Квантовое кольцо

00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,842

♪

00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:11,761

God dammit.

They're not coming. Again.

00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:15,140

Computer, turn off

the mariachi simulación.

00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:19,019

I should hope that you're all going out

to get more Miller L-l-l-lights

00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,562

for Tuesday Taco Night Thing.

00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:23,148

Oh wait, that was tonight?

Aw, I could've sworn that was on Monday.

00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:26,151

It's always on Tuesdays,

and you've missed the last tres.

00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,111

We know you're just trying to trick us

into hanging out with you.

00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,613

No! I'm trying to trick you

into learning about ship repair.

00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:34,868

How many times do we have to ghost on you

before you stop with the taco thing?

00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,536

- Oh, you're coming.

- Nuh-uh.

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Oh, you're gonna come so hard

you're gonna beg me to stop.

00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,080

Yeah, you wish.

00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,874

We're going to Conner Miller's

birthday party.

00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,376

His mom is rich,

and his dad's trying to be a novelist,

00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,669

so I bet they get in a big fight.

00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:45,879

There's gonna be a magician.

00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:49,299

It'll be my first autograph in my awesome

Magician Autograph Journal!

00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,300

Magic is stupid.

00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,969

Maybe I'll tag along just so I can explain

how he's doing his tricks.

00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,096

Please don't come.

You know, I don't think you'd like it.

00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,765

It has nothing to do

with chores or yelling.

00:00:56,848 --> 00:01:00,060

Um, Korvo, you don't really do well

in a social setting.

00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,394

It's kinda like your thing.

00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,354

Hm, your reverse psychology

has worked, Terry.

00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,107

Nothing will stop me from joining you

at this child's birthday party.

00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,151

- Ahh!

- Yay, Korvo!

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♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,201

What a waste of paper.

00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,953

The only good ceremony

involving children is the Jewish one

00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,205

where they cut off the penis.

00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,998

Am I right?

[children laughing]

00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,374

Slow down!

00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:31,341

- Just a slow-down ray. No big deal.

- Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic.

00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,134

[scoffs]

On the nose much?

00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,470

- Magic! Magic!

-[children gasp]

00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,430

Rabbit was hidden under the table. Dumb.

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Fake thumb.

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Foam ball in the armpit.

00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,105

Mouth full of flags.

This is so stupid, anyone could do this.

00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,106

I could do this.

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[cheering]

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I could do this.

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KORVO:

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

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Until the asteroid hit.

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One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

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and escaped into, uh, the space,

00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,249

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:07,252

We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,003

That's right,

I've been talking this whole time.

00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,047

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,299

This is-- this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,634

[stammers]

This is ridiculous.

00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,388

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

People are stupid.

00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,848

They're always talking

about how they love their family,

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but they're never making

their family gigantic.

00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,017

They're all normal sized.

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If you like something, you should be

trying to make it gigantic.

00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:29,023

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

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All right, be sure to share.

00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:38,324

Make sure the lower levels get Reese's

and don't hog the Skittles.

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Yumyulack, I'm heading out.

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I like to get to school early

00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,163

so I can watch the teachers

drink in the parking lot.

00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,291

Oh hold on. I just want to put my latest

victim, I mean specimen, in there too.

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Wait, I know her.

00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,336

Is that the lady who puts

her dog's poop in the mailbox?

00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,007

Ugh, I wish. It's just the waitress from

the Benihana over by the strip club.

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Why is she going in the wall?

I thought she was a nice one.

00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,468

I said I didn't want shrimp!

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If I was allergic, I could have died!

Is that what you want?

00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:03,558

Of course not. I wish everything

lived forever. You know that.

00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,893

[Cherie yells]

00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,103

-[rumbling]

-[Cherie grunts]

00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,064

Oh my god.

Where the fuck am I?

00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,275

Welcome, citizen.

00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,986

- Hey, hey, get away from me--

- Ahh!

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Whatever you got

in your pockets is ours!

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Wallet, gum, key metal--

00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,783

She's got Tums! Ow!

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We could do this the easy way

or the toothpick way.

00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,081

- Your choice.

- This isn't over.

00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,001

Everyone runs out

of fancy toothpicks at some point.

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Come with me if you want to live.

00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,507

- That's from Predator.

- It's from the Terminator.

00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,801

Oh, crap, really? '

Cause I've been saying that for weeks.

00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,970

- Are you sure?

- I've seen that movie a hundred times.

00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,223

We should go. Ugh, I'm such an idiot.

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COMPUTER: What's up, Korvo?

Do you want to resume, um,

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correcting any inaccuracies

in the cross-galactic navigation matrix?

00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,980

No, I don't have time to relax.

00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,316

Today we need to find out

how I can be a magician.

00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,651

Isn't magic... lame?

00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,071

If magic is lame, then why do you have

a quarter in your hologram?

00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,823

What? Get the fuck out of here. Wow.

00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:04,285

Exactly. Okay, I need to be the

best magician I can as fast as possible.

00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,496

Is this some sort of emotional arc?

00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:10,041

A magician never reveals his motivations.

Let's get started.

00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,501

-Calculating wonder.

-[bell dings]

00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,545

Done. I'll teach in the form

of Earth's greatest illusionists.

00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:19,926

Houdini, Copperfield, and Mystery,

the pickup artist from The Game.

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:23,596

I can escape anything and neg anyone.

You're not as hot as your friend.

00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,056

Which part is Copperfield?

00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,308

COMPUTER: The other

two personalities ate him.

00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,269

Can I please just get

a regular tutorial?

00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,062

-Fine. Processing.

-[bell dings]

00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,982

It seems like you should combine simple

tricks with what you're already great at.

00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,233

- Cooking salmon?

-Ugh.

00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,403

Computer, lower impatience expression

by 25 percent.

00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,822

You should incorporate

advanced technology into your act.

00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,782

Combine alien technology

with sleight of hand,

00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,659

a show like that

would blow people's minds!

00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:47,036

Especially if we served salmon

at intermission.

00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,079

[grunts]

00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,498

The Duke says you're late

on our Skittle tax.

00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,792

All I could find was a Junior Mint.

00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,253

- Keep walking, don't get involved.

- What the hell is this place?

00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,381

This whole world is a prison

created by alien kids.

00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,050

It's made up of a system

of connected terrariums.

00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,719

Those guys are enforcers.

00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,972

They're part of a martial police

formed by the ruler of the wall.

00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,850

- I'm guessing that's The Duke?

- It's pretty complicated.

00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,977

Is he like The Duke of New York

from Escape from New York?

00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,729

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah,

it's exactly like that.

00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,315

Oh, I forgot about that movie.

Yeah. It's exactly the same.

00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,151

Jesse, the girl alien,

gives us candy and little gifts.

00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,111

And then The Duke hoards

and distributes that,

00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,113

and that's just, you know,

that's how he keeps control.

00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,866

- Yeah, you got it.

- Why is this rope so minty?

00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,995

Because it's floss. We use what we have!

My pants are from a Polly Pocket.

00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,956

Go ahead, pick a card.

00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,877

I will now turn these cards

into 56 different extinct animals.

00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,338

[screeching, growling]

00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,631

I believe this... is your card.

00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,383

[gasps and cheers]

00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:46,012

Korvo, that was amazing!

When did you become a magician?

00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,598

I've been secretly learning

so you guys would love me!

00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,557

Well, it worked!

00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,976

We should go out for pizza

and talk about how great you are.

00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,519

- Hm, no.

-[all gasp]

00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,521

You know, I thought I learned magic

to get your attention,

00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,023

but that's just not enough anymore.

00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,067

You're all too provincial

and lame for me now.

00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,402

You're intoxicated with fame

off one performance?

00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,320

Yes.

00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,781

But we're not like even, like,

a little provincial.

00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,324

Where's he getting this bullshit?

00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,867

Now that I'm better than you,

I'm going to become

00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,535

the greatest magician of all time,

00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,913

and you will collectively be portrayed

as the first wife

00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,664

who didn't believe in me in my biopic.

00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,083

I always stop the movie at that point,

00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,542

so I assume it goes great

for the protagonist

00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,378

after he cuts ties

with his friends and family.

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,505

Enjoy being left behind!

00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,800

This is just like the time

when I married Ansel Elgort.

00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,718

The little scamp.

He's lucky he got away.

00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,888

I loved him so much.

Ugh, why can't I call him?

00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:32,058

COMPUTER: I got you a meeting

with the biggest magician talent scout

00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,184

in the world.

00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:36,729

Ha! She lives in a one-bedroom apartment

above the Wendy's by the train tracks.

00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,816

I'm not ready, I-I don't have

a wand o-or an assistant--

00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,275

[women screaming]

00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,902

I really only needed one of each.

00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,363

How about your next trick

is not complaining for once?

00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,490

Fuck you, computer.

Words can hurt.

00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,784

[grunts]

00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,285

This is the marketplace.

00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,371

If there's something you need,

you can barter for it here.

00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,414

What do people trade with?

00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,166

Well, mostly whatever they had

in their pockets when they got shrunk.

00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,669

If you had cargo shorts on,

you're basically rich.

00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,381

Suburban dads and lesbian dog walkers

live like kings in here.

00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,007

You know, your hair is pretty valuable.

00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,385

We could probably trade

those bangs in for some Mikes,

00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,679

maybe even an Ike if they're in season.

00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,390

[chomps, moans]

00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,516

TIM:

Enrique? Don't eat that.

00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,685

- You know it gives you the sugar shakes.

- Sugar shakes?

00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,937

Yeah, we don't know

the word for diabetes.

00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,147

It's diabetes.

00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,149

Oh yeah. S--I'm sorry.

I'm losing my mind.

00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,817

I haven't had a vegetable in months.

00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,527

Dad, come on, just a sip.

00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,571

Did you find any insulin?

Down at the drop zone?

00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,240

Sorry, man. Everyone who came in

only had breath mints and Chapsticks.

00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,325

Damn. We've got Chapsticks for days!

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,161

Look, we're gonna make it work.

I promise.

00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,413

- Your dad is gonna be okay.

-[groans]

00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,623

If this man is diabetic,

why does he keep eating chocolate?

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,500

Well, the only food

they give us is candy.

00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,171

Sometimes they'll drop in an apple

or a cocktail onion, but it's very rare.

00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,548

We have to figure out how to barter

for insulin from The Duke.

00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,008

- He can get anything in here.

-[chomps]

00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,926

Man, he is really going to town.

00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,888

-[groans]

- Dad, stop! You're not even hungry!

00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:56,142

If you thought I was any old magician,

I hate to burst your balloon.

00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,730

[coughs, clears throat]

00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:01,856

End of trick.

00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,652

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,114

♪

00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,701

♪

00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,704

The real magic was in you the whole time.

Now, now clap.

00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,458

- Pass.

- What? W-why?

00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,044

You're less "abra cadabra"

and more "average cadaver."

00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,795

You got no personality, kid.

00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:28,049

I-I-I could try to build a device

that steals other people's charisma

00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,134

and then inject it into my body

like chemotherapy.

00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:34,180

You're a sad blue creep with no hair.

It's not gonna happen.

00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,307

You're a sad blue creep!

[Korvo crying]

00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,852

- What are you, crying?

- I-I'm not crying, you're crying!

00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:45,900

♪ angelic music playing ♪

00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,444

CHERIE:

Well, this is creepy.

00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,905

Yeah, this level is run

by the Bowinian church.

00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,074

It's the religion that worships Jesse,

00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,284

the girl alien who gives us

food and medicine.

00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,327

She's the one with the bow--

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,163

yeah, oh, hey now, that's why

they call it the "Bowinian Church."

00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,749

- Okay, I just got that.

- There's already a whole religion?

00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:03,584

How long have you people been in here?

00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,295

Time moves differently in the wall.

It changes a man.

00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,757

- Wait, the aliens can control time?

- No, no. It's more like a metaphor.

00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,885

Just, look, we eat a lot of candy,

and that makes everything weird.

00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,263

Plus, there's no calendar or clocks.

00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,557

Think of it like Vegas.

Okay, could you just go with it?

00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,141

Okay, geez. It tracks.

00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,811

I'm afraid we have nothing to spare.

00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:25,565

Our insulin is derived from the mold

we grow on old Twizzlers.

00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,149

We only have enough for the flock.

00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,150

That's bullshit!

00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,945

You're afraid The Duke will be pissed

if he thinks you're competing with him!

00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,238

We should just take it.

00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,574

I'll pray for your father.

00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,825

I knew they wouldn't help us.

00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,785

- Religion's such bullshit.

- Wait!

00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,995

- Take this.

- What is it?

00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,249

It's a Slim Jim. It's barely two snaps

long, but it's gotta be worth something.

00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,167

Use it to trade for what you seek.

00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,212

Oh, I-I shouldn't be here.

May the bow be with you.

00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,882

Protein is like gold in here.

But is this enough for The Duke?

00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,385

No, but I know

what we can trade it for.

00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,515

Tricks aren't enough,

I have to be likable? That's impossible!

00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,350

I wish I'd never learned magic!

00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,435

[squeaks]

00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:05,438

- Ta-dah!

- Yo! Check it out: trash magic!

00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,648

And the bouquet that turns into doves!

00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,525

That then turn into pterodactyls!

00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,446

Ta-dah!

00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:18,034

I-I usually only post breastfeeding

reaction videos, but this is sick.

00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,535

Ta-dah!

00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,663

Ta-dah!

Ta-dah!

00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,206

[laughing]

Ta-dah!

00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,250

Ta-dah!

Ta-dah!

00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,085

Ta-dah! Ta-dah!

00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,420

Ta-dah!

00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,838

[ta-dah continues]

00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,301

[audience cheering]

00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,094

Okay, this is so amazing,

I can't believe it.

00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,930

Our next guest is,

he's so great, he's so great,

00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,851

please welcome

"The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man!"

00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,853

[audience applauding]

00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,939

I wanted to be on Kimmel.

00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,694

♪

00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,155

♪

00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,659

ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow night,

the Vegas Vegas Casino is proud

00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:04,205

to present The Incredible

Burn Victim Trash Man!

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:08,334

Featuring the most dangerous trick

anyone has ever attempted:

00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,420

leaping through a black hole!

00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:17,259

How will he survive the gravimetric forces

as they rip his atomic structure asunder?

00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:21,222

We're going to Vegas tomorrow

to see Korvo do tricks!

00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:24,684

I'll finally see the city of sin!

Yay, sin!

00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,811

I'm gonna bet it all at Circus Circus!

00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,312

And I'm gonna rescue a sex worker!

00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,106

Aw, she's never gonna have sex again.

00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,941

- Or he!

-[doorbell rings]

00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:32,858

Greetings.

00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:36,278

I am world renowned magician

Wilkins Micawber.

00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,406

I'm as famous as a magician can get,

00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:42,493

think the third Hemsworth brother,

as are my mysterious compatriots.

00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,955

We are here to parlay with

The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man.

00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,082

- Where hence ye?

- He's practicing his act upstairs.

00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:49,834

Nobody's supposed to interrupt him.

00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,586

I thought I smelled the stench

of lesser magicians.

00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,756

Listen, listen, listen.

You can't do this black hole trick.

00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,552

- It's too amazing!

- If you survive, our careers die.

00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,220

I do what I want, leave me alone!

00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,266

[gasps]

I didn't get their autographs!

00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,102

The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man

left us no choice.

00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,896

Now I know murder is frowned upon

by magic law,

00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,483

but I love weed and prostitutes.

So I need that money.

