19:57,588 --> 00:20:00,848 но также мы станем семьей и бла-бла в том же духе.
- 00:20:00,848 --> 00:20:03,098 Мы можем носить одинаковые костюмы и участвовать в дефиле.
- 00:20:03,098 --> 00:20:05,188 - Все, ничего не слышу. - Два друга держатся за руки на улице.
- 00:20:05,188 --> 00:20:07,148 И все такие: "Вы что, любовники?" Но нет, мы просто друзья.
- 00:20:07,148 --> 00:20:09,188 Кстати, что за миссия?
- 00:20:09,188 --> 00:20:11,898 О ней постоянно все говорят, а Корво бесится,
- 00:20:11,898 --> 00:20:13,818 но на самом деле никто толком ничего не знает.
- 00:20:13,818 --> 00:20:16,738 Когда Пупа достигнет зрелости, он эволюционирует,
- 00:20:16,738 --> 00:20:19,568 а затем разрушит и заново построит эту планету по подобию нашего мира,
- 00:20:19,568 --> 00:20:22,118 используя информацию, что хранится в его ДНК. Ну и типа того.
- 00:20:22,118 --> 00:20:24,788 Да уж, похоже, у нашего Пупы очень важное задание.
- 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,828 - Гадость - Это омерзительно, Пупа.
- 00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:29,958 Перестань есть мисистиков. Плохая Пупа.
- 00:20:31,588 --> 00:20:34,048 Ух, даже не верится, что нам не влетело за сегодня.
- 00:20:34,048 --> 00:20:36,548 Корво был в ярости. - Не стоило нам похищать ребенка.
- 00:20:36,548 --> 00:20:38,258 Если честно, не знаю, о чем я тогда думал.
- 00:20:38,928 --> 00:20:43,308 С этого момента мы будем уменьшать только взрослых. Всем плевать, когда пропадает какой-то болван.
- 00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,808 Спокойной ночи, уборщик. Я сделала тебе футболку из салфетки.
- 00:20:46,808 --> 00:20:49,018 Если не подойдет по размеру, я ее немного подрежу.
- 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,133 Damn it. Stupid thing, come on.
- 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,470 Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo. Work those blue arms.
- 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,890 Stop undressing me with your eyes, Debbie. I just want to work out here in peace.
- 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,684 I'm not out here for your sexual titillation.
- 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,311 Hey, the replicants missed the bus. Can you take them to school?
- 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,563 - I got stuff to do. - We didn't miss it.
- 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,065 - They purposely skipped our house. - I'm sure it was an accident.
- 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,984 The bus driver hates us because I tried to harvest
- 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,236 one small tiny sample of her eye.
- 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,280 Can we please go? Homeroom is where I decide
- 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,282 who I'm going to crush on for the day.
- 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,576 - No, I'm busy. - Oh, come on, Korvo. Don't be like that.
- 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,327 You should be helping me construct the Earth drill.
- 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,788 I have to take the Pupa to the dog park. We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.
- 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,916 Oh, oh, is the dog park more important than mining nickel alloys
- 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,668 so we can repair our spaceship?
- 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,836 Uh, I don't know, Korvo.
- 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,422 Can nickel alloy catch a Frisbee in the air?
- 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,840 We won't know until we get some.
- 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,800 You know, sometimes it feels like I'm the only Shlorpion
- 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,594 who wants to escape this garbage planet.
- 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,596 Hey, hey, you're the one who chose to land here.
- 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,765 My scans didn't indicate it was a human-infested crap hole
- 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,850 without a single redeeming value, Terry.
- 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:02,437 We have been stranded here for a year. How is that not a problem for you?
- 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,209 Come on, all right. Come to papo.
- 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,294 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,554 Oh, you guys, there was a shooting at the dog park,
- 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,432 but you would never know 'cause these dogs are just so happy, aren't they?
- 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,227 Yeah, you like those little stumps? You gonna lick 'em?
- 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,480 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.</i>
- 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,190 <i>Until the asteroid hit.</i>
- 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,944 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
- 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,654 <i>and escaped into, uh, the space,</i>
- 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,740 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
- 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,993 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
- 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,495 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
- 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,413 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
- 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,874 <i>This is-this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?</i>
- 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,334 <i>This is ridiculous.</i>
- 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,086 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.</i>
- 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,337 <i>And one of these days, I'm gonna blow it up</i>
- 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,797 <i>and just be done with the whole stupid thing,</i>
- 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,006 <i>I swear to God.</i>
- 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,392 Oh, look at those cute little feet.
