Нестабильная серая дыра
Описание
Многие люди недолюбливают инопланетян и Корво это оскорбляет. Он запускает множество нанороботов в водопровод, чтобы они проникли в тела людей и собрали о них информацию. Таким образом, Корво узнаёт много интересного о своих соседях. Он вместе с Терри, зная желания людей, начинает всем угождать. Постепенно инопланетяне становятся популярными. Они даже решают баллотироваться в президенты местной ассоциации домовладельцев, чтобы устраивать жизнь своего района. У них намечаются дебаты с их главным конкурентом старушкой Рут, которые срывают наноботы, обретшие разум. Юмьюлак по-прежнему считает людей никчёмными существами, а Джесси пытается доказать ему обратное. Она использует чипы, которые временно, по нажатию кнопки, делают людей добрыми. Юмьюлак проникается тем, что даже самые плохие, по его мнению, люди оказываются на деле не такими уж и плохими. Он изъявляет желание пообщаться с действительно злыми людьми, чтобы понять, в чём их проблема. Юмьюлак отправляется в бар, в котором обитают наци-панки. Из бара репликантам приходится выходить с боем.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:04,879 <i>♪</i>
- 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,048 Whoa, hey. Oh, what is that thing?
- 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,800 Oh, don't throw that out. I can sell that on eBay.
- 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:12,595 - It has an unstable gray hole inside. - You're an unstable gray hole.
- 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,097 - JESSE: Nice. [snickers] - It's too big for the trash.
- 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,765 I'm gonna dump it behind the Burger King.
- 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,435 Don't, no, I can sell it and then buy a chocolate fountain
- 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,145 so I can stop making a mess in the microwave
- 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,521 and you won't have to yell at me anymore!
- 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,732 Look at the Pupa. I told you to stop giving the Pupa candy.
- 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,108 He can't eat candy, it gets him sick!
- 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,484 I didn't--I don't give him candy anymore.
- 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:27,402 Well, he's getting it from someone!
- 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,528 TERRY: God, one time. [tapping on door]
- 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:29,946 Oh great, now what.
- 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,367 The homeowners association is updating the rules again.
- 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,411 "Gardeners need to have marked trucks.
- 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,371 "No RV parking in the driveway.
- 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,666 All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim."
- 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,835 - Are you hearing this? - Ooh, we should totally get an RV.
- 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,963 It looks fine the way it is. I don't want it to blend into the house.
- 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,257 It's my whole thing, I'm the spaceship guy!
- 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,093 Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house!
- 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,095 If we had an RV, that probably wouldn't even be a big deal.
- 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,221 'Cause we could just live in an RV.
- 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,140 Stupid HOA, singling us out.
- 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,851 You know, Terry, this proves that everyone in the neighborhood hates us.
- 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,771 Oh, speak for yourself, man. I am extremely likable.
- 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,355 I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room
- 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,440 when I'm walking down the street?
- 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,025 - They're avoiding us! - They love us.
- 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,778 I think there's only one way to find out who's right.
- 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,779 - Nanobots. - Buy an RV.
- 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:11,696 Nan--Nanobots.
- 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,241 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.</i>
- 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,659 <i>Until the asteroid hit.</i>
- 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,413 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
- 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,373 <i>and escaped into, uh, the space,</i>
- 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,251 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
- 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,421 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
- 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,298 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
- 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,175 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
- 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,469 <i>This is--this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?</i>
- 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,845 [stammers] <i>This is ridiculous.</i>
- 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,599 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. People are stupid.</i>
- 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,392 <i>I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices</i>
- 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,436 <i>when you could just wear a thick, coarse robe.</i>
- 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,688 <i>It's the perfect garment. Boots and a robe. Easy.</i>
- 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:50,235 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,073 ♪
- 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you weren't shrinking kids down anymore?
- 00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,495 These are adults. I got a couple litterbugs,
- 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,039 a lady who had 15 items in the 12-item lane,
- 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,250 and a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed-jewel."
- 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,585 That's not wall worthy, that's you being a jerk.
- 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,462 Relax, they love it.
- 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,422 [people screaming]
- 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,882 Ha ha ha, look at 'em.
- 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:15,510 Seems like somebody needs to learn a lesson.
- 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,512 YUMYULACK: Hey, little guy!
- 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,889 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,683 -[laser pulsing] -[alarm ringing]
- 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,894 That's the alarm! Lucky for you, I've been teaching myself to hack at night
- 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,604 while you've been wasting your time sleeping.
- 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,481 Alexa, turn off alarm.
- 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,774 [alarm stops] ALEXA: <i>Alarm deactivated.</i>
- 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,152 - Stupid Alexa. Always listening. - Hold it right there! I'm armed!
- 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,653 Lethal force! Zap him with the bone zapper.
- 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:34,571 [laser zaps]
- 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,447 - Crap, now it's out of charge! - Bite down on your poison teeth!
- 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,448 Terry?
- 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,658 Gordon? [spits]
- 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:39,868 Wait, you-you work here?
- 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,954 Yup, yeah, man, it's my third job. I got three jobs, one, two, three.
- 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,081 - Got the three banger jobs, you know. - Oh, man, well, that's good news.
- 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,709 You guys just here to jump in and splash around the water pools?
- 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,211 Yeah, duh, but we also want to dump microscopic robots
- 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,297 in the town water supply so we can find out if people like us.
- 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,132 - Wait, what? - No, it's not what you think.
- 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:57,343 Everyone will unknowingly drink water contaminated with our nanobots,
- 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,053 which will harvest all their memories,
- 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,097 and then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here.
- 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,600 I think that sounds like a lot of fun, guys.
- 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,018 Hey, the room with the big pool of water
- 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,311 that everyone drinks from is right over here.
- 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,937 - Come on. - How do you, uh, know this guy?
- 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:08,897 He sold me a gun.
- 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,817 Be sure to break up the clumps or they might become sentient.
- 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,736 Hey, man, are you sure this is gonna work?
- 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:17,280 Well, it better, each one of these nanobot cost me 24 cents.
- 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,865 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,325 [nanobots clinking]
- 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:24,120 ♪
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,169 ♪
- 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,463 Each <i>Mortal Kombat</i> movie is better than the last.
- 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,756 I mean, they should reboot them.
- 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,716 Honestly, can you imagine how boffo the box office would be?
- 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,384 We forgot to check the nanobots!
- 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,886 -[door opens, closes] -[grunting on TV]
- 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,557 ♪
- 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,734 ♪
- 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,361 -[bird cawing] -[Pupa groans]
- 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,323 [cawing]
- 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,618 [gasps]
- 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,911 Oww!
- 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,580 -[caws] -[Pupa grunting]
- 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:10,875 Yah!
- 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,054 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it.
- 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:26,140 How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there?
- 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,059 I'm just kidding, I don't care.
- 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,186 I work at the water treatment plant, I'm not a cop.
- 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,815 Oh, hey, by the way, I got some heroin. You guys wanna do heroin?
- 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,528 It worked. We have pee-data on everyone in the neighborhood!
- 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,488 I can finally reduce people to statistics!
- 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,741 Blood type, what their favorite song is, what percentage gay they are--
- 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,368 Ooh! This is how much people like us!
- 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,578 What the hell? Trent from around the block doesn't like
- 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,498 that I let Pupa go number two on his lawn? Where the heck is he supposed to go?
- 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:53,960 Brooke and Diane both think I ask too many questions at the grocery store.
- 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,211 I'm from outer space!
- 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,255 It's not clear to me why you have to cook bread twice.
- 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:58,381 [loudly] Mitchell thinks I'm too loud!
- 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,341 I knew it! We're unlikable, aren't we?
- 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,844 Is it the sci-fi stuff? Do I smell bad? What is it?
- 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,722 Looks like people just generally don't like us! One guy hates you.
- 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,307 - Who? - This, uh--some dude Tyler.
- 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,933 I don't even know anyone named Tyler.
- 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,518 Ugh, it feels like I'm covered in bees!
- 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,520 Fuck this Tyler guy. What did I ever do to him?
- 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,981 We-we-we can act different, Korvo. I mean, we can make people like us.
- 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,983 I need to repair this godforsaken ship.
- 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,402 And if people don't like us, that will make that job
- 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,070 so much harder in so many ways.
- 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,740 So to be clear: I don't need to be liked, it's strictly a work necessity.
- 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,116 Well, I need to be liked!
- 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,076 Dang it, have you seen my shrink ray anywhere?
- 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,329 I'm hoping it didn't shrink. How ironic would that be.
- 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,621 - I hid it. - Give it back!
- 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,915 I will, but first I want to prove to you
- 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,668 that humans are mostly basically good life forms.
- 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,005 For the last couple months, you've been putting way too many people in the wall.
- 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,381 You need to pump the brakes, mister.
- 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,843 All I have to do is follow you around? Fine. Easy.
- 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,679 And you have to do all my homework and laundry for a week.
- 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,724 Hmmm... let me think. Uh, laundry's not my strong suit.
- 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,352 Um, dang it, did you hide my gun that makes people do what I want?
- 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,062 Yeah, I hid all your guns.
- 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,689 All the blue areas are pockets where people don't like us
- 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,732 as much as they should.
- 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,150 And over here in this green area,
- 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,944 that marks which houses give out the biggest candy bars on Halloween.
- 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,198 With a little extra effort, I think we can up our likability fast.
- 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:08,034 - Are you ready to do what it takes? - You mean sex stuff?
- 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,452 - It's possible. Yeah. - Then yes.
- 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,871 Then let's aggressively make people like us!
- 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,207 Shauna, the complete McNugget buddy collection.
- 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,376 - Here you go. - Jeremiah, here's a gold bar.
- 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,170 - You can put it up your butt. - Carson, it's your son.
- 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,506 He's alive again. There you go. Have fun.
- 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,341 [zapping]
- 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:27,720 - Courtesy of Korvo! - Oh my god, I can feel my legs!
- 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,349 I have legs! These are kind of hard to control.
- 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,101 No, no, no, no, no, no! [bubbling]
- 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:37,271 No traffic, no traffic! You're all gonna be early. Keep moving. You're welcome.
- 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,689 - Everybody's welcome. - You're getting there early!
- 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,274 You're getting there early! No traffic today.
- 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,276 - Terry and Korvo. - All right, Terry, that's enough.
- 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,444 L-L-let's go.
- 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,947 No, no, no, no, no! [horn blaring]
- 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,330 I don't wanna talk to Mr. Dutch, he's a dick.
- 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,083 He always eats lunch alone in his office.
- 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,293 Let's find out why, shall we?
- 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,711 Hey! Get outta here.
- 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,005 I had an extra pudding cup today, Mr. Dutch.
- 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,549 I thought you might want it.
- 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,634 I don't want any stupid pudding. I-- [babbling]
- 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,220 My ex-wife used to pack my lunch.
- 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,722 Ever since we separated, I've been doing it on my own.
- 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,599 I'm sorry if I've been kind of a dick this year.
- 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,642 I've--I've been going through a lot.
- 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,520 Everyone has shit to deal with, Mr. Dutch. You hang in there.
- 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,646 Thank you, Jesse.
- 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:22,150 You know what? Neither of you need to run the mile in next week's fitness test.
- 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,318 I'll just say you both got six minutes.
- 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,487 See? We were nice to someone who was mean,
- 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,239 and now we don't have to run the mile.
- 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,615 That's true. That's how it panned out.
- 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,118 Yeah, that might work on a sad, old, lonely gym teacher, but--
- 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,579 What about those mean surfer guys at Fourth Beach?
- 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,873 Ugh, I hate them. They're always mean to me.
- 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:41,335 Something tells me that today might be a little different. Wink.
- 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,379 Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Are you seeing this, Terry?
- 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,506 It's working! We're tricking people into being our friends!
- 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,592 Ah, this feels so good, I feel so whole!
- 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:48,718 We're popular!
- 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,429 Solar Opposites <i>will be right back after these set of--</i>
- 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,431 [stammers] <i>this set of subsequent advertisements.</i>
- 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,474 ♪
- 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,019 KORVO: <i>And now, back to</i> Solar Opposites.
- 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:01,105 <i>Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break</i>
- 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,983 <i>and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring.</i>
- 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,401 <i>Good for you, Mr. Moneybags.</i>
- 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,444 [people chattering]
- 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,112 Phil, I've got a brat with your name on it.
- 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,780 It's laser engraved right there in the middle, see?
- 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,116 How's that amicable divorce, A-A-Angie?
- 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,534 Phil, try the potato salad:
- 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,579 your stomach acid will break it down, and then you'll poop it out in a few days.
- 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:20,416 Look, this is the best town I've ever lived in, and I'm from space.
- 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,877 I should know a good town when I see one 'cause I've been to the moon.
- 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,129 Oh, oh, hey, hey. Don't hide from me over there, Delvin.
- 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,590 I wanna hear about that dental thing. Show me those chompers!
- 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,134 You and Korvo have gotten pretty popular around here, Ter.
- 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,678 Yeah, some people are just natural unifiers, I guess.
- 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,848 We have the juice. It's like a little charisma thing. Charisma action going on.
- 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,726 You guys should run for the president of the HOA.
- 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,603 Ruth, the old lady who runs it now?
- 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,897 We would be so happy to see that bitch go.
- 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,732 Some weird guy with a ponytail just told me
- 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,567 that if we ran for president of the HOA, we'd win!
- 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,194 Oh my, Terry, do you know what that means?
- 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,947 - We could park an RV in the driveway. - We could make all the rules around here.
- 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,490 No more "paint the ship."
- 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,367 No more "don't build a giant hole
- 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,869 in the middle of the road to capture children in."
- 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,539 I-I-I could do some crazy Disney's <i>Blank Check</i> style stuff,
- 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,375 like build a water slide that goes down under the ground with a window
- 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,460 and you can see the dinosaur diorama we built down there
- 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,503 and, oh my god, it would be so awesome.
- 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,005 Everyone would have to like us, by HOA law.
- 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,049 Which means they would have to like me digging up dead bodies
- 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,717 at the cemetery and fucking them.
- 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,846 And the only person who can get in the way is the old lady president. Ruth.
- 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,306 - Ruth. - Ruth.
- 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,308 BOTH: Ruuuuth.
- 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,143 Terry, no. Let's just go spy.
- 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,981 I don't get it, she's been sitting on her porch for seven hours.
- 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,148 Doesn't seem that tough.
- 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,692 TERRY: It's called stamina. She's flexing.
- 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,319 I'm freaking out. She's the incumbent, Korvo. They never lose!
- 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,488 You boys want some peanut butter cookies?
- 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:33,573 Oh, she's threatening us!
- 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,784 Can you help me get a blanket down from my shelf?
- 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,120 She's a million years old, man, she probably knows everything.
- 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,621 How do we compete with that? We need an edge!
- 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,664 I can update the nanobots,
- 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,833 make them bigger so they can gather more information.
- 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,167 You're going down, bitch.
- 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,461 [engine starts, tires squealing]
- 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,630 Sorry about the razzing, Yumyulack.
- 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,467 I guess, like, we were so focused on nicknaming and mocking your nipples
- 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,305 because our buddy JT got mondo chomped shredding the nar
- 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,265 and had to have his totes bummer jammed.
- 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,725 I totally understand.
- 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:04,395 See? They were projecting their own insecurities onto your nipples.
- 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:07,356 I would have done the same thing if you'd been mondo chomped.
- 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,610 Ugh, why are we being nice? I want to kill this little blue--
- 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,696 - Yumyulack rules! - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
- 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,364 Jesse, I can't believe I'm saying this,
- 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,742 but I'm actually glad you hid my shrink ray,
- 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,621 because today I learned that people are only jerks when you're a jerk to them.
- 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,748 Wait a minute, you're not just pretending to like humans
- 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,584 so you get the shrink ray back, right? I'm no schmuck.
- 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,837 No way, I genuinely want to make friends with every jerk in town.
- 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,922 - Yes! - And I know the perfect place to go next!
- 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,174 Hmm, let me guess.
- 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:37,011 The guys who work at GameGrape, the used game store in the mall.
- 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:39,680 They're always so mean to you, but I think today--
- 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,140 No, way better. Come on!
- 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:44,935 What? Um, okay, uh, wait, ooh, uh, oh boy--
- 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,270 ♪ punk rock music playing ♪
- 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,397 -[barking] -[man grunts]
- 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,443 A-actually, you know what? We've done enough for today!
- 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,195 - You've grown so much and I think-- - No way.
- 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:56,697 I need to find out why these guys are so mean.
- 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,075 I bet it's the ex-wife lonely lunch thing again.
- 00:10:59,158 --> 00:10:59,992 Oh man.
- 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,162 Hey, do we have any scissors? I'm in a little over my head here.
- 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,164 Shut the fuck up, Terry. I'm upgrading the nanobots.
- 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,124 Smarter nanobots means more information,
- 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,669 and more information means there's no way we lose the debate.
- 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,130 Such a good idea. Nothing ever goes wrong when you make robots too smart!
- 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,424 [beeping]
- 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,721 ♪ ominous music playing ♪
- 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,682 [grunts]
- 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,475 Well, I'm sure that's the last I'll see of that.
- 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:29,313 ♪ ominous music playing ♪
- 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,440 [weights clinking]
- 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,525 -[whooshing] -[gasps]
- 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,987 [line beeping]
- 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,991 Hello? If anyone is in here, the police are on their way--Ohh!
- 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,910 Oh, oh, ow!
- 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,162 [Pupa pants, grunts]
- 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,250 [machine beeping]
- 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,965 We know everything there is to know about everyone in town.
- 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,675 What they want, what their secrets are.
- 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,052 I know things about people they don't even know about themselves.
- 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:03,347 Like Todd? His favorite color isn't red. It's orange.
- 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,266 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares, who cares. What about Ruth?
- 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,601 What is she afraid of? Does she have any allergies?
- 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,979 - What is gonna take her down? - That's my one blind spot.
- 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,815 That old withered bag refuses to drink water.
- 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,317 Of course! Old people only drink Coke and they never shower.
- 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,403 It doesn't matter. The only thing we have to know about her is that
- 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,364 she's about to be the ex head of the HOA.
