Apple Pencil Pro — В магазине Apple команда пришельцев встречает чудовище-свинью, которая обвиняет их в своих мучениях. Инопланетян отправляют в тюрьму. На деле же пришельцев подставили. Им мстит учительница, которой ранее репликанты заменили кости на металлические как у Росомахи. В Стене в это время Халк находит убийцу и приводит его к правителю Стены Тиму. Тим же рассказывает Халку про убийство Шерри и про выход из Стены. Халк должен решить, как распорядиться этой информацией. Он принимает решение скрыть правду от народа и подыграть Тиму.

Предыдущая серия S02 E05 Удивительный потрясающий луч

Следующая серия S02 E07 Маловероятная кончина любимой рюмки Терри

Apple Pencil Pro

The Apple Pencil Pro

Сезон: 02Серия: 06

Описание

В магазине Apple команда пришельцев встречает чудовище-свинью, которая обвиняет их в своих мучениях. Инопланетян отправляют в тюрьму. На деле же пришельцев подставили. Им мстит учительница, которой ранее репликанты заменили кости на металлические как у Росомахи. В Стене в это время Халк находит убийцу и приводит его к правителю Стены Тиму. Тим же рассказывает Халку про убийство Шерри и про выход из Стены. Халк должен решить, как распорядиться этой информацией. Он принимает решение скрыть правду от народа и подыграть Тиму.

Субтитры

00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,718 This place is amazing.
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,554 How do they keep incrementally improving products year after year?
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,723 The Apple Pencil Pro is far superior
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,808 to last year's disgusting obsolete Apple Pencil.
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,352 The new one can write in cursive.
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,979 I literally saw Emily Dickinson writing poetry with it,
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:23,524 in the Apple TV+ show <i>Dickinson</i> on my Apple TV.
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,109 They have a YouTube branded Wi-Fi router.
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,402 Wow! It's red!
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,112 For every four bars of signal you get,
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,323 Bono sends a pair of shoes to a sea turtle.
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,950 Hey. You looking for a repair or...
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,285 Fetch me an Apple Pencil Pro, Apple servant.
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,246 You got it. You want a charging necklace too?
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,248 The pencil runs out of batteries very fast.
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:40,457 (SCREAMS)
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,001 - Get away from me! - Oh, my God, Pete. You okay?
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,088 These are the psycho aliens that tortured me in their dungeon.
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,882 That's impossible. We turned our dungeon into a Florida room.
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,968 We've never even met this fucking freak show.
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,636 - Hello, sir. - Don't touch me!
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,346 Siri, call the cops.
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,515 <i>Playing Destiny's Child.</i>
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,479 That's them.
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,652 He doesn't have a hole.
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,445 We'll just have to make one.
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,572 Hey, how's it going?
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,994 The Solar Opposites are going to jail.
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:22,332 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,085 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants</i>
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,504 <i>were issued a Pupa and escaped into the space,</i>
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,215 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,802 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,679 <i>That's right. I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,472 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,391 <i>This is my show. I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,226 <i>Do you see me? This is ridiculous.</i>
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,563 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,315 <i>Do they like Brendan Fraser or not?</i>
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,983 <i>He's a good guy. Give him a chance.</i>
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,580 Chris Zakowski, 35.
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,498 Mandy Sinclair, 28.
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,709 Jeffrey Dean Dorgan, 33.
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,212 Agnes Peterboard, 75 years old.
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,255 Tomorrow would have been her birthday.
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,133 Cool list, bro. I take my coffee with a splash of mouse milk.
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:16,094 Maybe you don't understand what's happening here. You're done.
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,513 I know you killed them.
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:20,557 I was an executive story editor on <i>Bones</i> Seasons Five through Nine.
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:24,061 And let me tell you, friend, that's a season wrap on Ethan.
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,105 You never even got a bump to co-producer? Pathetic.
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,441 I bet they just stuck you in the <i>Bones</i> joke room.
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,985 We didn't have a joke room. It was an innuendo room,
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,820 and I was only there for the back nine.
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,699 If you ever want to see the halogen reptile lamp
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,285 that Yumyulack uses to simulate the light of day again,
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,954 you better start cooperating.
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,372 (YAWNS)
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,831 Buddy, you got it all wrong.
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,334 I'm gonna be walking out of here and you're not.
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,962 You think Tim and the Walldermen are just gonna let you go?
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:54,466 Oh, yeah, babe. Without me, Tim is nothing. Nada, zero, zilch.
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,551 Oh, wow!
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:58,178 I didn't realize I was talking to someone so important.
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:02,015 You think Jesse gives us Clif Bars, chewable Tylenol and Dasani water?
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:06,812 Come on. All that protein and medicine that you're used to, this guy.
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,606 So, I'm supposed to believe you're killing people during the week,
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,234 then turning big and running errands on the weekends?
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,652 Oh, my God, you're so stupid.
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,904 Listen. There is a hole in the top of The Wall.
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,823 It's been there since before the war.
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,033 The Duke would use it to bring in extra supplies
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,785 to keep control of the population.
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,037 A top secret hole that we could use to escape, huh?
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,790 You have quite the imagination, murderer.
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,625 Broheim had an Amazon Fresh subscription.
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,503 They'd throw deliveries on the roof and I'd climb out to get them.
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:34,339 Now I do the same thing for my close personal friend, Tim.
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,425 I'm sick of this bullshit!
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,845 There's no hole in The Wall, and I won't let you drag Tim's good name.
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,138 In the before-before-time,
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,682 I was a rock climbing instructor at Bally's Total Fitness.
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:44,808 Outside The Wall,
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,519 the only thing I used to murder was indoor climbing walls.
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:48,729 And I care why?
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,356 Once I got in here, it's so much temptation.
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,027 You know, so many potential victims and no rock climbing to distract me.
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,071 At first, I was going to kill myself. That way I wouldn't murder anyone.
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,574 But then you saved me.
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,993 - What? - You don't remember, do you?
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,288 I'm the one who started the flooding of the Nerds.
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,586 <i>My plan was to die in that Nerd pile</i>
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,546 <i>and finally escape my impulses.</i>
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,593 <i>But then, you saved me.</i>
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,352 - Oh, my God. - That's when I knew I was special.
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,812 You saved me so I could fulfil my destiny.
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,106 -(LAUGHS) I'm a god. - Shut up.
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,316 I'm a god!
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,318 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,779 - MAN: Let's go. Let's do this. - Well, that's my ride.
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,241 Let's say there is some big conspiracy to help you kill innocent people.
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,327 But now you've told me the whole plan, Mr. Total Fitness,
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,662 so what happens next?
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,747 I don't know. They'll probably kill you,
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,666 - and then blame it on a cricket. - What?
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,709 How the hell do you know about the cricket?
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,962 These guys aren't exactly creative geniuses.
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,422 They always just blame it on a cricket.
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,384 Has anyone mistreated you here?
