Лавовый реактор

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Do you know why you're here?

00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:11,094

It's probably 'cause Yumyulack

did something to get us in trouble,

00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,387

as per "uush."

00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:15,056

Oh, you mean something awesome

you tattle on me for?

00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,059

- I'm no snitch!

- Then why are you getting stitches?

00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,936

[both arguing]

00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,104

Oh my God, shut up!

00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,523

You both ruined the school year

with your weird science.

00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,067

You trapped the chess team

in an alternative dimension,

00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,361

reanimated all the fetal pigs,

and we can't prove this,

00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:32,198

but we're reasonably confident that

you gave Miss Kim a three-month period

00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,825

after she took away your glowing orb.

00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,535

- Snitch!

- Not today!

00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:36,911

- Die! Die! Die!

- No, you don't. No, you don't.

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Yumyulack, out of 180 days

of school this year,

00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,584

you've been late 179 times.

00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,170

And Jesse, you've been late three times.

00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,714

- I'm a monster!

- It's true, she is.

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If either of you are ever late

or miss class ever again,

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then you will be expelled.

00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,221

Which means

you'll have to go to military school,

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where the bullies will fuck you.

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And they make you shave your head.

00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:05,648

- But my hair defines me.

- Then don't fuck up!

00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,485

[door closes]

00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,528

Oh, it's so hot when you yell at children.

00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,156

I dump a Dixie cup worth

of fuck juice in my pants

00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,325

every time you put something

on their permanent record.

00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,786

Oh, that shit follows them to college.

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Brace yourself. I saw this on Starz.

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Oh, what the fu--!

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KORVO:

Terry, a-a little help.

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[Terry sighs]

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Really,

you're too lazy to even look at me?

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Ohh, I'm limiting myself

to three neck movements a day.

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I only got one left.

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We need to re-facet the dorsal prism,

the lavatic reactor needs more Aa,

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and you paired your phone

to the ship stereo

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and I don't know how to get it off.

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If I have to listen to the "Gone

in 60 Seconds" soundtrack one more time--

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Oh man, you know I'm too dumb to help.

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Just zap yourself with the smart ray.

It takes one second.

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Hard pass. Smart people are sad.

Wait. Wh-what are you doing?

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Terry, get back here.

Let me shoot you with the smart ray.

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[electricity zaps]

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- Ha ha!

- Terry!

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I didn't know it would break that easy.

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Hey, can you please trap Jesse

in the hell dimension? She sucks ass.

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No. That dimension is for work enemies

and Ansel Elgort only.

00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,456

And for trash when we forget

to put the bin out.

00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,999

Yumyulack got us in trouble again.

00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,418

And they for sure figured out

that shit with the orb.

00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,921

Can I just quit school?

What does it matter anyway?

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The Pupa is gonna evolve into

its true form and destroy this planet.

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Can't I just watch TV until that happens?

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- Pepsi.

- L-look, this thing is unpredictable.

00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,471

It could go off in a week or in a year.

00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,390

It just said "Pepsi."

Who knows what's going on with it.

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Goddammit, Terry, you're supposed

to know. You're the Pupa specialist.

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- Whatever.

- All right, you two, listen,

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school is important

and it makes you smart,

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and being smart is more important

than anything else ever.

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Counterpoint: Korvo's stupid.

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School is important 'cause it's super-fun

and the stakes are super-low

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and there's tons of hot people there

who want to party-slash-do finger stuff.

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Wait, Terry, you like school?

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Heck yeah, dum-dums, school rules!

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Really? You know,

we could go to school too.

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Ah, I wish.

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There is a school for adults

behind the cement factory, Terry.

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- There is?

- Yes, we could go there.

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We could get smart

and compete for the teacher's approval.

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Or we could meet cool girls, join a frat,

and never work on the ship.

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Or you could learn responsibility,

become a better person,

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and help me with the ship.

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Terry and Korvo, going to school

for the exact same reasons.

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KORVO:

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

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Until the asteroid hit.

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One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

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and escaped into, uh, the space,

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searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

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We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

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That's right,

I've been talking this whole time.

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I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

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This is-- this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

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[stammers]

This is ridiculous.

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I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

People are stupid.

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The second you point out

Christ was an alien,

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they get all wound up

and start yelling at you,

00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,043

even though he did a bunch of alien stuff.

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Get with it. It's-- it's no big duh.

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♪

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Hey, do I look cool?

I think I look cool.

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- First day of school, baby. Whoo!

- Terry, stop acting like a spaz

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and just be cool like me.

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- Spooky robes are not cool.

- You're just jealous of my swish.

00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,188

[robe swishing]

00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,023

[quietly]

God, that's so fucking cool.

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This is gonna be good for you, Terry.

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Maybe this will stop you

from being lazy all the time.

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You know, I'm not gonna

even respond to that

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because I'm too lazy

to think of a response.

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Then why in God's name are you

so excited to be at the school?

00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492

Because I love classic college movies,

00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,662

like "Monsters University,"

"PCU," and "The Skulls."

00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,206

My plan is to do cool movie stuff

and then just cheat off you

00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,249

at the end of the semester.

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,751

You know, you need to learn to not take

shortcuts all the time, Terry.

00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,962

How's that for me teeing up

an episode arc for your character?

00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,089

You're the one who wanted me

to zap myself with the smart gun.

00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,549

Now that's an example of an appropriate

use of corner cutting, and I'll te--

00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,551

No, I won the argument.

Better hurry or you're gonna be late.

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And then you'll have

to take a shortcut to class,

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- and I know how much you hate those.

-[school bell ringing]

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I like my notes in blue ink!

00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,022

Make way for my peep, beggar!

00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,275

- Not so fast!

-[grunts]

00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,694

- Get his bag.

- SONNY: What the hell?

00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,990

- Well, this is interesting.

- That belongs to The Duke.

00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,659

- Not anymore.

- You're dead! You're all dead!

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Like my son, you tiny bastard!

00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,496

- No! We don't kill.

-[Sonny gagging]

00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:51,749

That's what separates us

from the people that do kill.

00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,668

We don't-- We do the opposite

of what they do.

00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,378

In terms of killing, we don't.

00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,504

- Got it?

-[grunts]

00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,632

JESSE: [voice echoing] Hello!

00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,803

- Fellow students, teachers, anyone?

- Today's been a great day.

00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,763

No one's called me a "gay-lien,"

00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,390

and I didn't have to hide in the bathroom

and pretend to have a butthole.

00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,851

- Yeah, because nobody's here.

- Wait, what?

00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,229

Oh my God. I didn't even notice.

What the hell?

00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,231

I think we're being tested.

00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,693

Principal Cooke is trying to see

if we'll be late or go to class

00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,445

even when nobody's watching us.

00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:24,532

This must be what summer school is.

An intense psychological mind game,

00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,368

not unlike the Academy award-winning film

"Suicide Squad."

00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,788

- So don't get in my way!

- You don't get in my way, buster.

00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,416

This is about to be

the most epic challenge of our lives.

00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,917

I don't want you messing me up.

00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,086

[ringing]

00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,965

♪ ominous music playing ♪

00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,010

[school bell rings]

00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,346

-[crunching]

-[slurping]

00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,223

[school bell rings]

00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,143

[shoes squeaking]

00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,774

His name was Charles Paulson Ginsburg,

00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:02,320

but you may know him as the father

of the video cassette recorder.

00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,822

I know him as the father of me.

00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:05,865

[laughs]

00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,910

Kegger at my place tonight.

Real college experience.

00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,245

Beers and shots and we might

even steal a police horse.

00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,705

I'd have to get a baby-sitter.

00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,375

Well, bring them kids, girl.

We don't ID at Casa de Terry's.

00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,334

Terry, shut up.

00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,961

Delores, you gonna come

and get tore up at my party?

00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,256

I have to go home and watch "NCIS."

00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,257

This sucks.

00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,511

No one's appreciated or even mentioned

that I'm dressed exactly like Van Wilder,

00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,637

you know, the mentor of Taj.

00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,015

- Will you please pay attention?

- That's your job. Mine is to be awesome.

00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,767

I just missed what the C in VCR means.

00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,560

- It could mean anything.

- Man, this is bullshit.

00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,396

College is supposed to be

about partying all night

00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,439

and getting into legal trouble

but my dad's a lawyer,

00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,316

so I'm walking away scot-free.

00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,026

Guess I have to step up my game.

00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,489

Ohh! Hey, hey, whoa, look out!

Hey, I'm the Frisbee guy.

00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,866

Now let's say

I have to repair a DVD player.

00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,620

- Is that the same as the VCR?

- Ohh, I wish I knew it.

00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,206

Terry, stop it. Nobody likes Frisbee.

You look like an idiot.

00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,542

Hey, does the Frisbee match the drapes?

00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,502

I don't know, do you have

the balls to find out?

00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,879

♪ hard rock music playing ♪

00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,006

♪

00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,591

♪

00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,177

Thank God we got the mattress

with the fabric-encased coils.

00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,221

Otherwise, I'd be bouncing

all over the place.

00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,725

Class is starting soon, Terry.

Were you out all night partying again?

00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,145

Oh yeah, I was out all night

looking for a party.

00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,188

Rumor had it the swim team

was raging at The Rock

00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,857

but it was just two homeless guys dancing.

00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,651

Ugh. So Jesse, Yumyulack,

how's school going for you two?

00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,612

I'm in the middle of this

complicated psychological test

00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,282

not unlike the Academy award-wining film

"Suicide Squad."

00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,201

Yeah. And none of the teachers are there

to tell us what to do.

00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,828

I'm sure that's all part of the test.

00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,830

Probably just trying to get you

to think outside the box.

00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,623

Oh, oh, oh, I don't mean

to live más right now

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,125

but instead of thinking outside the box,

00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,877

maybe they should be thinking

outside the--

00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,631

Saying this goes against every fiber

of my brotherness,

00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,966

but you know what we have to do.

00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:47,884

Knife fight!

00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,844

No, we can't hate each other

like siblings.

00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:54,515

We have to hate each other academically.

We have to be each other's teachers.

00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,268

Well, then look to your left

and look to your right, motherfucker,

00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,729

'cause I'm about to matriculate your ass.

00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,940

Do you realize what this is?

This has The Duke's whole empire.

00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,776

Food caches, secret passages, and ugh,

00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,404

he has his own personal '50s diner

called Bop Bops.

00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,157

We can empty the stockpile

and redistribute to the rest of the wall.

00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,951

And nobody will know it was us.

It's the perfect crime.

00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,703

Just like in "Ocean's Thirteen."

00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,872

It's Elliott Gould's best work

since the '70s.

00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:21,209

Guys, he was also great on "Friends."

00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,002

[school bell rings]

00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,046

Everyone, sit down and shut up,

00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,508

or I swear to God I'll have you

back on the streets before lunch.

00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,760

I am gonna get real with you.

00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,847

I bet you didn't know

Shakespeare was the original rapper.

00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,641

Oh, did Shakespeare live

on Sedgwick Avenue

00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:39,560

with DJ Kool Herc in the Bronx

five years before the Son of Sam?

00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,271

Yeah, sure, that's why

Shakespeare's writing is like rap.

00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,565

Plus he made a bunch of money

and sampled other playwrights

00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,608

without giving them any credit.

00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,027

- This makes me like Shakespeare.

- Of course it does.

00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:52,114

My tough-yet-relatable teaching style

is breaking through your emotional armor.

00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,032

And how.

00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,955

♪ drumline music playing ♪

00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,083

- Aah!

-[crashing]

00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:05,127

Terry, I'm trying to study,

which is what you should be doing.

00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,089

I am. I'm studying how to get into

a drumline, like in that movie "Whiplash."

00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,466

Do you have any idea what happens

if you fail out of school, Terry?

00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,802

I assume it's some type

of spanking situation.

00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,637

No, I thought school would give you

some discipline.

00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,682

Instead, you've left me no other choice.

If you fail, no more TV,

00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:21,352

no more video games, and no more Hulu,

the subscription-based service.

00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,020

But Netflix doesn't have

the Hulu production

00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,481

of the Hulu presentation

of "The Looming Tower."

00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,234

How do I know what happens

about "The Looming Tower," Korvo.

00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,360

That's the only way you'll learn.

00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,612

Can't you just make me glasses that

allow me to see through people's bodies

00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,655

so I can cheat off of them.

00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,490

Obviously yes,

but not in time for the test.

00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,784

Wait, no, I-I'm not helping you

cut corners anymore.

00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,579

You have to do this on your own.

That's that arc popping its head up again.

00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,497

Argh! Okay. Fine.

00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,332

I'll go get my books.

00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:46,043

Dammit, I can't even shoot myself

with the smart ray.

00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,545

What am I gonna do?

00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,130

Pupa, you know you can't play

with the dumb ray.

00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,925

If you shoot anyone,

they'll become... super dumb and fun.

00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,302

Like me.

00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,138

Hah! This human math

is honestly very easy.

00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,307

They haven't even found the number

that comes before zero.

00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,934

- What are you doing with the dumb ray?

- I'm holding it.

00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,519

Get dumb, motherfucker.

00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,438

Terry, we're only supposed

to use that in emergencies,

00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,522

when we're overthinking things.

00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,648

That's what's happening right now.

00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,151

Please don't make me dumb. None of

my podcasts are gonna make any sense.

00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,902

If you're dumb and I'm dumb,

then we can be dumb together.

00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,529

But that plan is dumb.

00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:14,488

[grunts]

Ow!

00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,533

Oh my gosh, Korvo. Are you okay?

00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,120

[zapping]

00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,959

-[Korvo moaning]

- Hey, bud, how you feeling?

00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,044

Are you dumb now?

00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,130

I wanna watch the "Look Who's Talking"

trilogy and eat hot dogs with ketchup.

00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,590

Yeah! Dab it!

00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:36,052

♪

00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,970

I love getting beer in my body

as fast as I can.

00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,096

Preaching to the choir, bro.

00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,015

Do you wanna buy everything

on the McDonald's menu

00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,391

and smoosh it together into a big ball

00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,018

and then eat it with a knife

and fork with me?

00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,646

Yes, a million times, yes.

00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,691

2Pac is like oxygen

because we need him to live,

00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,652

while Sisqo is more like plutonium

00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,779

because he was kinda just

a one-hit wonder

00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,238

that we've forgotten about.

00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,575

Wow, I never realized that

every school subject is basically rap.

00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,370

That's the most rap thing

you've said all day.

00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:03,412

- A plus.

-[school bell rings]

00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,831

Oh crap. We're running out of time.

It's my turn. Teach me now.

00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:09,251

Well, welcome to English 101.

Everyone, pick up your textbook.

00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:13,130

Now throw it out! We won't be needing it.

I teach from the heart.

00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,090

[Jesse grunts]

00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,925

Wait. Actually, go grab it from the trash.

00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,594

Yeah, we're gonna rely heavily

on the text.

00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,389

- Now throw it out!

- Oh, come on!

00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,640

KORVO:

Rager at our place.

00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:26,102

Party starts at triple question marks

and goes till 2:00 a.m.

00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,269

We have a hard out.

00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,980

♪

00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,440

[scratching]

00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,738

[grunting]

00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,663

[grunting and panting]

00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,164

Grab onto here. Hold here.

00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,624

Spider! Nobody move.

00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:49,959

[growling]

00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,047

Fuck you, spider.

00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,261

♪ hip-hop music playing ♪

00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,596

Ugh, why did we start the party

at triple question mark?

00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,931

People have been rolling in all day.

00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,516

Who wants to see me smash this bottle.

00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,559

-[all cheering]

-[bottle shatters]

00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,977

Yeah!

00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,730

Touch my robes.

Someone touch my fucking robes.

00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,566

Okay, I got a 95, you got a 33.

00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:16,652

Ah, we passed, and we were

at school every single day.

00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,155

- Yeah, we did it!

- Yay!

00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:23,743

I said we were here every day!

00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,704

Hey, we did it.

You can come out now.

00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,956

What are you waiting for?

00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,542

Huh. You'd think they'd be raring

to get out here.

00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,211

Unless nobody's been watching us

00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,422

and when they said we couldn't miss

a day of school,

00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,215

they meant when everyone else

was here too.

00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,926

So we got along this whole time

for no reason?

00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,012

I guess so. So, now what?

00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,472

You wanna trash the school

with sci-fi stuff?

00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,389

Fuck yeah.

00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,141

[laughing]

Hey, watch out!

00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,186

♪ hard rock music playing ♪

00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,188

♪

00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,564

- YUMYULACK: Ooh, yeah. Whoo!

- JESSE: Yeah!

00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,150

[laughs]

00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,695

All right, one of us has

to attach this to the door

00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,238

and get away before it detonates.

00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,783

I've been practicing avoiding explosions

in my free time,

00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,201

- so I think I can pull it off.

- No.

00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:09,622

In the before-fore, I was

a 7-Eleven employee. A really bad one.