- 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:24,160 Nothing can stop us! Ha ha ha ha, Terry, ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,372 [roaring softly]
- 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:32,960 Okay, look, you all know us. Me and Korvo, we give you what you want.
- 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,254 If you vote for us, we've got you covered.
- 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,047 You want big speed bumps that launch your car
- 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,799 in the air like <i>Dukes of Hazzard?</i> Done.
- 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,343 You want a ski-lift? I already crayoned up the plans.
- 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,304 We can break ground today.
- 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:47,057 Two words: Internet. Fiber. Not in that order.
- 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,517 You're getting it! [crowd cheering]
- 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,478 You're all gonna have super-fast interneeeet!
- 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,480 You know what? I kinda feel bad for Ruth.
- 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,356 I bet she dies right in that chair when we win.
- 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,066 I can't believe we're going to be presidents.
- 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,069 This is amazing. President Korvo. Mister Korvo.
- 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,654 Wait.
- 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,032 Wait, what the hell is that?
- 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,492 Oh my god, no, the nanobots!
- 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,452 [raspy voice] I must speak.
- 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,662 Hey, hey, no, no, no. Don't listen to this guy.
- 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,248 He isn't even really a guy, he's just a-a pile of robots.
- 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:17,213 It's true. I am composed of a trillion microscopic, self-replicating robots,
- 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,631 but I know--[coughs]
- 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,634 that all humans require--
- 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,094 require-- [clears throat]
- 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,972 [normal voice] a stop sign at the corner of Oak and Main.
- 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,433 People speed through there like they're street racing.
- 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,310 It's got to stop, and I can make it happen.
- 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,895 - No. What? - No, no, no, no, no.
- 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,772 I-I-I don't think so, stop the clock.
- 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,107 We already had the debate. Everyone has to vote right now.
- 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,984 Where did you get that suit? Take it off.
- 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,903 [audience gasps]
- 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,906 - Uh, it's my suit. - Gordon, what the hell?
- 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:47,368 I too thought at first that this Nanobot Man was some kind of frightening
- 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,954 <i>X-Files</i> type, you know, monster creature.
- 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,831 But then, he took me to a nice steak dinner.
- 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:52,957 KORVO: That's all it takes?
- 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:57,127 Folks, last thing I want to do is drag this boring HOA election out any longer,
- 00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,005 but I think if you listen for a moment, I could--
- 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,966 whoa, flip your vote.
- 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,843 -[crowd laughs] - I-I command you to leave this place!
- 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,177 Let's hear him out!
- 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,057 ♪ heavy metal music playing ♪
- 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:14,854 Hey, guys, we got pudding over here! Anybody want chocolate-vanilla swirl?
- 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:21,277 Man, these guys are real wound up. This might take more than a pudding cup.
- 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,653 I know, we should probably just go, right?
- 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,655 You're gonna have to sing them your friendship song!
- 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,407 [nervous giggle] I don't know if that's a good idea--
- 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,075 [growling]
- 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,451 What the fuck?
- 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:33,205 Hey, guys, if you think that's punk rock, wait till you hear my sister's song.
- 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,250 [all shouting]
- 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:40,045 <i>♪ Interracial love friendship--♪</i>
- 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,046 Ah!
- 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,091 - Ah! - Ohh! Ah!
- 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,971 Look, I do think humans are generally nice, but to prove that point to you today
- 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,348 I installed microchips in all of your enemies' heads
- 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,809 that made them nice when I clicked this button.
- 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,644 But I didn't know about these neo-Nazis,
- 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,897 so it's not gonna work and I think we're gonna die.
- 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,732 Ah, I told you some people are bad!
- 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,109 You're right! Some people are really, really bad!
- 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,652 This is just like the movie <i>Green Room!</i>
- 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:05,446 [both scream]
- 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,365 Darnell, your lawnmower broke,
- 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,326 and they don't make the gear anymore, am I right?
- 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,286 -[straining] -[clanking]
- 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,705 - There you go, 3 - D printed on the spot.
- 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,584 And little Elizabeth, born blind. Let's see what we can do about that.
- 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:19,793 [straining]
- 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,128 -[machine powers up] - There you go.
- 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,756 I can see all the smells and sounds! It's amazing!
- 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,133 [laughing] Seems like your choice is clear:
- 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,178 a vote for Nanobot Man is a vote for happiness.
- 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,722 The only reason he knows what you want is because he's been inside your pee.
- 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:32,640 [crowd gasps]
- 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,309 That's right, Nanobot Man has been spying on you this whole time.
- 00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,811 Do you really want to elect a man who's been inside your balls
- 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,229 or, or the other stuff?
- 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,565 It's true, I can see it! I can see everything!
- 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,192 Hah! [clears throat]
- 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,737 - It's true, I have been in all your pee. -[all gasp]
- 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,531 I didn't want to bring this up, but they've forced my hand.
- 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,952 Korvo is my dad, and he built my nanobot bodies.
- 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,412 And he and Terry put me in the water
- 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:58,415 so they could read your minds and give you presents.
- 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,000 You can't elect these two liars.
- 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,503 You're not their customer, you are their product.
- 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,713 We harvest the data for the good of the community!
- 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,548 How else would we know that Dave needs a new shed
- 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:07,549 for all his sex dolls?
- 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,009 We can give him that shed!
- 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,887 That's not true! I have sex with living, human beings!
- 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,931 I love the feeling of being pressed up against--
- 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,475 [shudders] a warm bag of bones and blood that can give consent.
- 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,352 I know you better than these guys.
- 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:20,938 I know that Becky buried her Guatemalan housekeeper in the back yard.
- 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:21,855 [crowd gasps]
- 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,732 NANOBOT MAN: How 'bout that? That's a big secret right there.
- 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,484 I'm sorry, what? You killed Lupe!
- 00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,820 Uh, uh, Jeremy's poisoning his wife for insurance.
- 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,739 Uh, Lesley Donovan teaches class while wearing a hidden vibrator.
- 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,783 Samantha is cheating on Michael with Joey!
- 00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,284 -[Samantha gasps] - What the fuck?
- 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,495 TERRY: Phyllis spent all her kid's cancer medicine money on a purse.
- 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,539 KORVO: Bobby snuck shit in a pie at the pie place.
- 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,249 Everyone should be mad about that.
- 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,584 - Gary has a cactus fetish. - Robert keyed Leslie's car.
- 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,545 This is all your fault. You're making everyone fight!
- 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:45,504 Fuck you, Terry!
- 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,547 -[Terry grunts] - NANOBOT MAN: Ow!
- 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,841 - Give me the shrink ray back! - It's in my dollhouse!
- 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,510 What? You know what's going to happen right now because you did that?
- 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:52,511 Yeah.
- 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,596 Now I have to take these guys out with lethal force!
- 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,598 I'm going to stick my knife up your--Ahh!
- 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,434 [all groan]
- 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,894 <i>♪ The Blue Danube Waltz</i> playing ♪
- 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,564 [grunting]
- 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,067 - I don't like doing this! - I said I was sorry!
- 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:11,363 It's the suit, not me, it's the suit. The suit's on auto pilot.
- 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,950 [screams] YUMYULACK: It just does this, sorry.
- 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,078 Maybe, uh, I don't know, maybe be tolerant next time.
- 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:21,790 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that eye.
- 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,377 - Ugh! -[rifle zapping]
- 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,670 - Damn you, nanobots! - NANOBOT MAN: Me?
- 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,506 - This is all your fault! Nobody likes you! - Take that back!
- 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,594 [growling]
- 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,105 [straining]
- 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,025 [straining]
- 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,196 Ah! [gulping noisily]
- 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,707 Ah! Ahhh!
- 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:07,586 Okay, stop! Everyone stop. Everyone just shut the fuck up.
- 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,255 Look at yourselves. T-this is fucked.
- 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:14,593 I've been living here for 30 years and we never had any sci-fi bullshit.
- 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,595 You want things normal and regular.
- 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:20,557 Don't vote for these stupid ugly ALF-lookin' motherfuckers.
- 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,602 - I've had enough. Fuck these guys. - You tell 'em, Ruth!
- 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:27,106 You're goddamn right I'll tell 'em. It's fucking bullshit.
- 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,485 I just want to fucking live in peace. Vote for me, that's all I got to say.
- 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,112 [crowd chanting] Ruth! Ruth! Ruth! Ruth!
- 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,822 But I can make free electricity
- 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,824 by harnessing the temperature change in the air!
- 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,035 It solves global warming! Come on!
- 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,080 A-and I have big ideas for a video game library that we can all use!
- 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,624 Shut up and go back to your home in the Abyss!
- 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:49,211 Not all aliens are from the Abyss! I don't even know you, who are you?
- 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:53,048 - I'm Tyler, and I think you suck. - I knew it! I knew that was Tyler!
- 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,301 - Fuck you! I've always hated you! - Why would we even be from the Abyss?
- 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,679 We have a spaceship sticking out of the top of our house.
- 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,473 NANOBOT MAN: I guess sometimes when you gain sentience
- 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,810 and you're full of data about a neighborhood, you can overreach.
- 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,436 I was just trying to help,
- 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,689 and I ended up hurting the people I love the most.
- 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:11,733 I'm sorry, guys. Truly. I hope you still like me after all this.
- 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,944 Yes, I still like you, Mr. Nanobots.
- 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,904 But you know what? I'm starting to think
- 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,990 I have to stop worrying about who likes me.
- 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,450 I guess some humans are unevolved bigots
- 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,119 who don't know a good thing when they see one.
- 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,288 Us sci-fi folks need to stick together.
- 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:26,790 To be honest, I'm proud that I made such good nanobots
- 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,208 that they tried to take over the neighborhood.
- 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,711 Now all of you: back in the bag. We've got work to do on the ship.
- 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,797 But I want to live in a house and fall in love and build a recipe folder.
- 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,800 Well, tough. I need to spray you on a navigation panel.
- 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,677 You know you have to listen to me, right?
- 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,928 [grunts] Get back here!
- 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,890 - You can't just be free! Damn it! - Man, they grow up so fast.
- 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,558 Well, since we lost the election
- 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,894 and everyone's all crazy high-concept racist now,
- 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,313 I guess that means we better paint the ship to match the roof, huh?
- 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,607 I'll be painting it even more silver than before.
- 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:55,110 I'm going to light it up at night so Ruth can see it from a mile away.
- 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,905 - But the rules-- - It's a $50 fine. I'll eat it.
- 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,698 Yeah, but then people won't like us--
- 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,659 - Did you give him candy again? - No!
- 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:03,994 Damn it, Terry! He's getting it from somewhere
- 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,330 and if he's not getting it from me, he has to be getting it from you!
- 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,998 I don't know, man. I-I would remember if I did, but--
- 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,082 What do you mean you would remember?
- 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,626 If he's not getting it from you, where is he getting it?
- 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:11,627 - I don't know okay! - Where?
- 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,670 - Stop yelling at me! - I'll yell at you as much as I want.
- 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,631 [Jesse sighs] I shouldn't have lied to you.
- 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,842 Humans are complicated, but I didn't think they were so complicated
- 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,302 that they would try to kill us.
- 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,304 After today, I can tellit's important to you
- 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,805 that I be careful who I put in the wall.
- 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,517 So from now on, I'll make sure that everyone in the wall deserves to be--
- 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,186 - Ooh, a guy in a red shirt! -[blaster zaps]
- 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,980 - Wait, but-- - Look, I had people in shirts
- 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,273 of all the other colors.
- 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:37,152 I promise we'll use due process on the next one. Don't yell at me.
- 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,946 Eh, he was probably a Nazi.
- 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,449 I like humans, but I hate shoes.
- 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,868 Like, how are we supposed to taste the ground?
- 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,828 I don't know, they don't flavor their ground either.
- 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,580 - Pff! Weird, right? -[man screams]
- 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,665 [grunts] Oh!
- 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,875 Hey, hey. What's going on here? Where are we?
- 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,043 W-what is this? What is this? [rumbling, clattering]
- 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,253 What the hell is happening?
- 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:56,797 [all screaming]
- 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:57,881 [coughing]
- 00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,967 ♪ ominous music playing ♪
- 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,427 Oh my god. What is this place?
- 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,888 [panting]
- 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:08,016 - Wait, why--w--where are you going? - Anywhere but here!
- 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,226 [grunts]
- 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,313 [all gasp]
- 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,440 [all screaming]
- 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,069 [groans]
- 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,536 - D-don't hurt me, don't hurt me. - Empty your pockets.
- 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,372 - Ugh! - Hey wait, wait, wait, hey.
- 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,623 I don't belong here!
- 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,293 Two little aliens just shrank me down for no reason.
- 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,461 I'm just a regular guy. I didn't do anything to anybody.
- 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,881 More Taffy bandits will be arriving soon, and the gum boys move south at night.
- 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,883 We don't want to be anywhere near here when they meet.
- 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,011 Why are they called gum boys?
- 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,512 They love gum.
- 00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,931 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,018 ♪
- 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,564 Did they make a <i>True Lies 2?</i>
- 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,859 The Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. Is there a sequel to that?
- 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,320 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:05,407 ♪
- 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:41,985 ♪
- 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,696 [imitating laser fire]
- 00:00:05,343 --> 00:00:07,090 Эй, что это за штука?
- 00:00:07,092 --> 00:00:09,047 Не выбрасывай. Я продам её.
- 00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:11,096 В ней нестабильная серая дыра.
- 00:00:11,129 --> 00:00:13,022 Сам ты серая дыра.
- 00:00:13,049 --> 00:00:14,138 — Она не влезет в мусорку. — Класс.
- 00:00:14,143 --> 00:00:15,627 Выброшу её за забегаловкой.
- 00:00:15,653 --> 00:00:18,480 Нет! Нет! Я продам её и куплю шоколадный фонтан,
- 00:00:18,481 --> 00:00:20,190 чтобы не пачкать микроволновку.
- 00:00:20,191 --> 00:00:21,441 И ты не будешь орать на меня.
- 00:00:21,442 --> 00:00:23,780 Я же сказал, не давать Пупе конфет.
- 00:00:23,781 --> 00:00:25,107 Ему нельзя. Его тошнит.
- 00:00:25,113 --> 00:00:26,437 Я не даю ему конфет.
- 00:00:26,463 --> 00:00:28,238 — Он откуда-то их берёт. — Всего один раз.
- 00:00:28,264 --> 00:00:30,128 Отлично. Что еще?
- 00:00:31,619 --> 00:00:34,409 В Ассоциации домовладельцев опять новые правила.
- 00:00:34,414 --> 00:00:36,460 «Грузовики должны быть помечены.
- 00:00:36,462 --> 00:00:38,417 Нельзя парковать фургоны на проезжей части.
- 00:00:38,418 --> 00:00:42,004 Космические корабли на доме должны быть покрашены в цвет дома».
- 00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:43,874 — Вы слышали? — Надо купить фургон.
- 00:00:43,881 --> 00:00:47,011 Он и так хорош. Не хочу, чтобы он был одним цветом с домом.
- 00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:49,219 Это мне решать. Корабль мой.
- 00:00:49,846 --> 00:00:52,031 Черт! Серая дыра, Терри! Серая дыра в доме!
- 00:00:52,057 --> 00:00:54,201 А был бы фургон, не было бы проблем.
- 00:00:54,227 --> 00:00:57,307 — Мы жили бы в нём. — Они придираются к нам.
- 00:00:57,312 --> 00:00:59,665 Терри, это доказывает, что все соседи ненавидят нас.
- 00:00:59,691 --> 00:01:02,816 Говори за себя. Я очень приятный.
- 00:01:02,817 --> 00:01:05,398 Иначе почему все пропускают меня, когда я иду по улице?
- 00:01:05,403 --> 00:01:07,072 — Нас избегают. — Нас любят.
- 00:01:07,073 --> 00:01:09,781 Есть лишь один способ узнать, кто прав.
- 00:01:09,782 --> 00:01:10,907 — Наноботы. — Купить фургон.
- 00:01:10,908 --> 00:01:11,753 Наноботы.
- 00:01:12,785 --> 00:01:14,866 Планета Шлорп была идеальной утопией.
- 00:01:15,246 --> 00:01:17,117 Пока не упал астероид.
- 00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,461 Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу
- 00:01:20,462 --> 00:01:22,298 и сбежали в космос
- 00:01:22,324 --> 00:01:24,829 в поисках нового дома в незаселённых мирах.
- 00:01:25,548 --> 00:01:28,508 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на перенаселённой планете.
- 00:01:28,509 --> 00:01:30,259 Я постоянно об этом твержу.
- 00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:32,062 Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.
- 00:01:32,063 --> 00:01:34,422 И это моё шоу. Я бросил Пупу. Видите меня?
- 00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:35,893 Это смешно.
- 00:01:35,894 --> 00:01:37,809 Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
- 00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:38,810 Люди глупые.
- 00:01:38,811 --> 00:01:41,359 Не понимаю, зачем им столько одежды,
- 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,457 когда можно носить платье из толстой ткани.
- 00:01:43,483 --> 00:01:45,823 Идеальный наряд: ботинки и платье. И всё.
- 00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:50,333 ОБРАТНАЯ СТОРОНА ЗЕМЛИ
- 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:57,229 Эй-эй-эй! Ты же больше не уменьшаешь детей.
- 00:01:57,255 --> 00:01:59,037 Это взрослые.
- 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,539 Пара, мусорившая на улице,
- 00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:03,089 дамочка, стоявшая с тележкой в очереди для корзинок,
- 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:05,295 и парень, который говорит «катАлог» вместо «каталОг».
- 00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:07,519 Это не стоит Стены. Ты придурок.
- 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,508 Брось. Им нравится.
- 00:02:12,452 --> 00:02:12,995 Посмотри.
- 00:02:13,028 --> 00:02:16,239 — Похоже, кого-то надо проучить. — Смотри. Он плачет!
- 00:02:16,265 --> 00:02:17,387 Эй, малыш!
- 00:02:17,701 --> 00:02:18,640 ВОДООЧИСТНАЯ СТАНЦИЯ
- 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,946 Сигнализация. Тебе повезло, что я научился взламывать её по ночам,
- 00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:26,661 пока ты спал.
- 00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,568 Алекса, отключи её.