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,594 I'm not saying anything until our lawyer gets here.
00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:05,848 Oh, my God. I'm your lawyer. How many times must we go over this?
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,724 Objection overruled, I rest my case.
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,103 This isn't even a trial. Forget it. Let me walk you through the accusations.
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,522 And I gotta say they seem very specific.
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,275 According to Peter, the Okja-type character,
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,318 this all started off when Korvo got annoyed
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:22,322 at an annual ribfest-styled block party on the street outside your house.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,911 Pupa, put those ribs down.
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,621 Goddammit, I hate this stupid ribfest.
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,915 There's nowhere to park, they play rib-jams all day,
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,751 and some guy who is not me always wins the best ribs competition.
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,545 Why can't Korvo be a winner for once?
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,673 You know, Korvo, you can take some barbecue classes at The Learning Annex,
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,509 or watch some YouTube videos, chef-nap Paula Deen.
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:45,220 Kidnapping people takes too long. I'll just use sci-fi shit.
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:47,931 LAWYER: <i>The prosecution claims Korvo created a giant pig thing</i>
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,018 <i>that self-cooked racks of award-winning ribs out of its chest,</i>
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,604 <i>whose blood tasted like delicious barbecue sauce,</i>
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,939 <i>and when struck, shat out all the fixins.</i>
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,400 KORVO: <i>Damn it. That sounds like something I would do.</i>
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,902 <i>Right down to the fixin' shits.</i>
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:03,030 Where am I? What am I? Are you my dad?
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,449 Help! No!
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:06,617 (GROANS)
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,535 - Mmm! That's good rib. -(GASPS)
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,454 Could use a little barbecue sauce, though.
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:11,872 Oh, no!
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,374 LAWYER: <i>Korvo won five straight ribfest gold medals,</i>
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:18,003 <i>dethroning Lizzo's cousin Ribo as the ribfest champion.</i>
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,087 Please let me go.
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:22,257 I need a potluck-worth of your shit for a church event tonight.
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:25,344 Korvo, wait. I need Peter to help me with my math homework.
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,679 He's not gonna be able to focus if he's screaming.
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,723 What's the X in this equation? Tell me!
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,518 Hi, guys, are we having a... Oh, my God, what's that?
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,145 Please, little girl. These guys are crazy. You gotta help me.
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,897 Don't worry little guy. Jesse is here.
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,273 You have to let him go.
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:41,485 You can't just keep a creature trapped in your basement and torture it.
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,863 You clearly don't understand how important it is to win rib contests.
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:46,114 (SCREAMS)
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:47,908 Oh, God.
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,868 Come watch me do donuts on the front lawn.
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,371 I finally figured it out. Turns out it's a circle.
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,497 - All right. - Awesome!
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,876 (GRUNTING)
00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,753 (FARTS)
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,256 (ALL WHOOPING)
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,217 LAWYER: <i>Peter escaped while you were distracted by the donuts.</i>
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,178 He spent a few nights in the woods, then he moved on with his life.
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,763 Got his MFA in interpretive dance,
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,056 couldn't find work, duh.
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,142 So, he got a job at the Apple Store with all the other MFAs.
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:17,062 That story really did sound like something we would do. Right?
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,398 Yeah, it feels like something we'd pitch to Hulu
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,775 and they'd say, "We don't understand, but go for it."
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:24,236 But I don't remember any of it. I never went to a ribfest
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,321 or met this delicious rib-looking Peter guy.
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:29,449 Just because the story sounded like us doesn't mean we did it.
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,368 Yeah, we 're good people. Remember that time
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,829 we turned that homeless guy's blood into vitamin water?
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,290 Or when we killed millions of bees so people won't get stung?
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,750 Yeah, we invented vaping. That has to count for something.
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:41,920 You're both right. We're great. This was 100% not us.
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,047 Well, Peter is a convincing witness.
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,008 He's a big alien thing and you're aliens.
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,843 It's not hard to think that you did this.
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,178 What does that mean for us?
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,971 It means you're fucked.
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,642 This is your last chance to let me go, buddy.
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,978 They're coming. Do you feel they're coming?
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,813 It's all over you. Get ready. That hurt.
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,192 Halk, calm down, big guy. Don't do anything crazy.
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,194 - Just put the Ring Pop knife down. - Stay back.
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,528 Let me kill him, please.
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,988 - What are you doing? - He's the killer.
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,074 The seven was an L. It was upside down. He lived in a fortune cookie.
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,201 What are you talking about?
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,827 If you caught the real killer, great.
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,288 But if you kill him, it'll make you a killer too.
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,749 Stay back. Don't take another fucking step.
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,585 I bet prison isn't all that bad.
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,296 I just have to bide my time until I go to the Sorting Hat.
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,464 Know what I'm saying?
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,883 You're confusing prison with the <i>Harry Potter</i> movies.
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,427 Don't make assumptions. He might have read the book.
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,762 Fuck you. Even if he had,
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:34,389 he couldn't avoid the cultural impact of the movie.
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,099 Come on. You wanna fight me?
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,560 Does this mean I don't get to be in Hufflepuff?
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,728 (SCREAMS)
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,230 Ow! Argh!
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,397 God!
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,899 What the fuck?
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:47,528 Oh, no, please tell me you got a backup crack pipe inside that butt.
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,197 How does everyone in this prison have so many shivs?
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,574 They teach us shiv-making class on weekends.
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,368 - Why? - You know what they say.
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,578 Give a man a shiv, he shivs for a day.
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,372 Now, teach a man to shiv...
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,916 This place is horrible. There is hardly any sushi,
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,793 the guy making the sushi is a rapist,
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,337 and he charges airport prices before he shivs you.
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,756 This is fucking bullshit. We didn't do this to Peter.
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,676 We're nice, Pupa-fearing, Fox News-believing members of society.
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:11,802 How did we get here then?
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,097 There's only one explanation. The Solar Opposites are getting set up.
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,182 -(ALL GASP) - Someone wanted to take us down.
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,434 It's a conspiracy and we can't trust anyone.
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:22,187 - You think Peter's the mastermind? - No way. Peter's the best.
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:23,814 He has the face and ribs of an angel.
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,525 How could you say that, after everything Peter's been through?
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,402 Seriously, Terry? Go fuck yourself.
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,946 If sweet angel Peter didn't do it, who did?
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,824 Is there someone in our world we offended in some way?
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,702 Last week, Yumyulack and I didn't want to take a History test.
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,161 <i>so we used the Bone Changer Ray</i>
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,498 <i>to turn Miss Frankie's bones into metal like Marvel's Wolverine.</i>
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,709 - What's happening to me? - Hello, sweetie.
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,753 Did you forget to take your keys out of your pocket again?
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:47,880 (GASPS)
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,840 (SCREAMS)
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,092 Jesus, that's grim. Must have been Miss Frankie.