00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,529

We'll make sure this is

his grand finale. Of life.

00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,865

[evil laughter]

00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,703

Oh, now I'll never get their autographs.

And they're gonna kill Korvo!

00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,955

Pretty convenient I came out here.

00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,500

What is your deal today, Pupa?

00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,715

Eh, you don't toss around a Slim Jim

like this unless you mean business.

00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,550

We need your Playboy.

We know you have it.

00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,679

Have you lost your mind?

It's the Girls of the Pac 10.

00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,849

That would cost at least,

uh, 20 snaps per Pac.

00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,642

-[Enrique moans]

- Come on, man!

00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,895

Hey, I'm sorry,

but I can't make the trade.

00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:54,356

It's one of the only pieces

of reading material that made it in here.

00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,858

Plus titties, you know.

00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,527

Sorry, dude, but I need that Playboy!

00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,987

- Pedro! What the hell?

- I got it.

00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,030

-[vendor moans]

- Go!

00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,157

Help! I'm being robbed!

00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,534

[shouting]

00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,288

Ahh!

00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,749

Ahh!

00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,796

Benihana, bitch.

00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,343

TED JOHNSON: Mr. Korvo,

could you explain exactly

00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,385

what we're looking at here?

00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,889

It's a Quantum Ring, a black hole I

built out of pieces from my space cruiser.

00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,974

You kind of have to know a lot

about physics to understand--

00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,018

- Looks like a Stargate.

- What's a Stargate?

00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,229

TED: It's what this is,

and the fourth best Kurt Russell movie.

00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,398

Then today I will be Kurt Russell,

by diving through the black hole.

00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,401

If I hit it at just the right angle,

I should pass through unharmed.

00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,905

If I'm even a millimeter off,

I die and maybe time implodes,

00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:43,948

I'm not sure about that last part.

00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:48,035

So either it's a great show

or I no longer have to pay my alimony.

00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,079

I hate that woman.

00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,541

This is Ted Johnson,

reporting from backstage at a magic show.

00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,084

Yeah, definitely a Stargate.

00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,544

Oh, oh, oh--

00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,880

Korvo, you're in trouble!

A-and we came to warn you!

00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,298

But you stopped to get t-shirts.

00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,384

It was in case

we got separated in the crowd!

00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,345

Magicians are gonna kill you

before you do your big trick!

00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,305

Oh, hm, I see what this is.

00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,516

You got jealous and now you want

to be part of my show.

00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,726

You all had your chance

to show me you appreciated me

00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,770

by coming to my Tuesday Night Taco Thing,

00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,939

but instead I had to throw

all the tacos away.

00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,400

- Remember that? From earlier?

- No, that was like a million years ago.

00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,776

You can't still be mad at that.

00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,654

Security, I don't know these people.

Get them out of here!

00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,406

They're gonna do a murder on you!

00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,199

I don't need you! This is my arc!

00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,702

-[groans]

- Wow, what did you do?

00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,037

I don't know, I kicked him

in that thing people have.

00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,039

We gotta split up

and find those magic murderers.

00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,000

[audience applauding]

00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,835

KORVO:

And where did all those cards go?

00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:42,214

I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised

during your first bowel movement tomorrow.

00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:44,383

ALL: Oh.

[cheering]

00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:47,386

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

my final trick of the night!

00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:52,808

I will be the first magician in history

to jump through a black hole!

00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,059

[panting]

00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,145

[gasps]

There they are!

00:14:56,270 --> 00:15:00,608

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,944

[panting]

00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:08,657

Uhh--

00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:13,245

Oh my god, wow, Yumyulack,

you just cut those guys' throats.

00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,457

You just ended two human lives.

That’s crazy.

00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,043

But you were doing it to save

Korvo's life, man. So it's okay.

00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,586

Yeah, it's okay. We're good, we're good.

00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:24,006

♪

00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:29,345

[screaming]

00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,681

-[woman screams]

- Oh god, he's dead! My Korvy!

00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:38,687

No!

00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,483

No!

00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,577

Welcome to my humble abode.

00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,663

I'm The Duke. The ruler of shadows.

00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,415

The main vein. The big boy.

The top puppy.

00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,627

My guards tell me you're interested

in a swap of some kind?

00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,547

[whistles]

Girls of the Pac 10!

00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,093

- What can I trade you for?

- We need insulin. My dad is dying.

00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,595

I'd be crazy not to take that deal.

00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,764

Hey, get some sugar shots

for my friends here!

00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,557

Thank you so much!

00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,852

Oh, I heard about the riot

you caused on level two.

00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:23,148

You know, it spread to three levels?

I lost an enforcer trying to shut it down.

00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,025

A lot of lives lost for that stunt.

00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,361

It's not easy keeping the peace

in a place like this.

00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,697

Even if we weren't the prisoners

of two alien children,

00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:32,992

it would be hard being this close

to each other all the time.

00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,787

- It's a daily struggle.

- Please. sir. I beg you to be generous.

00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:40,749

- My dad is dying.

- Oh kid, I'm not a monster.

00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,378

Of course your dad can have his insulin.

Our job is to survive.

00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,009

- You didn't have to do that!

- Get them out of here.

00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,302

It's starting to smell like low wall.

00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:58,058

Oh, an interview with Mark Cuban! Score!

00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,143

[eagle screeches]

00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:03,522

Today, we give Korvo back

to the great all tree,

00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:06,150

in the traditional way

as he would have wanted:

00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,403

ripped apart by noble birds.

00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,073

♪ mystical flute playing ♪

00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,408

What can I say about Korvo?

00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,703

Korvo was easily

the least popular person in the house

00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:21,582

and he smelled like whole milk,

but we're still gonna miss him.

00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,293

I'm sorry, I-I didn't want

to do it right here.

00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,462

I wanted to do it later. In a bathroom.

00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:29,089

Korvo was mean,

and being mean is tight.

00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,467

That was beautiful.

00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,470

[cawing]

00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,598

- You only got one bird?

- Yeah, they're hard to catch. Geez.

00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:43,062

♪ Playing Time Of Your Life ♪

00:17:43,687 --> 00:17:46,565

TERRY: Man, I just wish we had gone

to one of these stupid parties

00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,858

when Korvo was alive, you know.

00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,943

We could've told him

how boring this was to his face.

00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,112

Yeah, even though it was clear

that he just wanted to trick us

00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,031

into listening to boring

ship repair stuff,

00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,657

it would have been nice

to have him around.

00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,285

That's why, in his honor,

I have brought down his manuals,

00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,496

and we are gonna read about the work

he did on the ship

00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,997

and start doing it ourselves.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,374

- For Korvo.

- I guess we have to do that now.

00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,793

- Ta-daaaa!

-[all gasp]

00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,045

[grunts]

You have to stop kicking there.

00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,214

You're alive! Oh, Korvo,

y-you're alive! You're--

00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:14,510

Alive like a fox! And you all fell for it!

I Now You See Me'd you!!

00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,804

Now You See Me? The movie?

With Jesse Eisenberg? Ugh.

00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,138

It taught me two important things.

00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:21,183

One: the best part of any magic trick

is spending a ton of time and money

00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,392

setting up an elaborate lie.

00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,353

- And the other: family.

- Family?

00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,855

KORVO: It all happened

when I ditched you guys for Vegas...

00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,190

WOODY HARRELSON (on TV):

Yeah, you know, we were just

00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,984

four lonely magicians.

And then presto.

00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,694

Now we're abraca-family.

00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,489

KORVO: I realized I'd gone too far

and I needed you guys.

00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:38,367

We're not just a space team,

we're also a family team.

00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,161

Which is why I had to hire

those magicians to pretend to kill me!

00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,579

They're all out-of-work actors.

00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,873

JESSE: Don't say that!

I love those magicians!

00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,334

KORVO: That's because in the middle

of the night, I planted false memories

00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,627

of them in all of your heads!

00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,212

Terry, we killed two of those guys.

00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,672

I-I'm sure that was just

part of the trick.

00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,423

But wait, how did you fake your death?

00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,259

After I was finished

with Now You See Me 2,

00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,678

I read the novelization of The Prestige.

00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,430

The Korvo you saw die was a clone.

A really good one too.

00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,268

He thought he was me, and I made sure

he could feel pain and-and all that stuff.

00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,229

And it worked! You all totally thought

I was dead and came to my party!

00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,814

Good trick, right?

00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,860

- Oh yeah.

- Amazing.

00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:17,406

Korvo, that was the best trick ever!

Was anyone else doing a trick?

00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:24,621

The Pupa was a cardboard cutout all day?

Who even are you?

00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,290

- Ta-da!

- Bravo, Pupa! Amazing!

00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:28,667

Best day of tricks ever!

00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,003

ALL:

00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,005

Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!

00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:36,383

- Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!

- All right, enough!

00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:39,219

Now, there are 78 parts

of the lavatic reactor.

00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,514

The first is the Pahoehoe funnel.

It has 72 shunts.

00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:46,268

Each shunt must be gently jostled

before you can proceed--

00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,769

Well, this sucks.

00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,856

Enrique, I'm so sorry,

I don't know how this happened.

00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:54,568

You saved me, Tim. But I don't know

how I'll go on without my boy.

00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:58,405

I-I-I just don't know.

Do you go to heaven if you die small?

00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,949

[crying]

He died small!

00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,287

It doesn't have to be this way.

00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,414

Pedro didn't have to die.

00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:12,544

- I have to fix this place.

- How can one person change the world?

00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,798

By tearing it down.

00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:17,799

YUMYULACK: Come on!

Come on, hippo.

00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:18,967

- Eat, eat!

- JESSE: Come on, eat it, hippo

00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,010

Fuck you, Jesse.

00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,929

- I love this game.

- Hippos!

00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,933

♪

00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,766

[imitating laser fire]

00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:11,806

Черт. Они не придут. Опять.

00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:14,137

Компьютер, выключить симуляцию мариачи.

00:00:15,773 --> 00:00:19,065

Надеюсь, вы все идёте за пивом. Лёгкое

00:00:19,066 --> 00:00:20,604

для вторничного вечера с тако.

00:00:20,608 --> 00:00:23,135

Он был сегодня?

Я был уверен, что в понедельник.

00:00:23,161 --> 00:00:26,154

Он по вторникам.

И вы пропустили уже трижды.

00:00:26,155 --> 00:00:28,077

Ты хочешь заставить нас

провести с тобой время.

00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:30,658

Нет, я хочу научить вас чинить корабль.

00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:32,575

Сколько раз нам еще не приходить,

00:00:32,601 --> 00:00:34,818

чтобы ты перестал устраивать вечеринки?

00:00:34,844 --> 00:00:35,995

— Вы придёте.

— Нет.

00:00:36,022 --> 00:00:38,178

Вы еще будете умолять меня остановиться.

00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:38,929

Да уж.

00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,708

Мы на день рождения Коннера Миллера.

00:00:40,735 --> 00:00:43,422

Его мать богата, а отец

хочет писать романы.

00:00:43,423 --> 00:00:44,587

Точно будет скандал.

00:00:44,613 --> 00:00:45,810

Там будет фокусник.

00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:49,265

Я возьму первый автограф в моей

книге автографов фокусников.

00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,429

Магия — чушь.

00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:53,018

Я пойду с вами и объясню,

как он делает фокусы.

00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,174

Нет, не ходи. Тебе не понравится.

00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,780

Там нет работы и не надо орать.

00:00:56,806 --> 00:01:00,107

Корво, ты плохо

адаптируешься в обществе.

00:01:00,108 --> 00:01:01,222

Это не совсем твоё.

00:01:01,248 --> 00:01:03,355

Твоя реверсивная психология сработала.

00:01:03,359 --> 00:01:06,347

Теперь я не пропущу этот день рождения.

00:01:06,373 --> 00:01:08,182

Да, Корво!

00:01:13,915 --> 00:01:15,094

С ДНЕМ АБРАКАДАБРОЖДЕНИЯ, КОННЕР!

00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,499

Пустая трата бумаги.

00:01:16,501 --> 00:01:18,998

Единственная хорошая

церемония для детей —

00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,250

еврейское обрезание.

00:01:20,276 --> 00:01:21,170

Я прав?

00:01:22,045 --> 00:01:23,445

Помедленнее!

00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:26,798

Замедляющий луч, ерунда.

00:01:26,824 --> 00:01:31,485

Магия! Магия! Магия! Магия! Магия!

00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:33,283

Это еще что?

00:01:33,309 --> 00:01:35,515

Магия! Магия!

00:01:35,516 --> 00:01:37,477

Кролика прятали под столом. Глупо.

00:01:38,387 --> 00:01:39,224

Фальшивый палец.

00:01:40,027 --> 00:01:41,533

Поролон подмышкой.

00:01:41,898 --> 00:01:43,106

Флажки во рту.

00:01:43,107 --> 00:01:45,148

Это так глупо. Такое каждый может.

00:01:45,151 --> 00:01:46,151

Я так могу.

00:01:47,504 --> 00:01:48,879

Да-да-да!

00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,615

Я тоже так могу!

00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:53,736

Планета Шлорп была идеальной утопией.

00:01:54,077 --> 00:01:55,907

Пока не упал астероид.

00:01:56,913 --> 00:01:59,253

Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу

00:01:59,254 --> 00:02:01,170

и сбежали в космос

00:02:01,196 --> 00:02:03,882

в поисках нового дома

в незаселённых мирах.

00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:07,381

Мы упали на Землю и застряли

на перенаселённой планете.

00:02:07,382 --> 00:02:09,131

Вот именно. Это говорю я.

00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:10,933

Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.

00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:13,574

И это моё шоу. Я бросил

Пупу. Видите меня?

00:02:13,598 --> 00:02:14,866

Это смешно.

00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:16,680

Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:17,683

Люди глупые.

00:02:17,684 --> 00:02:19,232

Все твердят, как любят семьи,

00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:21,146

но никогда не заводят большие семьи.

00:02:21,147 --> 00:02:22,396

Они маленькие.

00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:24,583

Если что-то любишь, хочешь

сделать это гигантским.

00:02:24,617 --> 00:02:29,158

ОБРАТНАЯ СТОРОНА ЗЕМЛИ

00:02:32,549 --> 00:02:34,884

Вот так. Только поделитесь.

00:02:34,885 --> 00:02:38,406

Убедитесь, чтобы на нижнем

уровне хватило арахиса.

00:02:38,432 --> 00:02:39,805

Юмьюлак, я ухожу.

00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:41,185

Приду в школу пораньше

00:02:41,186 --> 00:02:43,392

и посмотрю,

как учителя пьют на парковке.

00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:45,353

Постой. Выпущу последнюю жертву.

00:02:45,354 --> 00:02:46,372

Она образец.

00:02:46,407 --> 00:02:47,938

Стой. Я знаю её.

00:02:47,939 --> 00:02:50,489

Это она подложила собачью

кучу в почтовый ящик?

00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:51,567

Нет.

00:02:51,568 --> 00:02:53,893

Это официантка из ресторана

рядом со стрип-клубом.

00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,140

Зачем её в Стену? Она милая.

00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:57,694

Я просил без креветок.

00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:00,170

Если бы я был аллергиком, я бы умер.

Ты этого хочешь?

00:03:00,197 --> 00:03:03,529

Конечно, нет. Хочу,

чтобы все жили вечно. Ты же знаешь.

00:03:07,504 --> 00:03:08,835

О боже.

00:03:08,836 --> 00:03:10,127

Где это я?

00:03:10,128 --> 00:03:11,928

Добро пожаловать, гражданка.