- 00:02:28,569 --> 00:02:29,739 Сигнализация отключена.
- 00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,318 Тупая Алекса, всегда слушается.
- 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,512 Ни с места! Я вооружен!
- 00:02:32,631 --> 00:02:34,051 Убей его костяным зэппером!
- 00:02:34,085 --> 00:02:35,197 Черт, он не заряжен.
- 00:02:35,201 --> 00:02:36,708 Укуси своим ядом.
- 00:02:36,734 --> 00:02:37,549 Терри?
- 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:38,704 Гордон?
- 00:02:38,705 --> 00:02:39,913 Стой. Ты здесь работаешь?
- 00:02:39,914 --> 00:02:41,665 Да. Это третья работа.
- 00:02:41,666 --> 00:02:43,285 У меня их три. Раз, два, три.
- 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,131 — Три работы. — Это отлично.
- 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,425 Решили поплавать в бассейне, парни?
- 00:02:47,451 --> 00:02:50,256 Да. А еще подбросить микророботов
- 00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:52,361 в городской резервуар воды, чтобы узнать, любят ли нас.
- 00:02:52,387 --> 00:02:53,883 — Что? — Нет. Ты не так понял.
- 00:02:53,909 --> 00:02:57,387 Все, сами того не зная, выпьют воду с наноботами.
- 00:02:57,390 --> 00:02:58,930 Те считают всю их память.
- 00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:01,253 А когда боты выйдут с мочой, то вернутся сюда.
- 00:03:01,277 --> 00:03:03,645 Похоже, это будет весело, парни.
- 00:03:03,646 --> 00:03:06,647 Зал с большим бассейном, из которого все пьют, вот здесь.
- 00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:07,978 Откуда ты знаешь его?
- 00:03:07,984 --> 00:03:08,943 Он продал мне пушку.
- 00:03:10,747 --> 00:03:13,068 Хорошо размешай, чтобы не было сгустков.
- 00:03:13,101 --> 00:03:14,482 Уверен, что сработает?
- 00:03:14,508 --> 00:03:17,329 Надеюсь. Каждый нанобот стоил мне 24 цента.
- 00:03:31,215 --> 00:03:33,505 Каждая часть «Смертельной битвы» лучше предыдущей.
- 00:03:33,509 --> 00:03:34,339 Им нужно снять ремейк.
- 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,634 Представь, какие будут сборы.
- 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,305 Мы не проверили наноботов!
- 00:03:44,684 --> 00:03:45,740 ЦЕНТР ОТДЫХА И РАЗВЛЕЧЕНИЙ
- 00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:48,438 СЕГОДНЯ ВЕЧЕРОМ ВЫБОРЫ В АССОЦИАЦИЮ ДОМОВЛАДЕЛЬЦЕВ
- 00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:23,058 Эй-эй-эй. Стойте.
- 00:04:23,059 --> 00:04:25,558 Как вы узнаете, что вытащили их все?
- 00:04:26,503 --> 00:04:28,082 Шучу. Мне плевать.
- 00:04:28,108 --> 00:04:30,225 Я сотрудник водоочистной станции, а не коп.
- 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:33,283 О, кстати, можно уколоться. Не хотите уколоться?
- 00:04:35,902 --> 00:04:38,579 Сработало. У нас есть выписанные данные на всех соседей.
- 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:40,534 Наконец, есть статистика.
- 00:04:40,535 --> 00:04:43,785 Группа крови, любимая песня, ориентация.
- 00:04:43,788 --> 00:04:45,368 О! Насколько мы им нравимся!
- 00:04:45,373 --> 00:04:47,624 Что это? Тренту не нравится,
- 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,137 что Пупа гуляет на его лужайке?
- 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,368 А где ему еще гулять?
- 00:04:50,394 --> 00:04:53,968 Брук и Дайан думают, я задаю слишком много вопросов в магазине.
- 00:04:53,969 --> 00:04:55,255 Я с другой планеты!
- 00:04:55,258 --> 00:04:57,237 Мне неясно, зачем готовить хлеб дважды.
- 00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:58,512 Для Митчела я громкий!
- 00:04:58,513 --> 00:05:00,387 Я знал. Мы им не нравимся.
- 00:05:00,388 --> 00:05:02,887 Это из-за научной фантастики? Я воняю? В чем дело?
- 00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:04,541 В целом, нас недолюбливают.
- 00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:05,769 А один ненавидит тебя.
- 00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:07,349 — Кто? — Это какой-то Тайлер.
- 00:05:07,353 --> 00:05:08,979 Не знаю никакого Тайлера.
- 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:10,620 Меня будто пчелы жалят!
- 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,565 Плевать на Тайлера. Что я ему сделал?
- 00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:15,027 Сделаем иначе, Корво. Давай понравимся им.
- 00:05:15,028 --> 00:05:17,028 Я должен починить этот забытый богом корабль.
- 00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:21,116 Если мы не нравимся людям, это во многом осложнит работу.
- 00:05:21,117 --> 00:05:23,789 И вообще, я не хочу им нравиться. Это нужно для работы.
- 00:05:23,816 --> 00:05:25,285 А я хочу!
- 00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:27,117 Не видела уменьшитель?
- 00:05:27,123 --> 00:05:28,192 Надеюсь, он не уменьшился.
- 00:05:28,218 --> 00:05:29,379 Это было бы иронично.
- 00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,666 — Он спрятан. — Верни его!
- 00:05:30,668 --> 00:05:32,959 Верну. Но сначала докажу тебе,
- 00:05:32,963 --> 00:05:35,719 что люди — в целом, хорошая форма жизни.
- 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,044 Последние месяцы ты ставишь в Стену слишком много людей.
- 00:05:39,052 --> 00:05:40,492 Притормозите, мистер.
- 00:05:40,516 --> 00:05:43,707 Я лишь должен ходить за тобой? Ладно. Легко.
- 00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:46,363 И неделю делать за меня домашку и стирать.
- 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:49,854 Дай подумать. Стирка — это не моё.
- 00:05:49,855 --> 00:05:52,304 Черт. Ты спрятала пушку-манипулятор?
- 00:05:52,331 --> 00:05:54,288 Да. Я всё спрятала.
- 00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:57,776 Голубым помечены зоны, где нас не любят должным образом.
- 00:05:57,779 --> 00:05:59,319 А здесь, в зелёной зоне,
- 00:05:59,322 --> 00:06:02,041 помечены дома, где дают большие батончики на Хеллоуин.
- 00:06:02,065 --> 00:06:05,373 Если постараемся, думаю, мы быстро справимся.
- 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,785 Ты готов пойти на всё?
- 00:06:06,788 --> 00:06:08,078 Ты о постели?
- 00:06:08,081 --> 00:06:09,421 — Возможно, да. — Тогда да.
- 00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:11,326 Заставим людей полюбить нас!
- 00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:14,251 Шона, полная коллекция макнаггетсов.
- 00:06:14,253 --> 00:06:16,423 — Прошу. — Джеремайя, золотой слиток.
- 00:06:16,424 --> 00:06:17,801 Засунь его себе куда хочешь.
- 00:06:17,802 --> 00:06:19,218 Карсон, это твой сын.
- 00:06:19,219 --> 00:06:21,547 Он снова жив. Прошу. Веселитесь.
- 00:06:23,388 --> 00:06:24,846 Подарок от Корво.
- 00:06:24,847 --> 00:06:27,766 О боже. Я чувствую ноги.
- 00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,266 У меня есть ноги!
- 00:06:29,268 --> 00:06:31,398 Вообще-то, ими трудно управлять.
- 00:06:31,399 --> 00:06:32,866 Нет. Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет.
- 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,783 Никаких пробок. Никаких. Никто не опоздает.
- 00:06:35,817 --> 00:06:36,661 Езжайте. Прошу.
- 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,938 — Все успеют вовремя. — Прошу.
- 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,319 Все успеют. Сегодня без пробок.
- 00:06:40,322 --> 00:06:42,322 — Терри и Корво. — Так, Терри. Хватит.
- 00:06:42,346 --> 00:06:43,645 Идём.
- 00:06:44,158 --> 00:06:45,545 Нет-нет-нет-нет!
- 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,380 Не хочу говорить с мистером Датчем. Он придурок.
- 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:57,378 Он всегда обедает в офисе один.
- 00:06:57,404 --> 00:06:59,429 Давай узнаем почему, ладно?
- 00:06:59,455 --> 00:07:00,485 Убирайтесь отсюда!
- 00:07:00,511 --> 00:07:03,049 Мне сегодня дали второй пудинг, мистер Датч.
- 00:07:03,053 --> 00:07:04,600 Может, вы хотите?
- 00:07:04,601 --> 00:07:06,676 Не хочу дурацкий пудинг. Я…
- 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:09,269 Обеды собирала мне бывшая жена.
- 00:07:09,270 --> 00:07:11,864 После развода я стал делать это сам.
- 00:07:11,891 --> 00:07:13,825 Простите, что вёл себя как придурок.
- 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:14,689 Я переживаю.
- 00:07:14,691 --> 00:07:17,568 У всех бывают проблемы, мистер Датч. Держитесь.
- 00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:18,736 Спасибо, Джесси.
- 00:07:18,737 --> 00:07:22,194 Знаете? Вам не нужно бежать километр на следующей неделе.
- 00:07:22,196 --> 00:07:24,125 Скажу, что вы пробежали за шесть минут.
- 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,536 Видишь? Мы были добры к тому, кто злился,
- 00:07:26,537 --> 00:07:28,285 и теперь не побежим километр.
- 00:07:28,286 --> 00:07:29,647 Верно. Всё так и есть.
- 00:07:29,673 --> 00:07:32,156 Это сработало со старым одиноким учителем, но…
- 00:07:32,182 --> 00:07:34,624 Что скажешь о злых серферах на Форт-бич?
- 00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:36,916 Ненавижу их. Они обижают меня.
- 00:07:36,919 --> 00:07:41,380 Что-то подсказывает мне, что сегодня всё будет иначе. Поверь.
- 00:07:41,576 --> 00:07:43,444 О боже, о боже, о боже. Ты видишь, Терри?
- 00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:45,637 Работает. Мы заставили людей дружить с нами.
- 00:07:45,663 --> 00:07:47,644 О, какое приятное чувство.
- 00:07:47,645 --> 00:07:48,866 Мы популярны.
- 00:07:49,116 --> 00:07:51,475 Продолжение смотрите после блока...
- 00:07:51,476 --> 00:07:53,476 блока очередной рекламы.
- 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,866 И вновь «Обратная сторона Земли».
- 00:07:57,868 --> 00:08:01,005 Если только вы не раскошелились на дорогой «Хулу».
- 00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:04,036 Тогда рекламы не было, и всё это не имеет смысла и раздражает.
- 00:08:04,037 --> 00:08:05,497 Повезло вам, толстосумы.
- 00:08:06,288 --> 00:08:08,218 Фил, у меня сосиски с твоим именем.
- 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:09,918 Оно выжжено лазером в центре.
- 00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:12,134 Как ваш развод, Энджи?
- 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,659 Фил, поешь салат.
- 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,598 Желудочный сок разложит его, и он выйдет из тебя через пару дней.
- 00:08:16,624 --> 00:08:19,162 Это лучший город, где я жил.
- 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:20,625 А я из космоса.
- 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,915 Я сразу вижу, что город хороший, я же был на Луне.
- 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,178 Эй-эй, не прячься от меня, Делвин.
- 00:08:25,179 --> 00:08:27,632 Хочу послушать про зубы. Покажись, зубастик.
- 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,361 Вы с Корво стали здесь очень популярны, Тер.
- 00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:32,970 Да. Есть люди, которые объединяют.
- 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,052 В нас есть сок. Это как харизма.
- 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:35,936 Харизму не остановить.
- 00:08:35,937 --> 00:08:38,762 Вам нужно стать президентами Ассоциации домовладельцев.
- 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,648 Ею руководит старушка Рут.
- 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:42,971 Мы с радостью простимся с ней.
- 00:08:43,116 --> 00:08:46,613 Парень с хвостом, как у пони, сказал, что мы можем возглавить ассоциацию.
- 00:08:46,614 --> 00:08:48,018 Знаешь, что это значит?
- 00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:49,241 Парковка фургона на улице?
- 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,972 Мы сможем устанавливать правила.
- 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,537 Никакой покраски.
- 00:08:52,538 --> 00:08:56,665 Никакого запрета рыть ямы посреди дороги, чтобы ловить в них детей.
- 00:08:56,691 --> 00:08:59,580 Я смогу делать штуки в стиле Диснея.
- 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,412 Сделать водную горку под землей с окном,
- 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,618 где будет диорама с динозаврами.
- 00:09:04,619 --> 00:09:05,584 О боже. Это будет чудесно.
- 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:08,130 Все должны будут любить нас, по закону.
- 00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:11,485 А значит, им понравится, что я выкапываю трупы на кладбище.
- 00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:15,839 Единственный, кто может помешать, — старая президентша Рут.
- 00:09:15,865 --> 00:09:17,349 — Рут. — Рут.
- 00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,250 Рут.
- 00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:21,182 Терри, нет. Пошпионим.
- 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:25,022 Не понимаю. Она сидит на террасе семь часов.
- 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,733 — Вот это упорство. — Выдержка. Она стойкая.
- 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,364 Я боюсь. Она старожил, Корво. Ее не победить.
- 00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,533 Хотите арахисовое печенье?
- 00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:33,614 Она угрожает нам.
- 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,826 Не поможете мне достать полотенце с полки?
- 00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:39,166 Да ей миллион лет. Она всё знает.
- 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:40,576 Как с ней тягаться? Нам нужна победа.
- 00:09:40,603 --> 00:09:41,873 Обновим наноботов.
- 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,823 Сделаем их больше, чтобы собрать больше данных.
- 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,304 Тебе конец, стерва.
- 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,675 Прости за насмешки, Юмьюлак.
- 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:53,513 Думаю, мы так увлеклись высмеиванием твоих сосков,
- 00:09:53,514 --> 00:09:57,341 потому что наш друг Джей-Ти немного перебрал,
- 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,307 и у него открылись другие шлюзы.
- 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:00,933 Конечно, я понимаю.
- 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,435 Видишь? Они перенесли свою неуверенность на твои соски.
- 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:07,460 Я не поступил бы так, если бы ты перебрала.
- 00:10:07,486 --> 00:10:10,440 Почему мы так добры? Я хочу убить этого синего…
- 00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,154 Юмьюлак рулит!
- 00:10:12,155 --> 00:10:13,735 Да. Вот и я об этом.
- 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,409 Джесс, не верю, что говорю это,
- 00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:17,787 но я рад, что ты спрятала уменьшитель.
- 00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:21,662 Сегодня я узнал, что люди — придурки только с придурками.
- 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,710 Минутку. Ты не притворяешься, что любишь людей,
- 00:10:23,736 --> 00:10:25,784 чтобы вернуть уменьшитель?
- 00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:26,721 Я не глупая.
- 00:10:26,747 --> 00:10:29,884 Нет. Я хочу подружиться с каждым придурком в городе.
- 00:10:29,885 --> 00:10:31,961 — Да! — И я знаю, куда нам пойти дальше.
- 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,216 Хм-м. Дай угадаю.
- 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,807 В «GameGrape»,
- 00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:37,052 магазин подержанных игр в молле?
- 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,723 Они так злятся на тебя. Но думаю, сегодня…
- 00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:41,183 Нет. Лучше. Идём.
- 00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:44,898 Что? Э… Ладно. Э… Мы… э… О боже.
- 00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:46,532 ХАЙЛЬ ХИТБАР
- 00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:52,481 А вообще, знаешь? На сегодня уже хватит.
- 00:10:52,487 --> 00:10:54,277 — Мы столько сделали. Думаю… — Нет уж.
- 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,745 Я узнаю, почему они такие злые.
- 00:10:56,746 --> 00:10:58,950 Уверен, это опять их бывшие жёны.
- 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,087 О нет.
- 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,139 Есть ножницы? Я переусердствовал.
- 00:11:03,165 --> 00:11:05,326 Заткнись, Терри. Я обновляю наноботов.
- 00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,167 Они принесут больше информации.
- 00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:09,548 А значит, мы не проиграем дебаты.
- 00:11:09,574 --> 00:11:13,081 Хорошая идея. Роботы не могут быть слишком умными.
- 00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:14,407 ПОДГОТОВКА
- 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:14,761 ЗАГРУЗКА
- 00:11:14,787 --> 00:11:15,576 ОБНОВЛЕНИЕ ЗАВЕРШЕНО
- 00:11:22,926 --> 00:11:24,612 Уверен, это последний раз.
- 00:11:37,824 --> 00:11:40,301 Алло! Здесь кто-то есть? Полиция уже в пути!
- 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:56,005 Мы знаём всё, что можно, о каждом жителе города.
- 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,717 Чего они хотят, какие у них секреты.
- 00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,070 Я знаю о них то, чего не знают они.
- 00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:03,200 Например, Тодд. Его любимый цвет не красный. А оранжевый.
- 00:12:03,226 --> 00:12:05,301 Да-да-да. Это неважно. Что с Рут?
- 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,646 Чего она боится? У нее есть аллергия?
- 00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:10,024 — Как её победить? — Это моё слабое место.
- 00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:12,852 Старуха отказывается пить воду.
- 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:15,367 Конечно! Старики пьют газировку и не моются.
- 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,422 Неважно. О ней надо знать лишь одно —
- 00:12:17,448 --> 00:12:20,406 она почти экс-глава Ассоциации.
- 00:12:20,408 --> 00:12:21,658 Нас ничто не остановит.
- 00:12:22,537 --> 00:12:23,392 Терри.
- 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:30,584 Итак. Вы все нас знаете.
- 00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:33,084 Мы с Корво даём вам то, что вы хотите.
- 00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,294 Голосуйте за нас — и мы прикроем вас.
- 00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:38,841 Хотите лежачих полицейских, как трамплины? Ладно.
- 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:41,383 Подъёмник для лыжников? Я начертил план.
- 00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:43,346 Приступим сегодня же.
- 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:47,184 Два слова. Интернет. Волокно. В другом порядке.