- 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,352 They're really growing in. Look at 'em go!
- 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,728 - Don't look at them. - I have the whole day planned out.
- 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,439 We're gonna go buy lottery tickets, we're gonna win a million dollars,
- 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,943 but then, we give it all as a tip to a waitress and totally change her life.
- 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,529 You go, girlfriend. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.
- 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,490 My plan is to sit in dim light, spray nutrients on my stumps,
- 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,827 so-until they grow out, and I'll study repair manuals.
- 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413 Korvotron, come on. I know Earth is a little more
- 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,707 inhabited with sentient life than you expected,
- 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,000 but it can still be fun.
- 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,835 You just got to roll, roll with the homies.
- 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,421 I'm not gonna ever like it here. Stop trying to cheer me up.
- 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,089 I just-- let me grow my feet in peace.
- 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,340 Whatever, Korvo.
- 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,059 Huh.
- 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,521 You ever get the feeling people think we're weird?
- 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:12,150 No, and as a scientist/bounty hunter, I am extremely perceptive.
- 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,403 E.T. sucks. Go back to Uranus.
- 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,614 We're actually not even from thisquadrant.
- 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,075 I don't think we should have to go to school with aliens
- 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:24,037 who are probably gonna zap us with their ray guns.
- 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,247 Uh-uh-uh. Don't be racist. We don't zap people.
- 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,250 Are you filthy fucking aliens fighting in the hallway?
- 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,628 Principal Cooke's office, now.
- 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,297 Who, who is this, uh, Funbucket character?
- 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,673 - Why do you care? - I was unaware
- 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,342 of a second sentient species on this planet.
- 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,385 <i>Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.</i>
- 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,304 Hm, I, I like that catchphrase.
- 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,972 Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em.
- 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,849 "Bingo bango" is the tip of the iceberg, my friend.
- 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,978 Oh, my. Funbucket appears to have a healthy disdain for humans.
- 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,231 Oh, yeah. One time he fed magic beans to Mr. Shromer
- 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,523 and it turned him into a bush.
- 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,816 It turned him into a bush!
- 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,068 Oh, he must have hated that.
- 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,778 - Did he hate it? - Oh, yeah, he was pissed.
- 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,863 Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow any rules, does he?
- 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,574 It appears that he has a secret lab in a little boy's basement.
- 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,159 Yeah, they use it to solve small mysteries.
- 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,746 You know, simple math equations, or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.
- 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,916 This guy is fascinating. I wish we lived near Funbucket.
- 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,126 We could hang out and talk shit about humans all day and night.
- 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,254 Do science. You know, Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.
- 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,296 Don't you think, Terry?
- 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,299 Bet he hates Earth and their stupid monthly calendar as much as I do.
- 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,884 <i>Saturday, come on down</i>
- 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,053 <i>to the Gretchen-Darth Mall for the annual mega sale.</i>
- 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:25,556 <i>Deals in every store, and a chance to win one of St. Peter's finger bones!</i>
- 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,394 <i>With special appearances by Funbucket and Rungo the Clown.</i>
- 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,561 Oh, Rungo's legit.
- 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,272 He has orange hair and his house is a boot.
- 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,731 - I think he lives in Michigan. - Wait.
- 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,733 Funbucket is gonna be at our mall?
- 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:36,859 We could meet him.
- 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,111 Oh, dude, you could compare notes with him.
- 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,697 He could help us with the mission. Huh? You like that M-word, don't you?
- 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,115 We have to watch all of these episodes, Terry.
- 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,491 I need to learn everything about Funbucket.
- 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,326 Does he have a penis? Does he reproduce?
- 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,245 I don't-I don't know, man. I mean, it hasn't come up.
- 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,038 Yeah, I mean, I think he probably does have a penis.
- 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,999 - It's probably huge. - That's good, that's good, Terry.
- 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,251 We have to know all this stuff before we meet him at the mall.
- 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,086 Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?
- 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,047 - About what? - Someone broke into the computer lab
- 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,591 and reprogrammed the iMacs with artificial intelligence.
- 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,094 <i>I used to be a cop. My name is Richard Michaels.</i>
- 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,722 This thing's been trying to arrest everyone that uses it.
- 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,807 You're just blaming us because we're aliens.
- 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,560 Everyone has access to those computers.
