Вернуться-По-Своим-Следам-Инатор

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MAN [on tablet]: You are no longer

Abraham Lincoln, US president.

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You are now Abraham Lincoln,

car fighter.

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Fuck yes.

Okay, let's go.

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- KORVO: Terry!

- Can't talk, working out.

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This is important.

The-the-the Pupa turned orange.

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And?

Hey, you broke my Hulu Vizu!

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The Pupa is not supposed to be orange.

It's Pantone 101-C.

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- What does it mean?

- How the hell am I supposed to know?

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Because it's your job, Terry.

I fix the ship, you take care of the Pupa.

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Right, yes, that is my job.

Fair.

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Once this thing evolves into

its ultimate form,

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it'll consume everything on this planet

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and terraform it

to become our new home world.

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- Duh.

- Which means we'll get eaten

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and terraformed with everything else,

I think.

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What if it turning orange is

the first step to total annihilation?

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Wait, I-I-I think it feels hot.

Is that important?

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No, it's always hot.

Luckily, I'm a genius

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and suspected you were incapable

of handling this

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so I made a little card

with important Pupa information on it.

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I have it in my wallet.

Just gotta find it.

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Damn it, where did I put my--

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when was the last time I needed

Shlorpian money to pay for something?

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Wa-wa-wa-was it at that Armenian deli?

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Whoa, it was on Shlorp!

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But the home world blew up

in the opening credits.

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Which leaves us no choice.

I must use the Retrace-Your-Stepalizer

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device to travel back in time,

return to the home world,

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and find my wallet.

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Eh, I'm gonna pass.

That sounds like a lot of work

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and the Pupa's never killed everybody

on Earth before, so...

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- Oh, it's gonna blow!

- Ah!

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KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia

until the asteroid hit.

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One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

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and escaped into, uh, the space,

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searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

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We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already over-populated planet.

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That's right, I've been talking

this whole time.

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I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

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This is, this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa.

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Do you see me?

[stammers] This is ridiculous.

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I hate Earth.

It's a horrible home.

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People are stupid.

Where the fuck are all the dinosaurs?

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What did they do to all the dinosaurs?

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♪ dramatic music playing ♪

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♪

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So, uh, where's

the retruce-von-something geyser?

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Does it look like a spaceship

with a big clock on the back?

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The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer.

It's high-tech shoes

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that allow the wearer to travel

back in time

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to places they've stood in the past.

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These things cost $11 billion a shoe.

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- Do they light up?

- Mine do.

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- Oh, why do you get the cool ones?

- Because I'm in charge.

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The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer

has a specific set of instructions.

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Failure to comply could result

in catastrophic outcomes

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for the space-time continuum.

Do you understand, Terry?

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- Shoes with rules. Got it.

- Rule number one.

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While using the Retrace-Your-Stepalizers,

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no one in the past

will be able to see or hear us.

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Two, we can only stay in the past

for eight hours or we'll turn into slime.

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Three, we can't learn anything new...

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TERRY: Note to self, the pretzel bite

is the most underrated appetizer.

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Someone should say something

to whoever is making those menus.

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Those pesky menus.

Some of them are too long.

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Too many items.

That's why I don't eat Chinese.

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-No other reason--

- Are you listening to me?

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Yeah, yeah, slime, keep going.

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Jesse, ugh, you left the

Pretend-O-Deck open again.

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AISHA: Welcome back to the

Pretend-O-Deck, Yumyulack.

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Hey, Aisha, play the last program

that Jesse was running.

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AISHA: Well, that's an invasion

of her privacy, don't you think?

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Yeah, that's why it's gonna be awesome.

Override protocol.

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Password: Panera Bread with

3's for the E's.

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AISHA: Override accepted.

Resuming last program, you little creep.

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Hello, Jesse, I'm Funyulack.

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Want to continue our awesome

makeover montage?

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We left off on a cowboy outfit.

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What the hell is this?

What are you supposed to be?

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I'm Funyulack.

I'm exactly like you,

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but funner and nicer and I know

how to braid and bake bread.

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Jesse's got a nicer me in here?

That's impossible.

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Every time I walk into a room,

someone says, "Oh, great."

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Well, Jesse thinks you're a dick.

She said one time--

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[Jesse's voice]

He tried to trade me to a witch for a PS4.

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Yeah, but she wouldn't take the deal.

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You can't complain about almost

being traded to a witch.

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[Jesse's voice] He makes fun

of the way I walk and breathe.

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[chuckles]

Come on.

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Have you ever watched her walk?

It's all clop, clop, clop, gasp, gasp.

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[normal voice] I like the way she walks.

Shoot me.

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- I think it's elegant.

- Then why don't you two get married?

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- I wish.

- Gross!

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This is messed up.

I'm super nice.

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I guess I'll have to force Jesse

to like me with Craig T. and Nelson.

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Rule 58, don't fall in love with

anyone in the past

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or we'll turn into slime.

Are you sleeping?

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Uh, don't touch anything

or we turn into slime.

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I wish I could touch stuff in the past,

but it-it doesn't work like that.

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- It's more like we're ghosts.

- Uh, well then,

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how are we getting your wallet?

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We'll have to use

the Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.

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♪ dramatic musical flourish ♪

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Wow, that came from the homeworld?

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Uh, kind of just looks like

a stick with a spork.

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You know, you're supposed to get

a license to use one of these,

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but that office blew up,

so we should be fine.

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And now, it's time to retrace our steps.

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[dramatic whooshing]

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♪

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Beautiful Shlorp.

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Oh, how I've missed this wonderful

strict totalitarian place.

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TERRY: A lot smaller than I remember.

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Ah, I never thought I'd see

my old quarters again.

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Oh, God, I made love to

a lot of equations in here.

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Oh, you fucked math?

Rad.

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[gasps]

It's young you.

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Damn, girl, you used to be way skinnier.

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Oh, seriously, stand next to yourself. See

the difference. You have let yourself go!

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Look, you left the wallet on the table.

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Oh, that's perfect, Terry.

I will now use the stick

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to hit the wallet into our ship

at the space port.

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It should then be in the ship

when we return to the present.

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Are you missing on purpose

just to make me giggle?

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- Stop watching me.

- It's working.

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Don't watch me do this.

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♪ bright music playing ♪

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Oh, hello, little one.

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Would you like a stale cookie

from a rusty tin?

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[dramatic whooshing]

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Where am I?

Are we dead?

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-[deep voice] Good afternoon, Lorraine.

- Ah!

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I know that you've lost

many things over the years.

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Your children moved away.

Your husband is gone.

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Even your friends have died.

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All you have left are your memories.

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This is your chance, Lorraine.

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I can access your mind and show you

anything you've ever seen.

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Is there something you've lost

that you can't remember

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which I can give you?

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I can't remember the face of my mother.

I just wish I could see her one last time.

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[dramatic whooshing]

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♪ serene music playing ♪

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♪

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Everyone is so relaxed

even though they're about to explode.

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Truly the mark of an advanced society.

Except for the panic zones.

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I have resigned myself to death,

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although I will miss my friends

and family when I'm gone.

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Oof, that guy's embarrassing himself.

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Hey, we're almost at the space port.

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We just need to smack this bad boy

into the hatch and we'll be done.

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You got this, boy!

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Damn it!

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Hey, mission accomplished.

Now let's get back.

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I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.

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[dramatic whooshing]

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Finally, some answers about the Pupa.

All right. [clears throat]

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If your Pupa turns orange,

it means it ate something orange.

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Well, I did feed it a bag

of Doritos Cheetos party blast.

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You know, the same stuff that turned

me orange when I ate it last year.

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This is a relief. We aren't going

to get consumed by the Pupa,

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at least not today, and we changed

the past without creating

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a single unintended butterfly effect.

So we really slam dunked it.

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- Look at us, we're ballers.

- We are ballers, ho ho.

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Hey, futtbuckers!

Ha ha! We're outta Stella.

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♪ dramatic musical flourish ♪

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Is somebody gonna go, uh, replenish?

00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,928

Wait, what?

Who the fuck are you?

00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555

Holy shit,

there's an alien in our house!

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Quit jerking around.

You two have chores to do.

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Help me organize all my vests

and fingerless gloves.

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[quietly] I thought you said

everyone got exploded.

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Who are you and what are you

doing in our house?

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What are you talking about?

I'm Vanbo.

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We escaped Shlorp together, remember?

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Vanbo?

Am I saying that right? Vanbo?

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- Eeesh.

- Whoa, Korvo!

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[chuckles]

You really put on the pounds, pal.

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You're lookin' like a blue Shrek.

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[in Shrek voice] Where's your donkey at,

blue Shrek?

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[laughs]

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Oh, and Terry, I broke your PS4 because

I tried to cook a little pizza in it.

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Hey, I just got that from a witch.

You son of a--aah!

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Okay, what the shit is going on?

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We must have inadvertently

changed something in the past,

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resulting in us now being in a dark,

deviant time stream.

00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,220

One of the results being that Vanbo

apparently joined us on our mission

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and has been living with us

this whole time.

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Hey, man, I-I-I can't live

with a dude this basic.

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I bet he has a true crime podcast.

Like he does one.

00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,063

Listening, cool.

Doing one, yee-hee.

00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,232

We have to go back to the past

and undo the wallet change,

00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,359

which should return us to

the correct time stream.

00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,360

And that'll get rid of Vanbo?

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,738

In the previous time stream,

Vanbo surely died on Shlorp.

00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,283

So yes, but this isn't about Vanbo.

This is about fixing the time stream.

00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,994

Yeah, yeah, the time stream is the

priority, but you're sure Vanbo will die?

00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,246

Yes, his body will be vaporized

by the asteroid.

00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,998

- We're-we're heroes.

- VANBO: Terry, get in the kitchen

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and make me a lean pork sandwich!

00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,460

-[banging on door]

- Quick, come on, go, let's go.

00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,878

[dramatic whooshing]

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KORVO: There's our stick.

00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,468

Now all we have to do

is hit the wallet back out.

00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,511

[wallet clatters]

00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,596

That should undo

the changes to the time stream.

00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,431

- We're heroes.

- Total heroes.

00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,724

[dramatic whooshing]

00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,812

So, Jesse, tell me about

your day, or something?

00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,356

- Really?

- Mm, yes.

00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,399

- Well, I found out Lawrence started--

- Who cares?

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,444

Jeez Louise, are you on

your zeriod or something?

00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,112

Yeah, but it has nothing to do with it.

00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,614

I just want you to like me

without earning it.

00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,074

I want unconditional like.

00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,577

Wait, you care if I like you?

That is so sweet.

00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,163

No, I just, I just, I don't want

to worry about you

00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,333

zapping me in the back with a crazy

sci-fi gun when I piss you off.

00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,919

- What are you even talking about?

- Ah, I don't know! Fuck you!

00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,338

Uh, phone call for drama queen!

00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,551

Vanbo?

Is there anyone named Vanbo here?

00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,511

- Looking for a Vanbo.

- What? No.

00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,929

- Yes, yes, yes, all right.

- Yeah! Yeah-yee!

00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,597

He's out running an errand.

00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,475

Hey-o, Vanbo's back!

[chuckles]

00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,186

Great news.

I traded the gold-making machine

00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,063

for these expensive rats.

00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,523

[exclaiming]

00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,233

See?

They love you already.

00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,901

Check it out.

Give 'em a little kiss.

00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,572

[grunts]

Fuck you.

00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,991

We can't go back to the present

until we figure out

00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,201

how the hell Vanbo keeps surviving

planetary destruction.

00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,078

I, I don't even remember

living with the guy.

00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,247

Man, who thought time travel

would be so convoluted?

00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,374

Time travel should be clear and linear.

This isn't my fault.

00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:44,750

Well, it's not my fault.

00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,838

Oh, look, hey, it's the past us meeting

for the first time. Aw, look at that.

00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,673

I am pleased to embark

on this mission with you.

00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,092

I assume you love science

and worship at the altar of logic.

00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,885

Hell yeah.

Science rules.

00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:59,015

I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert.

I know everything about the Pupa.

00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,225

Terry, you follow past me,

and I will follow past you.

00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,560

No, I wanna follow past me.

00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,353

Terry, since neither of us remember

meeting Vanbo,

00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,689

we must both be outside observers

for the other.

00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,775

- I will see you at the space port.

- All right, sounds good.

00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,320

[dramatic whooshing]

00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,906

[gasps]

I'm young again.

00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,410

Honey, can you help me unload

these groceries from the Piggly Wiggly?

00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,537

Mama, you're so beautiful.

00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,998

Aw, that's a nice thing to say.

00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,042

I've missed you so much.

00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,337

Come, run with me.

00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,881

[laughter]

00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,924

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,010

♪

00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,893

[gulls cawing]

00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,937

[giggles]

00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,694

Oh, my sweet mother.

Now that I remember her face,

00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,572

I'll be able to find her

when I'm in heaven.

00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,451

I can die now knowing

that everything will be okay.

00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:05,790

Oh, thank you. There has to be some way

I can repay you for this.

00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,626

In my kitchen, there's a cabinet

with a child-proof lock.

00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,712

Inside are two AA batteries

and a Harry Potter whistle.

00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,172

Get them for me.

00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,926

- You want batteries?

- And a Harry Potter whistle.

00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,264

Oh, man, you were right. I'm not nice.

This sucks. I thought I was great.

00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:27,311

Yumyulack, my friend, recognizing you suck

is the first step towards de-suckifying.

00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,523

Okay, fuckface, tell me how to be nice

to Jesse and do it yesterday.

00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,150

Well, we usually just hang out

at her favorite place.

00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,695

Oh, my God, this is so dumb.

00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,197

Welcome to the

Pasteur Pasteurized Yogurt Parlor,

00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,366

the world's first Louis Pasteur-themed

yogurt shop.

00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,744

Sup, Todd? You flash heating that milk

so it's safe to drink, yo?

00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,706

That's what pasteurization is, my man.

00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,667

This is so rich.

Jesse is such a loser.

00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,960

- Shut your fucking mouth!

- A-ha!

00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,962

That's something I would say.

You are like me.

00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,715

I am not.

Now, I'm gonna show you how to be nice.

00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,926

Aisha, give us a little Jesse

hologram up in this business.

00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,302

AISHA: Okay.

00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,055

Hey, Jesse.

You smell great today.

00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141

Why don't we all sample

some flavors together?

00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,477

Thanks, best friend. I wanna try

Measles Inoculation Pineapple.

00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,854

Die!

Me first!

00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,399

Freeze program.

Yum, baby, you are so not money right now.

00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,943

Do you really think it was nice

telling her to die?

00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,111

- Yes.

- No, it was mean.

00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,947

- Hey, you tricked me!

- Okay, let's go back to the basics.

00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,490

Just try smiling at her.

00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:22,992

[groans]

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,662

Oh, this is gonna be a long night.

We better put on a pot of hologram coffee.

00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,205

AISHA: Mm-hmm.

00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:33,544

Oh, soil, the womb in which we grow.

Your secrets never cease to delight me.

00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,962

Oof, what a dork.

00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,214

COMPUTER:

Work relaxation period commencing.

00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,925

Work colleagues, I just met

my assigned Pupa specialist,

00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,886

- and he is--

- Handsome, he's gonna say handsome.

00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,721

An idiot.

Just look at that stupid face.

00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,556

He probably doesn't even know

his florvox array

00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,767

from his gortrino phase oscillatorr.

00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,102

-[laughter]

- Un-believ-able.

00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,979

♪ dramatic musical flourish ♪

00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,441

Place your Pupa in a one-centimeter-deep

pool of pigment

00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,610

and let it ink itself for three hours.

00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,445

What up, Teri?

I missed you, babe.

00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,280

Missed you, little boo-boo.

You're my boo-boo girl.

00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,824

Good grief, that smokeshow

is Terry's life mate?

00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,827

And its name is also Teri?

How has he never mentioned this?

00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,790

Oh, man, I just met my evacuation partner.

Total derf.

00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,501

Sucks that I can't take you

instead of his boring, flat ass.

00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,171

Number 31827, be quiet!

Also, button your top button.

00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,798

But I look way cooler this way.

00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549

Conformity is cool!

00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:25,054

ALL: Conformity is cool,

conformity is cool, conformity is cool.

00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,015

Yes, Jesse,

your choice of vanilla is fine

00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,309

and [whimpers] not for babies.

00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,604

No, you can't--wait, you did it.

Aisha, analyze malice.

00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,022

AISHA:

No malice detected.

00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,066

- I did it.

- Congratulations, Yumyulack.

00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,984

For all your hard work,

I'd like to reward you

00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,945

with this sticker

of your favorite Avenger.

00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,696

Ooh, hell yeah!

Hawkeye!

00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,406

He's got a quiver.

His real name is Clint.

00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,285

Whoo, my superpower is aim.

Aim at you, aim at you.

00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,913

- You're gonna sleep like a log tonight.

- Aim at you, aim at you...

00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,165

Oh, ew.

00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,626

When's the last time

you cleaned out the Wall?

00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:59,213

It's been getting super gross in there

ever since they invented religion.

00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:03,884

Jesse, hello. I wanted to greet you

and tell you that your bow looks nice.