- 00:12:47,185 --> 00:12:48,145 Ну, вы поняли.
- 00:12:48,146 --> 00:12:50,523 У вас будет супербыстрый интернет!
- 00:12:50,524 --> 00:12:52,561 Знаешь, я сочувствую Рут.
- 00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:54,515 Она помрёт прямо здесь, когда мы победим.
- 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,127 Мы станем президентами!
- 00:12:56,153 --> 00:12:59,136 Потрясающе. Президент Корво. Мистер Корво.
- 00:12:59,725 --> 00:13:00,687 Стойте.
- 00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:02,499 Что это такое?
- 00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:04,637 О боже. Нет! Наноботы!
- 00:13:04,663 --> 00:13:06,555 Я буду говорить!
- 00:13:06,581 --> 00:13:08,705 Эй-эй! Нет-нет-нет. Не слушайте его.
- 00:13:08,706 --> 00:13:11,296 Он даже не человек. Он груда роботов.
- 00:13:11,297 --> 00:13:12,582 Это так.
- 00:13:12,585 --> 00:13:17,255 Я состою из триллиона самовоспроизводящихся микророботов.
- 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:18,673 Но я знаю,
- 00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:21,594 что всем людям нужен…
- 00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:24,136 нужен…
- 00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:27,018 знак «Стоп» на углу Оак и Главной.
- 00:13:27,019 --> 00:13:29,516 Все летают там, как гонщики.
- 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,566 Это надо прекратить. И я сделаю это.
- 00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:32,932 — Нет. Что? — Нет-нет-нет-нет.
- 00:13:32,939 --> 00:13:34,815 Не думаю. На этом всё.
- 00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:37,128 Дебаты закончились. Пора голосовать.
- 00:13:37,154 --> 00:13:38,816 Где ты взял костюм? Сними его.
- 00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,946 — Он мой. — Гордон, какого черта?
- 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:47,369 Я тоже сначала думал, что этот нанобот наводит ужас.
- 00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,999 Как в «Секретных материалах». Чудовище.
- 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,957 Но он пригласил меня на ужин.
- 00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:53,038 Всего-то?
- 00:13:53,062 --> 00:13:57,176 Народ, последнее, что я хочу — это затягивать выборы в Ассоциацию.
- 00:13:57,177 --> 00:14:00,090 Но думаю, если вы послушаете, я могу...
- 00:14:01,219 --> 00:14:02,179 всё изменить.
- 00:14:02,205 --> 00:14:03,854 Я приказываю тебе уйти!
- 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,449 Выслушаем его!
- 00:14:10,528 --> 00:14:12,310 Привет. У меня есть пудинг.
- 00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,891 Кто хочет булку с шоколадом и ванилью?
- 00:14:17,984 --> 00:14:19,901 Эти парни на взводе.
- 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,219 Здесь не обойтись пудингом.
- 00:14:21,245 --> 00:14:22,616 Знаю. Нам лучше пойти.
- 00:14:22,642 --> 00:14:25,101 Ты должна спеть им песню про дружбу.
- 00:14:25,127 --> 00:14:26,495 Это плохая идея.
- 00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:29,340 В чем дело?
- 00:14:29,366 --> 00:14:31,242 Парни. Думаете, это панк-рок?
- 00:14:31,247 --> 00:14:32,956 Послушайте песню моей сестры.
- 00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:40,349 Межрасовая любовь и дружба…
- 00:14:45,475 --> 00:14:47,762 Я думала, в целом, люди милые.
- 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:49,129 Но чтобы доказать это,
- 00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,396 я установила микрочипы в головы твоих врагов.
- 00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:53,852 Они добреют при нажатии кнопки.
- 00:14:53,853 --> 00:14:55,683 Но я не знала об этих нео-нацистах.
- 00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:57,939 Так что ничего не выйдет. Мы умрём!
- 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,778 Я же сказал, есть плохие люди.
- 00:14:59,779 --> 00:15:02,152 Ты прав. Некоторые очень плохие.
- 00:15:02,153 --> 00:15:03,713 Как в фильме «Зелёная комната».
- 00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:08,611 Дарнелл, твоя косилка сломалась,
- 00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:10,538 а двигатель больше не производят?
- 00:15:12,173 --> 00:15:14,746 Прошу. 3D-принтер во мне.
- 00:15:14,749 --> 00:15:17,042 А малышка Элизабет. Родилась слепой.
- 00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:18,623 Посмотрим, что можно сделать.
- 00:15:20,639 --> 00:15:21,203 Пожалуйста.
- 00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:23,794 Я вижу все запахи и звуки. Потрясающе.
- 00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:26,307 Похоже, ваш выбор очевиден.
- 00:15:26,308 --> 00:15:29,120 Голосуйте на Нанобота — голосуйте за счастье.
- 00:15:29,146 --> 00:15:31,802 Он знает, чего вы хотите, потому что был у вас в моче!
- 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:35,352 Именно. Нанобот всё время шпионил за вами.
- 00:15:35,353 --> 00:15:38,900 Хотите избрать того, кто побывал у вас в мочевом пузыре?
- 00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:41,667 Верно. Я это вижу. Я всё вижу.
- 00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:45,942 Это так. Я был в вашей моче.
- 00:15:46,601 --> 00:15:49,384 Не хотел говорить об этом, но они вынудили.
- 00:15:49,576 --> 00:15:53,116 Ковро — мой отец. Он создал тело из наноботов.
- 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,459 Они с Терри запустили меня в воду,
- 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:58,456 чтобы прочитать ваши мысли и подарить вам подарки.
- 00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:00,048 Можете избрать этих лжецов.
- 00:16:00,049 --> 00:16:02,544 Вы для них не клиенты, а товар.
- 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,756 Мы собрали данные ради блага города!
- 00:16:04,758 --> 00:16:07,713 Иначе как бы мы узнали, что Дэйву нужен сарай для резиновых кукол?
- 00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:08,882 Мы построим его!
- 00:16:08,909 --> 00:16:11,932 Неправда! Я не пользуюсь резиновыми женщинами.
- 00:16:11,933 --> 00:16:13,971 Мне нравится чувствовать, как я
- 00:16:13,975 --> 00:16:16,515 прикасаюсь к тёплому мешку с костями и кровью.
- 00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:18,525 Я знаю вас лучше, чем они.
- 00:16:18,527 --> 00:16:21,841 Бекки закопала свою домработницу из Гватемалы на заднем дворе.
- 00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:23,605 Как вам? Это большой секрет.
- 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:25,529 Простите, что? Ты убила Лупе?
- 00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:27,671 Джереми травит жену ради страховки.
- 00:16:27,697 --> 00:16:30,988 Лесли Донован носит на уроки спрятанный вибратор.
- 00:16:31,014 --> 00:16:32,595 Саманта изменяет Майклу с Джоуи.
- 00:16:32,621 --> 00:16:33,911 Что это значит?
- 00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:36,492 Филлис купила сумку на деньги для больного ребёнка.
- 00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:38,627 Бобби подкладывает дерьмо в пироги.
- 00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:40,080 Это точно разозлит всех.
- 00:16:40,106 --> 00:16:42,513 — Гари помешан на кактусах. — Роберт помял машину Лесли.
- 00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:44,494 Это всё ты! Из-за тебя все дерутся!
- 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,537 Иди ты, Терри!
- 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,924 — Дай уменьшитель. — Он в кукольном доме.
- 00:16:48,927 --> 00:16:51,801 Что?! Ты знаешь, что сейчас произойдёт из-за тебя?!
- 00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:52,493 Да.
- 00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,615 Придётся применить смертоносную силу.
- 00:16:54,641 --> 00:16:55,928 Я воткну нож тебе в…
- 00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:07,113 — Мне это не нравится. — Я сожалею.
- 00:17:07,114 --> 00:17:09,482 Это костюм. Не я. Костюм.
- 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,493 Он на автопилоте.
- 00:17:13,315 --> 00:17:14,999 Он сам, простите.
- 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,130 Может, не знаю… будете терпимее?
- 00:17:18,131 --> 00:17:20,082 Простите, простите, простите.
- 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,800 Сожалею по поводу глаза.
- 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,899 — Всё ты, нанобот! — Я?
- 00:17:26,925 --> 00:17:29,009 Это вы виноваты. Вас никто не любит.
- 00:17:29,036 --> 00:17:29,866 Замолчи!
- 00:18:03,848 --> 00:18:05,978 Ладно. Всё. Остановитесь.
- 00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:07,746 Заткнитесь все, наконец.
- 00:18:07,772 --> 00:18:10,340 Посмотрите на себя. Это ужасно.
- 00:18:10,341 --> 00:18:11,921 Я живу здесь тридцать лет.
- 00:18:11,926 --> 00:18:14,636 И никогда такого не видела.
- 00:18:14,637 --> 00:18:16,637 Хотите, чтобы всё стало, как обычно?
- 00:18:16,639 --> 00:18:20,605 Тогда не голосуйте за этих тупых, страшных придурков.
- 00:18:20,606 --> 00:18:22,602 С меня хватит. К чёрту их.
- 00:18:22,604 --> 00:18:23,643 Скажи им всё, Рут!
- 00:18:23,646 --> 00:18:25,566 Ты прав. Я скажу им всё.
- 00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,146 Всё это полная чушь.
- 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,198 Я просто хочу спокойно жить.
- 00:18:29,199 --> 00:18:31,693 Голосуйте за меня. Всё, что могу сказать.
- 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,169 Рут! Рут! Рут! Рут!
- 00:18:33,193 --> 00:18:36,957 Но я могу сделать бесплатное электричество за счет изменения температуры воздуха.
- 00:18:36,958 --> 00:18:40,071 Это решит проблему потепления.
- 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,022 А у меня есть идея создания библиотеки видеоигр.
- 00:18:43,048 --> 00:18:45,664 Заткнись и возвращайся в свою бездну.
- 00:18:45,668 --> 00:18:47,668 Не все пришельцы оттуда.
- 00:18:47,670 --> 00:18:49,258 Я тебя даже не знаю. Кто ты?
- 00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,426 Я Тайлер. А ты отстой.
- 00:18:51,452 --> 00:18:53,096 Так и знал, что это Тайлер.
- 00:18:53,097 --> 00:18:54,798 Я всегда ненавидел тебя!
- 00:18:54,824 --> 00:18:56,272 Почему это мы из бездны?
- 00:18:56,298 --> 00:18:58,371 Из нашего дома торчит космический корабль.
- 00:18:59,265 --> 00:19:01,516 Иногда, когда в тебе есть силы
- 00:19:01,518 --> 00:19:04,853 и полно данных о соседях, можно перегнуть палку.
- 00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:06,483 Я лишь хотел помочь.
- 00:19:06,484 --> 00:19:08,731 Но причинил боль тем, кого больше всего люблю.
- 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,152 Простите, парни.
- 00:19:10,153 --> 00:19:11,772 Надеюсь, я еще нравлюсь вам.
- 00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:14,238 Да. Вы еще нравитесь мне, мистер Нанобот.
- 00:19:14,239 --> 00:19:18,077 Но знаете? Меня больше не волнует, нравлюсь ли я кому-то или нет.
- 00:19:18,078 --> 00:19:22,131 Думаю, есть глупые люди, которые не замечают ничего хорошего.
- 00:19:22,157 --> 00:19:24,333 Ученые должны сплотиться.
- 00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:26,833 Я горжусь, что сделал таких хороших наноботов,
- 00:19:26,835 --> 00:19:28,414 которые пытались захватить район.
- 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,757 Полезай в мешок. Нас ждёт работа.
- 00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:32,714 Но я хочу жить в доме, влюбиться,
- 00:19:32,715 --> 00:19:33,955 создать книгу рецептов.
- 00:19:33,981 --> 00:19:36,881 А мне надо распределить тебя по панели навигации.
- 00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:38,870 Ты должен слушаться меня. Ясно?
- 00:19:39,489 --> 00:19:41,532 Вернись! Ты не свободен! Черт!
- 00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:43,139 Они так быстро растут.
- 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:44,685 Раз мы проиграли выборы,
- 00:19:44,686 --> 00:19:46,935 и теперь все стали закоренелыми расистами,
- 00:19:46,938 --> 00:19:49,332 нам лучше покрасить корабль в цвет крыши.
- 00:19:49,358 --> 00:19:51,654 Я сделаю его еще более блестящим.
- 00:19:51,655 --> 00:19:55,151 И буду включать подсветку ночью, чтобы Рут видела его за километр.
- 00:19:55,155 --> 00:19:57,841 — Но правила… — Штраф пятьдесят долларов. Ничего.
- 00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:59,550 Но нас не будут любить.
- 00:20:01,202 --> 00:20:02,703 — Ты снова дал ему конфет? — Нет.
- 00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:04,284 Брось, Терри. Он где-то берёт их.
- 00:20:04,289 --> 00:20:06,189 Если их даю не я, значит, ты.
- 00:20:06,215 --> 00:20:08,123 Не знаю. Я бы помнил.
- 00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:10,304 Что значит «помнил бы»? Где он их берёт?
- 00:20:10,330 --> 00:20:11,506 — Я не знаю, ясно? — Где?
- 00:20:11,532 --> 00:20:13,008 — Хватит орать. — Ору, сколько хочу!
- 00:20:14,183 --> 00:20:15,676 Не надо было лгать тебе.
- 00:20:15,677 --> 00:20:18,886 Люди непростые. Но я не думала, что они настолько сложные,
- 00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,345 что попробуют нас убить.
- 00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:24,098 Я понял. Ты хочешь, чтобы я был внимательнее при выборе людей для стены.
- 00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:27,561 Отныне туда будут попадать лишь те, кто заслуживает быть…
- 00:20:27,562 --> 00:20:29,222 О! Парень в красном!
- 00:20:30,149 --> 00:20:30,644 Стой, но…
- 00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:33,319 У меня есть люди в рубашках всех остальных цветов.
- 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,346 Обещаю, я начну со следующего раза.
- 00:20:36,372 --> 00:20:37,198 Не кричи на меня.
- 00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:38,987 Э, возможно, он был нацистом.
- 00:20:40,325 --> 00:20:42,615 Люблю людей, но не люблю туфли.
- 00:20:42,619 --> 00:20:44,912 Как в них можно попробовать землю?
- 00:20:44,913 --> 00:20:47,140 Не знаю. Они не пробуют её на вкус.
- 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:47,863 Странно, да?
- 00:20:49,952 --> 00:20:52,000 Эй! Эй! Что происходит? Где мы?
- 00:20:52,026 --> 00:20:54,160 Что? Что это? Что происходит?
- 00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:02,381 О боже! Что это за место?
- 00:21:04,891 --> 00:21:06,263 Стойте. Куда вы?
- 00:21:06,289 --> 00:21:07,062 Подальше отсюда.
- 00:21:24,786 --> 00:21:27,326 — Не убивайте меня! — Показывай карманы.
- 00:21:29,453 --> 00:21:30,547 Эй, стойте-стойте.
- 00:21:30,548 --> 00:21:31,662 Я здесь случайно.
- 00:21:31,668 --> 00:21:34,336 Два инопланетянина зачем-то уменьшили меня.
- 00:21:34,337 --> 00:21:36,474 Я обычный парень. Я ничего не сделал.
- 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,296 Скоро придут тэффи-бандиты.
- 00:21:38,299 --> 00:21:39,925 А мальчики со жвачкой — ближе к ночи.
- 00:21:39,926 --> 00:21:41,888 Лучше не видеть их встречу.
- 00:21:41,914 --> 00:21:43,701 Что за мальчики со жвачкой?
- 00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:45,556 Они любят жвачку.
- 00:21:53,816 --> 00:21:55,605 А есть «Правдивая ложь 2»?
- 00:21:55,608 --> 00:21:57,196 Фильм с Арнольдом Шварценеггером?
- 00:21:57,197 --> 00:21:58,902 Продолжение есть?
- 00:00:05,318 --> 00:00:07,068 ‐ О, хэй!.Что это такое?
- 00:00:07,068 --> 00:00:08,818 О, только не выкидывай! Её можно продать на eBay.
- 00:00:08,818 --> 00:00:11,068 ‐ У неё нестабильная серая дыра внутри.
- 00:00:11,068 --> 00:00:12,528 ‐ Сам ты нестабильная Серая дыра.
- 00:00:12,528 --> 00:00:14,118 В мусорку не влезет.
- 00:00:14,118 --> 00:00:15,788 Придётся подбросить ее на свалку Бургер Кинг.
- 00:00:15,788 --> 00:00:18,458 Не надо, я же могу продать её и купиь шоколадный фонтан.
- 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,168 Тогда мне больше не придётся пачкать микроволновку,
- 00:00:20,168 --> 00:00:21,418 а тебе - ругать меня за это.
- 00:00:21,418 --> 00:00:23,748 Посмотри на Пупу. Я же сказал не давать ей больше конфеты.
- 00:00:23,748 --> 00:00:25,088 Ему нельзя конфеты - ему от них плохо!
- 00:00:25,088 --> 00:00:26,628 Я не.. Я больше не даю ему конфеты.
- 00:00:26,628 --> 00:00:27,628 Ну кто-то же дает!
- 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:28,628 Всего разочек!
- 00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:29,888 Супер, а теперь то что?
- 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,388 Кооператив опять обновляет правила.
- 00:00:34,388 --> 00:00:36,428 "Грузовики садовников должны иметь маркировку.
- 00:00:36,428 --> 00:00:38,388 Запрещено ставить автофургон на подъездной дорожке.
- 00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:41,978 Все космические корабли, торчащие из домов, надлежит покрасить в тон дома"
- 00:00:41,978 --> 00:00:43,858 - Вы это слышите? - О, нам точно стоит завести дом на колесах.
- 00:00:43,858 --> 00:00:46,988 По-моему итак отлично. Я не хочу чтобы он сливался с домом.
- 00:00:46,988 --> 00:00:49,198 Это, черт возьми, моё дело, это я - чувак с космолётом!
- 00:00:49,818 --> 00:00:52,118 Черт возьми! Серая дыра, Терри! Серая дыра в доме!
- 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,158 Если бы у нас был дом на колесах, это не было бы проблемой.