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:55,137 Hold on. There was also this thing with Roland last Tuesday.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,388 <i>I just watched</i> Toy Story 4,
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,141 <i>and I thought it'd be fun to make someone's toys come alive.</i>
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,435 <i>So, I zapped this guy's stuff with our Make Alive Ray.</i>
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,188 Live motherfuckers. Live!
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,481 Why is my stuff alive? What's happening?
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,402 That's messed up, Terry. But another viable suspect.
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,778 - It could also be Matthew. - Who?
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,323 He's the neighborhood fuckboy who hates me for no reason.
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,657 He's kind of my nemesis.
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,368 Matthew told me I wasn't allowed to wear Christmas sweaters
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,455 because I don't know anything about Christmas, whatever the fuck that is.
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,541 <i>So I decided to shoot him with the Sci-fi Holiday Cannon.</i>
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:29,755 Oh, God. No! I can't feel my soul!
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,342 Who doesn't know about Christmas now, you fuck?
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,969 We just flashed back to three really good options
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,221 for who's framing us.
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,306 Honestly, there could be hundreds more.
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,726 Guys, stop. Think about it. There's no way humans could do this.
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,729 - They're dumb as fuck. - Yum's right. They hella dumb.
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,813 They're so budget.
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,815 Stop trying to make "budget" the new "basic".
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:51,235 But yes, in this one instance, they are budget.
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,778 But someone did this to us.
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,572 Someone who's smart, powerful, handsome, loves animals,
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,283 has cheekbones for days, lots of time on their hands.
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,993 Who could it be?
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,787 - Obama! - Dora the Explorer!
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,039 Yes! Obama, the pride of Occidental College.
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:07,334 Motherfucker's been on our shit ever since we out-windsurfed him in Cabo.
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,461 We have to break out and clear our names.
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:12,631 Hurray! The Solar Opposites are staging a breakout.
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,427 - Pupa, you up? - Yes.
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,638 (WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,821 - Ta-da! - ALL: Pupa!
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,492 (ALL CHEERING)
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,286 - Yes! - Yes!
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,745 (SIRENS WAILING)
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,331 All right, the cops are after us. That's enough <i>Shawshank-ing.</i>
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,667 Wait. What the hell are these?
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,545 - Oh, God. Oh, no. - OFFICER: <i>You're surrounded.</i>
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,880 <i>Come out with your hands up!</i>
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,673 Let's grab our stuff and get out of here.
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,842 No, no, no. Look at the ribbons and the certificates.
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,051 Look at the fucking trophies.
00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,970 But I thought you didn't win any rib contest.
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,430 We must have erased our minds.
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,640 We did do all that horrible stuff to Pete.
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,142 Oh, God, we're monsters!
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,853 No way. We're always using sci-fi stuff to help people.
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,771 No, we don't. We're cowards and sneaky shits
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,523 who use sci-fi to make our lives easier.
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,733 No one was setting us up.
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:15,027 We really just are horrible people. I mean, aliens.
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:18,739 <i>Guys! This is your final warning, before things get all "pew, pew, pew".</i>
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,490 <i>What? People don't get that?</i>
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:21,700 <i>Just to be clear,</i>
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,494 <i>"pew, pew, pew" means we're gonna be shooting bullets out of guns,</i>
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,497 <i>not</i> Star Wars <i>lasers. You guys got that, right?</i>
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:30,042 We're guilty of a lot, but we can pay the price for Peter.
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,044 We have to get arrested and go back to prison.
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:36,340 Hurray! The Solar Opposites are taking responsibility!
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:40,219 - Don't shoot. We're coming out. - Hold your pew-pews.
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:01,323 (SIGHS)
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,577 - HALK: Tim! - What the hell?
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,621 Halk Hogam. What are you doing here?
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,414 - We need to talk. - Of course.
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,500 Anything for the hero of Wall War I.
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,335 Don't listen to him. He's gone crazy.
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:16,129 - He's trying to ruin Cherie Day. - I've got the real murderer.
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,340 He claims to be a runner who goes outside the Wall
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,550 for celery sticks and gum.
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,802 He says you and the Walldermen protect him.
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,971 What the hell? You told me it was a cricket.
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,806 They were trying to feed me that line, too.
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:29,101 So this is the man who's been terrorizing my utopia.
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,104 Yes. You assholes, I told you Tim would want justice.
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,857 My sweet Ethan. You're supposed to help me.
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,192 - What did you do, you stupid boy? - Wait, what?
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,611 I've been making The Wall a better place for all of us.
00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:40,696 You knew?
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:41,864 (SIGHS)
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,949 I've known Ethan for a long time.
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,410 And yes, there is a hole in the Wall.
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,703 There is a way out.
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,080 (HALK GASPS)
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,290 My God.
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,666 Ethan does runs for me.
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,711 He gets medicine, food, using a system The Duke set up.
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,546 But I didn't know he was killing people.
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,715 I was just exerting my will as a god.
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,176 Hey, would you tell him, you guys, that I'm a god.
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,011 You guys knew this was happening?
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,929 We just did what we thought you'd want.
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:09,016 We were shielding you from the truth so you could focus on leading us.
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,977 What you've done goes against everything we have fought for.
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,354 But I know your hearts are in the right place.
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:15,856 - I won't punish you. - What?
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,566 That's not the way of The Wall.
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,277 - Fuck no! They just can't walk away. - BOTH: Thank you, Tim.
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,363 But Ethan, we have to lock you up. It's for your own good, my son.
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:24,573 You can't lock me up
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,034 'cause I'll just escape and I'll kill all of you.
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,243 Because I am a god.
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,579 Halk, please let Ethan go with the Walldermen.
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123 You have my word he won't hurt anyone else.
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,585 Ow!
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,504 Take him to the holding chamber.
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,924 I can get out of anything.
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,301 I command you to release me.
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,470 Let me go.
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,599 What's that?
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,267 Tim, what are you doing?
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,394 Take the carb out, man. Let us out.
00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:57,439 I can't. You let Ethan get away with sullying The Wall.
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,650 The blood is on all your tiny hands.
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,109 - Farewell, my friends. - No, no.
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,780 Oh, no!
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,281 Magic Shell!
00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,200 (SCREAMS)
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:09,785 (CHOKES)
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:11,578 Not like this!
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:13,997 No, no, no, no. No, no, Tim.
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,667 Tim, I can stop killing. I'm... I'm better now.
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,168 No, no!
00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,795 (SCREAMS)
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,512 I had no choice. They were part of the old way,
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:32,140 part of the problem. But you, Halk, you can be part of the solution.
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:33,308 Walk with me.
00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:35,185 Even if you didn't know Ethan was a killer,
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,813 you've kept the secret of the hole this entire time.
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:41,233 I'm not asking you to give me your trust, but I owe you the truth.
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,442 All of it.
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,653 Hear me out, then decide what you wanna do.
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,659 Terry, Korvo, Yumyulack, Jesse,
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,578 I find you guilty on all counts.