00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,261

It--wait, is this a trap?

00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,762

Because you have to tell me

if it's a trap.

00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,597

- I came in here to compliment you.

- You did?

00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,641

Yes, and I did it.

Gotta go before I mess it up.

00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,601

- You look great, bye!

-[door closes]

00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,688

♪

00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,815

- You son of a bitch.

- Oh, yeah, well guess what?

00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,191

- You suck.

- You wanted to bring

00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,776

your stupid life mate to Earth, huh?

00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,862

You-you think Teri with an "I"

is better than me?

00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,196

You think I have a stupid face

00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,906

and that I don't know

what I'm doing with the Pupa.

00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,867

- You don't!

-[both grunting]

00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,664

Well, I did it.

I was nice to Jesse.

00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,541

I'm the nicest motherfucker

you've ever met.

00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,543

- This is wonderful.

- Thank you so, so much

00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,879

for spending all that time

making me a better alien.

00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,839

And now that I'm nice,

I can delete your ass.

00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,883

- Hey, deleting someone isn't nice.

- Yeah, I know.

00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,969

But I never want Jesse to find out that

I needed training wheels for this stuff.

00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,178

So you gotta get trashed.

00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,930

Well, it was a pleasure teaching you.

00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,391

You know, I actually learned something

from you, too.

00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,351

- Oh, yeah, what was that?

- How to be a dick!

00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,394

Eat my finger!

00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,937

[both grunting]

00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,527

AISHA:

Oh, my God! What the heck?

00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,196

Jesse's finally getting the brother

she deserves.

00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,741

All right, all right, all right,

all right, all right, all right.

00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,284

Enough, we're done.

The partnership is over.

00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,869

- Agreed.

- When we get back to our time,

00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,537

I'm packing up and moving to San Diego.

00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,165

I'll rent a condo in the Gaslamp

and eat fish tacos every day

00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,791

- and never think of you.

- The sooner the better.

00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,377

You and I have never done

anything good together.

00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,005

KORVO:

Oh, wow, look how cute the replicants are.

00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,673

TERRY:

Oh, they really are. We're all cute.

00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,134

Would you look at us?

Two regular aliens with their replicants

00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,178

thinking that they're gonna

go out into space

00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,763

and terraform a rogue moon or something.

00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,765

We had no idea what we were in for.

00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,018

You know, Terry, we spent so much time

on Earth pretending to be a family,

00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,479

I didn't even notice when

we actually became one.

00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,356

Yeah, I think we sealed the deal on that

00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,942

when we all saw

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,234

You remember?

Tom Cruise? TC?

00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,861

[chuckles]

Terry, I think you're right.

00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,905

We all really liked that movie.

Together.

00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,823

Hey, remember when

we made a real Funbucket

00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,575

and it went crazy and attacked the town?

00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,118

TERRY:

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was awesome.

00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,745

Hey, how about when we built

the "manc ave"?

00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,747

You had to bury the cuck robot

in the backyard.

00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,165

KORVO: He loved it.

Or remember that day

00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,541

when everything was a musical?

00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,502

TERRY: Yeah, or what about when we

teamed up with the Simpsons

00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,337

for a game against the Monstars

from Space Jam?

00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,673

You know, we may not have

chosen each other, Terry,

00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,174

but we've built a good life.

00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,802

- I don't want to throw that away.

- Neither do I, Korvo.

00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,178

- Holy shit!

- Hey.

00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,305

Did you peep that photo

of my mound I sent you?

00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,431

Pretty tight, right?

00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,808

What do you mean you hated it?

00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,935

You don't want a photo

of my tiny, hairless mound?

00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,186

Didn't you see the crust?

00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,398

There's Vanbo!

What-what-what do we do?

00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,358

This is our chance to set things right.

Hit him with the time stick!

00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,110

- The what now?

- The Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.

00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,277

Oh, duh, yeah, right.

00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,654

Huh?

00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,031

[grunting]

00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,658

Stop it!

00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,910

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,121

♪

00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,129

[all grunting]

00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,975

[electricity zapping]

00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,981

♪ music intensifies ♪

00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,071

Wait, this is where you wanna take me?

00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,574

I thought you said frozen yogurt

was ice cream for narcs.

00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,535

Ooh, it is, but now I'm nice to you,

which means eating

00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,788

disgusting cold slime

even if it tastes like dust.

00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,623

Are you feeling okay, Yumyulack?

00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,417

Oh, yeah, please,

go ahead of me in line.

00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,086

I would be happy to hold your purse

while you sample some flavors.

00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,338

- You're offering to hold my purse?

- Correct.

00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,215

- While I go first?

- Of course.

00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,968

Well, okay, that sounds great.

00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,013

Let me just, uh, here,

it's in here...

00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,139

[grunts]

00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,224

Oh, my God.

What's wrong with you?

00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,018

Don't worry, that's not my brother.

00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,854

It's a Pretend-O-Deck simulation

that's transferred his consciousness

00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:47,357

- to a 3

- D printed body

and is trying to take his place.

00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,360

Jesse, why?

I was... nice.

00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,279

I'm calling the police.

Don't move.

00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:53,530

[dramatic whooshing]

00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,699

You turned him into

a Game Boy cartridge.

00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,079

- Just forget what you saw here, sir.

- I can't! It's so specific!

00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,083

Uh, please wake up.

I'm so sorry I created Funyulack.

00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:08,128

You can be kind of a jerk sometimes

but you're my brother and I love you.

00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,379

- Mwah. Bleh.

- Hi, Jesse.

00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,299

Would you like to continue our discussion

of who is hotter, Peeta or Gale?

00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,968

Or we could play Mall Madness

and practice our dance moves.

00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,305

You're not Yumyulack.

You're Funyulack!

00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,516

Thank you for those sweet, sweet kisses.

00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:24,394

Freeze program, freeze program.

Oh, God, no, I killed Yumyulack.

00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,190

I killed Yumyulack and turned his body

into a Game Boy cartridge!

00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,652

Just like that fortune cookie

said I would!

00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,322

[all grunting]

00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,872

Who's a blue Shrek now, bitch?

00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,249

We gotta get rid of this body, man.

00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,292

Do you have the thing that turns them

into Game Boy cartridges?

00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,545

Ah, no, I never bring it

when I end up needing it.

00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,713

[squishing]

00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,010

Remember, Terry, we're heroes.

00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,887

[dramatic whooshing]

00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,181

- We did it, Vanbo's gone.

- We repaired the time stream.

00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,891

- Hey, yeah!

-[chuckles]

00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,017

This is very good.

00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,477

[loud rumbling]

00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,981

- Huh.

- It appears we may have

00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,024

slightly altered the time stream.

00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,568

Um, well, it's not so bad.

00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,571

I mean, I can live with this as long

as Vanbo's not around.

00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,575

Hello, futtbuckers.

00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,036

Vanbo? What are you doing here?

Your ass should be dead as hell!

00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,581

Should be dead as hell.

But I was rescued

00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,501

and nursed back to health

by a very special person.

00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,336

Hey, Terry.

00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,672

Teri with an "I"?

What the heck are you doing here?

00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,591

I'm Vanbo's science partner now.

00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,677

And my name's not Teri

with an "I" anymore.

00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,638

Mm-mm, it's Vanbi,

also spelled with an "I."

00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,764

Fuck, that's so cool.

00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,725

We've been searching the galaxy

for you two.

00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:48,145

I know you guys attacked me

with your time stick on Shlorp.

00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,397

We, uh, we-we don't know

what you're talking about.

00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,610

I have some important news to tell you.

Shlorp never blew up!

00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,903

BOTH: What?

00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,280

And I've come to take both of you back

so you can be tried

00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,658

and executed for using

a Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer

00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,243

without a license!

00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,078

- BOTH: What?

- Terry, Korvo.

00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,956

I killed Yumyulack and turned his body

into a Game Boy cartridge.

00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,083

- He's gone forever.

- ALL: What?

00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,002

Oh, and one more thing.

After we all leave,

00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,505

I'm gonna blow up

this stupid fucking Earth planet

00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,342

just because that's how Vanbo do.

00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,969

This can't be happening!

[cries]

00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,430

Why, why is this happening.

00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,474

Wait! She's right.

00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,768

- This can't be happening.

- But it is.

00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,270

Doesn't it seem like too many

big crazy events all at once?

00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,189

I mean, that-that's

not how life works, man.

00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,941

No, no, no.

This doesn't feel real.

00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,859

Ooh, this guy's lost it.

Everybody gather around.

00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,736

- Let's watch him shit his pants.

- Don't you see?

00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,322

The time travelling, dead Yumyulack,

Shlorp didn't explode.

00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,115

I mean, come on.

That's like--it's so much stuff.

00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,325

Think about it.

That's, like, way too much.

00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,369

If you had a list, it's too much!

00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,079

- It is sort of contrived.

- Right?

00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:50,499

I mean, how are we sure that

we're not in a The Matrix?

00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,959

or a Matrix Reloaded?

00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,711

Because there would be green numbers

floating around and leather sunglasses.

00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,089

Well, it's gotta be something.

Okay, and I can figure this out.

00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,758

I mean, we could be in

an eXistenZ-type sitch.

00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:02,052

Stop it! Last week, you thought we were

in an eXistenZ

00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,346

because the drive-thru gave us

an extra order of fries.

00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,723

We can't be in an eXistenZ

every time you're freaking out.

00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,475

Oh, really, smart guy?

You're telling me

00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,978

we have time travelling shoes

that we can use whenever we want?

00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,562

You're always wanting to know

stuff about the Pupa.

00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,439

Why haven't you been using

those shoes, man?

00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,066

Why haven't you been using the shoes?

00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,151

I-I-I'm sure there's

a logical explanation for that.

00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,028

No, there isn't, okay?

Shut the fuck up.

00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,407

We've gotta be in some fucked up

Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man

00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,408

Horton Hears a Who thing.

00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,159

- Maybe we're in a Tron.

- Don't egg him on.

00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,120

- This isn't a Tron.

- Ooh, maybe we're in a dream.

00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,663

Now you're talking.

00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,874

I mean, I-I-I-I bet we're all in some

kind of crazy Dreamscape- style

00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,043

Inception What Dreams May Come

Joseph and the Amazing

00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,503

Technicolor Dreamcoat dream.

00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:38,714

That's impossible.

Nobody traps Korvo in a dream.

00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,757

Whose dream are we in, huh?

Wake up, wake up.

00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,301

Stop that, cut it out!

00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,719

- You have to wake up.

- Don't touch me, Vanbo.

00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,720

- Stop it.

- Wake up.

00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,305

CHERIE: Wake up, Korvo, come on.

You can do it.

00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,764

Stop sleeping, Korvo.

Wake up!

00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,433

- Damn it, wake up.

- I'm trying.

00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,393

- I'm trying!

- Wake up!

00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:54,187

Oh, uh, how long have you guys

been on the Pretend-O-Deck?

00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,149

Ha, I knew it.

None of that stuff happened.

00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,734

♪ Harry Potter theme song on whistle ♪

00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,736

What the? How does the Pupa

keep getting that Harry Potter whistle?

00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,779

- I thought we locked it up.

- How does he keep getting that thing?

00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,906

- Don't everybody look at me.

- You obviously gave it to him.

00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,199

- I did not.

- Damn it, Terry.

00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,702

You've gotta stop raising false alarms

about the Pupa.

00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,746

You're making me gooble.

I'm-I'm gooblering.

00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,497

Uh, okay, all right.

00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,583

[Pupa squishing]

00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,837

- Weird, he's never done that before.

- Pupa, stop that.

00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,881

Do you think we should tell

Terry and Korvo?

00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:22,341

No, they're already all wound up.

00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,926

But what if he evolves

and kills all of us?

00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,471

Yeah, right.

Like that'll ever happen.

00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:29,723

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,975

See you next season, everyone.

00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,936

♪ dance music playing ♪

00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,230

♪

00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,857

KORVO [echoing]

00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:52,579

Terry!

00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:16,937

Terry!

00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,195

Terry!

00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:42,254

Hulu. Hulu. Hu-lu.

00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,677

[imitating laser fire]

00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,393

Теперь ты, Авраам Линкольн,

машина-истребитель.

00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,417

– Класс! Да! Так, погнали.

– Терри?

00:00:12,502 --> 00:00:15,504

– Нет. Я занят.

– Это важно. Пупа стал оранжевым.

00:00:15,589 --> 00:00:19,508

– И? Ты сломал мой «Хулу»-визор!

– Пупа не должен быть оранжевым.

00:00:19,594 --> 00:00:22,812

– Пантон 101‐C. Что это значит?

– Откуда мне знать?

00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:26,462

Это твоя работа, Терри.

Я чиню корабль, ты следишь за Пупой.

00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:29,285

Ладно. Да. Моя работа. Точно.

00:00:29,369 --> 00:00:30,937

Он обретёт истинную форму,

00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:32,594

истребит всё на этой планете

00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,427

и терраформирует её в наш новый дом.

00:00:34,513 --> 00:00:36,150

– Да.

– Значит, нас съедят

00:00:36,235 --> 00:00:38,033

и терраформируют вместе со всеми!

00:00:38,117 --> 00:00:40,544

Вдруг такой цвет –

первый шаг к аннигиляции?

00:00:40,628 --> 00:00:42,887

Стой. Он горячий. Это важно?

00:00:42,971 --> 00:00:45,061

Нет. Он всегда такой. К счастью, я гений

00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,027

и знал, что ты ни на что не годишься,

00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,579

поэтому сделал карточку

с данными о Пупе.

00:00:49,663 --> 00:00:52,715

Она в бумажнике. Надо его найти.

Чёрт. Где он?

00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,184

Когда я в последний раз

использовал шлорпианские деньги?

00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:58,524

На сделке с армянами. Ах! На Шлорпе!

00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,308

Но он взорвался в заставке.

00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:04,185

Значит, выбора нет.

Придётся использовать шаго-возвращайзер,

00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:07,900

чтобы вернуться во времени

в наш мир и найти бумажник.

00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:10,312

Я подожду здесь. Там придётся попотеть,

00:01:10,398 --> 00:01:13,276

а Пупа ещё никого не убил, так что…

00:01:13,362 --> 00:01:15,175

– Он взорвётся!

– А-а!

00:01:16,091 --> 00:01:20,067

Планета Шлорп была идеальной утопией.

Пока не упал астероид.

00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:23,533

Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу

00:01:23,618 --> 00:01:28,041

и сбежали в космос в поисках

нового дома в незаселённых мирах.

00:01:28,726 --> 00:01:31,761

Мы упали на Землю и застряли

на перенаселённой планете.

00:01:31,846 --> 00:01:33,423

Да. Всё это время говорю я.

00:01:33,508 --> 00:01:35,165

Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.

00:01:35,251 --> 00:01:36,917

И это моё шоу. Я бросил Пупу.

00:01:37,002 --> 00:01:40,782

Видите меня? Это смешно.

Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:01:41,091 --> 00:01:43,678

Люди глупые. Куда делись все динозавры?

00:01:43,763 --> 00:01:45,547

Что они сделали с динозаврами?

00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:57,243

Ну что?

Где шаго-возвра-чего-то-там-айзер?

00:01:57,328 --> 00:01:59,205

Он как космический корабль с часами?

00:01:59,291 --> 00:02:01,187

Шаго-возвращайзер. Это хай-тек-обувь,

00:02:01,272 --> 00:02:04,612

позволяющая вернуться во времени

в то место, где они были.

00:02:04,696 --> 00:02:06,525

Они стоят одиннадцать

миллиардов долларов.

00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:07,939

– С подсветкой?

– Мои – да.

00:02:08,024 --> 00:02:11,181

– О, почему у тебя круче?

– Потому что я главный.

00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,300

У шаго-возвращайзера

есть набор инструкций.

00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,634

Если не следовать им, будет катастрофа

00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,915

в пространственно-временном

континууме, понимаешь?

00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,869

– Боты рулят. Понял.

– Правило первое.

00:02:20,953 --> 00:02:22,641

Когда мы вернёмся в прошлое,

00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,149

никто не сможет увидеть и услышать нас.

00:02:25,235 --> 00:02:27,000

Второе. В прошлом можно быть

00:02:27,084 --> 00:02:29,022

всего восемь часов, иначе станем слизью.

00:02:29,106 --> 00:02:31,589

– Третье. Нельзя изучать что-то новое...

– На заметку.

00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,255

Крендельки – самый недооценённый

возбудитель аппетита.

00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:37,125

Надо сказать об этом составителям меню.

00:02:37,209 --> 00:02:39,411

Противные меню. Они такие длинные.

00:02:39,496 --> 00:02:42,365

Поэтому я не ем китайскую еду.

Только поэтому.

00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:44,566

– Ты слушаешь?

– Да. Слизь. Дальше.

00:02:46,105 --> 00:02:49,902

Джесси, ты снова не закрыла

камеру воображения.

00:02:51,596 --> 00:02:53,662

Добро пожаловать, Юмьюлак.

00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:55,984

Привет, Аиша.

Включи то, что смотрела Джесси.

00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:58,078

Это вторжение в личную жизнь.

00:02:58,162 --> 00:03:00,781

Да. В этом вся прелесть.