- 00:00:54,158 --> 00:00:55,238 Ведь мы бы могли просто жить в фургоне.
- 00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:57,288 Дурацкий ТСЖ, выделяет нас!
- 00:00:57,288 --> 00:00:59,868 Терри, по-моему это доказыает, что нас тут все ненавидят.
- 00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:02,788 Говори за себя, чувак, меня наоборот обожают.
- 00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:05,378 Иначе зачем бы всем уступать мне место, когда я просто иду по улице.
- 00:01:05,378 --> 00:01:07,048 - Они нас избегают! - Они нас любят.
- 00:01:07,048 --> 00:01:09,758 Я думаю, есть только один способ узнать, кто прав.
- 00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:10,878 -Наноботы. - Купить фургон!
- 00:01:10,878 --> 00:01:11,718 Нан .. наноботы.
- 00:01:12,758 --> 00:01:14,848 Планета Шлорп была прекрасной утопией.
- 00:01:15,218 --> 00:01:17,098 До падения астероида.
- 00:01:18,018 --> 00:01:20,438 Каждому из сотни взрослых и их репликантам выдали Пупу
- 00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:22,398 и отправили скитаться по космосу
- 00:01:22,398 --> 00:01:24,898 в поисках нового дома в пустующих мирах.
- 00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:28,488 Мы разбились на Земле - и без того перенаселенной планете.
- 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,238 Всё верно. Я постоянно об этом говорю.
- 00:01:30,238 --> 00:01:31,948 Я тот, что держит Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.
- 00:01:31,948 --> 00:01:34,448 И это - моё шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу. Вы меня видите?
- 00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:35,828 Это глупо.
- 00:01:35,828 --> 00:01:37,788 Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
- 00:01:37,788 --> 00:01:38,788 Люди - тупые.
- 00:01:38,788 --> 00:01:41,328 Я не понимаю зачем людям столько разной одежды,
- 00:01:41,328 --> 00:01:43,378 когда можно носить плотную, простую робу.
- 00:01:43,378 --> 00:01:45,708 Это же идеальная одежда. Ботинки и роба. Легко!
- 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,218 Воу-воу! Я думала, мы больше не уменьшаем детей!
- 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,018 Это - взрослые.
- 00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:00,518 Парочка мусорящих на улице,
- 00:02:00,518 --> 00:02:03,058 дамочка с 15 предметами, которая стояла в очереди для 12-ти,
- 00:02:03,058 --> 00:02:05,268 и парень, что произносит расписание как "рас- песаньэ"
- 00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:07,608 Это не достойно стены, это ты придурок.
- 00:02:07,608 --> 00:02:09,478 Да ладно, им понравится.
- 00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:12,898 Ха-ха, только посмотри на них.
- 00:02:12,898 --> 00:02:15,528 Кажется, кому-то пора усвоить урок.
- 00:02:16,238 --> 00:02:17,528 Эй, парнишка!
- 00:02:22,248 --> 00:02:24,918 Это сигнализация! К счастью для тебя, я узнал вчера как её хакнуть,
- 00:02:24,918 --> 00:02:26,628 пока ты тратил время на сон.
- 00:02:26,628 --> 00:02:28,548 Алекса, выключи сигнализацию.
- 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:29,708 "Сигнализация деактивирована"
- 00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:31,298 Тупая Алекса. Вечно слушает.
- 00:02:31,298 --> 00:02:32,468 Стой на месте! Я вооружен!
- 00:02:32,468 --> 00:02:33,838 Огонь на поражение! Сотри его истирателем костей.
- 00:02:33,838 --> 00:02:35,178 Дерьмо, теперь он разряжен!
- 00:02:35,178 --> 00:02:36,468 Раскуси свой зуб с ядом!
- 00:02:36,468 --> 00:02:37,468 Терри?
- 00:02:37,468 --> 00:02:38,678 Гордон?
- 00:02:38,678 --> 00:02:39,888 Стой, ты что, работаешь здесь?
- 00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:41,638 Ага, чувак, это моя третья работа.
- 00:02:41,638 --> 00:02:43,268 У меня есть три работы: посчитаем - раз, два, три.
- 00:02:43,268 --> 00:02:45,098 - Три дрянных работы, понимаешь. - О, чувак, да это хорошие новости.
- 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,728 А вы тут так, просто просто забежали поплескаться в бассейне?
- 00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:50,228 Ага, а еще хотим запустить микро-роботов
- 00:02:50,228 --> 00:02:52,318 в городское водоснабжение, чтобы узнать, похожи ли люди на нас.
- 00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:53,858 - Стой, что? - Не, это не то, что ты думаешь.
- 00:02:53,858 --> 00:02:57,368 Всё незаметно выпьют воду с нашими наноботами,
- 00:02:57,368 --> 00:02:58,908 которые соберут все их воспоминания,
- 00:02:58,908 --> 00:03:01,118 а затем они выйдут с мочой здесь, где мы их и соберем.
- 00:03:01,118 --> 00:03:03,618 По-моему это звучит очень весело, парни.
- 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,998 Так, комната с большим бассейном,
- 00:03:04,998 --> 00:03:06,328 откуда все пьют, находится прям вон там.
- 00:03:06,328 --> 00:03:07,958 -Идем. - Откуда ты знаешь этого парня?
- 00:03:07,958 --> 00:03:08,918 Он продал мне пушку.
- 00:03:10,748 --> 00:03:13,128 Обязательно надо разбить все комки, а то они могут стать сознательными.
- 00:03:13,128 --> 00:03:14,468 Эй, чувак, ты уверен, что это сработает?
- 00:03:14,468 --> 00:03:17,298 Ну, лучше бы сработало, каждый из них стоил мне 24 цента.
- 00:03:31,188 --> 00:03:33,488 Каждый новый фильм Мортал Комбат лучше последнего.
- 00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:34,318 Я думаю, им стоит его перезапустить.
- 00:03:34,318 --> 00:03:36,698 Правда, ты можешь себе представить какие будут кассовые сборы Боффо?
- 00:03:36,698 --> 00:03:38,278 Мы забыли проверить наноботов!
- 00:04:21,618 --> 00:04:23,028 Воу-воу-воу, стойте.
- 00:04:23,028 --> 00:04:25,248 Как вы можете быть уверены, что выудили всё ?
- 00:04:26,158 --> 00:04:28,078 Шучу, мне вообще пофиг.
- 00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:30,208 Я работаю на водоочистительной станции, я не коп.
- 00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:33,248 О, кстати, у меня тут есть героин. Не хотите героина, ребят?
- 00:04:35,798 --> 00:04:38,548 Сработало. Теперь у нас есть вся мочёная информация на каждого из соседей.
- 00:04:38,548 --> 00:04:40,508 Теперь люди - всего лишь статистика!
- 00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:43,758 Группа крови, любимая песня, не сколько процентов они геи
- 00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:45,348 О! А это показатели нашего с ними сходства.
- 00:04:45,348 --> 00:04:47,598 Что, черт возьми? Тренту с нашего квартала не нравится,
- 00:04:47,598 --> 00:04:49,228 что я позволил Пупе сходить по большому на его лужайке?
- 00:04:49,228 --> 00:04:50,398 Где же еще ему ходить?
- 00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:53,938 Брук и Даян думают, что я задаю слишком много вопросов в магазине.
- 00:04:53,938 --> 00:04:55,228 Я с другой планеты!
- 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,278 Мне не понятно почему хлеб надо готовить дважды.
- 00:04:57,278 --> 00:04:58,398 Митчел думает, что я слишком шумный.
- 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,358 Я знал! Нам тут не рады! Разве нет?
- 00:05:00,358 --> 00:05:02,868 Это из-за науки? Я воняю? В чем дело?
- 00:05:02,868 --> 00:05:04,578 Похоже мы им вообще не нравимся!
- 00:05:04,578 --> 00:05:05,738 Один вообще ненавидит тебя.
- 00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,328 - Кто? - Чувак по имени Тайлер.
- 00:05:07,328 --> 00:05:08,958 Я даже не знаю никого по имени Тайлер.
- 00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:10,538 Чувство, словно по мне ползают осы.
- 00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:12,538 - К черту этого Тайлера. Что я вообще ему такого сделал?
- 00:05:12,538 --> 00:05:14,998 Мы, мы могли бы вести себя по-другому, Корво. Мы можем заставить людей принять нас.
- 00:05:14,998 --> 00:05:17,008 Мне нужно починить этот забытый богом корабль.
- 00:05:17,008 --> 00:05:19,418 И факт, что мы им не нравимся, значительно усложняет
- 00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:21,088 эту и без того трудную задачу.
- 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,718 Просто внесу ясность: мне не нужна симпатия,
- 00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:23,758 это просто рабочая необходимость.
- 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,138 А вот мне нужна!
- 00:05:25,468 --> 00:05:27,098 Черт возьми, ты не видела мой уменьшающий луч где-нибудь?
- 00:05:27,098 --> 00:05:28,058 Надеюсь, что он не уменьшился.
- 00:05:28,058 --> 00:05:29,348 Насколько это было бы иронично.
- 00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:30,638 - Я его спрятала. - Отдай!
- 00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:32,938 Я верну, но сначала хочу доказать тебе, что
- 00:05:32,938 --> 00:05:35,688 те люди, в основном - хорошие формы жизни.
- 00:05:35,688 --> 00:05:39,028 В последние пару месяцев, ты помещал слишком много людей на стену.
- 00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:40,398 Пора бить по тормозам, мистер.
- 00:05:40,398 --> 00:05:43,868 Всё, что мне нужно делать - слушаться тебя? Окей. Легко.
- 00:05:43,868 --> 00:05:46,698 А ты будешь делать всю мою домашку и стирку всю неделю.
- 00:05:46,698 --> 00:05:49,828 -Хмм.. дай подумать. Стирка - не моя сильная сторона.
- 00:05:49,828 --> 00:05:52,368 Да, черт возьми, где моя пушка, что заставляет людей делать то, что я хочу?
- 00:05:52,368 --> 00:05:54,078 Да, это я спрятала все твои пушки.
- 00:05:54,078 --> 00:05:56,708 Люди в голубых зонах не любят нас настолько,
- 00:05:56,708 --> 00:05:57,748 насколько должны.
- 00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,298 А вот здесь - зеленая зона, которая обознает,
- 00:05:59,298 --> 00:06:01,968 в каких домах выдают больше всего конфет на Хеллоуин.
- 00:06:01,968 --> 00:06:05,218 Немного дополнительных усилий и, я думаю, мы сможем быстро повысить уровень симпатии.
- 00:06:05,218 --> 00:06:06,758 Готов сделать всё необходимое?
- 00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:08,058 Ты имеешь ввиду всякие секс-штуки?
- 00:06:08,058 --> 00:06:09,388 - Да, возможно. - Тогда да.
- 00:06:09,388 --> 00:06:11,308 Тогда давай агрессивно заставим людей полюбить нас.
- 00:06:11,978 --> 00:06:14,228 Шона, это полная коллекция друзей МакНаггетса.
- 00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:16,398 А вот и ты. Джереми, твой золотой слиток.
- 00:06:16,398 --> 00:06:17,768 Можешь засунуть его себе в задницу.
- 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,188 Карсон, это твой сын.
- 00:06:19,188 --> 00:06:21,528 Он снова жив. Вот и все, веселитесь.
- 00:06:23,358 --> 00:06:24,818 Благодарности Корво!
- 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,738 О, боги! Я чувствую ноги!
- 00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:29,238 У меня есть ноги!
- 00:06:29,238 --> 00:06:31,368 Правда их довольно тяжело контроллировать.
- 00:06:31,368 --> 00:06:33,538 Нет, нет, нет, нет, нет!
- 00:06:33,538 --> 00:06:35,788 Нет никаких пробок! Вы приедете рано.
- 00:06:35,788 --> 00:06:36,788 Продолжайте движение. Добро пожаловать.
- 00:06:36,788 --> 00:06:37,788 - Всем добро пожаловать. - Вы приедете вовремя!
- 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:40,298 Вы приедете вовремя! Никаких пробок сегодня.
- 00:06:40,298 --> 00:06:42,048 Терри и Корво. - Всё верно, Терри, этого хватит.
- 00:06:42,048 --> 00:06:43,258 Пора идти.
- 00:06:44,128 --> 00:06:45,888 Нет, нет, нет, нет, нет!
- 00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:54,348 Я не хочу говорить с Мистером Дач, он мудак.
- 00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:57,108 Он всегда есть ланч в одиночестве в своём офисе.
- 00:06:57,108 --> 00:06:59,318 Давай узнаем почему!
- 00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,478 Эй, проваливайте отсюда.
- 00:07:00,478 --> 00:07:03,028 У меня есть лишняя порция пуддинга сегодня, Мистер Дач.
- 00:07:03,028 --> 00:07:04,568 Я подумала, вам бы хотелось.
- 00:07:04,568 --> 00:07:06,658 Мне не нужен чертов пуддинг. Я
- 00:07:07,368 --> 00:07:09,238 Моя бывшая жена раньше собирала мне ланч.
- 00:07:09,238 --> 00:07:11,748 С тех пор, как мы разошлись, я делаю это сам.
- 00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:13,618 Извините, что был мудаком в этом году.
- 00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:14,658 Я.. Мне пришлось через многое пройти.
- 00:07:14,658 --> 00:07:17,538 С каждым случается, Мистер Дач. Вы там держитесь.
- 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,708 Спасибо, Джесси.
- 00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:22,168 И знаете что? Вы оба можете не бежать километровку на следующей неделе.
- 00:07:22,168 --> 00:07:24,338 Я просто скажу, что вы пробежали за 6 минут.
- 00:07:24,338 --> 00:07:26,508 Видишь, мы были милы к нему, и теперь
- 00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:28,258 нам не нужно делать километровку.
- 00:07:28,258 --> 00:07:29,678 Это правда. Вот как это работает.
- 00:07:29,678 --> 00:07:32,138 Ага, может это и сработало со старым, одиноким учителем физ-ры, но
- 00:07:32,138 --> 00:07:34,598 Как насчет тех серферов на Форс Бич?
- 00:07:34,598 --> 00:07:36,898 Я их ненавижу. Они всегда отвратительно со мной обращаются.
- 00:07:36,898 --> 00:07:41,358 Что-то мне подсказывает, что сегодня может быть немного иначе. Подмигиваю.
- 00:07:41,358 --> 00:07:43,568 О боги, боги, боги! Ты видишь это, Терри?
- 00:07:43,568 --> 00:07:45,528 Работает! Мы одурачили их и теперь стали друзьями!
- 00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:47,608 Такое приятное чувство, я чувствую себя полноценным.
- 00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:48,738 Мы популярны!
- 00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:51,448 Солнечные Противоположности вернутся сразу после нескольких..
- 00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,448 ..нескольких следующих объявлений.
- 00:07:55,998 --> 00:07:57,788 А теперь обратно к Солнечным Противоположностям.
- 00:07:57,788 --> 00:08:01,038 А если бы перешел на платный Hulu, тогда бы не было коммерческого перерыва,
- 00:08:01,038 --> 00:08:03,958 который не имеет большого смысла и возможно довольно неприятен.
- 00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:05,418 Все для тебя, Мистер Богач.
- 00:08:06,468 --> 00:08:08,048 Фил, у меня тут есть фартук с твоим именем на нем.
- 00:08:08,048 --> 00:08:09,798 Тут есть лазерная гравировка прямо в середине, видишь?
- 00:08:09,798 --> 00:08:12,138 Как твой мирный развод, Энджи?
- 00:08:12,138 --> 00:08:13,638 Фил, попробуй картофельный салат:
- 00:08:13,638 --> 00:08:16,598 твои желудочные соки растворят его, а потом ты выделишь его через пару дней.
- 00:08:16,598 --> 00:08:19,148 Смотри, это лучший город, где я когда-либо жил,
- 00:08:19,148 --> 00:08:20,608 а я из космоса.
- 00:08:20,608 --> 00:08:22,898 Я ведь должен узнать хороший город, когда увижу, ведь я и на луне был.
- 00:08:22,898 --> 00:08:25,148 Оу, хэй. Не прячья от меня там, Делвин.
- 00:08:25,148 --> 00:08:27,608 Я хочу послушать про дантиста. Покажи мне эти челюсти!
- 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,488 Ты и Корво стали здесь довольно популярны, Тер.
- 00:08:30,488 --> 00:08:32,948 Ага, некоторые люди так и притягвают к себе других, как мне кажется.
- 00:08:32,948 --> 00:08:34,998 В них есть что-то. Что-то вроде харизмы.
- 00:08:34,998 --> 00:08:35,868 Действие харизмы продолжается.
- 00:08:35,868 --> 00:08:38,748 Ребята, вам пора баллотироваться в председатели ТСЖ.
- 00:08:38,748 --> 00:08:40,628 Рут, пожилая леди, управляет сейчас?
- 00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:42,918 Было бы круто, если бы эта сучка свалила.
- 00:08:42,918 --> 00:08:44,748 Один странный парень с хвостиком только что сказал мне, что
- 00:08:44,748 --> 00:08:46,588 если мы будем баллотироваться в председатели ТСЖ, то выиграем!
- 00:08:46,588 --> 00:08:48,218 Терри, ты знаешь, что это значит?
- 00:08:48,218 --> 00:08:49,468 Мы сможем парковать фургон на подъездной дорожке.
- 00:08:49,468 --> 00:08:50,968 Мы можем ввести здесь собственные правила.
- 00:08:50,968 --> 00:08:52,508 И никаких больше " покрасить корабль".
- 00:08:52,508 --> 00:08:54,638 Никаких " не стройте гиганские дыры
- 00:08:54,638 --> 00:08:56,978 посреди дороги, чтобы ловить детей".
- 00:08:56,978 --> 00:08:59,558 Я мог бы сделать что-то крутое в стиле Диснеевского "Открытого чека",
- 00:08:59,558 --> 00:09:02,398 типа построить водную горку, что уходит под землю прямо из окна,
- 00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:04,478 а ты сможешь смотреть встроенную диораму с динозаврами, которую мы построим тут.
- 00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:05,528 и это, о боги, это будет круто!
