Вернуться-По-Своим-Следам-Инатор — Пупа внезапно становится оранжевым. Корво обеспокоен этим, так как полагает, что наступает время для Пупы терроформировать Землю. Он, однако, не знает этого наверняка, а памятка про Пупу осталась на Шлорпе. Корво и Терри отправляются в прошлое, чтобы проникнуть на свою планету до падения на неё метеорита и найти памятку про Пупу. Этим они меняют будущее и создают себе на Земле неприятного соседа-инопланетянина. Они снова отправляются в прошлое, чтобы ещё раз всё исправить. В это время Юмьюлак узнаёт, что Джесси считает его злым. Репликант пытается исправиться. Позже выясняется, что все эти события происходили в симуляторе реальности.

Предыдущая серия S01 E07 Терри и Корво украли медведя

Следующая серия S02 E01 Священное неповторяющееся число

Вернуться-По-Своим-Следам-Инатор

Retrace-Your-Step-Alizer

Сезон: 01Серия: 08

Описание

Пупа внезапно становится оранжевым. Корво обеспокоен этим, так как полагает, что наступает время для Пупы терроформировать Землю. Он, однако, не знает этого наверняка, а памятка про Пупу осталась на Шлорпе. Корво и Терри отправляются в прошлое, чтобы проникнуть на свою планету до падения на неё метеорита и найти памятку про Пупу. Этим они меняют будущее и создают себе на Земле неприятного соседа-инопланетянина. Они снова отправляются в прошлое, чтобы ещё раз всё исправить. В это время Юмьюлак узнаёт, что Джесси считает его злым. Репликант пытается исправиться. Позже выясняется, что все эти события происходили в симуляторе реальности.

Субтитры

00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:04,879 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:07,298 MAN [on tablet]: <i>You are no longer Abraham Lincoln, US president.</i>
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,260 <i>You are now Abraham Lincoln, car fighter.</i>
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,970 Fuck yes. Okay, let's go.
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,471 - KORVO: Terry! - Can't talk, working out.
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,181 This is important. The-the-the Pupa turned orange.
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,517 And? Hey, you broke my Hulu Vizu!
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,854 The Pupa is not supposed to be orange. It's Pantone 101-C.
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,772 - What does it mean? - How the hell am I supposed to know?
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:26,276 Because it's your job, Terry. I fix the ship, you take care of the Pupa.
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,154 Right, yes, that is my job. Fair.
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,739 Once this thing evolves into its ultimate form,
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,407 it'll consume everything on this planet
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,284 and terraform it to become our new home world.
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,952 - Duh. - Which means we'll get eaten
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,829 and terraformed with everything else, I think.
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,415 What if it turning orange is the first step to total annihilation?
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,751 Wait, I-I-I think it feels hot. Is that important?
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,836 No, it's always hot. Luckily, I'm a genius
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,796 and suspected you were incapable of handling this
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,340 so I made a little card with important Pupa information on it.
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,593 I have it in my wallet. Just gotta find it.
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,552 Damn it, where did I put my--
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,096 when was the last time I needed Shlorpian money to pay for something?
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,848 Wa-wa-wa-was it at that Armenian deli?
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,475 Whoa, it was on Shlorp!
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,351 But the home world blew up in the opening credits.
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,563 Which leaves us no choice. I must use the Retrace-Your-Stepalizer
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,733 device to travel back in time, return to the home world,
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:07,942 and find my wallet.
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,236 Eh, I'm gonna pass. That sounds like a lot of work
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,864 and the Pupa's never killed everybody on Earth before, so...
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,991 - Oh, it's gonna blow! - Ah!
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:21,164 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,458 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,668 <i>and escaped into, uh, the space,</i>
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,755 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,591 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already over-populated planet.</i>
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,301 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,095 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,930 <i>This is, this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,890 <i>Do you see me?</i> [stammers] <i>This is ridiculous.</i>
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,892 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.</i>
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,686 <i>People are stupid. Where the fuck are all the dinosaurs?</i>
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438 <i>What did they do to all the dinosaurs?</i>
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,398 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,526 ♪
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,991 So, uh, where's the retruce-von-something geyser?
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,077 Does it look like a spaceship with a big clock on the back?
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,037 The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer. It's high-tech shoes
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,872 that allow the wearer to travel back in time
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,415 to places they've stood in the past.
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,501 These things cost $11 billion a shoe.
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:07,961 - Do they light up? - Mine do.
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:11,089 - Oh, why do you get the cool ones? - Because I'm in charge.
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,134 The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer has a specific set of instructions.
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,302 Failure to comply could result in catastrophic outcomes
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,596 for the space-time continuum. Do you understand, Terry?
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,723 - Shoes with rules. Got it. - Rule number one.
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,684 While using the Retrace-Your-Stepalizers,
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,019 no one in the past will be able to see or hear us.
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,773 Two, we can only stay in the past for eight hours or we'll turn into slime.
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,733 Three, we can't learn anything new...
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,237 TERRY: <i>Note to self, the pretzel bite is the most underrated appetizer.</i>
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,115 <i>Someone should say something to whoever is making those menus.</i>
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,367 <i>Those pesky menus. Some of them are too long.</i>
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,786 <i>Too many items. That's why I don't eat Chinese.</i>
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,037 <i>-No other reason--</i> - Are you listening to me?
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,289 Yeah, yeah, slime, keep going.
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,377 Jesse, ugh, you left the Pretend-O-Deck open again.
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,506 AISHA: <i>Welcome back to the Pretend-O-Deck, Yumyulack.</i>
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,842 Hey, Aisha, play the last program that Jesse was running.
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:58,136 AISHA: <i>Well, that's an invasion of her privacy, don't you think?</i>
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,763 Yeah, that's why it's gonna be awesome. Override protocol.
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,266 Password: Panera Bread with 3's for the E's.
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,644 AISHA: <i>Override accepted. Resuming last program, you little creep.</i>
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:09,189 Hello, Jesse, I'm Funyulack.
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,816 Want to continue our awesome makeover montage?
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,610 We left off on a cowboy outfit.
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,237 What the hell is this? What are you supposed to be?
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,239 I'm Funyulack. I'm exactly like you,
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,284 but funner and nicer and I know how to braid and bake bread.
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,912 Jesse's got a nicer me in here? That's impossible.
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,497 Every time I walk into a room, someone says, "Oh, great."
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,875 Well, Jesse thinks you're a dick. She said one time--
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,920 [Jesse's voice] <i>He tried to trade me to a witch for a PS4.</i>
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,463 Yeah, but she wouldn't take the deal.
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,507 You can't complain about almost being traded to a witch.
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,760 [Jesse's voice] <i>He makes fun of the way I walk and breathe.</i>
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,511 [chuckles] Come on.
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,640 Have you ever watched her walk? It's all clop, clop, clop, gasp, gasp.
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,558 [normal voice] I like the way she walks. Shoot me.
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,061 - I think it's elegant. - Then why don't you two get married?
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,146 - I wish. - Gross!
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,607 This is messed up. I'm super nice.
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,694 I guess I'll have to force Jesse to like me with Craig T. and Nelson.
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,489 Rule 58, don't fall in love with anyone in the past
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,491 or we'll turn into slime. Are you sleeping?
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,076 Uh, don't touch anything or we turn into slime.
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,578 I wish I could touch stuff in the past, but it-it doesn't work like that.
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,372 - It's more like we're ghosts. - Uh, well then,
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,748 how are we getting your wallet?
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,251 We'll have to use the Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,044 ♪ dramatic musical flourish ♪
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,755 Wow, that came from the homeworld?
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,925 Uh, kind of just looks like a stick with a spork.
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,885 You know, you're supposed to get a license to use one of these,
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,929 but that office blew up, so we should be fine.
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,265 And now, it's time to retrace our steps.
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,058 [dramatic whooshing]
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,736 ♪
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,620 Beautiful Shlorp.
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,581 Oh, how I've missed this wonderful strict totalitarian place.
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,458 TERRY: A lot smaller than I remember.
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,961 Ah, I never thought I'd see my old quarters again.
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,879 Oh, God, I made love to a lot of equations in here.
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,506 Oh, you fucked math? Rad.
00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,882 [gasps] It's young you.
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,218 Damn, girl, you used to be way skinnier.
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:07,223 Oh, seriously, stand next to yourself. See the difference. You have let yourself go!
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,808 Look, you left the wallet on the table.
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,810 Oh, that's perfect, Terry. I will now use the stick
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,187 to hit the wallet into our ship at the space port.
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,441 It should then be in the ship when we return to the present.
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,152 Are you missing on purpose just to make me giggle?
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,361 - Stop watching me. - It's working.
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,529 Don't watch me do this.
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,365 ♪ bright music playing ♪
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,617 Oh, hello, little one.
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,329 Would you like a stale cookie from a rusty tin?
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,372 [dramatic whooshing]
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,207 Where am I? Are we dead?
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,584 -[deep voice] Good afternoon, Lorraine. - Ah!
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,879 I know that you've lost many things over the years.
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,715 Your children moved away. Your husband is gone.
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,592 Even your friends have died.
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,262 All you have left are your memories.
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,889 This is your chance, Lorraine.
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,559 I can access your mind and show you anything you've ever seen.
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,395 Is there something you've lost that you can't remember
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,147 which I can give you?
00:05:56,272 --> 00:06:02,487 I can't remember the face of my mother. I just wish I could see her one last time.
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,073 [dramatic whooshing]
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,116 ♪ serene music playing ♪
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,326 ♪
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,162 Everyone is so relaxed even though they're about to explode.
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:14,415 Truly the mark of an advanced society. Except for the panic zones.
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,958 I have resigned myself to death,
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,252 although I will miss my friends and family when I'm gone.
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,796 Oof, that guy's embarrassing himself.
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,798 Hey, we're almost at the space port.
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,425 We just need to smack this bad boy into the hatch and we'll be done.
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,843 You got this, boy!
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,637 Damn it!
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,681 Hey, mission accomplished. Now let's get back.
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,975 I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,811 [dramatic whooshing]
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,440 Finally, some answers about the Pupa. All right. [clears throat]
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,443 If your Pupa turns orange, it means it ate something orange.
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,029 Well, I did feed it a bag of Doritos Cheetos party blast.
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,990 You know, the same stuff that turned me orange when I ate it last year.
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,410 This is a relief. We aren't going to get consumed by the Pupa,
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,787 at least not today, and we changed the past without creating
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,998 a single unintended butterfly effect. So we really slam dunked it.
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,626 - Look at us, we're ballers. - We are ballers, ho ho.
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,338 Hey, futtbuckers! Ha ha! We're outta Stella.
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,549 ♪ dramatic musical flourish ♪
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,468 Is somebody gonna go, uh, replenish?
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,928 Wait, what? Who the fuck are you?
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555 Holy shit, there's an alien in our house!
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,473 Quit jerking around. You two have chores to do.
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,059 Help me organize all my vests and fingerless gloves.
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,854 [quietly] I thought you said everyone got exploded.
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,856 Who are you and what are you doing in our house?
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,649 What are you talking about? I'm Vanbo.
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,609 We escaped Shlorp together, remember?
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,404 Vanbo? Am I saying that right? Vanbo?
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,030 - Eeesh. - Whoa, Korvo!
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,199 [chuckles] You really put on the pounds, pal.
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,742 You're lookin' like a blue Shrek.
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,412 [in Shrek voice] Where's your donkey at, blue Shrek?
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,746 [laughs]
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,666 Oh, and Terry, I broke your PS4 because I tried to cook a little pizza in it.
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,502 Hey, I just got that from a witch. You son of a--aah!
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,005 Okay, what the shit is going on?
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,090 We must have inadvertently changed something in the past,
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,551 resulting in us now being in a dark, deviant time stream.
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,220 One of the results being that Vanbo apparently joined us on our mission
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,222 and has been living with us this whole time.
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,516 Hey, man, I-I-I can't live with a dude this basic.
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,811 I bet he has a true crime podcast. Like he does one.
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,063 Listening, cool. Doing one, yee-hee.
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,232 We have to go back to the past and undo the wallet change,
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,359 which should return us to the correct time stream.
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,360 And that'll get rid of Vanbo?
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,738 In the previous time stream, Vanbo surely died on Shlorp.
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,283 So yes, but this isn't about Vanbo. This is about fixing the time stream.
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,994 Yeah, yeah, the time stream is the priority, but you're sure Vanbo will die?
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,246 Yes, his body will be vaporized by the asteroid.
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,998 - We're-we're heroes. - VANBO: Terry, get in the kitchen
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,500 and make me a lean pork sandwich!
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,460 -[banging on door] - Quick, come on, go, let's go.
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,878 [dramatic whooshing]
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,424 KORVO: There's our stick.
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,468 Now all we have to do is hit the wallet back out.
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,511 [wallet clatters]
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,596 That should undo the changes to the time stream.
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,431 - We're heroes. - Total heroes.
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,724 [dramatic whooshing]
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,812 So, Jesse, tell me about your day, or something?
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,356 - Really? - Mm, yes.
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,399 - Well, I found out Lawrence started-- - Who cares?
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,444 Jeez Louise, are you on your zeriod or something?
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,112 Yeah, but it has nothing to do with it.
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,614 I just want you to like me without earning it.
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,074 I want unconditional like.
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,577 Wait, you care if I like you? That is so sweet.
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,163 No, I just, I just, I don't want to worry about you
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,333 zapping me in the back with a crazy sci-fi gun when I piss you off.
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,919 - What are you even talking about? - Ah, I don't know! Fuck you!
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,338 Uh, phone call for drama queen!
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,551 Vanbo? Is there anyone named Vanbo here?
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,511 - Looking for a Vanbo. - What? No.
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,929 - Yes, yes, yes, all right. - Yeah! Yeah-yee!
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,597 He's out running an errand.
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,475 Hey-o, Vanbo's back! [chuckles]
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,186 Great news. I traded the gold-making machine
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,063 for these expensive rats.
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,523 [exclaiming]
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,233 See? They love you already.
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,901 Check it out. Give 'em a little kiss.
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,572 [grunts] Fuck you.
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,991 We can't go back to the present until we figure out
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,201 how the hell Vanbo keeps surviving planetary destruction.
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,078 I, I don't even remember living with the guy.
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,247 Man, who thought time travel would be so convoluted?
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,374 Time travel should be clear and linear. This isn't my fault.
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:44,750 Well, it's not my fault.
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,838 Oh, look, hey, it's the past us meeting for the first time. Aw, look at that.
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,673 I am pleased to embark on this mission with you.
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,092 I assume you love science and worship at the altar of logic.
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,885 Hell yeah. Science rules.
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:59,015 I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert. I know everything about the Pupa.
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,225 Terry, you follow past me, and I will follow past you.
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,560 No, I wanna follow past me.
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,353 Terry, since neither of us remember meeting Vanbo,
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,689 we must both be outside observers for the other.
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,775 - I will see you at the space port. - All right, sounds good.
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,320 [dramatic whooshing]
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,906 [gasps] I'm young again.
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,410 Honey, can you help me unload these groceries from the Piggly Wiggly?
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,537 Mama, you're so beautiful.
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,998 Aw, that's a nice thing to say.
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,042 I've missed you so much.
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,337 Come, run with me.
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,881 [laughter]
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,924 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,010 ♪
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,893 [gulls cawing]
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,937 [giggles]
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,694 Oh, my sweet mother. Now that I remember her face,
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,572 I'll be able to find her when I'm in heaven.
00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,451 I can die now knowing that everything will be okay.
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:05,790 Oh, thank you. There has to be some way I can repay you for this.
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,626 In my kitchen, there's a cabinet with a child-proof lock.
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,712 Inside are two AA batteries and a <i>Harry Potter</i> whistle.
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,172 Get them for me.
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,926 - You want batteries? - And a <i>Harry Potter</i> whistle.
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,264 Oh, man, you were right. I'm not nice. This sucks. I thought I was great.
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:27,311 Yumyulack, my friend, recognizing you suck is the first step towards de-suckifying.
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,523 Okay, fuckface, tell me how to be nice to Jesse and do it yesterday.
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,150 Well, we usually just hang out at her favorite place.
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,695 Oh, my God, this is so dumb.
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,197 Welcome to the Pasteur Pasteurized Yogurt Parlor,
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,366 the world's first Louis Pasteur-themed yogurt shop.
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,744 Sup, Todd? You flash heating that milk so it's safe to drink, yo?
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,706 That's what pasteurization is, my man.
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,667 This is so rich. Jesse is such a loser.
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,960 - Shut your fucking mouth! - A-ha!
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,962 That's something I would say. You are like me.
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,715 I am not. Now, I'm gonna show you how to be nice.
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,926 Aisha, give us a little Jesse hologram up in this business.
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,302 AISHA: <i>Okay.</i>
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,055 Hey, Jesse. You smell great today.
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141 Why don't we all sample some flavors together?
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,477 Thanks, best friend. I wanna try Measles Inoculation Pineapple.
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,854 Die! Me first!
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,399 Freeze program. Yum, baby, you are so not money right now.