Обойди протокол.

00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:03,275

Пароль «Панэра-брэд»

с тройкой вместо «э».

00:03:03,359 --> 00:03:06,578

Протокол обойдён.

Запускаю последнюю программу, шалун.

00:03:07,205 --> 00:03:09,177

Привет, Джесси. Я Веселак.

00:03:09,263 --> 00:03:11,798

Хочешь продолжить

подборку с переодеванием?

00:03:11,882 --> 00:03:13,586

Мы остановились на костюме ковбоя.

00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:16,204

Что это значит? А ты кто такой?

00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:18,353

Я Веселак. Я такой же, как ты,

00:03:18,439 --> 00:03:21,152

но веселее и милее.

Я делаю причёски и пеку хлеб.

00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:23,813

У Джесси есть я, только милее?

Это невозможно.

00:03:23,897 --> 00:03:26,723

Когда я вхожу в комнату,

все говорят: «Очень мило».

00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:28,761

Для Джесси ты придурок. Она сказала:

00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:31,754

«Он пытался обменять меня

на приставку у ведьмы».

00:03:31,839 --> 00:03:34,451

Да, но та не согласилась.

Нельзя жаловаться,

00:03:34,535 --> 00:03:36,543

что тебя чуть не обменяли.

00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:38,832

«Он смеётся над тем, как я хожу и дышу».

00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,304

Брось! Ты видел, как она ходит?

00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,606

Это же «цок-цок-цок, вжих-вжих».

00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,520

Мне нравится её походка.

00:03:45,606 --> 00:03:48,053

– Она элегантная.

– Почему бы вам не пожениться?

00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:50,074

– Я бы рад.

– А-а-а!

00:03:50,159 --> 00:03:52,753

Это всё чушь. Я очень милый!

00:03:52,839 --> 00:03:56,689

Я понравлюсь Джесси.

С помощью Крейга Т. и Нельсона.

00:03:56,774 --> 00:03:59,417

Правило пятьдесят восемь.

Ни в кого не влюбляться в прошлом,

00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:01,519

иначе станем слизью. Ты что, спишь?

00:04:01,605 --> 00:04:03,229

Ничего не трогать, а то станем слизью.

00:04:03,315 --> 00:04:06,728

Я бы хотел кое-что потрогать,

но не выйдет. Мы будем как призраки.

00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:08,433

Тогда как мы возьмём бумажник?

00:04:08,518 --> 00:04:11,105

Используем вещи-трогателайзер.

00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:15,874

О, он тоже из нашего мира?

00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,840

Похож на простую палку с вилкой.

00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,015

Чтобы использовать её, нужна лицензия.

00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,913

Но офис взорвался, так что обойдёмся.

00:04:22,998 --> 00:04:25,067

Пора вернуться в прошлое.

00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:36,168

ПЛАНЕТА ШЛОРП

ДВУМЯ ГОДАМИ РАНЕЕ

00:04:46,109 --> 00:04:48,193

Прекрасный Шлорп. О, как я скучал

00:04:48,278 --> 00:04:50,631

по этому чудесному тоталитарному месту.

00:04:50,717 --> 00:04:52,383

Оно меньше, чем я запомнил.

00:04:52,985 --> 00:04:55,144

Не думал, что вновь увижу мою квартиру.

00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,079

О, я полюбил здесь столько уравнений.

00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:58,904

О, любовь к математике?

00:04:58,989 --> 00:05:02,255

Это же ты! Чёрт, ты был таким тощим.

00:05:02,341 --> 00:05:07,265

О, серьёзно, встань рядом с собой.

Сравним. Ты совсем распустился.

00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:09,049

Ты оставил бумажник на столе!

00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,051

Прекрасно, Терри. Использую палку,

00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:13,297

чтобы перетащить его на наш корабль.

00:05:13,383 --> 00:05:16,167

Тогда он окажется

на корабле в настоящем.

00:05:17,472 --> 00:05:19,366

Ты промазал, чтобы рассмешить меня?

00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,709

– Отвернись. Не смотри на меня!

– Получилось.

00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,645

Привет, малыш.

00:05:26,731 --> 00:05:29,562

Хочешь чёрствое печенье из ржавой банки?

00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:33,296

Где я? Мы мертвы?

00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:38,035

Добрый день, Лоррэйн. Я знаю,

за годы ты пережила много потерь.

00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:40,863

Дети переехали. Муж от тебя ушёл.

00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,732

Даже твои друзья умерли.

00:05:42,817 --> 00:05:46,308

У тебя остались лишь воспоминания.

00:05:46,392 --> 00:05:48,012

Это твой шанс, Лоррэйн.

00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,672

Я могу проникнуть в твой мозг и

показать то, чего ты не видела.

00:05:51,757 --> 00:05:54,499

Есть что-то, чего ты

не можешь вспомнить?

00:05:54,584 --> 00:05:56,161

Я могу помочь.

00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:59,114

Я не помню лица моей матери.

00:05:59,199 --> 00:06:02,482

Я хотела бы увидеть её в последний раз.

00:06:08,553 --> 00:06:11,274

Все спокойны, хотя скоро взорвутся.

00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,443

Явный признак развитого общества.

Не считая зоны паники.

00:06:14,528 --> 00:06:18,198

Я смирился со смертью.

Хотя буду скучать по друзьям и семье.

00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:21,596

– Он позорит себя.

– Эй, мы почти на месте.

00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:24,433

Закинем этого негодника в люк, и готово.

00:06:24,519 --> 00:06:26,129

Получай, негодник!

00:06:26,709 --> 00:06:28,303

Чёрт!

00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,668

Эй! Миссия выполнена! Возвращаемся.

00:06:30,753 --> 00:06:32,625

Я хочу посмотреть «Хулу»-визор.

00:06:37,052 --> 00:06:39,492

Вот данные про Пупу. Так. Кхе-кхе.

00:06:39,577 --> 00:06:42,620

«Если Пупа стал оранжевым,

он съел что-то оранжевое».

00:06:42,714 --> 00:06:45,088

Я скормил ему пакет кукурузных чипсов.

00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:47,840

Когда я ел их в тот раз,

я тоже стал оранжевым.

00:06:48,082 --> 00:06:50,538

Отлично. Пупа не съест нас,

00:06:50,624 --> 00:06:52,925

по крайней мере, сегодня.

И мы изменили прошлое, не вызвав

00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:56,077

нежелательного эффекта бабочки.

Так что мяч в корзине.

00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:58,795

– Мы баскетболисты!

– Мы баскетболисты!

00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:02,289

Привет, придурки!

Ха-ха! Выпить нечего.

00:07:04,765 --> 00:07:08,916

– Пусть кто-нибудь сбегает в магазин.

– Что? А ты кто?

00:07:09,002 --> 00:07:12,532

– У нас в доме пришелец!

– Хватит дурачиться. Дел полно.

00:07:12,618 --> 00:07:15,213

Помогите разложить жилеты

и перчатки без пальцев.

00:07:15,299 --> 00:07:17,934

Ты, кажется, сказал, все взорвались.

00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:19,799

Кто ты и что делаешь в нашем доме?

00:07:19,884 --> 00:07:21,566

О чём вы? Я Ванбо.

00:07:21,652 --> 00:07:23,345

Мы вместе сбежали со Шлорпа.

00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:26,398

Ванбо? Я верно сказал? Ванбо?

00:07:26,484 --> 00:07:28,254

О-о! Корво.

00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:31,693

А ты набрал вес. Похож на синего Шрека.

00:07:31,779 --> 00:07:34,356

Где твой осёл, синий Шрек?

00:07:35,777 --> 00:07:38,608

Терри. Я сломал твою приставку.

Готовил в ней пиццу.

00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:41,317

Я получил её от ведьмы! Ты мерзавец!

00:07:41,521 --> 00:07:44,254

Ладно. Что здесь происходит?

00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,070

Мы изменили что-то в прошлом.

00:07:46,156 --> 00:07:48,490

И теперь мы в тёмном

девиантном потоке времени.

00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:51,439

Очевидно, Ванбо

отправился с нами в миссию

00:07:51,524 --> 00:07:53,227

и жил с нами всё это время.

00:07:53,313 --> 00:07:55,715

Нет! Я не могу жить

с таким примитивным парнем.

00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:58,950

Уверен, у него есть

подкаст про преступность.

00:07:59,035 --> 00:08:01,198

Слушать – круто, но делать? Не-ет.

00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:03,430

Надо вернуть бумажник в прошлое.

00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,221

Тогда мы вернёмся в правильное время.

00:08:05,307 --> 00:08:07,360

– Без Ванбо.

– В прежнем потоке времени

00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,929

Ванбо погиб на Шлорпе.

Да. Но дело не в Ванбо.

00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:13,677

– Потоки времени перемешались.

– Да. Потоки – главное.

00:08:13,762 --> 00:08:15,384

Но Ванбо точно умрёт?

00:08:15,469 --> 00:08:17,403

Да. Астероид уничтожит его.

00:08:17,489 --> 00:08:20,975

– Мы герои.

– Терри! Сделай мне сэндвич со свининой.

00:08:21,059 --> 00:08:22,661

Быстро! Давай! Бежим!

00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:28,444

Вот наша палка.

00:08:28,529 --> 00:08:30,693

Надо выкинуть обратно бумажник.

00:08:31,773 --> 00:08:33,650

Тогда всё вернётся как было.

00:08:33,735 --> 00:08:35,365

– Мы герои.

– Бесспорно.

00:08:39,063 --> 00:08:41,678

Ну что, Джесси, расскажи,

как провела день.

00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:43,319

– Правда?

– М-м. Да.

00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:45,616

– Ну, я узнала, что Лорен…

– Плевать!!!

00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:48,590

Боже мой. У тебя начались те самые дни?

00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:53,021

Да. Но это здесь ни при чём. Я просто

хочу нравиться тебе. Без условий.

00:08:53,107 --> 00:08:56,531

Стой, ты хочешь нравиться мне?

Это так мило.

00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:59,350

Нет. Я просто…

Я не хочу переживать из-за того,

00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:02,381

что ты убьёшь меня,

когда я разозлю тебя.

00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:04,929

– О чём это ты?

– Не знаю! Иди ты!

00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:07,342

Да ты у нас истеричка!

00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:11,561

Ванбо? Есть здесь кто-то по имени Ванбо?

00:09:11,646 --> 00:09:13,475

– Я ищу Ванбо!

– Что? Нет.

00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:15,129

– Да-да-да! Ладно.

– Да! Да.

00:09:15,214 --> 00:09:18,823

– Он побежал по делам.

– Приве-ет! Ванбо здесь.

00:09:19,638 --> 00:09:22,338

Есть новости.

Я обменял машину для производства золота

00:09:22,424 --> 00:09:24,211

на этих дорогих крыс.

00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:28,998

– Не получилось, Корво!

– Видите? Вы им нравитесь. Поцелуй их.

00:09:31,299 --> 00:09:32,879

Иди ты.

00:09:33,393 --> 00:09:35,107

Мы не вернёмся, пока не выясним,

00:09:35,193 --> 00:09:37,438

как Ванбо пережил гибель планеты.

00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:39,197

Я не помню, чтобы мы с ним жили.

00:09:39,282 --> 00:09:42,727

– Кто знал, что всё так будет?

– Всё пошло не так.

00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:44,785

– Это не моя вина.

– И точно не моя.

00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:48,874

О, взгляни. Это наша первая

встреча в прошлом. О, ты посмотри.

00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,780

Я с радостью отправлюсь

на миссию с тобой.

00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:53,143

Полагаю, ты любишь науку и логику.

00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:55,025

Ещё бы! Наука рулит!

00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:59,008

Я люблю её.

И я эксперт по Пупе. Я знаю всё о Пупе.

00:09:59,094 --> 00:10:01,200

Терри, иди за мной. А я за тобой.

00:10:01,286 --> 00:10:02,861

– Нет. Я пойду за собой.

– Терри,

00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:04,551

раз мы не помним встречи с Ванбо,

00:10:04,636 --> 00:10:06,617

мы должны следить друг за другом.

00:10:06,702 --> 00:10:09,627

– Встретимся на космодроме.

– Ладно. Хорошо.

00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,476

Я снова молода.

00:10:16,192 --> 00:10:19,268

Милая, поможешь разложить

покупки из супермаркета?

00:10:19,354 --> 00:10:21,515

Мама. Ты такая красивая.

00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:24,016

Ох! Очень приятно слышать.

00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,384

Я так скучала по тебе.

00:10:27,839 --> 00:10:29,463

Идём со мной.

00:10:50,089 --> 00:10:53,857

О, милая мамочка. Теперь я помню её лицо

00:10:53,942 --> 00:10:56,552

и смогу найти её на небесах.

00:10:56,638 --> 00:11:00,487

Теперь я могу умереть, зная,

что всё будет в порядке.

00:11:00,573 --> 00:11:05,840

О, спасибо.

Я могу как-то отблагодарить тебя за это?

00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:08,641

У меня на кухне есть

ящик с замком от детей.

00:11:08,727 --> 00:11:11,713

Внутри две батарейки и

свисток Гарри Поттера.

00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,836

– Принеси мне их.

– Ты хочешь батарейки?

00:11:14,921 --> 00:11:16,711

И свисток Гарри Поттера.

00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:22,335

О, ты был прав. Я просто отстой.

Я думал, я классный.

00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:25,365

Юмьюлак, мой друг…

Признание того, что ты отстой –

00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,500

первый шаг к деотстоизации.

00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,383

Ладно, скажи мне,

как быть милым с Джесси.

00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:33,116

Ну, мы просто зависаем

в её любимом месте.

00:11:33,988 --> 00:11:35,915

О боже! Здесь ужасно!

00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,261

Заходите в первый в мире

магазин пастеризованных йогуртов

00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:40,289

имени Луи Пастера.

00:11:40,374 --> 00:11:44,045

Привет, Тодд.

Твоё молоко теперь безопасное, йоу?

00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:46,590

Для этого и есть пастеризация.

00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,590

Это ужасно. Джесси – неудачница.

00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:53,108

– Закрой поганый рот!

– Это мои слова. Ты как я.

00:11:53,193 --> 00:11:55,963

Неправда.

Сейчас я научу тебя быть милым.

00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,809

Аиша, дай нам для этого

голограмму Джесси.

00:11:58,895 --> 00:12:00,508

Ладно.

00:12:00,593 --> 00:12:03,066

Привет, Джесси. Классный аромат.

00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,208

Попробуем вместе цветочные образцы?

00:12:05,294 --> 00:12:08,589

Спасибо, друг.

Я попробую ананасовую вакцину от кори.

00:12:08,674 --> 00:12:10,784

– Умри! Я первый!

– Пауза!

00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,550

Юм, ты ведёшь себя недостойно.

00:12:13,636 --> 00:12:15,782

Думаешь, это мило – желать ей смерти?

00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:17,159

– Да.

– Нет, гнусно.

00:12:17,244 --> 00:12:19,865

– Ты обдурил меня.

– Ладно. Вернёмся к основам.

00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,660

Попробуй улыбнуться ей.

00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,599

О, это будет непросто.

Включи голограммное кофе.

00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:28,256

Ага.

00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:33,630

О, почва, в которой мы растём.

Твои секреты восхищают меня.

00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:37,295

– Уф. Ботаник.

– Начинается период релаксации.

00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,944

Коллеги, я познакомился

со специалистом по Пупе.

00:12:40,029 --> 00:12:42,004

– Он…

– Красивый. Скажи «красивый».

00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:43,999

Придурок. У него глупое лицо.

00:12:44,085 --> 00:12:47,963

Он не отличит луч флорвокса

от гостринового осциллятора.

00:12:48,304 --> 00:12:50,324

Не-ве-ро-ят-но.

00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:55,652

Поместите Пупу

в сантиметровый слой пигмента

00:12:55,736 --> 00:12:57,668

и оставьте окрашиваться на три часа.

00:12:57,754 --> 00:12:59,470

Привет, Тэрри. Я скучал.

00:12:59,554 --> 00:13:01,489

Скучал по тебе, глупышка.

00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:04,022

Ну и ну! Эта штучка – подружка Терри?

00:13:04,108 --> 00:13:06,770

И её тоже зовут Тэрри?

Почему он не упоминал?

00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,274

О, да, я встретил

напарника по эвакуации.

00:13:09,358 --> 00:13:10,938

Такой ботаник.

00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,487

Жаль, что нельзя взять

тебя вместо этого зануды.

00:13:13,572 --> 00:13:17,153

Номер 31827! Тихо! И застегни пуговицу!

00:13:17,239 --> 00:13:20,615

– Но так я круче.

– Подчинение – вот что круто!

00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:23,348

Подчинение – это круто!

Подчинение – это круто!

00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:25,042

Подчинение – это круто!

00:13:25,653 --> 00:13:28,046

Да, Джесси. Прекрасный выбор.

00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:30,341

И совсем не детский.

00:13:30,426 --> 00:13:33,595

Нет, не надо… Стой.

Ты справился. Аиша, анализ злобы.

00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,763

– Злоба не обнаружена.

– Я смог!

00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:39,019

Поздравляю, Юмьюлак.