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,705 I recommend you to be put to death.
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,456 If anyone has an issue with this,
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,584 speak now or forever hold your peace.
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:00,544 I have something to say.
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,131 Terry, the replicants and I have talked,
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,508 and we believe that we should be sentenced to death.
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:07,593 We deserve it.
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,512 Also, "speak now and forever hold your peace" is for weddings.
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:13,682 Folks, I didn't win the hit ABC reality show <i>America's Sexiest Judge</i>
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,851 just to be disrespected in my own court space.
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:18,478 - Now, for the deets on the execush... - Stop!
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,567 I believe the Solar Opposites don't deserve to die.
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,693 Whoa!
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,153 I did not see that coming.
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:29,072 It was that big rib monster they trapped in the basement.
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,909 But I had to keep it cool. I mean, I was the sexy judge.
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,118 Speak your truth, homie.
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:35,537 Yes, they are really, really terrible people.
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:38,832 Which is why they deserve something worse than the death penalty.
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,001 If they die, they'll only suffer for a moment.
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,922 But if they live, they'll have to suffer the guilt of what they've done forever.
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,840 We can do that. I feel totes guilty.
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:49,092 George, I am so sorry.
00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,595 There are punishments that'll keep them in pain
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,473 way longer than killing them. Some real fucked-up stuff.
00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,683 Like here. Check out this video on YouTube.
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,269 Holy fuck, we never even did that at my frat.
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,855 We did get close though. RIP Bryce. We miss you.
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:05,526 If it's on YouTube, how bad can it be? I bet it's just weird tickling.
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:10,280 The aliens are going to put on gloves filled with Brazilian bullet ants.
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,616 The ants have the most painful venom on Earth.
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,202 And each glove has over 500 ants.
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,287 The pain lasts for days.
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:19,873 (ALL SCREAMING)
00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:22,376 - I deserve this. - Me, too!
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,505 (CROWD CHEERING)
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:43,939 We did it!
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:48,485 We out sci-fied those piece-of-shit aliens.
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,737 It was complicated as hell, but we did it.
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:53,532 I can't remember. Can you tell us how we did it again?
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,076 I used the Bone Changer Ray to turn a regular pig
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,953 <i>into that giant rib-filled monster.</i>
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,913 <i>I brought some Solar Opposites masks</i>
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:02,374 <i>from the Hulu stores going-out-of-business sale.</i>
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,419 <i>I also got 15</i> PEN15 <i>pens that are also dildos.</i>
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:07,546 <i>Matthew, it was a genius idea</i>
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,883 <i>to switch the Holiday Spirit Cannon to Fourth of July mode.</i>
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,593 <i>That's right. Pre-cooked ribs,</i>
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:15,429 coleslaw poop, and salt-rub tears.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,015 (GRUNTS)
00:18:18,599 --> 00:18:20,100 <i>And, Roland, excellent call</i>
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:23,187 <i>to use the Make Alive Ray to really land the plane.</i>
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,439 Holy fuck. I'm aware of my existence.
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:26,690 Your name's Peter.
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,317 Peter?
00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,652 Geez, don't you know ice hockey?
00:18:30,736 --> 00:18:32,237 - Give me your pot. - I'm Terry.
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:33,739 I'm gonna do donuts in the yard.
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:37,576 <i>It was so easy to leave the harness unbuckled during our fake family meeting</i>
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,036 <i>so Peter could escape.</i>
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,329 (FARTS)
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,541 Now those bitch-ass aliens can pay for all their crimes.
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,586 - Today, humanity wins! -(BOTH CHEER)
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,254 Shit! What have I done?
00:18:49,338 --> 00:18:54,551 - JESSE: The pain! I can feel in my organs. -(CROWD CLAMORING)
00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:56,595 I'll get you.
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,514 - We needed it. - We're pieces of shit.
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,390 We're big pieces of shitty shit.
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:02,643 We'll never be mean again.
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,520 We'll learn how to have empathy.
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:06,271 We learned our lesson.
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,107 Oh, my God. Look at this guy's shirt.
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,318 That supposed to be a <i>Wayne's World</i> parody?
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,402 Is your name Mark?
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,364 Those movies came out a million years ago.
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:18,784 What kind of loser gets his name added to a <i>Wayne's World</i> shirt?
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,619 - You suck. - That's so embarrassing.
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,829 You're a real fucking idiot, you know that?
00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,206 I can't even look at you.
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,083 Get out of here, you fucking freak!
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,043 Terry's right. Get out of here.
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,169 KORVO: These ants feel bad,
00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:31,380 but shitting on humans almost evens it out.
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,760 Oh, wow. Look at this. Good Cherie Day, everyone.
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,137 That's perfect.
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,597 Wow! (CHUCKLES)
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,683 Good Cherie Day to you.
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,690 I've never told anyone this, but it's been eating away at me.
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:53,360 Now is the time to tell the true story of Cherie's death.
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,529 The story you know, it's a lie.
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,699 Yes, she was a hero who helped me defeat The Duke.
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,158 Yes, she was my lover,
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,578 and, yes, we had a bunch of sex.
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,913 - Pussy was popping. It was... - Tim, please.
00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:08,000 - The Duke didn't kill her during the war. - But then how...
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:11,211 Cherie, she sees this hole, this little piece of blue sky,
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:13,547 and she snaps. She started talking crazy.
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,008 She wants to force people out into the backyard
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,634 to let them get eaten by owls.
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,553 I thought Cherie and I were on the same page,
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,597 but I realized she was just like The Duke.
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,557 In the end, they both wanted chaos,
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,060 and didn't stop to think about the lives they would ruin on the way.
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:28,520 She fought me.
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,689 And I killed Cherie.
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,651 I killed the love of my life to save us all.
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,153 No, don't say that.
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,655 I should've never kept The Duke's enforcers in power.
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,742 All I did was change their name to "The Walldermen". Clever.
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:44,703 The point of keeping the hole a secret was to protect people.
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,205 Why are you telling me this?
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:49,458 I never asked to be in charge of this Wall. It weighs on a man.
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:52,461 And I've been carrying that weight alone for far too long.
00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,296 Now, we can bear it together.
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,632 - What do you mean? - I leave it up to you.
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,217 You can tell everyone the truth.
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,011 Life will change. It might be hard. But that's life.
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,555 Or, you can help me cover this up.
00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:06,975 We'll hide what Ethan did, and life can continue.
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:11,063 Either way, it feels good to not be the man on top of it all.
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,149 So Halk, what are you gonna do?
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:21,281 Wallians, welcome to the first annual Cherie Day!
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:25,369 Before we get to celebrating our fallen hero,
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,913 there is an important announcement to make.
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,957 But you won't be hearing it from me.
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,920 We captured the murderer. It was...
00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:41,343 A rogue cricket who got in The Wall.
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,512 (ALL CHEERING)
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:45,722 That's right. Thank you, Halk.