- 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,728 <i>Freeze, dirtbag.</i>
- 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,771 We found this stuck in the door.
- 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,857 Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.
- 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,483 - Why does that one look new? - Uh...
- 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,152 'cause I keep it in a glove.
- 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,530 From now on, I want nothing but perfect behavior from you two.
- 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,408 No terraforming the gym or making pod people
- 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,452 or any of that <i>Outer Limits</i> bullshit.
- 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,455 You act like regular kids, or you will be expelled.
- 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,583 Now get the fuck outta here!
- 00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:37,211 Oh, you should have their asses on the street already.
- 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,838 You need to sack up, Cooke.
- 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:45,928 We'll get them soon enough, Ms. Frankie. And then you'll see how powerful I am.
- 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,263 Come here.
- 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,601 I wish they would just treat us like regular kids.
- 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,520 Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.
- 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:58,608 I'm gonna kick your ass. Let me out of here!
- 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,402 I cannot believe we are actually going to meet Funbucket.
- 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,321 Do my robes look okay, Terry?
- 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,531 Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him if he can breathe underwater.
- 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867 I-I-I bet he can. Honestly, I just-- maybe I shouldn't.
- 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,285 No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.
- 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,661 Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed
- 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,413 to learn there are other non-humans on this planet.
- 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,123 He will no longer feel frustrated and alone.
- 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,500 I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo.
- 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,710 You think he's a Nintendo guy? Oh, what if he's a Sega man?
- 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,380 Do you think he has a mission, too? Oh, oh, I bet he does.
- 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,091 Do you think his fur is coarse and hard or soft and silky?
- 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,926 - Hm, odd. - What, what?
- 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,054 Funbucket is larger than he appears on TV.
- 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,180 Yeah, he is.
- 00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,308 Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?
- 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,935 - Ew! - What the fuck is going on?
- 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:36,312 There's a line. You need to get back in line, sir-ah!
- 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,481 It's just some kid. What did you do with Funbucket?
- 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,899 I demand to see Funbucket.
- 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,318 Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.
- 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,237 Yes he is. We watch him on TV.
- 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,406 - It's a kids' show. - A kids' show?
- 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,619 Get out of here, go!
- 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,330 Funbucket isn't real?
- 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,873 Funbucket has to be real. He has to be.
- 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,875 - TV lied to us. It lied. - That's impossible.
- 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,128 All of human history is recorded on the TV.
- 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,379 I don't even know what's real anymore.
- 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,006 Are submarines real? Are penguins real?
- 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,301 I don't know, probably not. Wait, the quantum injector.
- 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,096 Is <i>Friends</i> real? Is <i>Frasier</i> real?
- 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,932 If <i>Frasier</i> isn't real, I'm going to kill myself!
- 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,559 How can you even think of work right now?
- 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,603 The quantum injector. Primarily used for repairing organic emitters
- 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,523 in the matter transfer array, but with a few small adjustments--
- 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191 We can make Funbucket real.
- 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,528 We need Funbucket. He could help us with the mission, Terry.
- 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,571 He's a man of science.
- 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,532 You saw the lab he had with that child in the kid's basement.
- 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,451 You saw the shit he was doing in that one episode.
- 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,744 We need him to be as real as possible.
- 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:38,666 Every single little tiny smidgen of adjustments will matter.
- 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,048 Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.
- 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,553 Funbucket, I'm Korvo and this is Terry, and we are your new best friends.
- 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,972 You guys aren't gonna try to fuck me, are you?
- 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,141 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,357 Bingo bango!
- 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,083 You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.
- 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,503 Retail therapy, baby.
- 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,464 Hey, that's not your catchphrase. Say bingo bango.
- 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,842 - Uh, bingo bango. - Oh, there it is.
- 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,094 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Check out who's real.
- 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,305 Just let me past, will you? Stop it.
- 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:38,726 I think you might maybe owe our very real friend an apology.
- 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:43,064 - I'm sorry I thought you weren't real. - Yeah, it's... okay.
- 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,567 Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter at Bloomie's.
- 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,486 We can get you all done up for the club tonight.
- 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,779 I like how I look.
- 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,656 Funbucket, this is not gonna be a discussion.
- 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:56,035 We want you to be dolled up and spruced up so that the people are like, oh, damn.
- 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,371 Who are these cool guys at the club with a Funbucket?
- 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,707 Look, make me big right now.
- 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,293 I'm gonna beat you up really bad but I promise I won't kill you.