- 00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:08,108 Все будут обязаны любить нас, по уставу ТСЖ.
- 00:09:08,108 --> 00:09:10,068 Что значит, что им будет нравиться, как я выкапываю трупы
- 00:09:10,068 --> 00:09:11,738 на кладбище и устраиваю им трах.
- 00:09:11,738 --> 00:09:15,868 И единственный, кто может вмешаться - старушка - председательница Рут.
- 00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:17,328 - Рут. - Рут.
- 00:09:17,328 --> 00:09:19,328 Рууут!
- 00:09:19,328 --> 00:09:21,168 Терри, нет. Давай просто пошпионим.
- 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,998 Я не понимаю. Она сидит в своей качалке уже семь часов.
- 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,708 - Не выглядит особо сложно. - Это называется выносливостью. Она выпендривается.
- 00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:30,338 Я нервничаю. Она реальный претендент, Корво. Они никогда не проигрывают!
- 00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,508 Мальчики, хотите печенек с арахисовым маслом?
- 00:09:32,508 --> 00:09:33,598 Да она нас запугивает!
- 00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:36,808 Не поможете мне достать одеяло с верхней полки?
- 00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,138 Да ей миллион лет, чувак, она скорее всего знает всё.
- 00:09:39,138 --> 00:09:40,638 Как нам с этим соперничать? Нам нужен возраст!
- 00:09:40,638 --> 00:09:41,848 Я могу обновить наноботов,
- 00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,768 сделать их больше, чтобы они могли собрать больше информации.
- 00:09:43,768 --> 00:09:45,188 Тебя сместят, сучка.
- 00:09:47,728 --> 00:09:49,648 Извини за разборки , Юмюлак.
- 00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:53,488 Я думаю, что мы были так зациклены на высмеивании твоих сосков,
- 00:09:53,488 --> 00:09:57,328 потому что наш дружок ДжейТи прищемил мондо шреддером
- 00:09:57,328 --> 00:09:59,288 и отстойнейшим образом застрял.
- 00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,908 Я абсолютно понимаю.
- 00:10:00,908 --> 00:10:04,418 Видишь? Они пытались скрыть собственные комплексы из-за сосков.
- 00:10:04,418 --> 00:10:07,378 Я бы сделал тоже самое, если бы прищемил мондо.
- 00:10:07,378 --> 00:10:10,258 Почему мы такие милые? Я хочу убить это мелкое синее..
- 00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:12,128 Юмюлак рулит!
- 00:10:12,128 --> 00:10:13,718 О чем и речь!
- 00:10:13,718 --> 00:10:15,388 Джесси, поверить не могу, что говорю это,
- 00:10:15,388 --> 00:10:17,758 но я даже рад, что ты спрятала мой уменьшающий луч,
- 00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:21,638 потому что сегодня я узнал, что люди ведут себя как придурки, когда ты сам придурок.
- 00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,768 Секундочку, ты ведь не притворяешься, что любишь людей,
- 00:10:23,768 --> 00:10:25,608 только чтобы получить свой луч обратно?
- 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:26,608 Я не чмо.
- 00:10:26,608 --> 00:10:29,858 Нет, я действительно хочу подружиться с каждым придурком в городе.
- 00:10:29,858 --> 00:10:31,948 - Да! - И знаю прекрасное место, куда пойти дальше.
- 00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:33,198 -Хмм.. Дай угадаю.
- 00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:34,778 Ребята, которые работают в ГеймГрейп,
- 00:10:34,778 --> 00:10:37,028 в магазине б\у игр в ТЦ?
- 00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:39,698 Они всегда такие грубияны, но может быть сегодня...
- 00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:41,158 Неа, намного лучше. Идём!
- 00:10:41,158 --> 00:10:44,958 Что ? А, окей. Подожди!
- 00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:52,468 На самом деле, знаешь что? Достаточно на сегодня!
- 00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:54,258 - Ты достаточно вырос и я думаю.. - Ни за что.
- 00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:56,718 Я должен узнать почему эти парни такие ужасные.
- 00:10:56,718 --> 00:10:58,928 Уверен, что это опять что-то про развод и одинокие завтраки.
- 00:10:58,928 --> 00:11:00,018 О, черт.
- 00:11:00,968 --> 00:11:03,188 - Эй, у нас есть ножницы? У меня немного заняты руки.
- 00:11:03,188 --> 00:11:05,188 Заткнись, Терри. Я обновляю наноботов.
- 00:11:05,188 --> 00:11:07,148 Продвинуты ноноботы дадут нам больше информации,
- 00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:09,688 а больше информации, значит больше шансов выиграть дебаты.
- 00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:13,068 Прекрасная идея. Ведь всё всегда идет по плану, когда ты делаешь роботов слишом умными.
- 00:11:22,578 --> 00:11:24,408 - Что ж, уверен, что это последний.
- 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:41,008 Привет? Если здесь кто-то есть, то полиция уже в пути.
- 00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:55,988 Мы знаем всё, что можно узнать о каждом в городе.
- 00:11:55,988 --> 00:11:57,698 Чего они хотят, какие у них секреты.
- 00:11:57,698 --> 00:12:00,078 Я знаю даже то, чего они сами о себе не знают.
- 00:12:00,078 --> 00:12:03,368 Тод,д например. Его любимый цвет не красный, а оранжевый.
- 00:12:03,368 --> 00:12:05,288 Да,да,да,да. Кому не плевать, кому есть дело? Так что с Рут?
- 00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:07,618 Чего она боится? Может у неё есть аллергии?
- 00:12:07,618 --> 00:12:09,998 - Что её возьмет? - А это моё слепое пятно.
- 00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:12,838 Эта старая иссохшая карга отказывается пить воду.
- 00:12:12,838 --> 00:12:15,338 Конечно! Старики пьют только Колу и никогда не моются.
- 00:12:15,338 --> 00:12:17,428 Не важно. Единственное, что нужно о ней узнать это,
- 00:12:17,428 --> 00:12:20,388 когда она планирует оставить пост главы ТСЖ.
- 00:12:20,388 --> 00:12:21,638 Ничто нас не остановит!
- 00:12:21,638 --> 00:12:24,178 Терри!
- 00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:30,558 Окей, слушайте, вы все нас знаете.
- 00:12:30,558 --> 00:12:32,978 Я и Корво, мы даем вам то, чего вы хотите.
- 00:12:32,978 --> 00:12:35,278 Если вы за нас проголосуете, мы вас обеспечим.
- 00:12:35,278 --> 00:12:37,068 Захотите огромных лежащий полицейских запускающих машину
- 00:12:37,068 --> 00:12:38,818 в воздух как в "Придурках из Хезарда"? Пожалуйста.
- 00:12:38,818 --> 00:12:41,368 Хотите подъемник? Я уже набросал план.
- 00:12:41,368 --> 00:12:43,328 Мы можем приступить к делу уже сегодня.
- 00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:47,158 Два слова: Интернет. Волокно. Не в том порядке.
- 00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:48,118 А вы понимаете!
- 00:12:48,118 --> 00:12:50,498 У вас всех будет сверхскоростной интернет!
- 00:12:50,498 --> 00:12:52,538 Знаешь что? Мне немного обидно за Рут.
- 00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,378 Уверен, она умрет прям в этом кресле, когда мы выиграем.
- 00:12:54,378 --> 00:12:56,088 Я поверить не могу, что мы станем председателями.
- 00:12:56,088 --> 00:12:59,088 Это восхитительно. Председатель Корво. Мистер Корво.
- 00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:00,678 Стой.
- 00:13:01,178 --> 00:13:02,388 Что за черт?
- 00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:04,508 О, боги, нет, наноботы!
- 00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:06,478 Я должен говорить.
- 00:13:06,478 --> 00:13:08,688 Не слушайте этого парня.
- 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:11,268 Он даже не парень, а просто кучка роботов.
- 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,558 Это правда.
- 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:17,238 Я состою из триллионов микроскопических, само-реплицирующихся роботов,
- 00:13:17,238 --> 00:13:18,648 но я знаю
- 00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:21,568 что все люди требуют
- 00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:24,118 требуют
- 00:13:24,118 --> 00:13:26,998 стоп-знака на углу Оак и Мейн.
- 00:13:26,998 --> 00:13:29,498 Люди проезжают там, как будто это стритрейсинг.
- 00:13:29,498 --> 00:13:31,538 Это должно закончиться и я могу это сделать.
- 00:13:31,538 --> 00:13:32,918 - Нет. Что? - Нет, нет, нет, нет, нет.
- 00:13:32,918 --> 00:13:34,798 Я так не думаю, останавливаем отсчет.
- 00:13:34,798 --> 00:13:37,128 Дебаты уже окончены. Сейчас время голосования.
- 00:13:37,128 --> 00:13:38,798 Откуда у тебя этот гостюм? Снимай.
- 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,928 - Это мой костюм. - Гордон, что за черт?
- 00:13:43,928 --> 00:13:47,348 Я сначала тоже подумал, что этот Чувак-Нанобот был чем-то типа
- 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,978 страшных типов их Секретных Материалов, типа монстром.
- 00:13:49,978 --> 00:13:51,938 Но потом, он сводил меня на ужин с о стейками.
- 00:13:51,938 --> 00:13:52,978 И это всё, что требуется?
- 00:13:52,978 --> 00:13:57,148 Народ, последнее, чего бы мне хотелось это продливать эти скучные выборы ТСЖ,
- 00:13:57,148 --> 00:14:00,068 но я думаю, что если вы послушаете минутку, я бы смог
- 00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,988 повлиять на ваши голоса.
- 00:14:01,988 --> 00:14:03,868 Я приказываю тебе покинуть это место!
- 00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:05,198 Давайте его послушаем!
- 00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:12,288 Эй, чуваки, у меня тут есть пуддинг!
- 00:14:12,288 --> 00:14:14,878 Кто-то хочет ванильно-шоколадный свирл?
- 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,878 Слушай, эти чуваки реально глубоко ранены.
- 00:14:19,878 --> 00:14:21,298 Возможно потребуется больше одной порции пуддинга.
- 00:14:21,298 --> 00:14:22,678 Я знаю, нам ведь правда лучше сейчас уйти,да?
- 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,678 Тебе стоит спеть им свою песенку о дружбе!
- 00:14:24,678 --> 00:14:26,428 Не знаю, хорошая ли это идея
- 00:14:28,098 --> 00:14:29,388 Какого черта?
- 00:14:29,388 --> 00:14:31,228 Эй, парни, если вы думаете, что панк рулит,
- 00:14:31,228 --> 00:14:32,938 зацените, что споет моя сестра.
- 00:14:36,228 --> 00:14:40,238 Межрасовая дружба и любовь
- 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,738 Слушай, я реально думаю, что в основном люди хорошие,
- 00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,118 но чтобы доказать это тебе сегодня,
- 00:14:49,118 --> 00:14:51,368 я установила микрочипы в головы твоих врагов,
- 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,828 которые делали их милыми, когда я жала на кнопкую
- 00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:55,668 Но я не знала об этих нео-нацистах,
- 00:14:55,668 --> 00:14:57,918 так что это не сработает и , я думаю, мы умрем.
- 00:14:57,918 --> 00:14:59,748 А я говорил тебе, что некоторые люди - плохие.
- 00:14:59,748 --> 00:15:02,128 Ты прав! Некоторые действительно очень и очень плохие!
- 00:15:02,128 --> 00:15:03,678 Это прям как Зеленая комната в кино.
- 00:15:06,968 --> 00:15:08,598 Дарнел, твоя газонокосилка сломалась,
- 00:15:08,598 --> 00:15:10,348 а они больше не выпускают моторы, верно?
- 00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:14,728 На, держи, распечатано на 3Д !
- 00:15:14,728 --> 00:15:17,018 И маленькая Элизабет, рожденная слепой.
- 00:15:17,018 --> 00:15:18,608 Посмотрим, что с этим можно сделать.
- 00:15:20,188 --> 00:15:21,188 Держи!
- 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,778 Я могу видеть все запахи и звуки! Это удивительно!
- 00:15:23,778 --> 00:15:26,278 Кажется, ваш выбор очевиден:
- 00:15:26,278 --> 00:15:29,198 голос за Нанобота - голос за счастье.
- 00:15:29,198 --> 00:15:31,788 Единственная причина, по которой он знает чего вы хотите - он был в вашей моче.
- 00:15:32,328 --> 00:15:35,328 Правда, Нанобот шпионил за вами всё это время.
- 00:15:35,328 --> 00:15:37,828 Вы правда хотите голосовать чувака, что был у вас в штанах
- 00:15:37,828 --> 00:15:39,248 или где-то еще?
- 00:15:39,248 --> 00:15:41,588 Это правда! Я вижу это! Я вижу всё!
- 00:15:43,378 --> 00:15:45,928 Это правда, я был в вашей моче.
- 00:15:46,758 --> 00:15:49,548 Я не хотел это обсуждать, но они заставили меня.
- 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:53,098 Корво - мой отец, это он построил наноботов для моего тела.
- 00:15:53,098 --> 00:15:55,438 Именно он и Терри поместили меня в воду,
- 00:15:55,438 --> 00:15:58,438 так что они могли читать ваши мысли и дарить подарки.
- 00:15:58,438 --> 00:16:00,018 Можете не можете избрать этих лжецов.
- 00:16:00,018 --> 00:16:02,528 Вы не их клиент, вы их продукт.
- 00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,738 Мы собирали данные для блага сообщества!
- 00:16:04,738 --> 00:16:06,568 Как еще нам было узнать, что Дейву нужны новый сарай
- 00:16:06,568 --> 00:16:07,698 для его новых секс-кукол?
- 00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:09,028 Мы можем дать ему этот сарай!
- 00:16:09,028 --> 00:16:11,908 Это не правда! У меня есть секс с живыми людьми!
- 00:16:11,908 --> 00:16:13,948 Мне нравится чувство, когда ты прижимаешься к
- 00:16:13,948 --> 00:16:16,498 теплому человеку из плоти и крови, который дает согласие.
- 00:16:16,498 --> 00:16:18,498 Я знаю вас лучше этих парней.
- 00:16:18,498 --> 00:16:21,748 Я знаю, что Бекки закопала своего гватемальского домоуправителя на заднем дворе.
- 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,588 Как насчет этого? Это огромный секрет.
- 00:16:23,588 --> 00:16:25,508 Прости, что? Ты убила Люпи?
- 00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:27,838 Джереми травит жену ради страховки.
- 00:16:27,838 --> 00:16:31,178 Лесли Донован преподает в классе, используя спрятанный вибратор.
- 00:16:31,178 --> 00:16:32,508 Саманта изменяет Майклу с Джоуи!
- 00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,888 Какого черта?
- 00:16:33,888 --> 00:16:36,518 Филлис потратила все деньги для детских лекарств от рака на сумочку.
- 00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:38,598 Бобби пронёс дерьмо в пирог в кафе.
- 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,268 Все должны быть в бешенстве от этого.
- 00:16:40,268 --> 00:16:42,608 - У Гэри фетиш на кактусы. - Роберт поцарапал машину Лесли.
- 00:16:42,608 --> 00:16:44,568 Это все твоя вина. Ты заставилвсех драться!
- 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,358 Черт возьми, Терри!
- 00:16:47,108 --> 00:16:48,908 - Отдай мне уменьшающий луч. - Он в кукольном домике!
- 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,818 Что? Ты понимаешь, что сейчас произойдет
- 00:16:50,818 --> 00:16:52,278 из-за того, что ты сделала?
- 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,618 Придется воспользоваться против них смертельным оружием.
- 00:16:54,618 --> 00:16:56,618 Я проткну тебя своим ножом ..
- 00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,918 ♪Играет Вальс Синего Дуная♪
- 00:17:04,418 --> 00:17:07,088 - Мне не нравится это делать! - Я же извинилась!
- 00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:09,468 Это костюм, не я.
- 00:17:10,138 --> 00:17:11,388 Костюм на автопилоте.
- 00:17:12,638 --> 00:17:14,968 Он просто делает это, извини.
- 00:17:15,598 --> 00:17:18,098 Может, я не знаю, будете толерантны в следующий раз.
- 00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:20,058 Простите. Простите. Простите.
- 00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:21,728 Простите за глаз.
- 00:17:25,398 --> 00:17:26,688 Чертов Нанобот!
- 00:17:26,688 --> 00:17:28,778 Это всё твоя вина! Ты никому не нравишься!
- 00:17:28,778 --> 00:17:29,528 Забери обратно!
- 00:18:03,728 --> 00:18:05,978 Окей, хватит. Все - прекратите.
- 00:18:05,978 --> 00:18:07,608 Заткнитесь все , черт возьми!
- 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:10,318 Посмотрите на себя. Это же позор.
- 00:18:10,318 --> 00:18:11,908 Я живут тут уже 30 лет
- 00:18:11,908 --> 00:18:14,618 и ни разу не было никакого научного дерьма.
- 00:18:14,618 --> 00:18:16,618 Вы хотите, чтобы всё было как нормально и регулярно.
- 00:18:16,618 --> 00:18:20,578 Не голосуйте за этих, тупых альфа-подобных ублюдков.
- 00:18:20,578 --> 00:18:22,578 С меня хватит. Нахер этих парней.
- 00:18:22,578 --> 00:18:23,628 Скажи им, Рут!
- 00:18:23,628 --> 00:18:25,538 Ты права, черт возьми! Я скажу им.
- 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,128 Это тупое дерьмо.
- 00:18:27,128 --> 00:18:29,168 Я хочу жить в покое, черт возьми.
- 00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:31,508 Голосуйте за меня, это всё , что я скажу.
- 00:18:31,508 --> 00:18:33,138 Рут! Рут! Рут!
- 00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:34,848 Но я могу производить бесплатное электричество
- 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:36,928 используя температурные изменения воздуха!
- 00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:40,058 Это спасет от глобального потепления! Ну же!
- 00:18:40,058 --> 00:18:43,098 А у меня есть крутые идеи насчет библиотеки видеоигр, которой мы все могли бы пользоваться!
- 00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:45,648 Заткнись и вали домой в Абиз!
- 00:18:45,648 --> 00:18:47,648 Не все инопланетяне с Абиз!