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,724 You're a hero once again.
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:53,438 We can now go back to life knowing The Wall is safer than ever before.
00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:56,567 For Cherie. Cherie. Cherie.
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,737 ALL: (CHANTING) Cherie! Cherie! Cherie!
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:03,949 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

00:00:08,002 --> 00:00:09,784 Потрясающее место.
00:00:09,785 --> 00:00:12,551 Как им удается из года в год улучшать свою продукцию?
00:00:12,684 --> 00:00:14,660 «Apple Pencil Pro» превосходит
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:17,107 прошлогодний отвратительный устаревший «Apple Pencil».
00:00:17,128 --> 00:00:18,276 Новый пишет курсивом.
00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:20,906 Я видел, как Эмили Дикинсон писала им стихи
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,592 на «Apple TV» в шоу «Дикинсон».
00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:26,253 У них есть роутер с брендом «U2»?
00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,471 Ух ты! Он красный!
00:00:27,508 --> 00:00:29,183 За каждые четыре полоски сигнала
00:00:29,207 --> 00:00:31,471 Боно отправляет пару ботинок морским черепахам.
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,063 Привет. Ищете б/у или…
00:00:33,095 --> 00:00:35,254 Неси «Apple Pencil Pro», служитель яблока.
00:00:35,291 --> 00:00:37,301 Ладно. Хотите зарядное ожерелье?
00:00:37,316 --> 00:00:39,754 У стилуса быстро заканчивается заря...
00:00:40,449 --> 00:00:41,715 Убирайтесь!
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:43,082 — На помощь! — Пит, ты в порядке?
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,238 Это психи-пришельцы, которые пытали меня в темнице!
00:00:46,265 --> 00:00:48,846 Невозможно. Мы превратили темницу в веранду.
00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:50,974 Да. Мы никогда не встречали этого чудака.
00:00:50,987 --> 00:00:52,677 — Привет, сэр… — Не трогай меня!
00:00:52,714 --> 00:00:54,409 Сири, зови полицию!
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,690 Включаю «Destiny's Child».
00:01:01,368 --> 00:01:02,671 Это они!
00:01:07,042 --> 00:01:10,475 — У него нет отверстия. — Значит, надо его проделать.
00:01:10,782 --> 00:01:11,828 Как дела?
00:01:14,228 --> 00:01:17,358 Пришельцы с «Обратной стороны Земли» идут в тюрьму!
00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:20,512 Планета Шлорп была идеальной утопией.
00:01:20,746 --> 00:01:22,310 Пока не упал астероид.
00:01:23,552 --> 00:01:25,981 Сто взрослых и их репликанты взяли по Пупе
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,786 и сбежали в космос
00:01:27,816 --> 00:01:30,325 в поисках нового дома в незаселённых мирах.
00:01:30,997 --> 00:01:34,037 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на перенаселённой планете.
00:01:34,056 --> 00:01:35,747 Я постоянно об этом твержу.
00:01:35,786 --> 00:01:37,518 Я держу Пупу. Я Корво.
00:01:37,543 --> 00:01:39,906 И это моё шоу. Я уронил Пупу. Видите меня?
00:01:39,956 --> 00:01:41,261 Это смешно.
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,224 Ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
00:01:43,255 --> 00:01:44,657 Люди глупые.
00:01:44,686 --> 00:01:46,385 Они любят Брендана Фрейзера или нет?
00:01:46,403 --> 00:01:47,972 Он хороший, дайте ему шанс.
00:01:48,012 --> 00:01:52,537 ОБРАТНАЯ СТОРОНА ЗЕМЛИ
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,691 Крис Циковски, 35 лет.
00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:03,638 Мэнди Синклэр, 28 лет.
00:02:03,687 --> 00:02:05,566 Джеффри Дин Дорган, 33 года.
00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:08,330 Агнес Питерборт, 75 лет.
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,211 Завтра у неё был бы день рождения.
00:02:10,225 --> 00:02:13,145 Круто, приятель. Мне кофе с мышиным молоком.
00:02:13,171 --> 00:02:15,002 Может, ты не понимаешь, что происходит.
00:02:15,027 --> 00:02:16,109 Ты попался.
00:02:16,117 --> 00:02:17,396 Я знаю, ты убил их всех.
00:02:17,411 --> 00:02:20,576 Я был редактором сериала «Кости» с 5 по 9 сезон.
00:02:20,614 --> 00:02:23,889 И позволь сказать тебе: твой сезон закончен, Итан.
00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:27,259 Тебя не повысили до сопродюсера? Печально.
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,411 Тебя заперли в комнате шуток сериала?
00:02:29,436 --> 00:02:32,084 Не было комнаты шуток! Была комната подтекста!
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:33,893 И я там был совсем недолго.
00:02:35,642 --> 00:02:37,643 Хочешь снова увидеть галогеновую лампу,
00:02:37,675 --> 00:02:40,349 с помощью которой Юмьюлак имитирует дневной свет, —
00:02:40,363 --> 00:02:41,881 лучше сотрудничай.
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,889 Приятель, ты не так понял.
00:02:44,907 --> 00:02:47,330 Я выйду отсюда, а вот ты нет.
00:02:47,373 --> 00:02:49,954 Думаешь, Тим и старейшины Стены отпустят тебя?
00:02:49,982 --> 00:02:52,323 Да, детка. Без меня Тим ничто.
00:02:52,352 --> 00:02:54,698 Ноль, зеро, пшик.
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,265 О, не знал, что говорю с таким важным человеком.
00:02:58,291 --> 00:03:01,676 Думаешь, Джесси даёт нам батончики, жвачку и воду?
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:02,934 Брось.
00:03:02,972 --> 00:03:06,071 А протеины и лекарства, которые ты принимал?
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:06,832 Это всё я.
00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:09,650 Я должен поверить, будто в будние дни ты убиваешь людей,
00:03:09,686 --> 00:03:12,254 а на выходных занимаешься делами?
00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:13,477 Господи, ты такой тупой.
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,983 Наверху Стены есть дыра.
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,818 Она была там еще до войны.
00:03:17,845 --> 00:03:20,135 Герцог обеспечивал дополнительное снабжение,
00:03:20,165 --> 00:03:21,699 чтобы контролировать население.
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,948 Сверхсекретная дыра, через которую можно сбежать?
00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:26,725 У тебя богатое воображение, убийца.
00:03:26,751 --> 00:03:28,962 Братишка заказывал продукты через интернет.
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:31,397 Их доставляли на крышу, я вылезал и забирал.
00:03:31,432 --> 00:03:34,036 А теперь делаю то же для моего друга Тима.
00:03:34,703 --> 00:03:36,551 С меня хватит этой чуши!
00:03:36,585 --> 00:03:37,607 Нет никакой дыры в Стене.
00:03:37,632 --> 00:03:39,856 И не смей пятнать доброе имя Тима.