За усердную работу награждаю тебя

00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,242

стикером любимого Мстителя.

00:13:41,327 --> 00:13:44,597

О да! Соколиный глаз!

У него колчан, и его зовут Клинт.

00:13:44,683 --> 00:13:48,541

У-у! Моя суперсила в цели!

Я целюсь в тебя. В тебя. В тебя…

00:13:48,626 --> 00:13:51,200

– Вечером будешь спать как младенец.

– В тебя. В тебя…

00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,490

Фу!

00:13:53,664 --> 00:13:55,913

Когда ты в последний раз чистил Стену?

00:13:55,998 --> 00:13:59,351

Там стало ужасно с тех пор,

как они изобрели религию.

00:13:59,436 --> 00:14:01,428

Джесси, привет. Хотел поздороваться

00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,864

и сказать, что твой бант – класс.

00:14:03,949 --> 00:14:06,631

Стой. Это ловушка? Если да, лучше скажи.

00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,751

– Я сделал комплимент.

– Правда?

00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:12,217

Да! Пойду, пока ты

всё не испортила. Пока.

00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,734

– Ты мерзавец!

– Да? Знаешь что? Ты дурак!

00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:21,190

Хотел взять свою тупую

подружку на Землю?

00:14:21,276 --> 00:14:23,007

Думаешь, эта Терри лучше, чем я?

00:14:23,092 --> 00:14:24,881

Ты сказал, я глупый и не знаю,

00:14:24,966 --> 00:14:26,938

– что делать с Пупой.

– Это так!

00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,913

Я справился. Я был добр с Джесси.

00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,778

Я милейший мерзавец из всех.

00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,767

– Это чудесно!

– Спасибо,

00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:39,969

что потратил время и

помог мне стать лучше.

00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:41,949

Теперь я могу удалить тебя.

00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:43,981

– Удалять кого-то – плохо!

– Да, знаю.

00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:47,132

Но Джесси не должна

узнать, что я учился.

00:14:47,216 --> 00:14:49,980

– Тебя придётся стереть.

– Что ж. Рад был обучить тебя.

00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:52,353

Я тоже кое-чему научился у тебя.

00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:54,193

– Да? Чему же?

– Быть мерзавцем!

00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:55,871

Пусти меня!

00:15:01,926 --> 00:15:03,637

О боже! Какого чёрта?!

00:15:03,722 --> 00:15:06,291

У Джесси наконец будет хороший брат.

00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:08,761

Ладно-ладно-ладно-ладно-ладно!

00:15:08,856 --> 00:15:10,883

– Хватит. Всё. Партнёрству конец.

– Идёт.

00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:13,698

Когда вернёмся в наше

время, я уеду в Сан-Диего.

00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:16,411

Сниму квартиру и буду каждый

день есть рыбные тако.

00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:17,707

– Не вспомню о тебе!

– Чем быстрее, тем лучше.

00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,701

Вместе у нас ничего не выходит.

00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:22,890

О, какие милые репликанты.

00:15:22,975 --> 00:15:24,891

Действительно. Как и мы все.

00:15:24,977 --> 00:15:27,148

Смотри. Двое пришельцев с репликантами

00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:30,789

собираются в космос, чтобы

терраформировать планету.

00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:32,972

Мы не знали, во что ввязываемся.

00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:36,076

Терри, мы так долго были

на Земле как одна семья,

00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:38,349

что я даже не заметил, как мы стали ею.

00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,417

Думаю, это случилось,

00:15:40,503 --> 00:15:42,983

когда мы смотрели

«Миссия невыполнима: Протокол Фантом».

00:15:43,069 --> 00:15:44,694

Помнишь? Том Круз. Т. К.

00:15:44,779 --> 00:15:47,936

Терри, думаю, ты прав.

Мы полюбили этот фильм. Вместе.

00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:51,569

Помнишь, мы сделали Фанбакета,

он спятил и напал на город?

00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:54,852

Да, здорово было.

А помнишь, ты сделал логово

00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:57,018

и закопал во дворе этого жуткого робота?

00:15:57,104 --> 00:15:59,193

Ты любил её. А помнишь день музыки?

00:15:59,279 --> 00:16:01,361

Да. Или когда мы выступили с Симпсонами

00:16:01,447 --> 00:16:03,454

в матче против монстров?

00:16:03,539 --> 00:16:07,169

Знаешь, может, мы не выбирали

друг друга, но мы жили хорошо.

00:16:07,255 --> 00:16:09,560

– Не хочу терять это.

– Я тоже, Корво.

00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,372

– Господи!

– Привет.

00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:14,289

Посмотрел фото моего холма? Здорово, да?

00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:18,047

Что значит «не понравилось»?!

Ты не хочешь фотку моего лысого холма?!

00:16:18,132 --> 00:16:19,491

Ты не видел корку?!

00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:22,434

Ванбо! Что делать?

00:16:22,496 --> 00:16:24,594

Это шанс всё исправить.

Ударь его палкой!

00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,385

– Чем?

– Вещи-трогателайзером!

00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:28,042

Ах да, точно.

00:16:30,804 --> 00:16:33,554

– Ванбо, что с тобой? Что происходит?

– Хватит!

00:17:09,235 --> 00:17:11,403

Вот куда ты хотел сводить меня?

00:17:11,487 --> 00:17:13,821

Ты же говорил, йогурт –

мороженое для наркоманов.

00:17:13,905 --> 00:17:16,753

О, раньше. Но теперь я мил с тобой

00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,466

и буду есть отвратительную

холодную слизь.

00:17:19,881 --> 00:17:21,714

Ты в порядке, Юмьюлак?

00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:26,244

Да. Вставай в очередь. Я подержу твою

сумочку, пока ты будешь заказывать.

00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,580

– Ты предложил подержать сумку?

– Да.

00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:30,542

– И пропустить?

– Конечно.

00:17:30,626 --> 00:17:33,137

Что ж, ладно. Звучит здорово.

00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:36,567

Только я… вот он. Да!

00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:41,091

– Боже! Что ты наделала?

– Не волнуйтесь, это не мой брат.

00:17:41,175 --> 00:17:43,874

Это симуляция из камеры воображения,

00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:47,157

которая перенесла его

сознание в трёхмерное тело.

00:17:47,243 --> 00:17:50,628

Джесси, за что? Я же был мил.

00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:52,509

Я вызываю полицию! Ни с места!

00:17:53,819 --> 00:17:56,017

Ты превратила его в игровой картридж!

00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:58,520

– Забудьте, что видели, сэр.

– Не могу!

00:17:58,604 --> 00:18:00,390

Это так необычно!

00:18:00,476 --> 00:18:04,068

Прошу, проснись!

Прости, что создала Веселака.

00:18:04,154 --> 00:18:08,264

Иногда ты вёл себя как придурок,

но ты мой брат, и я тебя люблю.

00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:10,968

Привет, Джесси.

Продолжим нашу дискуссию,

00:18:11,052 --> 00:18:12,626

кто круче: Пита или Гэйл?

00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,921

Или, может, поучимся танцевать?

00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,342

Ты не Юмьюлак. Ты Веселак!

00:18:18,427 --> 00:18:20,574

Спасибо за сладкие поцелуи.

00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:24,561

Включи паузу! Включи паузу!

Боже, нет! Я убила Юмьюлака!

00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:28,207

Я убила Юмьюлака и

превратила его в картридж.

00:18:28,292 --> 00:18:31,962

Как и было предсказано

в записке из печеньки!

00:18:42,303 --> 00:18:45,097

– Ну? Кто здесь синий Шрек?

– Избавимся от тела.

00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:46,998

У тебя превращатель в картридж?

00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,520

Нет, он всегда нужен, когда его нет.

00:18:54,436 --> 00:18:56,146

Помни, Терри, мы герои.

00:18:59,069 --> 00:19:01,399

– Получилось! Ванбо нет!

– Мы починили время!

00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:04,028

– Эй! Да!

– Отлично.

00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:09,279

Эх... Похоже, мы

00:19:09,364 --> 00:19:12,638

– немного изменили поток времени.

– Что ж, не так уж плохо.

00:19:12,723 --> 00:19:15,042

С этим можно смириться, если Ванбо нет.

00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,610

Привет, придурки.

00:19:19,696 --> 00:19:21,370

Ванбо! Что ты здесь делаешь?

00:19:21,456 --> 00:19:23,080

Ты должен быть мёртв!

00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:25,802

Должен быть мёртв. Но меня спас

00:19:25,887 --> 00:19:29,723

и помог мне восстановиться

кое-кто особенный.

00:19:30,616 --> 00:19:32,661

– Привет, Терри.

– Тэрри через «э»?

00:19:32,746 --> 00:19:35,785

– Что ты здесь делаешь?

– Я научный партнёр Ванбо.

00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,487

И теперь меня больше не зовут Тэрри.

00:19:38,573 --> 00:19:41,730

Ммм. Я Вэнби. Тоже через «э».

00:19:41,816 --> 00:19:43,548

– Чёрт. Как круто.

– Мы искали вас

00:19:43,632 --> 00:19:46,752

по всей галактике.

Я знаю, это вы напали на меня

00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:48,438

с палкой времени на Шлорпе.

00:19:48,524 --> 00:19:50,590

Мы… не понимаем, о чём ты.

00:19:50,676 --> 00:19:52,666

У меня для вас важные новости.

00:19:52,752 --> 00:19:55,794

– Шлорп не взрывался.

– Что?

00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,470

И я прилетел, чтобы вернуть вас.

Вы подвергнетесь

00:19:58,555 --> 00:20:01,849

наказанию за использование

вещи-трогателайзера

00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:04,286

– без лицензии!

– Что?!

00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:08,077

Терри, Корво! Я убила Юмьюлака и

превратила его тело в картридж!

00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,282

– Его больше нет!

– Что?!

00:20:10,366 --> 00:20:12,301

О! Ещё кое-что. Когда мы улетим,

00:20:12,387 --> 00:20:15,701

я взорву эту тупую,

дурацкую планету Земля,

00:20:15,786 --> 00:20:18,435

потому что так поступает Ванбо.

00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,675

Этого не может быть!

00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,471

За что? Почему это происходит?

00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,563

Стой. Она права.

00:20:25,648 --> 00:20:27,910

– Этого не может быть.

– Но есть.

00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:30,497

Слишком много безумных событий сразу.

00:20:30,582 --> 00:20:32,312

В жизни так не бывает.

00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,982

Нет-нет-нет! Это нереалистично.

00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,067

Этот парень спятил.

00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,827

– Посмотрим, как он наложит в штаны.

– Ты не видишь?

00:20:37,913 --> 00:20:40,412

Путешествие во времени, смерть

Юмьюлака, Шлорп не взорвался.

00:20:40,497 --> 00:20:42,344

Брось. Это слишком.

00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:46,633

– Подумай. Целый список. Это перебор!

– Нереалистично.

00:20:46,717 --> 00:20:50,600

Да? Вы уверены, что мы не в матрице?

00:20:50,686 --> 00:20:52,262

Или в перезагруженной матрице?

00:20:52,348 --> 00:20:53,993

Вокруг летали бы зелёные цифры

00:20:54,079 --> 00:20:55,897

– и солнечные очки.

– Значит, что-то другое.

00:20:55,982 --> 00:20:59,903

И я узнаю что.

Может, это что-то типа «Экзистенции»?

00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:02,318

Хватит. Недавно ты решил,

что мы в «Экзистенции»,

00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:04,391

потому что нам дали лишнюю картошку.

00:21:04,477 --> 00:21:06,987

У тебя каждый раз «Экзистенция».

00:21:07,073 --> 00:21:09,695

Правда, умник?

Боты для путешествия во времени

00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:12,685

можно использовать, когда хочешь.

Ты хотел узнать про Пупу.

00:21:12,769 --> 00:21:14,513

Почему не воспользовался ими?

00:21:14,598 --> 00:21:16,533

Почему не воспользовался?

00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:18,281

Уверен, есть логичное объяснение.

00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:21,523

Нет, его нет. Ясно? Замолчи. Мы где-то

00:21:21,607 --> 00:21:24,584

в «Странных днях», в «Других ипостасях»,

в «Газонокосильщике» и «Хортоне».

00:21:24,670 --> 00:21:26,945

– Может, это «Трон»?

– Не подстрекай. Это не «Трон».

00:21:27,029 --> 00:21:30,635

– Может, мы спим?

– Другой разговор! Уверен,

00:21:30,719 --> 00:21:33,504

это какая-то фантастика вроде «Начала»,

00:21:33,588 --> 00:21:36,731

«Куда приводят мечты»,

«Иосиф и его удивительный плащ снов».

00:21:36,815 --> 00:21:39,097

Не может быть. Корво не затащат в сон.

00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:41,101

В чьём мы сне? А? Проснись! Проснись!

00:21:41,186 --> 00:21:43,027

– Хватит. Прекрати.

– Ты должен проснуться.

00:21:43,111 --> 00:21:44,731

– Не трогай меня, Ванбо. Стой.

– Проснись.

00:21:44,817 --> 00:21:47,961

– Проснись, Корво. Давай, ты сможешь.

– Не спать, Корво. Проснись.

00:21:48,046 --> 00:21:51,419

– Просыпайся.

– Я пытаюсь. Пытаюсь.

00:21:51,589 --> 00:21:54,249

О, и давно вы в комнате воображения?

00:21:55,092 --> 00:21:57,402

Хах! Я знал! Ничего этого не было.

00:21:58,013 --> 00:22:00,881

Что за…

Откуда у Пупы свисток Гарри Поттера?

00:22:00,966 --> 00:22:03,023

– Мы же заперли его.

– Как он достал его?

00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,947

– Не смотри на меня.

– Это ты ему дал.

00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,447

– Не я!

– Терри.

00:22:06,532 --> 00:22:08,701

Хватит поднимать ложную

тревогу из-за Пупы.

00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,729

Из-за тебя я начал гублерить.

00:22:10,815 --> 00:22:12,607

Ладно. Хорошо.

00:22:16,024 --> 00:22:18,953

– Странно. Раньше такого не было.

– Пупа, хватит.

00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:20,969

Может, сказать Терри и Корво?

00:22:21,054 --> 00:22:22,663

Нет. Они и так на взводе.

00:22:22,749 --> 00:22:25,086

Что, если он убьёт всех нас?

00:22:25,172 --> 00:22:27,174

Ну да, сейчас. Такого не будет.

00:22:29,903 --> 00:22:31,734

Увидимся в новом сезоне.

00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:38,992

Терри!

00:22:51,862 --> 00:22:53,467

Терри!

00:23:15,827 --> 00:23:17,422

Терри!

00:23:24,241 --> 00:23:25,862

Терри!

00:23:39,366 --> 00:23:42,480

Хулу. Хулу. Хулу.

00:00:07,318 --> 00:00:10,368

Теперь вы Авраам Линкольн, истребитель машин.

00:00:10,368 --> 00:00:12,078

Черт возьми, да. Поехали.

00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,238

- Терри!

- Я занят, занимаюсь.

00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:15,288

Это важно. Пупа стал оранжевым.

00:00:15,288 --> 00:00:17,908

И? Эй, ты сломал мой планшет!

00:00:17,908 --> 00:00:20,958

Пупа не должен быть оранжевым. Он Pantone 101-C.

00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,788

- Что это значит?

- Откуда я, блин, знаю?

00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:26,338

Потому что это твоя работа, Терри. Я чиню корабль, а ты заботишься о Пупе.

00:00:26,338 --> 00:00:29,338

Точно, да, это моя работа. Это правда.

00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:30,838

Когда он эволюционирует в конечную форму,

00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:32,468

он поглотит все на этой планете

00:00:32,468 --> 00:00:34,388

и террареформирует ее, чтобы создать наш новый дом.

00:00:34,388 --> 00:00:36,058

- Ага.

- А это значит, что нас съедят

00:00:36,058 --> 00:00:37,928

и мы трансформируемся вместе со всем, наверное.

00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:40,438

Что, если то, что он стал оранжевым, - это первый признак конца света?

00:00:40,438 --> 00:00:42,768

Подожди, мне кажется, у него жар. Это важно?

00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,938

Нет, у него всегда жар. К счастью, я гений

00:00:44,938 --> 00:00:46,898

и подозревал, что ты с этим не справишься,

00:00:46,898 --> 00:00:49,448

поэтому я написал всю важную информацию о Пупе на карточке.

00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:51,568

Она в моем кошельке. Сейчас найду его.

00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:52,568

Черт возьми, куда я положил...

00:00:52,568 --> 00:00:55,198

Когда мне последний раз нужна была шлорпианская валюта?

00:00:55,198 --> 00:00:56,948

Это было в кафе Armenian deli?

00:00:56,948 --> 00:00:58,498

Это же было на Шлорпе!

00:00:58,498 --> 00:01:00,368

Но планета была разрушена в начальных титрах.

00:01:00,368 --> 00:01:03,538

У нас нет выбора. Я должен использовать Вернись-по-Следам-айзер,

00:01:03,538 --> 00:01:06,548

чтобы вернуться назад во времени, отправиться на нашу планету

00:01:06,548 --> 00:01:07,958

и найти мой кошелек.