00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,291

I was mean to everyone, and I used

to piss in the Slurpee machine.

00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,628

But things are different in here.

In here, I can die a hero.

00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,754

Bryson, I just told you.

00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,506

Nobody has to die,

because I think I can jump away

00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,841

- well before the explosion--

- Blaze of glory!

00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,301

TIM: Oh shit.

00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:23,511

- Run! Run, Bryson!

- CHERIE: Bryson, run!

00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,012

- No! There's no time.

-[beeping]

00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,015

Oh, okay. Actually, there may--

00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,016

- Aah!

- Bryson!

00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,771

Holy shit!

00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,481

Ah. I'm alive.

00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,816

But I'm blind.

00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,275

You should have run.

Why didn't you run?

00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:43,781

Oh no, my dick got blown off.

I'm blind and I have no dick.

00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,658

- Oh.

- Uh--

00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,701

Please, just leave.

00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,996

I'm blind and I have no dick.

00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,290

Hey, I found it.

00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,544

It was there all along.

Just lower than I thought.

00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:59,213

Check this out, Terry. Watch.

00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,965

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't you always tell me

00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,591

that pressing buttons on the ship

can be dangerous?

00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,385

Don't be a little beeyatch.

00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,471

[screaming]

00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:12,059

- See, it's fine.

- Man, I love dumb Korvo.

00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,019

Dude, Korvo, get over here

and snort this with us.

00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,856

Oink-oink, mother-fuckah!

00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,487

[electricity crackling]

00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,534

[screams]

Ice lava.

00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,869

It's freezing.

00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,787

Oh my God and then it burns.

00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,251

[people screaming]

00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,422

- JESSE: Ha ha, stop.

-[laser beams firing]

00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,757

Don't laser me. That tickles.

00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,010

- Oh, I got you now.

-[both scream]

00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,973

- Did we make ice lava?

- I don't know. Maybe.

00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,016

- Ohh!

- You're it.

00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,059

No fair. I was distracted.

00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,519

[both laughing]

00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,520

Korvo, what do we do?

00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,898

The hot cold lava that powers the ship

is getting on everyone.

00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,608

Don't worry, I know what to do.

00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:01,692

[grunts]

00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,485

I'm boning an alien, bro.

00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,280

Stop being dumb. You're the only one

who knows about ice lava.

00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,364

Terry, I know how to fix it.

00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,075

We just kick back

and watch some movie trilogies.

00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,869

Th-this whole thing

will sort itself out on its own.

00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,621

We don't have time for even one trilogy.

00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:14,997

Ugh. Who would have thought

cutting corners

00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,415

and making you dumb

would blow up like this.

00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,876

Maybe the second "Matrix" movie

will help. They're better out of order.

00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,419

Maybe if I can learn

how to fix the smart gun,

00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,171

I can zap you back

into fixing the ship.

00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,673

[loudly]

Stay here. I will make you smart again.

00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,926

Hey, just 'cause I'm dumb

doesn't mean that I'm deaf.

00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,179

Come on. Come on.

00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,723

Ah, yes. Hey, the manual isn't too big.

00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,016

Aah! Ah, crap.

00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,976

Okay, Terry, you can do this.

00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,062

Focus. Learn. Be smart.

00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,814

KORVO: Damn, Morpheus, how'd you get

those motherfucking sunglasses

00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:41,815

to stick to your face?

00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,026

Ooh, I gotta see that. No! No!

00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,361

Focus.

00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,656

Ooh!

Once you know how to reroute the lava--

00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,325

Check it out, Terry,

I'm a fucking Morpheus now.

00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,451

Watch out.

00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,204

I think we should invest in a racehorse

because I want to go to Kentucky

00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,205

and wear a big old hat,

00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,915

and also I've got a great name

for a racehorse.

00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,708

Get ready. Horseus.

00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,876

From the thing

we were just talking about--

00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:01,961

Will you shut the hell up?

00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,629

I'm never gonna learn

how to repair the smart gun.

00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,756

I'm only one chapter past

the lavatic reactor.

00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,549

[gasps]

Oh, holy crapsters.

00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,970

I accidentally learned how to repair

the lavatic reactor.

00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,848

I just want you to know

if I don't make it out of this,

00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,977

it has been the great honor of my life

to come to Earth with you.

00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,478

Korvo, I love you--

00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,897

I'm gonna go hit a bullet

with a hammer, Terry. U-S-A!

00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,649

U-S-A! U-S-A!

00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,026

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,779

♪

00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,421

♪

00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,134

Holy shit. I think I fixed it.

00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,636

I actually did something

without taking a shortcut.

00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,846

W-w-what are you doing?

00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,556

Hey, whoa, whoa, I thought

you were sending signals.

00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,599

What? No. Man, when does

the dumb ray wear off?

00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,560

- I want White Castle.

- Is this what I sound like all the time?

00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,395

Whoa, Terry, let's watch

all the "Resident Evils."

00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,354

Yeah, that's me.

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:04,273

-[both moaning]

- Oh yes.

00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,066

God, I love the last week

of summer break.

00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,360

This place is so nice

when the kids are gone.

00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,821

After this, let's do reverse cowgirl

in the theater.

00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,364

Then we're ass-eating in the chem lab.

00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,033

But I'm wearing open-toed sandals.

00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,325

-[both laughing]

-[Ms. Frankie yelps]

00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,286

- Whoo!

- What the fuck are you doing here?

00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,288

[both wailing]

00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,041

- Oh no!

- We did what you said.

00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,252

We've been in our chairs

every day at 7 a.m.

00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,879

How long have you been here on your own?

00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,173

- We're good students. We did--

- We were never late. We were on time.

00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,758

Mercy. Show us mercy.

00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,092

Go wait outside.

00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,930

What the fuck is wrong with those two?

I don't care if they like each other.

00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:40,350

We didn't tell them to come in all summer!

This is clearly abuse.

00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,895

Maybe no one will believe them.

It's their word against ours.

00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,521

They found us humping in the lunch room.

00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,440

I was about to stick

my tongue up your ass.

00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,443

Oh, Jesus.

I guess we have to do the right thing.

00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:50,402

[groans]

00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,780

Okay, what will it take for you

to keep your mouth shut?

00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:53,739

A thousand dollars?

00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,157

- We want A's, bitches.

- We want A's.

00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,326

- That's it? In what?

- In everything.

00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,370

So we give you the A's and we forget

that this whole thing ever happened.

00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,581

Finger in the ass, the neglect,

the eating of a--

00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,041

Congrats.

You're both on the honor rolls.

00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:04,958

- Woo-hoo!

- Yeah!

00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,293

- YUMYULACK: Honor roll, dude!

- JESSE: Woo-hoo!

00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,211

[cheering continues]

00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:08,462

We've been bad.

00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,464

[both moaning]

00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:15,969

[machine powers up]

00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,013

[babies cooing, babbling]

00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,140

Man, gathering up

the ashes of my victims

00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,727

and reconstituting them into babies is

way more work than I thought it would be.

00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,938

But, hey, they get a second chance

at life, so that's cool.

00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,022

What's up with you dorks?

00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,941

We caught the teachers

eating each other's asses,

00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,776

so they gave us A's in all our classes.

00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:33,862

And we're best friends again.

And we're out of Frosted Flakes.

00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,072

I'll pick some up tomorrow.

00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,533

Hey, uh, don't open the bathroom door

because I locked Korvo in there

00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,534

until he gets smart again.

00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,119

KORVO: Let me out of here!

There's an alien in here!

00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,411

Oh, wait, that's--

it's just me in the mirror.

00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,288

Wow, he sounds really stupid.

00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,499

Yeah, I shot him with the dumb gun

like 10 times.

00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,626

Oh geez, that will take forever

to wear off.

00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:48,961

Feel better, Korvo.

00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,255

Don't sleep face down

or you might suffocate.

00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:54,299

KORVO: Let me out. Gal Gadot is a witch

that was put into American society

00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,343

to make us all forget

about the 2008 recession.

00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,011

Okay, buddy, very cool.

00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,097

KORVO: Let me out right now!

I-I-I've got a hostage in here.

00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,390

[high-pitched voice]

Help me, let me out.

00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,767

[normal voice] Don't worry, it's a joke.

I'm doing both voices. Play along.

00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,477

[British accent]

'Ello, what are you two doing in here?

00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,770

[normal voice]

Shh, hey, be quiet.

00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,440

♪ ominous music playing ♪

00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,652

- It's empty. No, this is all wrong.

- Come on, we have to get out of here.

00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,362

[clapping]

00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,030

You stupid fucks.

00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,992

What are you gonna do, Duke,

take us all on? You're outnumbered.

00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,036

You see, Tim, my boy,

00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,997

this was the trap.

00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:29,376

Enrique and I set up the whole thing.

The map, the Peep, everything.

00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,545

- Enrique, why?

- You killed my son.

00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:35,007

The Duke might have pulled the trigger,

but you dragged him into this whole thing.

00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,800

See, I'm a man of rules.

00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,720

It's rules that keep everyone alive

in the wall.

00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:43,182

But when someone breaks said rules,

you need a punishment.

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,018

I found the perfect form of punishment.

00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,102

The Boo Hoo Hole.

00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,730

Tim, you ever heard

of the Boo Hoo Hole.

00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,773

[screams]

00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,943

Noooo!

00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,905

I have different plans for you, Tim.

00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:04,786

These genius aliens are a billion times

smarter than any man.

00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,831

They are truly worthy adversaries.

00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:08,957

[door opens]

00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,668

Thank you for letting me out.

I'm feeling much smarter.

00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:12,836

I'm smart now. Thank you.

00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,088

Okay, we're all trusting you

to be smart.

00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,965

And we all learned a lesson today,

00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,092

so let's all buckle down

and be smart together

00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,177

and help repair the ship.

00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,012

What've you got there?

Are those hyperdrive plans?

00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,389

Oh, Jesse, nice try.

We don't even have a hyperdrive.

00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,100

No, no, no, this is

my 700-page screenplay for "Ted 3."

00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,852

- You all have to give me notes.

- Oh, fuck, he's still dumb.

00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,646

It's called "T3D."

- It's not in 3

- D though.

00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,689

Ted and Wahlberg go on a treasure hunt

and meet a witch.

00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,441

I copyrighted this with WGA-North.

00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,486

It takes place in the Harry Potter world

in the future, where every city is Boston.

00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,197

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are president.

Papa John's has cool pizza.

00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,782

I'm gonna be a professional poker player.

00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,243

Let me out of the ropy bag.

Free me from the ropy bag.

00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,162

It's nice to do stuff as a family.

00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:50,874

♪ theme music playing ♪

00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:55,045

♪

00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,000

[imitating laser fire]

00:00:06,091 --> 00:00:07,951

Знаете, почему вы здесь?

00:00:08,046 --> 00:00:11,002

Вероятно, у нас опять

проблемы из-за Юмьюлака.

00:00:11,108 --> 00:00:12,597

Как обычно.

00:00:12,632 --> 00:00:15,160

Я сделал что-то

классное, а ты настучала?

00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:16,251

Я не ябеда!

00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:20,011

– Нет! Ты ябеда-корябеда!

– Не трогай меня! Хватит!

00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,315

О, замолчите!

00:00:21,341 --> 00:00:23,503

Вы испортили учебный

год своей наукой!

00:00:23,528 --> 00:00:26,222

Вы отправили команду по

шахматам в другое измерение,

00:00:26,246 --> 00:00:27,815

оживили эмбрионов свиней!

00:00:27,887 --> 00:00:32,356

И уверен, это вы сделали месячные

мисс Ким трёхмесячными,

00:00:32,382 --> 00:00:34,079

потому что она забрала

ваш светящийся шар!

00:00:34,098 --> 00:00:35,693

– Ябеда!

– Не в этот раз.

00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:37,027

– Да-да-да!

– Нет! Не надо!

00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:40,661

Юмьюлак, из 180 учебных дней

00:00:40,687 --> 00:00:42,716

ты опоздал 179 раз!

00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:45,382

И Джесси, ты опоздала три раза!

00:00:45,408 --> 00:00:47,959

– Я чудовище!

– Да. Чудовище.

00:00:47,986 --> 00:00:51,416

Если вы еще хоть раз

опоздаете или прогуляете –

00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:52,792

вас исключат.

00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,321

А значит, вы отправитесь

в военную школу,

00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,538

где вас вздуют деды.

00:00:58,468 --> 00:01:01,174

И заставят вас побрить головы.

00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,125

Но волосы – всё для меня!

00:01:03,186 --> 00:01:05,565

Тогда без фокусов!

00:01:08,014 --> 00:01:10,631

О, так круто, когда ты орёшь на детей.

00:01:10,657 --> 00:01:13,283

У меня трусы хоть отжимать можно,

00:01:13,309 --> 00:01:15,402

когда ты вносишь

запись в их личное дело.

00:01:15,427 --> 00:01:17,804

И они пойдут с этим в колледж.

00:01:18,801 --> 00:01:21,018

Готовься. Видел в интернете.

00:01:21,044 --> 00:01:23,169

О, как классно.

00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:24,705

Терри, помоги мне.

00:01:24,706 --> 00:01:25,425

ИНСТРУМЕНТЫ

00:01:25,426 --> 00:01:27,774

Да? Даже лень взглянуть на меня?

00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,138

Я делаю три движения шеей в день.

00:01:30,164 --> 00:01:30,997

Осталось одно.

00:01:31,023 --> 00:01:34,108

Нужно подключить дорсальную

призму, усилить реактор,

00:01:34,112 --> 00:01:35,620

а ты подключил

телефон к стереосистеме,

00:01:35,621 --> 00:01:36,943

и его нельзя отключить.

00:01:36,947 --> 00:01:39,447

Еще раз услышу саундтрек к

«Угнать за 60 секунд»...

00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:40,784

Я туп, чтобы помогать.

00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,942

Воспользуйся смарт-лучом.

00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:44,029

Это всего секунда.

00:01:44,055 --> 00:01:46,622

Нет уж. Умные – все зануды.

00:01:46,623 --> 00:01:47,993

Что ты делаешь?

00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,397

Терри, вернись.

Дай выстрелить смарт-лучом.

00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:54,778

– Ха-ха!

– Терри!

00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:56,337

Его так просто сломать?!

00:01:56,362 --> 00:01:59,024

Отправь Джесси в адское

измерение. Она подхалимка.

00:01:59,049 --> 00:02:01,804

Это измерение только

для врагов и Энсела Элгорта.

00:02:01,805 --> 00:02:03,563

И еще для мусора.

00:02:03,588 --> 00:02:05,106

Из-за Юмьюлака у нас снова проблемы.

00:02:05,132 --> 00:02:07,487

Они догадались про светящийся шар.

00:02:07,513 --> 00:02:10,045

Можно я брошу школу?

Зачем она вообще?

00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:12,925

Пупа обретёт истинную

форму и уничтожит планету.

00:02:12,951 --> 00:02:14,863

Можно я просто посмотрю телек?

00:02:14,889 --> 00:02:16,891

– Газировка.

– Это не предугадать.

00:02:16,917 --> 00:02:18,591

Он может расти неделю, а может год.

00:02:18,617 --> 00:02:20,369

Кто знает, сколько он будет расти.

00:02:20,394 --> 00:02:22,593

Брось, Терри. Ты знаешь.

Ты спец по Пупам.

00:02:22,618 --> 00:02:24,124

– Неважно.

– Слушайте.

00:02:24,149 --> 00:02:26,067

Школа нужна. Она делает вас умнее.

00:02:26,093 --> 00:02:28,318

А быть умным важнее

всего остального.

00:02:28,343 --> 00:02:30,423

Всё не так. Корво глупый.

00:02:30,449 --> 00:02:32,491

Школа нужна, потому что там весело

00:02:32,517 --> 00:02:33,414

и полно тех,

00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:36,832

кто любит устраивать вечеринки

и делать разные штуки пальцами.

00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,588

Стой. Терри, ты любишь школу?

00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:40,078

Ну да. Школа – это круто.

00:02:40,104 --> 00:02:41,717

Правда? Мы можем пойти в школу.

00:02:41,743 --> 00:02:42,763

Ах. Если бы.

00:02:42,789 --> 00:02:45,544

За цементной фабрикой

школа для взрослых, Терри.

00:02:45,570 --> 00:02:46,953

– Правда?

– Да. Пойдём туда.

00:02:46,979 --> 00:02:49,040

Станем умными и добьёмся похвалы.

00:02:49,065 --> 00:02:50,716

Или найдём крутых девок

00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:51,736

и не будем чинить корабль.

00:02:51,762 --> 00:02:53,915

Или ты станешь

ответственным, порядочным

00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,211

и поможешь мне с кораблём.

00:02:55,237 --> 00:02:58,239

Терри и Корво идут в школу

по одним и тем же причинам.