00:03:39,884 --> 00:03:42,556 В прежние времена я был инструктором по скалолазанию
00:03:42,591 --> 00:03:43,828 в фитнес-центре.
00:03:43,846 --> 00:03:47,409 Там я мог убивать только время на скалолазной стенке.
00:03:47,438 --> 00:03:48,699 А мне-то что?
00:03:48,718 --> 00:03:51,317 Здесь у меня появилось столько искушений,
00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:54,944 столько потенциальных жертв. И нет скалолазания, которое отвлекло бы.
00:03:55,237 --> 00:03:58,156 Сначала я хотел убить себя. Тогда я не убил бы никого.
00:03:58,157 --> 00:04:00,715 Но затем ты спас меня.
00:04:01,113 --> 00:04:03,041 — Что? — Ты не помнишь, так?
00:04:03,061 --> 00:04:06,460 Это я устроил тот обвал конфет.
00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:14,578 Я планировал умереть в той куче конфет, похоронив свои наклонности.
00:04:16,974 --> 00:04:19,560 Но ты спас меня.
00:04:25,836 --> 00:04:28,088 — Господи. — Тогда я понял, что особенный.
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:31,140 Ты спас меня, чтобы я выполнил моё предназначение.
00:04:31,578 --> 00:04:32,575 Я бог!
00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:34,316 — Заткнись! — Я бог!
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:37,757 Заходите.
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:38,884 Это за мной.
00:04:38,927 --> 00:04:40,837 Ладно. Допустим, есть заговор,
00:04:40,869 --> 00:04:42,306 помогающий тебе убивать невинных людей.
00:04:42,342 --> 00:04:45,531 Но ты сейчас всё рассказал мне, мистер Фитнес.
00:04:45,562 --> 00:04:46,711 Что будет теперь?
00:04:46,749 --> 00:04:50,100 Они придут и убьют тебя, а обвинят в этом сверчка.
00:04:50,121 --> 00:04:52,596 Что? Откуда ты знаешь про сверчка?
00:04:52,612 --> 00:04:54,779 Эти парни далеко не гении.
00:04:54,785 --> 00:04:56,582 Они во всём винят сверчка.
00:04:57,451 --> 00:04:58,952 ФЕДЕРАЛЬНАЯ ТЮРЬМА
00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:00,897 Вас здесь не притесняют?
00:05:00,932 --> 00:05:02,629 Я ничего не скажу без адвоката.
00:05:02,657 --> 00:05:04,284 Боже. Я ваш адвокат.
00:05:04,312 --> 00:05:06,044 Сколько еще раз повторять?
00:05:06,071 --> 00:05:07,702 Протестую. Я откладываю слушание.
00:05:07,722 --> 00:05:09,308 Мы не в суде... Забудьте.
00:05:09,357 --> 00:05:11,095 Объясню, в чём вас обвиняют.
00:05:11,096 --> 00:05:13,439 И должна сказать, обвинения специфические.
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:16,446 По словам Питера, типа, похожего на Окчу,
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:18,248 всё началось, когда Корво наскучил
00:05:18,269 --> 00:05:20,769 ежегодный праздник рёбрышек,
00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:22,547 проводившийся на улице у вашего дома.
00:05:26,483 --> 00:05:28,037 Пупа, положи рёбрышки.
00:05:28,072 --> 00:05:29,635 Ненавижу этот дурацкий праздник.
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:32,032 Припарковаться негде, весь день песни про рёбрышки.
00:05:32,061 --> 00:05:34,835 И кто-то другой побеждает в конкурсе на лучшие рёбрышки.
00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,422 Почему Корво не победит хоть раз?
00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:39,652 Корво, можешь пойти на курсы барбекю
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:42,561 или поучиться по видео в интернете или у Полы Дин.
00:05:42,596 --> 00:05:44,968 Похищать Полу Дин — слишком долго. Прибегну к науке.
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:47,828 Обвинение заявляет, что Корво создал гигантскую свинью,
00:05:47,829 --> 00:05:51,095 которая сама из себя готовит первоклассные рёбрышки.
00:05:51,103 --> 00:05:53,601 Её кровь на вкус как соус барбекю,
00:05:53,627 --> 00:05:56,024 а если её ударить, выделяются специи.
00:05:56,038 --> 00:05:58,165 Черт, похоже, я мог такое сделать.
00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,944 И со специями тоже.
00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:01,780 Где я? Кто я?
00:06:01,825 --> 00:06:04,476 Ты мой отец? На помощь!
00:06:06,998 --> 00:06:08,383 Вкусно.
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,213 Соус барбекю не помешал бы.
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:11,933 О нет!
00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:14,387 Корво получил 5 золотых медалей фестиваля рёбрышек,
00:06:14,414 --> 00:06:18,042 отобрал титул чемпиона у Риббо, кузена Лиццо.
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,157 Прошу, отпусти меня.
00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:22,307 Постой, мне нужна еда для мероприятия в церкви вечером.
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:25,515 Корво, стой! Питер должен помочь мне с математикой.
00:06:25,563 --> 00:06:27,658 Он не сосредоточится, если будет кричать.
00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:29,737 Чему равен икс в уравнении? Говори!
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:30,954 Привет! Вечеринка в подвале?
00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:32,471 Боже, что это?
00:06:32,505 --> 00:06:35,184 Прошу, девочка! Они чокнутые! Помоги мне!
00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:37,021 Не волнуйся, малыш. Джесси здесь.
00:06:37,183 --> 00:06:38,655 Отпустите его!
00:06:38,683 --> 00:06:41,415 Нельзя держать в подвале живое существо и пытать его!
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,286 Ты не понимаешь, как важно побеждать на конкурсе рёбрышек.
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,010 О боже!
00:06:48,046 --> 00:06:50,014 Посмотрите, как я кручу пятаки на лужайке!
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,434 Я наконец понял, как их делать! Это просто круг!
00:06:52,447 --> 00:06:53,583 — Здорово! — Ладно.
00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:02,996 Да!
00:07:02,997 --> 00:07:05,391 Питер сбежал, пока вы отвлеклись на пятачки.
00:07:05,405 --> 00:07:06,964 Пару ночей он провёл в лесу,
00:07:06,988 --> 00:07:09,961 а затем стал магистром искусств в танцах,
00:07:09,992 --> 00:07:12,421 но не смог найти работу, поэтому пошёл работать в Apple
00:07:12,428 --> 00:07:14,150 вместе с остальными магистрами.
00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:17,682 Ладно. Похоже, мы действительно могли всё это сделать, так?
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:19,980 Да. Похоже, мы подали идею «Хулу»,
00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:21,835 они ответили: «Мы ничего не поняли, но ладно».
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,290 Но я ничего не помню.
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,010 Я не был на фестивале рёбрышек. И не знаю Питера.
00:07:26,043 --> 00:07:29,471 Да. То, что это в нашем духе, не значит, что мы это сделали.
00:07:29,495 --> 00:07:30,600 Да, мы хорошие.