00:03:12,405 --> 00:03:13,422

Эй, эй,

00:03:13,686 --> 00:03:14,525

отойдите.

00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:17,060

То, что у тебя в карманах, — наше.

00:03:17,061 --> 00:03:18,842

Бумага, жвачка, ключи.

00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:20,239

Таблетки от изжоги.

00:03:22,349 --> 00:03:24,106

Или решаем всё мирно,

00:03:24,132 --> 00:03:25,354

или с помощью зубочистки.

00:03:25,355 --> 00:03:27,142

— Выбирай.

— Это не конец.

00:03:27,146 --> 00:03:29,986

У всех когда-нибудь

заканчиваются зубочистки.

00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:34,109

Идём со мной, если хочешь жить!

00:03:34,653 --> 00:03:36,519

— Это из «Хищника».

— Из «Терминатора».

00:03:36,545 --> 00:03:38,890

Черт. Правда? Я говорю это много недель.

00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:41,119

— Уверена?

— Я сто раз смотрела.

00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,288

Надо уходить. Вот я дурак.

00:03:43,553 --> 00:03:46,183

Привет, Корво. Хочешь продолжить

00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:49,666

исправление неточностей в

межгалактической навигационной матрице?

00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:51,046

Не время расслабляться.

00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:53,374

Сегодня выясним, как мне стать магом.

00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:54,419

Магия — скука.

00:03:54,446 --> 00:03:58,255

Если магия — скука, зачем

тебе четвертак в голограмме?

00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:00,710

Что?! Ну ты даёшь! Ух ты!

00:04:00,736 --> 00:04:04,388

Именно. Ладно. Я должен

стать лучшим магом, и побыстрее.

00:04:04,391 --> 00:04:06,607

Есть какая-то мотивация?

00:04:06,608 --> 00:04:08,932

Маг не раскрывает свою мотивацию.

00:04:08,937 --> 00:04:09,647

Приступим.

00:04:09,648 --> 00:04:11,316

Вычисляю чудо.

00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:14,645

Готово. Буду учить тебя в образе

лучших иллюзионистов Земли:

00:04:14,651 --> 00:04:17,862

Гудини, Копперфильда и Мистери,

00:04:17,863 --> 00:04:19,323

ловеласа из «Игры».

00:04:20,115 --> 00:04:22,615

Я сбегу откуда угодно и брошу любую.

00:04:22,617 --> 00:04:23,663

Твой друг круче тебя.

00:04:23,689 --> 00:04:25,054

Где Копперфильд?

00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,375

Двое других съели его.

00:04:27,376 --> 00:04:29,372

Можно мне просто обычный учебник?

00:04:29,374 --> 00:04:31,124

Ладно. Выполняю.

00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:33,958

Соедини простые трюки

с тем, в чем ты мастер.

00:04:33,984 --> 00:04:35,175

— В жарке лосося.

— Ох.

00:04:35,201 --> 00:04:38,464

Компьютер, снизь эмоции до 25%.

00:04:38,706 --> 00:04:40,967

Внедри в трюки современные технологии.

00:04:40,969 --> 00:04:42,929

Сочетать технологии и ловкость рук?

00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:44,808

Это сведёт всех с ума.

00:04:44,809 --> 00:04:47,096

Особенно если подать лосося в антракте.

00:04:48,268 --> 00:04:50,565

Герцог сказал,

ты задержал конфетный налог.

00:04:50,566 --> 00:04:52,602

Я нашёл только мятные.

00:04:52,853 --> 00:04:55,403

— Идём. Не вмешивайся.

— Что это за место?

00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,527

Это место — тюрьма,

созданная инопланетянами,

00:04:58,529 --> 00:05:01,199

система из объединенных террариумов.

00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,827

Те парни — надсмотрщики.

00:05:02,829 --> 00:05:06,115

Они — боевая полиция,

сформированная правителем Стены.

00:05:06,119 --> 00:05:07,624

И это Герцог?

00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:08,953

Всё очень сложно.

00:05:08,979 --> 00:05:11,094

Он как герцог из фильма

«Побег из Нью-Йорка»?

00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,881

О, да-да, именно.

00:05:12,882 --> 00:05:15,412

Забыл про этот фильм.

Да. Точно такой же.

00:05:15,438 --> 00:05:18,299

Джесси, инопланетянка,

даёт нам конфеты и подарки.

00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,258

А Герцог хранит и распределяет их.

00:05:20,259 --> 00:05:22,180

Так он осуществляет контроль.

00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:23,427

Ну ты поняла.

00:05:23,428 --> 00:05:24,648

Почему верёвка мятная?

00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,770

Это зубная нить. Используем, что есть.

00:05:26,771 --> 00:05:29,055

У меня штаны от куклы.

00:05:30,394 --> 00:05:31,794

Давай, выбери карту.

00:05:32,729 --> 00:05:35,939

Я превращу карты в пятьдесят

шесть видов вымерших животных.

00:05:38,485 --> 00:05:40,445

Думаю, это твоя карта.

00:05:42,447 --> 00:05:44,447

Корво, это потрясающе!

00:05:44,449 --> 00:05:46,409

Когда ты стал фокусником?

00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,703

Выучился, чтобы вы полюбили меня.

00:05:48,704 --> 00:05:49,537

Сработало.

00:05:49,538 --> 00:05:52,038

Купим пиццу и обсудим,

какой ты классный.

00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,541

Хм-м. Нет.

00:05:53,542 --> 00:05:55,662

Я хотел привлечь ваше внимание фокусами,

00:05:55,669 --> 00:05:57,169

о теперь этого мало.

00:05:57,171 --> 00:05:59,218

Вы провинциальны и скучны для меня.

00:05:59,219 --> 00:06:01,763

Ты одурманен славой одного выступления?

00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:02,311

Да.

00:06:02,337 --> 00:06:04,924

Но мы никакие не провинциалы.

00:06:04,928 --> 00:06:06,387

Откуда он этого набрался?

00:06:06,388 --> 00:06:09,686

Я лучше вас и стану величайшим

фокусником всех времён.

00:06:09,687 --> 00:06:12,053

В фильме про меня вы

займёте место первой жены,

00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:13,811

которая не верила в меня.

00:06:13,812 --> 00:06:15,062

Я не смотрю фильмы дальше.

00:06:15,063 --> 00:06:18,418

У героя всё будет прекрасно,

когда он порвёт с друзьями и семьей.

00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,665

Счастливо оставаться!

00:06:21,236 --> 00:06:23,946

Это напоминает мне мой

брак с Энселом Элгортом.

00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:25,867

Мерзавец. Ему повезло, что он ушёл.

00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:28,956

Я так его любил. Позвонить бы ему!

00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:33,247

Я устрою тебе встречу с самым

авторитетным в мире агентом фокусников.

00:06:33,248 --> 00:06:36,796

Хах! Она живёт в однокомнатной

квартире у железной дороги.

00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,873

Я не готов.

Нет волшебной палочки и помощницы.

00:06:41,423 --> 00:06:42,963

Мне нужна лишь одна.

00:06:42,966 --> 00:06:45,426

Покажи фокус — хоть раз не жалуйся.

00:06:45,427 --> 00:06:47,557

Да ну тебя. Слова могут ранить.

00:06:49,932 --> 00:06:51,342

Это наш рынок.

00:06:51,351 --> 00:06:53,438

Если что-то нужно, выменяй это здесь.

00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:54,435

На что здесь меняются?

00:06:54,436 --> 00:06:57,236

На то, что было в карманах

во время уменьшения.

00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,737

Если у тебя много карманов, ты богачка.

00:06:59,738 --> 00:07:03,523

Ботаники и те, кто гуляет с собаками

за деньги, живут как короли.

00:07:03,529 --> 00:07:05,157

Волосы тоже в цене.

00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,534

Можно обменять твою чёлку на леденец,

00:07:07,536 --> 00:07:09,743

или на сосалку, если сезон.

00:07:12,454 --> 00:07:13,637

Энрике, не ешь это.

00:07:13,638 --> 00:07:15,248

У тебя будет сахарный озноб.

00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:15,871

«Сахарный озноб»?

00:07:15,897 --> 00:07:18,088

Да. Мы не знаем слова «диабет».

00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,168

«Диабет».

00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:21,298

О да, прости. Я схожу с ума.

00:07:21,299 --> 00:07:22,967

Много месяцев не ел овощи.

00:07:22,968 --> 00:07:24,666

Папа, давай, глоточек.

00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:26,526

Ты нашел инсулин в зоне выброски?

00:07:26,552 --> 00:07:29,252

Прости. У новеньких лишь

мятные леденцы и помада.

00:07:29,278 --> 00:07:31,384

Черт! Помады хватит на века!

00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:33,309

Мы что-нибудь придумаем, обещаю.

00:07:33,335 --> 00:07:34,661

Твой отец поправится.

00:07:35,161 --> 00:07:37,721

Если у него диабет,

почему он ест шоколад?

00:07:37,747 --> 00:07:39,650

Они дают нам только конфеты.

00:07:39,651 --> 00:07:42,195

Иногда бросают яблоко

или маринованный лук,

00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,092

но редко.

00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:45,594

Надо придумать, на что

выменять инсулин у Герцога.

00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:47,131

Он может достать всё.

00:07:47,165 --> 00:07:48,833

Похоже, он отрывается.

00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:51,941

Папа, стой! Ты даже не голоден!

00:07:51,967 --> 00:07:54,363

Если вы решили, что я старый фокусник,

00:07:54,371 --> 00:07:56,211

придётся лопнуть ваш шарик.

00:08:00,878 --> 00:08:02,278

Конец трюка.

00:08:13,765 --> 00:08:15,892

Настоящая магия была в нас.

00:08:15,893 --> 00:08:16,897

Аплодисменты.

00:08:18,479 --> 00:08:20,345

— Следующий.

— Что? Почему?

00:08:20,371 --> 00:08:23,191

Мало заклинаний и слишком много трупов.

00:08:23,192 --> 00:08:24,740

Нет индивидуальности, малыш.

00:08:24,766 --> 00:08:28,196

Я… я… могу создать устройство

для кражи харизмы других людей

00:08:28,197 --> 00:08:30,197

и ввести его себе в тело.

00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:32,867

Ты грустный, синий и лысый.

00:08:32,868 --> 00:08:34,246

Ничего не выйдет.

00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,409

Сама ты грустная, синяя и лысая!

00:08:36,456 --> 00:08:38,036

Что? Ты плачешь?!

00:08:38,063 --> 00:08:39,913

Я не плачу. Сама ты плачешь.

00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:48,279

Это ужасно.

00:08:48,305 --> 00:08:50,983

На этом уровне Бантовианская церковь.

00:08:51,047 --> 00:08:53,176

Здесь поклоняются Джесси,

00:08:53,177 --> 00:08:55,467

девочке-пришельцу, которая

даёт нам еду и лекарства.

00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,472

Она носит бант.

00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:59,345

Да! Вот почему церковь

называется Бантовианской.

00:08:59,347 --> 00:09:00,187

Я понял!

00:09:00,189 --> 00:09:01,932

Есть уже целая религия?

00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:03,723

И как давно вы все здесь?

00:09:03,726 --> 00:09:06,260

Время в Стене течет по-другому.

Оно меняет нас.

00:09:06,286 --> 00:09:08,377

Стой. Пришельцы контролируют время?

00:09:08,403 --> 00:09:09,826

Нет, нет. Это метафора.

00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:11,738

Мы едим много конфет,

00:09:11,756 --> 00:09:13,059

из-за этого всё становится странным.

00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:15,335

И здесь нет календаря и часов.

00:09:15,342 --> 00:09:17,552

Считай это Вегасом. Так яснее?

00:09:17,553 --> 00:09:19,143

Ладно. Да, ясно.

00:09:19,429 --> 00:09:21,781

Боюсь, нам нечем поделиться.

00:09:21,807 --> 00:09:25,646

Мы производим инсулин из гриба,

растущего на старой конфете.

00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:27,145

Хватает лишь пастве.

00:09:27,147 --> 00:09:28,104

Ерунда!

00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:30,980

Вы боитесь, что Герцог

сочтёт вас конкурентами!

00:09:31,006 --> 00:09:32,043

Просто заберём его.

00:09:32,401 --> 00:09:34,322

Я помолюсь за вашего отца.

00:09:34,653 --> 00:09:35,910

Я знал, что это зря.

00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,800

— Религия — ерунда.

— Стойте!

00:09:37,826 --> 00:09:38,992

— Возьмите.

— Что это?

00:09:38,993 --> 00:09:40,241

Колбаса.

00:09:40,242 --> 00:09:43,249

Осталось мало, но она чего-то стоит.

00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,245

Обменяйте на то, что вам нужно.

00:09:45,247 --> 00:09:48,352

О, мне нельзя здесь быть.

Храни вас бант.

00:09:48,378 --> 00:09:50,298

Протеин здесь на вес золота.

00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,954

Но хватит ли этого?

00:09:51,962 --> 00:09:54,382

Нет. Но я знаю, на что его обменять.

00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:56,407

СЛУЖЕБНЫЙ ВХОД

00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:58,593

Фокусов мало? Я должен нравиться?

00:09:58,594 --> 00:09:59,552

Это невозможно!

00:09:59,553 --> 00:10:01,304

Я зря изучал магию.

00:10:02,016 --> 00:10:05,434

— Та-да!

— Эй, смотри. Трэш-магия.

00:10:05,976 --> 00:10:07,726

Букет превращается в голубей,

00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:09,608

которые превращаются в птеродактилей.

00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,315

Та-да! Та-да!

00:10:12,316 --> 00:10:13,551

Та-да!

00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:16,533

Обычно я выкладываю реакцию

на кормление грудью,

00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:18,029

но это класс!

00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,430

Та-да!

00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,656

Та-да! Та-да!

00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:23,893

Та-да!

00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:28,285

Та-да! Та-да!

00:10:28,311 --> 00:10:29,645

Та-да!

00:10:34,064 --> 00:10:35,189

ШОУ ДЖИММИ ФЭЛЛОНА

00:10:35,215 --> 00:10:37,173

Итак. Это удивительно.

00:10:37,174 --> 00:10:40,004

Наш следующий гость… Класс,

просто класс.

00:10:40,037 --> 00:10:44,004

Поприветствуйте Невероятного

обгоревшего c помойки!

00:10:47,351 --> 00:10:49,191

Вообще, я хотел в другое шоу.

00:10:50,093 --> 00:10:52,061

НЕВЕРОЯТНЫЙ ОБГОРЕВШИЙ C ПОМОЙКИ

00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:59,659

Завтра вечером казино «Вегас-Вегас»

00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:04,477

представит Невероятного

обгоревшего с помойки!

00:11:04,503 --> 00:11:08,371

Он покажет самый опасный трюк,

на который кто-либо осмеливался:

00:11:08,372 --> 00:11:11,538

пролезет сквозь чёрную дыру!

00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,339

Как он выдержит гравиметрические силы,

00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:17,415

которые будут раздирать его на атомы?!

00:11:17,424 --> 00:11:21,301

Завтра едем в Вегас смотреть,

как Корво делает фокусы!

00:11:21,303 --> 00:11:24,763

Я наконец увижу город греха. Да! Грех!

00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:26,884

Я сделаю ставку в «Цирке-цирке»!

00:11:26,891 --> 00:11:28,391

А я спасу секс-работника.

00:11:28,392 --> 00:11:30,190

У неё больше не будет секса.