- 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379 Just do the maze. You're screwing up my metrics.
- 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,089 This is stupid. Are you sure we aren't gonna
- 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,049 get like, super duper crazy trouble for this?
- 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,801 Humans test lower species all the time.
- 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,887 Let's just let her go in a field so she can live with the animals.
- 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,848 And lose this data? Do you even want to study humans?
- 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,102 No! I want to eat lunch with friends and see movies with boys.
- 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,728 - Done! - I forgot to time you.
- 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398 - Do it again. - Man, this is fuckin' stupid.
- 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,275 I don't even know who you are anymore.
- 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,735 You used to be so scientific. Now you're just a jerk.
- 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,697 Continued experimentation could reveal why everyone is mean to us.
- 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,365 I just want to chill at the mall.
- 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,825 Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.
- 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,037 A-ha, damn. Look at this place.
- 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,414 It's Trim City!
- 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,250 Ooh, they have Channing Tatum's vodka.
- 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,420 Oh, dude, dude, dude, we should take Funbucket
- 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,005 on a road trip and go to New York City
- 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,257 and listen to podcasts and Gaffigan albums the whole way.
- 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,550 He's America's dad!
- 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,802 Oh, that would be quite the enjoyable experience.
- 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,722 Perhaps we could all stop at some fun roadside attractions along the way.
- 00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,557 Yes! Hey, Korv.
- 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,309 You think you're starting to warm up to Earth a little?
- 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,352 I must admit, with Funbucket around,
- 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,980 repairing the ship has lost a little bit of urgency.
- 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,190 Oh, my God, you're gonna make me cry.
- 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,068 Funbucket, we got your drink.
- 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,614 We should circumnavigate the crowd.
- 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,619 What up, my dudes? Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.
- 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,745 We're aliens.
- 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,496 Make room at the table so we may join you.
- 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,123 You know these dipshits, fam?
- 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,167 - No. - Oh, he's just kidding around.
- 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,294 - Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket. - Take a hint, bro.
- 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,213 - Funbucket's with us now. - I-- wait, wait, I don't understand.
- 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,300 - With? What do you mean? - He means go fuck yourself, bro.
- 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,552 I made Funbucket with a quantum injector.
- 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,928 Okay, he belongs to us.
- 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,349 Uh, I don't belong to anyone. I'm real.
- 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,267 Oh, but-but surfing, Thailand.
- 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,561 Travis and Avery are my friends now.
- 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,980 They don't treat me like some dumb TV sidekick.
- 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,107 Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.
- 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,692 This is ceremonial garb.
- 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,611 That's it. Get 'em the fuck out of here.
- 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,990 Later, dickholes.
- 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,785 What the hell, Korvo? What the hell?
- 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,453 - Who the hell were those guys? - Look at me.
- 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,205 I'm gooblering. I'm making gooblers.
- 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,374 Our bodies only make gooblers during extreme distress.
- 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,833 Oh, my God, I haven't goobled
- 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,669 since they made us shower together at the academy.
- 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,797 According to the Urban Dictionary, we've been "squinched."
- 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,632 - It means we've been cut loose. - Oh, man.
- 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,300 Why do I feel like this? It hurts.
- 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,260 Our bodies are not designed for this emotional overload.
- 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,221 There is a chance that we will overheat and die.
- 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,264 No, I-I can't die. I've got a bucket list.
- 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,767 I haven't touched a dolphin or been on <i>The Price Is Right.</i>
- 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,936 I'm supposed to fall in love on a train in India
- 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,646 and maybe the woman's a little bit older than me.
- 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,107 We have to figure out what those bros have that we don't.
- 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,860 - They're just hanging out. - That can't be right.
- 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,237 I mean, we do that, too.
- 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,365 Oh, fuck!
- 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,910 What the hell? Are you stalking me?
- 00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,204 Oh, my God. Look at what they're wearing.
- 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,707 Oh, shit, they tried to copy our outfits.
- 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,583 How pathetic is that?
- 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,210 We wear things like this all the time.
- 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,129 Bro, get a clue. Funbucket's done with you.
- 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,005 Will you stop crying, you babies?
- 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,465 You're a baby, idiot!
- 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,885 Fuck you, Funbucket!
- 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,098 Ooh!
- 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,725 Bad Pupa. Drop it, drop it.
- 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,018 Seriously, it smells really bad in there.
- 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,188 I think it ate, like, an old crabapple or something.