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,943 Do you really think it was nice telling her to die?
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,111 - Yes. - No, it was mean.
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,947 - Hey, you tricked me! - Okay, let's go back to the basics.
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,490 Just try smiling at her.
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:22,992 [groans]
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,662 Oh, this is gonna be a long night. We better put on a pot of hologram coffee.
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,205 AISHA: <i>Mm-hmm.</i>
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:33,544 Oh, soil, the womb in which we grow. Your secrets never cease to delight me.
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,962 Oof, what a dork.
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,214 COMPUTER: <i>Work relaxation period commencing.</i>
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,925 Work colleagues, I just met my assigned Pupa specialist,
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,886 - and he is-- - Handsome, he's gonna say handsome.
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,721 An idiot. Just look at that stupid face.
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,556 He probably doesn't even know his florvox array
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,767 from his gortrino phase oscillatorr.
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,102 -[laughter] - Un-believ-able.
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,979 ♪ dramatic musical flourish ♪
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,441 Place your Pupa in a one-centimeter-deep pool of pigment
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,610 and let it ink itself for three hours.
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,445 What up, Teri? I missed you, babe.
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,280 Missed you, little boo-boo. You're my boo-boo girl.
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,824 Good grief, that smokeshow is Terry's life mate?
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,827 And its name is also Teri? How has he never mentioned this?
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,790 Oh, man, I just met my evacuation partner. Total derf.
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,501 Sucks that I can't take you instead of his boring, flat ass.
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,171 Number 31827, be quiet! Also, button your top button.
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,798 But I look way cooler this way.
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549 Conformity is cool!
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:25,054 ALL: Conformity is cool, conformity is cool, conformity is cool.
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,015 Yes, Jesse, your choice of vanilla is fine
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,309 and [whimpers] not for babies.
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,604 No, you can't--wait, you did it. Aisha, analyze malice.
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,022 AISHA: <i>No malice detected.</i>
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,066 - I did it. - Congratulations, Yumyulack.
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,984 For all your hard work, I'd like to reward you
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,945 with this sticker of your favorite Avenger.
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,696 Ooh, hell yeah! Hawkeye!
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,406 He's got a quiver. His real name is Clint.
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,285 Whoo, my superpower is aim. Aim at you, aim at you.
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,913 - You're gonna sleep like a log tonight. - Aim at you, aim at you...
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,165 Oh, ew.
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,626 When's the last time you cleaned out the Wall?
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:59,213 It's been getting super gross in there ever since they invented religion.
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:03,884 Jesse, hello. I wanted to greet you and tell you that your bow looks nice.
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,261 It--wait, is this a trap?
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,762 Because you have to tell me if it's a trap.
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,597 - I came in here to compliment you. - You did?
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,641 Yes, and I did it. Gotta go before I mess it up.
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,601 - You look great, bye! -[door closes]
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,688 ♪
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,815 - You son of a bitch. - Oh, yeah, well guess what?
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,191 - You suck. - You wanted to bring
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,776 your stupid life mate to Earth, huh?
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,862 You-you think Teri with an "I" is better than me?
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,196 You think I have a stupid face
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,906 and that I don't know what I'm doing with the Pupa.
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,867 - You don't! -[both grunting]
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,664 Well, I did it. I was nice to Jesse.
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,541 I'm the nicest motherfucker you've ever met.
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,543 - This is wonderful. - Thank you so, so much
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,879 for spending all that time making me a better alien.
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,839 And now that I'm nice, I can delete your ass.
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,883 - Hey, deleting someone isn't nice. - Yeah, I know.
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,969 But I never want Jesse to find out that I needed training wheels for this stuff.
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,178 So you gotta get trashed.
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,930 Well, it was a pleasure teaching you.
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,391 You know, I actually learned something from you, too.
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,351 - Oh, yeah, what was that? - How to be a dick!
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,394 Eat my finger!
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,937 [both grunting]
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,527 AISHA: <i>Oh, my God! What the heck?</i>
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,196 Jesse's finally getting the brother she deserves.
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,741 All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,284 Enough, we're done. The partnership is over.
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,869 - Agreed. - When we get back to our time,
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,537 I'm packing up and moving to San Diego.
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,165 I'll rent a condo in the Gaslamp and eat fish tacos every day
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,791 - and never think of you. - The sooner the better.
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,377 You and I have never done anything good together.
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,005 KORVO: Oh, wow, look how cute the replicants are.
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,673 TERRY: Oh, they really are. We're all cute.
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,134 Would you look at us? Two regular aliens with their replicants
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,178 thinking that they're gonna go out into space
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,763 and terraform a rogue moon or something.
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,765 We had no idea what we were in for.
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,018 You know, Terry, we spent so much time on Earth pretending to be a family,
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,479 I didn't even notice when we actually became one.
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,356 Yeah, I think we sealed the deal on that
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,942 when we all saw <i>Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.</i>
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,234 You remember? Tom Cruise? TC?
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,861 [chuckles] Terry, I think you're right.
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,905 We all really liked that movie. Together.
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,823 Hey, remember when we made a real Funbucket
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,575 and it went crazy and attacked the town?
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,118 TERRY: <i>Oh, yeah, yeah, that was awesome.</i>
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,745 <i>Hey, how about when we built the "manc ave"?</i>
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,747 <i>You had to bury the cuck robot in the backyard.</i>
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,165 KORVO: <i>He loved it. Or remember that day</i>
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,541 <i>when everything was a musical?</i>
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,502 TERRY: <i>Yeah, or what about when we teamed up with the Simpsons</i>
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,337 <i>for a game against the Monstars from</i> Space Jam<i>?</i>
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,673 You know, we may not have chosen each other, Terry,
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,174 but we've built a good life.
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,802 - I don't want to throw that away. - Neither do I, Korvo.
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,178 - Holy shit! - Hey.
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,305 Did you peep that photo of my mound I sent you?
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,431 Pretty tight, right?
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,808 What do you mean you hated it?
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,935 You don't want a photo of my tiny, hairless mound?
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,186 Didn't you see the crust?
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,398 There's Vanbo! What-what-what do we do?
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,358 This is our chance to set things right. Hit him with the time stick!
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,110 - The what now? - The Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,277 Oh, duh, yeah, right.
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,654 Huh?
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,031 [grunting]
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,658 Stop it!
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,910 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,121 ♪
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,129 [all grunting]
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,975 [electricity zapping]
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,981 ♪ music intensifies ♪
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,071 Wait, this is where you wanna take me?
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,574 I thought you said frozen yogurt was ice cream for narcs.
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,535 Ooh, it is, but now I'm nice to you, which means eating
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,788 disgusting cold slime even if it tastes like dust.
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,623 Are you feeling okay, Yumyulack?
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,417 Oh, yeah, please, go ahead of me in line.
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,086 I would be happy to hold your purse while you sample some flavors.
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,338 - You're offering to hold my purse? - Correct.
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,215 - While I go first? - Of course.
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,968 Well, okay, that sounds great.
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,013 Let me just, uh, here, it's in here...
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,139 [grunts]
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,224 Oh, my God. What's wrong with you?
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,018 Don't worry, that's not my brother.
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,854 It's a Pretend-O-Deck simulation that's transferred his consciousness
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:47,357 - to a 3 - D printed body and is trying to take his place.
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,360 Jesse, why? I was... nice.
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,279 I'm calling the police. Don't move.
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:53,530 [dramatic whooshing]
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,699 You turned him into a Game Boy cartridge.
00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,079 - Just forget what you saw here, sir. - I can't! It's so specific!
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,083 Uh, please wake up. I'm so sorry I created Funyulack.
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:08,128 You can be kind of a jerk sometimes but you're my brother and I love you.
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,379 - Mwah. Bleh. - Hi, Jesse.
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,299 Would you like to continue our discussion of who is hotter, Peeta or Gale?
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,968 Or we could play <i>Mall Madness</i> and practice our dance moves.
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,305 You're not Yumyulack. You're Funyulack!
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,516 Thank you for those sweet, sweet kisses.
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:24,394 Freeze program, freeze program. Oh, God, no, I killed Yumyulack.
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,190 I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge!
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,652 Just like that fortune cookie said I would!
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,322 [all grunting]
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,872 Who's a blue Shrek now, bitch?
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,249 We gotta get rid of this body, man.
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,292 Do you have the thing that turns them into Game Boy cartridges?
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,545 Ah, no, I never bring it when I end up needing it.
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,713 [squishing]
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,010 Remember, Terry, we're heroes.
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,887 [dramatic whooshing]
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,181 - We did it, Vanbo's gone. - We repaired the time stream.
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,891 - Hey, yeah! -[chuckles]
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,017 This is very good.
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,477 [loud rumbling]
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,981 - Huh. - It appears we may have
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,024 slightly altered the time stream.
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,568 Um, well, it's not so bad.
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,571 I mean, I can live with this as long as Vanbo's not around.
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,575 Hello, futtbuckers.
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,036 Vanbo? What are you doing here? Your ass should be dead as hell!
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,581 Should be dead as hell. But I was rescued
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,501 and nursed back to health by a very special person.
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,336 Hey, Terry.
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,672 Teri with an "I"? What the heck are you doing here?
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,591 I'm Vanbo's science partner now.
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,677 And my name's not Teri with an "I" anymore.
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,638 Mm-mm, it's Vanbi, also spelled with an "I."
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,764 Fuck, that's so cool.
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,725 We've been searching the galaxy for you two.
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:48,145 I know you guys attacked me with your time stick on Shlorp.
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,397 We, uh, we-we don't know what you're talking about.
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,610 I have some important news to tell you. Shlorp never blew up!
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,903 BOTH: What?
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,280 And I've come to take both of you back so you can be tried
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,658 and executed for using a Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,243 without a license!
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,078 - BOTH: What? - Terry, Korvo.
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,956 I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge.
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,083 - He's gone forever. - ALL: What?
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,002 Oh, and one more thing. After we all leave,
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,505 I'm gonna blow up this stupid fucking Earth planet
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,342 just because that's how Vanbo do.
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,969 This can't be happening! [cries]
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,430 Why, why is this happening.
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,474 Wait! She's right.
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,768 - This can't be happening. - But it is.
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,270 Doesn't it seem like too many big crazy events all at once?
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,189 I mean, that-that's not how life works, man.
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,941 No, no, no. This doesn't feel real.
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,859 Ooh, this guy's lost it. Everybody gather around.
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,736 - Let's watch him shit his pants. - Don't you see?
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,322 The time travelling, dead Yumyulack, Shlorp didn't explode.
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,115 I mean, come on. That's like--it's so much stuff.
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,325 Think about it. That's, like, way too much.
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,369 If you had a list, it's too much!
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,079 - It is sort of contrived. - Right?
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:50,499 I mean, how are we sure that we're not in a <i>The Matrix</i>?
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,959 or a <i>Matrix Reloaded</i>?
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,711 Because there would be green numbers floating around and leather sunglasses.
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,089 Well, it's gotta be something. Okay, and I can figure this out.
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,758 I mean, we could be in an <i>eXistenZ</i>-type sitch.
00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:02,052 Stop it! Last week, you thought we were in an <i>eXistenZ</i>
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,346 because the drive-thru gave us an extra order of fries.
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,723 We can't be in an <i>eXistenZ</i> every time you're freaking out.
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,475 Oh, really, smart guy? You're telling me
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,978 we have time travelling shoes that we can use whenever we want?
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,562 You're always wanting to know stuff about the Pupa.
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,439 Why haven't you been using those shoes, man?
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,066 Why haven't you been using the shoes?
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,151 I-I-I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that.
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,028 No, there isn't, okay? Shut the fuck up.
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,407 We've gotta be in some fucked up <i>Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man</i>
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,408 <i>Horton Hears a Who</i> thing.
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,159 - Maybe we're in a <i>Tron.</i> - Don't egg him on.
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,120 - This isn't a <i>Tron.</i> - Ooh, maybe we're in a dream.
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,663 Now you're talking.
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,874 I mean, I-I-I-I bet we're all in some kind of crazy <i>Dreamscape-</i> style
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,043 <i>Inception What Dreams May Come Joseph and the Amazing</i>
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,503 <i>Technicolor Dreamcoat</i> dream.
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:38,714 That's impossible. Nobody traps Korvo in a dream.
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,757 Whose dream are we in, huh? Wake up, wake up.
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,301 Stop that, cut it out!
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,719 - You have to wake up. - Don't touch me, Vanbo.
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,720 - Stop it. - Wake up.
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,305 CHERIE: Wake up, Korvo, come on. You can do it.
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,764 Stop sleeping, Korvo. Wake up!
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,433 - Damn it, wake up. - I'm trying.
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,393 - I'm trying! - Wake up!
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:54,187 Oh, uh, how long have you guys been on the Pretend-O-Deck?
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,149 Ha, I knew it. None of that stuff happened.
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,734 ♪ <i>Harry Potter</i> theme song on whistle ♪
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,736 What the? How does the Pupa keep getting that <i>Harry Potter</i> whistle?
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,779 - I thought we locked it up. - How does he keep getting that thing?
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,906 - Don't everybody look at me. - You obviously gave it to him.
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,199 - I did not. - Damn it, Terry.
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,702 You've gotta stop raising false alarms about the Pupa.
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,746 You're making me gooble. I'm-I'm gooblering.
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,497 Uh, okay, all right.
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,583 [Pupa squishing]
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,837 - Weird, he's never done that before. - Pupa, stop that.
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,881 Do you think we should tell Terry and Korvo?
00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:22,341 No, they're already all wound up.
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,926 But what if he evolves and kills all of us?
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,471 Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen.
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:29,723 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,975 See you next season, everyone.
00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,936 ♪ dance music playing ♪
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,230 ♪
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,857 KORVO [echoing]
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:52,579 <i>Terry!</i>
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:16,937 <i>Terry!</i>
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,195 <i>Terry!</i>
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:42,254 Hulu. Hulu. Hu-lu.
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,677 [imitating laser fire]

00:00:04,418 --> 00:00:07,297 Ты больше не президент США, Авраам Линкольн.
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,393 Теперь ты, Авраам Линкольн, машина-истребитель.
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,417 – Класс! Да! Так, погнали. – Терри?
00:00:12,502 --> 00:00:15,504 – Нет. Я занят. – Это важно. Пупа стал оранжевым.
00:00:15,589 --> 00:00:19,508 – И? Ты сломал мой «Хулу»-визор! – Пупа не должен быть оранжевым.
00:00:19,594 --> 00:00:22,812 – Пантон 101‐C. Что это значит? – Откуда мне знать?
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:26,462 Это твоя работа, Терри. Я чиню корабль, ты следишь за Пупой.
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:29,285 Ладно. Да. Моя работа. Точно.
00:00:29,369 --> 00:00:30,937 Он обретёт истинную форму,
00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:32,594 истребит всё на этой планете
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,427 и терраформирует её в наш новый дом.
00:00:34,513 --> 00:00:36,150 – Да. – Значит, нас съедят
00:00:36,235 --> 00:00:38,033 и терраформируют вместе со всеми!
00:00:38,117 --> 00:00:40,544 Вдруг такой цвет – первый шаг к аннигиляции?
00:00:40,628 --> 00:00:42,887 Стой. Он горячий. Это важно?
00:00:42,971 --> 00:00:45,061 Нет. Он всегда такой. К счастью, я гений
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,027 и знал, что ты ни на что не годишься,
00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,579 поэтому сделал карточку с данными о Пупе.
00:00:49,663 --> 00:00:52,715 Она в бумажнике. Надо его найти. Чёрт. Где он?
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,184 Когда я в последний раз использовал шлорпианские деньги?
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:58,524 На сделке с армянами. Ах! На Шлорпе!
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,308 Но он взорвался в заставке.
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:04,185 Значит, выбора нет. Придётся использовать шаго-возвращайзер,
00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:07,900 чтобы вернуться во времени в наш мир и найти бумажник.
00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:10,312 Я подожду здесь. Там придётся попотеть,
00:01:10,398 --> 00:01:13,276 а Пупа ещё никого не убил, так что…
00:01:13,362 --> 00:01:15,175 – Он взорвётся! – А-а!
00:01:16,091 --> 00:01:20,067 Планета Шлорп была идеальной утопией. Пока не упал астероид.
00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:23,533 Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли Пупу
00:01:23,618 --> 00:01:28,041 и сбежали в космос в поисках нового дома в незаселённых мирах.
00:01:28,726 --> 00:01:31,761 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на перенаселённой планете.
00:01:31,846 --> 00:01:33,423 Да. Всё это время говорю я.
00:01:33,508 --> 00:01:35,165 Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.
00:01:35,251 --> 00:01:36,917 И это моё шоу. Я бросил Пупу.
00:01:37,002 --> 00:01:40,782 Видите меня? Это смешно. Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
00:01:41,091 --> 00:01:43,678 Люди глупые. Куда делись все динозавры?
00:01:43,763 --> 00:01:45,547 Что они сделали с динозаврами?
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:57,243 Ну что? Где шаго-возвра-чего-то-там-айзер?
00:01:57,328 --> 00:01:59,205 Он как космический корабль с часами?