00:07:30,625 --> 00:07:32,501 Помните, как мы превратили кровь бездомного
00:07:32,529 --> 00:07:33,444 в витаминную воду?
00:07:33,474 --> 00:07:35,247 Или как мы убили миллионы пчёл,
00:07:35,274 --> 00:07:36,264 чтобы они не кусались?
00:07:36,285 --> 00:07:38,845 Да, мы придумали вейпинг. Это что-то значит.
00:07:38,846 --> 00:07:40,201 Вы правы. Мы прекрасные.
00:07:40,249 --> 00:07:41,932 Это точно были не мы.
00:07:41,953 --> 00:07:44,026 Питер — убедительный свидетель.
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,050 И потом, он похож на пришельца, а вы пришельцы.
00:07:46,051 --> 00:07:47,966 Напрашивается вывод — это вы.
00:07:47,987 --> 00:07:51,109 — Чем это нам грозит? — Большими проблемами.
00:07:53,632 --> 00:07:55,574 Это твой последний шанс отпустить меня, приятель.
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,186 Они уже идут. Слышишь?
00:07:57,228 --> 00:07:59,052 Они идут. Тебе конец. Готовься.
00:07:59,054 --> 00:08:00,347 Больно.
00:08:00,924 --> 00:08:03,160 Халк. Успокойся, без глупостей.
00:08:03,187 --> 00:08:04,779 Опусти нож-пустышку.
00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:06,415 — Назад! — Дайте мне убить его!
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,914 — Что ты делаешь? — Он убийца.
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,721 Семёрка — это была перевернутая буква «Л».
00:08:09,768 --> 00:08:11,126 Он жил среди печенья.
00:08:11,149 --> 00:08:12,182 О чем ты?
00:08:12,214 --> 00:08:13,902 Если ты поймал убийцу — прекрасно.
00:08:13,946 --> 00:08:16,278 Но если ты убьёшь его, ты тоже станешь убийцей.
00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:18,721 Назад! Не приближайтесь!
00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,632 В тюрьме не так уж и плохо.
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:24,416 Всё, что нужно, — просто ждать своей очереди к распределяющей шляпе.
00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:25,283 Понимаешь?
00:08:25,284 --> 00:08:28,118 Ты путаешь тюрьму с фильмами про Гарри Поттера.
00:08:28,145 --> 00:08:30,445 Не суди по себе. Может, он читал книгу.
00:08:30,482 --> 00:08:31,778 Отвали! Даже если так,
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,302 ему не избежать культурного влияния фильма.
00:08:34,727 --> 00:08:36,027 Давай, ударь меня!
00:08:36,614 --> 00:08:38,554 Значит, я не попаду в Пуффендуй?!
00:08:40,556 --> 00:08:42,529 Боже!
00:08:42,924 --> 00:08:43,945 Какого черта?
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:47,453 О нет! Скажите, что у вас есть запасная трубка для курева!
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,806 Откуда у всех в тюрьме столько заточек?
00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:52,624 По выходным здесь проводят мастер-класс по заточкам.
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,483 — Зачем?! — Юмьюлак, знаешь, как говорят:
00:08:54,506 --> 00:08:56,763 дай человеку заточку, и он дойдёт до точки,
00:08:56,801 --> 00:08:58,343 а если научить его делать заточку…
00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:01,131 Это ужасное место. Здесь даже суши нет.
00:09:01,153 --> 00:09:02,884 Парень, который готовит суши, — насильник.
00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:05,379 Он называет заоблачные цены и бьёт заточкой.
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:07,771 Всё это чушь. Мы не поступали так с Питером.
00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:10,775 Мы прекрасные, пупа-боязненные люди, верящие «Fox News».
00:09:10,803 --> 00:09:11,888 Так почему мы здесь?
00:09:11,891 --> 00:09:14,745 Объяснение лишь одно. Нас подставили.
00:09:15,944 --> 00:09:17,265 Кто-то хотел избавиться от нас.
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,010 Это заговор. Никому не верьте.
00:09:19,523 --> 00:09:21,217 Думаешь, Питер и есть организатор?
00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:23,616 Нет. Питер лучший. У него лицо и рёбрышки ангела.
00:09:23,642 --> 00:09:26,510 Как ты можешь так говорить про Питера после всего?
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,458 Серьезно, Терри, отвали.
00:09:28,492 --> 00:09:30,916 Если это не ангел Питер, то кто?
00:09:31,002 --> 00:09:33,317 Есть в этом мире кто-то, кого мы обидели?
00:09:33,332 --> 00:09:36,574 Мы с Юмьюлаком не хотели сдавать тест по истории
00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:39,591 и с помощью превращателя костей превратили кости миссис Фрэнки в металл,
00:09:39,626 --> 00:09:41,002 как у Росомахи.
00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:43,656 — Что это со мной?! — Привет, милая.
00:09:43,664 --> 00:09:46,170 Опять забыла вытащить ключи из кармана?
00:09:50,101 --> 00:09:52,164 Ужасно. Это точно миссис Фрэнки.
00:09:52,168 --> 00:09:55,264 Постойте. В тот вторник еще был инцидент с Роландом.
00:09:55,327 --> 00:09:56,883 Я посмотрел «Историю игрушек 4»
00:09:56,918 --> 00:09:59,031 и решил что-нибудь оживить.
00:09:59,062 --> 00:10:01,264 Поэтому обработал его вещи оживляющим лучом.
00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:04,280 Живите! Живите!
00:10:04,315 --> 00:10:06,282 Почему вещи ожили? Что происходит?
00:10:08,114 --> 00:10:10,585 Ты напортачил, Терри. Но есть еще подозреваемый.
00:10:10,592 --> 00:10:12,050 — Это Мэтью. — Кто?
00:10:12,084 --> 00:10:15,716 Соседский мальчик, который беспричинно ненавидит меня.
00:10:15,718 --> 00:10:18,544 Мэтью сказал, что мне нельзя носить свитера
00:10:18,545 --> 00:10:21,695 с рождественскими рисунками, потому что я ничего не знаю о Рождестве.
00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:24,214 И я выстрелил в него из научной праздничной пушки.
00:10:26,566 --> 00:10:28,144 О! Боже! Нет!
00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:29,795 Я не чувствую душу!
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:33,131 Что ты теперь скажешь про Рождество?
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,416 Ладно. Мы только что вспомнили трёх человек,
00:10:36,431 --> 00:10:37,418 которые могли подставить нас.
00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:39,269 А их может быть еще десятки сотен.
00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:40,744 Стойте. Подумайте.
00:10:40,779 --> 00:10:42,824 Люди не могли сделать такое.
00:10:42,858 --> 00:10:45,538 — Они тупые. — Юм прав, они тупые.
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:46,762 Бюджетные.
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,926 Джесси, не пытайся придать слову «бюджетные» новый смысл.