- 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,816 Why can't things just be the way they used to be?
- 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,653 TV was real and Funbucket liked us and wasn't a dick.
- 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,365 Funbucket was too real. Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.
- 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,992 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,870 Make him love us, Korvo. Give him all the bells and whistles.
- 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:29,081 Make it so he never leaves us.
- 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:35,087 Who wants to go camping?!
- 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,256 - No, we're going to the club. - Put your sin in me.
- 00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,049 His catchphrases need work.
- 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:39,967 They're fine.
- 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,012 Y'all ready for bisque? Good night, everybody.
- 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,809 Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2, you sure are an amazing dancer.
- 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,061 I've come here to do two things.
- 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,813 Oh.
- 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,816 - Y'all ready for bisque? - Hello.
- 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,652 Nobody cares about your janky knock-off Funbucket.
- 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,322 You are just jealous. Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.
- 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,823 Uh, this thing is a freak.
- 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,576 You're seriously embarrassing yourselves.
- 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,995 What's happening? Oh, God.
- 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,247 Unseen forces pulling us together.
- 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,541 Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that. Get away from our Funbucket.
- 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,877 - The quantum injector. Oh. - Help! Help!
- 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,380 Maybe the- I think their flesh matrixes are attempting to reconcile.
- 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549 Y'all ready for bisque?
- 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,890 No, no, no!
- 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,238 Hey, uh, you guys do to-go cups?
- 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,616 Great, could I get uh, just a couple to-go cups for the road? Thanks.
- 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,000 You don't think people are gonna get mad at us for this, right?
- 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,461 Terry, relax. That could be anyone's mutant.
- 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:02,049 Terry! Korvo!
- 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,175 We should do something.
- 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,635 Why do you need so many dolls?
- 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,303 Why do you need so many ray guns?
- 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,639 - Because we're aliens. - It just seems excessive.
- 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,850 <i>Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.</i>
- 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,685 <i>Her parents are pleading for any information</i>
- 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,478 <i>that leads to her safe return.</i>
- 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,313 Good luck with that.
- 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,775 <i>Lidia, it's Randy. Stop fucking around and come home.</i>
- 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,569 <i>God damn it, this is hard on me.</i>
- 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,445 <i>I didn't think I'd miss you this much.</i>
- 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,739 Wow, my stepdad actually does care.
- 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,700 <i>Do we get a reward too, or how does that work?</i>
- 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,369 <i>Breaking news, I am being told Funbucket is real--</i>
- 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,496 - Dang, girl, you gooblering. - Uh, oh, no.
- 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,540 Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.
- 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,125 Yeah, well, what is it with humans and their kids?
- 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,836 - I thought they liked making them. - What are we gonna do?
- 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,714 This is a classic "killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.
- 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,757 Stalling is only gonna make it worse.
- 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,594 Let me go and I'll tell them to put you in a good prison.
- 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,263 - We could dissolve her. - I'll get the acid.
- 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,641 - This is wrong. - She's right.
- 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,101 You should hit the side like ketchup.
- 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,060 You can't just kill me.
- 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:59,189 Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.
- 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,484 It doesn't work like that! Can you just wipe my brain?
- 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,611 What's a brain?
- 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,453 Wait, we can't park here. There's street cleaning tomorrow.
- 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375 Have you guys seen the shrink ray?
- 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,794 It's usually in the cupboard with the ice cream maker we never use.
- 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,796 Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt.
- 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,423 This is so embarrassing.
- 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,425 Why are you dissecting your classmate?
- 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,636 Despite having been examined by countless scientists
- 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,138 over hundreds of years, the human brain is still a mystery.
- 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,015 Plus, she was mean to us at school.
- 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,559 Everyone is mean to them. I didn't invent it.
- 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,728 School sucks, okay? We don't like it.
- 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,022 It doesn't matter if you like it. We're on a mission.
- 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,025 When things don't go your way, you can't just give in to emotion
- 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,320 and do whatever you want like make a new Funbucket.
- 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,823 - What? - Uh, you can't shrink people.
- 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,743 We weren't gonna kill her. We were just reprogramming her a little.
- 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,121 - Are we in trouble? - We will discuss your grounding later.
- 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,706 Sew her up and let her go.
- 00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:02,044 Your grounding is going to be prison for the rest of your lives.
- 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,172 And let me tell you, being a weird alien in jail
- 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,299 is not going to be pretty.