00:01:59,291 --> 00:02:01,187 Шаго-возвращайзер. Это хай-тек-обувь,
00:02:01,272 --> 00:02:04,612 позволяющая вернуться во времени в то место, где они были.
00:02:04,696 --> 00:02:06,525 Они стоят одиннадцать миллиардов долларов.
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:07,939 – С подсветкой? – Мои – да.
00:02:08,024 --> 00:02:11,181 – О, почему у тебя круче? – Потому что я главный.
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,300 У шаго-возвращайзера есть набор инструкций.
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,634 Если не следовать им, будет катастрофа
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,915 в пространственно-временном континууме, понимаешь?
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,869 – Боты рулят. Понял. – Правило первое.
00:02:20,953 --> 00:02:22,641 Когда мы вернёмся в прошлое,
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,149 никто не сможет увидеть и услышать нас.
00:02:25,235 --> 00:02:27,000 Второе. В прошлом можно быть
00:02:27,084 --> 00:02:29,022 всего восемь часов, иначе станем слизью.
00:02:29,106 --> 00:02:31,589 – Третье. Нельзя изучать что-то новое... – На заметку.
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,255 Крендельки – самый недооценённый возбудитель аппетита.
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:37,125 Надо сказать об этом составителям меню.
00:02:37,209 --> 00:02:39,411 Противные меню. Они такие длинные.
00:02:39,496 --> 00:02:42,365 Поэтому я не ем китайскую еду. Только поэтому.
00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:44,566 – Ты слушаешь? – Да. Слизь. Дальше.
00:02:46,105 --> 00:02:49,902 Джесси, ты снова не закрыла камеру воображения.
00:02:51,596 --> 00:02:53,662 Добро пожаловать, Юмьюлак.
00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:55,984 Привет, Аиша. Включи то, что смотрела Джесси.
00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:58,078 Это вторжение в личную жизнь.
00:02:58,162 --> 00:03:00,781 Да. В этом вся прелесть. Обойди протокол.
00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:03,275 Пароль «Панэра-брэд» с тройкой вместо «э».
00:03:03,359 --> 00:03:06,578 Протокол обойдён. Запускаю последнюю программу, шалун.
00:03:07,205 --> 00:03:09,177 Привет, Джесси. Я Веселак.
00:03:09,263 --> 00:03:11,798 Хочешь продолжить подборку с переодеванием?
00:03:11,882 --> 00:03:13,586 Мы остановились на костюме ковбоя.
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:16,204 Что это значит? А ты кто такой?
00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:18,353 Я Веселак. Я такой же, как ты,
00:03:18,439 --> 00:03:21,152 но веселее и милее. Я делаю причёски и пеку хлеб.
00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:23,813 У Джесси есть я, только милее? Это невозможно.
00:03:23,897 --> 00:03:26,723 Когда я вхожу в комнату, все говорят: «Очень мило».
00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:28,761 Для Джесси ты придурок. Она сказала:
00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:31,754 «Он пытался обменять меня на приставку у ведьмы».
00:03:31,839 --> 00:03:34,451 Да, но та не согласилась. Нельзя жаловаться,
00:03:34,535 --> 00:03:36,543 что тебя чуть не обменяли.
00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:38,832 «Он смеётся над тем, как я хожу и дышу».
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,304 Брось! Ты видел, как она ходит?
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,606 Это же «цок-цок-цок, вжих-вжих».
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,520 Мне нравится её походка.
00:03:45,606 --> 00:03:48,053 – Она элегантная. – Почему бы вам не пожениться?
00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:50,074 – Я бы рад. – А-а-а!
00:03:50,159 --> 00:03:52,753 Это всё чушь. Я очень милый!
00:03:52,839 --> 00:03:56,689 Я понравлюсь Джесси. С помощью Крейга Т. и Нельсона.
00:03:56,774 --> 00:03:59,417 Правило пятьдесят восемь. Ни в кого не влюбляться в прошлом,
00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:01,519 иначе станем слизью. Ты что, спишь?
00:04:01,605 --> 00:04:03,229 Ничего не трогать, а то станем слизью.
00:04:03,315 --> 00:04:06,728 Я бы хотел кое-что потрогать, но не выйдет. Мы будем как призраки.
00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:08,433 Тогда как мы возьмём бумажник?
00:04:08,518 --> 00:04:11,105 Используем вещи-трогателайзер.
00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:15,874 О, он тоже из нашего мира?
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,840 Похож на простую палку с вилкой.
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,015 Чтобы использовать её, нужна лицензия.
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,913 Но офис взорвался, так что обойдёмся.
00:04:22,998 --> 00:04:25,067 Пора вернуться в прошлое.
00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:36,168 ПЛАНЕТА ШЛОРП ДВУМЯ ГОДАМИ РАНЕЕ
00:04:46,109 --> 00:04:48,193 Прекрасный Шлорп. О, как я скучал
00:04:48,278 --> 00:04:50,631 по этому чудесному тоталитарному месту.
00:04:50,717 --> 00:04:52,383 Оно меньше, чем я запомнил.
00:04:52,985 --> 00:04:55,144 Не думал, что вновь увижу мою квартиру.
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,079 О, я полюбил здесь столько уравнений.
00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:58,904 О, любовь к математике?
00:04:58,989 --> 00:05:02,255 Это же ты! Чёрт, ты был таким тощим.
00:05:02,341 --> 00:05:07,265 О, серьёзно, встань рядом с собой. Сравним. Ты совсем распустился.
00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:09,049 Ты оставил бумажник на столе!
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,051 Прекрасно, Терри. Использую палку,
00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:13,297 чтобы перетащить его на наш корабль.
00:05:13,383 --> 00:05:16,167 Тогда он окажется на корабле в настоящем.
00:05:17,472 --> 00:05:19,366 Ты промазал, чтобы рассмешить меня?
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,709 – Отвернись. Не смотри на меня! – Получилось.
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,645 Привет, малыш.
00:05:26,731 --> 00:05:29,562 Хочешь чёрствое печенье из ржавой банки?
00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:33,296 Где я? Мы мертвы?
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:38,035 Добрый день, Лоррэйн. Я знаю, за годы ты пережила много потерь.
00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:40,863 Дети переехали. Муж от тебя ушёл.
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,732 Даже твои друзья умерли.
00:05:42,817 --> 00:05:46,308 У тебя остались лишь воспоминания.
00:05:46,392 --> 00:05:48,012 Это твой шанс, Лоррэйн.
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,672 Я могу проникнуть в твой мозг и показать то, чего ты не видела.
00:05:51,757 --> 00:05:54,499 Есть что-то, чего ты не можешь вспомнить?
00:05:54,584 --> 00:05:56,161 Я могу помочь.
00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:59,114 Я не помню лица моей матери.
00:05:59,199 --> 00:06:02,482 Я хотела бы увидеть её в последний раз.
00:06:08,553 --> 00:06:11,274 Все спокойны, хотя скоро взорвутся.
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,443 Явный признак развитого общества. Не считая зоны паники.
00:06:14,528 --> 00:06:18,198 Я смирился со смертью. Хотя буду скучать по друзьям и семье.
00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:21,596 – Он позорит себя. – Эй, мы почти на месте.
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:24,433 Закинем этого негодника в люк, и готово.
00:06:24,519 --> 00:06:26,129 Получай, негодник!
00:06:26,709 --> 00:06:28,303 Чёрт!
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,668 Эй! Миссия выполнена! Возвращаемся.
00:06:30,753 --> 00:06:32,625 Я хочу посмотреть «Хулу»-визор.
00:06:37,052 --> 00:06:39,492 Вот данные про Пупу. Так. Кхе-кхе.
00:06:39,577 --> 00:06:42,620 «Если Пупа стал оранжевым, он съел что-то оранжевое».
00:06:42,714 --> 00:06:45,088 Я скормил ему пакет кукурузных чипсов.
00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:47,840 Когда я ел их в тот раз, я тоже стал оранжевым.
00:06:48,082 --> 00:06:50,538 Отлично. Пупа не съест нас,
00:06:50,624 --> 00:06:52,925 по крайней мере, сегодня. И мы изменили прошлое, не вызвав
00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:56,077 нежелательного эффекта бабочки. Так что мяч в корзине.
00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:58,795 – Мы баскетболисты! – Мы баскетболисты!
00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:02,289 Привет, придурки! Ха-ха! Выпить нечего.
00:07:04,765 --> 00:07:08,916 – Пусть кто-нибудь сбегает в магазин. – Что? А ты кто?
00:07:09,002 --> 00:07:12,532 – У нас в доме пришелец! – Хватит дурачиться. Дел полно.
00:07:12,618 --> 00:07:15,213 Помогите разложить жилеты и перчатки без пальцев.
00:07:15,299 --> 00:07:17,934 Ты, кажется, сказал, все взорвались.
00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:19,799 Кто ты и что делаешь в нашем доме?
00:07:19,884 --> 00:07:21,566 О чём вы? Я Ванбо.
00:07:21,652 --> 00:07:23,345 Мы вместе сбежали со Шлорпа.
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:26,398 Ванбо? Я верно сказал? Ванбо?
00:07:26,484 --> 00:07:28,254 О-о! Корво.
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:31,693 А ты набрал вес. Похож на синего Шрека.
00:07:31,779 --> 00:07:34,356 Где твой осёл, синий Шрек?
00:07:35,777 --> 00:07:38,608 Терри. Я сломал твою приставку. Готовил в ней пиццу.
00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:41,317 Я получил её от ведьмы! Ты мерзавец!
00:07:41,521 --> 00:07:44,254 Ладно. Что здесь происходит?
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,070 Мы изменили что-то в прошлом.
00:07:46,156 --> 00:07:48,490 И теперь мы в тёмном девиантном потоке времени.
00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:51,439 Очевидно, Ванбо отправился с нами в миссию
00:07:51,524 --> 00:07:53,227 и жил с нами всё это время.
00:07:53,313 --> 00:07:55,715 Нет! Я не могу жить с таким примитивным парнем.
00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:58,950 Уверен, у него есть подкаст про преступность.
00:07:59,035 --> 00:08:01,198 Слушать – круто, но делать? Не-ет.
00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:03,430 Надо вернуть бумажник в прошлое.
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,221 Тогда мы вернёмся в правильное время.
00:08:05,307 --> 00:08:07,360 – Без Ванбо. – В прежнем потоке времени
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,929 Ванбо погиб на Шлорпе. Да. Но дело не в Ванбо.
00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:13,677 – Потоки времени перемешались. – Да. Потоки – главное.
00:08:13,762 --> 00:08:15,384 Но Ванбо точно умрёт?
00:08:15,469 --> 00:08:17,403 Да. Астероид уничтожит его.
00:08:17,489 --> 00:08:20,975 – Мы герои. – Терри! Сделай мне сэндвич со свининой.
00:08:21,059 --> 00:08:22,661 Быстро! Давай! Бежим!
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:28,444 Вот наша палка.
00:08:28,529 --> 00:08:30,693 Надо выкинуть обратно бумажник.
00:08:31,773 --> 00:08:33,650 Тогда всё вернётся как было.
00:08:33,735 --> 00:08:35,365 – Мы герои. – Бесспорно.
00:08:39,063 --> 00:08:41,678 Ну что, Джесси, расскажи, как провела день.
00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:43,319 – Правда? – М-м. Да.
00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:45,616 – Ну, я узнала, что Лорен… – Плевать!!!
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:48,590 Боже мой. У тебя начались те самые дни?
00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:53,021 Да. Но это здесь ни при чём. Я просто хочу нравиться тебе. Без условий.
00:08:53,107 --> 00:08:56,531 Стой, ты хочешь нравиться мне? Это так мило.
00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:59,350 Нет. Я просто… Я не хочу переживать из-за того,
00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:02,381 что ты убьёшь меня, когда я разозлю тебя.
00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:04,929 – О чём это ты? – Не знаю! Иди ты!
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:07,342 Да ты у нас истеричка!
00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:11,561 Ванбо? Есть здесь кто-то по имени Ванбо?
00:09:11,646 --> 00:09:13,475 – Я ищу Ванбо! – Что? Нет.
00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:15,129 – Да-да-да! Ладно. – Да! Да.
00:09:15,214 --> 00:09:18,823 – Он побежал по делам. – Приве-ет! Ванбо здесь.
00:09:19,638 --> 00:09:22,338 Есть новости. Я обменял машину для производства золота
00:09:22,424 --> 00:09:24,211 на этих дорогих крыс.
00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:28,998 – Не получилось, Корво! – Видите? Вы им нравитесь. Поцелуй их.
00:09:31,299 --> 00:09:32,879 Иди ты.
00:09:33,393 --> 00:09:35,107 Мы не вернёмся, пока не выясним,
00:09:35,193 --> 00:09:37,438 как Ванбо пережил гибель планеты.
00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:39,197 Я не помню, чтобы мы с ним жили.
00:09:39,282 --> 00:09:42,727 – Кто знал, что всё так будет? – Всё пошло не так.
00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:44,785 – Это не моя вина. – И точно не моя.
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:48,874 О, взгляни. Это наша первая встреча в прошлом. О, ты посмотри.
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,780 Я с радостью отправлюсь на миссию с тобой.
00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:53,143 Полагаю, ты любишь науку и логику.
00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:55,025 Ещё бы! Наука рулит!
00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:59,008 Я люблю её. И я эксперт по Пупе. Я знаю всё о Пупе.
00:09:59,094 --> 00:10:01,200 Терри, иди за мной. А я за тобой.
00:10:01,286 --> 00:10:02,861 – Нет. Я пойду за собой. – Терри,
00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:04,551 раз мы не помним встречи с Ванбо,
00:10:04,636 --> 00:10:06,617 мы должны следить друг за другом.
00:10:06,702 --> 00:10:09,627 – Встретимся на космодроме. – Ладно. Хорошо.
00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,476 Я снова молода.
00:10:16,192 --> 00:10:19,268 Милая, поможешь разложить покупки из супермаркета?
00:10:19,354 --> 00:10:21,515 Мама. Ты такая красивая.
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:24,016 Ох! Очень приятно слышать.
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,384 Я так скучала по тебе.
00:10:27,839 --> 00:10:29,463 Идём со мной.
00:10:50,089 --> 00:10:53,857 О, милая мамочка. Теперь я помню её лицо
00:10:53,942 --> 00:10:56,552 и смогу найти её на небесах.
00:10:56,638 --> 00:11:00,487 Теперь я могу умереть, зная, что всё будет в порядке.
00:11:00,573 --> 00:11:05,840 О, спасибо. Я могу как-то отблагодарить тебя за это?
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:08,641 У меня на кухне есть ящик с замком от детей.
00:11:08,727 --> 00:11:11,713 Внутри две батарейки и свисток Гарри Поттера.
00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,836 – Принеси мне их. – Ты хочешь батарейки?
00:11:14,921 --> 00:11:16,711 И свисток Гарри Поттера.
00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:22,335 О, ты был прав. Я просто отстой. Я думал, я классный.
00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:25,365 Юмьюлак, мой друг… Признание того, что ты отстой –
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,500 первый шаг к деотстоизации.
00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,383 Ладно, скажи мне, как быть милым с Джесси.
00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:33,116 Ну, мы просто зависаем в её любимом месте.
00:11:33,988 --> 00:11:35,915 О боже! Здесь ужасно!
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,261 Заходите в первый в мире магазин пастеризованных йогуртов
00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:40,289 имени Луи Пастера.
00:11:40,374 --> 00:11:44,045 Привет, Тодд. Твоё молоко теперь безопасное, йоу?
00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:46,590 Для этого и есть пастеризация.
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,590 Это ужасно. Джесси – неудачница.
00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:53,108 – Закрой поганый рот! – Это мои слова. Ты как я.
00:11:53,193 --> 00:11:55,963 Неправда. Сейчас я научу тебя быть милым.
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,809 Аиша, дай нам для этого голограмму Джесси.
00:11:58,895 --> 00:12:00,508 Ладно.
00:12:00,593 --> 00:12:03,066 Привет, Джесси. Классный аромат.
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,208 Попробуем вместе цветочные образцы?
00:12:05,294 --> 00:12:08,589 Спасибо, друг. Я попробую ананасовую вакцину от кори.
00:12:08,674 --> 00:12:10,784 – Умри! Я первый! – Пауза!
00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,550 Юм, ты ведёшь себя недостойно.
00:12:13,636 --> 00:12:15,782 Думаешь, это мило – желать ей смерти?
00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:17,159 – Да. – Нет, гнусно.
00:12:17,244 --> 00:12:19,865 – Ты обдурил меня. – Ладно. Вернёмся к основам.
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,660 Попробуй улыбнуться ей.
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,599 О, это будет непросто. Включи голограммное кофе.
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:28,256 Ага.
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:33,630 О, почва, в которой мы растём. Твои секреты восхищают меня.
00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:37,295 – Уф. Ботаник. – Начинается период релаксации.
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,944 Коллеги, я познакомился со специалистом по Пупе.
00:12:40,029 --> 00:12:42,004 – Он… – Красивый. Скажи «красивый».