00:02:59,384 --> 00:03:01,482

Планета Шлорп была

идеальной утопией.

00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:03,563

Пока не упал астероид.

00:03:04,658 --> 00:03:07,064

Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу

00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:08,933

и сбежали в космос

00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:11,253

в поисках нового дома

в незаселённых мирах.

00:03:12,106 --> 00:03:15,108

Мы упали на Землю и застряли

на перенаселённой планете.

00:03:15,109 --> 00:03:16,728

Верно. Это говорю я.

00:03:16,734 --> 00:03:18,534

Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.

00:03:18,535 --> 00:03:21,175

И это моё шоу.

Я бросил Пупу. Видите меня?

00:03:21,199 --> 00:03:22,407

Это смешно.

00:03:22,408 --> 00:03:24,324

Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:25,325

Люди глупые.

00:03:25,326 --> 00:03:26,995

Если сказать им, что Христос – пришелец,

00:03:26,996 --> 00:03:28,643

они начинают орать.

00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:30,117

Хотя он сделал много

всего инопланетного.

00:03:30,142 --> 00:03:32,213

Смиритесь. Это ерунда.

00:03:32,353 --> 00:03:34,573

ОБРАТНАЯ СТОРОНА ЗЕМЛИ

00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:42,025

Я круто выгляжу?

00:03:42,050 --> 00:03:44,375

– Да. Первый день в школе!

– Терри, не будь придурком,

00:03:44,401 --> 00:03:45,342

будь крутым, как я.

00:03:45,346 --> 00:03:46,934

Жуткая мантия – не круто.

00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,790

Ты завидуешь, как она шуршит.

00:03:50,411 --> 00:03:52,265

Да, это же правда круто.

00:03:52,291 --> 00:03:53,313

Школа пойдёт тебе на пользу.

00:03:53,314 --> 00:03:55,103

Перестанешь лениться.

00:03:55,106 --> 00:03:56,566

Я даже отвечать на это не буду.

00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,124

Мне слишком лениво.

00:03:58,149 --> 00:04:00,906

Тогда почему тебе так

нравится ходить в школу?

00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,650

Я люблю классические

фильмы про колледж:

00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,283

«Университет монстров»,

«ППУ» и «Черепа».

00:04:06,075 --> 00:04:08,658

Я планирую развлечься,

а потом всё списать у тебя

00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:09,372

в конце семестра.

00:04:09,398 --> 00:04:11,788

Не надо постоянно искать

короткий путь, Терри.

00:04:11,789 --> 00:04:14,176

Может, тебе попробовать

вести себя иначе?

00:04:14,201 --> 00:04:16,050

Ты сам хотел выстрелить

в меня смарт-лучом.

00:04:16,075 --> 00:04:18,669

Укорачивать себе путь

нужно до разумных пределов.

00:04:18,671 --> 00:04:20,671

Я победил. Поторопись. А то опоздаешь.

00:04:20,673 --> 00:04:22,272

И тогда придётся искать короткий путь,

00:04:22,297 --> 00:04:24,514

а ты это не любишь.

00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,372

Мне нравятся синие чернила!

00:04:30,898 --> 00:04:32,770

Пропусти мой джип, попрошайка.

00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:35,348

Не так быстро.

00:04:35,356 --> 00:04:36,955

– Бери рюкзак.

– Какого черта?!

00:04:38,776 --> 00:04:41,982

– Это интересно.

– Это принадлежит Герцогу.

00:04:42,008 --> 00:04:44,784

– Уже нет.

– Тебе конец! Вам всем конец!

00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:46,612

Как и моему сыну, мерзавец.

00:04:46,638 --> 00:04:48,620

Нет! Мы не убиваем.

00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:51,868

Это отличает нас от тех

людей, которые убивают.

00:04:51,871 --> 00:04:53,675

Мы делаем всё наоборот.

00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,500

Мы никого не убиваем.

00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:56,893

Ясно?

00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,349

Привет?

00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:02,962

Есть кто? Учителя? Кто-нибудь?

00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,028

Прекрасный день.

00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,232

Никто не обзывает замшельцем

00:05:05,257 --> 00:05:07,364

и не надо делать вид,

что у меня есть зад.

00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:10,085

– Потому что здесь никого.

– Стой. Что?

00:05:11,413 --> 00:05:13,314

О боже, я и не заметил. Почему?

00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:15,496

Думаю, нас тестируют.

00:05:15,522 --> 00:05:18,817

Директор Кук пытается узнать,

опоздаем мы или пойдём в класс,

00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,535

даже если никто не следит.

00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,640

Вот как выглядит летняя школа.

00:05:22,666 --> 00:05:24,563

Психологическая интеллектуальная игра,

00:05:24,589 --> 00:05:27,369

не то что в фильме «Отряд самоубийц».

00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:29,023

Не стой на моём пути!

00:05:29,049 --> 00:05:31,007

Ты не стой на моём пути, придурок!

00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:33,437

Это будет самое суровое

испытание в жизни.

00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,285

Не вздумай мешать мне.

00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:58,187

Его звали Чарльз Полсон Гинзбург,

00:05:58,188 --> 00:06:02,439

но вы знаете его как отца

кассетного видеомагнитофона.

00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:05,012

А я знаю его как моего отца.

00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:09,047

У меня сегодня вечеринка.

Как в настоящем колледже.

00:06:09,073 --> 00:06:11,327

Пиво и прочее. Украдём

полицейскую тачку.

00:06:11,353 --> 00:06:12,619

Придётся найти няню.

00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:15,627

Приходи с детьми.

В Казу де Терри пускают всех.

00:06:15,653 --> 00:06:16,354

Тс-с, замолчи.

00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:19,142

Долорес, приходи на вечеринку.

00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:22,381

Мне надо домой, смотреть

«Морскую полицию».

00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:23,504

Отстой.

00:06:23,505 --> 00:06:25,070

Никто не оценил или даже не заметил,

00:06:25,096 --> 00:06:26,655

что я одет как Ван Уайлдер,

00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,913

– наставник Таджа.

– Сосредоточься.

00:06:28,938 --> 00:06:31,192

Это твоя работа. А

моя – быть прекрасным.

00:06:31,218 --> 00:06:32,971

Из-за тебя я пропустил,

00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:34,652

– что значит кассетный.

– Это ерунда.

00:06:34,677 --> 00:06:36,395

Колледж для того, чтобы веселиться

00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:38,455

и получить проблемы с законом.

Но мой отец – юрист,

00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,356

так что меня отпустят.

00:06:40,382 --> 00:06:42,465

Думаю, мне пора расти над собой.

00:06:43,342 --> 00:06:45,882

Э-эй, о-о! Осторожно!

00:06:45,908 --> 00:06:46,755

Тарелочки!

00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,945

Скажем, надо починить DVD-плеер.

00:06:48,948 --> 00:06:50,248

Это то же, что кассетник?

00:06:50,249 --> 00:06:52,699

О, если бы я знал.

00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,330

Терри, хватит! Никто

не любит тарелочки! Ты как дурак!

00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,658

Эй, твои тарелочки в тон шторам?

00:06:57,665 --> 00:06:59,958

Не знаю. Хочешь посмотреть?

00:07:05,937 --> 00:07:08,317

Хорошо, что матрас

с независимыми пружинами.

00:07:08,342 --> 00:07:10,332

А то я бы прыгал по всей кровати.

00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:14,939

Скоро занятия, Терри.

Ты опять всю ночь развлекался?

00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:17,266

О да. Всю ночь искал вечеринку.

00:07:17,268 --> 00:07:19,309

Был слух, что в баре

«Рок» будут пловцы,

00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:21,061

но там танцевали двое бездомных.

00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:24,025

Ладно. Джесси, Юмьюлак,

что у вас в школе?

00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,733

Я прохожу сложный психологический тест,

00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:29,314

как в фильме «Отряд

самоубийц», получивший «Оскара».

00:07:29,340 --> 00:07:32,473

Да. И учителей нет,

чтобы подсказать, что делать.

00:07:32,499 --> 00:07:33,950

Это часть теста.

00:07:33,951 --> 00:07:35,621

Вас заставляют мыслить нестандартно.

00:07:35,646 --> 00:07:37,740

О-о-о! Не хочу всё выворачивать,

00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:39,207

но вместо того, чтобы

мыслить нестандартно,

00:07:39,232 --> 00:07:41,089

может, им лучше...

00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,748

Я всеми фибрами души против этого,

00:07:45,753 --> 00:07:47,088

но ты знаешь, что мы должны сделать.

00:07:47,089 --> 00:07:47,839

За ножи!

00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,960

Нет. Не будем ненавидеть

друг друга, как брат и сестра.

00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:52,240

Будем делать это академически.

00:07:52,266 --> 00:07:54,634

Станем друг другу учителями.

00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:57,297

Тогда внимательнее смотри

по сторонам, придурок!

00:07:57,322 --> 00:07:59,922

Потому что я зачислю тебя в вуз!

00:07:59,948 --> 00:08:02,952

Вы знаете, что это?

Это вся империя Герцога.

00:08:02,978 --> 00:08:05,898

Еда, потайные ходы и э...

00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,520

Его ресторан в стиле

пятидесятых «Боп-Бопс».

00:08:08,526 --> 00:08:11,460

Опустошим его запасы

и раздадим всей Стене.

00:08:11,486 --> 00:08:12,713

И никто не узнает, что это мы.

00:08:12,738 --> 00:08:14,025

Идеальное преступление.

00:08:14,051 --> 00:08:15,728

Как в «Тринадцати друзьях Оушена».

00:08:15,754 --> 00:08:17,962

Лучшая работа Эллиота

Гулда с семидесятых.

00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:21,289

Парни, в «Друзьях» он тоже классный.

00:08:23,118 --> 00:08:25,061

Всем сесть и замолчать!

00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:28,572

Или клянусь, я выкину

тебя на улицу еще до обеда.

00:08:28,598 --> 00:08:30,881

Я верну тебя на землю!

00:08:30,883 --> 00:08:34,822

Уверена, ты не знал, что

Шекспир был первым рэпером.

00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,758

О, Шекспир жил

00:08:36,764 --> 00:08:39,643

с ди-джеем Кулом Герком в Бронксе

пять лет до появления Сына Сэма?

00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,259

Да, точно. Поэтому

стихи Шекспира как рэп.

00:08:42,285 --> 00:08:44,590

Плюс он заработал кучу денег

00:08:44,615 --> 00:08:45,693

на пьесах других драматургов.

00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:47,017

Мне нравится Шекспир.

00:08:47,041 --> 00:08:48,102

Разумеется.

00:08:48,107 --> 00:08:52,240

Мой жёсткий, но доходчивый стиль

обучения пробивает эмоциональную броню.

00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,308

Еще как!

00:09:00,621 --> 00:09:01,683

А!

00:09:02,436 --> 00:09:05,444

Терри, я пытаюсь учиться.

И ты займись тем же.

00:09:05,471 --> 00:09:07,417

Уже. Я учусь играть на барабанах,

00:09:07,418 --> 00:09:08,385

как в фильме «Одержимость».

00:09:08,411 --> 00:09:10,702

Представь, что будет,

если ты вылетишь из школы.

00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:12,882

Полагаю, меня ждёт выволочка.

00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:14,939

Нет. Я думал, ты станешь

дисциплинированным.

00:09:14,964 --> 00:09:16,311

Но ты не оставил выбора.

00:09:16,336 --> 00:09:17,806

Если тебя отчислят, забудь про телек,

00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,589

видеоигры

00:09:18,615 --> 00:09:21,529

и про подписку на канал «Хулу».

00:09:21,555 --> 00:09:23,164

Но «Нетфликс» не показывает то,

00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:25,730

что снимает «Хулу». А «Хулу»

снимает «Призрачную башню».

00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,349

Как же я узнал, что там дальше, Корво?

00:09:28,357 --> 00:09:29,445

Тогда учись.

00:09:29,446 --> 00:09:31,929

Сделай мне очки, которые

позволят видеть сквозь людей,

00:09:31,954 --> 00:09:32,842

чтобы списывать.

00:09:32,868 --> 00:09:34,696

Разумеется. Но к экзамену не успеть.

00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:36,903

Стой. Я не буду помогать тебе.

00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:39,524

Ты сделаешь всё сам.

Тебе придётся принять этот вызов.

00:09:39,549 --> 00:09:41,670

А-а! Ладно. Да.

00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:43,410

Пойду за учебником.

00:09:43,779 --> 00:09:46,099

Я даже не могу попасть

в себя смарт-лучом.

00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:47,425

Что делать?

00:09:47,614 --> 00:09:49,234

Пупа, нельзя играть с лучом глупости.

00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:52,961

Если ты в кого-нибудь попадёшь,

он станет глупый и весёлым,

00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:54,805

как я.

00:09:55,115 --> 00:09:57,260

Их математика очень лёгкая.

00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:59,387

Они даже не нашли

число, исходящее из нуля.

00:09:59,412 --> 00:10:01,824

– Зачем тебе луч глупости?

– Я держу его.

00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:03,316

Получай, придурок!

00:10:03,641 --> 00:10:05,560

Терри, он лишь для крайних случаев,

00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:06,522

когда мы перемудрим.

00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:07,772

Сейчас как раз такой.

00:10:07,797 --> 00:10:10,022

Не делай меня глупым!

Мои подкасты пропадут.

00:10:10,047 --> 00:10:12,061

Но мы сможем тупить вместе!

00:10:12,086 --> 00:10:13,192

Нет. Это глупый план.

00:10:13,548 --> 00:10:14,627

Ой!

00:10:15,535 --> 00:10:17,495

О боже, Корво. Ты в порядке?

00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:27,055

Приятель, как самочувствие?

00:10:27,081 --> 00:10:28,148

Ты поглупел?

00:10:28,174 --> 00:10:29,879

Хочу посмотреть трилогию

«Уж кто бы говорил»

00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:31,075

и съесть хот-дог.

00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,642

Да! Так-то!

00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:37,923

Мне нравится пить пиво на скорость.

00:10:37,948 --> 00:10:39,100

И мне тоже, бро.

00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:40,926

Не хочешь купить всё меню в забегаловке,

00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:42,544

смешать в миске

00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,147

и съесть вместе со

мной с ножом и вилкой?

00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:46,785

Да, миллион раз да.

00:10:47,191 --> 00:10:49,233

Тупак – как кислород.

00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:50,773

Он нужен нам для жизни.

00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:52,737

А вот Сиско, скорее, как плутоний.

00:10:52,738 --> 00:10:54,839

Он как артист одного хита,

00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:56,017

про которого все уже забыли.

00:10:56,498 --> 00:10:59,718

Никогда не думал, что каждый

школьный предмет основан на рэпе.

00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:02,330

Это самое рэповое,

что ты сказал за весь день.

00:11:02,331 --> 00:11:05,917

Пять. О, мы не успеваем.

Моя очередь. Учи меня.

00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:07,667

Начинаем «Английский сто один».

00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,339

Все достаньте учебники.

00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:11,198

А теперь выбросьте их.

00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:13,733

Они нам не нужны. Я учу по памяти.

00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:15,965

Стой. Вообще-то, вынь его из помойки.

00:11:15,969 --> 00:11:18,791

Да, мы будем часто

обращаться к тексту.

00:11:19,598 --> 00:11:21,534

– А теперь выброси!

– О, хватит.

00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:22,737

Вечеринка у нас дома!

00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:26,122

Начинается не знаю во сколько

и будет до двух ночи!

00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,994

Будет круто!

00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,305

Хватайся и держись.

00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:48,668

Паук! Замрите!

00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:55,305

Иди ты, паук!

00:12:00,347 --> 00:12:02,705

Почему мы не сказали точное время?

00:12:02,731 --> 00:12:04,013

Люди приходят весь день.

00:12:04,018 --> 00:12:05,796

Хотите увидеть, как я бью бутылку?

00:12:06,646 --> 00:12:07,689

Да!

00:12:07,896 --> 00:12:10,524

Потрогай мантию.

Кто-нибудь, потрогайте её!

00:12:11,441 --> 00:12:13,651

Так. У меня девяносто

пять. У тебя тридцать три.

00:12:13,652 --> 00:12:16,732

Ах, мы сдали! И каждый

день ходили в школу!

00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:18,753

– Да! Мы молодцы! Ха-ха!

– Да!

00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:23,919

Я сказала, мы были

здесь каждый день!

00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:26,710

Эй! Мы справились! Можете выходить.

00:12:26,736 --> 00:12:28,238

Чего вы ждёте?

00:12:29,168 --> 00:12:31,498

Хах. Думаешь, они решили уйти?

00:12:31,524 --> 00:12:34,295

Может, за нами никто не следит?

00:12:34,298 --> 00:12:36,507

Может, они имели в виду

не пропускать школу,

00:12:36,508 --> 00:12:38,610

когда все остальные тоже будут здесь.