- 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,553 Whose ass was I gonna kick again?
- 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,138 Just keep doing that until she's cool.
- 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,515 Someone's going to prison.
- 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,768 Someone's-I'm a sunflower.
- 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,396 Wow, it really is making her dumber.
- 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,690 I can't believe humans drink this stuff.
- 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,609 This would be going a lot faster if we had some Mountain Dew.
- 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,536 - Uh, will you drive straight? - The effort is already being made, Terry.
- 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,140 I guess we should, uh, put it out of its misery.
- 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,017 No, I should.
- 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,686 You know, Terry, I've learned an important lesson today.
- 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,522 You can't project your own wants and desires on other creatures--
- 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,274 - Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it. - Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.
- 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,360 This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.
- 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,237 We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.
- 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,490 It's gonna be okay. We're gonna have one last great adventure
- 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,492 - before you go live at the mall. - The mall?
- 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,702 What? I thought we were gonna kill him.
- 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,162 I thought we were gonna throw him off the edge.
- 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,665 God damn it, Terry. See it, the mall? All the way down there?
- 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,417 This was the most humane way I could think of
- 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,461 - to end our time together, little friend.
- 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,087 It will all be over in...
- 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:30,549 between 35 and 58 seconds, depending on wind.
- 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:31,633 Stop.
- 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,385 Leave us alone, Travis and Avery.
- 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,012 - You've done enough. - Don't kill him.
- 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,680 - We love him. - But he's a monster.
- 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:40,017 Bro, we don't care what he looks like or if he's violent
- 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,102 or if he's been combined with another Funbucket
- 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,604 on a molecular level, bro.
- 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,522 He's still Funbucket.
- 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,525 Just, just do it. We'll catch you, broheim.
- 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,787 Korvo. Terry.
- 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,706 Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, buddy. It's okay.
- 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,253 Do you feel like maybe we're the bad people in all this?
- 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,466 We're aliens. Our ways are mysterious. We can't be judged by human standards.
- 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,010 Now let's get out of here before we get arrested for all this shit.
- 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,678 Is that the children's hospital?
- 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,430 Man, you don't really think of them blowing up like that.
- 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,599 I mean, what, are they storing giant tanks of flammable liquid?
- 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,435 In a children's hospital? No wonder all these kids are getting sick.
- 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,854 By the way, when we get home, you're throwing out that ice cream maker.
- 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,523 - You do not use it for yogurt. - Oh, my God.
- 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,732 Have you been sitting on that for an hour?
- 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,776 - I do too use it. - That is the opposite of true.
- 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,195 - Hey. - Oh, my God, what?
- 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,863 I told you, I didn't touch the computers.
- 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,491 I'm watching you, you creepy little fucking aliens.
- 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,409 You think just 'cause you didn't do anything bad today
- 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,204 you're gonna get away with it? Oh, you are on fucking blast.
- 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,039 I've got my eyes on you.
- 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,375 We didn't do anything. Why are you always mad at us? I--
- 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:53,048 I used to be small, but now, I am big. I'm peeing my pants.
- 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,716 So funny.
- 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,927 You're the best, Lidia.
- 00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,556 Every time I think I know the slang you kids use, you switch it up.
- 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,057 Wow, humans are dumb.
- 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,559 I guess we're never gonna get busted on anything.
- 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,686 What does that mean? Busted? Busted on what?
- 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:06,895 Uh, I-I mean...
- 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,689 Did you guys shrink this girl down
- 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,941 and then lobotomize her to cover your tracks?
- 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,192 Uh...
- 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:16,530 Did you dump Diet Coke in her exposed brain? That's horrible.
- 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,323 Something has to be done about you two.
- 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,618 You can't just go about your regular lives without some sort of punishment.
- 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,079 Things cannot go on as if nothing happened.
- 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,540 You know what, Terry?
- 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,458 I think those bros really did love Funbucket
- 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,128 in a much more deeper and sensual way than we ever could.
- 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,088 You know, we should invite them over for a game night.
- 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:37,259 - Ooh, extra crispy, my favorite. - Wait, KFC? Are we not in trouble?
- 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,804 We may be trapped on this world that's on the brink of mass extinction
- 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,223 plagued by a species that destroys the environment,
- 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,436 but while we're here, breathing in the disgusting poison air,
- 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,854 at least we have each other.
- 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,981 I could not replace you with a million Funbuckets.