00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:43,999 Придурок. У него глупое лицо.
00:12:44,085 --> 00:12:47,963 Он не отличит луч флорвокса от гостринового осциллятора.
00:12:48,304 --> 00:12:50,324 Не-ве-ро-ят-но.
00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:55,652 Поместите Пупу в сантиметровый слой пигмента
00:12:55,736 --> 00:12:57,668 и оставьте окрашиваться на три часа.
00:12:57,754 --> 00:12:59,470 Привет, Тэрри. Я скучал.
00:12:59,554 --> 00:13:01,489 Скучал по тебе, глупышка.
00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:04,022 Ну и ну! Эта штучка – подружка Терри?
00:13:04,108 --> 00:13:06,770 И её тоже зовут Тэрри? Почему он не упоминал?
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,274 О, да, я встретил напарника по эвакуации.
00:13:09,358 --> 00:13:10,938 Такой ботаник.
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,487 Жаль, что нельзя взять тебя вместо этого зануды.
00:13:13,572 --> 00:13:17,153 Номер 31827! Тихо! И застегни пуговицу!
00:13:17,239 --> 00:13:20,615 – Но так я круче. – Подчинение – вот что круто!
00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:23,348 Подчинение – это круто! Подчинение – это круто!
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:25,042 Подчинение – это круто!
00:13:25,653 --> 00:13:28,046 Да, Джесси. Прекрасный выбор.
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:30,341 И совсем не детский.
00:13:30,426 --> 00:13:33,595 Нет, не надо… Стой. Ты справился. Аиша, анализ злобы.
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,763 – Злоба не обнаружена. – Я смог!
00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:39,019 Поздравляю, Юмьюлак. За усердную работу награждаю тебя
00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,242 стикером любимого Мстителя.
00:13:41,327 --> 00:13:44,597 О да! Соколиный глаз! У него колчан, и его зовут Клинт.
00:13:44,683 --> 00:13:48,541 У-у! Моя суперсила в цели! Я целюсь в тебя. В тебя. В тебя…
00:13:48,626 --> 00:13:51,200 – Вечером будешь спать как младенец. – В тебя. В тебя…
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,490 Фу!
00:13:53,664 --> 00:13:55,913 Когда ты в последний раз чистил Стену?
00:13:55,998 --> 00:13:59,351 Там стало ужасно с тех пор, как они изобрели религию.
00:13:59,436 --> 00:14:01,428 Джесси, привет. Хотел поздороваться
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,864 и сказать, что твой бант – класс.
00:14:03,949 --> 00:14:06,631 Стой. Это ловушка? Если да, лучше скажи.
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,751 – Я сделал комплимент. – Правда?
00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:12,217 Да! Пойду, пока ты всё не испортила. Пока.
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,734 – Ты мерзавец! – Да? Знаешь что? Ты дурак!
00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:21,190 Хотел взять свою тупую подружку на Землю?
00:14:21,276 --> 00:14:23,007 Думаешь, эта Терри лучше, чем я?
00:14:23,092 --> 00:14:24,881 Ты сказал, я глупый и не знаю,
00:14:24,966 --> 00:14:26,938 – что делать с Пупой. – Это так!
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,913 Я справился. Я был добр с Джесси.
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,778 Я милейший мерзавец из всех.
00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,767 – Это чудесно! – Спасибо,
00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:39,969 что потратил время и помог мне стать лучше.
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:41,949 Теперь я могу удалить тебя.
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:43,981 – Удалять кого-то – плохо! – Да, знаю.
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:47,132 Но Джесси не должна узнать, что я учился.
00:14:47,216 --> 00:14:49,980 – Тебя придётся стереть. – Что ж. Рад был обучить тебя.
00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:52,353 Я тоже кое-чему научился у тебя.
00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:54,193 – Да? Чему же? – Быть мерзавцем!
00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:55,871 Пусти меня!
00:15:01,926 --> 00:15:03,637 О боже! Какого чёрта?!
00:15:03,722 --> 00:15:06,291 У Джесси наконец будет хороший брат.
00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:08,761 Ладно-ладно-ладно-ладно-ладно!
00:15:08,856 --> 00:15:10,883 – Хватит. Всё. Партнёрству конец. – Идёт.
00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:13,698 Когда вернёмся в наше время, я уеду в Сан-Диего.
00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:16,411 Сниму квартиру и буду каждый день есть рыбные тако.
00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:17,707 – Не вспомню о тебе! – Чем быстрее, тем лучше.
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,701 Вместе у нас ничего не выходит.
00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:22,890 О, какие милые репликанты.
00:15:22,975 --> 00:15:24,891 Действительно. Как и мы все.
00:15:24,977 --> 00:15:27,148 Смотри. Двое пришельцев с репликантами
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:30,789 собираются в космос, чтобы терраформировать планету.
00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:32,972 Мы не знали, во что ввязываемся.
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:36,076 Терри, мы так долго были на Земле как одна семья,
00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:38,349 что я даже не заметил, как мы стали ею.
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,417 Думаю, это случилось,
00:15:40,503 --> 00:15:42,983 когда мы смотрели «Миссия невыполнима: Протокол Фантом».
00:15:43,069 --> 00:15:44,694 Помнишь? Том Круз. Т. К.
00:15:44,779 --> 00:15:47,936 Терри, думаю, ты прав. Мы полюбили этот фильм. Вместе.
00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:51,569 Помнишь, мы сделали Фанбакета, он спятил и напал на город?
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:54,852 Да, здорово было. А помнишь, ты сделал логово
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:57,018 и закопал во дворе этого жуткого робота?
00:15:57,104 --> 00:15:59,193 Ты любил её. А помнишь день музыки?
00:15:59,279 --> 00:16:01,361 Да. Или когда мы выступили с Симпсонами
00:16:01,447 --> 00:16:03,454 в матче против монстров?
00:16:03,539 --> 00:16:07,169 Знаешь, может, мы не выбирали друг друга, но мы жили хорошо.
00:16:07,255 --> 00:16:09,560 – Не хочу терять это. – Я тоже, Корво.
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,372 – Господи! – Привет.
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:14,289 Посмотрел фото моего холма? Здорово, да?
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:18,047 Что значит «не понравилось»?! Ты не хочешь фотку моего лысого холма?!
00:16:18,132 --> 00:16:19,491 Ты не видел корку?!
00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:22,434 Ванбо! Что делать?
00:16:22,496 --> 00:16:24,594 Это шанс всё исправить. Ударь его палкой!
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,385 – Чем? – Вещи-трогателайзером!
00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:28,042 Ах да, точно.
00:16:30,804 --> 00:16:33,554 – Ванбо, что с тобой? Что происходит? – Хватит!
00:17:09,235 --> 00:17:11,403 Вот куда ты хотел сводить меня?
00:17:11,487 --> 00:17:13,821 Ты же говорил, йогурт – мороженое для наркоманов.
00:17:13,905 --> 00:17:16,753 О, раньше. Но теперь я мил с тобой
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,466 и буду есть отвратительную холодную слизь.
00:17:19,881 --> 00:17:21,714 Ты в порядке, Юмьюлак?
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:26,244 Да. Вставай в очередь. Я подержу твою сумочку, пока ты будешь заказывать.
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,580 – Ты предложил подержать сумку? – Да.
00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:30,542 – И пропустить? – Конечно.
00:17:30,626 --> 00:17:33,137 Что ж, ладно. Звучит здорово.
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:36,567 Только я… вот он. Да!
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:41,091 – Боже! Что ты наделала? – Не волнуйтесь, это не мой брат.
00:17:41,175 --> 00:17:43,874 Это симуляция из камеры воображения,
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:47,157 которая перенесла его сознание в трёхмерное тело.
00:17:47,243 --> 00:17:50,628 Джесси, за что? Я же был мил.
00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:52,509 Я вызываю полицию! Ни с места!
00:17:53,819 --> 00:17:56,017 Ты превратила его в игровой картридж!
00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:58,520 – Забудьте, что видели, сэр. – Не могу!
00:17:58,604 --> 00:18:00,390 Это так необычно!
00:18:00,476 --> 00:18:04,068 Прошу, проснись! Прости, что создала Веселака.
00:18:04,154 --> 00:18:08,264 Иногда ты вёл себя как придурок, но ты мой брат, и я тебя люблю.
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:10,968 Привет, Джесси. Продолжим нашу дискуссию,
00:18:11,052 --> 00:18:12,626 кто круче: Пита или Гэйл?
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,921 Или, может, поучимся танцевать?
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,342 Ты не Юмьюлак. Ты Веселак!
00:18:18,427 --> 00:18:20,574 Спасибо за сладкие поцелуи.
00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:24,561 Включи паузу! Включи паузу! Боже, нет! Я убила Юмьюлака!
00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:28,207 Я убила Юмьюлака и превратила его в картридж.
00:18:28,292 --> 00:18:31,962 Как и было предсказано в записке из печеньки!
00:18:42,303 --> 00:18:45,097 – Ну? Кто здесь синий Шрек? – Избавимся от тела.
00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:46,998 У тебя превращатель в картридж?
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,520 Нет, он всегда нужен, когда его нет.
00:18:54,436 --> 00:18:56,146 Помни, Терри, мы герои.
00:18:59,069 --> 00:19:01,399 – Получилось! Ванбо нет! – Мы починили время!
00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:04,028 – Эй! Да! – Отлично.
00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:09,279 Эх... Похоже, мы
00:19:09,364 --> 00:19:12,638 – немного изменили поток времени. – Что ж, не так уж плохо.
00:19:12,723 --> 00:19:15,042 С этим можно смириться, если Ванбо нет.
00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,610 Привет, придурки.
00:19:19,696 --> 00:19:21,370 Ванбо! Что ты здесь делаешь?
00:19:21,456 --> 00:19:23,080 Ты должен быть мёртв!
00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:25,802 Должен быть мёртв. Но меня спас
00:19:25,887 --> 00:19:29,723 и помог мне восстановиться кое-кто особенный.
00:19:30,616 --> 00:19:32,661 – Привет, Терри. – Тэрри через «э»?
00:19:32,746 --> 00:19:35,785 – Что ты здесь делаешь? – Я научный партнёр Ванбо.
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,487 И теперь меня больше не зовут Тэрри.
00:19:38,573 --> 00:19:41,730 Ммм. Я Вэнби. Тоже через «э».
00:19:41,816 --> 00:19:43,548 – Чёрт. Как круто. – Мы искали вас
00:19:43,632 --> 00:19:46,752 по всей галактике. Я знаю, это вы напали на меня
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:48,438 с палкой времени на Шлорпе.
00:19:48,524 --> 00:19:50,590 Мы… не понимаем, о чём ты.
00:19:50,676 --> 00:19:52,666 У меня для вас важные новости.
00:19:52,752 --> 00:19:55,794 – Шлорп не взрывался. – Что?
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,470 И я прилетел, чтобы вернуть вас. Вы подвергнетесь
00:19:58,555 --> 00:20:01,849 наказанию за использование вещи-трогателайзера
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:04,286 – без лицензии! – Что?!
00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:08,077 Терри, Корво! Я убила Юмьюлака и превратила его тело в картридж!
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,282 – Его больше нет! – Что?!
00:20:10,366 --> 00:20:12,301 О! Ещё кое-что. Когда мы улетим,
00:20:12,387 --> 00:20:15,701 я взорву эту тупую, дурацкую планету Земля,
00:20:15,786 --> 00:20:18,435 потому что так поступает Ванбо.
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,675 Этого не может быть!
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,471 За что? Почему это происходит?
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,563 Стой. Она права.
00:20:25,648 --> 00:20:27,910 – Этого не может быть. – Но есть.
00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:30,497 Слишком много безумных событий сразу.
00:20:30,582 --> 00:20:32,312 В жизни так не бывает.
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,982 Нет-нет-нет! Это нереалистично.
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,067 Этот парень спятил.
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,827 – Посмотрим, как он наложит в штаны. – Ты не видишь?
00:20:37,913 --> 00:20:40,412 Путешествие во времени, смерть Юмьюлака, Шлорп не взорвался.
00:20:40,497 --> 00:20:42,344 Брось. Это слишком.
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:46,633 – Подумай. Целый список. Это перебор! – Нереалистично.
00:20:46,717 --> 00:20:50,600 Да? Вы уверены, что мы не в матрице?
00:20:50,686 --> 00:20:52,262 Или в перезагруженной матрице?
00:20:52,348 --> 00:20:53,993 Вокруг летали бы зелёные цифры
00:20:54,079 --> 00:20:55,897 – и солнечные очки. – Значит, что-то другое.
00:20:55,982 --> 00:20:59,903 И я узнаю что. Может, это что-то типа «Экзистенции»?
00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:02,318 Хватит. Недавно ты решил, что мы в «Экзистенции»,
00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:04,391 потому что нам дали лишнюю картошку.
00:21:04,477 --> 00:21:06,987 У тебя каждый раз «Экзистенция».
00:21:07,073 --> 00:21:09,695 Правда, умник? Боты для путешествия во времени
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:12,685 можно использовать, когда хочешь. Ты хотел узнать про Пупу.
00:21:12,769 --> 00:21:14,513 Почему не воспользовался ими?
00:21:14,598 --> 00:21:16,533 Почему не воспользовался?
00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:18,281 Уверен, есть логичное объяснение.
00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:21,523 Нет, его нет. Ясно? Замолчи. Мы где-то
00:21:21,607 --> 00:21:24,584 в «Странных днях», в «Других ипостасях», в «Газонокосильщике» и «Хортоне».
00:21:24,670 --> 00:21:26,945 – Может, это «Трон»? – Не подстрекай. Это не «Трон».
00:21:27,029 --> 00:21:30,635 – Может, мы спим? – Другой разговор! Уверен,
00:21:30,719 --> 00:21:33,504 это какая-то фантастика вроде «Начала»,
00:21:33,588 --> 00:21:36,731 «Куда приводят мечты», «Иосиф и его удивительный плащ снов».
00:21:36,815 --> 00:21:39,097 Не может быть. Корво не затащат в сон.
00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:41,101 В чьём мы сне? А? Проснись! Проснись!
00:21:41,186 --> 00:21:43,027 – Хватит. Прекрати. – Ты должен проснуться.
00:21:43,111 --> 00:21:44,731 – Не трогай меня, Ванбо. Стой. – Проснись.
00:21:44,817 --> 00:21:47,961 – Проснись, Корво. Давай, ты сможешь. – Не спать, Корво. Проснись.
00:21:48,046 --> 00:21:51,419 – Просыпайся. – Я пытаюсь. Пытаюсь.
00:21:51,589 --> 00:21:54,249 О, и давно вы в комнате воображения?
00:21:55,092 --> 00:21:57,402 Хах! Я знал! Ничего этого не было.
00:21:58,013 --> 00:22:00,881 Что за… Откуда у Пупы свисток Гарри Поттера?
00:22:00,966 --> 00:22:03,023 – Мы же заперли его. – Как он достал его?
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,947 – Не смотри на меня. – Это ты ему дал.
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,447 – Не я! – Терри.
00:22:06,532 --> 00:22:08,701 Хватит поднимать ложную тревогу из-за Пупы.
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,729 Из-за тебя я начал гублерить.
00:22:10,815 --> 00:22:12,607 Ладно. Хорошо.
00:22:16,024 --> 00:22:18,953 – Странно. Раньше такого не было. – Пупа, хватит.
00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:20,969 Может, сказать Терри и Корво?
00:22:21,054 --> 00:22:22,663 Нет. Они и так на взводе.
00:22:22,749 --> 00:22:25,086 Что, если он убьёт всех нас?
00:22:25,172 --> 00:22:27,174 Ну да, сейчас. Такого не будет.
00:22:29,903 --> 00:22:31,734 Увидимся в новом сезоне.
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:38,992 Терри!
00:22:51,862 --> 00:22:53,467 Терри!
00:23:15,827 --> 00:23:17,422 Терри!
00:23:24,241 --> 00:23:25,862 Терри!
00:23:39,366 --> 00:23:42,480 Хулу. Хулу. Хулу.

00:00:04,528 --> 00:00:07,318 Вы больше не Авраам Линкольн, президент США.
00:00:07,318 --> 00:00:10,368 Теперь вы Авраам Линкольн, истребитель машин.
00:00:10,368 --> 00:00:12,078 Черт возьми, да. Поехали.
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,238 - Терри! - Я занят, занимаюсь.
00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:15,288 Это важно. Пупа стал оранжевым.
00:00:15,288 --> 00:00:17,908 И? Эй, ты сломал мой планшет!
00:00:17,908 --> 00:00:20,958 Пупа не должен быть оранжевым. Он Pantone 101-C.
00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,788 - Что это значит? - Откуда я, блин, знаю?
00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:26,338 Потому что это твоя работа, Терри. Я чиню корабль, а ты заботишься о Пупе.
00:00:26,338 --> 00:00:29,338 Точно, да, это моя работа. Это правда.
00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:30,838 Когда он эволюционирует в конечную форму,
00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:32,468 он поглотит все на этой планете
00:00:32,468 --> 00:00:34,388 и террареформирует ее, чтобы создать наш новый дом.