00:12:38,637 --> 00:12:41,136

Мы ходили сюда всё это время зря?

00:12:41,162 --> 00:12:43,056

Думаю, да. И что теперь?

00:12:43,057 --> 00:12:44,721

Уничтожим школу научной фантастикой?

00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:45,788

Да!

00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,099

Осторожно!

00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:53,730

– Да!

– Да!

00:12:56,272 --> 00:12:57,810

ЕДА

00:12:57,872 --> 00:12:59,818

Кто-то должен прикрепить это к двери

00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:01,238

и отбежать до взрыва.

00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:03,863

В свободное время я

тренировался убегать от взрывов.

00:13:03,869 --> 00:13:05,456

– Я справлюсь.

– Нет.

00:13:05,482 --> 00:13:07,895

В прежние времена я был

сотрудником сети магазинов,

00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,036

плохим сотрудником.

00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:12,379

Я на всех ругался и мочился

в автомат с напитками.

00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:15,731

Но здесь всё иначе.

Здесь я умру как герой.

00:13:15,757 --> 00:13:16,632

Брайсон, я же сказал:

00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:18,593

никто не умрёт. Думаю,

я успею отпрыгнуть

00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:20,837

– до взрыва.

– В лучах славы!

00:13:20,863 --> 00:13:21,985

О черт.

00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:23,839

– Беги, беги, Брайсон!

– Беги! Беги! Ну же!

00:13:23,864 --> 00:13:25,588

Нет! Нет времени!

00:13:26,809 --> 00:13:28,110

О, ладно. Может, и есть.

00:13:28,135 --> 00:13:29,547

– А-а-а!

– Брайсон!

00:13:32,398 --> 00:13:33,856

О черт!

00:13:33,857 --> 00:13:35,566

Я жив!

00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:36,656

Но я ослеп!

00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,363

Надо было бежать.

Почему ты стоял?

00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:41,109

О нет! Моё достоинство!

00:13:41,135 --> 00:13:43,620

Я слепой и без достоинства!

00:13:43,993 --> 00:13:45,862

Э...

00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,787

Прошу, уйдите.

00:13:47,788 --> 00:13:51,226

Я слепой и без достоинства.

00:13:51,542 --> 00:13:53,372

Эй, я нашёл его!

00:13:53,377 --> 00:13:56,587

Оно всё время было здесь!

Только ниже, чем я думал.

00:13:58,048 --> 00:13:59,548

Смотри, Терри.

00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:00,814

Стой-стой-стой. Ты же говорил,

00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,666

нажимать кнопки на корабле опасно.

00:14:02,691 --> 00:14:04,600

Не будь дураком.

00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:12,201

– Видишь? Порядок.

– Люблю глупого Корво.

00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,186

Эй, Корво, иди сюда. Понюхай с нами.

00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,997

Хрю-хрю, придурки!

00:14:27,262 --> 00:14:28,720

Ледяная лава!

00:14:28,746 --> 00:14:30,047

Она замерзает!

00:14:30,073 --> 00:14:31,785

Боже, и сжигает!

00:14:40,442 --> 00:14:41,496

Ха-ха! Стой!

00:14:41,522 --> 00:14:43,533

Не стреляй. Щекотно.

00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:45,150

О, попалась.

00:14:48,116 --> 00:14:50,746

– Это мы сделали лаву?

– Не знаю. Может быть.

00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,310

– А!

– Вода!

00:14:52,311 --> 00:14:54,506

Нечестно. Я отвлеклась.

00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:56,591

Корво, что мы наделали?

00:14:56,617 --> 00:14:59,049

Горяче-холодная лава

разлилась повсюду.

00:14:59,074 --> 00:15:00,732

Не волнуйся. Я знаю, что делать.

00:15:01,779 --> 00:15:03,384

Я оседлал пришельца!

00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:04,822

Хватит глупостей.

00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:06,415

Лишь ты знаешь про ледяную лаву.

00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,446

Терри, я знаю, как всё исправить.

00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:10,161

Потусим и посмотрим трилогию.

00:15:10,162 --> 00:15:12,015

Всё рассосётся само собой.

00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,704

Нет времени и на один фильм.

00:15:13,707 --> 00:15:16,476

Кто знал, что если ты станешь

глупым, всё закончится так?!

00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,998

Может, вторую часть

«Матрицы»? Посмотрим не подряд.

00:15:19,023 --> 00:15:20,503

Может, я смогу починить смарт-пушку

00:15:20,507 --> 00:15:22,256

и выстрелю в тебя.

00:15:22,257 --> 00:15:24,757

Будь здесь. Я сделаю тебя умным.

00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,970

Эй, я глупый, а не глухой!

00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:30,174

Давай, давай.

00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:32,837

А, да! Эй, учебник небольшой.

00:15:32,863 --> 00:15:34,152

А! О черт.

00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:36,132

Ладно. Терри, ты справишься.

00:15:36,158 --> 00:15:38,120

Сосредоточься. Учись. Будь умным.

00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,896

Морфеус, как ты делаешь

так, что солнечные очки

00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:41,802

прилипают к лицу?

00:15:41,828 --> 00:15:44,079

О, я должен это видеть. Нет, нет.

00:15:44,105 --> 00:15:45,406

Сосредоточься.

00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,713

О! Если перенаправить лаву...

00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,399

Смотри, Терри. Я теперь Морфеус.

00:15:51,425 --> 00:15:52,565

Осторожно.

00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:55,185

Надо купить скакуна.

Хочу поехать в Кентукки

00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:56,221

и носить большую шляпу.

00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,977

Я придумал ему имя.

00:15:58,002 --> 00:15:59,807

Готов? Лошадеус.

00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:00,986

Это для скакуна.

00:16:01,011 --> 00:16:02,103

Ты замолчишь, наконец?

00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,877

Так я не починю смарт-пушку.

00:16:03,902 --> 00:16:05,939

Я прочитал лишь главу по реактору.

00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,765

Вот это да!

00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:10,796

Я случайно научился чинить

лавоподобный реактор.

00:16:12,612 --> 00:16:14,950

Хочу, чтобы ты знал,

если я не выживу:

00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:18,171

Для меня было большой честью

прилететь на Землю с тобой.

00:16:18,197 --> 00:16:19,535

Корво, я люблю тебя.

00:16:19,536 --> 00:16:21,956

Хочу ударить

молотком по пуле. США!

00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:23,704

США! США!

00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:50,300

Ну вот. Я починил его.

00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:52,739

Я сделал что-то, не срезая путь.

00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:53,934

Что ты делаешь?!

00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,407

Я думал, ты подаёшь сигналы.

00:16:55,408 --> 00:16:57,695

Что? Нет. Когда пройдёт действие луча?

00:16:57,699 --> 00:16:58,517

Хочу фастфуд.

00:16:58,542 --> 00:16:59,524

Я такой постоянно?

00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,489

О, Терри, посмотрим «Обитель зла»?

00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:02,607

Да, я такой.

00:17:03,354 --> 00:17:04,330

О да.

00:17:04,332 --> 00:17:06,169

Люблю последнюю

неделю летних каникул.

00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:08,456

Здорово, когда здесь нет детей.

00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,920

После давай в позе наездницы,

00:17:10,921 --> 00:17:12,460

а потом в химической лаборатории.

00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,131

Но на мне сандалии.

00:17:15,141 --> 00:17:16,893

Что вы здесь делаете?!

00:17:19,387 --> 00:17:22,017

– О нет.

– Мы сделали, как вы сказали.

00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:25,381

Мы приходим сюда

каждый день в семь утра.

00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:27,038

И давно вы здесь одни?

00:17:27,064 --> 00:17:29,058

– Мы ни разу не опоздали. Правда.

– Мы сделали, как нам сказали.

00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:30,743

Проявите сострадание.

00:17:30,769 --> 00:17:32,070

Ждите снаружи.

00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,604

Да что с ними такое?!

00:17:35,631 --> 00:17:37,175

Плевать, что они подружились.

00:17:37,199 --> 00:17:39,073

Мы не говорили им ходить сюда всё лето!

00:17:39,074 --> 00:17:40,574

Это насилие.

00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:43,022

Может, им не поверят.

Наше слово против их.

00:17:43,047 --> 00:17:44,634

Они застали нас в столовой.

00:17:44,659 --> 00:17:46,488

Практически с поличным.

00:17:46,514 --> 00:17:47,634

О боже.

00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:49,463

Мы должны поступить правильно.

00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:53,006

Ладно. Сколько вы хотите за молчание?

00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:53,909

Тысячу долларов?

00:17:53,935 --> 00:17:55,277

– Мы хотим пятёрки!

– Мы хотим пятёрки!

00:17:55,301 --> 00:17:57,206

– И всё? За что?

– За всё.

00:17:57,232 --> 00:18:00,469

Мы ставим вам пятёрки, а вы

забываете обо всём, что здесь было.

00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,785

Позу наездницы, насилие, поедание...

00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:04,241

Поздравляю, вы отличники.

00:18:04,266 --> 00:18:05,088

– Ура-а!

– Да-а! У-у-у!

00:18:05,114 --> 00:18:06,848

– Я отличник!

– У-у-у!

00:18:07,306 --> 00:18:08,551

Мы плохие.

00:18:18,152 --> 00:18:20,196

О, собирать прах моих жертв

00:18:20,222 --> 00:18:23,826

и вновь превращать их в младенцев

оказалось труднее, чем я думал.

00:18:23,827 --> 00:18:26,036

Но у них есть второй шанс.

Это круто.

00:18:26,037 --> 00:18:26,809

Что у вас?

00:18:26,835 --> 00:18:28,983

Мы застукали наших

учителей в столовке,

00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,829

и теперь мы отличники.

00:18:30,856 --> 00:18:32,132

И мы снова друзья.

00:18:32,158 --> 00:18:33,960

И хлопья закончились.

00:18:33,962 --> 00:18:34,962

Я куплю завтра.

00:18:34,963 --> 00:18:37,631

Не открывайте дверь в ванную.

Я запер там Корво,

00:18:37,632 --> 00:18:38,430

пока он не поумнеет.

00:18:38,431 --> 00:18:40,045

Выпустите! Здесь пришелец!

00:18:40,051 --> 00:18:41,623

О нет. Это я в зеркале.

00:18:41,649 --> 00:18:43,408

О-о, он правда поглупел.

00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:45,436

Да, я выстрелил в него раз десять.

00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:47,727

О, тогда это надолго.

00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:48,887

Держись, Корво.

00:18:48,913 --> 00:18:51,345

Не спи лицом вниз, иначе задохнёшься.

00:18:51,354 --> 00:18:54,402

Выпустите! Галь Гадот –

ведьма. Её заслали в Америку,

00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:56,439

чтобы мы забыли о рецессии 2008-го.

00:18:56,443 --> 00:18:58,028

Да. Очень смешно.

00:18:58,029 --> 00:19:00,196

Выпустите меня! Меня взяли в заложники!

00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:01,277

На помощь! Помогите!

00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:03,869

Нет, это шутка.

Это тоже говорил я. Подыграй.

00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:05,593

Привет, что вы здесь делаете?

00:19:05,619 --> 00:19:06,706

Эй, потише.

00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:12,508

Здесь пусто. Нет. Что-то не так.

00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:14,066

Так. Надо уходить.

00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:16,994

Вы придурки.

00:19:17,317 --> 00:19:20,258

Что ты сделаешь, Герцог,

убьешь нас? Ты в меньшинстве.

00:19:21,938 --> 00:19:25,150

Понимаешь, Тим,

малыш, это была ловушка.

00:19:25,177 --> 00:19:27,215

Мы с Энрике всё это подстроили:

00:19:27,224 --> 00:19:29,433

Карта, джип и прочее.

00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,813

– Энрике? Зачем?

– Ты убил моего сына.

00:19:31,814 --> 00:19:33,269

Формально это сделал Герцог,

00:19:33,294 --> 00:19:35,400

но ты втянул его во всё это.

00:19:35,401 --> 00:19:37,012

Видишь, я соблюдаю правила.

00:19:37,038 --> 00:19:39,819

Стена существует только

благодаря правилам.

00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:42,238

Но когда кто-то нарушает правила,

00:19:42,239 --> 00:19:43,239

его надо наказать.

00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,019

Я нашёл идеальное наказание,

00:19:46,045 --> 00:19:47,418

Дыру рыданий.

00:19:47,444 --> 00:19:50,196

Тим, ты слышал про Дыру рыданий?

00:19:52,078 --> 00:19:53,040

Не-е-ет!

00:19:55,293 --> 00:19:57,794

На тебя у меня другие планы, Тим.

00:20:01,058 --> 00:20:04,818

Эти пришельцы в миллион

раз умнее любого человека.

00:20:05,244 --> 00:20:07,914

Они достойные соперники.

00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,729

Спасибо, что выпустили. Я стал умнее.

00:20:11,755 --> 00:20:12,953

Теперь я умный, спасибо.

00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:15,273

Ладно. Мы верим, что ты умный.

00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:16,968

Мы все извлекли урок.

00:20:16,994 --> 00:20:19,190

Давайте все возьмёмся за дело

00:20:19,216 --> 00:20:20,192

и починим корабль.

00:20:20,193 --> 00:20:22,234

Что это? Схемы гипердвигателя?

00:20:22,258 --> 00:20:24,490

Зря стараешься. У

нас нет гипердвигателя.

00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:27,198

Нет-нет. Это мой сценарий

«Третий лишний 3».

00:20:27,224 --> 00:20:28,790

– Жду ваши замечания.

– Черт. Он еще глупый.

00:20:28,815 --> 00:20:30,675

Называется «T3D», но не в 3D.

00:20:30,701 --> 00:20:34,515

Тед и Уолберг ищут

сокровища и встречают ведьму.

00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:36,500

Действие происходит в мире

Гарри Поттера в будущем,

00:20:36,525 --> 00:20:37,462

где каждый город – Бостон.

00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:38,885

Бен Аффлек и Мэтт

Дэймон – президенты.

00:20:38,886 --> 00:20:40,254

В пиццерии вкусная пицца.

00:20:40,255 --> 00:20:41,858

А я профессиональный игрок в покер.

00:20:41,883 --> 00:20:44,260

Выпустите! Освободите меня!

00:20:44,261 --> 00:20:46,720

Как здорово делать что-то с семьёй.

00:00:07,528 --> 00:00:11,068

Наверное, у нас проблемы из-за того, что Юмьюлак снова что-то сделал.

00:00:11,068 --> 00:00:12,528

Как и обычно.

00:00:12,528 --> 00:00:15,078

Ты о чем-то классном, из-за чего ты меня сдала?

00:00:15,078 --> 00:00:16,078

Я не стукачка!

00:00:16,078 --> 00:00:18,078

Тогда почему тебя колотят, как стукача?

00:00:19,958 --> 00:00:21,248

О боже, заткнитесь!

00:00:21,248 --> 00:00:23,548

Вы оба уничтожили целый год учебы своими странными опытами!

00:00:23,548 --> 00:00:26,168

Вы заперли шахматистов в альтернативном измерении,

00:00:26,168 --> 00:00:28,468

реанимировали всех зародышей свиней, а мы не можем этого доказать,

00:00:28,468 --> 00:00:32,298

но мы точно уверены, что из-за вас у Мисс Ким месячные длились три месяца

00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:33,848

после того, как она отобрала вашу светящуюся сферу.

00:00:33,848 --> 00:00:35,638

- Стукачка!

- Не сегодня!

00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:36,928

- Умри! Умри! Умри!

- Не дождешься.

00:00:37,598 --> 00:00:40,598

Юмьюлак, из 180 дней в этом году

00:00:40,598 --> 00:00:42,608

179 раз ты опаздывал.

00:00:42,608 --> 00:00:45,188

Джесси, а ты опаздывала 3 раза.

00:00:45,188 --> 00:00:47,738

- Я ужасна.

- Да, так и есть.

00:00:47,738 --> 00:00:51,358

Если вы хоть раз опоздаете или пропустите урок,

00:00:51,358 --> 00:00:52,738

то вас исключат.

00:00:52,738 --> 00:00:55,288

А это значит, что вас отправят в военное училище,

00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,368

и там вам хорошенько достанется от задир.

00:00:58,498 --> 00:01:01,078

И вам придется побриться.

00:01:01,078 --> 00:01:02,748

Но мне так важна моя прическа!

00:01:03,288 --> 00:01:05,628

Так что не облажайтесь.

00:01:07,548 --> 00:01:10,258

Ты так горяч, когда кричишь на детей.

00:01:10,588 --> 00:01:13,218

Из меня течет как из ведра,

00:01:13,218 --> 00:01:15,308

когда ты пишешь что-то в их личное дело.

00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,768

О да, им это припомнят в колледже.

00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,938

Готовься. Я видел это на канале Starz.

00:01:20,938 --> 00:01:23,148

Что за...