- 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,150 - What's a Funbucket? - From now on, we're gonna be best friends
- 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,693 and we can watch all the <i>Harry Potter</i> movies back to back.
- 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,069 That's not what I meant.
- 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,156 Look, from now on, we focus on the mission but we also be a family
- 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,657 and all that kind of shit and do that stuff.
- 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,201 And we can wear matching costumes
- 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,911 - and compete in fashion shows-- - No, no, I'm covering my ears.
- 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,495 Just two friends holding hands down the street.
- 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,414 Everyone's like, are, are they lovers? No, we're friends.
- 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,249 What is the mission, anyway?
- 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,960 It gets brought up all the time and Korvo's always pissed,
- 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,879 but nobody's real clear about it.
- 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,673 When the Pupa reaches maturity, it'll evolve into its true form.
- 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,425 One that'll destroy and rebuild the planet
- 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,011 in the image of the home world using data stored in its DNA.
- 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,429 - That kind of stuff. - Wow!
- 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,890 Seems like a pretty important job to put Pupa--
- 00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,768 - Gross. - That's sick, Pupa.
- 00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,103 Don't eat the gooblers. Bad Pupa.
- 00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,107 Wow, I can't believe we didn't get in trouble today.
- 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,610 - Korvo was pissed. - We never should have kidnapped a kid.
- 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,403 Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.
- 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:43,283 From now on, we only shrink adults. No one cares when some jerk goes missing.
- 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,787 Good night, Mr. Janitor. I made you an outfit out of Kleenex.
- 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,456 If it doesn't fit, just rip it a little bit.
- 00:01:14,219 --> 00:01:15,262 ПРИБЛИЖЕНИЕ К ЯДРУ
- 00:01:34,573 --> 00:01:42,205 ХРЕНОВЫЙ КОНЕЦ
- 00:01:58,513 --> 00:02:11,985 ПРОДАНО
- 00:02:25,832 --> 00:02:40,805 {\an8}ХРЕНОВЫЙ КОНЕЦ
- 00:02:54,486 --> 00:02:56,196 ГОЛОВАСТИК ФАНБАКЕТ
- 00:02:56,738 --> 00:02:57,781 В КАКОЕ ВРЕМЯ ОТПРАВИМСЯ СЕГОДНЯ?
- 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,289 {\an8}ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА
- 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,289 ПРИНЕСИТЕ ФОТО ДЛЯ АЛЬБОМА КО ВТОРНИКУ. НИКАКОЙ ОБНАЖЁНКИ!
- 00:05:58,628 --> 00:05:59,921 ТОРГОВЫЙ ЦЕНТР ГРЕТХЕН-ДАРТ
- 00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:06,798 {\an8}Я ПЕРЕЖИЛ ЭТИ ГОРКИ
- 00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,221 КЛУБ "ЛОЩЁННЫЙ ГОРОД"
- 00:12:13,502 --> 00:12:14,753 САМОЛИКВИДАЦИЯ АКТИВИРОВАНА
- 00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:15,588 САМОЛИКВИДАЦИЯ ОТМЕНЕНА
- 00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:17,256 АКТИВИРОВАНА
- 00:12:17,256 --> 00:12:18,007 ОТМЕНЕНА
- 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:23,424 {\an8}СРОЧНО: ПРОПАЛА МЕСТНАЯ ДЕВОЧКА
- 00:16:17,788 --> 00:16:22,292 КОКА-КОЛА
- 00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:31,755 {\an8}ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА
- 00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:31,755 ПРИНЕСИТЕ ФОТО ДЛЯ АЛЬБОМА КО ВТОРНИКУ. НИКАКОЙ ОБНАЖЁНКИ!
- 00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:37,469 КАССА
- 00:21:36,022 --> 00:21:40,985 СВЕТЛОЙ ПАМЯТИ ДЖОЭЛА МАЙКЛА МЕНДЕЛА
- 00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:06,323 Фотографии в ежегодник до вторника. Никакой обнажёнки.
- 00:05:58,623 --> 00:05:59,953 Торговый центр Гретхен Дарт
- 00:12:13,493 --> 00:12:14,753 Самоуничтожение АКТИВИРОВАНО
- 00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:16,123 Самоуничтожение ОТМЕНЕНО
- 00:12:16,123 --> 00:12:17,253 Самоуничтожение АКТИВИРОВАНО
- 00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,333 Самоуничтожение ОТМЕНЕНО
- 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:23,463 Пропала местная девочка
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