- 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,228 Я тебя даже не знаю, ты кто?
- 00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:51,488 Я - Тайлер! И я думаю, что ты чмо.
- 00:18:51,488 --> 00:18:53,068 Я знал! Я знал, что это Тайлер!
- 00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:54,868 Да пошел ты! Я всегда тебя ненавидел!
- 00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:56,238 Почему мы вообще должны быть из Абиз?
- 00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:58,698 У нас космический корабль торчит из крыши.
- 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,498 Думаю порой, когда ты получаешь сознание
- 00:19:01,498 --> 00:19:03,458 и ты переполнен информацией о своих соседях,
- 00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:04,828 ты можешь перемудрить.
- 00:19:04,828 --> 00:19:06,458 Я всего лишь пытался помочь,
- 00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:08,708 а закончил, навредив тем, кто я люблю.
- 00:19:08,708 --> 00:19:10,128 Правда, ребят, мне очень жаль.
- 00:19:10,128 --> 00:19:11,758 Надеюсь, я вам все еще нравлюсь после всего этого.
- 00:19:11,758 --> 00:19:14,218 Да, ты мне все еще нравишься, Мистер Нанобот.
- 00:19:14,218 --> 00:19:15,928 Но знаешь, что? Я начинаю думать, что
- 00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:18,048 мне стоит перестать беспокоиться о том, кому я нравлюсь.
- 00:19:18,048 --> 00:19:20,468 Я думаю, что некоторые люди - невольные фанатики,
- 00:19:20,468 --> 00:19:22,138 которые не понимают, что перед ними что-то хорошее, когда видят это.
- 00:19:22,138 --> 00:19:24,308 Мы, люди науки, должны держаться друг друга.
- 00:19:24,308 --> 00:19:26,808 Честно говоря, я горжусь, что сделал таких хороших наноботов,
- 00:19:26,808 --> 00:19:28,398 что они пытались прибрать к рукам весь район.
- 00:19:28,398 --> 00:19:30,728 А теперь все вы, обратно в мешок: нам пора поработать над кораблем.
- 00:19:30,728 --> 00:19:32,688 Но я хочу жить в доме и любить,
- 00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:34,068 и составить книгу рецептов.
- 00:19:34,068 --> 00:19:36,868 Что ж. Мне нужно распылить вас на панель навигации.
- 00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:38,698 Вы ведь должны слушаться, верно?
- 00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:39,948 Вернись!
- 00:19:39,948 --> 00:19:41,538 Ты не можешь просто так освободиться! Черт!
- 00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:42,908 Они так быстро растут.
- 00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:44,658 Что ж, раз уж мы проиграли выборы
- 00:19:44,658 --> 00:19:46,918 и все теперь высоко-концептуальные расисты,
- 00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:49,338 По-моему это значит, что придется покрасить корабль в тон крыши.
- 00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:51,628 Я сделаю его еще более серебряным, чем раньше.
- 00:19:51,628 --> 00:19:55,128 Я буду зажигать его по ночам так, чтобы Рут за километр видела.
- 00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,928 - Но правила.. - 50 долларов штрафа. Схаваю.
- 00:19:57,928 --> 00:19:59,218 Ага, но потом мы перестанем нравиться людям
- 00:20:01,178 --> 00:20:02,678 - Ты снова дал ему конфеты? - Нет!
- 00:20:02,678 --> 00:20:04,268 Черт возьми, Терри! Он же откуда-то их берет
- 00:20:04,268 --> 00:20:06,308 и если не от меня, значит от тебя!
- 00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:08,108 Да не знаю я, чувак. Я бы запомнил, если бы давал, но
- 00:20:08,108 --> 00:20:09,058 Что ты имеешь ввиду под " я бы запомнил"?
- 00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:10,438 Если он берет их не у тебя, то откуда тогда?
- 00:20:10,438 --> 00:20:11,568 - Я не знаю, ладно? - Откуда?
- 00:20:11,568 --> 00:20:12,978 - Хватит на меня кричать! - Я буду кричать на тебя столько, сколько захочу.
- 00:20:13,488 --> 00:20:15,648 Не стоило тебе лгать.
- 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,868 Люди - сложные, но я не знала, что настолько,
- 00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:20,328 что попытаются нас убить.
- 00:20:20,328 --> 00:20:22,328 После сегодняшего, я могу сказать, что тебе важно,
- 00:20:22,328 --> 00:20:24,078 кого и почему я помещаю на стену.
- 00:20:24,078 --> 00:20:27,538 Так что с этого момента, я буду следить , что каждым там - заслуживает своего места.
- 00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:29,208 О, парень в красной рубашке.
- 00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:33,298 - Стой, но.. - Смотри, у меня есть люди в рубашках всех цветов.
- 00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:36,218 Обещаю, мы воспользуемся надлежащей правовой процедурой на следующем.
- 00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:37,178 Не ори на меня.
- 00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:38,968 Да, он скорее всего был нацистом.
- 00:20:40,298 --> 00:20:42,598 Мне нравятся люди, но я ненавижу ботинки.
- 00:20:42,598 --> 00:20:44,888 Как же нам тогда пробовать землю?
- 00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:46,848 Я не знаю, они сами свою землю не чувсвуют.
- 00:20:46,848 --> 00:20:48,598 Пфф. Странно, верно?
- 00:20:49,938 --> 00:20:51,898 Эй, что тут происходить? Где мы?
- 00:20:51,898 --> 00:20:53,068 Что это? Что это!?
- 00:20:53,068 --> 00:20:54,188 Что за чертовщина происходит?
- 00:20:59,988 --> 00:21:02,368 Боже, что это за место?
- 00:21:04,868 --> 00:21:06,248 Стой, почему, куда ты уходишь?
- 00:21:06,248 --> 00:21:07,458 Куда угодно отсюда!
- 00:21:24,758 --> 00:21:27,308 - Не бей, не бей, не бей! - Выверни карманы.
- 00:21:28,768 --> 00:21:30,518 Эй, стой, стой, эй.
- 00:21:30,518 --> 00:21:31,648 Я не отсюда!
- 00:21:31,648 --> 00:21:34,318 Двое иноплнетян уменьшили меня без причины.
- 00:21:34,318 --> 00:21:36,488 Я просто обычный парень. Я не никому ничего не сделал.
- 00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:38,278 Еще больше бандитов Таффи скоро тут появятся,
- 00:21:38,278 --> 00:21:39,908 и парни со жвачкой выдвинутся на юг ночью.
- 00:21:39,908 --> 00:21:41,908 Не хотелось бы быть где-то подлизости, когда они встретятся.
- 00:21:41,908 --> 00:21:43,528 Они называются "парни со жвачкой"?
- 00:21:44,158 --> 00:21:45,538 Они любят жвачку.
- 00:21:53,788 --> 00:21:55,588 Они что, сняли "Правдивая Ложь -2 "
- 00:21:55,588 --> 00:21:57,168 Фильм с Арнольдом Шварцнегером.
- 00:21:57,168 --> 00:21:58,878 А сиквел будет?
- 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,048 Whoa, hey. Oh, what is that thing?
- 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,800 Oh, don't throw that out. I can sell that on eBay.
- 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:12,595 - It has an unstable gray hole inside. - You're an unstable gray hole.
- 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,097 - Nice. - It's too big for the trash.
- 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,765 I'm gonna dump it behind the Burger King.
- 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,435 Don't, no, I can sell it and then buy a chocolate fountain
- 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,145 so I can stop making a mess in the microwave
- 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,521 and you won't have to yell at me anymore!
- 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,732 Look at the Pupa. I told you to stop giving the Pupa candy.
- 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,108 He can't eat candy, it gets him sick!
- 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,484 I didn't--I don't give him candy anymore.
- 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:27,402 Well, he's getting it from someone!
- 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,528 God, one time.
- 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:29,946 Oh great, now what.
- 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,367 The homeowners association is updating the rules again.
- 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,411 "Gardeners need to have marked trucks.
- 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,371 "No RV parking in the driveway.
- 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,666 All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim."
- 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,835 - Are you hearing this? - Ooh, we should totally get an RV.
- 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,963 It looks fine the way it is. I don't want it to blend into the house.
- 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,257 It's my whole thing, I'm the spaceship guy!
- 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,093 Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house!
- 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,095 If we had an RV, that probably wouldn't even be a big deal.
- 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,221 'Cause we could just live in an RV.
- 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,140 Stupid HOA, singling us out.
- 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,851 You know, Terry, this proves that everyone in the neighborhood hates us.
- 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,771 Oh, speak for yourself, man. I am extremely likable.
- 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,355 I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room
- 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,440 when I'm walking down the street?
- 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,025 - They're avoiding us! - They love us.
- 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,778 I think there's only one way to find out who's right.
- 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,779 - Nanobots. - Buy an RV.
- 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:11,696 Nan--Nanobots.
- 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,241 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.</i>
- 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,659 <i>Until the asteroid hit.</i>
- 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,413 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
- 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,373 <i>and escaped into, uh, the space,</i>
- 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,251 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
- 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,421 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
- 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,298 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
- 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,175 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
- 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,469 <i>This is--this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?</i>
- 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,845 <i>This is ridiculous.</i>
- 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,599 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. People are stupid.</i>
- 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,392 <i>I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices</i>
- 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,436 <i>when you could just wear a thick, coarse robe.</i>
- 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,688 <i>It's the perfect garment. Boots and a robe. Easy.</i>
- 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you weren't shrinking kids down anymore?
- 00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,495 These are adults. I got a couple litterbugs,
- 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,039 a lady who had 15 items in the 12-item lane,
- 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,250 and a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed-jewel."
- 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,585 That's not wall worthy, that's you being a jerk.
- 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,462 Relax, they love it.
- 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,882 Ha ha ha, look at 'em.
- 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:15,510 Seems like somebody needs to learn a lesson.
- 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,512 Hey, little guy!
- 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,894 That's the alarm! Lucky for you, I've been teaching myself to hack at night
- 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,604 while you've been wasting your time sleeping.
- 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,481 Alexa, turn off alarm.
- 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,774 <i>Alarm deactivated.</i>
- 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,152 - Stupid Alexa. Always listening. - Hold it right there! I'm armed!
- 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,653 Lethal force! Zap him with the bone zapper.
- 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,447 - Crap, now it's out of charge! - Bite down on your poison teeth!
- 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,448 Terry?
- 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,658 Gordon?
- 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:39,868 Wait, you-you work here?
- 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,954 Yup, yeah, man, it's my third job. I got three jobs, one, two, three.
- 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,081 - Got the three banger jobs, you know. - Oh, man, well, that's good news.
- 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,709 You guys just here to jump in and splash around the water pools?
- 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,211 Yeah, duh, but we also want to dump microscopic robots
- 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,297 in the town water supply so we can find out if people like us.
- 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,132 - Wait, what? - No, it's not what you think.
- 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:57,343 Everyone will unknowingly drink water contaminated with our nanobots,
- 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,053 which will harvest all their memories,
- 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,097 and then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here.
- 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,600 I think that sounds like a lot of fun, guys.
- 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,018 Hey, the room with the big pool of water
- 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,311 that everyone drinks from is right over here.
- 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,937 - Come on. - How do you, uh, know this guy?
- 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:08,897 He sold me a gun.
- 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,817 Be sure to break up the clumps or they might become sentient.
- 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,736 Hey, man, are you sure this is gonna work?
- 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:17,280 Well, it better, each one of these nanobot cost me 24 cents.
- 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,463 Each <i>Mortal Kombat</i> movie is better than the last.
- 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,756 I mean, they should reboot them.
- 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,716 Honestly, can you imagine how boffo the box office would be?
- 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,384 We forgot to check the nanobots!
- 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,911 Oww!
- 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:10,875 Yah!
- 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,054 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it.
- 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:26,140 How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there?
- 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,059 I'm just kidding, I don't care.
- 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,186 I work at the water treatment plant, I'm not a cop.
- 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,815 Oh, hey, by the way, I got some heroin. You guys wanna do heroin?
- 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,528 It worked. We have pee-data on everyone in the neighborhood!
- 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,488 I can finally reduce people to statistics!
- 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,741 Blood type, what their favorite song is, what percentage gay they are--
- 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,368 Ooh! This is how much people like us!
- 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,578 What the hell? Trent from around the block doesn't like
- 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,498 that I let Pupa go number two on his lawn? Where the heck is he supposed to go?
- 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:53,960 Brooke and Diane both think I ask too many questions at the grocery store.
- 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,211 I'm from outer space!
- 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,255 It's not clear to me why you have to cook bread twice.
- 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:58,381 Mitchell thinks I'm too loud!
- 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,341 I knew it! We're unlikable, aren't we?
- 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,844 Is it the sci-fi stuff? Do I smell bad? What is it?
- 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,722 Looks like people just generally don't like us! One guy hates you.
- 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,307 - Who? - This, uh--some dude Tyler.
- 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,933 I don't even know anyone named Tyler.
- 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,518 Ugh, it feels like I'm covered in bees!
- 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,520 Fuck this Tyler guy. What did I ever do to him?
- 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,981 We-we-we can act different, Korvo. I mean, we can make people like us.
- 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,983 I need to repair this godforsaken ship.
- 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,402 And if people don't like us, that will make that job
- 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,070 so much harder in so many ways.
- 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,740 I don't need to be liked, it's strictly a work necessity.
- 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,116 Well, I need to be liked!
- 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,076 Dang it, have you seen my shrink ray anywhere?
- 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,329 I'm hoping it didn't shrink. How ironic would that be.
- 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,621 - I hid it. - Give it back!
- 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,915 I will, but first I want to prove to you
- 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,668 that humans are mostly basically good life forms.
- 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,005 For the last couple months, you've been putting way too many people in the wall.
- 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,381 You need to pump the brakes, mister.
- 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,843 All I have to do is follow you around? Fine. Easy.
- 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,679 And you have to do all my homework and laundry for a week.
- 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,724 Hmmm... let me think. Uh, laundry's not my strong suit.
- 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,352 Um, dang it, did you hide my gun that makes people do what I want?
- 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,062 Yeah, I hid all your guns.
- 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,689 All the blue areas are pockets where people don't like us
- 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,732 as much as they should.
- 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,150 And over here in this green area,
- 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,944 that marks which houses give out the biggest candy bars on Halloween.
- 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,198 With a little extra effort, I think we can up our likability fast.
- 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:08,034 - Are you ready to do what it takes? - You mean sex stuff?
- 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,452 - It's possible. Yeah. - Then yes.
- 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,871 Then let's aggressively make people like us!
- 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,207 Shauna, the complete McNugget buddy collection.
- 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,376 - Here you go. - Jeremiah, here's a gold bar.
- 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,170 - You can put it up your butt. - Carson, it's your son.
- 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,506 He's alive again. There you go. Have fun.
- 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:27,720 - Courtesy of Korvo! - Oh my god, I can feel my legs!
- 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,349 I have legs! These are kind of hard to control.
- 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,101 No, no, no, no, no, no!
- 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:37,271 No traffic, no traffic! You're all gonna be early. Keep moving. You're welcome.
- 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,689 - Everybody's welcome. - You're getting there early!
- 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,274 You're getting there early! No traffic today.
- 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,276 - Terry and Korvo. - All right, Terry, that's enough.
- 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,444 L-L-let's go.
- 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,947 No, no, no, no, no!
- 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,330 I don't wanna talk to Mr. Dutch, he's a dick.
- 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,083 He always eats lunch alone in his office.
- 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,293 Let's find out why, shall we?
- 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,711 Hey! Get outta here.
- 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,005 I had an extra pudding cup today, Mr. Dutch.
- 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,549 I thought you might want it.
- 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,634 I don't want any stupid pudding. I--
- 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,220 My ex-wife used to pack my lunch.
- 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,722 Ever since we separated, I've been doing it on my own.
- 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,599 I'm sorry if I've been kind of a dick this year.
- 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,642 I've--I've been going through a lot.
- 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,520 Everyone has shit to deal with, Mr. Dutch. You hang in there.
- 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,646 Thank you, Jesse.
- 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:22,150 You know what? Neither of you need to run the mile in next week's fitness test.
- 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,318 I'll just say you both got six minutes.
- 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,487 See? We were nice to someone who was mean,
- 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,239 and now we don't have to run the mile.
- 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,615 That's true. That's how it panned out.
- 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,118 Yeah, that might work on a sad, old, lonely gym teacher, but--
- 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,579 What about those mean surfer guys at Fourth Beach?
- 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,873 Ugh, I hate them. They're always mean to me.
- 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:41,335 Something tells me that today might be a little different. Wink.
- 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,379 Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Are you seeing this, Terry?
- 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,506 It's working! We're tricking people into being our friends!
- 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,592 Ah, this feels so good, I feel so whole!
- 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:48,718 We're popular!
- 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,429 Solar Opposites <i>will be right back after these set of--</i>
- 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,431 <i>this set of subsequent advertisements.</i>
- 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,019 <i>And now, back to</i> Solar Opposites.
- 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:01,105 <i>Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break</i>
- 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,983 <i>and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring.</i>
- 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,401 <i>Good for you, Mr. Moneybags.</i>
- 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,112 Phil, I've got a brat with your name on it.
- 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,780 It's laser engraved right there in the middle, see?
- 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,116 How's that amicable divorce, A-A-Angie?
- 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,534 Phil,
- 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,579 your stomach acid will break it down, and then you'll poop it out in a few days.
- 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:20,416 Look, this is the best town I've ever lived in, and I'm from space.
- 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,877 I should know a good town when I see one 'cause I've been to the moon.
- 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,129 Oh, oh, hey, hey. Don't hide from me over there, Delvin.
- 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,590 I wanna hear about that dental thing. Show me those chompers!
- 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,134 You and Korvo have gotten pretty popular around here, Ter.
- 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,678 Yeah, some people are just natural unifiers, I guess.
- 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,848 We have the juice. It's like a little charisma thing. Charisma action going on.
- 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,726 You guys should run for the president of the HOA.
- 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,603 Ruth, the old lady who runs it now?
- 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,897 We would be so happy to see that bitch go.
- 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,732 Some weird guy with a ponytail just told me
- 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,567 that if we ran for president of the HOA, we'd win!