00:00:34,388 --> 00:00:36,058 - Ага. - А это значит, что нас съедят
00:00:36,058 --> 00:00:37,928 и мы трансформируемся вместе со всем, наверное.
00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:40,438 Что, если то, что он стал оранжевым, - это первый признак конца света?
00:00:40,438 --> 00:00:42,768 Подожди, мне кажется, у него жар. Это важно?
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,938 Нет, у него всегда жар. К счастью, я гений
00:00:44,938 --> 00:00:46,898 и подозревал, что ты с этим не справишься,
00:00:46,898 --> 00:00:49,448 поэтому я написал всю важную информацию о Пупе на карточке.
00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:51,568 Она в моем кошельке. Сейчас найду его.
00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:52,568 Черт возьми, куда я положил...
00:00:52,568 --> 00:00:55,198 Когда мне последний раз нужна была шлорпианская валюта?
00:00:55,198 --> 00:00:56,948 Это было в кафе Armenian deli?
00:00:56,948 --> 00:00:58,498 Это же было на Шлорпе!
00:00:58,498 --> 00:01:00,368 Но планета была разрушена в начальных титрах.
00:01:00,368 --> 00:01:03,538 У нас нет выбора. Я должен использовать Вернись-по-Следам-айзер,
00:01:03,538 --> 00:01:06,548 чтобы вернуться назад во времени, отправиться на нашу планету
00:01:06,548 --> 00:01:07,958 и найти мой кошелек.
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,258 Я, пожалуй, откажусь. Похоже, предстоит много работы,
00:01:10,258 --> 00:01:12,968 а Пупа никого пока не убивал на Земле, так что...
00:01:12,968 --> 00:01:15,008 Он взорвется!
00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:19,978 Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией. До падения астероида.
00:01:21,188 --> 00:01:23,558 Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой
00:01:23,558 --> 00:01:25,688 и отправились в космос
00:01:25,688 --> 00:01:28,028 в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.
00:01:28,778 --> 00:01:31,658 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселенной планете.
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,318 Верно, это я говорил все это время.
00:01:33,318 --> 00:01:35,118 Я тот, который держут Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.
00:01:35,118 --> 00:01:36,948 Это... это мое шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу.
00:01:36,948 --> 00:01:38,908 Видите меня? Это просто смешно.
00:01:38,908 --> 00:01:40,908 Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:43,748 Люди глупые. Где, черт возьми, все динозавры?
00:01:43,748 --> 00:01:45,458 Что они сделали со всеми динозаврами?
00:01:53,428 --> 00:01:57,218 Итак, где этот Вершись-что-то-гейзер?
00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,178 Он выглядит как корабль с огромными часами?
00:01:59,178 --> 00:02:01,138 Вернись-по-Следам-айзер. Это хай-тек обувь,
00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,978 благодаря которой можно отправиться назад
00:02:02,978 --> 00:02:04,518 туда, где мы стояли в прошлом.
00:02:04,518 --> 00:02:06,438 Они стоят $11 млрд за один ботинок.
00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:07,858 - А они светятся? - Мои - да.
00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:11,108 - А почему это у тебя крутые? - Потому что я главный.
00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:14,238 Вернись-по-Следам-айзером надо знать, как пользоваться.
00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:16,528 Если ошибиться, то это может закончится катастрофой
00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:18,618 для пространственно-временного континуума. Понимаешь, Терри?
00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:20,828 - У обуви есть правила. Понял. - Правило номер один.
00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:22,788 При использовании Вернись-по-Следам-айзера
00:02:22,788 --> 00:02:25,128 никто нас не увидит и не услышит.
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:28,878 Два: мы можем находиться в прошлом только 8 часов, иначе превратимся в жижу.
00:02:28,878 --> 00:02:30,668 Три: мы не можем научиться ничему ново...
00:02:30,668 --> 00:02:34,258 Заметка для самого себя: крендельки - это самая недооцененная закуска.
00:02:34,258 --> 00:02:37,138 Надо сказать это тем, кто делает эти меню.
00:02:37,138 --> 00:02:39,428 Чертовы меню. Некоторые из них слишком длинные.
00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:41,848 Слишком много пунктов. Именно поэтому я не люблю китайскую кухню.
00:02:41,848 --> 00:02:43,058 - Больше причин нет. - Ты меня слушаешь?
00:02:43,058 --> 00:02:44,308 Да, да, жижа. Продолжай.
00:02:46,058 --> 00:02:49,398 Джесси, ты снова не закрыла Палубу-Воображатор.
00:02:51,398 --> 00:02:53,608 Добро пожаловать на Палубу-Воображатор, Юмьюлак.
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,948 Эй, Аиша, включи последнюю программу, которую запускала Джесси.
00:02:55,948 --> 00:02:58,158 Это нарушение приватности, как ты считаешь?
00:02:58,158 --> 00:02:59,488 Да, именно поэтому это и круто.
00:02:59,488 --> 00:03:00,868 Обойти протокол.
00:03:00,868 --> 00:03:03,368 Пароль: Panera Bread с 3 вместо Е.
00:03:03,368 --> 00:03:06,368 Принято. Загружаю последнюю программу, маленький ты псих.
00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:09,288 Привет, Джесси, я Весельюлак.
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:11,918 Хочешь продолжить примерку?
00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:13,718 Мы остановились на костюмах ковбоя.
00:03:13,718 --> 00:03:16,338 Что это за черт? Что это значит?
00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:18,348 Я Весельюлак. Я прямо как ты,
00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:21,308 но веселее и милее. А еще я знаю, как заплетать косички и печь хлеб.
00:03:21,308 --> 00:03:23,978 У Джесси есть более милый я? Это невозможно.
00:03:23,978 --> 00:03:26,898 Каждый раз, когда я захожу в комнату, кто-то говорит: "Ну класс".
00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:28,938 Ну, Джесси думает, что ты мудак. Она однажды сказала...
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:30,018 Он пытался продать меня
00:03:30,018 --> 00:03:31,938 ведьме за PS4.
00:03:31,938 --> 00:03:33,568 Да, но она не согласилась.
00:03:33,568 --> 00:03:36,528 Нельзя жаловаться, что тебя почти что продали ведьме.
00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,778 Он смеется над тем, как я хожу и дышу.
00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:39,988 Да ладно.
00:03:39,988 --> 00:03:43,748 Ты вообще видел, как она ходит? Топ, топ, топ, вдох, вдох.
00:03:43,748 --> 00:03:45,658 Мне нравится то, как она ходит. И что теперь?
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,078 Я думаю, она ходит элегантно. - Тогда почему бы вам не жениться?
00:03:48,078 --> 00:03:50,248 - Я бы хотел. - Отвратительно!
00:03:50,248 --> 00:03:52,708 Это бред. Я же супер-милый.
00:03:52,708 --> 00:03:54,838 Похоже, мне нужно заставить Джесси любить меня
00:03:54,838 --> 00:03:56,718 с помощью Крейга Ти и Нельсона.
00:03:56,718 --> 00:03:59,588 Правило 58: ни в кого не влюблйся в прошлом,
00:03:59,588 --> 00:04:01,508 или мы превратимся в жижу. Ты спишь?
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,428 Не трогать ничего, иначе мы превратимся в жижу.
00:04:03,428 --> 00:04:05,678 Жаль, что я не могу ничего касаться, это невозможно.
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,478 - Мы как призраки. - Но тогда
00:04:07,478 --> 00:04:08,478 как нам забрать твой кошелек?
00:04:08,478 --> 00:04:11,148 Нам придется использоваться Ткни-Свое-Барахло-Айзер.
00:04:13,978 --> 00:04:15,858 Вау, это с нашей планеты?
00:04:15,858 --> 00:04:19,028 Похоже на палку с ложкой-вилкой на конце.
00:04:19,028 --> 00:04:20,988 Знаешь, для этого обычно нужна лицензия,
00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:22,948 но так офис уничтожен, то проблем у нас не будет.
00:04:22,948 --> 00:04:25,288 А теперь время вернуться по следам.
00:04:46,058 --> 00:04:47,348 Прекрасный Шлорп.
00:04:47,348 --> 00:04:50,598 Как я скучал по этому классному тоталитарному месту.
00:04:50,598 --> 00:04:52,478 Оно намного меньше, чем мне казалось.
00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:55,068 Никогда не думал, что снова увижу свою старую комнату.
00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:56,988 О боже, тут я так наслаждался своими уравнениями.
00:04:56,988 --> 00:04:58,608 Ты трахал математику? Дичь.
00:04:58,608 --> 00:04:59,908 Это молодой ты.
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,318 Черт, ты был таким стройным.
00:05:02,318 --> 00:05:05,038 Серьезно, встань рядом. Посмотри, как отличаешься.
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,248 Ты себя запустил!
00:05:07,248 --> 00:05:08,908 Смотри, ты оставил кошелек на столе.
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,918 Отлично, Терри. Теперь я воспользуюсь палкой,
00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,168 чтобы дотыкать кошелек до корабля в космическом порте.
00:05:13,168 --> 00:05:15,958 Тогда он будет на корабле, когда мы вернемся в настоящее.
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,258 Ты специально промахиваешься, чтобы меня посмешить?
00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,468 - Прекрати смотреть. - Получается.
00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:21,548 Не смотри на меня.
00:05:24,928 --> 00:05:26,718 Привет, малыш.
00:05:26,718 --> 00:05:29,428 Хочешь черствых печенюшек из жестянки?
00:05:31,478 --> 00:05:33,228 Где я? Мы мертвы?
00:05:33,228 --> 00:05:34,608 Добрый день, Лоррейн.
00:05:34,608 --> 00:05:37,978 Я знаю, что ты многое потеряла за эти годы.
00:05:37,978 --> 00:05:40,818 Твои дети переехали. Твой муж умер.
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,698 Даже твои друзья умерли.
00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:46,278 Все, что у тебя осталось, это твои воспоминания.
00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:47,988 Это твой шанс, Лоррейн.
00:05:47,988 --> 00:05:51,668 Я могу забраться в твое сознание и показать тебе любое твое воспоминание.
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:54,498 Есть что-либо, что ты уже не помнишь,
00:05:54,498 --> 00:05:56,168 что я мог бы показать тебе?
00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:59,128 Я не помню лица своей матери.
00:05:59,128 --> 00:06:02,508 Как бы я хотела увидеть ее еще разок.
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:11,268 Все такие спокойные, хотя их скоро уничтожит.
00:06:11,268 --> 00:06:14,438 Такое развитое общество. Кроме зон для паники.
00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:15,858 Я смирился со своей смертью,
00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:18,278 хотя я буду скучать по своим друзьям и семье, когда умру.
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,898 Этот парень просто позорит себя.
00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:21,818 Эй, мы почти добрались до порта.
00:06:21,818 --> 00:06:24,528 Нам нужно просто допихать этого плохиша до шлюза.
00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:25,868 У тебя получится!
00:06:26,658 --> 00:06:27,658 Черт возьми!
00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:30,788 Миссия выполнена, отправляемся обратно.
00:06:30,788 --> 00:06:32,658 Я хочу посмотреть Hulu.
00:06:36,958 --> 00:06:39,548 Наконец-то мы получим ответы о Пупе. Ладно,
00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:42,548 если Пупа стал оранжевым, то он съел что-то оранжевое.
00:06:42,548 --> 00:06:45,138 Ну, я скормил ему пачку Доритос.
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,008 Я и сам в прошлом году стал оранжевым из-за этого.
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,518 Это отлично. Нас не поглотит Пупа,
00:06:50,518 --> 00:06:52,888 по крайней мере, не сегодня, и мы изменили прошлое, не создав
00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:56,098 никакого эффекта бабочки. Так что все получилось.
00:06:56,098 --> 00:06:58,728 - Посмотри, какие мы молодцы. - О да, это так.
00:06:58,728 --> 00:07:01,188 - Эй, придурки!
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,358 У нас пиво закончилось.
00:07:04,648 --> 00:07:07,488 Кто-нибудь купит еще?
00:07:07,488 --> 00:07:08,988 Стоп, что? Кто ты вообще такой?
00:07:08,988 --> 00:07:10,578 Черт возьми, в нашем доме пришелец!
00:07:10,578 --> 00:07:12,578 Хватит прикалываться, вам есть чем заняться.
00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:15,078 Помогите сложить все мои жилеты и перчатки без пальцев.
00:07:15,078 --> 00:07:17,958 Мне казалось, ты сказал, что все были уничтожены.
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,878 Кто ты такой и что ты делаешь в нашем доме?
00:07:19,878 --> 00:07:21,758 О чем это вы? Я Ванбо.
00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,628 Мы вместе улетели со Шлорпа, помните?
00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:26,428 Ванбо? Я правильно произношу? Ванбо?
00:07:26,428 --> 00:07:28,138 Воу, Корво!
00:07:28,138 --> 00:07:30,348 А ты набрал килограммов, приятель.
00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:31,678 Ты выглядишь как синий Шрек.
00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:34,348 Где твой осел, синий Шрек?
00:07:35,768 --> 00:07:38,688 А, и Терри, я сломал твой PS4, потому что попытался приготовить в нем пиццу.
00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:41,188 Эй, я только что получил его от ведьмы. Сукин ты...
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,358 Ладно, что за фигня происходит?
00:07:44,358 --> 00:07:46,198 Похоже, мы случайно изменили что-то в прошлом,
00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,568 из-за чего мы попали в темное, извращенное время.
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,328 Из-за этого Ванбо полетел с нами
00:07:51,328 --> 00:07:53,118 и жил тут все это время.
00:07:53,118 --> 00:07:55,618 Эй, я не смогу жить с таким тупым чуваком.
00:07:55,618 --> 00:07:58,918 Я уверен, что у него есть подкаст с Истинным преступлением. Он точно сам этим занимается.
00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:01,088 Слушать его - ладно. Заниматься им - нет.
00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:03,338 Мы должны вернуться в прошлое и переделать события с кошельком,
00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:05,258 что вернет нас в правильное время.
00:08:05,258 --> 00:08:06,378 И тогда мы избавимся от Ванбо?
00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:08,798 В правильном времени Ванбо умер на Шлорпе.
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:12,308 Так что да, но дело не в Ванбо. Мы должны починить время.
00:08:12,308 --> 00:08:13,638 Да, да, время - это самое важное,
00:08:13,638 --> 00:08:15,058 но ты уверен, что Ванбо умрет?
00:08:15,058 --> 00:08:17,348 Да, его тело испарится из-за астероида.
00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:19,098 - Мы-мы герои. - Терри, иди на кухню
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,518 и приготовь мне сэндвич с ветчиной!
00:08:20,518 --> 00:08:21,978 Быстрее, пошли, идем.
00:08:26,858 --> 00:08:28,068 Вот наша палка.
00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:30,488 Теперь нам надо просто вытолкать кошелек обратно.
00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:33,698 Это отменит изменения в нашем времени.
00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:35,328 - Мы герои. - Это точно.
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,838 Итак, Джесси, расскажи, как прошел твой день или типа того.
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:43,378 - Серьезно? - Ага.
00:08:43,378 --> 00:08:45,508 - Я узнала, что Лоренс начал... - Да плевать.
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:48,468 Да божечки, у меня что, смп?
00:08:48,468 --> 00:08:50,218 Да, но это ничего не меняет.
00:08:50,218 --> 00:08:51,718 Я хочу нравится тебе, ничего не делая.
00:08:51,718 --> 00:08:53,098 Я хочу нравится без причины.
00:08:53,098 --> 00:08:56,598 Подожди, тебе не плевать? Это так мило.
00:08:56,598 --> 00:08:59,308 Нет, я просто не хочу волноваться,
00:08:59,308 --> 00:09:02,358 что ты выстрелишь в меня из гребаного пистолета, когда я достану тебя.
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,568 О чем ты вообще?
00:09:03,568 --> 00:09:05,028 Я не знаю! Иди к черту!
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,358 Что за драма-квин.
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:11,658 Ванбо? Тут есть кто-нибудь, кого зовут Ванбо?
00:09:11,658 --> 00:09:13,618 - Ищем Ванбо. - Что? Нет.
00:09:13,618 --> 00:09:15,038 - Да, да, отлично! - О да!
00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:16,698 Он ушел по своим делам.
00:09:16,698 --> 00:09:19,498 Хей, Ванбо вернулся!
00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:22,288 Хорошие новости. Я обменял машину по созданию золота
00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:24,168 на этих дорогих крыс.
00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:27,338 Видите? Они вас уже любят.
00:09:27,338 --> 00:09:28,918 Посмотрите. Ну чмокните их.
00:09:30,428 --> 00:09:32,588 К черту.
00:09:33,388 --> 00:09:35,098 Мы не можем вернуться в настоящее, пока не выясним,
00:09:35,098 --> 00:09:37,308 как у Ванбо получается избегать уничтожения.
00:09:37,308 --> 00:09:39,098 Я даже не помню, как мы с ним живем.