00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,258

Я, пожалуй, откажусь. Похоже, предстоит много работы,

00:01:10,258 --> 00:01:12,968

а Пупа никого пока не убивал на Земле, так что...

00:01:12,968 --> 00:01:15,008

Он взорвется!

00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:19,978

Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией. До падения астероида.

00:01:21,188 --> 00:01:23,558

Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой

00:01:23,558 --> 00:01:25,688

и отправились в космос

00:01:25,688 --> 00:01:28,028

в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.

00:01:28,778 --> 00:01:31,658

Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселенной планете.

00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,318

Верно, это я говорил все это время.

00:01:33,318 --> 00:01:35,118

Я тот, который держут Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.

00:01:35,118 --> 00:01:36,948

Это... это мое шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу.

00:01:36,948 --> 00:01:38,908

Видите меня? Это просто смешно.

00:01:38,908 --> 00:01:40,908

Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.

00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:43,748

Люди глупые. Где, черт возьми, все динозавры?

00:01:43,748 --> 00:01:45,458

Что они сделали со всеми динозаврами?

00:01:53,428 --> 00:01:57,218

Итак, где этот Вершись-что-то-гейзер?

00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,178

Он выглядит как корабль с огромными часами?

00:01:59,178 --> 00:02:01,138

Вернись-по-Следам-айзер. Это хай-тек обувь,

00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,978

благодаря которой можно отправиться назад

00:02:02,978 --> 00:02:04,518

туда, где мы стояли в прошлом.

00:02:04,518 --> 00:02:06,438

Они стоят $11 млрд за один ботинок.

00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:07,858

- А они светятся?

- Мои - да.

00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:11,108

- А почему это у тебя крутые?

- Потому что я главный.

00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:14,238

Вернись-по-Следам-айзером надо знать, как пользоваться.

00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:16,528

Если ошибиться, то это может закончится катастрофой

00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:18,618

для пространственно-временного континуума. Понимаешь, Терри?

00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:20,828

- У обуви есть правила. Понял.

- Правило номер один.

00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:22,788

При использовании Вернись-по-Следам-айзера

00:02:22,788 --> 00:02:25,128

никто нас не увидит и не услышит.

00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:28,878

Два: мы можем находиться в прошлом только 8 часов, иначе превратимся в жижу.

00:02:28,878 --> 00:02:30,668

Три: мы не можем научиться ничему ново...

00:02:30,668 --> 00:02:34,258

Заметка для самого себя: крендельки - это самая недооцененная закуска.

00:02:34,258 --> 00:02:37,138

Надо сказать это тем, кто делает эти меню.

00:02:37,138 --> 00:02:39,428

Чертовы меню. Некоторые из них слишком длинные.

00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:41,848

Слишком много пунктов. Именно поэтому я не люблю китайскую кухню.

00:02:41,848 --> 00:02:43,058

- Больше причин нет.

- Ты меня слушаешь?

00:02:43,058 --> 00:02:44,308

Да, да, жижа. Продолжай.

00:02:46,058 --> 00:02:49,398

Джесси, ты снова не закрыла Палубу-Воображатор.

00:02:51,398 --> 00:02:53,608

Добро пожаловать на Палубу-Воображатор, Юмьюлак.

00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,948

Эй, Аиша, включи последнюю программу, которую запускала Джесси.

00:02:55,948 --> 00:02:58,158

Это нарушение приватности, как ты считаешь?

00:02:58,158 --> 00:02:59,488

Да, именно поэтому это и круто.

00:02:59,488 --> 00:03:00,868

Обойти протокол.

00:03:00,868 --> 00:03:03,368

Пароль: Panera Bread с 3 вместо Е.

00:03:03,368 --> 00:03:06,368

Принято. Загружаю последнюю программу, маленький ты псих.

00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:09,288

Привет, Джесси, я Весельюлак.

00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:11,918

Хочешь продолжить примерку?

00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:13,718

Мы остановились на костюмах ковбоя.

00:03:13,718 --> 00:03:16,338

Что это за черт? Что это значит?

00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:18,348

Я Весельюлак. Я прямо как ты,

00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:21,308

но веселее и милее. А еще я знаю, как заплетать косички и печь хлеб.

00:03:21,308 --> 00:03:23,978

У Джесси есть более милый я? Это невозможно.

00:03:23,978 --> 00:03:26,898

Каждый раз, когда я захожу в комнату, кто-то говорит: "Ну класс".

00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:28,938

Ну, Джесси думает, что ты мудак. Она однажды сказала...

00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:30,018

Он пытался продать меня

00:03:30,018 --> 00:03:31,938

ведьме за PS4.

00:03:31,938 --> 00:03:33,568

Да, но она не согласилась.

00:03:33,568 --> 00:03:36,528

Нельзя жаловаться, что тебя почти что продали ведьме.

00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,778

Он смеется над тем, как я хожу и дышу.

00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:39,988

Да ладно.

00:03:39,988 --> 00:03:43,748

Ты вообще видел, как она ходит? Топ, топ, топ, вдох, вдох.

00:03:43,748 --> 00:03:45,658

Мне нравится то, как она ходит. И что теперь?

00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,078

Я думаю, она ходит элегантно.

- Тогда почему бы вам не жениться?

00:03:48,078 --> 00:03:50,248

- Я бы хотел.

- Отвратительно!

00:03:50,248 --> 00:03:52,708

Это бред. Я же супер-милый.

00:03:52,708 --> 00:03:54,838

Похоже, мне нужно заставить Джесси любить меня

00:03:54,838 --> 00:03:56,718

с помощью Крейга Ти и Нельсона.

00:03:56,718 --> 00:03:59,588

Правило 58: ни в кого не влюблйся в прошлом,

00:03:59,588 --> 00:04:01,508

или мы превратимся в жижу. Ты спишь?

00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,428

Не трогать ничего, иначе мы превратимся в жижу.

00:04:03,428 --> 00:04:05,678

Жаль, что я не могу ничего касаться, это невозможно.

00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,478

- Мы как призраки.

- Но тогда

00:04:07,478 --> 00:04:08,478

как нам забрать твой кошелек?

00:04:08,478 --> 00:04:11,148

Нам придется использоваться Ткни-Свое-Барахло-Айзер.

00:04:13,978 --> 00:04:15,858

Вау, это с нашей планеты?

00:04:15,858 --> 00:04:19,028

Похоже на палку с ложкой-вилкой на конце.

00:04:19,028 --> 00:04:20,988

Знаешь, для этого обычно нужна лицензия,

00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:22,948

но так офис уничтожен, то проблем у нас не будет.

00:04:22,948 --> 00:04:25,288

А теперь время вернуться по следам.

00:04:46,058 --> 00:04:47,348

Прекрасный Шлорп.

00:04:47,348 --> 00:04:50,598

Как я скучал по этому классному тоталитарному месту.

00:04:50,598 --> 00:04:52,478

Оно намного меньше, чем мне казалось.

00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:55,068

Никогда не думал, что снова увижу свою старую комнату.

00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:56,988

О боже, тут я так наслаждался своими уравнениями.

00:04:56,988 --> 00:04:58,608

Ты трахал математику? Дичь.

00:04:58,608 --> 00:04:59,908

Это молодой ты.

00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,318

Черт, ты был таким стройным.

00:05:02,318 --> 00:05:05,038

Серьезно, встань рядом. Посмотри, как отличаешься.

00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,248

Ты себя запустил!

00:05:07,248 --> 00:05:08,908

Смотри, ты оставил кошелек на столе.

00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,918

Отлично, Терри. Теперь я воспользуюсь палкой,

00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,168

чтобы дотыкать кошелек до корабля в космическом порте.

00:05:13,168 --> 00:05:15,958

Тогда он будет на корабле, когда мы вернемся в настоящее.

00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,258

Ты специально промахиваешься, чтобы меня посмешить?

00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,468

- Прекрати смотреть.

- Получается.

00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:21,548

Не смотри на меня.

00:05:24,928 --> 00:05:26,718

Привет, малыш.

00:05:26,718 --> 00:05:29,428

Хочешь черствых печенюшек из жестянки?

00:05:31,478 --> 00:05:33,228

Где я? Мы мертвы?

00:05:33,228 --> 00:05:34,608

Добрый день, Лоррейн.

00:05:34,608 --> 00:05:37,978

Я знаю, что ты многое потеряла за эти годы.

00:05:37,978 --> 00:05:40,818

Твои дети переехали. Твой муж умер.

00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,698

Даже твои друзья умерли.

00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:46,278

Все, что у тебя осталось, это твои воспоминания.

00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:47,988

Это твой шанс, Лоррейн.

00:05:47,988 --> 00:05:51,668

Я могу забраться в твое сознание и показать тебе любое твое воспоминание.

00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:54,498

Есть что-либо, что ты уже не помнишь,

00:05:54,498 --> 00:05:56,168

что я мог бы показать тебе?

00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:59,128

Я не помню лица своей матери.

00:05:59,128 --> 00:06:02,508

Как бы я хотела увидеть ее еще разок.

00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:11,268

Все такие спокойные, хотя их скоро уничтожит.

00:06:11,268 --> 00:06:14,438

Такое развитое общество. Кроме зон для паники.

00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:15,858

Я смирился со своей смертью,

00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:18,278

хотя я буду скучать по своим друзьям и семье, когда умру.

00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,898

Этот парень просто позорит себя.

00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:21,818

Эй, мы почти добрались до порта.

00:06:21,818 --> 00:06:24,528

Нам нужно просто допихать этого плохиша до шлюза.

00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:25,868

У тебя получится!

00:06:26,658 --> 00:06:27,658

Черт возьми!

00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:30,788

Миссия выполнена, отправляемся обратно.

00:06:30,788 --> 00:06:32,658

Я хочу посмотреть Hulu.

00:06:36,958 --> 00:06:39,548

Наконец-то мы получим ответы о Пупе. Ладно,

00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:42,548

если Пупа стал оранжевым, то он съел что-то оранжевое.

00:06:42,548 --> 00:06:45,138

Ну, я скормил ему пачку Доритос.

00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,008

Я и сам в прошлом году стал оранжевым из-за этого.

00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,518

Это отлично. Нас не поглотит Пупа,

00:06:50,518 --> 00:06:52,888

по крайней мере, не сегодня, и мы изменили прошлое, не создав

00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:56,098

никакого эффекта бабочки. Так что все получилось.

00:06:56,098 --> 00:06:58,728

- Посмотри, какие мы молодцы.

- О да, это так.

00:06:58,728 --> 00:07:01,188

- Эй, придурки!

00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,358

У нас пиво закончилось.

00:07:04,648 --> 00:07:07,488

Кто-нибудь купит еще?

00:07:07,488 --> 00:07:08,988

Стоп, что? Кто ты вообще такой?

00:07:08,988 --> 00:07:10,578

Черт возьми, в нашем доме пришелец!

00:07:10,578 --> 00:07:12,578

Хватит прикалываться, вам есть чем заняться.

00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:15,078

Помогите сложить все мои жилеты и перчатки без пальцев.

00:07:15,078 --> 00:07:17,958

Мне казалось, ты сказал, что все были уничтожены.

00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,878

Кто ты такой и что ты делаешь в нашем доме?

00:07:19,878 --> 00:07:21,758

О чем это вы? Я Ванбо.

00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,628

Мы вместе улетели со Шлорпа, помните?

00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:26,428

Ванбо? Я правильно произношу? Ванбо?

00:07:26,428 --> 00:07:28,138

Воу, Корво!

00:07:28,138 --> 00:07:30,348

А ты набрал килограммов, приятель.

00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:31,678

Ты выглядишь как синий Шрек.

00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:34,348

Где твой осел, синий Шрек?

00:07:35,768 --> 00:07:38,688

А, и Терри, я сломал твой PS4, потому что попытался приготовить в нем пиццу.

00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:41,188

Эй, я только что получил его от ведьмы. Сукин ты...

00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,358

Ладно, что за фигня происходит?

00:07:44,358 --> 00:07:46,198

Похоже, мы случайно изменили что-то в прошлом,

00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,568

из-за чего мы попали в темное, извращенное время.

00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,328

Из-за этого Ванбо полетел с нами

00:07:51,328 --> 00:07:53,118

и жил тут все это время.

00:07:53,118 --> 00:07:55,618

Эй, я не смогу жить с таким тупым чуваком.

00:07:55,618 --> 00:07:58,918

Я уверен, что у него есть подкаст с Истинным преступлением. Он точно сам этим занимается.

00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:01,088

Слушать его - ладно. Заниматься им - нет.

00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:03,338

Мы должны вернуться в прошлое и переделать события с кошельком,

00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:05,258

что вернет нас в правильное время.

00:08:05,258 --> 00:08:06,378

И тогда мы избавимся от Ванбо?

00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:08,798

В правильном времени Ванбо умер на Шлорпе.

00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:12,308

Так что да, но дело не в Ванбо. Мы должны починить время.

00:08:12,308 --> 00:08:13,638

Да, да, время - это самое важное,

00:08:13,638 --> 00:08:15,058

но ты уверен, что Ванбо умрет?

00:08:15,058 --> 00:08:17,348

Да, его тело испарится из-за астероида.

00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:19,098

- Мы-мы герои.

- Терри, иди на кухню

00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,518

и приготовь мне сэндвич с ветчиной!

00:08:20,518 --> 00:08:21,978

Быстрее, пошли, идем.

00:08:26,858 --> 00:08:28,068

Вот наша палка.

00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:30,488

Теперь нам надо просто вытолкать кошелек обратно.

00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:33,698

Это отменит изменения в нашем времени.

00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:35,328

- Мы герои.

- Это точно.

00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,838

Итак, Джесси, расскажи, как прошел твой день или типа того.

00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:43,378

- Серьезно?

- Ага.

00:08:43,378 --> 00:08:45,508

- Я узнала, что Лоренс начал...

- Да плевать.

00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:48,468

Да божечки, у меня что, смп?

00:08:48,468 --> 00:08:50,218

Да, но это ничего не меняет.

00:08:50,218 --> 00:08:51,718

Я хочу нравится тебе, ничего не делая.

00:08:51,718 --> 00:08:53,098

Я хочу нравится без причины.

00:08:53,098 --> 00:08:56,598

Подожди, тебе не плевать? Это так мило.

00:08:56,598 --> 00:08:59,308

Нет, я просто не хочу волноваться,

00:08:59,308 --> 00:09:02,358

что ты выстрелишь в меня из гребаного пистолета, когда я достану тебя.

00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,568

О чем ты вообще?

00:09:03,568 --> 00:09:05,028

Я не знаю! Иди к черту!

00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,358

Что за драма-квин.

00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:11,658

Ванбо? Тут есть кто-нибудь, кого зовут Ванбо?

00:09:11,658 --> 00:09:13,618

- Ищем Ванбо.

- Что? Нет.

00:09:13,618 --> 00:09:15,038

- Да, да, отлично!

- О да!

00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:16,698

Он ушел по своим делам.

00:09:16,698 --> 00:09:19,498

Хей, Ванбо вернулся!

00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:22,288

Хорошие новости. Я обменял машину по созданию золота

00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,168

на этих дорогих крыс.

00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:27,338

Видите? Они вас уже любят.

00:09:27,338 --> 00:09:28,918

Посмотрите. Ну чмокните их.

00:09:30,428 --> 00:09:32,588

К черту.

00:09:33,388 --> 00:09:35,098

Мы не можем вернуться в настоящее, пока не выясним,

00:09:35,098 --> 00:09:37,308

как у Ванбо получается избегать уничтожения.

00:09:37,308 --> 00:09:39,098

Я даже не помню, как мы с ним живем.

00:09:39,098 --> 00:09:41,348

Кто бы мог подумать, что путешествия во времени - это так трудно.

00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,438

Путешествия во времени должны быть простыми. Я не виноват.

00:09:43,438 --> 00:09:44,898

Ну, это и не моя вина.

00:09:44,898 --> 00:09:47,648

Эй, посмотри, прошлые мы встречаемся впервые.

00:09:47,648 --> 00:09:48,858

Только взгляни на это.

00:09:48,858 --> 00:09:50,778

Я рад, что мы отправимся на миссию вместе.

00:09:50,778 --> 00:09:53,198

Я уверен, ты любишь науку и восхлавляешь логику.

00:09:53,198 --> 00:09:54,868

О да. Наука рулит.

00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:59,038

Мне все это нравится, а еще я эксперт по Пупам. Я знаю все о Пупах.

00:09:59,038 --> 00:10:01,288

Терри, проследи за прошлым мной, а я пойду за прошлым тобой.

00:10:01,288 --> 00:10:02,418

Нет, я хочу пойти за прошлым собой.

00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:04,458

Терри, так как мы не помним, как мы жили с Ванбо,

00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:06,708

то нам лучше изучить действия друг друга.

00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:09,208

- Увидимся в космическом порту.

- Ладно, звучит неплохо.

00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:15,508

Я снова молодая,

00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:19,428

Милая, не поможешь мне разобрать покупки?

00:10:19,428 --> 00:10:21,428

Мама, ты такая красивая.

00:10:21,428 --> 00:10:24,018

О, это так мило.