00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:31,646

Или у него.

00:11:32,114 --> 00:11:32,862

Приветствую.

00:11:32,863 --> 00:11:36,418

Я всемирно известный

фокусник Уилкинс Маккулбор.

00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:38,488

Я самый знаменитый маг,

00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:42,567

как третий брат Хемсворт.

Мои загадочные соотечественники.

00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:46,040

Мы хотим заключить пари

с Обгоревшим с помойки.

00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,155

— Где он?

— Репетирует наверху.

00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,919

Ему нельзя мешать.

00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,574

Я учуял зловоние посредственных магов.

00:11:52,584 --> 00:11:55,843

Послушайте, послушайте, не

делайте фокус с чёрной дырой.

00:11:55,844 --> 00:11:57,253

Это слишком классно!

00:11:57,254 --> 00:11:59,544

Если вы выживете, нам конец.

00:11:59,548 --> 00:12:01,049

Делаю, что хочу. Оставьте меня.

00:12:03,771 --> 00:12:05,328

Я не взяла у них автографы!

00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:08,338

Обгоревший с помойки

не оставил нам выбора.

00:12:08,364 --> 00:12:10,977

Знаю,

магический закон осуждает убийство,

00:12:10,978 --> 00:12:13,017

но я люблю траву и жриц любви.

00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:14,520

А на это нужны деньги.

00:12:14,522 --> 00:12:18,609

Сделаем так, чтобы это стало

грандиозным финалом его жизни.

00:12:22,248 --> 00:12:24,200

Теперь я не получу их автографы.

00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,778

И они убьют Корво.

00:12:25,784 --> 00:12:27,623

Повезло, что я вышла сюда.

00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:31,502

Что с тобой сегодня, Пупа?

00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:37,712

Просто так колбасой не разбрасываются.

Чего вы хотите?

00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,552

«Плейбой». Мы знаем, он у тебя.

00:12:39,553 --> 00:12:41,297

Ты с ума сошел?

00:12:41,298 --> 00:12:43,758

Это «Девушки из группы поддержки».

00:12:43,759 --> 00:12:46,984

Он стоит минимум

двадцать укусов колбасы.

00:12:47,651 --> 00:12:48,637

Да брось!

00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,978

Прости, но я не могу его обменять.

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:54,440

Это единственная

печатная продукция здесь.

00:12:54,442 --> 00:12:55,957

И потом, девушки…

00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,230

Прости. Но мне нужен этот «Плейбой»!

00:12:58,607 --> 00:13:00,489

— Педро, ты что?!

— Он у меня!

00:13:00,515 --> 00:13:03,153

— Бежим!

— На помощь! Ограбили!

00:13:15,292 --> 00:13:16,791

Работа в ресторане.

00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,409

Мистер Корво, объясните,

что мы здесь видим.

00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:24,394

Квантовое кольцо,

00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:27,021

чёрная дыра из частей моего корабля.

00:13:27,022 --> 00:13:29,112

Нужно знать физику, чтобы понять…

00:13:29,113 --> 00:13:31,067

— Как звёздные врата.

— Что за врата?

00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:33,055

Из четвертого лучшего

фильма Курта Рассела.

00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:36,527

Сегодня я Курт Рассел.

Я пройду сквозь черную дыру.

00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:39,531

Если попаду туда под верным

углом, пройду невредимым.

00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:43,037

Ошибусь хоть на миллиметр —

умру, и время может сжаться.

00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:44,171

Но я не уверен.

00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,842

Будет классное шоу, или мне больше

не придётся платить алименты.

00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,044

Ненавижу эту женщину.

00:13:50,045 --> 00:13:53,452

Это был Тед Джонсон

из-за кулис шоу магов.

00:13:53,924 --> 00:13:55,132

Точно звёздные врата.

00:13:57,803 --> 00:14:00,011

Корво,

тебе конец. Мы пришли предупредить.

00:14:00,012 --> 00:14:01,431

И заскочили за футболками?

00:14:01,432 --> 00:14:03,355

Чтобы не потеряться в толпе.

00:14:03,381 --> 00:14:06,393

Фокусники хотят убить тебя,

пока ты не выполнил трюк.

00:14:06,395 --> 00:14:08,436

О, хм. Я понимаю.

00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:10,648

Вы завидуете и хотите участвовать в шоу.

00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:14,900

У вас был шанс показать мне, что вы

цените меня, придя на вечер тако.

00:14:14,902 --> 00:14:17,071

Но из-за вас пришлось

выбросить все тако.

00:14:17,072 --> 00:14:19,791

— Помните?

— Это было сто лет назад!

00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:20,743

Нельзя столько злиться!

00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:23,766

Охрана, я не знаю этих людей.

Выведите их.

00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:25,496

Они хотят убить тебя!

00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,358

Ты не нужна мне. Это моё шоу.

00:14:28,590 --> 00:14:29,836

О, что ты сделал?

00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:32,081

Не знаю. Ударил его в эту штуку.

00:14:32,107 --> 00:14:34,170

Разделимся и найдём убийц!

00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:37,990

И где же эти карты?

00:14:38,016 --> 00:14:42,265

Вы будете приятно удивлены завтра

во время утреннего посещения туалета.

00:14:44,482 --> 00:14:47,482

А теперь, дамы и господа,

последний фокус на сегодня.

00:14:47,978 --> 00:14:50,148

Я стану первым магом в истории,

00:14:50,149 --> 00:14:52,857

который прыгнет в чёрную дыру!

00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,180

Вон они!

00:15:09,665 --> 00:15:11,834

О господи! Ого! Юмьюлак,

00:15:11,835 --> 00:15:13,465

ты перерезал им горло.

00:15:13,466 --> 00:15:16,589

Ты забрал жизнь у двух человек.

Безумие.

00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:19,170

Но мы делаем это ради

Корво, так что ничего.

00:15:19,176 --> 00:15:20,662

Да. Ничего. Порядок.

00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:32,732

О боже! Он мёртв! Корви!

00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:38,633

Не-е-е-е-е-е-е-ет!

00:15:41,323 --> 00:15:42,722

Нет!

00:15:51,706 --> 00:15:53,706

Добро пожаловать в мой скромный дом.

00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:55,789

Я Герцог, правитель теней,

00:15:55,795 --> 00:15:58,465

главная артерия, большой

мальчик, лучший щенок.

00:15:58,466 --> 00:16:01,554

Охрана сказала,

вы хотите что-то обменять?

00:16:04,027 --> 00:16:05,906

«Девушки из группы поддержки»?

00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:06,776

Что вы хотите?

00:16:06,802 --> 00:16:09,250

Нам нужен инсулин. Отец умирает.

00:16:09,276 --> 00:16:11,725

О, глупо отказываться от этой сделки.

00:16:11,726 --> 00:16:14,187

Эй, дайте сахарные уколы моим друзьям!

00:16:14,188 --> 00:16:15,564

Большое спасибо.

00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:18,984

О. Слышал, вы подняли

восстание на втором уровне.

00:16:18,985 --> 00:16:20,694

Оно разошлось на три уровня.

00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:23,323

Я потерял в нём надсмотрщика.

00:16:23,324 --> 00:16:25,242

Там погибло много людей.

00:16:25,243 --> 00:16:27,477

Непросто сохранять мир в таком месте.

00:16:27,503 --> 00:16:30,038

Даже если бы мы не были

пленниками детей-инопланетян,

00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,117

было бы непросто всё время быть рядом.

00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:34,833

Это постоянная борьба.

00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:36,923

Прошу, сэр. Умоляю, пощадите.

00:16:36,925 --> 00:16:38,086

Отец умирает.

00:16:38,087 --> 00:16:40,876

О, сынок, я не чудовище.

00:16:40,882 --> 00:16:42,882

Конечно, твой отец получит инсулин.

00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:44,434

Наша работа — выживать.

00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:49,014

Зачем ты сделал это?!

00:16:49,015 --> 00:16:50,061

Уберите их.

00:16:50,062 --> 00:16:52,347

Запахло, как на нижних уровнях.

00:16:54,812 --> 00:16:58,106

О, интервью с Марком Кьюбаном. Класс!

00:16:59,108 --> 00:17:03,372

Сегодня мы вернём Корво

Великому старому дереву,

00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,281

по традиции, как он и хотел бы.

00:17:06,282 --> 00:17:09,452

Его разорвут благородные птицы.

00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,552

Что сказать о Корво?

00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:17,827

Корво с лёгкостью стал самым

непопулярным членом семьи.

00:17:17,835 --> 00:17:19,920

И от него пахло молоком.

00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:21,631

Но мы будем скучать.

00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,424

Простите, не хотел плакать здесь.

00:17:24,425 --> 00:17:26,595

Хотел сделать это позже, в ванной.

00:17:26,596 --> 00:17:28,764

Корво был злым, а быть злым — классно.

00:17:29,764 --> 00:17:31,524

Это было красиво.

00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:37,649

— Всего одна птица?

— Да, их трудно поймать. Боже.

00:17:44,108 --> 00:17:46,276

Жаль, что мы не пришли на вечеринку,

00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:47,989

когда Корво был жив.

00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:49,877

Сказали бы,

как здесь скучно, ему в лицо.

00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:54,162

Да. Хотя было ясно, что он хочет

заставить нас слушать про ремонт корабля,

00:17:54,163 --> 00:17:55,614

было бы классно, если бы он был рядом.

00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,415

Поэтому в его честь

я принёс его учебники.

00:17:58,416 --> 00:18:00,512

мы будем читать о его

работе над кораблём

00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,129

и продолжим её, ради Корво.

00:18:03,131 --> 00:18:04,474

Думаю, теперь придётся.

00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:05,935

Та-да!

00:18:07,072 --> 00:18:08,104

Больше не бей туда.

00:18:08,138 --> 00:18:10,350

Ты жив! О, Корво, ты жив!

00:18:10,351 --> 00:18:11,596

Жив, как лис.

00:18:11,597 --> 00:18:14,570

А вы все купились.

Это была «Иллюзия обмана».

00:18:14,596 --> 00:18:16,758

Правда? Фильм? С Джесси Айзенбергом?

00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:18,308

Он научил меня двум вещам:

00:18:18,334 --> 00:18:21,314

первое: лучшая часть любого

фокуса — тратить время и деньги

00:18:21,315 --> 00:18:22,524

на продуманную ложь.

00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:24,398

— И второе — семья.

— Семья?

00:18:24,424 --> 00:18:26,903

Это случилось, когда я

променял вас на Вегас.

00:18:26,904 --> 00:18:29,771

Да, знаете,

мы были одинокими фокусниками,

00:18:29,797 --> 00:18:32,657

а теперь вот — мы абрака-семья.

00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,539

Я понял, что зашёл слишком

далеко и вы нужны мне.

00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:38,417

Мы не просто команда. Мы еще семья.

00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,206

Поэтому я нанял этих фокусников.

00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:42,410

Они все безработные актёры.

00:18:42,436 --> 00:18:44,921

Не говори так! Я люблю их!

00:18:44,922 --> 00:18:48,680

Потому что под покровом ночи я

внедрил вам воспоминания о них.

00:18:48,681 --> 00:18:50,336

Терри, мы убили двух из них.

00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:51,764

Думаю, это часть фокуса.

00:18:51,765 --> 00:18:53,329

Стой. Ты притворился мёртвым?

00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:55,432

Посмотрев «Иллюзию обмана 2»,

00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:57,893

я прочитал роман по фильму «Престиж».

00:18:57,894 --> 00:19:00,482

Умерший Корво был клоном,

кстати, очень хорошим.

00:19:00,483 --> 00:19:04,208

Он думал, он — это я. Я сделал так,

чтобы он чувствовал боль и прочее.

00:19:04,234 --> 00:19:07,357

И сработало. Вы поверили, что

я умер, и пришли на вечеринку.

00:19:07,361 --> 00:19:08,761

Классный фокус?

00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:13,080

— О да!

— Потрясающе!

00:19:13,106 --> 00:19:15,489

Корво, это был лучший фокус!

00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:17,455

Кто-то еще делал фокусы?

00:19:19,348 --> 00:19:23,435

Пупа сегодня весь

день был картонным?!

00:19:23,461 --> 00:19:24,753

Кто же ты?

00:19:24,754 --> 00:19:26,424

— Та-да!

— Браво, Пупа! Молодец!

00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:28,798

Это лучший день фокусов!

00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,096

Фокусы! Фокусы! Фокусы! Фокусы!

00:19:31,158 --> 00:19:33,112

Фокусы! Фокусы! Фокусы! Фокусы!

00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,137

Фокусы! Фокусы! Фокусы! Фокусы!

00:19:35,139 --> 00:19:36,431

Хватит.

00:19:36,432 --> 00:19:39,351

Итак. У лавоподобного реактора

семьдесят восемь частей.

00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,061

Первая — труба пахохо.

00:19:41,062 --> 00:19:42,706

У нее семьдесят два шунта.

00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:46,306

Каждый шунт нужно аккуратно

вставить, прежде чем приступить…

00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:47,522

Отстой.

00:19:47,932 --> 00:19:51,021

Энрике, я сожалею. Это ужасно.

00:19:51,047 --> 00:19:52,364

Ты спас меня, Тим,

00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:54,705

но я не знаю, как буду жить без сына.

00:19:54,706 --> 00:19:56,241

Я просто не знаю.

00:19:56,244 --> 00:19:58,544

Если умираешь в детстве,

попадаешь на небо?

00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,998

Он умер в детстве!

00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,421

Так не должно быть.

00:20:05,422 --> 00:20:07,459

Педро не должен был умереть!

00:20:08,089 --> 00:20:10,339

Я изменю это место.

00:20:10,341 --> 00:20:12,591

Как один человек может изменить мир?

00:20:14,971 --> 00:20:16,888

Разрушив его.

00:20:16,889 --> 00:20:18,850

— Давай, давай, бегемот. Ешь. Ешь.

— Давай, ешь, бегемот!

00:20:18,876 --> 00:20:20,675

Вот тебе, Джесси!

00:20:20,701 --> 00:20:22,002

— Люблю эту игру.

— Бегемоты!

00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,118

Компьютер, отключить симуляцию мариачи.

00:00:15,658 --> 00:00:19,038

Надеюсь, вы идете купить больше тако

00:00:19,038 --> 00:00:20,578

для нашей Ночи тако в четверг.

00:00:20,578 --> 00:00:23,208

Подожди, это сегодня? Я был уверен, что в понедельник.

00:00:23,208 --> 00:00:26,128

Тако всегда по четвергам, а вы пропустили уже три раза.

00:00:26,128 --> 00:00:28,128

Мы знаем, что ты просто надеешься, что мы побудем с тобой.

00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:30,638

Нет! Я надеюсь научить вас чинить корабль.

00:00:30,638 --> 00:00:32,678

Как долго мы должны избегать тебя,

00:00:32,678 --> 00:00:34,888

чтобы ты уже оставил всю эту затею с тако?

00:00:34,888 --> 00:00:36,058

- О, вы пойдете.

- Неа.

00:00:36,058 --> 00:00:38,308

Придете так сильно, что еще сами будете умолять меня остановиться.

00:00:38,308 --> 00:00:39,098

Ну да, надейся.

00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,728

Мы идем на день рождения к Коннеру Миллеру.

00:00:40,728 --> 00:00:43,398

Его мама богата, а отец пытается писать книги,

00:00:43,398 --> 00:00:44,688

так что я уверен, что будет драка.