00:09:39,098 --> 00:09:41,348 Кто бы мог подумать, что путешествия во времени - это так трудно.
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,438 Путешествия во времени должны быть простыми. Я не виноват.
00:09:43,438 --> 00:09:44,898 Ну, это и не моя вина.
00:09:44,898 --> 00:09:47,648 Эй, посмотри, прошлые мы встречаемся впервые.
00:09:47,648 --> 00:09:48,858 Только взгляни на это.
00:09:48,858 --> 00:09:50,778 Я рад, что мы отправимся на миссию вместе.
00:09:50,778 --> 00:09:53,198 Я уверен, ты любишь науку и восхлавляешь логику.
00:09:53,198 --> 00:09:54,868 О да. Наука рулит.
00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:59,038 Мне все это нравится, а еще я эксперт по Пупам. Я знаю все о Пупах.
00:09:59,038 --> 00:10:01,288 Терри, проследи за прошлым мной, а я пойду за прошлым тобой.
00:10:01,288 --> 00:10:02,418 Нет, я хочу пойти за прошлым собой.
00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:04,458 Терри, так как мы не помним, как мы жили с Ванбо,
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:06,708 то нам лучше изучить действия друг друга.
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:09,208 - Увидимся в космическом порту. - Ладно, звучит неплохо.
00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:15,508 Я снова молодая,
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:19,428 Милая, не поможешь мне разобрать покупки?
00:10:19,428 --> 00:10:21,428 Мама, ты такая красивая.
00:10:21,428 --> 00:10:24,018 О, это так мило.
00:10:24,018 --> 00:10:26,188 Я так по тебе соскучилась.
00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:29,528 Бежим со мной.
00:10:50,088 --> 00:10:53,758 Моя милая мама. Теперь, раз я помню, как она выглядит,
00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:56,598 я смогу найти ее на небесах.
00:10:56,598 --> 00:11:00,468 Теперь я могу умереть, зная, что все хорошо.
00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:03,558 Спасибо. Наверное, есть какой-то способ
00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:05,808 отплатить тебе за это.
00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:08,768 На моей кухне есть ящик с защитой от детей.
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,688 Внутри лежат две батарейки АА и свисток Гарри Поттера.
00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:13,068 Принеси их мне.
00:11:13,198 --> 00:11:16,448 - Тебе нужны батарейки? - И свисток Гарри Поттера.
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,908 Черт, ты прав. Я не слишком-то милый.
00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:22,368 Остой. Я думал, что я классный.
00:11:22,368 --> 00:11:25,368 Юмьюлак, друг мой, признание того, что ты остойный,
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:27,418 это первый шаг к тому, чтобы стать лучше.
00:11:27,418 --> 00:11:30,628 Ладно, уродец, скажи мне уже, как лучше относиться к Джесси.
00:11:30,628 --> 00:11:33,168 Ну, мы обычно тусуемся с ней в ее любимом месте.
00:11:33,798 --> 00:11:35,798 Боже, это так глупо.
00:11:35,798 --> 00:11:38,298 Добро пожаловать в кафе пастеризованного йогурта от Пастера,
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,388 первое в мире кафе йогурта от Луи Пастера.
00:11:40,388 --> 00:11:42,308 Привет, Тодд. Ты подогреваешь молоко,
00:11:42,308 --> 00:11:43,848 чтобы его было безопасно пить, да?
00:11:43,848 --> 00:11:46,478 Это и есть пастеризация, приятель.
00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:49,688 Как нелепо. Джесси просто неудачница.
00:11:49,688 --> 00:11:50,978 Заткнись уже!
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,938 Я бы так и сказал. Ты прямо как я.
00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:55,818 Неправда. А теперь я покажу тебе, как быть милым.
00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,908 Аиша, дай-ка нам голограмму Джесси.
00:11:58,908 --> 00:12:00,328 Ладно.
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:03,158 Привет, Джесси. Приятно пахнешь.
00:12:03,158 --> 00:12:05,078 Давай попробуем вместе новые вкусы.
00:12:05,078 --> 00:12:06,408 Спасибо, лучший друг.
00:12:06,408 --> 00:12:08,578 Я хочу ананасовую прививку от кори.
00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:09,878 Умри! Я первый!
00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:13,508 Программа, стоп. Юм, дорогой, ты плохо себя ведешь.
00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:15,588 Ты правда думаешь, что кричать "умри" мило?
00:12:15,588 --> 00:12:16,968 - Да. - Нет, это мерзко.
00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:19,798 - Эй, ты меня обманул. - Ну ладно, давай начнем с основ.
00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:21,508 Просто попробуй улыбнуться ей.
00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:24,638 Да уж, ночка будет длинной.
00:12:24,638 --> 00:12:26,558 Кажется, нужна голограмма кофе.
00:12:29,268 --> 00:12:33,648 Почва, из которой мы вырастаем. Я не перестану восхищаться твоими тайнами.
00:12:33,648 --> 00:12:35,028 Вот задрот.
00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:37,318 Начинается перерыв на отдых.
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:40,028 Коллеги, я только что познакомился со специалистом по Пупе,
00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:41,988 и он... - Красавчик, он скажет красавчик.
00:12:41,988 --> 00:12:43,828 Идиот. Просто взгляните на это тупое лицо.
00:12:43,828 --> 00:12:45,658 Он вряд ли отличит комплекс флорвокс
00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:47,868 от фазового генератора гортрино.
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,128 Не-веро-ятно
00:12:51,998 --> 00:12:55,548 Погрузите вашу Пупу на сантиметр в краситель
00:12:55,548 --> 00:12:57,718 и оставьте окрашиваться на три часа.
00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:59,548 Как делишки, Тери? Я скучал.
00:12:59,548 --> 00:13:01,298 Ты ж моя маленькая крошка-картошка.
00:13:01,298 --> 00:13:03,928 Срань Господня, и это вторая половинка Терри?
00:13:03,928 --> 00:13:06,848 И ее тоже зовут Тери? Он про это ничего не рассказывал.
00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:09,348 Я только что познакомился с напарником по эвакуации.
00:13:09,348 --> 00:13:10,938 Полный зануда.
00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:13,568 Фигово, что я не могу взять тебя вместо его скучной плоской задницы.
00:13:13,568 --> 00:13:17,188 Номер 31827, тишина! И застегни верхнюю пуговицу!
00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:18,818 Но так я выгляжу круче!
00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:20,568 Единообразие - вот, что круто!
00:13:20,568 --> 00:13:23,578 Единообразие - это круто,
00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:25,078 единообразие - это круто.
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:28,118 Да, Джесси, выбрать ванильное - это нормально
00:13:28,118 --> 00:13:30,418 и вовсе не по-детски.
00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:33,668 Нет, нельзя... стой-ка, ты сделал это. Аиша, проанализируй на злой умысел.
00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:35,128 Злой умысел не обнаружен.
00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:37,168 - Я сделал это. - Поздравляю, Юмьюлак.
00:13:37,168 --> 00:13:39,088 За твою усердную работу я награждаю тебя
00:13:39,088 --> 00:13:40,968 этим стикером с твоим любимым Мстителем.
00:13:40,968 --> 00:13:42,798 Крутенько! Соколиный глаз!
00:13:42,798 --> 00:13:44,508 У него есть колчан. Его зовут Клинт.
00:13:44,508 --> 00:13:48,388 Моя суперсила - бить в цель. Целюсь в тебя. Или в тебя.
00:13:48,388 --> 00:13:50,938 - Сегодня будешь спать как убитый. - Целюсь в тебя...
00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:55,688 Когда в последний раз ты прибирался в Стене?
00:13:55,688 --> 00:13:59,318 Все стало супергрязным с тех пор, как они изобрели религию.
00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:01,398 Джесси, я хотел поздороваться с тобой
00:14:01,398 --> 00:14:03,908 и сказать, что твой бантик выглядит мило.
00:14:03,908 --> 00:14:05,368 Так, в чем подвох?
00:14:05,368 --> 00:14:06,788 Если так, скажи сразу.
00:14:06,788 --> 00:14:08,698 - Я просто хотел сделать тебе комплимент. - Правда?
00:14:08,698 --> 00:14:10,748 Да, и я его сделал. Пора валить, пока я все не испортил.
00:14:10,748 --> 00:14:12,368 Выглядишь круто, пока!
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,918 - Ты сукин сын! - Ага, а знаешь, кто ты?
00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,298 Ты полный отстой. - Ты хотел взять
00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:21,168 свою тупую вторую половинку на Землю?
00:14:21,168 --> 00:14:22,878 Ты думаешь, что Тери с одной "р" лучше меня?
00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:24,218 Ты сказал, что у меня лицо тупое
00:14:24,218 --> 00:14:25,678 и что я не знаю, что делать с Пупой.
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,888 Так ты и не знаешь!
00:14:31,888 --> 00:14:33,768 Я сделал это. Я был мил к Джесси.
00:14:33,768 --> 00:14:35,648 Я самый милый парниша на свете.
00:14:35,648 --> 00:14:37,648 - Это замечательно. - Спасибо тебе огромное,
00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:39,988 что потратил время, чтобы сделать меня лучше.
00:14:39,988 --> 00:14:41,948 И теперь я могу мило удалить твою задницу.
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,908 - Эй, удалять кого-то - это не мило. - Ага, знаю.
00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:47,078 Но я не хочу, чтобы Джесси узнала, что мне нужен тренер по милости.
00:14:47,078 --> 00:14:48,198 Так что вали в мусорку.
00:14:48,198 --> 00:14:50,038 Было приятно учить тебя.
00:14:50,038 --> 00:14:52,408 Знаешь, я вообще-то и у тебя кое-чему научился.
00:14:52,408 --> 00:14:53,868 - Правда? И чему же? - Как быть мудаком!
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:55,248 Хрен тебе!
00:15:01,878 --> 00:15:03,628 Боже мой! Какого черта?
00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:06,218 Наконец-то у Джесси будет брат, которого она заслуживает.
00:15:06,758 --> 00:15:08,848 Ну все, все, все.
00:15:08,848 --> 00:15:10,468 Хватит, решено. Нашему союзу конец.
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:11,678 - Да. - Когда вернемся в наше время,
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,638 я соберу вещи и перееду в Сан-Диего.
00:15:13,638 --> 00:15:16,268 Я сниму квартиру в Квартале Газовых Фонарей, буду есть рыбные тако
00:15:16,268 --> 00:15:17,728 и забуду о тебе. - Чем раньше, тем лучше.
00:15:17,728 --> 00:15:19,648 У нас все равно ничего хорошего бы не вышло.
00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:23,068 Посмотри, какие репликанты миленькие.
00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:24,608 Ага, и правда миленькие. Мы все миленькие.
00:15:24,608 --> 00:15:27,238 Только посмотри, два обычный инопланетянина со своими репликантами
00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:29,278 думают о том, как полетят в космос
00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:30,788 и терраформируют какую-нибудь луну.
00:15:30,788 --> 00:15:32,868 Мы и понятия не имели, во что ввязались.
00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:36,118 Знаешь, Терри, мы провели так много времени на Земле, притворяясь семьей,
00:15:36,118 --> 00:15:38,498 что я даже не заметили, как и правда ею стали.
00:15:38,498 --> 00:15:40,418 Я думаю, это произошло,
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:43,008 когда мы вместе посмотрели "Миссия невыполнима: Протокол Фантом".
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,338 Помнишь? Том Круз, ТК...
00:15:44,338 --> 00:15:45,968 Да, Терри, думаю, ты прав.
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:48,008 Нам понравился этот фильм. Нам всем.
00:15:48,008 --> 00:15:49,848 Эй, помнишь, как мы сделали настоящего Фанбакета,
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,638 который сошел с ума и напал на город?
00:15:51,638 --> 00:15:53,138 Да, точно. Это было потрясающе.
00:15:53,138 --> 00:15:54,768 А помнишь, когда мы сделали "мужиц каяберлогу"?
00:15:54,768 --> 00:15:56,848 Тебе пришлось закопать роботов на заднем дворе.
00:15:56,848 --> 00:15:58,188 А помнишь тот день,
00:15:58,188 --> 00:15:59,308 когда все стало мюзиклом?
00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:01,318 Или как мы объединились с Симпсонами,
00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:03,358 чтобы сыграть с монстрами из Space Jam?
00:16:03,358 --> 00:16:05,608 Знаешь, Терри, хоть мы и не выбирали друг друга,
00:16:05,608 --> 00:16:07,278 но мы построили хорошую жизнь.
00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:09,408 И я не хочу ее разрушать. - Я тоже, Корво.
00:16:09,908 --> 00:16:11,278 Срань Господня! - Эй!
00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:13,408 Уже получил фото моего холмика?
00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:14,538 Крутой, да?
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:15,708 В смысле не понравился?
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,038 Тебе не нужно фото моего гладкого холмика?
00:16:18,038 --> 00:16:19,208 Ты не заметил корочку?
00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:22,338 Это Ванбо! Что же нам делать?
00:16:22,338 --> 00:16:24,418 Это шанс все исправить. Побьем его временной палкой!
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,918 - Чем? - Ткни-Свое-Барахло-айзером.
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,298 А, точняк.
00:16:31,808 --> 00:16:32,678 Хватит!
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,178 Стоп, это то место, куда ты хотел меня отвести?
00:17:11,178 --> 00:17:13,598 Я думала, ты считаешь, что замороженый йогурт для нариков.
00:17:13,598 --> 00:17:16,638 Это да, но я веду себя мило с тобой. Значит, мы будем есть
00:17:16,638 --> 00:17:19,268 эти отвратительные холодные сопли, даже если они на вкус как грязь.
00:17:19,808 --> 00:17:21,728 С тобой все в порядке, Юмьюлак?
00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,228 Конечно. Становись в очередь передо мной.
00:17:23,228 --> 00:17:26,108 Я буду рад подержать твою сумочку, пока ты выбираешь вкус.
00:17:26,108 --> 00:17:28,448 - Ты предлагаешь подержать мою сумку? - Именно так.
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,318 - Пока я закажу первая? - Ага.
00:17:30,318 --> 00:17:32,988 Ну, ладненько. Звучит отлично.
00:17:32,988 --> 00:17:36,038 Только подожди секунду. Где-то здесь...
00:17:37,078 --> 00:17:39,328 Боже мой. Ты что творишь?
00:17:39,328 --> 00:17:40,868 Не волнуйтесь, это не мой брат.
00:17:40,868 --> 00:17:43,748 Это симуляция Палубы-воображатора, которая перенесла его сознание
00:17:43,748 --> 00:17:47,378 в напечатанное 3D-тело и пытается занять его место.
00:17:47,378 --> 00:17:50,548 За что, Джесси? Я же был... милым.
00:17:50,548 --> 00:17:52,218 Я звоню копам. Не шевелись.
00:17:53,638 --> 00:17:55,808 Ты превратила его в картридж для приставки.
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,308 - Просто забудьте все, что видели, сэр. - Не могу!
00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:00,098 Слишком необычно!
00:18:00,098 --> 00:18:04,108 Пожалуйста, очнись. Я сожалею, что создала Весельюлака.
00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:08,148 Иногда ты ведешь себя как придурок, но ты мой брат, и я люблю тебя.
00:18:08,148 --> 00:18:09,528 Приветик, Джесси.
00:18:09,528 --> 00:18:12,448 Продолжим наш спор о том, кто горячее: Пит или Гейл?
00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:14,988 Или можем порубиться в настолку, а потом потанцевать.
00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:18,328 Ты не Юмьюлак. Ты Весельюлак!
00:18:18,328 --> 00:18:20,618 Спасибо за твои сладкие поцелуйчики.
00:18:20,618 --> 00:18:24,498 Стоп, программа. О, Боже, я убила Юмьюлака.
00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:27,998 Я убила Юмьюлака и превратила его тело в картридж для приставки!
00:18:27,998 --> 00:18:31,678 Все, как в печеньке с предсказаниями!
00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:43,898 И кто теперь голубой Шрек, сучка?
00:18:43,898 --> 00:18:45,058 Надо избавиться от его тела.
00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:46,858 У тебя с собой штука, превращающая в картридж?
00:18:46,858 --> 00:18:49,478 Нет. Вечно ее нет, когда она так нужна.
00:18:54,158 --> 00:18:55,868 Помни, Терри, мы герои.
00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:01,288 - Мы сделали это. Ванбо исчез. - Мы починили временной поток.
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,038 Очень хорошо.
00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:09,088 Кажется, мы
00:19:09,088 --> 00:19:10,668 слегка видоизменили временной поток.
00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:12,548 Что ж, не все так плохо.
00:19:12,548 --> 00:19:14,588 Тут можно жить, пока рядом нет Ванбо.
00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:19,598 Здоро́во, ушлепки.
00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,348 Ванбо? Ты что тут делаешь?
00:19:21,348 --> 00:19:23,058 Твоя задница должна быть мертвее мертвого!
00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:25,688 Должна была быть мертвее мертвого. Но меня спасла
00:19:25,688 --> 00:19:29,518 и помогла восстановиться одна очень особая личность.
00:19:30,108 --> 00:19:31,358 Приветик, Терри.