00:10:24,018 --> 00:10:26,188

Я так по тебе соскучилась.

00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:29,528

Бежим со мной.

00:10:50,088 --> 00:10:53,758

Моя милая мама. Теперь, раз я помню, как она выглядит,

00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:56,598

я смогу найти ее на небесах.

00:10:56,598 --> 00:11:00,468

Теперь я могу умереть, зная, что все хорошо.

00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:03,558

Спасибо. Наверное, есть какой-то способ

00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:05,808

отплатить тебе за это.

00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:08,768

На моей кухне есть ящик с защитой от детей.

00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,688

Внутри лежат две батарейки АА и свисток Гарри Поттера.

00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:13,068

Принеси их мне.

00:11:13,198 --> 00:11:16,448

- Тебе нужны батарейки?

- И свисток Гарри Поттера.

00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,908

Черт, ты прав. Я не слишком-то милый.

00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:22,368

Остой. Я думал, что я классный.

00:11:22,368 --> 00:11:25,368

Юмьюлак, друг мой, признание того, что ты остойный,

00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:27,418

это первый шаг к тому, чтобы стать лучше.

00:11:27,418 --> 00:11:30,628

Ладно, уродец, скажи мне уже, как лучше относиться к Джесси.

00:11:30,628 --> 00:11:33,168

Ну, мы обычно тусуемся с ней в ее любимом месте.

00:11:33,798 --> 00:11:35,798

Боже, это так глупо.

00:11:35,798 --> 00:11:38,298

Добро пожаловать в кафе пастеризованного йогурта от Пастера,

00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,388

первое в мире кафе йогурта от Луи Пастера.

00:11:40,388 --> 00:11:42,308

Привет, Тодд. Ты подогреваешь молоко,

00:11:42,308 --> 00:11:43,848

чтобы его было безопасно пить, да?

00:11:43,848 --> 00:11:46,478

Это и есть пастеризация, приятель.

00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:49,688

Как нелепо. Джесси просто неудачница.

00:11:49,688 --> 00:11:50,978

Заткнись уже!

00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,938

Я бы так и сказал. Ты прямо как я.

00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:55,818

Неправда. А теперь я покажу тебе, как быть милым.

00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,908

Аиша, дай-ка нам голограмму Джесси.

00:11:58,908 --> 00:12:00,328

Ладно.

00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:03,158

Привет, Джесси. Приятно пахнешь.

00:12:03,158 --> 00:12:05,078

Давай попробуем вместе новые вкусы.

00:12:05,078 --> 00:12:06,408

Спасибо, лучший друг.

00:12:06,408 --> 00:12:08,578

Я хочу ананасовую прививку от кори.

00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:09,878

Умри! Я первый!

00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:13,508

Программа, стоп. Юм, дорогой, ты плохо себя ведешь.

00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:15,588

Ты правда думаешь, что кричать "умри" мило?

00:12:15,588 --> 00:12:16,968

- Да.

- Нет, это мерзко.

00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:19,798

- Эй, ты меня обманул.

- Ну ладно, давай начнем с основ.

00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:21,508

Просто попробуй улыбнуться ей.

00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:24,638

Да уж, ночка будет длинной.

00:12:24,638 --> 00:12:26,558

Кажется, нужна голограмма кофе.

00:12:29,268 --> 00:12:33,648

Почва, из которой мы вырастаем. Я не перестану восхищаться твоими тайнами.

00:12:33,648 --> 00:12:35,028

Вот задрот.

00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:37,318

Начинается перерыв на отдых.

00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:40,028

Коллеги, я только что познакомился со специалистом по Пупе,

00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:41,988

и он...

- Красавчик, он скажет красавчик.

00:12:41,988 --> 00:12:43,828

Идиот. Просто взгляните на это тупое лицо.

00:12:43,828 --> 00:12:45,658

Он вряд ли отличит комплекс флорвокс

00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:47,868

от фазового генератора гортрино.

00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,128

Не-веро-ятно

00:12:51,998 --> 00:12:55,548

Погрузите вашу Пупу на сантиметр в краситель

00:12:55,548 --> 00:12:57,718

и оставьте окрашиваться на три часа.

00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:59,548

Как делишки, Тери? Я скучал.

00:12:59,548 --> 00:13:01,298

Ты ж моя маленькая крошка-картошка.

00:13:01,298 --> 00:13:03,928

Срань Господня, и это вторая половинка Терри?

00:13:03,928 --> 00:13:06,848

И ее тоже зовут Тери? Он про это ничего не рассказывал.

00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:09,348

Я только что познакомился с напарником по эвакуации.

00:13:09,348 --> 00:13:10,938

Полный зануда.

00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:13,568

Фигово, что я не могу взять тебя вместо его скучной плоской задницы.

00:13:13,568 --> 00:13:17,188

Номер 31827, тишина! И застегни верхнюю пуговицу!

00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:18,818

Но так я выгляжу круче!

00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:20,568

Единообразие - вот, что круто!

00:13:20,568 --> 00:13:23,578

Единообразие - это круто,

00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:25,078

единообразие - это круто.

00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:28,118

Да, Джесси, выбрать ванильное - это нормально

00:13:28,118 --> 00:13:30,418

и вовсе не по-детски.

00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:33,668

Нет, нельзя... стой-ка, ты сделал это. Аиша, проанализируй на злой умысел.

00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:35,128

Злой умысел не обнаружен.

00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:37,168

- Я сделал это.

- Поздравляю, Юмьюлак.

00:13:37,168 --> 00:13:39,088

За твою усердную работу я награждаю тебя

00:13:39,088 --> 00:13:40,968

этим стикером с твоим любимым Мстителем.

00:13:40,968 --> 00:13:42,798

Крутенько! Соколиный глаз!

00:13:42,798 --> 00:13:44,508

У него есть колчан. Его зовут Клинт.

00:13:44,508 --> 00:13:48,388

Моя суперсила - бить в цель. Целюсь в тебя. Или в тебя.

00:13:48,388 --> 00:13:50,938

- Сегодня будешь спать как убитый.

- Целюсь в тебя...

00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:55,688

Когда в последний раз ты прибирался в Стене?

00:13:55,688 --> 00:13:59,318

Все стало супергрязным с тех пор, как они изобрели религию.

00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:01,398

Джесси, я хотел поздороваться с тобой

00:14:01,398 --> 00:14:03,908

и сказать, что твой бантик выглядит мило.

00:14:03,908 --> 00:14:05,368

Так, в чем подвох?

00:14:05,368 --> 00:14:06,788

Если так, скажи сразу.

00:14:06,788 --> 00:14:08,698

- Я просто хотел сделать тебе комплимент.

- Правда?

00:14:08,698 --> 00:14:10,748

Да, и я его сделал. Пора валить, пока я все не испортил.

00:14:10,748 --> 00:14:12,368

Выглядишь круто, пока!

00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,918

- Ты сукин сын!

- Ага, а знаешь, кто ты?

00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,298

Ты полный отстой.

- Ты хотел взять

00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:21,168

свою тупую вторую половинку на Землю?

00:14:21,168 --> 00:14:22,878

Ты думаешь, что Тери с одной "р" лучше меня?

00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:24,218

Ты сказал, что у меня лицо тупое

00:14:24,218 --> 00:14:25,678

и что я не знаю, что делать с Пупой.

00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,888

Так ты и не знаешь!

00:14:31,888 --> 00:14:33,768

Я сделал это. Я был мил к Джесси.

00:14:33,768 --> 00:14:35,648

Я самый милый парниша на свете.

00:14:35,648 --> 00:14:37,648

- Это замечательно.

- Спасибо тебе огромное,

00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:39,988

что потратил время, чтобы сделать меня лучше.

00:14:39,988 --> 00:14:41,948

И теперь я могу мило удалить твою задницу.

00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,908

- Эй, удалять кого-то - это не мило.

- Ага, знаю.

00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:47,078

Но я не хочу, чтобы Джесси узнала, что мне нужен тренер по милости.

00:14:47,078 --> 00:14:48,198

Так что вали в мусорку.

00:14:48,198 --> 00:14:50,038

Было приятно учить тебя.

00:14:50,038 --> 00:14:52,408

Знаешь, я вообще-то и у тебя кое-чему научился.

00:14:52,408 --> 00:14:53,868

- Правда? И чему же?

- Как быть мудаком!

00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:55,248

Хрен тебе!

00:15:01,878 --> 00:15:03,628

Боже мой! Какого черта?

00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:06,218

Наконец-то у Джесси будет брат, которого она заслуживает.

00:15:06,758 --> 00:15:08,848

Ну все, все, все.

00:15:08,848 --> 00:15:10,468

Хватит, решено. Нашему союзу конец.

00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:11,678

- Да.

- Когда вернемся в наше время,

00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,638

я соберу вещи и перееду в Сан-Диего.

00:15:13,638 --> 00:15:16,268

Я сниму квартиру в Квартале Газовых Фонарей, буду есть рыбные тако

00:15:16,268 --> 00:15:17,728

и забуду о тебе.

- Чем раньше, тем лучше.

00:15:17,728 --> 00:15:19,648

У нас все равно ничего хорошего бы не вышло.

00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:23,068

Посмотри, какие репликанты миленькие.

00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:24,608

Ага, и правда миленькие. Мы все миленькие.

00:15:24,608 --> 00:15:27,238

Только посмотри, два обычный инопланетянина со своими репликантами

00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:29,278

думают о том, как полетят в космос

00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:30,788

и терраформируют какую-нибудь луну.

00:15:30,788 --> 00:15:32,868

Мы и понятия не имели, во что ввязались.

00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:36,118

Знаешь, Терри, мы провели так много времени на Земле, притворяясь семьей,

00:15:36,118 --> 00:15:38,498

что я даже не заметили, как и правда ею стали.

00:15:38,498 --> 00:15:40,418

Я думаю, это произошло,

00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:43,008

когда мы вместе посмотрели "Миссия невыполнима: Протокол Фантом".

00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,338

Помнишь? Том Круз, ТК...

00:15:44,338 --> 00:15:45,968

Да, Терри, думаю, ты прав.

00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:48,008

Нам понравился этот фильм. Нам всем.

00:15:48,008 --> 00:15:49,848

Эй, помнишь, как мы сделали настоящего Фанбакета,

00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,638

который сошел с ума и напал на город?

00:15:51,638 --> 00:15:53,138

Да, точно. Это было потрясающе.

00:15:53,138 --> 00:15:54,768

А помнишь, когда мы сделали "мужиц каяберлогу"?

00:15:54,768 --> 00:15:56,848

Тебе пришлось закопать роботов на заднем дворе.

00:15:56,848 --> 00:15:58,188

А помнишь тот день,

00:15:58,188 --> 00:15:59,308

когда все стало мюзиклом?

00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:01,318

Или как мы объединились с Симпсонами,

00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:03,358

чтобы сыграть с монстрами из Space Jam?

00:16:03,358 --> 00:16:05,608

Знаешь, Терри, хоть мы и не выбирали друг друга,

00:16:05,608 --> 00:16:07,278

но мы построили хорошую жизнь.

00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:09,408

И я не хочу ее разрушать.

- Я тоже, Корво.

00:16:09,908 --> 00:16:11,278

Срань Господня!

- Эй!

00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:13,408

Уже получил фото моего холмика?

00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:14,538

Крутой, да?

00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:15,708

В смысле не понравился?

00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,038

Тебе не нужно фото моего гладкого холмика?

00:16:18,038 --> 00:16:19,208

Ты не заметил корочку?

00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:22,338

Это Ванбо! Что же нам делать?

00:16:22,338 --> 00:16:24,418

Это шанс все исправить. Побьем его временной палкой!

00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,918

- Чем?

- Ткни-Свое-Барахло-айзером.

00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,298

А, точняк.

00:16:31,808 --> 00:16:32,678

Хватит!

00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,178

Стоп, это то место, куда ты хотел меня отвести?

00:17:11,178 --> 00:17:13,598

Я думала, ты считаешь, что замороженый йогурт для нариков.

00:17:13,598 --> 00:17:16,638

Это да, но я веду себя мило с тобой. Значит, мы будем есть

00:17:16,638 --> 00:17:19,268

эти отвратительные холодные сопли, даже если они на вкус как грязь.

00:17:19,808 --> 00:17:21,728

С тобой все в порядке, Юмьюлак?

00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,228

Конечно. Становись в очередь передо мной.

00:17:23,228 --> 00:17:26,108

Я буду рад подержать твою сумочку, пока ты выбираешь вкус.

00:17:26,108 --> 00:17:28,448

- Ты предлагаешь подержать мою сумку?

- Именно так.

00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,318

- Пока я закажу первая?

- Ага.

00:17:30,318 --> 00:17:32,988

Ну, ладненько. Звучит отлично.

00:17:32,988 --> 00:17:36,038

Только подожди секунду. Где-то здесь...

00:17:37,078 --> 00:17:39,328

Боже мой. Ты что творишь?

00:17:39,328 --> 00:17:40,868

Не волнуйтесь, это не мой брат.

00:17:40,868 --> 00:17:43,748

Это симуляция Палубы-воображатора, которая перенесла его сознание

00:17:43,748 --> 00:17:47,378

в напечатанное 3D-тело и пытается занять его место.

00:17:47,378 --> 00:17:50,548

За что, Джесси? Я же был... милым.

00:17:50,548 --> 00:17:52,218

Я звоню копам. Не шевелись.

00:17:53,638 --> 00:17:55,808

Ты превратила его в картридж для приставки.

00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,308

- Просто забудьте все, что видели, сэр.

- Не могу!

00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:00,098

Слишком необычно!

00:18:00,098 --> 00:18:04,108

Пожалуйста, очнись. Я сожалею, что создала Весельюлака.

00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:08,148

Иногда ты ведешь себя как придурок, но ты мой брат, и я люблю тебя.

00:18:08,148 --> 00:18:09,528

Приветик, Джесси.

00:18:09,528 --> 00:18:12,448

Продолжим наш спор о том, кто горячее: Пит или Гейл?

00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:14,988

Или можем порубиться в настолку, а потом потанцевать.

00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:18,328

Ты не Юмьюлак. Ты Весельюлак!

00:18:18,328 --> 00:18:20,618

Спасибо за твои сладкие поцелуйчики.

00:18:20,618 --> 00:18:24,498

Стоп, программа. О, Боже, я убила Юмьюлака.

00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:27,998

Я убила Юмьюлака и превратила его тело в картридж для приставки!

00:18:27,998 --> 00:18:31,678

Все, как в печеньке с предсказаниями!

00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:43,898

И кто теперь голубой Шрек, сучка?

00:18:43,898 --> 00:18:45,058

Надо избавиться от его тела.

00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:46,858

У тебя с собой штука, превращающая в картридж?

00:18:46,858 --> 00:18:49,478

Нет. Вечно ее нет, когда она так нужна.

00:18:54,158 --> 00:18:55,868

Помни, Терри, мы герои.

00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:01,288

- Мы сделали это. Ванбо исчез.

- Мы починили временной поток.

00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,038

Очень хорошо.

00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:09,088

Кажется, мы

00:19:09,088 --> 00:19:10,668

слегка видоизменили временной поток.

00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:12,548

Что ж, не все так плохо.

00:19:12,548 --> 00:19:14,588

Тут можно жить, пока рядом нет Ванбо.

00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:19,598

Здоро́во, ушлепки.

00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,348

Ванбо? Ты что тут делаешь?

00:19:21,348 --> 00:19:23,058

Твоя задница должна быть мертвее мертвого!

00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:25,688

Должна была быть мертвее мертвого. Но меня спасла

00:19:25,688 --> 00:19:29,518

и помогла восстановиться одна очень особая личность.

00:19:30,108 --> 00:19:31,358

Приветик, Терри.

00:19:31,358 --> 00:19:33,698

Тери с одной "р"? Какого черта ты тут делаешь?

00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:35,698

Теперь я научный партнер Ванбо.

00:19:35,698 --> 00:19:38,658

И теперь я больше не Тери с одной "р".

00:19:38,658 --> 00:19:41,748

Я Варбо, тоже с одной "р".

00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:42,788

Черт, как же это круто.

00:19:42,788 --> 00:19:44,828

Мы искали вас двоих по всей галактике.

00:19:44,828 --> 00:19:48,378

Я знаю, что это вы побили меня своей временной палкой тогда на Шлорпе.

00:19:48,378 --> 00:19:50,418

Мы... мы не понимаем, о чем речь.

00:19:50,418 --> 00:19:52,548

У меня для вас важные новости.

00:19:52,548 --> 00:19:54,628

Шлорп не была уничтожена!

00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,928

Что?

00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,388

И я прилетел, чтобы забрать вас назад и передать суду

00:19:58,388 --> 00:20:01,768

для наказания за использование Ткни-Свое-Барахло-айзера

00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,268

без лицензии!

00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,098

- Что?

- Терри, Корво.

00:20:05,098 --> 00:20:07,848

Я убила Юмьюлака и превратила его в картридж для приставки.

00:20:07,848 --> 00:20:10,108

Его больше нет.

- Что?