00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:24,688

Терри, нужна помощь.

00:01:25,108 --> 00:01:26,228

Серьезно,

00:01:26,228 --> 00:01:27,528

тебе даже посмотреть на меня лень?

00:01:27,528 --> 00:01:30,068

Я ограничиваю себя до трех движений шеей в день.

00:01:30,068 --> 00:01:30,948

Осталось только одно.

00:01:30,948 --> 00:01:32,408

Нам нужно огранить дорсальную призму,

00:01:32,408 --> 00:01:33,948

лавовому реактору нужно больше энергии,

00:01:33,948 --> 00:01:35,448

а еще ты подсоединил телефон к стерео корабля,

00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:36,788

и я не знаю, как его отключить.

00:01:36,788 --> 00:01:39,288

Если я еще хоть раз услышу песню "Gone in 60 Seconds" ...

00:01:39,288 --> 00:01:40,708

Ты же знаешь, я слишком глуп, чтобы помочь.

00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:42,868

Просто направь на себя луч мудрости.

00:01:42,868 --> 00:01:43,918

Займет секунду.

00:01:43,918 --> 00:01:46,458

Откажусь. Умные люди обычно грустные.

00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:47,498

Подожи. Что ты делаешь?

00:01:47,998 --> 00:01:50,298

Терри, а ну вернись. Дай я выстрелю в тебя лучом мудрости.

00:01:53,388 --> 00:01:54,588

Терри!

00:01:54,588 --> 00:01:56,218

Я не знал, что он такой хрупкий.

00:01:56,218 --> 00:01:58,928

Эй, вы могли бы отправить Джесси в измерения ада? Она - остой.

00:01:58,928 --> 00:02:01,638

Нет, это измерение только для врагов и Энселя Эльгорта.

00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:03,478

И для мусора, который мы забываем выбросить.

00:02:03,478 --> 00:02:05,058

Из-за Юмьюлака у нас опять проблемы.

00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,438

И они уже начинают догадываться о сфере.

00:02:07,438 --> 00:02:09,988

Могу я просто бросить школу? Зачем она вообще?

00:02:09,988 --> 00:02:12,818

Пупа эволюционирует в свою истинную форму и уничтожит планету.

00:02:12,818 --> 00:02:14,778

Я что, не могу смотреть телевизор, пока это происходит?

00:02:14,778 --> 00:02:16,868

- Пепси.

- Слушай, все это невозможно предугадать.

00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:18,538

Это может занять недели, годы.

00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,448

Оно только что сказало "Пепси". Кто знает, что с ним происходит.

00:02:20,448 --> 00:02:22,578

Черт возьми, Терри, ты-то должен знать. Ты же специалист по Пупам.

00:02:22,578 --> 00:02:23,958

- Ну и что.

- Ладно, вы, двое, слушайте,

00:02:23,958 --> 00:02:26,078

школа важна и делает вас умнее.

00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:28,338

А быть умным - самое важное из всего.

00:02:28,338 --> 00:02:30,208

Контраргумент: Корво глупый.

00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:32,338

Школа важна, потому что это весело,

00:02:32,338 --> 00:02:33,378

нет никакой ответственности,

00:02:33,378 --> 00:02:36,798

а еще повсюду горячие цыпочки, которые хотят тусить и перепихнуться.

00:02:36,798 --> 00:02:38,558

Подожди, Терри, тебе нравится школа?

00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:39,968

Черт возьми, да, глупый! Школа рулит.

00:02:39,968 --> 00:02:41,768

Серьезно? Знаешь, мы тоже может пойти в школу.

00:02:41,768 --> 00:02:42,728

Я бы хотел.

00:02:42,728 --> 00:02:45,438

За цементным заводом есть школа для взрослых, Терри.

00:02:45,438 --> 00:02:46,898

- Такая есть?

- Да, и мы можем пойти туда.

00:02:46,898 --> 00:02:49,018

Мы станем умными и будем сражаться за одобрение учителя.

00:02:49,018 --> 00:02:50,728

Или встретить клрутых девчонок, вступить в братство

00:02:50,728 --> 00:02:51,688

и больше не чинить корабль.

00:02:51,688 --> 00:02:53,858

Или ты можешь научиться ответственности, стать лучшим человеком

00:02:53,858 --> 00:02:55,198

и помочь мне с кораблем.

00:02:55,198 --> 00:02:58,238

Терри и Корво идут в школу по одной и той же причине.

00:02:59,278 --> 00:03:01,328

Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией.

00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,208

До падения астероида.

00:03:04,578 --> 00:03:06,958

Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой

00:03:06,958 --> 00:03:08,918

и отправились в космос

00:03:08,918 --> 00:03:11,298

в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.

00:03:12,048 --> 00:03:15,048

Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселенной планете.

00:03:15,048 --> 00:03:16,678

Верно, это я говорил все это время.

00:03:16,678 --> 00:03:18,468

Я тот, который держут Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.

00:03:18,468 --> 00:03:20,888

Это... это мое шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу. Видите меня?

00:03:20,888 --> 00:03:22,348

Это просто смешно.

00:03:22,348 --> 00:03:24,268

Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:03:24,268 --> 00:03:25,268

Люди глупые.

00:03:25,268 --> 00:03:26,938

Стоит только сказать, что Иисус был пришельцем,

00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:28,558

как они обижаются и начинают на тебя орать,

00:03:28,558 --> 00:03:30,068

даже если он и вел себя как пришелец.

00:03:30,068 --> 00:03:32,148

Смиритесь уже. В чем проблема.

00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:42,078

Эй, я круто выгляжу? Думаю, да.

00:03:42,078 --> 00:03:44,198

- Первый день школы, детка. Ву-ху!

- Терри, не веди себя, как придурок.

00:03:44,198 --> 00:03:45,288

И будь таким крутым, как я.

00:03:45,288 --> 00:03:46,868

Стремная роба - это не круто.

00:03:46,868 --> 00:03:48,668

Ты просто завидуешь тому, как она развивается.

00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,048

Как же чертовски круто.

00:03:52,048 --> 00:03:53,258

Тебе пойдет на пользу, Терри.

00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:55,048

Может, ты перестанешь быть таким ленивым.

00:03:55,048 --> 00:03:56,508

Знаешь, даже не буду отвечать на это,

00:03:56,508 --> 00:03:58,218

потому что мне слишком лень думать над ответом.

00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,848

Тогда почему ты так радумаешься, что пошел в школу?

00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:02,508

Потому что мне нравятся фильмы о колледжах.

00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:05,228

Например, "Университет монстров", "ППУ" и "Черепа".

00:04:06,018 --> 00:04:08,268

Я планирую поступать как в крутых фильмах, а потом списать у тебя

00:04:08,268 --> 00:04:09,268

в конце семестра.

00:04:09,268 --> 00:04:11,728

Не стоит постоянно искать легкие пути, Терри.

00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,978

Может, тебе начать эпизодную арку для твоего персонажа?

00:04:13,978 --> 00:04:16,108

Ты же сам хотел облучить меня лучом мудрости.

00:04:16,108 --> 00:04:18,608

А это уже пример правильного легкого пути, и скажу те...

00:04:18,608 --> 00:04:20,618

Нет, я выиграл. Поторопись, иначе опоздаешь.

00:04:20,618 --> 00:04:22,118

И тогда тебе придется списывать на уроках.

00:04:22,118 --> 00:04:24,448

А я знаю, как ты это ненавидишь.

00:04:24,448 --> 00:04:26,198

Мне нравится писать синими ручками!

00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:32,878

Дай пройти моей уточке, нищий.

00:04:33,168 --> 00:04:35,298

Не так быстро!

00:04:35,298 --> 00:04:36,628

- Возьми этот мешок.

- Что за черт?

00:04:38,718 --> 00:04:42,008

- А это интересно.

- Это принадлежил Герцогу.

00:04:42,008 --> 00:04:44,678

- Больше нет.

- Вы покойники! Вы все покойники!

00:04:44,678 --> 00:04:46,428

Как мой сын, ублюдок!

00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:48,558

Нет! Мы не убиваем.

00:04:48,558 --> 00:04:51,808

Это отличает нас от тех, кто убивает.

00:04:51,808 --> 00:04:53,728

Мы не... Мы не делаем то, что делают они.

00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,438

Если это касается убийства, то мы этого не делаем.

00:04:55,438 --> 00:04:56,528

Понял?

00:04:57,278 --> 00:04:59,648

Привет!

00:04:59,648 --> 00:05:02,908

Ученики, учителя, кто-нибудь?

00:05:02,908 --> 00:05:03,828

Какой прекрасный был день.

00:05:03,828 --> 00:05:05,238

Никто не называл меня "гей-шельцем".

00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,248

И я не прятался в туалете и не делал вид, что у меня есть анус.

00:05:07,248 --> 00:05:09,118

- Да, потому что тут никого.

- Стоп, что?

00:05:11,418 --> 00:05:13,248

О боже, я даже не заметил. Что за черт?

00:05:13,248 --> 00:05:15,378

Думаю, над нами ставят опыт.

00:05:15,378 --> 00:05:18,758

Директор Кук хочет посмотреть, опоздаем ли мы на урок,

00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:20,468

даже если никто не следит за нами.

00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:22,638

Наверное, так и работает летняя школа.

00:05:22,638 --> 00:05:24,598

Ужасный психологический опыт,

00:05:24,598 --> 00:05:27,388

прямо как фильм "Отряд самоубийц", который выиграл Оскар.

00:05:27,388 --> 00:05:29,058

Так что не мешайся!

00:05:29,058 --> 00:05:30,848

Это ты не мешайся, мудила.

00:05:30,848 --> 00:05:33,478

Это будет самый эпичный вызов в нашей жизни.

00:05:33,478 --> 00:05:34,938

Я не хочу, чтобы ты мне мешала.

00:05:55,128 --> 00:05:58,128

Его звали Чарльз Полсон Гинзбург,

00:05:58,128 --> 00:06:02,378

но вы можете знать его как отца видеомагнитофона.

00:06:02,378 --> 00:06:04,848

А я знаю его, как моего отца.

00:06:06,048 --> 00:06:09,058

Тусовка у меня вечером. Настоящий опыт колледжа.

00:06:09,058 --> 00:06:11,308

Пиво, шоты, а еще мы можем украсть полицейскую лошадь.

00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:12,518

Мне пришлось бы найти няню.

00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:15,518

Ну, тогда бери детей с собой. Терри не спрашивает возраст.

00:06:15,518 --> 00:06:16,268

Терри, заткнись.

00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:18,978

Делорес, хочешь пойти на мою вечеринку и набухаться?

00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:22,278

Я пойду домой и буду смотреть "Морская полиция: спецотдел".

00:06:22,278 --> 00:06:23,448

Остой.

00:06:23,448 --> 00:06:26,658

Никто даже внимания не обратил, что я одет как Вэн Уайлдер,

00:06:26,658 --> 00:06:28,738

- понимаешь, тайский наставник.

- Вы могли бы не отвлекаться?

00:06:28,738 --> 00:06:31,078

Это твоя работа. Моя - быть крутым.

00:06:31,078 --> 00:06:32,788

Я прослушал, что значит М в ВМФ.

00:06:32,788 --> 00:06:34,618

- Это может значить что угодно.

- Это какой-то отстой.

00:06:34,618 --> 00:06:36,458

В колледже все должны тусить всю ночь

00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,418

и нарушать закон, но мой отец - адвокат,

00:06:38,418 --> 00:06:40,338

так что у меня никаких проблем не будет.

00:06:40,338 --> 00:06:42,048

Похоже, я должен постараться.

00:06:43,338 --> 00:06:45,888

Эй, эй, аккуратнее!

00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:46,888

Я играю с фрисби!

00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:48,888

Давайте предположим, что мне надо починить DVD.

00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:50,178

Это то же самое, что и ВМФ?

00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:52,638

Хотел бы я знать.

00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:55,268

Терри, прекращай. Никому не нравится фрисби. Ты выглядишь как идиот.

00:06:55,268 --> 00:06:57,608

Эй, а фрисби подходит под шторы?

00:06:57,608 --> 00:06:59,518

Не знаю, рискнешь проверить?

00:07:05,988 --> 00:07:08,238

Как хорошо, что у нас матрасы такие устойчивые.

00:07:08,238 --> 00:07:10,238

Иначе бы я подпрыгивал каждый раз.

00:07:11,658 --> 00:07:14,748

Скоро начинаются уроки, Терри. Ты снова тусовался всю ночь?

00:07:14,748 --> 00:07:17,208

О да, я всю ночь искал вечеринку.

00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:19,248

Ходили слухи, кто команда по плаванию тусовались в "Скале",

00:07:19,248 --> 00:07:20,878

но оказалось, что это два танцующих бездомных.

00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:23,968

Итак, Джесси, Юмьюлак, как у вас дела в школе?

00:07:23,968 --> 00:07:26,678

Мы в самом центре психологического теста,

00:07:26,678 --> 00:07:29,348

прямо как фильм "Отряд самоубийц", который выиграл Оскар.

00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,218

Да. И в школе нет ни одного учителя, который сказал бы нам, что делать.

00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,888

Я уверен, что это часть теста.

00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:35,848

Возможно, они хотят, чтобы вы мыслили нестандартно.

00:07:35,848 --> 00:07:37,688

Не хочу, конечно, встревать,

00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:39,188

но вместо того, чтобы мыслить нестандартно,

00:07:39,188 --> 00:07:40,518

может, вам следует думать...

00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:45,698

Говорить это - против моих правил,

00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,028

но вы знаете, что нам нужно делать.

00:07:47,028 --> 00:07:47,778

Рыцарский турнир!

00:07:47,778 --> 00:07:49,908

Нет, мы не можем ненавидеть друг друга по-семейному.

00:07:49,908 --> 00:07:52,288

Мы должны ненавидеть друг друга академически.

00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:54,578

Мы должны быть учителями друг друга.

00:07:54,578 --> 00:07:57,328

Тогда посмотри налево, а потом посмотри направо, ублюдок,

00:07:57,328 --> 00:07:59,748

потому что я зачислю твою задницу.

00:07:59,748 --> 00:08:02,998

Вы понимаете, что это такое? Это вся империя Герцога.

00:08:02,998 --> 00:08:05,838

Склады еды, секретные проходы и, эм,

00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:08,468

у него есть личное кафе в стиле 50-ых Боп Бопс.

00:08:08,468 --> 00:08:11,178

Мы можем опустошить запасы и отдать их остальных жителям.

00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:12,758

И никто не узнает, что это мы.

00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,058

Идеальное преступление

00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,728

Прямо как в "13 друзей Оушена".

00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,938

Это лучшая работа Эллиота Гулда с 70-ых.

00:08:17,938 --> 00:08:21,228

Еще он отлично поработал с "Друзьями".

00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:25,068

Сядьте и заткнитесь.

00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:28,568

Или клянусь Богом, что вы окажетесь на улице еще до обеда.

00:08:28,568 --> 00:08:30,818

Я буду говорить серьезно.

00:08:30,818 --> 00:08:34,868

Я уверена, что вы не знали, что Шекспир был первым рэпером.

00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:36,708

Шекспир жил на Седвик авеню

00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:39,578

с диджеем Кулом Герком в Бронксе до Сына Сэма?

00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:42,338

Да, конечно, именно поэтому поэмы Шекспира читаются как рэп.

00:08:42,338 --> 00:08:44,628

А еще он заработал кучу денег и брал за основу других писателей,

00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:45,628

не упоминая их.

00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,918

Да я сам как Шекспир.

00:08:46,918 --> 00:08:48,048

Ну конечно.

00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:52,008

Мой стиль преподавания пробивается сквозь твою эмоциональную броню.

00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:53,048

И как.

00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:05,148

Терри, я пытаюсь учиться. И тебе бы стоило.

00:09:05,148 --> 00:09:07,358

Я учусь. Учусь, как стать барабанщиком.

00:09:07,358 --> 00:09:08,398

Как в фильме "Одержимость".

00:09:08,398 --> 00:09:10,488

Ты осознаешь, что будет, если тебя выгонят из школы, Терри?

00:09:10,488 --> 00:09:12,818

Думаю, меня сейчас будут отчитывать?

00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,698

Нет, я думал, что школа привьет тебе дисциплину.

00:09:14,698 --> 00:09:16,078

Но ты не оставил мне выбора.

00:09:16,078 --> 00:09:17,748

Если тебя выгонят, то никакого телевизора,

00:09:17,748 --> 00:09:19,998

никаких видеоигр и никакой

00:09:19,998 --> 00:09:21,418

подписки на Хулу.

00:09:21,418 --> 00:09:23,078

Но у Нетфликса нет фильмов от Хулу,

00:09:23,078 --> 00:09:25,668

например, "Призрачная башня".

00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:28,298

Как мне узнать, что произойдет в Призрачной башне, Корво?