- 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,194 Oh my, Terry, do you know what that means?
- 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,947 - We could park an RV in the driveway. - We could make all the rules around here.
- 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,490 No more "paint the ship."
- 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,367 No more "don't build a giant hole
- 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,869 in the middle of the road to capture children in."
- 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,539 I-I-I could do some crazy Disney's <i>Blank Check</i> style stuff,
- 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,375 like build a water slide that goes down under the ground with a window
- 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,460 and you can see the dinosaur diorama we built down there
- 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,503 and, oh my god, it would be so awesome.
- 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,005 Everyone would have to like us, by HOA law.
- 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,049 Which means they would have to like me digging up dead bodies
- 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,717 at the cemetery and fucking them.
- 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,846 And the only person who can get in the way is the old lady president. Ruth.
- 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,306 - Ruth. - Ruth.
- 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,308 Ruuuuth.
- 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,143 Terry, no. Let's just go spy.
- 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,981 I don't get it, she's been sitting on her porch for seven hours.
- 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,148 Doesn't seem that tough.
- 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,692 It's called stamina. She's flexing.
- 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,319 I'm freaking out. She's the incumbent, Korvo. They never lose!
- 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,488 You boys want some peanut butter cookies?
- 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:33,573 Oh, she's threatening us!
- 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,784 Can you help me get a blanket down from my shelf?
- 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,120 She's a million years old, man, she probably knows everything.
- 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,621 How do we compete with that? We need an edge!
- 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,664 I can update the nanobots,
- 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,833 make them bigger so they can gather more information.
- 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,167 You're going down, bitch.
- 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,630 Sorry about the razzing, Yumyulack.
- 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,467 I guess, like, we were so focused on nicknaming and mocking your nipples
- 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,305 because our buddy JT got mondo chomped shredding the nar
- 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,265 and had to have his totes bummer jammed.
- 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,725 I totally understand.
- 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:04,395 See? They were projecting their own insecurities onto your nipples.
- 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:07,356 I would have done the same thing if you'd been mondo chomped.
- 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,610 Ugh, why are we being nice? I want to kill this little blue--
- 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,696 - Yumyulack rules! - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
- 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,364 Jesse, I can't believe I'm saying this,
- 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,742 but I'm actually glad you hid my shrink ray,
- 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,621 because today I learned that people are only jerks when you're a jerk to them.
- 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,748 Wait a minute, you're not just pretending to like humans
- 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,584 so you get the shrink ray back, right? I'm no schmuck.
- 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,837 No way, I genuinely want to make friends with every jerk in town.
- 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,922 - Yes! - And I know the perfect place to go next!
- 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,174 Hmm, let me guess.
- 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:37,011 The guys who work at GameGrape, the used game store in the mall.
- 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:39,680 They're always so mean to you, but I think today--
- 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,140 No, way better. Come on!
- 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:44,935 What? Um, okay, uh, wait, ooh, uh, oh boy--
- 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,443 A-actually, you know what? We've done enough for today!
- 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,195 - You've grown so much and I think-- - No way.
- 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:56,697 I need to find out why these guys are so mean.
- 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,075 I bet it's the ex-wife lonely lunch thing again.
- 00:10:59,158 --> 00:10:59,992 Oh man.
- 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,162 Hey, do we have any scissors? I'm in a little over my head here.
- 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,164 Shut the fuck up, Terry. I'm upgrading the nanobots.
- 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,124 Smarter nanobots means more information,
- 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,669 and more information means there's no way we lose the debate.
- 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,130 Such a good idea. Nothing ever goes wrong when you make robots too smart!
- 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,475 Well, I'm sure that's the last I'll see of that.
- 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,991 Hello? If anyone is in here, the police are on their way--Ohh!
- 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,910 Oh, oh, ow!
- 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,965 We know everything there is to know about everyone in town.
- 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,675 What they want, what their secrets are.
- 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,052 I know things about people they don't even know about themselves.
- 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:03,347 Like Todd? His favorite color isn't red. It's orange.
- 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,266 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares, who cares. What about Ruth?
- 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,601 What is she afraid of? Does she have any allergies?
- 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,979 - What is gonna take her down? - That's my one blind spot.
- 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,815 That old withered bag refuses to drink water.
- 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,317 Of course! Old people only drink Coke and they never shower.
- 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,403 It doesn't matter. The only thing we have to know about her is that
- 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,364 she's about to be the ex head of the HOA.
- 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:24,160 Nothing can stop us! Ha ha ha ha, Terry, ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:32,960 Okay, look, you all know us. Me and Korvo, we give you what you want.
- 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,254 If you vote for us, we've got you covered.
- 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,047 You want big speed bumps that launch your car
- 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,799 in the air like <i>Dukes of Hazzard?</i> Done.
- 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,343 You want a ski-lift? I already crayoned up the plans.
- 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,304 We can break ground today.
- 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:47,057 Internet. Fiber. Not in that order.
- 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,517 You're getting it!
- 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,478 You're all gonna have super-fast interneeeet!
- 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,480 You know what? I kinda feel bad for Ruth.
- 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,356 I bet she dies right in that chair when we win.
- 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,066 I can't believe we're going to be presidents.
- 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,069 This is amazing. President Korvo. Mister Korvo.
- 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,654 Wait.
- 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,032 Wait, what the hell is that?
- 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,492 Oh my god, no, the nanobots!
- 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,452 I must speak.
- 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,662 Hey, hey, no, no, no. Don't listen to this guy.
- 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,248 He isn't even really a guy, he's just a-a pile of robots.
- 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:17,213 It's true. I am composed of a trillion microscopic, self-replicating robots,
- 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,631 but I know-
- 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,634 that all humans require--
- 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,094 require--
- 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,972 a stop sign at the corner of Oak and Main.
- 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,433 People speed through there like they're street racing.
- 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,310 It's got to stop, and I can make it happen.
- 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,895 - No. What? - No, no, no, no, no.
- 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,772 I-I-I don't think so, stop the clock.
- 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,107 We already had the debate. Everyone has to vote right now.
- 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,984 Where did you get that suit? Take it off.
- 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,906 - Uh, it's my suit. - Gordon, what the hell?
- 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:47,368 I too thought at first that this Nanobot Man was some kind of frightening
- 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,954 <i>X-Files</i> type, you know, monster creature.
- 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,831 But then, he took me to a nice steak dinner.
- 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:52,957 That's all it takes?
- 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:57,127 Folks, last thing I want to do is drag this boring HOA election out any longer,
- 00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,005 but I think if you listen for a moment, I could--
- 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,966 whoa, flip your vote.
- 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,843 I-I command you to leave this place!
- 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,177 Let's hear him out!
- 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:14,854 Hey, guys, we got pudding over here! Anybody want chocolate-vanilla swirl?
- 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:21,277 Man, these guys are real wound up. This might take more than a pudding cup.
- 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,653 I know, we should probably just go, right?
- 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,655 You're gonna have to sing them your friendship song!
- 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,407 I don't know if that's a good idea--
- 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,451 What the fuck?
- 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:33,205 Hey, guys, if you think that's punk rock, wait till you hear my sister's song.
- 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:40,045 <i>♪ Interracial love friendship--♪</i>
- 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,046 Ah!
- 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,091 - Ah! - Ohh! Ah!
- 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,971 Look, I do think humans are generally nice, but to prove that point to you today
- 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,348 I installed microchips in all of your enemies' heads
- 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,809 that made them nice when I clicked this button.
- 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,644 But I didn't know about these neo-Nazis,
- 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,897 so it's not gonna work and I think we're gonna die.
- 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,732 Ah, I told you some people are bad!
- 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,109 You're right! Some people are really, really bad!
- 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,652 This is just like the movie <i>Green Room!</i>
- 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,365 Darnell, your lawnmower broke,
- 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,326 and they don't make the gear anymore, am I right?
- 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,705 - There you go, 3 - D printed on the spot.
- 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,584 And little Elizabeth, born blind. Let's see what we can do about that.
- 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,128 There you go.
- 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,756 I can see all the smells and sounds! It's amazing!
- 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,178 a vote for Nanobot Man is a vote for happiness.
- 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,722 The only reason he knows what you want is because he's been inside your pee.
- 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,309 That's right, Nanobot Man has been spying on you this whole time.
- 00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,811 Do you really want to elect a man who's been inside your balls
- 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,229 or, or the other stuff?
- 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,565 It's true, I can see it! I can see everything!
- 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,192 Hah!
- 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,737 It's true, I have been in all your pee.
- 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,531 I didn't want to bring this up, but they've forced my hand.
- 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,952 Korvo is my dad, and he built my nanobot bodies.
- 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,412 And he and Terry put me in the water
- 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:58,415 so they could read your minds and give you presents.
- 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,000 You can't elect these two liars.
- 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,503 You're not their customer, you are their product.
- 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,713 We harvest the data for the good of the community!
- 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,548 How else would we know that Dave needs a new shed
- 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:07,549 for all his sex dolls?
- 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,009 We can give him that shed!
- 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,887 That's not true! I have sex with living, human beings!
- 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,931 I love the feeling of being pressed up against--
- 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,475 a warm bag of bones and blood that can give consent.
- 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,352 I know you better than these guys.
- 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:20,938 I know that Becky buried her Guatemalan housekeeper in the back yard.
- 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,732 How 'bout that? That's a big secret right there.
- 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,484 I'm sorry, what? You killed Lupe!
- 00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,820 Uh, uh, Jeremy's poisoning his wife for insurance.
- 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,739 Uh, Lesley Donovan teaches class while wearing a hidden vibrator.
- 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,783 Samantha is cheating on Michael with Joey!
- 00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,284 What the fuck?
- 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,495 Phyllis spent all her kid's cancer medicine money on a purse.
- 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,539 Bobby snuck shit in a pie at the pie place.
- 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,249 Everyone should be mad about that.
- 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,584 - Gary has a cactus fetish. - Robert keyed Leslie's car.
- 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,545 This is all your fault. You're making everyone fight!
- 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:45,504 Fuck you, Terry!
- 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,547 Ow!
- 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,841 - Give me the shrink ray back! - It's in my dollhouse!
- 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,510 What? You know what's going to happen right now because you did that?
- 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:52,511 Yeah.
- 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,596 Now I have to take these guys out with lethal force!
- 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,598 I'm going to stick my knife up your--Ahh!
- 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,067 - I don't like doing this! - I said I was sorry!
- 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:11,363 It's the suit, not me, it's the suit. The suit's on auto pilot.
- 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,950 It just does this, sorry.
- 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,078 Maybe, uh, I don't know, maybe be tolerant next time.
- 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:21,790 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that eye.
- 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,377 Ugh!
- 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,670 - Damn you, nanobots! - Me?
- 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,506 - This is all your fault! Nobody likes you! - Take that back!
- 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,196 Ah!
- 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,707 Ah! Ahhh!
- 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:07,586 Okay, stop! Everyone stop. Everyone just shut the fuck up.
- 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,255 Look at yourselves. T-this is fucked.
- 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:14,593 I've been living here for 30 years and we never had any sci-fi bullshit.
- 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,595 You want things normal and regular.
- 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:20,557 Don't vote for these stupid ugly ALF-lookin' motherfuckers.
- 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,602 - I've had enough. Fuck these guys. - You tell 'em, Ruth!
- 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:27,106 You're goddamn right I'll tell 'em. It's fucking bullshit.
- 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,485 I just want to fucking live in peace. Vote for me, that's all I got to say.
- 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,112 Ruth! Ruth! Ruth! Ruth!
- 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,822 But I can make free electricity
- 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,824 by harnessing the temperature change in the air!
- 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,035 It solves global warming! Come on!
- 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,080 A-and I have big ideas for a video game library that we can all use!
- 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,624 Shut up and go back to your home in the Abyss!
- 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:49,211 Not all aliens are from the Abyss! I don't even know you, who are you?
- 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:53,048 - I'm Tyler, and I think you suck. - I knew it! I knew that was Tyler!
- 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,301 - Fuck you! I've always hated you! - Why would we even be from the Abyss?
- 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,679 We have a spaceship sticking out of the top of our house.
- 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,473 I guess sometimes when you gain sentience
- 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,810 and you're full of data about a neighborhood, you can overreach.
- 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,436 I was just trying to help,
- 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,689 and I ended up hurting the people I love the most.
- 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:11,733 I'm sorry, guys. Truly. I hope you still like me after all this.
- 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,944 Yes, I still like you, Mr. Nanobots.
- 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,904 But you know what? I'm starting to think
- 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,990 I have to stop worrying about who likes me.
- 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,450 I guess some humans are unevolved bigots
- 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,119 who don't know a good thing when they see one.
- 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,288 Us sci-fi folks need to stick together.
- 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:26,790 To be honest, I'm proud that I made such good nanobots
- 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,208 that they tried to take over the neighborhood.
- 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,711 back in the bag. We've got work to do on the ship.
- 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,797 But I want to live in a house and fall in love and build a recipe folder.
- 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,800 Well, tough. I need to spray you on a navigation panel.
- 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,677 You know you have to listen to me, right?
- 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,928 Get back here!
- 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,890 - You can't just be free! Damn it! - Man, they grow up so fast.
- 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,558 Well, since we lost the election
- 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,894 and everyone's all crazy high-concept racist now,
- 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,313 I guess that means we better paint the ship to match the roof, huh?
- 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,607 I'll be painting it even more silver than before.
- 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:55,110 I'm going to light it up at night so Ruth can see it from a mile away.
- 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,905 - But the rules-- - It's a $50 fine. I'll eat it.
- 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,698 Yeah, but then people won't like us--
- 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,659 - Did you give him candy again? - No!
- 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:03,994 Damn it, Terry! He's getting it from somewhere
- 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,330 and if he's not getting it from me, he has to be getting it from you!
- 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,998 I don't know, man. I-I would remember if I did, but--
- 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,082 What do you mean you would remember?
- 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,626 If he's not getting it from you, where is he getting it?
- 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:11,627 - I don't know okay! - Where?
- 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,670 - Stop yelling at me! - I'll yell at you as much as I want.
- 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,631 I shouldn't have lied to you.
- 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,842 Humans are complicated, but I didn't think they were so complicated
- 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,302 that they would try to kill us.
- 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,304 After today, I can tellit's important to you
- 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,805 that I be careful who I put in the wall.
- 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,517 So from now on, I'll make sure that everyone in the wall deserves to be--
- 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,186 Ooh, a guy in a red shirt!
- 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,980 - Wait, but-- - Look, I had people in shirts
- 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,273 of all the other colors.
- 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:37,152 I promise we'll use due process on the next one. Don't yell at me.
- 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,946 Eh, he was probably a Nazi.
- 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,449 I like humans, but I hate shoes.
- 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,868 Like, how are we supposed to taste the ground?
- 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,828 I don't know, they don't flavor their ground either.
- 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,580 Pff! Weird, right?
- 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,665 Oh!
- 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,875 Hey, hey. What's going on here? Where are we?
- 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,043 W-what is this? What is this?
- 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,253 What the hell is happening?
- 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,427 Oh my god. What is this place?
- 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:08,016 - Wait, why--w--where are you going? - Anywhere but here!
- 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,536 - D-don't hurt me, don't hurt me. - Empty your pockets.
- 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,372 - Ugh! - Hey wait, wait, wait, hey.
- 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,623 I don't belong here!
- 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,293 Two little aliens just shrank me down for no reason.
- 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,461 I'm just a regular guy. I didn't do anything to anybody.
- 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,881 More Taffy bandits will be arriving soon, and the gum boys move south at night.
- 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,883 We don't want to be anywhere near here when they meet.
- 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,011 Why are they called gum boys?
- 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,512 They love gum.
- 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,564 Did they make a <i>True Lies 2?</i>
- 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,859 The Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. Is there a sequel to that?
- 00:00:59,871 --> 00:01:11,675 ДЕГУСТАТОР СЛИВОЧНОГО ПИВА
- 00:01:27,983 --> 00:01:45,667 ПРОДАНО
- 00:02:14,946 --> 00:02:17,491 УСТРОЙСТВА ДЛЯ КОНТРОЛЯ НАД МОЗГОМ
- 00:02:17,491 --> 00:02:18,533 {\an8}СУВЕНИРЫ ВОДООТЧИСТНЫЕ СООРУЖЕНИЯ (И МУЗЕЙ МОЧИ)
- 00:02:32,464 --> 00:02:36,426 МУЗЕЙ МОЧИ
- 00:02:44,577 --> 00:02:48,373 ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР ДОСУГА СЕГОДНЯ: ВЫБОРЫ ТСЖ, ЗАВТРА: ПОКАЗ МОД
- 00:06:11,391 --> 00:06:12,267 ТОРГОВЫЙ ЦЕНТР ГРЕТХЕН-ДАРТ
- 00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,791 ХАЙЛЬ БУХЛЕР
- 00:11:13,609 --> 00:11:14,401 ПОДГОТОВКА ОБНОВЛЕНИЯ
- 00:11:14,401 --> 00:11:15,444 ЗАГРУЗКА - ЗАВЕРШЕНИЕ
- 00:11:15,444 --> 00:11:16,695 {\an8}СУВЕНИРЫ ВОДООТЧИСТНЫЕ СООРУЖЕНИЯ (И МУЗЕЙ МОЧИ)
- 00:11:26,455 --> 00:11:28,916 {\an8}ЛУЧШИЙ КИКЕР ГОДА
- 00:12:24,179 --> 00:12:27,933 ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР ДОСУГА СЕГОДНЯ: ВЫБОРЫ ТСЖ, ЗАВТРА: ПОКАЗ МОД
- 00:17:38,243 --> 00:17:39,953 ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР ДОСУГА СЕГОДНЯ: ВЫБОРЫ ТСЖ, ЗАВТРА: ПОКАЗ МОД
- 00:20:12,981 --> 00:20:14,315 БУРГЕРЫ У ЛОЛО
- 00:21:02,864 --> 00:21:03,823 ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В ПУСТОШИ
- 00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:24,511 ПРОСТИ МЕНЯ, ГОСПОДИ
- 00:02:15,523 --> 00:02:17,523 Устройства для контроля над мозгом
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