00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,148

А, и еще кое-что. После того, как мы все свалим,

00:20:12,148 --> 00:20:15,528

Я взорву эту идиотскую планету Землю,

00:20:15,528 --> 00:20:18,448

потому что это так по-Ванбовски.

00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:21,078

Этого не может быть.

00:20:21,078 --> 00:20:23,538

Почему это происходит?

00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:25,538

Погодите-ка, она права!

00:20:25,538 --> 00:20:27,668

Этого происходить не может.

- Но ведь происходит.

00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:30,378

Вам не кажется, что слишком много мозговыносящих событий разом?

00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:32,298

В плане, что жизнь не так устроена.

00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:33,958

Нет ощущения реальности.

00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:35,968

Парниша потерял связь с миром. Все сюда,

00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,838

сейчас он обделается.

- Неужели, вы не понимаете?

00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:40,428

Путешествия во времени, убитый Юмьюлак, Шлорп не взорвалась.

00:20:40,428 --> 00:20:42,178

Да ладно вам. Это уже перебор.

00:20:42,178 --> 00:20:43,428

Посчитай, слишком много всего.

00:20:43,428 --> 00:20:45,388

Тут и пальцев на руке не хватит!

00:20:45,388 --> 00:20:47,098

- И правда подозрительно.

- Вот видишь?

00:20:47,098 --> 00:20:50,608

Откуда нам знать, что мы не в Матрице?

00:20:50,608 --> 00:20:52,358

Или в Матрице Перезагрузке?

00:20:52,358 --> 00:20:53,858

Вокруг бы кружились зеленые числа

00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:55,738

и все ходили бы в очках.

- Но должно же быть что-то.

00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,028

И я выясню, в чем дело.

00:20:57,028 --> 00:20:59,778

Или, может, мы в своего рода Экзистенции.

00:20:59,778 --> 00:21:02,158

Прекрати! На прошлой неделе ты тоже так думал,

00:21:02,158 --> 00:21:04,448

потому что нам положили дополнительную порцию картошки.

00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:06,828

Мы не можем прикрываться Экзистенцией по каждому поводу.

00:21:06,828 --> 00:21:08,578

Да что ты говоришь, умник. Разве у нас всегда были

00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:11,078

ботинки для путешествия во времени, чтобы отправиться куда угодно?

00:21:11,078 --> 00:21:12,668

Ты же всегда хотел знать все о Пупе.

00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:14,458

Почему же ты раньше не пользовался ботинками?

00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:16,208

Почему не пользовался ботинками раньше?

00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,218

Я уверен, этому есть логическое объяснение.

00:21:18,218 --> 00:21:20,048

Нет никакого объяснения? Заткнись уже.

00:21:20,048 --> 00:21:23,348

Это какая-то странная хрень типа Странных Дней Других Испостасей Газонокосильщика

00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,428

Хортона, слышащего ктошек.

00:21:24,428 --> 00:21:26,058

- Может, мы в "Троне"?

- Не помогай ему.

00:21:26,058 --> 00:21:28,138

- Не похоже на "Трон".

- Или, может, это сон?

00:21:28,138 --> 00:21:29,688

Вот это уже другой разговор.

00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,898

Наверное, мы застряли в каком-то сне, как

00:21:32,898 --> 00:21:35,108

в "Начале", "Куда приводят мечты", "Иосиф и его удивительный

00:21:35,108 --> 00:21:36,568

разноцветный плащ снов".

00:21:36,568 --> 00:21:38,818

Чушь какая-то. Никому не запереть Корво во сне.

00:21:38,818 --> 00:21:40,858

В чьем тогда мы сне? Проснись, проснись.

00:21:40,858 --> 00:21:42,318

Хватит, прекращайте!

00:21:42,318 --> 00:21:43,828

- Ты должен проснуться.

- Не трожь, Ванбо.

00:21:43,828 --> 00:21:44,738

Хватит.

- Проснись.

00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:46,328

Давай же, Корво, проснись. Ты можешь.

00:21:46,328 --> 00:21:47,868

Хватит спать, Корво. Просыпайся!

00:21:47,868 --> 00:21:49,538

- Просыпайся, блин.

- Я пытаюсь.

00:21:49,538 --> 00:21:51,418

Я пытаюсь.

- Проснись!

00:21:51,418 --> 00:21:53,788

Ой, ребятки, и давно вы на Палубе-воображаторе?

00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:56,918

Ха, так и знал. Ничего из этого не было.

00:21:57,958 --> 00:22:00,838

Что за? Как Пупа постоянно достает свисток из "Гарри Поттера"?

00:22:00,838 --> 00:22:02,888

Я думал, мы хорошо его спрятали.

- Как он его нашел?

00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:04,808

- Не смотрите так на меня.

- Очевидно, что это ты дал.

00:22:04,808 --> 00:22:06,308

- Это не я.

- Черт возьми, Терри.

00:22:06,308 --> 00:22:08,638

Хватит поднимать ложную тревогу из-за Пупы.

00:22:08,638 --> 00:22:10,728

Из-за тебя у меня мисизм. Мисистики выходят.

00:22:10,728 --> 00:22:12,598

Успокойся, все в порядке.

00:22:15,978 --> 00:22:18,938

- Странно, такого с ним еще не было.

- Пупа, не делай так.

00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,988

Думаешь, стоит рассказать Терри и Корво?

00:22:20,988 --> 00:22:22,448

Нет, они и так на взводе.

00:22:22,448 --> 00:22:24,948

А вдруг он эволюционирует и убьет всех нас?

00:22:24,948 --> 00:22:26,948

Ага, ну да. Из разряда фантастики.

00:22:29,828 --> 00:22:31,498

Увидимся в следующем сезоне.

00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,260

You are now Abraham Lincoln,

car fighter.

00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,970

Fuck yes.

Okay, let's go.

00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,471

- Terry!

- Can't talk, working out.

00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,181

This is important.

The-the-the Pupa turned orange.

00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,517

And?

Hey, you broke my Hulu Vizu!

00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,854

The Pupa is not supposed to be orange.

It's Pantone 101-C.

00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,772

- What does it mean?

- How the hell am I supposed to know?

00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:26,276

Because it's your job, Terry.

I fix the ship, you take care of the Pupa.

00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,154

Right, yes, that is my job.

Fair.

00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,739

Once this thing evolves into

its ultimate form,

00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,407

it'll consume everything on this planet

00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,284

and terraform it

to become our new home world.

00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,952

- Duh.

- Which means we'll get eaten

00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,829

and terraformed with everything else,

I think.

00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,415

What if it turning orange is

the first step to total annihilation?

00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,751

Wait, I-I-I think it feels hot.

Is that important?

00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,836

No, it's always hot.

Luckily, I'm a genius

00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,796

and suspected you were incapable

of handling this

00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,340

so I made a little card

with important Pupa information on it.

00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,593

I have it in my wallet.

Just gotta find it.

00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,552

Damn it, where did I put my--

00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,096

when was the last time I needed

Shlorpian money to pay for something?

00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,848

Wa-wa-wa-was it at that Armenian deli?

00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,475

Whoa, it was on Shlorp!

00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,351

But the home world blew up

in the opening credits.

00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,563

Which leaves us no choice.

I must use the Retrace-Your-Stepalizer

00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,733

device to travel back in time,

return to the home world,

00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:07,942

and find my wallet.

00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,236

Eh, I'm gonna pass.

That sounds like a lot of work

00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,864

and the Pupa's never killed everybody

on Earth before, so...

00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,991

- Oh, it's gonna blow!

- Ah!

00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:21,164

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia

until the asteroid hit.

00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,458

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,668

and escaped into, uh, the space,

00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,755

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,591

We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already over-populated planet.

00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,301

That's right, I've been talking

this whole time.

00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,095

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,930

This is, this is my show.

I just dropped the Pupa.

00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,890

Do you see me?

This is ridiculous.

00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,892

I hate Earth.

It's a horrible home.

00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,686

People are stupid.

Where the fuck are all the dinosaurs?

00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438

What did they do to all the dinosaurs?

00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,991

So, uh, where's

the retruce-von-something geyser?

00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,077

Does it look like a spaceship

with a big clock on the back?

00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,037

The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer.

It's high-tech shoes

00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,872

that allow the wearer to travel

back in time

00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,415

to places they've stood in the past.

00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,501

These things cost $11 billion a shoe.

00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:07,961

- Do they light up?

- Mine do.

00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:11,089

- Oh, why do you get the cool ones?

- Because I'm in charge.

00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,134

The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer

has a specific set of instructions.

00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,302

Failure to comply could result

in catastrophic outcomes

00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,596

for the space-time continuum.

Do you understand, Terry?

00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,723

- Shoes with rules. Got it.

- Rule number one.

00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,684

While using the Retrace-Your-Stepalizers,

00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,019

no one in the past

will be able to see or hear us.

00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,773

Two, we can only stay in the past

for eight hours or we'll turn into slime.

00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,733

Three, we can't learn anything new...

00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,237

Note to self, the pretzel bite

is the most underrated appetizer.

00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,115

Someone should say something

to whoever is making those menus.

00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,367

Those pesky menus.

Some of them are too long.

00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,786

Too many items.

That's why I don't eat Chinese.

00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,037

-No other reason--

- Are you listening to me?

00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,289

Yeah, yeah, slime, keep going.

00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,377

Jesse, ugh, you left the

Pretend-O-Deck open again.

00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,506

Welcome back to the

Pretend-O-Deck, Yumyulack.

00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,842

Hey, Aisha, play the last program

that Jesse was running.

00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:58,136

Well, that's an invasion

of her privacy, don't you think?

00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,763

Yeah, that's why it's gonna be awesome.

Override protocol.

00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,266

Panera Bread with

3's for the E's.

00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,644

Override accepted.

Resuming last program, you little creep.

00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:09,189

Hello, Jesse, I'm Funyulack.

00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,816

Want to continue our awesome

makeover montage?

00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,610

We left off on a cowboy outfit.

00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,237

What the hell is this?

What are you supposed to be?

00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,239

I'm Funyulack.

I'm exactly like you,

00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,284

but funner and nicer and I know

how to braid and bake bread.

00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,912

Jesse's got a nicer me in here?

That's impossible.

00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,497

Every time I walk into a room,

someone says, "Oh, great."

00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,875

Well, Jesse thinks you're a dick.

She said one time--

00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,920

He tried to trade me to a witch for a PS4.

00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,463

Yeah, but she wouldn't take the deal.

00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,507

You can't complain about almost

being traded to a witch.

00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,760

He makes fun

of the way I walk and breathe.

00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,511

Come on.

00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,640

Have you ever watched her walk?

It's all clop, clop, clop, gasp, gasp.

00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,558

I like the way she walks.

Shoot me.

00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,061

- I think it's elegant.

- Then why don't you two get married?

00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,146

- I wish.

- Gross!

00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,607

This is messed up.

I'm super nice.

00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,694

I guess I'll have to force Jesse

to like me with Craig T. and Nelson.

00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,489

Rule 58, don't fall in love with

anyone in the past

00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,491

or we'll turn into slime.

Are you sleeping?

00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,076

Uh, don't touch anything

or we turn into slime.

00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,578

I wish I could touch stuff in the past,

but it-it doesn't work like that.

00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,372

- It's more like we're ghosts.

- Uh, well then,

00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,748

how are we getting your wallet?

00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,251

We'll have to use

the Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.

00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,755

Wow, that came from the homeworld?

00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,925

Uh, kind of just looks like

a stick with a spork.

00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,885

You know, you're supposed to get

a license to use one of these,

00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,929

but that office blew up,

so we should be fine.

00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,265

And now, it's time to retrace our steps.

00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,620

Beautiful Shlorp.

00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,581

Oh, how I've missed this wonderful

strict totalitarian place.

00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,458

A lot smaller than I remember.

00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,961

Ah, I never thought I'd see

my old quarters again.

00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,879

Oh, God, I made love to

a lot of equations in here.

00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,506

Oh, you fucked math?

Rad.

00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,882

It's young you.

00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,218

Damn, girl, you used to be way skinnier.

00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:07,223

Oh, seriously, stand next to yourself. See

the difference. You have let yourself go!

00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,808

Look, you left the wallet on the table.

00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,810

Oh, that's perfect, Terry.

I will now use the stick

00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,187

to hit the wallet into our ship

at the space port.

00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,441

It should then be in the ship

when we return to the present.

00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,152

Are you missing on purpose

just to make me giggle?

00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,361

- Stop watching me.

- It's working.

00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,529

Don't watch me do this.

00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,617

Oh, hello, little one.

00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,329

Would you like a stale cookie

from a rusty tin?

00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,207

Where am I?

Are we dead?

00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,584

Good afternoon, Lorraine.

- Ah!

00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,879

I know that you've lost

many things over the years.

00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,715

Your children moved away.

Your husband is gone.

00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,592

Even your friends have died.

00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,262

All you have left are your memories.

00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,889

This is your chance, Lorraine.

00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,559

I can access your mind and show you

anything you've ever seen.

00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,395

Is there something you've lost

that you can't remember

00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,147

which I can give you?

00:05:56,272 --> 00:06:02,487

I can't remember the face of my mother.

I just wish I could see her one last time.

00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,162

Everyone is so relaxed

even though they're about to explode.

00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:14,415

Truly the mark of an advanced society.

Except for the panic zones.

00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,958

I have resigned myself to death,

00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,252

although I will miss my friends

and family when I'm gone.

00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,796

Oof, that guy's embarrassing himself.

00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,798

Hey, we're almost at the space port.

00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,425

We just need to smack this bad boy

into the hatch and we'll be done.

00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,843

You got this, boy!

00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,637

Damn it!

00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,681

Hey, mission accomplished.

Now let's get back.

00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,975

I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,440

Finally, some answers about the Pupa.

All right.

00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,443

If your Pupa turns orange,

it means it ate something orange.

00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,029

Well, I did feed it a bag

of Doritos Cheetos party blast.

00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,990

You know, the same stuff that turned

me orange when I ate it last year.

00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,410

This is a relief. We aren't going

to get consumed by the Pupa,

00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,787

at least not today, and we changed

the past without creating

00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,998

a single unintended butterfly effect.

So we really slam dunked it.

00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,626

- Look at us, we're ballers.

- We are ballers, ho ho.

00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,338

Hey, futtbuckers!

Ha ha! We're outta Stella.

00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,468

Is somebody gonna go, uh, replenish?

00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,928

Wait, what?

Who the fuck are you?

00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555

Holy shit,

there's an alien in our house!

00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,473

Quit jerking around.

You two have chores to do.

00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,059

Help me organize all my vests

and fingerless gloves.

00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,854

I thought you said

everyone got exploded.

00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,856

Who are you and what are you

doing in our house?

00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,649

What are you talking about?

I'm Vanbo.

00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,609

We escaped Shlorp together, remember?

00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,404

Vanbo?

Am I saying that right? Vanbo?

00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,030

- Eeesh.

- Whoa, Korvo!

00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,199

You really put on the pounds, pal.

00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,742

You're lookin' like a blue Shrek.

00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,412

Where's your donkey at,

blue Shrek?

00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,666

Oh, and Terry, I broke your PS4 because

I tried to cook a little pizza in it.

00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,502

Hey, I just got that from a witch.

You son of a--aah!

00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,005

Okay, what the shit is going on?

00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,090

We must have inadvertently

changed something in the past,

00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,551

resulting in us now being in a dark,

deviant time stream.

00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,220

One of the results being that Vanbo

apparently joined us on our mission

00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,222

and has been living with us

this whole time.

00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,516

Hey, man, I-I-I can't live

with a dude this basic.

00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,811

I bet he has a true crime podcast.

Like he does one.

00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,063

Listening, cool.

Doing one, yee-hee.

00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,232

We have to go back to the past

and undo the wallet change,

00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,359

which should return us to

the correct time stream.

00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,360

And that'll get rid of Vanbo?

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,738

In the previous time stream,

Vanbo surely died on Shlorp.

00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,283

So yes, but this isn't about Vanbo.

This is about fixing the time stream.

00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,994

Yeah, yeah, the time stream is the

priority, but you're sure Vanbo will die?

00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,246

Yes, his body will be vaporized

by the asteroid.

00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,998

- We're-we're heroes.

- Terry, get in the kitchen

00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,500

and make me a lean pork sandwich!

00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,460

Quick, come on, go, let's go.

00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,424

There's our stick.

00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,468

Now all we have to do

is hit the wallet back out.

00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,596

That should undo

the changes to the time stream.

00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,431

- We're heroes.

- Total heroes.

00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,812

So, Jesse, tell me about

your day, or something?

00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,356

- Really?

- Mm, yes.

00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,399

- Well, I found out Lawrence started--

- Who cares?

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,444

Jeez Louise, are you on

your zeriod or something?

00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,112

Yeah, but it has nothing to do with it.

00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,614

I just want you to like me

without earning it.

00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,074

I want unconditional like.

00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,577

Wait, you care if I like you?

That is so sweet.

00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,163

No, I just, I just, I don't want

to worry about you

00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,333

zapping me in the back with a crazy

sci-fi gun when I piss you off.

00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,919

- What are you even talking about?

- Ah, I don't know! Fuck you!

00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,338

Uh, phone call for drama queen!