00:09:28,298 --> 00:09:29,378

Только так ты научишься.

00:09:29,378 --> 00:09:31,678

А ты не можешь сделать мне очки, чтобы я мог видеь через тела людей,

00:09:31,678 --> 00:09:32,678

чтобы я мог списывать?

00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:34,548

Ну конечно, но не для теста.

00:09:34,548 --> 00:09:36,848

Стоп. Я больше не помогаю тебе мухлевать.

00:09:36,848 --> 00:09:39,478

Ты должен справиться сам. Это будет твоя арка.

00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,558

Ладно. Хорошо.

00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:43,358

Пойду за книгами.

00:09:43,358 --> 00:09:46,068

Черт, я даже не могу использовать луч мудрости.

00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:47,228

Что мне делать?

00:09:47,608 --> 00:09:49,148

Пупа, не играй с лучом тупости.

00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:52,908

Если ты в кого-то выстрелишь, то они станут тупыми и веселыми...

00:09:52,908 --> 00:09:54,278

Как я.

00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:57,198

Эта человеческая математика такая простая.

00:09:57,198 --> 00:09:59,368

Они даже не знают цифр до нуля.

00:09:59,368 --> 00:10:01,458

- Что ты делаешь с лучом тупости?

- Я просто держу его.

00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:03,078

Стань тупым, ублюдок.

00:10:03,578 --> 00:10:05,498

Терри, мы должны использовать его только тогда,

00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:06,548

когда мы слишком думаем о чем-то.

00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:07,668

Сейчас именно это и происходит.

00:10:07,668 --> 00:10:10,048

Пожалуйста, не отупляй меня. Тогда мои подкасты будут бессмысленными.

00:10:10,048 --> 00:10:11,928

Если ты тупой и я тупой, то мы будет тупым вместе.

00:10:11,928 --> 00:10:13,138

Но это тупой план.

00:10:15,258 --> 00:10:17,348

Боже, Корво. Ты как?

00:10:23,648 --> 00:10:27,018

Эй, как ты себя чувствуешь?

00:10:27,018 --> 00:10:28,148

Ты теперь тупой?

00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:29,778

Я хочу посмотреть трилогию "Уж кто бы говорил"

00:10:29,778 --> 00:10:31,068

и есть хот-доги с кетчупом.

00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,608

Да! Сработало!

00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:38,028

Мне нравится пить столько пива, сколько могу.

00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,118

Я и сам так считаю, бро.

00:10:39,118 --> 00:10:40,908

Хочешь купить что-то из МакДональдса

00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,458

и смешать это в один комок,

00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,038

а потом съесть с помощью ножа и вилки?

00:10:44,038 --> 00:10:46,668

Да, миллион раз да.

00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,208

2Pac прямо как кислород,

00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:50,758

потому что он нам нужен для жизни,

00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:52,718

а Sisqo больше как плутоний,

00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,838

потому что его хватает лишь на раз,

00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:55,928

а потом мы о нем забываем.

00:10:55,928 --> 00:10:59,598

Вау, я даже не знал, что каждый предмет связан с рэпом.

00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:02,308

Это самое рэповое, что только можно было сказать.

00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:03,228

Пять с плюсом.

00:11:03,228 --> 00:11:05,898

Черт, у нас мало времени. Теперь моя очередь. Учи меня.

00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,648

Добро пожаловать в класс английского 101.

00:11:07,648 --> 00:11:09,318

Достаньте свои учебники.

00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:11,108

А тепер выбросите их!

00:11:11,108 --> 00:11:13,148

Нам они не нужны. Я буду учить от чистого сердца.

00:11:13,148 --> 00:11:15,948

Стоп. Ладно, достаньте их из мусорок.

00:11:15,948 --> 00:11:18,488

Наши задания будут основаны на тексте.

00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,408

- А теперь выбросите!

- Да ладно!

00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:22,658

Потусим у нас.

00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:26,118

Вечеринка начинается в любое время и до двух ночи.

00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:27,328

Мы старались.

00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,188

Хватайтесь. Держитесь.

00:11:47,188 --> 00:11:48,648

Паук! Не двигайтесь!

00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,028

Иди к черту, паук.

00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,658

Почему мы не назначили конкретное время начала?

00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:03,998

Люди постоянно приходят.

00:12:03,998 --> 00:12:05,578

Кто хочет посмотреть, как я разобью бутылку?

00:12:06,618 --> 00:12:07,418

Да!

00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,748

Коснитесь моей робы. Коснитесь моей чертовой робы.

00:12:11,418 --> 00:12:13,628

Ладно, у меня 95, у тебя 33.

00:12:13,628 --> 00:12:16,718

Мы сдали, а также мы были в школе все время.

00:12:16,718 --> 00:12:19,178

- Да, мы сделали это!

- Да!

00:12:20,598 --> 00:12:23,718

Я сказала, что мы были тут каждый день.

00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:26,768

Да, мы справились. Выходите уже.

00:12:26,768 --> 00:12:27,938

Чего вы ждете?

00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,518

Я думал, что они тут же повыскакивают отовсюду.

00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:34,278

Если только никто не следит за нами

00:12:34,278 --> 00:12:36,488

и когда они сказали, что мы не можем пропустить и дня,

00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,528

они имели в виду, что и остальные должны быть здесь.

00:12:38,528 --> 00:12:40,948

То есть, это все было бессмысленно?

00:12:40,948 --> 00:12:43,028

Похоже на то. И что теперь?

00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,538

Хочешь по-научному уничтожить эту школу?

00:12:44,538 --> 00:12:45,408

Черт возьми, да.

00:12:45,408 --> 00:12:47,158

Эй, аккуратнее!

00:12:52,128 --> 00:12:53,588

- О да! Ву-ху!

- Да!

00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:59,758

Ладно, кто-то должен прикрепить это к двери

00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:01,258

и убраться перед тем, как оно сдетонирует.

00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,848

Я учился избегать взрывов все свое свободное время,

00:13:03,848 --> 00:13:05,218

- думаю, у меня получится.

- Нет.

00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,928

Перед тем, как оказаться здесь, я работал в 7-Eleven.

00:13:07,928 --> 00:13:09,018

И работал я плохо.

00:13:09,018 --> 00:13:12,358

Я был грубым, а еще мочился в машину для коктейлей.

00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,648

Но тут все иначе. Здесь я могу умереть героем.

00:13:15,648 --> 00:13:16,608

Брайсон, я же только что сказал.

00:13:16,608 --> 00:13:18,568

Никто не умрет. Думаю, я смогу отскочить

00:13:18,568 --> 00:13:20,858

- до того, как все взорвется.

- Лучи славы!

00:13:20,858 --> 00:13:21,738

О черт.

00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:23,528

- Беги, беги, Брайсон!

- Брайсон, беги!

00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:25,038

Нет! У меня нет времени!

00:13:26,788 --> 00:13:28,038

Ладно, возможно, время есть...

00:13:28,038 --> 00:13:29,038

Брайсон!

00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,838

Черт возьми!

00:13:33,838 --> 00:13:35,548

Я жив.

00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,668

Но я ослеп.

00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:38,338

Ты должен был бежать. Почему ты не побежал.

00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:41,218

О нет, мне оторвало член.

00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:43,598

Я ослеп и у меня нет члена.

00:13:45,848 --> 00:13:47,768

Пожалуйста, уходите.

00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:50,978

Я ослеп и у меня нет члена.

00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:53,358

эй, я нашел его.

00:13:53,358 --> 00:13:56,568

Он был на месте. Просто ниже, чем я думал.

00:13:58,028 --> 00:13:59,528

Посмотри-ка сюда, Терри. Гляди.

00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:00,818

Подожди. Разве это не ты мне говорил,

00:14:00,818 --> 00:14:02,528

что нажимать на кнопки может быть опасно?

00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:04,408

Не будь таким занудой.

00:14:09,328 --> 00:14:12,118

- Видишь, все нормально.

- Я люблю тупого Корво.

00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,038

Корво, подойди и снюхай это с нами.

00:14:14,038 --> 00:14:16,838

О да, черт возьми!

00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,598

Ледяная лава.

00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:29,928

Так холодно.

00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:31,768

О боже, а потом все горит.

00:14:40,108 --> 00:14:41,488

Ха-ха, прекрати.

00:14:41,488 --> 00:14:43,778

Не стреляй в меня. Щекотно.

00:14:43,778 --> 00:14:45,408

Попалась.

00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,618

- Мы создали ледяную лаву?

- Не знаю. Может.

00:14:51,288 --> 00:14:52,288

Теперь ты водишь.

00:14:52,288 --> 00:14:53,868

Нечестно. Я отвлеклась.

00:14:55,538 --> 00:14:56,538

Корво, что нам делать?

00:14:56,538 --> 00:14:58,958

Горячей холодной лавы для заправки корабля все больше.

00:14:58,958 --> 00:15:00,668

Не волнуйся. Я знаю, что делать.

00:15:01,758 --> 00:15:03,548

Я нагибаю пришельца, бро.

00:15:03,548 --> 00:15:04,798

Прекрати быть тупым.

00:15:04,798 --> 00:15:06,298

Только ты разбираешься в ледяной лаве.

00:15:06,298 --> 00:15:07,468

Терри, я знаю, как все исправить.

00:15:07,468 --> 00:15:10,138

Надо просто посмотреть какую-нибудь трилогию.

00:15:10,138 --> 00:15:11,888

А тут все само исправится.

00:15:11,888 --> 00:15:13,688

У нас нет времени на трилогию.

00:15:13,688 --> 00:15:15,058

Кто знал, что если жизнь станет легче,

00:15:15,058 --> 00:15:16,438

а ты тупее, то стучится такое.

00:15:16,438 --> 00:15:18,938

Может, поможет вторая часть Матрицы. Их лучше смотреть не по порядку.

00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:20,478

Может, если я пойму, как починить луч мудрости,

00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,238

то я выстрелю в тебя и ты починишь корабль.

00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:24,738

Стой здесь. Я снова сделаю тебя умным.

00:15:24,738 --> 00:15:26,948

То, что я тупой, не значит, что я и глухой.

00:15:28,778 --> 00:15:29,988

Ну давай, давай.

00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:32,828

О да. Инструкция не такая уж и большая.

00:15:32,828 --> 00:15:34,038

Черт возьми!

00:15:34,038 --> 00:15:36,038

Ладно, Терри, у тебя получится.

00:15:36,038 --> 00:15:38,128

Концентрация. Учеба. Мозг.

00:15:38,128 --> 00:15:40,878

Черт, Морфиус, как эти гребаные очки

00:15:40,878 --> 00:15:41,758

вообще крепятся к твоему лицу?

00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:44,048

Я должен это видеть. Нет! Нет!

00:15:44,048 --> 00:15:44,878

Концентрация.

00:15:46,508 --> 00:15:48,718

Как только вы поймете, как перенаправить лаву...

00:15:48,718 --> 00:15:51,388

Посмотри, Терри. Я теперь гребаный Морфиус.

00:15:51,388 --> 00:15:52,468

Гляди.

00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:55,268

Думаю, я инвестирую в беговую лошадь, потому что я хочу в Кентуки,

00:15:55,268 --> 00:15:56,188

а еще носить старую шляпу.

00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,978

А еще у меня есть имя для этой лошади.

00:15:57,978 --> 00:15:59,768

Приготовься: Лошадиус.

00:15:59,768 --> 00:16:00,898

Это к тому, о чем мы говорили...

00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:02,028

Ты можешь заткнуться?

00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,818

Я никогда не пойму, как починить луч мудрости.

00:16:03,818 --> 00:16:05,778

Я прочитал только одну главу после лавового реактора.

00:16:05,778 --> 00:16:07,568

Черт возьми.

00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:10,408

Я случайно научился, как чинить лавовый реактор.

00:16:12,578 --> 00:16:14,908

Я просто хочу, чтобы ты знал, если я не справлюсь,

00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:17,998

то для меня было величайшей честью, что мы оказались на Земле вместе.

00:16:17,998 --> 00:16:19,498

Корво, я люблю тебя...

00:16:19,498 --> 00:16:21,918

Я врежу по пуле молотком, Терри. С-Ш-А!

00:16:21,918 --> 00:16:23,668

С-Ш-А! С-Ш-А!

00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,158

Черт возьми. Думаю, я починил.

00:16:50,158 --> 00:16:52,698

Я сделал что-то, не смухлевав.

00:16:52,698 --> 00:16:53,948

Что ты делаешь?

00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:55,368

Ой, я думал, что ты намекаешь мне на это.

00:16:55,368 --> 00:16:57,658

Что? Нет. Когда уже действите луча пройдет?

00:16:57,658 --> 00:16:59,618

- Я хочу бургеров.

- Я тоже так звучу все время?

00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,458

Терри, давай посмотрим все части "Обителя зла".

00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:02,378

Да, это я.

00:17:02,378 --> 00:17:04,298

О да.

00:17:04,298 --> 00:17:06,128

Мне так нравится последняя неделя летних каникул.

00:17:06,128 --> 00:17:08,428

Это такое прекрасное место, когда нет детей.

00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,888

После этого давай сделаем обратную наездницу в театре.

00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:12,428

А потом мы будем вылизывать друг друга.

00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:14,098

Но на мне открытые сандали.

00:17:15,098 --> 00:17:16,518

Что вы тут делаете?

00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:22,108

- О нет!

- Мы делали то, что вы говорили.

00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:25,278

Мы были за партой каждый день в 7 утра.

00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,898

И сколько времени вы тут провели?

00:17:26,898 --> 00:17:29,278

- Мы хорошие ученики. Мы...

- Мы вообще не опаздывали. Мы были вовремя.

00:17:29,278 --> 00:17:30,778

Простите. Простите нас.

00:17:30,778 --> 00:17:32,068

Подождите снаружи.

00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:35,658

Что, блять, с ними не так?

00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:37,038

Мне неважно, нравятся ли они друг другу.

00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:39,038

Мы не сказали им, что летом не надо приходить!

00:17:39,038 --> 00:17:40,538

Это было неправильно.

00:17:40,538 --> 00:17:42,918

Может, никто им не поверит. Их слово против нашего.

00:17:42,918 --> 00:17:44,588

Они увидели, как мы зависаем в столовой.

00:17:44,588 --> 00:17:46,418

Я почти что был готов засунуть язык тебе в задницу.

00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:47,708

О боже.

00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:49,468

Похоже, мы должны поступить правильно.

00:17:50,428 --> 00:17:53,048

Что вы хотите за молчание?

00:17:53,048 --> 00:17:53,758

Тысячу долларов?

00:17:53,758 --> 00:17:55,178

- Мы хотим пятерки, сучки.

- Мы хотим пятерки.

00:17:55,178 --> 00:17:57,268

- И это все? По какому предмету?

- По всем.

00:17:57,268 --> 00:18:00,438

То есть, мы дадим вам пятерки и вы забудете обо всем этом.

00:18:00,438 --> 00:18:02,648

Палец в заднице, игнор, лизание...

00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,108

Поздравляю. Вы теперь отличники.

00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:04,978

- Ву-ху!

- Да!

00:18:04,978 --> 00:18:06,148

- Отличники!

- Ву-ху!

00:18:07,278 --> 00:18:08,528

Мы были такими плохими.

00:18:18,038 --> 00:18:20,208

Мда, собрать прах моих жертв

00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:23,788

и сделать из него детей, оказывается, было отличным решением.

00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:25,998

У них будет второй раз в жизни, это здорово.

00:18:25,998 --> 00:18:26,918

А у вас как жизнь?

00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:29,008

Мы застали своим учителей за вылизыванием задниц,

00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,838

поэтому они поставили нам пятерки по всем предметам.

00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:32,178

И мы снова лучшие друзья.

00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,928

И у нас закончились хлопья.

00:18:33,928 --> 00:18:34,928

Я куплю завтра.

00:18:34,928 --> 00:18:37,598

Эй, не открывайте дверь в ванную, я там запер Корво,

00:18:37,598 --> 00:18:38,388

пока он не станет умным.

00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:40,018

Выпустите меня! Тут пришелец!

00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,428

О, подождите, это... Это мое отражение.

00:18:41,428 --> 00:18:43,308

Вау, он звучит таким тупым.

00:18:43,308 --> 00:18:45,518

Я выстрелил в него из луча тупости раз десять.

00:18:45,518 --> 00:18:47,648

О боже, он еще долго будет отходить.

00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:48,898

Поправляйся, Корво.

00:18:48,898 --> 00:18:51,318

Не спи лицом вниз, можешь задохнуться.

00:18:51,318 --> 00:18:54,358

Выпустите меня. Галь Гадот - ведьма, которую внудрили в американское общество,

00:18:54,358 --> 00:18:56,408

чтобы мы все забыли про рецессию 2008 года.

00:18:56,408 --> 00:18:57,988

Ладно, приятель, очень круто.