00:00:44,688 --> 00:00:45,778

Там будет фокусник.

00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:49,398

Это будет мой первый автограф в классном журнале автографов фокусников.

00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:50,408

Магия - это глупо.

00:00:50,408 --> 00:00:52,988

Может, я тоже пойду, чтобы объяснить вам, как эти трюки выполняются.

00:00:52,988 --> 00:00:55,158

Пожалуйста, не приходи. Я уверен, тебе там не понравится.

00:00:55,158 --> 00:00:56,748

Там не будет никаких домашних дел и криков.

00:00:56,748 --> 00:01:00,078

Эм, Корво, ты не очень-то хорошо общаешься с людьми.

00:01:00,078 --> 00:01:01,288

Так всегда.

00:01:01,288 --> 00:01:03,338

Твоя реверсивная психология сработала, Терри.

00:01:03,338 --> 00:01:05,998

Ничто не остановит меня, я пойду на вечеринку.

00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:08,088

Да, Корво!

00:01:15,098 --> 00:01:16,468

Бесполезная трата бумаги.

00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:18,978

Единственная хорошая церемония с детьми - это еврейская,

00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:20,228

где им отрезают пенисы.

00:01:20,228 --> 00:01:22,018

Я прав?

00:01:22,018 --> 00:01:22,728

Медленнее!

00:01:24,358 --> 00:01:26,778

Всего лишь луч замедления. Ничего такого.

00:01:26,778 --> 00:01:31,358

Магия. Магия. Магия.

00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,158

Банально.

00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:35,488

Магия! Магия!

00:01:35,488 --> 00:01:37,448

Кролика прятали под столом. Тупо.

00:01:38,328 --> 00:01:39,698

Поддельный палец.

00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:41,458

Шары в подмышках.

00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,078

Во рту куча флагов.

00:01:43,078 --> 00:01:45,128

Это так глупо, любой же справится.

00:01:45,128 --> 00:01:46,128

Я бы смог.

00:01:48,878 --> 00:01:50,588

Я могу.

00:01:51,588 --> 00:01:53,718

Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией.

00:01:54,048 --> 00:01:55,888

До падения астероида.

00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:59,218

Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой

00:01:59,218 --> 00:02:01,268

и отправились в космос

00:02:01,268 --> 00:02:03,848

в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.

00:02:04,398 --> 00:02:07,358

Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселенной планете.

00:02:07,358 --> 00:02:09,108

Верно, это я говорил все это время.

00:02:09,108 --> 00:02:10,858

Я тот, который держут Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.

00:02:10,858 --> 00:02:13,278

Это... это мое шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу. Видите меня?

00:02:13,278 --> 00:02:14,658

Это просто смешно.

00:02:14,658 --> 00:02:16,658

Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:02:16,658 --> 00:02:17,658

Люди глупые.

00:02:17,658 --> 00:02:19,198

Они всегда говорят о том, как любят свою семью,

00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:21,118

но почему-то у них всех не огромные семьи.

00:02:21,118 --> 00:02:22,368

Они все нормального размера.

00:02:22,368 --> 00:02:24,498

Если тебе что-то нравится, то пусть оно будет огромным.

00:02:32,508 --> 00:02:34,838

Ладно, делитесь.

00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:38,468

Нижним уровням должны достаться конфеты с арахисом, а еще не зажимайте скиттлз.

00:02:38,468 --> 00:02:39,758

Юмьюлак, я уже выхожу.

00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:41,138

Хочу поехать в школу пораньше,

00:02:41,138 --> 00:02:43,348

чтобы посмотреть, как учителя пьют на парковке.

00:02:43,348 --> 00:02:45,268

Подожди. Хочу добавить мою последнюю жертву.

00:02:45,268 --> 00:02:46,308

Точнее, экземпляр.

00:02:46,308 --> 00:02:47,898

Подожди, я ее знаю.

00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:50,358

Эта та женщина, которая кладет собачьи какашки в почтовый ящик?

00:02:50,358 --> 00:02:51,528

Нет, но жаль.

00:02:51,528 --> 00:02:54,028

Это всего лишь официантка из Бениханы возле стриптиз-клуба.

00:02:54,028 --> 00:02:56,068

Почему она присоединяется к стене? Я думала, что она хорошая.

00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:57,658

Я сказал, что не хочу креветок!

00:02:57,658 --> 00:03:00,238

Если бы у меня была аллергия, я бы умер! Ты этого хочешь?

00:03:00,238 --> 00:03:03,578

Конечно же нет. Я хочу, чтобы все жили вечно. Ты же знаешь.

00:03:07,128 --> 00:03:08,788

О боже.

00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,088

Где я, черт возьми?

00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:11,878

Добро пожаловать.

00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:13,378

Эй, эй...

00:03:13,378 --> 00:03:15,008

Не подходите!

00:03:15,008 --> 00:03:17,008

Все, что есть у тебя в карманах, теперь наше!

00:03:17,008 --> 00:03:18,798

Кошелек, жвачка, ключи...

00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,808

У нее есть Тамс!

00:03:22,308 --> 00:03:23,928

Мы можем решить все легко и мирно

00:03:23,928 --> 00:03:25,308

или же все усложнить.

00:03:25,308 --> 00:03:27,098

- Выбор за вами.

- Мы еще не закончили.

00:03:27,098 --> 00:03:29,938

У всех когда-нибудь заканчиваются зубочистки.

00:03:32,568 --> 00:03:34,068

Иди со мной, если хочешь жить.

00:03:34,608 --> 00:03:36,528

- Это из Хищника.

- Это из Терминатора.

00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,908

О черт, серьезно? Потому что я говорил так постоянно.

00:03:38,908 --> 00:03:41,078

- Ты уверена?

- Я смотрела этот фильм уже сотню раз.

00:03:41,078 --> 00:03:43,248

Пойдем. Какой я идиот.

00:03:43,538 --> 00:03:46,158

Как дела, Корво? Ты хочешь продолжить

00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:49,628

корректирование неточностей в между-галактической навигационной матрице?

00:03:49,628 --> 00:03:50,998

Нет, у меня нет времени на отдых.

00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,338

Сегодня мы узнаем, как мне стать фокусником.

00:03:53,338 --> 00:03:54,668

А разве фокусы не... отстой?

00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:58,218

Если фокусы - это остой, то что в твоей голограмме делает четвертак?

00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,848

Что? Вот это да. Вау.

00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:04,348

Именно. Ладно, я должен стать лучшим фокусником как можно быстрее.

00:04:04,348 --> 00:04:06,558

Это какая-то эмоциональная арка?

00:04:06,558 --> 00:04:08,898

Фокусник никогда не раскрывает своей мотивации.

00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:09,598

Давай приступим.

00:04:09,598 --> 00:04:11,268

Анализирую чудеса.

00:04:11,268 --> 00:04:14,608

Готово. Обучение построено на основе работ величайших иллюзионистов.

00:04:14,608 --> 00:04:17,818

Худини, Копперфильд и Мистери,

00:04:17,818 --> 00:04:19,278

мастер пикапа из Игры.

00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:22,578

Я могу выбраться из чего угодно и обмануть кого угодно.

00:04:22,578 --> 00:04:23,618

Ты не так горяч, как твой друг.

00:04:23,618 --> 00:04:25,038

Где тут Копперфильд?

00:04:25,038 --> 00:04:27,328

Две другие личности поглотили его.

00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:29,328

Может, пожалуйста, дать обычную инструкцию?

00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:31,078

Хорошо. Анализирую.

00:04:31,078 --> 00:04:32,878

Тебе просто следует совместить простые трюки,

00:04:32,878 --> 00:04:33,958

в которых ты уже хорош.

00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:35,168

Умею готовить лосось?

00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:38,428

Компьютер, снизить уровень выражения раздражения на 25 процентов.

00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,928

Тебе стоит использовать технологии в выступлении.

00:04:40,928 --> 00:04:42,888

Соединить инопланетные технологии с ловкостью рук.

00:04:42,888 --> 00:04:44,758

Такое шоу просто взорвет всем мозг!

00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:47,058

Особенно, если подавать лосось в антракте.

00:04:48,228 --> 00:04:50,518

Герцог сказал, что ты не отдал скиттлз-налог.

00:04:50,518 --> 00:04:52,558

Я смог найти только мятные конфеты.

00:04:52,898 --> 00:04:55,278

- Иди дальше, не обращай внимания.

- Что это за чертово место?

00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:58,488

Это все тюрьма, созданная теми детьми-пришельцами.

00:04:58,488 --> 00:05:01,158

Это система соединенных террариумов.

00:05:01,158 --> 00:05:02,778

Те парни - силовики.

00:05:02,778 --> 00:05:06,078

Они работают в военной полиции, созданной правителем стены.

00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:07,658

Я так понимаю, это Герцог?

00:05:07,658 --> 00:05:08,868

Все довольно сложно.

00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:10,998

Он типа как Герцог Нью-Йорка из фильма Побег из Нью-Йорка?

00:05:10,998 --> 00:05:12,828

О, ладно, да. Все так и есть.

00:05:12,828 --> 00:05:15,338

Я забыл о том фильме. Да, именно так.

00:05:15,338 --> 00:05:18,258

Джесси, инопланетянка, дает нам конфеты и подарки.

00:05:18,258 --> 00:05:20,218

А потом Герцог забирает их и делит,

00:05:20,218 --> 00:05:22,218

вот так он держит все под контролем.

00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:23,388

Да, ты все поняла.

00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:24,888

Почему веревка такая мятная?

00:05:24,888 --> 00:05:26,718

Потому что это зубная нить. Используем что можем.

00:05:26,718 --> 00:05:29,018

Мои штаны сделаны из фантиков.

00:05:30,348 --> 00:05:31,438

Давайте, выберите карту.

00:05:32,688 --> 00:05:35,898

Теперь я превращу эти карты в 56 разных вымирающих животных.

00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,398

Думаю... это твоя карта.

00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,408

Корво, это так классно!

00:05:44,408 --> 00:05:46,368

Когда ты успел стать фокусником?

00:05:46,368 --> 00:05:48,658

Я тайно учился этому, чтобы вы меня полюбили.

00:05:48,658 --> 00:05:49,498

Сработало!

00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,998

Нам стоит выбраться за пиццей и поговорить о том, какой ты классный.

00:05:51,998 --> 00:05:53,498

Хм, неа.

00:05:53,498 --> 00:05:55,628

Я думал, что фокусы помогут завоевать ваше внимание,

00:05:55,628 --> 00:05:57,128

но теперь этого недостаточно.

00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:59,168

Вы просто отстойные провинциалы для меня.

00:05:59,168 --> 00:06:01,378

Ты отравлен славой из-за одного выступления?

00:06:01,378 --> 00:06:02,338

Да.

00:06:02,338 --> 00:06:04,888

Но мы вообще не провинциалы.

00:06:04,888 --> 00:06:06,348

Откуда он все это взял?

00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:07,808

Теперь, когда я лучше вас, я стану

00:06:07,808 --> 00:06:09,638

величайшим фокусником всех времен.

00:06:09,638 --> 00:06:12,018

А вы все будете первой женой в моей в байопике,

00:06:12,018 --> 00:06:13,768

которые не верили в меня.

00:06:13,768 --> 00:06:15,018

Я выключаю фильм на этом моменте,

00:06:15,018 --> 00:06:16,648

поэтому, думаю, протагонисту будет лучше,

00:06:16,648 --> 00:06:18,398

если они разорвет все отношения с семьей.

00:06:18,398 --> 00:06:20,528

Теперь вы позади!

00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:23,908

Прямо как тот раз, когда я женился на Энселе Эльгорте.

00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,818

Вот же негодяй. Ему еще повезло.

00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,908

Я так его любил. Почему я не могу позвонить ему?

00:06:29,368 --> 00:06:32,118

Я назначил тебе встречу с величайшим охотником за фокусниками

00:06:32,118 --> 00:06:33,208

в мире.

00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:36,748

Ха! Она живет в квартире с одной спальней над Wendy возле станции.

00:06:36,748 --> 00:06:39,838

Я не готов. У меня нет палочки или ассистента...

00:06:41,378 --> 00:06:42,918

Мне нужна была только одна.

00:06:42,918 --> 00:06:45,388

А давай твоим следующим фокусом будет не ворчать?

00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:47,508

Да пошел ты, компьютер. Это было обидно.

00:06:49,888 --> 00:06:51,308

Это рынок.

00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:53,388

Если тебе что-то нужно, то ты можешь купить это здесь.

00:06:53,388 --> 00:06:54,388

Чем тут люди торгуют?

00:06:54,388 --> 00:06:57,188

Ну, обычно тем, что у них остается в карманах.

00:06:57,188 --> 00:06:59,688

Если у тебя шорты с карманами, то ты богат.

00:06:59,688 --> 00:07:03,488

Провинциальные отцы и лесбиянки с собаками живут тут как короли.

00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:05,108

Знаешь, твои волосы тоже ценные.

00:07:05,108 --> 00:07:07,488

Возможно, мы сможем обменять их на газировку.

00:07:07,488 --> 00:07:09,698

Или на сладости, если они есть.

00:07:12,408 --> 00:07:13,538

Энрике? Не ешь это.

00:07:13,538 --> 00:07:15,208

У тебя из-за этого будет сахарная встряска.

00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:15,918

Сахарная встряска?

00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,038

Да, мы не знаем, как называется диабет.

00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,128

Диабет.

00:07:19,128 --> 00:07:21,248

О да. Прости. Я тут с ума схожу.

00:07:21,248 --> 00:07:22,918

Я давно не ел овощей.

00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:24,548

Папа, ну давай, попей.

00:07:24,548 --> 00:07:26,588

Ты нашел инсулин? В зоне сброса?

00:07:26,588 --> 00:07:29,258

Прости. У всех были только жвачки и бальзам для губ.

00:07:29,258 --> 00:07:31,348

Черт. У нас и так достаточно бальзама.

00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:33,268

Слушай, мы справимся. Я обещаю.

00:07:33,268 --> 00:07:35,438

Твой отец будет в порядке.

00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:37,728

Если у этого человека диабет, то почему он ест шоколад?

00:07:37,728 --> 00:07:39,608

У нас тут есть только конфеты.

00:07:39,608 --> 00:07:42,148

Иногда они дают нам яблоко или маринованный лук,

00:07:42,148 --> 00:07:43,188

но это происходит редко.

00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:45,608

Нам нужно понять, как выторговать инсулин у Герцога.

00:07:45,608 --> 00:07:47,108

У него есть что угодно.

00:07:47,108 --> 00:07:48,778

У него точно будут проблемы.

00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:51,908

Папа, прекрати! Ты ведь даже не хочешь есть.

00:07:51,908 --> 00:07:54,328

Если вы думали, что я простой фокусник,

00:07:54,328 --> 00:07:56,158

то вынужден вас разочаровать.

00:08:00,838 --> 00:08:01,878

Конец фокуса.

00:08:13,718 --> 00:08:15,848

Настоящая магия была все время в вас.

00:08:15,848 --> 00:08:16,728

А теперь похлопайте.

00:08:18,438 --> 00:08:20,478

- Нет.

- Что? Почему?

00:08:20,478 --> 00:08:23,148

Ты - абсолютный среднячок.

00:08:23,148 --> 00:08:24,818

У тебя нет личности.

00:08:24,818 --> 00:08:28,158

Я-я могу построить прибор, который крадет харизму людей,

00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:30,158

а потом вводит ее в мое тело, как химиотерапия.