00:19:31,358 --> 00:19:33,698 Тери с одной "р"? Какого черта ты тут делаешь?
00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:35,698 Теперь я научный партнер Ванбо.
00:19:35,698 --> 00:19:38,658 И теперь я больше не Тери с одной "р".
00:19:38,658 --> 00:19:41,748 Я Варбо, тоже с одной "р".
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:42,788 Черт, как же это круто.
00:19:42,788 --> 00:19:44,828 Мы искали вас двоих по всей галактике.
00:19:44,828 --> 00:19:48,378 Я знаю, что это вы побили меня своей временной палкой тогда на Шлорпе.
00:19:48,378 --> 00:19:50,418 Мы... мы не понимаем, о чем речь.
00:19:50,418 --> 00:19:52,548 У меня для вас важные новости.
00:19:52,548 --> 00:19:54,628 Шлорп не была уничтожена!
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,928 Что?
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,388 И я прилетел, чтобы забрать вас назад и передать суду
00:19:58,388 --> 00:20:01,768 для наказания за использование Ткни-Свое-Барахло-айзера
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,268 без лицензии!
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,098 - Что? - Терри, Корво.
00:20:05,098 --> 00:20:07,848 Я убила Юмьюлака и превратила его в картридж для приставки.
00:20:07,848 --> 00:20:10,108 Его больше нет. - Что?
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,148 А, и еще кое-что. После того, как мы все свалим,
00:20:12,148 --> 00:20:15,528 Я взорву эту идиотскую планету Землю,
00:20:15,528 --> 00:20:18,448 потому что это так по-Ванбовски.
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:21,078 Этого не может быть.
00:20:21,078 --> 00:20:23,538 Почему это происходит?
00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:25,538 Погодите-ка, она права!
00:20:25,538 --> 00:20:27,668 Этого происходить не может. - Но ведь происходит.
00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:30,378 Вам не кажется, что слишком много мозговыносящих событий разом?
00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:32,298 В плане, что жизнь не так устроена.
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:33,958 Нет ощущения реальности.
00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:35,968 Парниша потерял связь с миром. Все сюда,
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,838 сейчас он обделается. - Неужели, вы не понимаете?
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:40,428 Путешествия во времени, убитый Юмьюлак, Шлорп не взорвалась.
00:20:40,428 --> 00:20:42,178 Да ладно вам. Это уже перебор.
00:20:42,178 --> 00:20:43,428 Посчитай, слишком много всего.
00:20:43,428 --> 00:20:45,388 Тут и пальцев на руке не хватит!
00:20:45,388 --> 00:20:47,098 - И правда подозрительно. - Вот видишь?
00:20:47,098 --> 00:20:50,608 Откуда нам знать, что мы не в Матрице?
00:20:50,608 --> 00:20:52,358 Или в Матрице Перезагрузке?
00:20:52,358 --> 00:20:53,858 Вокруг бы кружились зеленые числа
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:55,738 и все ходили бы в очках. - Но должно же быть что-то.
00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,028 И я выясню, в чем дело.
00:20:57,028 --> 00:20:59,778 Или, может, мы в своего рода Экзистенции.
00:20:59,778 --> 00:21:02,158 Прекрати! На прошлой неделе ты тоже так думал,
00:21:02,158 --> 00:21:04,448 потому что нам положили дополнительную порцию картошки.
00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:06,828 Мы не можем прикрываться Экзистенцией по каждому поводу.
00:21:06,828 --> 00:21:08,578 Да что ты говоришь, умник. Разве у нас всегда были
00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:11,078 ботинки для путешествия во времени, чтобы отправиться куда угодно?
00:21:11,078 --> 00:21:12,668 Ты же всегда хотел знать все о Пупе.
00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:14,458 Почему же ты раньше не пользовался ботинками?
00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:16,208 Почему не пользовался ботинками раньше?
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,218 Я уверен, этому есть логическое объяснение.
00:21:18,218 --> 00:21:20,048 Нет никакого объяснения? Заткнись уже.
00:21:20,048 --> 00:21:23,348 Это какая-то странная хрень типа Странных Дней Других Испостасей Газонокосильщика
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,428 Хортона, слышащего ктошек.
00:21:24,428 --> 00:21:26,058 - Может, мы в "Троне"? - Не помогай ему.
00:21:26,058 --> 00:21:28,138 - Не похоже на "Трон". - Или, может, это сон?
00:21:28,138 --> 00:21:29,688 Вот это уже другой разговор.
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,898 Наверное, мы застряли в каком-то сне, как
00:21:32,898 --> 00:21:35,108 в "Начале", "Куда приводят мечты", "Иосиф и его удивительный
00:21:35,108 --> 00:21:36,568 разноцветный плащ снов".
00:21:36,568 --> 00:21:38,818 Чушь какая-то. Никому не запереть Корво во сне.
00:21:38,818 --> 00:21:40,858 В чьем тогда мы сне? Проснись, проснись.
00:21:40,858 --> 00:21:42,318 Хватит, прекращайте!
00:21:42,318 --> 00:21:43,828 - Ты должен проснуться. - Не трожь, Ванбо.
00:21:43,828 --> 00:21:44,738 Хватит. - Проснись.
00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:46,328 Давай же, Корво, проснись. Ты можешь.
00:21:46,328 --> 00:21:47,868 Хватит спать, Корво. Просыпайся!
00:21:47,868 --> 00:21:49,538 - Просыпайся, блин. - Я пытаюсь.
00:21:49,538 --> 00:21:51,418 Я пытаюсь. - Проснись!
00:21:51,418 --> 00:21:53,788 Ой, ребятки, и давно вы на Палубе-воображаторе?
00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:56,918 Ха, так и знал. Ничего из этого не было.
00:21:57,958 --> 00:22:00,838 Что за? Как Пупа постоянно достает свисток из "Гарри Поттера"?
00:22:00,838 --> 00:22:02,888 Я думал, мы хорошо его спрятали. - Как он его нашел?
00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:04,808 - Не смотрите так на меня. - Очевидно, что это ты дал.
00:22:04,808 --> 00:22:06,308 - Это не я. - Черт возьми, Терри.
00:22:06,308 --> 00:22:08,638 Хватит поднимать ложную тревогу из-за Пупы.
00:22:08,638 --> 00:22:10,728 Из-за тебя у меня мисизм. Мисистики выходят.
00:22:10,728 --> 00:22:12,598 Успокойся, все в порядке.
00:22:15,978 --> 00:22:18,938 - Странно, такого с ним еще не было. - Пупа, не делай так.
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,988 Думаешь, стоит рассказать Терри и Корво?
00:22:20,988 --> 00:22:22,448 Нет, они и так на взводе.
00:22:22,448 --> 00:22:24,948 А вдруг он эволюционирует и убьет всех нас?
00:22:24,948 --> 00:22:26,948 Ага, ну да. Из разряда фантастики.
00:22:29,828 --> 00:22:31,498 Увидимся в следующем сезоне.

00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:07,298 <i>You are no longer Abraham Lincoln, US president.</i>
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,260 <i>You are now Abraham Lincoln, car fighter.</i>
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,970 Fuck yes. Okay, let's go.
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,471 - Terry! - Can't talk, working out.
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,181 This is important. The-the-the Pupa turned orange.
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,517 And? Hey, you broke my Hulu Vizu!
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,854 The Pupa is not supposed to be orange. It's Pantone 101-C.
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,772 - What does it mean? - How the hell am I supposed to know?
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:26,276 Because it's your job, Terry. I fix the ship, you take care of the Pupa.
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,154 Right, yes, that is my job. Fair.
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,739 Once this thing evolves into its ultimate form,
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,407 it'll consume everything on this planet
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,284 and terraform it to become our new home world.
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,952 - Duh. - Which means we'll get eaten
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,829 and terraformed with everything else, I think.
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,415 What if it turning orange is the first step to total annihilation?
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,751 Wait, I-I-I think it feels hot. Is that important?
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,836 No, it's always hot. Luckily, I'm a genius
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,796 and suspected you were incapable of handling this
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,340 so I made a little card with important Pupa information on it.
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,593 I have it in my wallet. Just gotta find it.
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,552 Damn it, where did I put my--
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,096 when was the last time I needed Shlorpian money to pay for something?
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,848 Wa-wa-wa-was it at that Armenian deli?
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,475 Whoa, it was on Shlorp!
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,351 But the home world blew up in the opening credits.
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,563 Which leaves us no choice. I must use the Retrace-Your-Stepalizer
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,733 device to travel back in time, return to the home world,
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:07,942 and find my wallet.
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,236 Eh, I'm gonna pass. That sounds like a lot of work
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,864 and the Pupa's never killed everybody on Earth before, so...
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,991 - Oh, it's gonna blow! - Ah!
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:21,164 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,458 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,668 <i>and escaped into, uh, the space,</i>
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,755 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,591 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already over-populated planet.</i>
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,301 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,095 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,930 <i>This is, this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,890 <i>Do you see me? This is ridiculous.</i>
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,892 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.</i>
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,686 <i>People are stupid. Where the fuck are all the dinosaurs?</i>
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438 <i>What did they do to all the dinosaurs?</i>
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,991 So, uh, where's the retruce-von-something geyser?
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,077 Does it look like a spaceship with a big clock on the back?
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,037 The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer. It's high-tech shoes
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,872 that allow the wearer to travel back in time
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,415 to places they've stood in the past.
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,501 These things cost $11 billion a shoe.
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:07,961 - Do they light up? - Mine do.
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:11,089 - Oh, why do you get the cool ones? - Because I'm in charge.
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,134 The Retrace-Your-Stepalizer has a specific set of instructions.
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,302 Failure to comply could result in catastrophic outcomes
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,596 for the space-time continuum. Do you understand, Terry?
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,723 - Shoes with rules. Got it. - Rule number one.
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,684 While using the Retrace-Your-Stepalizers,
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,019 no one in the past will be able to see or hear us.
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,773 Two, we can only stay in the past for eight hours or we'll turn into slime.
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,733 Three, we can't learn anything new...
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,237 <i>Note to self, the pretzel bite is the most underrated appetizer.</i>
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,115 <i>Someone should say something to whoever is making those menus.</i>
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,367 <i>Those pesky menus. Some of them are too long.</i>
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,786 <i>Too many items. That's why I don't eat Chinese.</i>
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,037 <i>-No other reason--</i> - Are you listening to me?
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,289 Yeah, yeah, slime, keep going.
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,377 Jesse, ugh, you left the Pretend-O-Deck open again.
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,506 <i>Welcome back to the Pretend-O-Deck, Yumyulack.</i>
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,842 Hey, Aisha, play the last program that Jesse was running.
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:58,136 <i>Well, that's an invasion of her privacy, don't you think?</i>
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,763 Yeah, that's why it's gonna be awesome. Override protocol.
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,266 Panera Bread with 3's for the E's.
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,644 <i>Override accepted. Resuming last program, you little creep.</i>
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:09,189 Hello, Jesse, I'm Funyulack.
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,816 Want to continue our awesome makeover montage?
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,610 We left off on a cowboy outfit.
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,237 What the hell is this? What are you supposed to be?
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,239 I'm Funyulack. I'm exactly like you,
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,284 but funner and nicer and I know how to braid and bake bread.
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,912 Jesse's got a nicer me in here? That's impossible.
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,497 Every time I walk into a room, someone says, "Oh, great."
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,875 Well, Jesse thinks you're a dick. She said one time--
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,920 <i>He tried to trade me to a witch for a PS4.</i>
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,463 Yeah, but she wouldn't take the deal.
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,507 You can't complain about almost being traded to a witch.
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,760 <i>He makes fun of the way I walk and breathe.</i>
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,511 Come on.
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,640 Have you ever watched her walk? It's all clop, clop, clop, gasp, gasp.
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,558 I like the way she walks. Shoot me.
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,061 - I think it's elegant. - Then why don't you two get married?
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,146 - I wish. - Gross!
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,607 This is messed up. I'm super nice.
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,694 I guess I'll have to force Jesse to like me with Craig T. and Nelson.
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,489 Rule 58, don't fall in love with anyone in the past
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,491 or we'll turn into slime. Are you sleeping?
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,076 Uh, don't touch anything or we turn into slime.
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,578 I wish I could touch stuff in the past, but it-it doesn't work like that.
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,372 - It's more like we're ghosts. - Uh, well then,
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,748 how are we getting your wallet?
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,251 We'll have to use the Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,755 Wow, that came from the homeworld?
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,925 Uh, kind of just looks like a stick with a spork.
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,885 You know, you're supposed to get a license to use one of these,
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,929 but that office blew up, so we should be fine.
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,265 And now, it's time to retrace our steps.
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,620 Beautiful Shlorp.
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,581 Oh, how I've missed this wonderful strict totalitarian place.
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,458 A lot smaller than I remember.
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,961 Ah, I never thought I'd see my old quarters again.
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,879 Oh, God, I made love to a lot of equations in here.
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,506 Oh, you fucked math? Rad.
00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,882 It's young you.
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,218 Damn, girl, you used to be way skinnier.
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:07,223 Oh, seriously, stand next to yourself. See the difference. You have let yourself go!
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,808 Look, you left the wallet on the table.
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,810 Oh, that's perfect, Terry. I will now use the stick
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,187 to hit the wallet into our ship at the space port.
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,441 It should then be in the ship when we return to the present.
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,152 Are you missing on purpose just to make me giggle?
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,361 - Stop watching me. - It's working.
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,529 Don't watch me do this.
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,617 Oh, hello, little one.
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,329 Would you like a stale cookie from a rusty tin?
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,207 Where am I? Are we dead?
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,584 Good afternoon, Lorraine. - Ah!
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,879 I know that you've lost many things over the years.
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,715 Your children moved away. Your husband is gone.
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,592 Even your friends have died.
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,262 All you have left are your memories.
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,889 This is your chance, Lorraine.
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,559 I can access your mind and show you anything you've ever seen.
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,395 Is there something you've lost that you can't remember
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,147 which I can give you?
00:05:56,272 --> 00:06:02,487 I can't remember the face of my mother. I just wish I could see her one last time.
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,162 Everyone is so relaxed even though they're about to explode.
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:14,415 Truly the mark of an advanced society. Except for the panic zones.
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,958 I have resigned myself to death,
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,252 although I will miss my friends and family when I'm gone.
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,796 Oof, that guy's embarrassing himself.
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,798 Hey, we're almost at the space port.
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,425 We just need to smack this bad boy into the hatch and we'll be done.
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,843 You got this, boy!
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,637 Damn it!
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,681 Hey, mission accomplished. Now let's get back.
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,975 I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,440 Finally, some answers about the Pupa. All right.
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,443 If your Pupa turns orange, it means it ate something orange.
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,029 Well, I did feed it a bag of Doritos Cheetos party blast.
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,990 You know, the same stuff that turned me orange when I ate it last year.
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,410 This is a relief. We aren't going to get consumed by the Pupa,
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,787 at least not today, and we changed the past without creating
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,998 a single unintended butterfly effect. So we really slam dunked it.
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,626 - Look at us, we're ballers. - We are ballers, ho ho.
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,338 Hey, futtbuckers! Ha ha! We're outta Stella.
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,468 Is somebody gonna go, uh, replenish?
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,928 Wait, what? Who the fuck are you?
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555 Holy shit, there's an alien in our house!
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,473 Quit jerking around. You two have chores to do.
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,059 Help me organize all my vests and fingerless gloves.
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,854 I thought you said everyone got exploded.
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,856 Who are you and what are you doing in our house?
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,649 What are you talking about? I'm Vanbo.
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,609 We escaped Shlorp together, remember?
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,404 Vanbo? Am I saying that right? Vanbo?
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,030 - Eeesh. - Whoa, Korvo!
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,199 You really put on the pounds, pal.
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,742 You're lookin' like a blue Shrek.
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,412 Where's your donkey at, blue Shrek?
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,666 Oh, and Terry, I broke your PS4 because I tried to cook a little pizza in it.
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,502 Hey, I just got that from a witch. You son of a--aah!
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,005 Okay, what the shit is going on?
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,090 We must have inadvertently changed something in the past,
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,551 resulting in us now being in a dark, deviant time stream.
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,220 One of the results being that Vanbo apparently joined us on our mission
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,222 and has been living with us this whole time.
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,516 Hey, man, I-I-I can't live with a dude this basic.
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,811 I bet he has a true crime podcast. Like he does one.
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,063 Listening, cool. Doing one, yee-hee.
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,232 We have to go back to the past and undo the wallet change,
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,359 which should return us to the correct time stream.
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,360 And that'll get rid of Vanbo?
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,738 In the previous time stream, Vanbo surely died on Shlorp.
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,283 So yes, but this isn't about Vanbo. This is about fixing the time stream.
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,994 Yeah, yeah, the time stream is the priority, but you're sure Vanbo will die?
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,246 Yes, his body will be vaporized by the asteroid.
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,998 - We're-we're heroes. - Terry, get in the kitchen
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,500 and make me a lean pork sandwich!
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,460 Quick, come on, go, let's go.