00:18:57,988 --> 00:19:00,158

Выпустите меня прямо сейчас! У меня заложник!

00:19:00,158 --> 00:19:01,248

Помогите, выпустите меня.

00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:03,828

Не волнуйтесь, это шутка. Я говорил обоими голосами. Подыграйте.

00:19:03,828 --> 00:19:05,538

Привет, что вы там делаете?

00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:06,788

Эй, потише.

00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,588

Тут пусто. Что-то не так.

00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:13,508

Ладно, надо выбираться отсюда.

00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,258

Какие же вы тупицы.

00:19:17,258 --> 00:19:20,018

И что ты сделаешь, Герцог? Убьешь нас? Нас больше.

00:19:21,848 --> 00:19:23,058

Понимаешь, Тим, мальчик мой,

00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:25,018

это ловушка.

00:19:25,018 --> 00:19:27,188

Энрике и я придумали все это.

00:19:27,188 --> 00:19:29,398

Карта, уточка, все.

00:19:29,398 --> 00:19:31,778

- Энрике, почему?

- Ты убил моего сына.

00:19:31,778 --> 00:19:35,358

Может, Герцог и нажал на курок, но ты втянул его во все это.

00:19:35,358 --> 00:19:36,868

Понимаешь, я человек правил.

00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:39,788

И правило заключается в том, чтобы все были в безопасности.

00:19:39,788 --> 00:19:42,198

Но когда кто-то нарушает эти правила,

00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:43,208

то его нужно наказать.

00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:46,078

Я придумал идеальное наказание.

00:19:46,078 --> 00:19:47,128

Дыра Бу Ху.

00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,748

Тим, ты слышал о Дыре Бу Ху?

00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:54,968

Не-ет!

00:19:54,968 --> 00:19:57,468

На тебя у меня другие планы, Тим.

00:20:01,058 --> 00:20:04,808

Эти пришельцы умнее людей в тысячи раз.

00:20:05,188 --> 00:20:07,848

Они достойные противники.

00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,818

Спасибо, что выпустили меня. Я чувствую себя умнее.

00:20:11,818 --> 00:20:12,858

Теперь я умный. Спасибо.

00:20:12,858 --> 00:20:15,238

Ладно, мы все верим, что ты умный.

00:20:15,238 --> 00:20:17,028

И мы все сегодня научились кое-чему,

00:20:17,028 --> 00:20:19,158

поэтому давайте соберемся и будем умными вместе.

00:20:19,158 --> 00:20:20,158

И поможем починить корабль.

00:20:20,158 --> 00:20:22,038

Так что там у тебя? Это смехы гипердвигателя?

00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:24,448

Джесси, хорошая попытка. У нас даже нет гипердвигателя.

00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:27,118

Нет, нет, нет, это мой сценарий для "Третий лишний 3" на 700 страниц.

00:20:27,118 --> 00:20:28,918

- Вы выскажете свое мнение.

- Черт, он все еще тупой.

00:20:28,918 --> 00:20:30,708

Фильм будет называться "T3D". Он даже не в 3D.

00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:32,748

Тед и Уолберг отправятся за сокровищам, встречая ведьму.

00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,508

Моя работа защищена авторским правом.

00:20:34,508 --> 00:20:36,418

Действите происходит в будущем мира Гарри Поттера,

00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:37,508

где каждый город - Бостон.

00:20:37,508 --> 00:20:38,838

Бен Аффлек и Мэт Деймон - президенты.

00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,218

У Papa John's хорошая пицца.

00:20:40,218 --> 00:20:41,808

Я буду профессиональным игроком в покер.

00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,218

Выпустите меня из этого чертового мешка. Выпустите меня!

00:20:44,218 --> 00:20:46,688

Как здорово делать что-то вместе, как семья.

00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:11,094

It's probably 'cause Yumyulack

did something to get us in trouble,

00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,387

as per "uush."

00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:15,056

Oh, you mean something awesome

you tattle on me for?

00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,059

- I'm no snitch!

- Then why are you getting stitches?

00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,104

Oh my God, shut up!

00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,523

You both ruined the school year

with your weird science.

00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,067

You trapped the chess team

in an alternative dimension,

00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,361

reanimated all the fetal pigs,

and we can't prove this,

00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:32,198

but we're reasonably confident that

you gave Miss Kim a three-month period

00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,825

after she took away your glowing orb.

00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,535

- Snitch!

- Not today!

00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:36,911

- Die! Die! Die!

- No, you don't. No, you don't.

00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,498

Yumyulack, out of 180 days

of school this year,

00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,584

you've been late 179 times.

00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,170

And Jesse, you've been late three times.

00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,714

- I'm a monster!

- It's true, she is.

00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:51,301

If either of you are ever late

or miss class ever again,

00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,761

then you will be expelled.

00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,221

Which means

you'll have to go to military school,

00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,348

where the bullies will fuck you.

00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,061

And they make you shave your head.

00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:05,648

- But my hair defines me.

- Then don't fuck up!

00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,528

Oh, it's so hot when you yell at children.

00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,156

I dump a Dixie cup worth

of fuck juice in my pants

00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,325

every time you put something

on their permanent record.

00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,786

Oh, that shit follows them to college.

00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,872

Brace yourself. I saw this on Starz.

00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,124

Oh, what the fu--!

00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,043

Terry, a-a little help.

00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,921

Really,

you're too lazy to even look at me?

00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,006

Ohh, I'm limiting myself

to three neck movements a day.

00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:30,924

I only got one left.

00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,885

We need to re-facet the dorsal prism,

the lavatic reactor needs more Aa,

00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,470

and you paired your phone

to the ship stereo

00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:36,763

and I don't know how to get it off.

00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,265

If I have to listen to the "Gone

in 60 Seconds" soundtrack one more time--

00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,642

Oh man, you know I'm too dumb to help.

00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,895

Just zap yourself with the smart ray.

It takes one second.

00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:47,899

Hard pass. Smart people are sad.

Wait. Wh-what are you doing?

00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,944

Terry, get back here.

Let me shoot you with the smart ray.

00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:54,572

- Ha ha!

- Terry!

00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,949

I didn't know it would break that easy.

00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,868

Hey, can you please trap Jesse

in the hell dimension? She sucks ass.

00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,579

No. That dimension is for work enemies

and Ansel Elgort only.

00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,456

And for trash when we forget

to put the bin out.

00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,999

Yumyulack got us in trouble again.

00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,418

And they for sure figured out

that shit with the orb.

00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,921

Can I just quit school?

What does it matter anyway?

00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,757

The Pupa is gonna evolve into

its true form and destroy this planet.

00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,717

Can't I just watch TV until that happens?

00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,803

- Pepsi.

- L-look, this thing is unpredictable.

00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,471

It could go off in a week or in a year.

00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,390

It just said "Pepsi."

Who knows what's going on with it.

00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,517

Goddammit, Terry, you're supposed

to know. You're the Pupa specialist.

00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,935

- Whatever.

- All right, you two, listen,

00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,020

school is important

and it makes you smart,

00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,273

and being smart is more important

than anything else ever.

00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,150

Korvo's stupid.

00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,403

School is important 'cause it's super-fun

and the stakes are super-low

00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,781

and there's tons of hot people there

who want to party-slash-do finger stuff.

00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,491

Wait, Terry, you like school?

00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,951

Heck yeah, dum-dums, school rules!

00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,744

Really? You know,

we could go to school too.

00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:42,704

Ah, I wish.

00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,373

There is a school for adults

behind the cement factory, Terry.

00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,000

- There is?

- Yes, we could go there.

00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,960

We could get smart

and compete for the teacher's approval.

00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,754

Or we could meet cool girls, join a frat,

and never work on the ship.

00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,840

Or you could learn responsibility,

become a better person,

00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,133

and help me with the ship.

00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:58,219

Terry and Korvo, going to school

for the exact same reasons.

00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,723

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,183

Until the asteroid hit.

00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,895

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,897

and escaped into, uh, the space,

00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,066

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,069

We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,696

That's right,

I've been talking this whole time.

00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,573

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,867

This is-- this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,368

This is ridiculous.

00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,705

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

People are stupid.

00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,248

The second you point out

Christ was an alien,

00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,541

they get all wound up

and start yelling at you,

00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,043

even though he did a bunch of alien stuff.

00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,128

Get with it. It's-- it's no big duh.

00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,679

Hey, do I look cool?

I think I look cool.

00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,182

- First day of school, baby. Whoo!

- Terry, stop acting like a spaz

00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,225

and just be cool like me.

00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:48,853

- Spooky robes are not cool.

- You're just jealous of my swish.

00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,023

God, that's so fucking cool.

00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:53,274

This is gonna be good for you, Terry.

00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,984

Maybe this will stop you

from being lazy all the time.

00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,444

You know, I'm not gonna

even respond to that

00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:58,154

because I'm too lazy

to think of a response.

00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,782

Then why in God's name are you

so excited to be at the school?

00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492

Because I love classic college movies,

00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,662

like "Monsters University,"

"PCU," and "The Skulls."

00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,206

My plan is to do cool movie stuff

and then just cheat off you

00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,249

at the end of the semester.

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,751

You know, you need to learn to not take

shortcuts all the time, Terry.

00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,962

How's that for me teeing up

an episode arc for your character?

00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,089

You're the one who wanted me

to zap myself with the smart gun.

00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,549

Now that's an example of an appropriate

use of corner cutting, and I'll te--

00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,551

No, I won the argument.

Better hurry or you're gonna be late.

00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,178

And then you'll have

to take a shortcut to class,

00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,389

and I know how much you hate those.

00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,182

I like my notes in blue ink!

00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,022

Make way for my peep, beggar!

00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,275

Not so fast!

00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,694

- Get his bag.

- What the hell?

00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,990

- Well, this is interesting.

- That belongs to The Duke.

00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,659

- Not anymore.

- You're dead! You're all dead!

00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,369

Like my son, you tiny bastard!

00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,496

- No! We don't kill.

00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:51,749

That's what separates us

from the people that do kill.

00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,668

We don't-- We do the opposite

of what they do.

00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,378

In terms of killing, we don't.

00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,504

Got it?

00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,632

Hello!

00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,803

- Fellow students, teachers, anyone?

- Today's been a great day.

00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,763

No one's called me a "gay-lien,"

00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,390

and I didn't have to hide in the bathroom

and pretend to have a butthole.

00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,851

- Yeah, because nobody's here.

- Wait, what?

00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,229

Oh my God. I didn't even notice.

What the hell?

00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,231

I think we're being tested.

00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,693

Principal Cooke is trying to see

if we'll be late or go to class

00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,445

even when nobody's watching us.

00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:24,532

This must be what summer school is.

An intense psychological mind game,

00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,368

not unlike the Academy award-winning film

"Suicide Squad."

00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,788

- So don't get in my way!

- You don't get in my way, buster.

00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,416

This is about to be

the most epic challenge of our lives.

00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,917

I don't want you messing me up.

00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,774

His name was Charles Paulson Ginsburg,

00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:02,320

but you may know him as the father

of the video cassette recorder.

00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,822

I know him as the father of me.

00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,910

Kegger at my place tonight.

Real college experience.

00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,245

Beers and shots and we might

even steal a police horse.

00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,705

I'd have to get a baby-sitter.

00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,375

Well, bring them kids, girl.

We don't ID at Casa de Terry's.

00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,334

Terry, shut up.

00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,961

Delores, you gonna come

and get tore up at my party?

00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,256

I have to go home and watch "NCIS."

00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,257

This sucks.

00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,511

No one's appreciated or even mentioned

that I'm dressed exactly like Van Wilder,

00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,637

you know, the mentor of Taj.

00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,015

- Will you please pay attention?

- That's your job. Mine is to be awesome.

00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,767

I just missed what the C in VCR means.

00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,560

- It could mean anything.

- Man, this is bullshit.

00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,396

College is supposed to be

about partying all night

00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,439

and getting into legal trouble

but my dad's a lawyer,

00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,316

so I'm walking away scot-free.

00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,026

Guess I have to step up my game.

00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,489

Ohh! Hey, hey, whoa, look out!

Hey, I'm the Frisbee guy.

00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,866

Now let's say

I have to repair a DVD player.

00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,620

- Is that the same as the VCR?

- Ohh, I wish I knew it.

00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,206

Terry, stop it. Nobody likes Frisbee.

You look like an idiot.

00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,542

Hey, does the Frisbee match the drapes?

00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,502

I don't know, do you have

the balls to find out?

00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,177

Thank God we got the mattress

with the fabric-encased coils.

00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,221

Otherwise, I'd be bouncing

all over the place.

00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,725

Class is starting soon, Terry.

Were you out all night partying again?

00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,145

Oh yeah, I was out all night

looking for a party.

00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,188

Rumor had it the swim team

was raging at The Rock

00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,857

but it was just two homeless guys dancing.

00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,651

Ugh. So Jesse, Yumyulack,

how's school going for you two?

00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,612

I'm in the middle of this

complicated psychological test

00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,282

not unlike the Academy award-wining film

"Suicide Squad."

00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,201

Yeah. And none of the teachers are there

to tell us what to do.

00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,828

I'm sure that's all part of the test.

00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,830

Probably just trying to get you

to think outside the box.

00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,623

Oh, oh, oh, I don't mean

to live más right now

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,125

but instead of thinking outside the box,

00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,877

maybe they should be thinking

outside the--

00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,631

Saying this goes against every fiber

of my brotherness,

00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,966

but you know what we have to do.

00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:47,884

Knife fight!

00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,844

No, we can't hate each other

like siblings.

00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:54,515

We have to hate each other academically.

We have to be each other's teachers.

00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,268

Well, then look to your left

and look to your right, motherfucker,

00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,729

'cause I'm about to matriculate your ass.

00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,940

Do you realize what this is?

This has The Duke's whole empire.

00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,776

Food caches, secret passages, and ugh,

00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,404

he has his own personal '50s diner

called Bop Bops.

00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,157

We can empty the stockpile

and redistribute to the rest of the wall.

00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,951

And nobody will know it was us.

It's the perfect crime.

00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,703

Just like in "Ocean's Thirteen."

00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,872

It's Elliott Gould's best work

since the '70s.

00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:21,209

Guys, he was also great on "Friends."

00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,046

Everyone, sit down and shut up,

00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,508

or I swear to God I'll have you

back on the streets before lunch.

00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,760

I am gonna get real with you.

00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,847

I bet you didn't know

Shakespeare was the original rapper.

00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,641

Oh, did Shakespeare live

on Sedgwick Avenue

00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:39,560

with DJ Kool Herc in the Bronx

five years before the Son of Sam?

00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,271

Yeah, sure, that's why

Shakespeare's writing is like rap.

00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,565

Plus he made a bunch of money

and sampled other playwrights

00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,608

without giving them any credit.

00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,027

- This makes me like Shakespeare.

- Of course it does.

00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:52,114

My tough-yet-relatable teaching style

is breaking through your emotional armor.

00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,032

And how.

00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,083

Aah!

00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:05,127

Terry, I'm trying to study,

which is what you should be doing.

00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,089

I am. I'm studying how to get into

a drumline, like in that movie "Whiplash."

00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,466

Do you have any idea what happens

if you fail out of school, Terry?

00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,802

I assume it's some type

of spanking situation.

00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,637

No, I thought school would give you

some discipline.

00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,682

Instead, you've left me no other choice.

If you fail, no more TV,

00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:21,352

no more video games, and no more Hulu,

the subscription-based service.

00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,020

But Netflix doesn't have

the Hulu production

00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,481

of the Hulu presentation

of "The Looming Tower."

00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,234

How do I know what happens

about "The Looming Tower," Korvo.

00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,360

That's the only way you'll learn.

00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,612

Can't you just make me glasses that

allow me to see through people's bodies

00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,655

so I can cheat off of them.

00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,490

Obviously yes,

but not in time for the test.

00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,784

Wait, no, I-I'm not helping you

cut corners anymore.

00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,579

You have to do this on your own.

That's that arc popping its head up again.

00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,497

Argh! Okay. Fine.

00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,332

I'll go get my books.

00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:46,043

Dammit, I can't even shoot myself

with the smart ray.

00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,545

What am I gonna do?

00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,130

Pupa, you know you can't play

with the dumb ray.

00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,925

If you shoot anyone,

they'll become... super dumb and fun.

00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,302

Like me.

00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,138

Hah! This human math

is honestly very easy.

00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,307

They haven't even found the number

that comes before zero.

00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,934

- What are you doing with the dumb ray?

- I'm holding it.

00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,519

Get dumb, motherfucker.

00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,438

Terry, we're only supposed

to use that in emergencies,

00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,522

when we're overthinking things.

00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,648

That's what's happening right now.

00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,151

Please don't make me dumb. None of

my podcasts are gonna make any sense.

00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,902

If you're dumb and I'm dumb,

then we can be dumb together.

00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,529

But that plan is dumb.