00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,551

Vanbo?

Is there anyone named Vanbo here?

00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,511

- Looking for a Vanbo.

- What? No.

00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,929

- Yes, yes, yes, all right.

- Yeah! Yeah-yee!

00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,597

He's out running an errand.

00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,475

Hey-o, Vanbo's back!

00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,186

Great news.

I traded the gold-making machine

00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,063

for these expensive rats.

00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,233

See?

They love you already.

00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,901

Check it out.

Give 'em a little kiss.

00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,572

Fuck you.

00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,991

We can't go back to the present

until we figure out

00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,201

how the hell Vanbo keeps surviving

planetary destruction.

00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,078

I, I don't even remember

living with the guy.

00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,247

Man, who thought time travel

would be so convoluted?

00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,374

Time travel should be clear and linear.

This isn't my fault.

00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:44,750

Well, it's not my fault.

00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,838

Oh, look, hey, it's the past us meeting

for the first time. Aw, look at that.

00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,673

I am pleased to embark

on this mission with you.

00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,092

I assume you love science

and worship at the altar of logic.

00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,885

Hell yeah.

Science rules.

00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:59,015

I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert.

I know everything about the Pupa.

00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,225

Terry, you follow past me,

and I will follow past you.

00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,560

No, I wanna follow past me.

00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,353

Terry, since neither of us remember

meeting Vanbo,

00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,689

we must both be outside observers

for the other.

00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,775

- I will see you at the space port.

- All right, sounds good.

00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,906

I'm young again.

00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,410

Honey, can you help me unload

these groceries from the Piggly Wiggly?

00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,537

Mama, you're so beautiful.

00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,998

Aw, that's a nice thing to say.

00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,042

I've missed you so much.

00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,337

Come, run with me.

00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,694

Oh, my sweet mother.

Now that I remember her face,

00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,572

I'll be able to find her

when I'm in heaven.

00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,451

I can die now knowing

that everything will be okay.

00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:05,790

Oh, thank you. There has to be some way

I can repay you for this.

00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,626

In my kitchen, there's a cabinet

with a child-proof lock.

00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,712

Inside are two AA batteries

and a Harry Potter whistle.

00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,172

Get them for me.

00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,926

- You want batteries?

- And a Harry Potter whistle.

00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,264

Oh, man, you were right. I'm not nice.

This sucks. I thought I was great.

00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:27,311

Yumyulack, my friend, recognizing you suck

is the first step towards de-suckifying.

00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,523

Okay, fuckface, tell me how to be nice

to Jesse and do it yesterday.

00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,150

Well, we usually just hang out

at her favorite place.

00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,695

Oh, my God, this is so dumb.

00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,197

Welcome to the

Pasteur Pasteurized Yogurt Parlor,

00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,366

the world's first Louis Pasteur-themed

yogurt shop.

00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,744

Sup, Todd? You flash heating that milk

so it's safe to drink, yo?

00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,706

That's what pasteurization is, my man.

00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,667

This is so rich.

Jesse is such a loser.

00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,960

- Shut your fucking mouth!

- A-ha!

00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,962

That's something I would say.

You are like me.

00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,715

I am not.

Now, I'm gonna show you how to be nice.

00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,926

Aisha, give us a little Jesse

hologram up in this business.

00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,302

Okay.

00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,055

Hey, Jesse.

You smell great today.

00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141

Why don't we all sample

some flavors together?

00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,477

Thanks, best friend. I wanna try

Measles Inoculation Pineapple.

00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,854

Die!

Me first!

00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,399

Freeze program.

Yum, baby, you are so not money right now.

00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,943

Do you really think it was nice

telling her to die?

00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,111

- Yes.

- No, it was mean.

00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,947

- Hey, you tricked me!

- Okay, let's go back to the basics.

00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,490

Just try smiling at her.

00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,662

Oh, this is gonna be a long night.

We better put on a pot of hologram coffee.

00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,205

Mm-hmm.

00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:33,544

Oh, soil, the womb in which we grow.

Your secrets never cease to delight me.

00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,962

Oof, what a dork.

00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,214

Work relaxation period commencing.

00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,925

Work colleagues, I just met

my assigned Pupa specialist,

00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,886

- and he is--

- Handsome, he's gonna say handsome.

00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,721

An idiot.

Just look at that stupid face.

00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,556

He probably doesn't even know

his florvox array

00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,767

from his gortrino phase oscillatorr.

00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,102

Un-believ-able.

00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,441

Place your Pupa in a one-centimeter-deep

pool of pigment

00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,610

and let it ink itself for three hours.

00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,445

What up, Teri?

I missed you, babe.

00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,280

Missed you, little boo-boo.

You're my boo-boo girl.

00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,824

Good grief, that smokeshow

is Terry's life mate?

00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,827

And its name is also Teri?

How has he never mentioned this?

00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,790

Oh, man, I just met my evacuation partner.

Total derf.

00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,501

Sucks that I can't take you

instead of his boring, flat ass.

00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,171

Number 31827, be quiet!

Also, button your top button.

00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,798

But I look way cooler this way.

00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549

Conformity is cool!

00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:25,054

Conformity is cool,

conformity is cool, conformity is cool.

00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,015

Yes, Jesse,

your choice of vanilla is fine

00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,309

and not for babies.

00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,604

No, you can't--wait, you did it.

Aisha, analyze malice.

00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,022

No malice detected.

00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,066

- I did it.

- Congratulations, Yumyulack.

00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,984

For all your hard work,

I'd like to reward you

00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,945

with this sticker

of your favorite Avenger.

00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,696

Ooh, hell yeah!

Hawkeye!

00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,406

He's got a quiver.

His real name is Clint.

00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,285

Whoo, my superpower is aim.

Aim at you, aim at you.

00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,913

- You're gonna sleep like a log tonight.

- Aim at you, aim at you...

00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,165

Oh, ew.

00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,626

When's the last time

you cleaned out the Wall?

00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:59,213

It's been getting super gross in there

ever since they invented religion.

00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:03,884

Jesse, hello. I wanted to greet you

and tell you that your bow looks nice.

00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,261

It--wait, is this a trap?

00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,762

Because you have to tell me

if it's a trap.

00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,597

- I came in here to compliment you.

- You did?

00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,641

Yes, and I did it.

Gotta go before I mess it up.

00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,601

You look great, bye!

00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,815

- You son of a bitch.

- Oh, yeah, well guess what?

00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,191

- You suck.

- You wanted to bring

00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,776

your stupid life mate to Earth, huh?

00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,862

You-you think Teri with an "I"

is better than me?

00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,196

You think I have a stupid face

00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,906

and that I don't know

what I'm doing with the Pupa.

00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,867

- You don't!

00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,664

Well, I did it.

I was nice to Jesse.

00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,541

I'm the nicest motherfucker

you've ever met.

00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,543

- This is wonderful.

- Thank you so, so much

00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,879

for spending all that time

making me a better alien.

00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,839

And now that I'm nice,

I can delete your ass.

00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,883

- Hey, deleting someone isn't nice.

- Yeah, I know.

00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,969

But I never want Jesse to find out that

I needed training wheels for this stuff.

00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,178

So you gotta get trashed.

00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,930

Well, it was a pleasure teaching you.

00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,391

You know, I actually learned something

from you, too.

00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,351

- Oh, yeah, what was that?

- How to be a dick!

00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,394

Eat my finger!

00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,527

Oh, my God! What the heck?

00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,196

Jesse's finally getting the brother

she deserves.

00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,741

All right, all right, all right,

all right, all right, all right.

00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,284

Enough, we're done.

The partnership is over.

00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,869

- Agreed.

- When we get back to our time,

00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,537

I'm packing up and moving to San Diego.

00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,165

I'll rent a condo in the Gaslamp

and eat fish tacos every day

00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,791

- and never think of you.

- The sooner the better.

00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,377

You and I have never done

anything good together.

00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,005

Oh, wow, look how cute the replicants are.

00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,673

Oh, they really are. We're all cute.

00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,134

Would you look at us?

Two regular aliens with their replicants

00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,178

thinking that they're gonna

go out into space

00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,763

and terraform a rogue moon or something.

00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,765

We had no idea what we were in for.

00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,018

You know, Terry, we spent so much time

on Earth pretending to be a family,

00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,479

I didn't even notice when

we actually became one.

00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,356

Yeah, I think we sealed the deal on that

00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,942

when we all saw

Ghost Protocol.

00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,234

You remember?

Tom Cruise? TC?

00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,861

Terry, I think you're right.

00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,905

We all really liked that movie.

Together.

00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,823

Hey, remember when

we made a real Funbucket

00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,575

and it went crazy and attacked the town?

00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,118

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was awesome.

00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,745

Hey, how about when we built

the "manc ave"?

00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,747

You had to bury the cuck robot

in the backyard.

00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,165

He loved it.

Or remember that day

00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,541

when everything was a musical?

00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,502

Yeah, or what about when we

teamed up with the Simpsons

00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,337

for a game against the Monstars

from Space Jam?

00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,673

You know, we may not have

chosen each other, Terry,

00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,174

but we've built a good life.

00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,802

- I don't want to throw that away.

- Neither do I, Korvo.

00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,178

- Holy shit!

- Hey.

00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,305

Did you peep that photo

of my mound I sent you?

00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,431

Pretty tight, right?

00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,808

What do you mean you hated it?

00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,935

You don't want a photo

of my tiny, hairless mound?

00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,186

Didn't you see the crust?

00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,398

There's Vanbo!

What-what-what do we do?

00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,358

This is our chance to set things right.

Hit him with the time stick!

00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,110

- The what now?

- The Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.

00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,277

Oh, duh, yeah, right.

00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,654

Huh?

00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,658

Stop it!

00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,071

Wait, this is where you wanna take me?

00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,574

I thought you said frozen yogurt

was ice cream for narcs.

00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,535

Ooh, it is, but now I'm nice to you,

which means eating

00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,788

disgusting cold slime

even if it tastes like dust.

00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,623

Are you feeling okay, Yumyulack?

00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,417

Oh, yeah, please,

go ahead of me in line.

00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,086

I would be happy to hold your purse

while you sample some flavors.

00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,338

- You're offering to hold my purse?

- Correct.

00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,215

- While I go first?

- Of course.

00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,968

Well, okay, that sounds great.

00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,013

Let me just, uh, here,

it's in here...

00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,224

Oh, my God.

What's wrong with you?

00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,018

Don't worry, that's not my brother.

00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,854

It's a Pretend-O-Deck simulation

that's transferred his consciousness

00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:47,357

- to a 3

- D printed body

and is trying to take his place.

00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,360

Jesse, why?

I was... nice.

00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,279

I'm calling the police.

Don't move.

00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,699

You turned him into

a Game Boy cartridge.

00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,079

- Just forget what you saw here, sir.

- I can't! It's so specific!

00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,083

Uh, please wake up.

I'm so sorry I created Funyulack.

00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:08,128

You can be kind of a jerk sometimes

but you're my brother and I love you.

00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,379

- Mwah. Bleh.

- Hi, Jesse.

00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,299

Would you like to continue our discussion

of who is hotter, Peeta or Gale?

00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,968

Or we could play Mall Madness

and practice our dance moves.

00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,305

You're not Yumyulack.

You're Funyulack!

00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,516

Thank you for those sweet, sweet kisses.

00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:24,394

Freeze program, freeze program.

Oh, God, no, I killed Yumyulack.

00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,190

I killed Yumyulack and turned his body

into a Game Boy cartridge!

00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,652

Just like that fortune cookie

said I would!

00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,872

Who's a blue Shrek now, bitch?

00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,249

We gotta get rid of this body, man.

00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,292

Do you have the thing that turns them

into Game Boy cartridges?

00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,545

Ah, no, I never bring it

when I end up needing it.

00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,010

Remember, Terry, we're heroes.

00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,181

- We did it, Vanbo's gone.

- We repaired the time stream.

00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,891

Hey, yeah!

00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,017

This is very good.

00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,981

- Huh.

- It appears we may have

00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,024

slightly altered the time stream.

00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,568

Um, well, it's not so bad.

00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,571

I mean, I can live with this as long

as Vanbo's not around.

00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,575

Hello, futtbuckers.

00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,036

Vanbo? What are you doing here?

Your ass should be dead as hell!

00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,581

Should be dead as hell.

But I was rescued

00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,501

and nursed back to health

by a very special person.

00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,336

Hey, Terry.

00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,672

Teri with an "I"?

What the heck are you doing here?

00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,591

I'm Vanbo's science partner now.

00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,677

And my name's not Teri

with an "I" anymore.

00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,638

Mm-mm, it's Vanbi,

also spelled with an "I."

00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,764

Fuck, that's so cool.

00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,725

We've been searching the galaxy

for you two.

00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:48,145

I know you guys attacked me

with your time stick on Shlorp.

00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,397

We, uh, we-we don't know

what you're talking about.

00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,610

I have some important news to tell you.

Shlorp never blew up!

00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,903

What?

00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,280

And I've come to take both of you back

so you can be tried

00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,658

and executed for using

a Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer

00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,243

without a license!

00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,078

- What?

- Terry, Korvo.

00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,956

I killed Yumyulack and turned his body

into a Game Boy cartridge.

00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,083

- He's gone forever.

What?

00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,002

Oh, and one more thing.

After we all leave,

00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,505

I'm gonna blow up

this stupid fucking Earth planet

00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,342

just because that's how Vanbo do.

00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,969

This can't be happening!

00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,430

Why, why is this happening.

00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,474

Wait! She's right.

00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,768

- This can't be happening.

- But it is.

00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,270

Doesn't it seem like too many

big crazy events all at once?

00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,189

I mean, that-that's

not how life works, man.

00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,941

No, no, no.

This doesn't feel real.

00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,859

Ooh, this guy's lost it.

Everybody gather around.

00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,736

- Let's watch him shit his pants.

- Don't you see?

00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,322

The time travelling, dead Yumyulack,

Shlorp didn't explode.

00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,115

I mean, come on.

That's like--it's so much stuff.

00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,325

Think about it.

That's, like, way too much.

00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,369

If you had a list, it's too much!

00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,079

- It is sort of contrived.

- Right?

00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:50,499

I mean, how are we sure that

we're not in a The Matrix?

00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,959

or a Matrix Reloaded?

00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,711

Because there would be green numbers

floating around and leather sunglasses.

00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,089

Well, it's gotta be something.

Okay, and I can figure this out.

00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,758

I mean, we could be in

an eXistenZ-type sitch.

00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:02,052

Stop it! Last week, you thought we were

in an eXistenZ

00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,346

because the drive-thru gave us

an extra order of fries.

00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,723

We can't be in an eXistenZ

every time you're freaking out.

00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,475

Oh, really, smart guy?

You're telling me

00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,978

we have time travelling shoes

that we can use whenever we want?

00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,562

You're always wanting to know

stuff about the Pupa.

00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,439

Why haven't you been using

those shoes, man?

00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,066

Why haven't you been using the shoes?

00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,151

I-I-I'm sure there's

a logical explanation for that.

00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,028

No, there isn't, okay?

Shut the fuck up.

00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,407

We've gotta be in some fucked up

Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man

00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,408

Horton Hears a Who thing.

00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,159

- Maybe we're in a Tron.

- Don't egg him on.

00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,120

- This isn't a Tron.

- Ooh, maybe we're in a dream.

00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,663

Now you're talking.

00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,874

I mean, I-I-I-I bet we're all in some

kind of crazy Dreamscape- style

00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,043

Inception What Dreams May Come

Joseph and the Amazing

00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,503

Technicolor Dreamcoat dream.

00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:38,714

That's impossible.

Nobody traps Korvo in a dream.

00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,757

Whose dream are we in, huh?

Wake up, wake up.

00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,301

Stop that, cut it out!

00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,719

- You have to wake up.

- Don't touch me, Vanbo.

00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,720

- Stop it.

- Wake up.

00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,305

Wake up, Korvo, come on.

You can do it.

00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,764

Stop sleeping, Korvo.

Wake up!

00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,433

- Damn it, wake up.

- I'm trying.

00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,393

- I'm trying!

- Wake up!

00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:54,187

Oh, uh, how long have you guys

been on the Pretend-O-Deck?

00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,149

Ha, I knew it.

None of that stuff happened.

00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,736

What the? How does the Pupa

keep getting that Harry Potter whistle?

00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,779

- I thought we locked it up.

- How does he keep getting that thing?

00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,906

- Don't everybody look at me.

- You obviously gave it to him.

00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,199

- I did not.

- Damn it, Terry.

00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,702

You've gotta stop raising false alarms

about the Pupa.

00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,746

You're making me gooble.

I'm-I'm gooblering.

00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,497

Uh, okay, all right.

00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,837

- Weird, he's never done that before.

- Pupa, stop that.

00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,881

Do you think we should tell

Terry and Korvo?

00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:22,341

No, they're already all wound up.

00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,926

But what if he evolves

and kills all of us?

00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,471

Yeah, right.

Like that'll ever happen.

00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,975

See you next season, everyone.

00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:52,579

Terry!

00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:16,937

Terry!

00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,195

Terry!

00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:42,254

Hulu. Hulu. Hu-lu.

00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:36,336

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