00:08:30,158 --> 00:08:32,828

Ты просто стремный синий чувак без волос.

00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:34,198

Этого не будет.

00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:36,408

Это ты стремный синий чувак!

00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:38,078

Ты что, плачешь?

00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:39,878

Я не плачу, это ты плачешь!

00:08:47,088 --> 00:08:48,298

Тут стремно.

00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:50,968

Да, на этом этаже правит Бантиковая церковь.

00:08:50,968 --> 00:08:53,098

Эта религия почитает Джесси.

00:08:53,098 --> 00:08:55,388

Ту девушку, которая дает нам еду и лекарства.

00:08:55,388 --> 00:08:56,518

У нее еще бантик.

00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:59,268

О, точно, именно поэтому церковь называется Бантиковой.

00:08:59,268 --> 00:09:00,098

Ладно, теперь понял.

00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,858

Тут уже целая религия?

00:09:01,858 --> 00:09:03,648

Как долго вы тут?

00:09:03,648 --> 00:09:06,318

В стене время течет иначе. Оно меняет.

00:09:06,318 --> 00:09:08,318

Подожди, инопланетяне могут контролировать время?

00:09:08,318 --> 00:09:09,858

Нет, нет. Это метафора.

00:09:09,858 --> 00:09:11,778

Слушай, мы просто едим много конфет

00:09:11,778 --> 00:09:12,988

и из-за этого все странно.

00:09:12,988 --> 00:09:15,368

К тому же, тут нет календаря или часов.

00:09:15,368 --> 00:09:17,578

Считай это Вегасом. Просто прими это, хорошо?

00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:19,158

Ладно, боже, поняла.

00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,828

Боюсь, мы ничем не можем помочь.

00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:25,668

Мы получаем инсулин из плесени, которую мы выращиваем на старых конфетах.

00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:27,168

У нас нет лишнего.

00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:28,128

Это бред!

00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:31,008

Ты боишься, что Герцогу не понравится, что ты соперничаешь с ним.

00:09:31,008 --> 00:09:31,588

мы возьмем его.

00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,258

Я буду молиться за твоего отца.

00:09:34,678 --> 00:09:35,928

Я знал, что они не помогут.

00:09:35,928 --> 00:09:37,808

- Религия - остой.

- Подождите.

00:09:37,808 --> 00:09:39,018

- Возьмите это.

- Что это?

00:09:39,018 --> 00:09:40,268

Это Слим Джим.

00:09:40,268 --> 00:09:43,268

Тут на два укуса, но хоть что-то.

00:09:43,268 --> 00:09:45,268

Обменяйте это на то, что вам нужно.

00:09:45,268 --> 00:09:48,318

Я не должна тут быть. Да прибудет с вами бантик.

00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:50,318

Протеин тут как золото.

00:09:50,318 --> 00:09:51,988

Но достаточно ли этого для Герцога?

00:09:51,988 --> 00:09:54,408

Нет, но я знаю, на что мы можем обменять его.

00:09:56,328 --> 00:09:58,618

Фокусов недостаточно? Я должен нравится людям?

00:09:58,618 --> 00:09:59,578

Это невозможно!

00:09:59,578 --> 00:10:01,328

Зря я учился фокусам!

00:10:02,038 --> 00:10:05,458

- Та-да!

- Эй, посмотри: мусорные фокусы!

00:10:05,998 --> 00:10:07,748

И букет, который превращается в голубей!

00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:09,628

А они обращаются в птеродактелей!

00:10:13,468 --> 00:10:16,558

Я обычно публикую только реакции на грудное вскармливание,

00:10:16,558 --> 00:10:18,058

но это просто дичь.

00:10:35,238 --> 00:10:37,198

Ладно, это просто здороов. Я поверить не могу.

00:10:37,198 --> 00:10:40,038

Наш следующий гость просто прекрасен, просто вау.

00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:43,868

Встречайте Невероятного Мусорного Человека!

00:10:47,128 --> 00:10:48,958

Я хотел быть в гостях у Киммеля.

00:10:56,598 --> 00:10:59,678

Завтра вечером в казино Вегас Вегас

00:10:59,678 --> 00:11:04,228

будет выступать Невероятный Мусорный Человек!

00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:08,398

Он будет выполнять самый опасный фокус:

00:11:08,398 --> 00:11:11,438

прыжок сквозь черную дыру!

00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:14,568

Как он переживет гравиметрическую силу,

00:11:14,568 --> 00:11:17,448

которая разорвет его тело на кусочки?

00:11:17,448 --> 00:11:21,328

Мы поедем завтра в Вегас, чтобы посмотреть на фокусы Корво.

00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:24,788

Я наконец-то увижу город греха! Ура, грех!

00:11:24,788 --> 00:11:26,918

Я все проиграю в казино!

00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:28,418

А я спасу проститутку!

00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,208

У нее больше никогда не будет секса.

00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:31,668

Или у него.

00:11:32,088 --> 00:11:32,878

Приветствую.

00:11:32,878 --> 00:11:36,638

Я всемирно известный фокусник Вилкинс Майкавбер.

00:11:36,638 --> 00:11:38,508

Я очень знаменит.

00:11:38,508 --> 00:11:42,598

Это три брата Хемсворта, мои мистичные соотечественники.

00:11:42,598 --> 00:11:46,058

Мы хотим переговорить с Невероятным Мусорным Человеком.

00:11:46,058 --> 00:11:48,188

- Где он?

- Он тренируется.

00:11:48,188 --> 00:11:49,938

Никто не должен его беспокоить.

00:11:49,938 --> 00:11:52,608

Мне кажется, я почувствовал запах не таких хороших фокусников.

00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:55,858

Слушай, слушай, слушай. Ты не можешь делать тот трюк с черной дырой.

00:11:55,858 --> 00:11:57,278

Он слишком хорош!

00:11:57,278 --> 00:11:59,568

Если ты выживешь, умрут наши карьеры.

00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:01,078

Я делаю что хочу, отстаньте!

00:12:03,368 --> 00:12:05,288

Я не взяла у них автографы!

00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,578

Невероятный Мусорный Человек не оставил нам выбора.

00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:10,998

Я знаю, что фокусники осуждают убийство,

00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,048

но я люблю травку и проституток.

00:12:13,048 --> 00:12:14,548

Мне нужны эти деньги.

00:12:14,548 --> 00:12:18,638

Мы убедимся, что это будет финал. Его жизни.

00:12:21,598 --> 00:12:24,218

Теперь я никогда не получу их автографы.

00:12:24,218 --> 00:12:25,808

И они убьют Корво!

00:12:25,808 --> 00:12:27,638

Как удобно, что я оказалась здесь.

00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:31,518

Да что с тобой сегодня, Пупа?

00:12:33,858 --> 00:12:37,738

Если ты выложил Слим Джима, значит, дело серьезное.

00:12:37,738 --> 00:12:39,568

Нам нужен твой Playboy. Мы знаем, что он у тебя.

00:12:39,568 --> 00:12:41,318

Вы из ума выжили?

00:12:41,318 --> 00:12:43,788

Это же выпуск Girls of the Pac 10.

00:12:43,788 --> 00:12:46,868

Он стоит не менее 20 укусов.

00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:48,668

Ну же!

00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,998

Мне жаль, но я не могу поменяться с вами.

00:12:50,998 --> 00:12:53,378

Это единственная книга,

00:12:53,378 --> 00:12:54,458

которая здесь есть.

00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:55,878

Ну и сиськи, понимаете.

00:12:55,878 --> 00:12:58,128

Прости, мне нужен этот Playboy!

00:12:58,628 --> 00:13:00,218

- Педро! Что ты делаешь?

- Он у меня.

00:13:00,218 --> 00:13:01,048

Пошли!

00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,178

Помогите! Воры!

00:13:15,318 --> 00:13:16,818

Бенихана, сучки.

00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:22,448

Господин Корво, вы можете объяснить конкретнее,

00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:23,408

на что мы смотрим?

00:13:23,408 --> 00:13:24,368

Это квантомное кольцо.

00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,998

Черная дыра, которую я построил из обломков моего корабля.

00:13:26,998 --> 00:13:29,078

Вы должны хорошо разбираться в физике, чтобы понять...

00:13:29,078 --> 00:13:31,038

- Похоже на Звездные врата.

- Что такое Звездные врата?

00:13:31,038 --> 00:13:33,248

Это вот эта штука, четвертый лучший фильм Курта Рассела.

00:13:33,248 --> 00:13:36,508

Тогда я буду сегодня Куртом Расселом и прыгну в черную дыру.

00:13:36,508 --> 00:13:39,508

Если я сделаю это под правильным углом, то никакого вреда не будет.

00:13:39,508 --> 00:13:43,008

Если я смещусь даже на миллиметр, то я умру и, возможно, время взорвется.

00:13:43,008 --> 00:13:44,178

Не уверен насчет последнего.

00:13:44,178 --> 00:13:47,598

Значит, либо это будет классное шоу, либо мне больше не придется платить алименты.

00:13:48,848 --> 00:13:50,018

Ненавижу эту женщину.

00:13:50,018 --> 00:13:52,018

Это Тед Джонсон с репортажем

00:13:52,018 --> 00:13:53,058

с шоу фокусников.

00:13:53,898 --> 00:13:55,108

Да, это точно Звездные врата.

00:13:57,778 --> 00:13:59,988

Корво, ты в беде! И мы должны предупредить тебя!

00:13:59,988 --> 00:14:01,398

Но вы сначала купили футболки.

00:14:01,398 --> 00:14:03,408

Это на всякий, чтобы мы не затерялись в толпе.

00:14:03,408 --> 00:14:06,368

Фокусники убьют тебя до того, как ты выполнишь трюк.

00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:08,408

О, я понял.

00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:10,618

Вы завидуете, вот и хотите быть частью моего шоу.

00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,828

У вас была возможность показать мне, как вы меня цените,

00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:14,878

вы могли прийти на мою Ночь Тако в четверг.

00:14:14,878 --> 00:14:17,048

Но мне пришлось выбросить все тако.

00:14:17,048 --> 00:14:19,668

- Помните это?

- Нет, это было так давно.

00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:20,798

Ты не можешь все еще злиться на нас.

00:14:20,798 --> 00:14:23,758

Охрана, я не знаю этих людей. Выкиньте их отсюда!

00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:25,468

Они убьют тебя!

00:14:25,468 --> 00:14:27,218

Вы мне не нужны! Это моя арка!

00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:29,808

Вау, что ты сделал?

00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:32,138

Не знаю, я ударил его в ту штуку, которая есть у людей.

00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,058

Разделимся и найдем этих убийц.

00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,858

И куда делись все карты?

00:14:37,858 --> 00:14:40,068

Думаю, вы удивитесь,

00:14:40,068 --> 00:14:42,238

когда будете сидеть на унитазе завтра.

00:14:44,408 --> 00:14:47,408

А теперь, леди и джентельмены, финальный трюк!

00:14:47,948 --> 00:14:50,118

Я буду первым фокусником в истории,

00:14:50,118 --> 00:14:52,828

который прыгнул в черную дыру!

00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,168

Вот они!

00:15:09,638 --> 00:15:11,808

О боже, вау, Юмьюлак,

00:15:11,808 --> 00:15:13,438

ты перерезал им горло.

00:15:13,438 --> 00:15:16,558

Ты только что прикончил двух парней. Это безумие.

00:15:16,558 --> 00:15:19,148

Но ты сделал это, чтобы спасти жизнь Корво. Так что ладно.

00:15:19,148 --> 00:15:20,608

Да, ладно. Хорошо, хорошо.

00:15:30,288 --> 00:15:32,698

О боже, он мертв! Мой Корви!

00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:38,708

Нет!

00:15:41,298 --> 00:15:42,508

Нет!

00:15:51,678 --> 00:15:53,678

Добро пожаловать в мою скромную обитель.

00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,768

Я Герцог. Правитель теней.

00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:58,438

Главная вена. Большой мальчик. Предводитель стаи.

00:15:58,438 --> 00:16:01,528

Мои охранники сказали, что вы хотите поменяться со мной?

00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:05,648

Girls of the Pac 10!

00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:06,818

Что вы за них хотите?

00:16:06,818 --> 00:16:09,118

Нам нужен инсулин. Мой отец умирает.

00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:11,698

Я был бы безумцем, если бы отказался.

00:16:11,698 --> 00:16:14,158

Эй, дайте им лекарство!

00:16:14,158 --> 00:16:15,538

Огромное спасибо!

00:16:15,538 --> 00:16:18,958

Я слышал, что из-за вас на втором уровне начался бунт.

00:16:18,958 --> 00:16:20,668

Знаете, что он распространился на три уровня?

00:16:20,668 --> 00:16:23,298

Я потерял силовика, который пытался остановить это.

00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,218

Так много жизней погублено.

00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,378

В таком месте нелегко сохранять спокойствие.

00:16:27,378 --> 00:16:30,008

Даже если бы мы не были узниками инопланетян,

00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:33,098

все равно было бы сложно постоянно находиться вместе.

00:16:33,098 --> 00:16:34,808

Это ежедневный труд.

00:16:34,808 --> 00:16:36,888

Прошу вас, сэр, будьте великодушны.

00:16:36,888 --> 00:16:38,058

Мой отец умирает.

00:16:38,058 --> 00:16:40,858

Дитя, я не монстр.

00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:42,858

Конечно же отец получит свой инсулин.

00:16:42,858 --> 00:16:44,398

Мы должны выжить.

00:16:47,778 --> 00:16:48,988

Как ты мог!

00:16:48,988 --> 00:16:50,028

Уберите их.

00:16:50,028 --> 00:16:52,328

Тут пахнет как в нижней части стены.

00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:58,078

О, интервью с Марком Кубаном! Отлично!

00:16:59,078 --> 00:17:03,548

Сегодня мы возвращаем Корво к великому вседереву

00:17:03,548 --> 00:17:06,258

согласно традициям, как он и хотел бы:

00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:09,428

его раздерут благородные птицы.

00:17:13,178 --> 00:17:14,428

Что я могу сказать о Корво?

00:17:14,428 --> 00:17:17,808

Корво был самым непопулярным человеком в доме

00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:19,898

и пах как цельное молоко,

00:17:19,898 --> 00:17:21,608

но мы все равно будем скучать по нему.

00:17:22,188 --> 00:17:24,398

Извините, я не хотел, чтобы это произошло прямо здесь.

00:17:24,398 --> 00:17:26,568

Я хотел сделать это позже. В ванной.

00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:28,738

Корво постоянно ворчал, но все равно был классным.

00:17:29,738 --> 00:17:31,488

Это было прекрасно.

00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:37,618

- У тебя только одна птица?

- Да, их тяжело поймать.

00:17:44,088 --> 00:17:46,208

Как бы я хотел, чтобы мы пошли на одну из этих глупых вечеринок,

00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:47,958

пока Корво был жив.

00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:49,968

Мы бы могли ему в лицо сказать, как это скучно.

00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,218

Даже если он просто хотел заставить нас

00:17:52,218 --> 00:17:54,138

слушать про скучную починку корабля.

00:17:54,138 --> 00:17:55,678

Было бы здорово, если бы он был тут.

00:17:55,678 --> 00:17:58,388

Именно поэтому, в его честь, я принес его инструкции,

00:17:58,388 --> 00:18:00,518

и прочитаем про то, что он делал на корабле,

00:18:00,518 --> 00:18:02,098

а потом начнем делать это сами.

00:18:02,098 --> 00:18:03,108

Ради Корво.