00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:14,488

Ow!

00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,533

Oh my gosh, Korvo. Are you okay?

00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,959

Hey, bud, how you feeling?

00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,044

Are you dumb now?

00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,130

I wanna watch the "Look Who's Talking"

trilogy and eat hot dogs with ketchup.

00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,590

Yeah! Dab it!

00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,970

I love getting beer in my body

as fast as I can.

00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,096

Preaching to the choir, bro.

00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,015

Do you wanna buy everything

on the McDonald's menu

00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,391

and smoosh it together into a big ball

00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,018

and then eat it with a knife

and fork with me?

00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,646

Yes, a million times, yes.

00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,691

2Pac is like oxygen

because we need him to live,

00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,652

while Sisqo is more like plutonium

00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,779

because he was kinda just

a one-hit wonder

00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,238

that we've forgotten about.

00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,575

Wow, I never realized that

every school subject is basically rap.

00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,370

That's the most rap thing

you've said all day.

00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:03,412

A plus.

00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,831

Oh crap. We're running out of time.

It's my turn. Teach me now.

00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:09,251

Well, welcome to English 101.

Everyone, pick up your textbook.

00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:13,130

Now throw it out! We won't be needing it.

I teach from the heart.

00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,925

Wait. Actually, go grab it from the trash.

00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,594

Yeah, we're gonna rely heavily

on the text.

00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,389

- Now throw it out!

- Oh, come on!

00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,640

Rager at our place.

00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:26,102

Party starts at triple question marks

and goes till 2:00 a.m.

00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,269

We have a hard out.

00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,164

Grab onto here. Hold here.

00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,624

Spider! Nobody move.

00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,047

Fuck you, spider.

00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,596

Ugh, why did we start the party

at triple question mark?

00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,931

People have been rolling in all day.

00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,516

Who wants to see me smash this bottle.

00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,977

Yeah!

00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,730

Touch my robes.

Someone touch my fucking robes.

00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,566

Okay, I got a 95, you got a 33.

00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:16,652

Ah, we passed, and we were

at school every single day.

00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,155

- Yeah, we did it!

- Yay!

00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:23,743

I said we were here every day!

00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,704

Hey, we did it.

You can come out now.

00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,956

What are you waiting for?

00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,542

Huh. You'd think they'd be raring

to get out here.

00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,211

Unless nobody's been watching us

00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,422

and when they said we couldn't miss

a day of school,

00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,215

they meant when everyone else

was here too.

00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,926

So we got along this whole time

for no reason?

00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,012

I guess so. So, now what?

00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,472

You wanna trash the school

with sci-fi stuff?

00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,389

Fuck yeah.

00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,141

Hey, watch out!

00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,564

- Ooh, yeah. Whoo!

- Yeah!

00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,695

All right, one of us has

to attach this to the door

00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,238

and get away before it detonates.

00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,783

I've been practicing avoiding explosions

in my free time,

00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,201

- so I think I can pull it off.

- No.

00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:09,622

In the before-fore, I was

a 7-Eleven employee. A really bad one.

00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,291

I was mean to everyone, and I used

to piss in the Slurpee machine.

00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,628

But things are different in here.

In here, I can die a hero.

00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,754

Bryson, I just told you.

00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,506

Nobody has to die,

because I think I can jump away

00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,841

- well before the explosion--

- Blaze of glory!

00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,301

Oh shit.

00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:23,511

- Run! Run, Bryson!

- Bryson, run!

00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,012

No! There's no time.

00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,015

Oh, okay. Actually, there may--

00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,016

- Aah!

- Bryson!

00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,771

Holy shit!

00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,481

Ah. I'm alive.

00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,816

But I'm blind.

00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,275

You should have run.

Why didn't you run?

00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:43,781

Oh no, my dick got blown off.

I'm blind and I have no dick.

00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,658

- Oh.

- Uh--

00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,701

Please, just leave.

00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,996

I'm blind and I have no dick.

00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,290

Hey, I found it.

00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,544

It was there all along.

Just lower than I thought.

00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:59,213

Check this out, Terry. Watch.

00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,965

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't you always tell me

00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,591

that pressing buttons on the ship

can be dangerous?

00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,385

Don't be a little beeyatch.

00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:12,059

- See, it's fine.

- Man, I love dumb Korvo.

00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,019

Dude, Korvo, get over here

and snort this with us.

00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,856

Oink-oink, mother-fuckah!

00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,534

Ice lava.

00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,869

It's freezing.

00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,787

Oh my God and then it burns.

00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,422

Ha ha, stop.

00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,757

Don't laser me. That tickles.

00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,010

Oh, I got you now.

00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,973

- Did we make ice lava?

- I don't know. Maybe.

00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,016

- Ohh!

- You're it.

00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,059

No fair. I was distracted.

00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,520

Korvo, what do we do?

00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,898

The hot cold lava that powers the ship

is getting on everyone.

00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,608

Don't worry, I know what to do.

00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,485

I'm boning an alien, bro.

00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,280

Stop being dumb. You're the only one

who knows about ice lava.

00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,364

Terry, I know how to fix it.

00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,075

We just kick back

and watch some movie trilogies.

00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,869

Th-this whole thing

will sort itself out on its own.

00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,621

We don't have time for even one trilogy.

00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:14,997

Ugh. Who would have thought

cutting corners

00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,415

and making you dumb

would blow up like this.

00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,876

Maybe the second "Matrix" movie

will help. They're better out of order.

00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,419

Maybe if I can learn

how to fix the smart gun,

00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,171

I can zap you back

into fixing the ship.

00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,673

Stay here. I will make you smart again.

00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,926

Hey, just 'cause I'm dumb

doesn't mean that I'm deaf.

00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,179

Come on. Come on.

00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,723

Ah, yes. Hey, the manual isn't too big.

00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,016

Aah! Ah, crap.

00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,976

Okay, Terry, you can do this.

00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,062

Focus. Learn. Be smart.

00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,814

Damn, Morpheus, how'd you get

those motherfucking sunglasses

00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:41,815

to stick to your face?

00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,026

Ooh, I gotta see that. No! No!

00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,361

Focus.

00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,656

Ooh!

Once you know how to reroute the lava--

00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,325

Check it out, Terry,

I'm a fucking Morpheus now.

00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,451

Watch out.

00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,204

I think we should invest in a racehorse

because I want to go to Kentucky

00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,205

and wear a big old hat,

00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,915

and also I've got a great name

for a racehorse.

00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,708

Get ready. Horseus.

00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,876

From the thing

we were just talking about--

00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:01,961

Will you shut the hell up?

00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,629

I'm never gonna learn

how to repair the smart gun.

00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,756

I'm only one chapter past

the lavatic reactor.

00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,549

Oh, holy crapsters.

00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,970

I accidentally learned how to repair

the lavatic reactor.

00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,848

I just want you to know

if I don't make it out of this,

00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,977

it has been the great honor of my life

to come to Earth with you.

00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,478

Korvo, I love you--

00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,897

I'm gonna go hit a bullet

with a hammer, Terry. U-S-A!

00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,649

U-S-A! U-S-A!

00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,134

Holy shit. I think I fixed it.

00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,636

I actually did something

without taking a shortcut.

00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,846

W-w-what are you doing?

00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,556

Hey, whoa, whoa, I thought

you were sending signals.

00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,599

What? No. Man, when does

the dumb ray wear off?

00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,560

- I want White Castle.

- Is this what I sound like all the time?

00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,395

Whoa, Terry, let's watch

all the "Resident Evils."

00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,354

Yeah, that's me.

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:04,273

Oh yes.

00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,066

God, I love the last week

of summer break.

00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,360

This place is so nice

when the kids are gone.

00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,821

After this, let's do reverse cowgirl

in the theater.

00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,364

Then we're ass-eating in the chem lab.

00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,033

But I'm wearing open-toed sandals.

00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,286

- Whoo!

- What the fuck are you doing here?

00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,041

- Oh no!

- We did what you said.

00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,252

We've been in our chairs

every day at 7 a.m.

00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,879

How long have you been here on your own?

00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,173

- We're good students. We did--

- We were never late. We were on time.

00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,758

Mercy. Show us mercy.

00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,092

Go wait outside.

00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,930

What the fuck is wrong with those two?

I don't care if they like each other.

00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:40,350

We didn't tell them to come in all summer!

This is clearly abuse.

00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,895

Maybe no one will believe them.

It's their word against ours.

00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,521

They found us humping in the lunch room.

00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,440

I was about to stick

my tongue up your ass.

00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,443

Oh, Jesus.

I guess we have to do the right thing.

00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,780

Okay, what will it take for you

to keep your mouth shut?

00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:53,739

A thousand dollars?

00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,157

- We want A's, bitches.

- We want A's.

00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,326

- That's it? In what?

- In everything.

00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,370

So we give you the A's and we forget

that this whole thing ever happened.

00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,581

Finger in the ass, the neglect,

the eating of a--

00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,041

Congrats.

You're both on the honor rolls.

00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:04,958

- Woo-hoo!

- Yeah!

00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,293

- Honor roll, dude!

- Woo-hoo!

00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:08,462

We've been bad.

00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,140

Man, gathering up

the ashes of my victims

00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,727

and reconstituting them into babies is

way more work than I thought it would be.

00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,938

But, hey, they get a second chance

at life, so that's cool.

00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,022

What's up with you dorks?

00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,941

We caught the teachers

eating each other's asses,

00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,776

so they gave us A's in all our classes.

00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:33,862

And we're best friends again.

And we're out of Frosted Flakes.

00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,072

I'll pick some up tomorrow.

00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,533

Hey, uh, don't open the bathroom door

because I locked Korvo in there

00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,534

until he gets smart again.

00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,119

Let me out of here!

There's an alien in here!

00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,411

Oh, wait, that's--

it's just me in the mirror.

00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,288

Wow, he sounds really stupid.

00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,499

Yeah, I shot him with the dumb gun

like 10 times.

00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,626

Oh geez, that will take forever

to wear off.

00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:48,961

Feel better, Korvo.

00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,255

Don't sleep face down

or you might suffocate.

00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:54,299

Let me out. Gal Gadot is a witch

that was put into American society

00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,343

to make us all forget

about the 2008 recession.

00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,011

Okay, buddy, very cool.

00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,097

Let me out right now!

I-I-I've got a hostage in here.

00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,390

Help me, let me out.

00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,767

Don't worry, it's a joke.

I'm doing both voices. Play along.

00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,477

'Ello, what are you two doing in here?

00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,770

Shh, hey, be quiet.

00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,652

- It's empty. No, this is all wrong.

- Come on, we have to get out of here.

00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,030

You stupid fucks.

00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,992

What are you gonna do, Duke,

take us all on? You're outnumbered.

00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,036

You see, Tim, my boy,

00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,997

this was the trap.

00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:29,376

Enrique and I set up the whole thing.

The map, the Peep, everything.

00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,545

- Enrique, why?

- You killed my son.

00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:35,007

The Duke might have pulled the trigger,

but you dragged him into this whole thing.

00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,800

See, I'm a man of rules.

00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,720

It's rules that keep everyone alive

in the wall.

00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:43,182

But when someone breaks said rules,

you need a punishment.

00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,018

I found the perfect form of punishment.

00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,102

The Boo Hoo Hole.

00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,730

Tim, you ever heard

of the Boo Hoo Hole.

00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,943

Noooo!

00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,905

I have different plans for you, Tim.

00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:04,786

These genius aliens are a billion times

smarter than any man.

00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,831

They are truly worthy adversaries.

00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,668

Thank you for letting me out.

I'm feeling much smarter.

00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:12,836

I'm smart now. Thank you.

00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,088

Okay, we're all trusting you

to be smart.

00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,965

And we all learned a lesson today,

00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,092

so let's all buckle down

and be smart together

00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,177

and help repair the ship.

00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,012

What've you got there?

Are those hyperdrive plans?

00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,389

Oh, Jesse, nice try.

We don't even have a hyperdrive.

00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,100

No, no, no, this is

my 700-page screenplay for "Ted 3."

00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,852

- You all have to give me notes.

- Oh, fuck, he's still dumb.

00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,646

It's called "T3D."

- It's not in 3

- D though.

00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,689

Ted and Wahlberg go on a treasure hunt

and meet a witch.

00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,441

I copyrighted this with WGA-North.

00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,486

It takes place in the Harry Potter world

in the future, where every city is Boston.

00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,197

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are president.

Papa John's has cool pizza.

00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,782

I'm gonna be a professional poker player.

00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,243

Let me out of the ropy bag.

Free me from the ropy bag.

00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,162

It's nice to do stuff as a family.

00:00:03,941 --> 00:00:05,943

ВЫПУСКНОЙ ОТМЕНЁН

ВОЗВРАТОВ НЕ БУДЕТ

00:00:05,943 --> 00:00:07,527

МИСТЕР КУК

00:00:36,932 --> 00:00:42,604

МИСТЕР КУК

00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:53,573

МИСТЕР КУК

00:00:58,495 --> 00:01:01,081

МИСТЕР КУК

00:01:07,546 --> 00:01:17,848

МИСТЕР КУК

00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:26,231

ИНСТРУМЕНТЫ

00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:30,944

ЕСТЬ МИЛФА?

00:03:14,506 --> 00:03:32,148

ПРОДАНО

00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,202

МЛАДШИЙ КОЛЛЕДЖ ИМЕНИ

ЛУИСА ГОССЕТТА МЛАДШЕГО

00:04:24,826 --> 00:04:26,202

МЛАДШИЙ КОЛЛЕДЖ ИМЕНИ

ЛУИСА ГОССЕТТА МЛАДШЕГО

00:04:39,966 --> 00:04:40,925

СХРОН С ЕДОЙ

БОРДЕЛЬ

00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:59,652

{\an8}ПОСЛЕДНИЙ УЧЕБНЫЙ ДЕНЬ!

ХОРОШЕГО ЛЕТА!

00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:59,652

ВЫПУСКНОЙ ОТМЕНЁН

ВОЗВРАТОВ НЕ БУДЕТ

00:04:59,652 --> 00:05:01,404

СПАСИБО ЗА ОТЛИЧНЫЙ УЧЕБНЫЙ ГОД!

00:05:01,404 --> 00:05:03,823

ВАС ТУТ НЕ ДОЛЖНО БЫТЬ!

КАНИКУЛЫ ТРИ МЕСЯЦА!

00:05:54,707 --> 00:05:57,293

МЛАДШИЙ КОЛЛЕДЖ ИМЕНИ

ЛУИСА ГОССЕТТА МЛАДШЕГО

00:05:57,293 --> 00:06:04,842

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ НА "ТЕОРЕТИЧЕСКИЙ

КУРС РЕМОНТА ТВ И VCR"

00:06:16,437 --> 00:06:18,982

ПРИХОДИТЕ ПОТРЯСТИ КОСТЯМИ!

00:06:42,797 --> 00:06:44,382

МЛАДШИЙ КОЛЛЕДЖ ИМЕНИ

ЛУИСА ГОССЕТТА МЛАДШЕГО

00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:58,396

МЛАДШИЙ КОЛЛЕДЖ ИМЕНИ

ЛУИСА ГОССЕТТА МЛАДШЕГО

00:08:21,229 --> 00:08:23,022

{\an8}ПОСЛЕДНИЙ УЧЕБНЫЙ ДЕНЬ!

ХОРОШЕГО ЛЕТА!

00:08:21,229 --> 00:08:23,022

ВЫПУСКНОЙ ОТМЕНЁН

ВОЗВРАТОВ НЕ БУДЕТ

00:09:54,238 --> 00:09:55,905

ОТУПИТЕЛЬ

00:10:03,789 --> 00:10:04,206

БИБЛИЯ

00:10:46,665 --> 00:10:47,833

{\an8}ПОСЛЕДНИЙ УЧЕБНЫЙ ДЕНЬ!

ХОРОШЕГО ЛЕТА!

00:10:46,665 --> 00:10:47,833

ВЫПУСКНОЙ ОТМЕНЁН

ВОЗВРАТОВ НЕ БУДЕТ

00:12:56,170 --> 00:13:01,258

ЕДА

00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:04,405

ВНИМАНИЕ

ОПАСНОСТЬ

00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:12,913

ВНИМАНИЕ

ОПАСНОСТЬ

00:14:40,107 --> 00:14:41,066

БИБЛИОТЕКА

00:15:08,177 --> 00:15:11,889

МАТРИЦА

00:19:58,925 --> 00:20:02,470

ЕДА

00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:41,003

Запасы еды

00:05:57,293 --> 00:06:04,833

Добро пожаловать на теоретический курс по ремонту ТВ и видиков

00:10:03,073 --> 00:10:03,703

Молекулярная биология

00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,203

Библия

00:13:59,523 --> 00:14:01,463

Предупреждение об опасности

00:14:40,283 --> 00:14:41,063

Библиотека