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,424 There's our stick.
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,468 Now all we have to do is hit the wallet back out.
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,596 That should undo the changes to the time stream.
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,431 - We're heroes. - Total heroes.
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,812 So, Jesse, tell me about your day, or something?
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,356 - Really? - Mm, yes.
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,399 - Well, I found out Lawrence started-- - Who cares?
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,444 Jeez Louise, are you on your zeriod or something?
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,112 Yeah, but it has nothing to do with it.
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,614 I just want you to like me without earning it.
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,074 I want unconditional like.
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,577 Wait, you care if I like you? That is so sweet.
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,163 No, I just, I just, I don't want to worry about you
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,333 zapping me in the back with a crazy sci-fi gun when I piss you off.
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,919 - What are you even talking about? - Ah, I don't know! Fuck you!
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,338 Uh, phone call for drama queen!
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,551 Vanbo? Is there anyone named Vanbo here?
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,511 - Looking for a Vanbo. - What? No.
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,929 - Yes, yes, yes, all right. - Yeah! Yeah-yee!
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,597 He's out running an errand.
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,475 Hey-o, Vanbo's back!
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,186 Great news. I traded the gold-making machine
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,063 for these expensive rats.
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,233 See? They love you already.
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,901 Check it out. Give 'em a little kiss.
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,572 Fuck you.
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,991 We can't go back to the present until we figure out
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,201 how the hell Vanbo keeps surviving planetary destruction.
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,078 I, I don't even remember living with the guy.
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,247 Man, who thought time travel would be so convoluted?
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,374 Time travel should be clear and linear. This isn't my fault.
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:44,750 Well, it's not my fault.
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,838 Oh, look, hey, it's the past us meeting for the first time. Aw, look at that.
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,673 I am pleased to embark on this mission with you.
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,092 I assume you love science and worship at the altar of logic.
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,885 Hell yeah. Science rules.
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:59,015 I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert. I know everything about the Pupa.
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,225 Terry, you follow past me, and I will follow past you.
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,560 No, I wanna follow past me.
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,353 Terry, since neither of us remember meeting Vanbo,
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,689 we must both be outside observers for the other.
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,775 - I will see you at the space port. - All right, sounds good.
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,906 I'm young again.
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,410 Honey, can you help me unload these groceries from the Piggly Wiggly?
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,537 Mama, you're so beautiful.
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,998 Aw, that's a nice thing to say.
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,042 I've missed you so much.
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,337 Come, run with me.
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,694 Oh, my sweet mother. Now that I remember her face,
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,572 I'll be able to find her when I'm in heaven.
00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,451 I can die now knowing that everything will be okay.
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:05,790 Oh, thank you. There has to be some way I can repay you for this.
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,626 In my kitchen, there's a cabinet with a child-proof lock.
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,712 Inside are two AA batteries and a <i>Harry Potter</i> whistle.
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,172 Get them for me.
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,926 - You want batteries? - And a <i>Harry Potter</i> whistle.
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,264 Oh, man, you were right. I'm not nice. This sucks. I thought I was great.
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:27,311 Yumyulack, my friend, recognizing you suck is the first step towards de-suckifying.
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,523 Okay, fuckface, tell me how to be nice to Jesse and do it yesterday.
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,150 Well, we usually just hang out at her favorite place.
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,695 Oh, my God, this is so dumb.
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,197 Welcome to the Pasteur Pasteurized Yogurt Parlor,
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,366 the world's first Louis Pasteur-themed yogurt shop.
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,744 Sup, Todd? You flash heating that milk so it's safe to drink, yo?
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,706 That's what pasteurization is, my man.
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,667 This is so rich. Jesse is such a loser.
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,960 - Shut your fucking mouth! - A-ha!
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,962 That's something I would say. You are like me.
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,715 I am not. Now, I'm gonna show you how to be nice.
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,926 Aisha, give us a little Jesse hologram up in this business.
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,302 <i>Okay.</i>
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,055 Hey, Jesse. You smell great today.
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141 Why don't we all sample some flavors together?
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,477 Thanks, best friend. I wanna try Measles Inoculation Pineapple.
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,854 Die! Me first!
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,399 Freeze program. Yum, baby, you are so not money right now.
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,943 Do you really think it was nice telling her to die?
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,111 - Yes. - No, it was mean.
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,947 - Hey, you tricked me! - Okay, let's go back to the basics.
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,490 Just try smiling at her.
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,662 Oh, this is gonna be a long night. We better put on a pot of hologram coffee.
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,205 <i>Mm-hmm.</i>
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:33,544 Oh, soil, the womb in which we grow. Your secrets never cease to delight me.
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,962 Oof, what a dork.
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,214 <i>Work relaxation period commencing.</i>
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,925 Work colleagues, I just met my assigned Pupa specialist,
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,886 - and he is-- - Handsome, he's gonna say handsome.
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,721 An idiot. Just look at that stupid face.
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,556 He probably doesn't even know his florvox array
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,767 from his gortrino phase oscillatorr.
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,102 Un-believ-able.
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,441 Place your Pupa in a one-centimeter-deep pool of pigment
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,610 and let it ink itself for three hours.
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,445 What up, Teri? I missed you, babe.
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,280 Missed you, little boo-boo. You're my boo-boo girl.
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,824 Good grief, that smokeshow is Terry's life mate?
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,827 And its name is also Teri? How has he never mentioned this?
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,790 Oh, man, I just met my evacuation partner. Total derf.
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,501 Sucks that I can't take you instead of his boring, flat ass.
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,171 Number 31827, be quiet! Also, button your top button.
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,798 But I look way cooler this way.
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,549 Conformity is cool!
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:25,054 Conformity is cool, conformity is cool, conformity is cool.
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,015 Yes, Jesse, your choice of vanilla is fine
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,309 and not for babies.
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,604 No, you can't--wait, you did it. Aisha, analyze malice.
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,022 <i>No malice detected.</i>
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,066 - I did it. - Congratulations, Yumyulack.
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,984 For all your hard work, I'd like to reward you
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,945 with this sticker of your favorite Avenger.
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,696 Ooh, hell yeah! Hawkeye!
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,406 He's got a quiver. His real name is Clint.
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,285 Whoo, my superpower is aim. Aim at you, aim at you.
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,913 - You're gonna sleep like a log tonight. - Aim at you, aim at you...
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,165 Oh, ew.
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,626 When's the last time you cleaned out the Wall?
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:59,213 It's been getting super gross in there ever since they invented religion.
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:03,884 Jesse, hello. I wanted to greet you and tell you that your bow looks nice.
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,261 It--wait, is this a trap?
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,762 Because you have to tell me if it's a trap.
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,597 - I came in here to compliment you. - You did?
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,641 Yes, and I did it. Gotta go before I mess it up.
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,601 You look great, bye!
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,815 - You son of a bitch. - Oh, yeah, well guess what?
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,191 - You suck. - You wanted to bring
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,776 your stupid life mate to Earth, huh?
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,862 You-you think Teri with an "I" is better than me?
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,196 You think I have a stupid face
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,906 and that I don't know what I'm doing with the Pupa.
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,867 - You don't!
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,664 Well, I did it. I was nice to Jesse.
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,541 I'm the nicest motherfucker you've ever met.
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,543 - This is wonderful. - Thank you so, so much
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,879 for spending all that time making me a better alien.
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,839 And now that I'm nice, I can delete your ass.
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,883 - Hey, deleting someone isn't nice. - Yeah, I know.
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,969 But I never want Jesse to find out that I needed training wheels for this stuff.
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,178 So you gotta get trashed.
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,930 Well, it was a pleasure teaching you.
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,391 You know, I actually learned something from you, too.
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,351 - Oh, yeah, what was that? - How to be a dick!
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,394 Eat my finger!
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,527 <i>Oh, my God! What the heck?</i>
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,196 Jesse's finally getting the brother she deserves.
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,741 All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,284 Enough, we're done. The partnership is over.
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,869 - Agreed. - When we get back to our time,
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,537 I'm packing up and moving to San Diego.
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,165 I'll rent a condo in the Gaslamp and eat fish tacos every day
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,791 - and never think of you. - The sooner the better.
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,377 You and I have never done anything good together.
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,005 Oh, wow, look how cute the replicants are.
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,673 Oh, they really are. We're all cute.
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,134 Would you look at us? Two regular aliens with their replicants
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,178 thinking that they're gonna go out into space
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,763 and terraform a rogue moon or something.
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,765 We had no idea what we were in for.
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,018 You know, Terry, we spent so much time on Earth pretending to be a family,
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,479 I didn't even notice when we actually became one.
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,356 Yeah, I think we sealed the deal on that
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,942 when we all saw <i>Ghost Protocol.</i>
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,234 You remember? Tom Cruise? TC?
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,861 Terry, I think you're right.
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,905 We all really liked that movie. Together.
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,823 Hey, remember when we made a real Funbucket
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,575 and it went crazy and attacked the town?
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,118 <i>Oh, yeah, yeah, that was awesome.</i>
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,745 <i>Hey, how about when we built the "manc ave"?</i>
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,747 <i>You had to bury the cuck robot in the backyard.</i>
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,165 <i>He loved it. Or remember that day</i>
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,541 <i>when everything was a musical?</i>
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,502 <i>Yeah, or what about when we teamed up with the Simpsons</i>
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,337 <i>for a game against the Monstars from</i> Space Jam<i>?</i>
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,673 You know, we may not have chosen each other, Terry,
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,174 but we've built a good life.
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,802 - I don't want to throw that away. - Neither do I, Korvo.
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,178 - Holy shit! - Hey.
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,305 Did you peep that photo of my mound I sent you?
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,431 Pretty tight, right?
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,808 What do you mean you hated it?
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,935 You don't want a photo of my tiny, hairless mound?
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,186 Didn't you see the crust?
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,398 There's Vanbo! What-what-what do we do?
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,358 This is our chance to set things right. Hit him with the time stick!
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,110 - The what now? - The Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer.
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,277 Oh, duh, yeah, right.
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,654 Huh?
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,658 Stop it!
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,071 Wait, this is where you wanna take me?
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,574 I thought you said frozen yogurt was ice cream for narcs.
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,535 Ooh, it is, but now I'm nice to you, which means eating
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,788 disgusting cold slime even if it tastes like dust.
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,623 Are you feeling okay, Yumyulack?
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,417 Oh, yeah, please, go ahead of me in line.
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,086 I would be happy to hold your purse while you sample some flavors.
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,338 - You're offering to hold my purse? - Correct.
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,215 - While I go first? - Of course.
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,968 Well, okay, that sounds great.
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,013 Let me just, uh, here, it's in here...
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,224 Oh, my God. What's wrong with you?
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,018 Don't worry, that's not my brother.
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,854 It's a Pretend-O-Deck simulation that's transferred his consciousness
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:47,357 - to a 3 - D printed body and is trying to take his place.
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,360 Jesse, why? I was... nice.
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,279 I'm calling the police. Don't move.
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,699 You turned him into a Game Boy cartridge.
00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,079 - Just forget what you saw here, sir. - I can't! It's so specific!
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,083 Uh, please wake up. I'm so sorry I created Funyulack.
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:08,128 You can be kind of a jerk sometimes but you're my brother and I love you.
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,379 - Mwah. Bleh. - Hi, Jesse.
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,299 Would you like to continue our discussion of who is hotter, Peeta or Gale?
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,968 Or we could play <i>Mall Madness</i> and practice our dance moves.
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,305 You're not Yumyulack. You're Funyulack!
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,516 Thank you for those sweet, sweet kisses.
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:24,394 Freeze program, freeze program. Oh, God, no, I killed Yumyulack.
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,190 I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge!
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,652 Just like that fortune cookie said I would!
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,872 Who's a blue Shrek now, bitch?
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,249 We gotta get rid of this body, man.
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,292 Do you have the thing that turns them into Game Boy cartridges?
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,545 Ah, no, I never bring it when I end up needing it.
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,010 Remember, Terry, we're heroes.
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,181 - We did it, Vanbo's gone. - We repaired the time stream.
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,891 Hey, yeah!
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,017 This is very good.
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,981 - Huh. - It appears we may have
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,024 slightly altered the time stream.
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,568 Um, well, it's not so bad.
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,571 I mean, I can live with this as long as Vanbo's not around.
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,575 Hello, futtbuckers.
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,036 Vanbo? What are you doing here? Your ass should be dead as hell!
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,581 Should be dead as hell. But I was rescued
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,501 and nursed back to health by a very special person.
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,336 Hey, Terry.
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,672 Teri with an "I"? What the heck are you doing here?
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,591 I'm Vanbo's science partner now.
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,677 And my name's not Teri with an "I" anymore.
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,638 Mm-mm, it's Vanbi, also spelled with an "I."
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,764 Fuck, that's so cool.
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,725 We've been searching the galaxy for you two.
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:48,145 I know you guys attacked me with your time stick on Shlorp.
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,397 We, uh, we-we don't know what you're talking about.
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,610 I have some important news to tell you. Shlorp never blew up!
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,903 What?
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,280 And I've come to take both of you back so you can be tried
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,658 and executed for using a Retouch-Your-Stuff-Alizer
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,243 without a license!
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,078 - What? - Terry, Korvo.
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,956 I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge.
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,083 - He's gone forever. What?
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,002 Oh, and one more thing. After we all leave,
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,505 I'm gonna blow up this stupid fucking Earth planet
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,342 just because that's how Vanbo do.
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,969 This can't be happening!
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,430 Why, why is this happening.
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,474 Wait! She's right.
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,768 - This can't be happening. - But it is.
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,270 Doesn't it seem like too many big crazy events all at once?
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,189 I mean, that-that's not how life works, man.
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,941 No, no, no. This doesn't feel real.
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,859 Ooh, this guy's lost it. Everybody gather around.
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,736 - Let's watch him shit his pants. - Don't you see?
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,322 The time travelling, dead Yumyulack, Shlorp didn't explode.
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,115 I mean, come on. That's like--it's so much stuff.
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,325 Think about it. That's, like, way too much.
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,369 If you had a list, it's too much!
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,079 - It is sort of contrived. - Right?
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:50,499 I mean, how are we sure that we're not in a <i>The Matrix</i>?
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,959 or a <i>Matrix Reloaded</i>?
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,711 Because there would be green numbers floating around and leather sunglasses.
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,089 Well, it's gotta be something. Okay, and I can figure this out.
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,758 I mean, we could be in an <i>eXistenZ</i>-type sitch.
00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:02,052 Stop it! Last week, you thought we were in an <i>eXistenZ</i>
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,346 because the drive-thru gave us an extra order of fries.
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,723 We can't be in an <i>eXistenZ</i> every time you're freaking out.
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,475 Oh, really, smart guy? You're telling me
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,978 we have time travelling shoes that we can use whenever we want?
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,562 You're always wanting to know stuff about the Pupa.
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,439 Why haven't you been using those shoes, man?
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,066 Why haven't you been using the shoes?
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,151 I-I-I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that.
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,028 No, there isn't, okay? Shut the fuck up.
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,407 We've gotta be in some fucked up <i>Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man</i>
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,408 <i>Horton Hears a Who</i> thing.
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,159 - Maybe we're in a <i>Tron.</i> - Don't egg him on.
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,120 - This isn't a <i>Tron.</i> - Ooh, maybe we're in a dream.
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,663 Now you're talking.
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,874 I mean, I-I-I-I bet we're all in some kind of crazy <i>Dreamscape-</i> style
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,043 <i>Inception What Dreams May Come Joseph and the Amazing</i>
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,503 <i>Technicolor Dreamcoat</i> dream.
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:38,714 That's impossible. Nobody traps Korvo in a dream.
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,757 Whose dream are we in, huh? Wake up, wake up.
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,301 Stop that, cut it out!
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,719 - You have to wake up. - Don't touch me, Vanbo.
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,720 - Stop it. - Wake up.
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,305 Wake up, Korvo, come on. You can do it.
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,764 Stop sleeping, Korvo. Wake up!
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,433 - Damn it, wake up. - I'm trying.
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,393 - I'm trying! - Wake up!
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:54,187 Oh, uh, how long have you guys been on the Pretend-O-Deck?
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,149 Ha, I knew it. None of that stuff happened.
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,736 What the? How does the Pupa keep getting that <i>Harry Potter</i> whistle?
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,779 - I thought we locked it up. - How does he keep getting that thing?
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,906 - Don't everybody look at me. - You obviously gave it to him.
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,199 - I did not. - Damn it, Terry.
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,702 You've gotta stop raising false alarms about the Pupa.
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,746 You're making me gooble. I'm-I'm gooblering.
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,497 Uh, okay, all right.
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,837 - Weird, he's never done that before. - Pupa, stop that.
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,881 Do you think we should tell Terry and Korvo?
00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:22,341 No, they're already all wound up.
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,926 But what if he evolves and kills all of us?
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,471 Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen.
00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,975 See you next season, everyone.
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:52,579 <i>Terry!</i>
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:16,937 <i>Terry!</i>
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,195 <i>Terry!</i>
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:42,254 Hulu. Hulu. Hu-lu.

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