00:18:03,108 --> 00:18:04,358

Думаю, мы должны сделать это.

00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:08,068

Перестань туда бить.

00:18:08,068 --> 00:18:10,318

Ты жив! Корво! Ты жив! Ты..

00:18:10,318 --> 00:18:11,568

Абсолютно жив!

00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:14,618

Вы купились! Я вас иллюзия-заобманил.

00:18:14,618 --> 00:18:16,908

Иллюзия обмана? Фильм? С Джесси Айзенбергом?

00:18:16,908 --> 00:18:18,328

Он научил меня двум важных вещам.

00:18:18,328 --> 00:18:21,288

Первое: слушая часть трюков - это трата кучи времени и денег

00:18:21,288 --> 00:18:22,498

на то, чтобы обмануть всех.

00:18:22,498 --> 00:18:24,458

- И второе: семья.

- Семья?

00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:26,878

Это все случилось тогда, когда я уехал в Вегас.

00:18:26,878 --> 00:18:29,708

Знаете, мы были четырьмя одинокими фокусниками.

00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,088

А теперь вот что.

00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:32,628

Теперь мы абрака-семья.

00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:35,508

Я понял, что зашел слишком дорого и что вы мне нужны.

00:18:35,508 --> 00:18:38,388

Мы не просто космическая команда, мы семейная команда.

00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:41,178

Именно поэтому я нанял тех фокусников, чтобы они типа захотели убить меня!

00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:42,478

Они все актеры.

00:18:42,478 --> 00:18:44,898

Не говори так! Мне нравились те фокусники!

00:18:44,898 --> 00:18:47,358

Именно поэтому посреди ночи я вложил ложные воспоминания о них

00:18:47,358 --> 00:18:48,648

в ваши головы!

00:18:48,648 --> 00:18:50,318

Терри, мы убили двух из них.

00:18:50,318 --> 00:18:51,738

Я-я уверен, что это тоже трюк.

00:18:51,738 --> 00:18:53,448

Но подожди, как ты инсценировал свою смерть?

00:18:53,448 --> 00:18:55,408

После того, как я посмотрел Иллюзию обмана 2,

00:18:55,408 --> 00:18:57,868

Я прочитал Престиж.

00:18:57,868 --> 00:19:00,448

Корво, которого вы видели, был клоном. Очень хорошим клоном.

00:19:00,448 --> 00:19:04,288

Он думал, это он - это я, и я сделал так, чтобы он чувствовал боль и все такое.

00:19:04,288 --> 00:19:07,338

И это сработало! Вы все подумали, что я мертв, и пришли на мою вечеринку!

00:19:07,338 --> 00:19:08,208

Хороший трюк, верно?

00:19:10,418 --> 00:19:12,878

- О да.

- Классный.

00:19:12,878 --> 00:19:15,468

Корво, это лучший трюк из всех!

00:19:15,468 --> 00:19:17,428

Кто-то еще участвовал в трюке?

00:19:19,348 --> 00:19:23,438

Пупа весь день был картонкой?

00:19:23,438 --> 00:19:24,728

Кто ты вообще такой?

00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,398

Браво, Пупа! Потрясающе!

00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:28,768

Лучший день трюков!

00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,108

Трюки, трюки, трюки!

00:19:31,108 --> 00:19:33,108

Трюки, трюки, трюки!

00:19:33,108 --> 00:19:35,108

Трюки, трюки, трюки!

00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:36,408

Ладно, хватит.

00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:39,328

Итак, лавовый реактор всего состоит из 78 деталей.

00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:41,038

Первая - это воронка пахоэхоэ.

00:19:41,038 --> 00:19:42,538

Она состоит из 72 шунтов.

00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:46,368

Каждое из них нужно аккуратно сдвинуть перед тем, как продолжить.

00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:47,328

Какой остой.

00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:50,878

Энрике, мне так жаль, я не знаю, как это случилось.

00:19:50,878 --> 00:19:52,338

Ты спас меня, Тим.

00:19:52,338 --> 00:19:54,668

Но я не знаю, как я справлюсь без моего мальчика.

00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:56,218

Я-я просто не знаю.

00:19:56,218 --> 00:19:58,508

Попадаешь ли ты в рай, если тебя уменьшили?

00:19:58,508 --> 00:20:00,968

Он умер уменьшенным!

00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,388

Все должно быть иначе.

00:20:05,388 --> 00:20:07,438

Педро не должен был умирать.

00:20:08,058 --> 00:20:10,318

Нужно исправить это место.

00:20:10,318 --> 00:20:12,568

Как один человек может изменить мир?

00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:16,858

Разрушив его.

00:20:16,858 --> 00:20:18,818

- Давай, бемегот, ешь!

- Ну же, ешь, бегемот!

00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,118

Иди к черту, Джесси.

00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,948

- Люблю эту игру.

- Бемеготы!

00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:15,140

Computer, turn off

the mariachi simulación.

00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:19,019

I should hope that you're all going out

to get more Miller L-l-l-lights

00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,562

for Tuesday Taco Night Thing.

00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:23,148

Oh wait, that was tonight?

Aw, I could've sworn that was on Monday.

00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:26,151

It's always on Tuesdays,

and you've missed the last tres.

00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,111

We know you're just trying to trick us

into hanging out with you.

00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,613

No! I'm trying to trick you

into learning about ship repair.

00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:34,868

How many times do we have to ghost on you

before you stop with the taco thing?

00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,536

- Oh, you're coming.

- Nuh-uh.

00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,163

Oh, you're gonna come so hard

you're gonna beg me to stop.

00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,080

Yeah, you wish.

00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,874

We're going to Conner Miller's

birthday party.

00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,376

His mom is rich,

and his dad's trying to be a novelist,

00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,669

so I bet they get in a big fight.

00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:45,879

There's gonna be a magician.

00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:49,299

It'll be my first autograph in my awesome

Magician Autograph Journal!

00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,300

Magic is stupid.

00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,969

Maybe I'll tag along just so I can explain

how he's doing his tricks.

00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,096

Please don't come.

You know, I don't think you'd like it.

00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,765

It has nothing to do

with chores or yelling.

00:00:56,848 --> 00:01:00,060

Um, Korvo, you don't really do well

in a social setting.

00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,394

It's kinda like your thing.

00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,354

Hm, your reverse psychology

has worked, Terry.

00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,107

Nothing will stop me from joining you

at this child's birthday party.

00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,151

- Ahh!

- Yay, Korvo!

00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,201

What a waste of paper.

00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,953

The only good ceremony

involving children is the Jewish one

00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,205

where they cut off the penis.

00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,998

Am I right?

00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,374

Slow down!

00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:31,341

- Just a slow-down ray. No big deal.

- Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic.

00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,134

On the nose much?

00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,470

Magic! Magic!

00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,430

Rabbit was hidden under the table. Dumb.

00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,682

Fake thumb.

00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,851

Foam ball in the armpit.

00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,105

Mouth full of flags.

This is so stupid, anyone could do this.

00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,106

I could do this.

00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,568

I could do this.

00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:54,072

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,532

Until the asteroid hit.

00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,202

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,246

and escaped into, uh, the space,

00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,249

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:07,252

We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,003

That's right,

I've been talking this whole time.

00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,047

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,299

This is-- this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,634

This is ridiculous.

00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,388

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

People are stupid.

00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,848

They're always talking

about how they love their family,

00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,141

but they're never making

their family gigantic.

00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,017

They're all normal sized.

00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,477

If you like something, you should be

trying to make it gigantic.

00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,487

All right, be sure to share.

00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:38,324

Make sure the lower levels get Reese's

and don't hog the Skittles.

00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,742

Yumyulack, I'm heading out.

00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,119

I like to get to school early

00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,163

so I can watch the teachers

drink in the parking lot.

00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,291

Oh hold on. I just want to put my latest

victim, I mean specimen, in there too.

00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,542

Wait, I know her.

00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,336

Is that the lady who puts

her dog's poop in the mailbox?

00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,007

Ugh, I wish. It's just the waitress from

the Benihana over by the strip club.

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,050

Why is she going in the wall?

I thought she was a nice one.

00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,468

I said I didn't want shrimp!

00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,221

If I was allergic, I could have died!

Is that what you want?

00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:03,558

Of course not. I wish everything

lived forever. You know that.

00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,064

Oh my god.

Where the fuck am I?

00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,275

Welcome, citizen.

00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,986

- Hey, hey, get away from me--

- Ahh!

00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:16,988

Whatever you got

in your pockets is ours!

00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,781

Wallet, gum, key metal--

00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,783

She's got Tums! Ow!

00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,163

We could do this the easy way

or the toothpick way.

00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,081

- Your choice.

- This isn't over.

00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,001

Everyone runs out

of fancy toothpicks at some point.

00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,505

Come with me if you want to live.

00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,507

- That's from Predator.

- It's from the Terminator.

00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,801

Oh, crap, really? '

Cause I've been saying that for weeks.

00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,970

- Are you sure?

- I've seen that movie a hundred times.

00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,223

We should go. Ugh, I'm such an idiot.

00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,142

What's up, Korvo?

Do you want to resume, um,

00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,604

correcting any inaccuracies

in the cross-galactic navigation matrix?

00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,980

No, I don't have time to relax.

00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,316

Today we need to find out

how I can be a magician.

00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,651

Isn't magic... lame?

00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,071

If magic is lame, then why do you have

a quarter in your hologram?

00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,823

What? Get the fuck out of here. Wow.

00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:04,285

Exactly. Okay, I need to be the

best magician I can as fast as possible.

00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,496

Is this some sort of emotional arc?

00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:10,041

A magician never reveals his motivations.

Let's get started.

00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,501

Calculating wonder.

00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,545

Done. I'll teach in the form

of Earth's greatest illusionists.

00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:19,926

Houdini, Copperfield, and Mystery,

the pickup artist from The Game.

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:23,596

I can escape anything and neg anyone.

You're not as hot as your friend.

00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,056

Which part is Copperfield?

00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,308

The other

two personalities ate him.

00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,269

Can I please just get

a regular tutorial?

00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,062

Fine. Processing.

00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,982

It seems like you should combine simple

tricks with what you're already great at.

00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,233

- Cooking salmon?

-Ugh.

00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,403

Computer, lower impatience expression

by 25 percent.

00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,822

You should incorporate

advanced technology into your act.

00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,782

Combine alien technology

with sleight of hand,

00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,659

a show like that

would blow people's minds!

00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:47,036

Especially if we served salmon

at intermission.

00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,498

The Duke says you're late

on our Skittle tax.

00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,792

All I could find was a Junior Mint.

00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,253

- Keep walking, don't get involved.

- What the hell is this place?

00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,381

This whole world is a prison

created by alien kids.

00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,050

It's made up of a system

of connected terrariums.

00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,719

Those guys are enforcers.

00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,972

They're part of a martial police

formed by the ruler of the wall.

00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,850

- I'm guessing that's The Duke?

- It's pretty complicated.

00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,977

Is he like The Duke of New York

from Escape from New York?

00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,729

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah,

it's exactly like that.

00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,315

Oh, I forgot about that movie.

Yeah. It's exactly the same.

00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,151

Jesse, the girl alien,

gives us candy and little gifts.

00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,111

And then The Duke hoards

and distributes that,

00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,113

and that's just, you know,

that's how he keeps control.

00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,866

- Yeah, you got it.

- Why is this rope so minty?

00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,995

Because it's floss. We use what we have!

My pants are from a Polly Pocket.

00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,956

Go ahead, pick a card.

00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,877

I will now turn these cards

into 56 different extinct animals.

00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,631

I believe this... is your card.

00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:46,012

Korvo, that was amazing!

When did you become a magician?

00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,598

I've been secretly learning

so you guys would love me!

00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,557

Well, it worked!

00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,976

We should go out for pizza

and talk about how great you are.

00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,519

Hm, no.

00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,521

You know, I thought I learned magic

to get your attention,

00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,023

but that's just not enough anymore.

00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,067

You're all too provincial

and lame for me now.

00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,402

You're intoxicated with fame

off one performance?

00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,320

Yes.

00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,781

But we're not like even, like,

a little provincial.

00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,324

Where's he getting this bullshit?

00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,867

Now that I'm better than you,

I'm going to become

00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,535

the greatest magician of all time,

00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,913

and you will collectively be portrayed

as the first wife

00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,664

who didn't believe in me in my biopic.

00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,083

I always stop the movie at that point,

00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,542

so I assume it goes great

for the protagonist

00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,378

after he cuts ties

with his friends and family.

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,505

Enjoy being left behind!

00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,800

This is just like the time

when I married Ansel Elgort.

00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,718

The little scamp.

He's lucky he got away.

00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,888

I loved him so much.

Ugh, why can't I call him?

00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:32,058

I got you a meeting

with the biggest magician talent scout

00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,184

in the world.

00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:36,729

Ha! She lives in a one-bedroom apartment

above the Wendy's by the train tracks.

00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,816

I'm not ready, I-I don't have

a wand o-or an assistant--

00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,902

I really only needed one of each.

00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,363

How about your next trick

is not complaining for once?

00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,490

Fuck you, computer.

Words can hurt.

00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,285

This is the marketplace.

00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,371

If there's something you need,

you can barter for it here.

00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,414

What do people trade with?

00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,166

Well, mostly whatever they had

in their pockets when they got shrunk.

00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,669

If you had cargo shorts on,

you're basically rich.

00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,381

Suburban dads and lesbian dog walkers

live like kings in here.

00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,007

You know, your hair is pretty valuable.

00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,385

We could probably trade

those bangs in for some Mikes,

00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,679

maybe even an Ike if they're in season.

00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,516

Enrique? Don't eat that.

00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,685

- You know it gives you the sugar shakes.

- Sugar shakes?

00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,937

Yeah, we don't know

the word for diabetes.

00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,147

It's diabetes.

00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,149

Oh yeah. S--I'm sorry.

I'm losing my mind.

00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,817

I haven't had a vegetable in months.

00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,527

Dad, come on, just a sip.

00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,571

Did you find any insulin?

Down at the drop zone?

00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,240

Sorry, man. Everyone who came in

only had breath mints and Chapsticks.

00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,325

Damn. We've got Chapsticks for days!

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,161

Look, we're gonna make it work.

I promise.

00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,413

Your dad is gonna be okay.

00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,623

If this man is diabetic,

why does he keep eating chocolate?

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,500

Well, the only food

they give us is candy.

00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,171

Sometimes they'll drop in an apple

or a cocktail onion, but it's very rare.

00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,548

We have to figure out how to barter

for insulin from The Duke.

00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,008

He can get anything in here.

00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,926

Man, he is really going to town.

00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,888

Dad, stop! You're not even hungry!

00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:56,142

If you thought I was any old magician,

I hate to burst your balloon.

00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:01,856

End of trick.

00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,704

The real magic was in you the whole time.

Now, now clap.

00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,458

- Pass.

- What? W-why?

00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,044

You're less "abra cadabra"

and more "average cadaver."

00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,795

You got no personality, kid.

00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:28,049

I-I-I could try to build a device

that steals other people's charisma

00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,134

and then inject it into my body

like chemotherapy.

00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:34,180

You're a sad blue creep with no hair.

It's not gonna happen.

00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,307

You're a sad blue creep!

00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,852

- What are you, crying?

- I-I'm not crying, you're crying!

00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,444

Well, this is creepy.

00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,905

Yeah, this level is run

by the Bowinian church.

00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,074

It's the religion that worships Jesse,

00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,284

the girl alien who gives us

food and medicine.

00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,327

She's the one with the bow--

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,163

yeah, oh, hey now, that's why

they call it the "Bowinian Church."

00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,749

- Okay, I just got that.

- There's already a whole religion?

00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:03,584

How long have you people been in here?

00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,295

Time moves differently in the wall.

It changes a man.

00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,757

- Wait, the aliens can control time?

- No, no. It's more like a metaphor.

00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,885

Just, look, we eat a lot of candy,

and that makes everything weird.

00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,263

Plus, there's no calendar or clocks.

00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,557

Think of it like Vegas.

Okay, could you just go with it?

00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,141

Okay, geez. It tracks.

00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,811

I'm afraid we have nothing to spare.

00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:25,565

Our insulin is derived from the mold

we grow on old Twizzlers.

00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,149

We only have enough for the flock.

00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,150

That's bullshit!

00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,945

You're afraid The Duke will be pissed

if he thinks you're competing with him!

00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,238

We should just take it.

00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,574

I'll pray for your father.

00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,825

I knew they wouldn't help us.

00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,785

- Religion's such bullshit.

- Wait!

00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,995

- Take this.

- What is it?

00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,249

It's a Slim Jim. It's barely two snaps

long, but it's gotta be worth something.

00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,167

Use it to trade for what you seek.

00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,212

Oh, I-I shouldn't be here.

May the bow be with you.

00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,882

Protein is like gold in here.

But is this enough for The Duke?

00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,385

No, but I know

what we can trade it for.

00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,515

Tricks aren't enough,

I have to be likable? That's impossible!

00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,350

I wish I'd never learned magic!

00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:05,438

- Ta-dah!

- Yo!trash magic!

00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,648

And the bouquet that turns into doves!

00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,525

That then turn into pterodactyls!

00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,446

Ta-dah!

00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:18,034

I-I usually only post breastfeeding

reaction videos, but this is sick.

00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,535

Ta-dah!

00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,663

Ta-dah!

Ta-dah!

00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,206

Ta-dah!

00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,250

Ta-dah!

Ta-dah!

00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,085

Ta-dah! Ta-dah!

00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,420

Ta-dah!

00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,094

Okay, this is so amazing,

I can't believe it.

00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,930

Our next guest is,

he's so great, he's so great,

00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,851

please welcome

"The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man!"

00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,939

I wanted to be on Kimmel.

00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,659

Tomorrow night,

the Vegas Vegas Casino is proud

00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:04,205

to present The Incredible

Burn Victim Trash Man!

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:08,334

Featuring the most dangerous trick

00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,420

leaping through a black hole!

00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:17,259

How will he survive the gravimetric forces

as they rip his atomic structure asunder?

00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:21,222

We're going to Vegas tomorrow

to see Korvo do tricks!

00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:24,684

I'll finally see the city of sin!

Yay, sin!

00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,811

I'm gonna bet it all at Circus Circus!

00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,312

And I'm gonna rescue a sex worker!

00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,106

Aw, she's never gonna have sex again.

00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,941

Or he!

00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:32,858

Greetings.

00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:36,278

I am world renowned magician

Wilkins Micawber.

00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,406

I'm as famous as a magician can get,

00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:42,493

think the third Hemsworth brother,

as are my mysterious compatriots.

00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:45,955

We are here to parlay with

The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man.

00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,082

- Where hence ye?

- He's practicing his act upstairs.

00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:49,834

Nobody's supposed to interrupt him.

00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,586

I thought I smelled the stench

of lesser magicians.

00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,756

Listen, listen, listen.

You can't do this black hole trick.

00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,552

- It's too amazing!

- If you survive, our careers die.

00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,220

I do what I want, leave me alone!

00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,266

I didn't get their autographs!

00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,102

The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man

left us no choice.

00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,896

Now I know murder is frowned upon

by magic law,

00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,483

but I love weed and prostitutes.

So I need that money.

00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,529

We'll make sure this is

his grand finale. Of life.

00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,703

Oh, now I'll never get their autographs.

And they're gonna kill Korvo!

00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,955

Pretty convenient I came out here.

00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,500

What is your deal today, Pupa?

00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,715

Eh, you don't toss around a Slim Jim

like this unless you mean business.

00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,550

We need your Playboy.

We know you have it.

00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,679

Have you lost your mind?

It's the Girls of the Pac 10.

00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,849

That would cost at least,

uh, 20 snaps per Pac.

00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,642

Come on, man!

00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,895

Hey, I'm sorry,

but I can't make the trade.

00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:54,356

It's one of the only pieces

of reading material that made it in here.

00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,858

Plus titties, you know.

00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,527

Sorry, dude, but I need that Playboy!

00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,987

- Pedro! What the hell?

- I got it.

00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,030

Go!

00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,157

Help! I'm being robbed!

00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,288

Ahh!

00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,749

Ahh!

00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,796

Benihana, bitch.

00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,343

Mr. Korvo,

could you explain exactly

00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,385

what we're looking at here?

00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,889

It's a Quantum Ring, a black hole I

built out of pieces from my space cruiser.

00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,974

You kind of have to know a lot

about physics to understand--

00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,018

- Looks like a Stargate.

- What's a Stargate?

00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,229

It's what this is,

and the fourth best Kurt Russell movie.

00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,398

Then today I will be Kurt Russell,

by diving through the black hole.

00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,401

If I hit it at just the right angle,

I should pass through unharmed.

00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,905

If I'm even a millimeter off,

I die and maybe time implodes,

00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:43,948

I'm not sure about that last part.

00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:48,035

So either it's a great show

or I no longer have to pay my alimony.

00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,079

I hate that woman.

00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,541

This is Ted Johnson,

reporting from backstage at a magic show.

00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,084

Yeah, definitely a Stargate.

00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,544

Oh, oh, oh--

00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,880

Korvo, you're in trouble!

A-and we came to warn you!

00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,298

But you stopped to get t-shirts.

00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,384

It was in case

we got separated in the crowd!

00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,345

Magicians are gonna kill you

before you do your big trick!

00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,305

Oh, hm, I see what this is.

00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,516

You got jealous and now you want

to be part of my show.

00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,726

You all had your chance

to show me you appreciated me

00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,770

by coming to my Tuesday Night Taco Thing,

00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,939

but instead I had to throw

all the tacos away.

00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,400

- Remember that? From earlier?

- No, that was like a million years ago.

00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,776

You can't still be mad at that.

00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,654

Security, I don't know these people.

Get them out of here!

00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,406

They're gonna do a murder on you!

00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,199

I don't need you! This is my arc!

00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,702

Wow, what did you do?

00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,037

I don't know, I kicked him

in that thing people have.

00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,039

We gotta split up

and find those magic murderers.

00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,835

And where did all those cards go?

00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:42,214

I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised

during your first bowel movement tomorrow.

00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:44,383

Oh.

00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:47,386

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

my final trick of the night!

00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:52,808

I will be the first magician in history

to jump through a black hole!

00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,145

There they are!

00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:08,657

Uhh--

00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:13,245

Oh my god, wow, Yumyulack,

you just cut those guys' throats.

00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,457

You just ended two human lives.

That’s crazy.

00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,043

But you were doing it to save

Korvo's life, man. So it's okay.

00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,586

Yeah, it's okay. We're good, we're good.

00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,681

Oh god, he's dead! My Korvy!

00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:38,687

No!

00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,483

No!

00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,577

Welcome to my humble abode.

00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,663

I'm The Duke. The ruler of shadows.

00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,415

The main vein. The big boy.

The top puppy.

00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,627

My guards tell me you're interested

in a swap of some kind?

00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,547

Girls of the Pac 10!

00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,093

- What can I trade you for?

- We need insulin. My dad is dying.

00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,595

I'd be crazy not to take that deal.

00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,764

Hey, get some sugar shots

for my friends here!

00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,557

Thank you so much!

00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,852

Oh, I heard about the riot

you caused on level two.

00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:23,148

You know, it spread to three levels?

I lost an enforcer trying to shut it down.

00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,025

A lot of lives lost for that stunt.

00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,361

It's not easy keeping the peace

in a place like this.

00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,697

Even if we weren't the prisoners

of two alien children,

00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:32,992

it would be hard being this close

to each other all the time.

00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,787

- It's a daily struggle.

- Please. sir. I beg you to be generous.

00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:40,749

- My dad is dying.

- Oh kid, I'm not a monster.

00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,378

Of course your dad can have his insulin.

Our job is to survive.

00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,009

- You didn't have to do that!

- Get them out of here.

00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,302

It's starting to smell like low wall.

00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:58,058

Oh, an interview with Mark Cuban! Score!

00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:03,522

Today, we give Korvo back

to the great all tree,

00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:06,150

in the traditional way

00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,403

ripped apart by noble birds.

00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,408

What can I say about Korvo?

00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,703

Korvo was easily

the least popular person in the house

00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:21,582

and he smelled like whole milk,

but we're still gonna miss him.

00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,293

I'm sorry, I-I didn't want

to do it right here.

00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,462

I wanted to do it later. In a bathroom.

00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:29,089

Korvo was mean,

and being mean is tight.

00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,467

That was beautiful.

00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,598

- You only got one bird?

- Yeah, they're hard to catch. Geez.

00:17:43,687 --> 00:17:46,565

Man, I just wish we had gone

to one of these stupid parties

00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,858

when Korvo was alive, you know.

00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,943

We could've told him

how boring this was to his face.

00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,112

Yeah, even though it was clear

that he just wanted to trick us

00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,031

into listening to boring

ship repair stuff,

00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,657

it would have been nice

to have him around.

00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,285

That's why, in his honor,

I have brought down his manuals,

00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,496

and we are gonna read about the work

he did on the ship

00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,997

and start doing it ourselves.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,374

- For Korvo.

- I guess we have to do that now.

00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,793

Ta-daaaa!

00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,045

You have to stop kicking there.

00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,214

You're alive! Oh, Korvo,

y-you're alive! You're--

00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:14,510

Alive like a fox! And you all fell for it!

I Now You See Me'd you!!

00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,804

Now You See Me? The movie?

With Jesse Eisenberg? Ugh.

00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,138

It taught me two important things.

00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:21,183

the best part of any magic trick

is spending a ton of time and money

00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,392

setting up an elaborate lie.

00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,353

family.

- Family?

00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,855

It all happened

when I ditched you guys for Vegas...

00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,190

Yeah, you know, we were just

00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,984

four lonely magicians.

And then presto.

00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,694

Now we're abraca-family.

00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,489

I realized I'd gone too far

and I needed you guys.

00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:38,367

We're not just a space team,

we're also a family team.

00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,161

Which is why I had to hire

those magicians to pretend to kill me!

00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,579

They're all out-of-work actors.

00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,873

Don't say that!

I love those magicians!

00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,334

That's because in the middle

of the night, I planted false memories

00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,627

of them in all of your heads!

00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,212

Terry, we killed two of those guys.

00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,672

I-I'm sure that was just

part of the trick.

00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,423

But wait, how did you fake your death?

00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,259

After I was finished

with Now You See Me 2,

00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,678

I read the novelization of The Prestige.

00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,430

The Korvo you saw die was a clone.

A really good one too.

00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,268

He thought he was me, and I made sure

he could feel pain and-and all that stuff.

00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,229

And it worked! You all totally thought

I was dead and came to my party!

00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,814

Good trick, right?

00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,860

- Oh yeah.

- Amazing.

00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:17,406

Korvo, that was the best trick ever!

Was anyone else doing a trick?

00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:24,621

The Pupa was a cardboard cutout all day?

Who even are you?

00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,290

- Ta-da!

- Bravo, Pupa! Amazing!

00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:28,667

Best day of tricks ever!

00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,005

Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!

00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:36,383

- Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!

- All right, enough!

00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:39,219

Now, there are 78 parts

of the lavatic reactor.

00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,514

The first is the Pahoehoe funnel.

It has 72 shunts.

00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:46,268

Each shunt must be gently jostled

before you can proceed--

00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,769

Well, this sucks.

00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,856

Enrique, I'm so sorry,

I don't know how this happened.

00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:54,568

You saved me, Tim. But I don't know

how I'll go on without my boy.

00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:58,405

I-I-I just don't know.

Do you go to heaven if you die small?

00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,949

He died small!

00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,287

It doesn't have to be this way.

00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,414

Pedro didn't have to die.

00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:12,544

- I have to fix this place.

- How can one person change the world?

00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,798

By tearing it down.

00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:17,799

Come on!

Come on, hippo.

00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:18,967

- Eat, eat!

- Come on, eat it, hippo

00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,010

Fuck you, Jesse.

00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,929

- I love this game.

- Hippos!

00:00:15,911 --> 00:00:30,634

ЭТО ЛОВУШКА

00:00:45,857 --> 00:00:48,943

ФОКУСНИКИ

ИЮЛЬ-ДЕКАБРЬ

00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,095

С МАГИЧЕСКИМ ДНЁМ РОЖДЕНИЯ, КОННЕР!

00:02:06,855 --> 00:02:24,498

ПРОДАНО

00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:08,458

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В ПУСТОШИ

00:03:16,132 --> 00:03:20,804

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В ПУСТОШИ

00:04:57,150 --> 00:05:08,036

МИЛОСТЬ ГЕРЦОГА - ЧЕСТЬ ДЛЯ НАС

00:06:51,306 --> 00:06:53,391

РЫНОК

00:06:58,354 --> 00:06:59,689

КОФЕ

ЕДА

00:06:59,689 --> 00:07:04,652

СЛАДОСТИ

ОДЕЖДА

00:07:04,652 --> 00:07:07,071

ОПАСНАЯ ХРЕНЬ

СПИЧКИ

00:10:17,219 --> 00:10:19,096

ОБГОРЕЛЫЙ ЧУВАК/ВОЛАН-ДЕ-МОРТ

МУСОРНАЯ МАГИЯ

00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:20,765

ВОЙНА В ЗВЁЗДАХ

00:10:20,765 --> 00:10:21,557

ПОДЕЛИТЬСЯ

00:10:33,944 --> 00:10:36,113

НЬЮ-ЙОРК

ДЖИММИ ФЕЛЛОН

00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,962

НЕВЕРОЯТНЫЙ ОБГОРЕЛЫЙ МУСОРНЫЙ ЧУВАК

00:10:57,301 --> 00:10:58,386

КАДАБРА

00:10:58,386 --> 00:10:59,428

ФОКУСЫ С ВОЗДУШНЫМИ ШАРАМИ

00:10:59,428 --> 00:11:00,262

"ИЛЛЮЗИИ"

ШОУ ПОГОРЕЛЬЦА

00:12:32,938 --> 00:12:37,735

СЛАДОСТИ ПО СКИДКЕ

ОСТРЫЕ ПАЛКИ

00:13:58,190 --> 00:14:03,404

ОБГОРЕЛЫЙ МУСОРНЫЙ ЧУВАК

00:14:34,852 --> 00:14:37,855

НЕВЕРОЯТНЫЙ ОБГОРЕЛЫЙ МУСОРНЫЙ ЧУВАК

00:18:24,456 --> 00:18:26,875

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В ЛАС-ВЕГАС

00:05:01,153 --> 00:05:03,103

Милость Герцога - наша награда

00:10:18,053 --> 00:10:21,553

Инста-блам: Обгоревший мусорный маг - приспешник Волан-де-Морта

00:14:34,813 --> 00:14:37,853

Удивительный обгоревший парень с помойки - распродано