00:10:48,963 --> 00:10:51,030 Но да, есть такое. Они бюджетные.
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:52,802 Кто-то подставил нас.
00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:54,848 Кто-то умный, могущественный, красивый,
00:10:54,876 --> 00:10:56,830 любящий животных, с красивыми скулами
00:10:56,844 --> 00:10:58,285 и свободным временем.
00:10:58,302 --> 00:11:00,042 Кто бы это мог быть?
00:11:00,595 --> 00:11:01,715 — Обама! — Даша-путешественница!
00:11:01,742 --> 00:11:04,147 Да, Обама! Гордость колледжа Оксидентал!
00:11:04,183 --> 00:11:07,382 Он обозлился на нас после того, как мы обошли его на сёрфинге.
00:11:07,404 --> 00:11:09,104 Сбежим и оправдаем себя.
00:11:09,139 --> 00:11:09,957 Ура!
00:11:09,982 --> 00:11:12,739 Пришельцы с «Обратной стороны Земли» организуют побег!
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,422 — Пупа, ты с нами? — Да!
00:11:33,482 --> 00:11:34,588 Та-да!
00:11:34,743 --> 00:11:36,016 Пупа!
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,963 Ура!
00:11:40,988 --> 00:11:42,508 — Да! — Да!
00:11:43,849 --> 00:11:46,372 Копы едут. Хватит шоушенкничать.
00:11:47,232 --> 00:11:49,088 Стойте. Это еще что такое?
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,919 Боже. О нет.
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:52,949 Вы окружены! Выходите с поднятыми руками!
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:54,640 Ну же, Корво! Берём вещи и бежим!
00:11:54,665 --> 00:11:56,925 Нет-нет-нет! А ленточки и сертификаты!
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:58,248 Посмотри на эти трофеи!
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,017 Но ты же не побеждал в конкурсах.
00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:03,235 Должно быть, мы стёрли воспоминания. И мы ужасно поступили с Питом.
00:12:03,263 --> 00:12:05,368 Боже. Мы чудовища!
00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:07,934 Нет, мы помогаем людям с помощью науки.
00:12:07,963 --> 00:12:11,581 Нет. Мы трусы, которые с помощью науки облегчают жизнь.
00:12:11,611 --> 00:12:14,220 Никто нас не подставлял. Мы просто ужасные люди.
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,141 То есть, пришельцы.
00:12:15,146 --> 00:12:16,971 Ребята, это последнее предупреждение,
00:12:16,973 --> 00:12:19,002 прежде чем начать пиу-пиу-пиу.
00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:20,568 Стой. Что? Они не знают?
00:12:20,589 --> 00:12:21,851 Поясню.
00:12:21,858 --> 00:12:24,609 «Пиу-пиу-пиу» значит, что мы будем стрелять из пистолетов,
00:12:24,629 --> 00:12:26,322 а не из лазера, как в «Звёздных войнах».
00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:27,501 Вы поняли?
00:12:27,522 --> 00:12:30,150 Мы виноваты, но можем искупить вину.
00:12:30,157 --> 00:12:32,084 Пусть нас арестуют и вернут в тюрьму.
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:32,825 Ура!
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:36,457 Пришельцы с «Обратной стороны Земли» берут на себя ответственность!
00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:39,160 Не стреляйте, мы сдаёмся.
00:12:39,161 --> 00:12:40,363 Никаких «пиу-пиу».
00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:46,310 С ДНЁМ ШЕРИ!
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,708 — Тим! — В чем дело?
00:13:05,807 --> 00:13:07,712 Халк Хогам! Что ты здесь делаешь?
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:08,680 Надо поговорить.
00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:11,543 Конечно, что угодно для героя Первой стеновой.
00:13:11,564 --> 00:13:13,421 Не слушай его, Тим, он спятил.
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:14,940 Хочет испортить День Шери!
00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:16,127 Я поймал настоящего убийцу.
00:13:16,155 --> 00:13:19,602 Он заявляет, что бегает за Стену за сельдереем и жвачкой.
00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:21,795 И говорит, что вы защищаете его.
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:23,880 Что это значит? Вы сказали, это сверчок.
00:13:23,914 --> 00:13:25,794 Мне они тоже вешали эту лапшу.
00:13:25,822 --> 00:13:29,063 Значит, вот кто терроризирует мою утопию?
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,583 Да. Мерзавцы.
00:13:30,584 --> 00:13:32,231 Я же сказал, Тим за справедливость.
00:13:32,237 --> 00:13:34,877 Мой милый Итан. Ты должен был помогать мне.
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,234 — Что ты натворил, тупица? — Стой. Что?
00:13:37,262 --> 00:13:39,745 Я делал Стену лучше для всех нас.
00:13:39,766 --> 00:13:40,826 Ты знал?
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,123 Я очень давно знаю Итана.
00:13:44,422 --> 00:13:46,389 И да, в Стене есть дыра.
00:13:46,522 --> 00:13:47,564 Есть выход.
00:13:50,338 --> 00:13:52,726 — Боже. — Итан выходил,
00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:55,702 приносил лекарства, еду, использовал систему Герцога.
00:13:55,762 --> 00:13:57,510 Но я не знал, что он убивает людей.
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,709 Я лишь выполнял свою волю, как бог.
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:02,244 Парни, скажите ему, что я бог.
00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:04,043 Вы знали о происходящем?
00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:05,945 Мы думали, ты так хочешь.
00:14:05,953 --> 00:14:09,115 Мы защищали тебя от правды, чтобы ты спокойно работал.
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:12,124 Ваш поступок противоречит тому, за что мы боролись.
00:14:12,291 --> 00:14:14,560 Но я знаю, у вас есть сердца.
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:15,965 — Я не накажу вас. — Что?
00:14:15,966 --> 00:14:17,613 В Стене так не действуют.
00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:19,357 Нет! Они не могут просто уйти!
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,453 — Спасибо, Тим. — Спасибо за великодушие.
00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:22,097 Но, Итан, тебя придётся запереть.
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:24,594 — Для твоего же блага. — Вы не сможете!
00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:27,126 Я сбегу и убью всех вас!
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,267 Потому что я бог!
00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:30,472 Халк, отпусти Итана со старейшинами.
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,995 Даю слово, он больше никому не навредит.
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,300 Отведите его в камеру.
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:42,481 Я выберусь откуда угодно.
00:14:42,512 --> 00:14:44,435 Тебе придётся отпустить меня!
00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:46,688 Пустите!
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:50,222 Что это?
00:14:50,713 --> 00:14:52,016 Тим! Что ты делаешь?
00:14:52,686 --> 00:14:54,426 Вынь затычку! Выпусти нас!
00:14:54,457 --> 00:14:57,551 Не могу. Вы позволили ему запачкать доброе имя Стены.
00:14:57,572 --> 00:14:59,746 На ваших ручонках кровь.
00:14:59,747 --> 00:15:01,269 Пока, друзья.
00:15:03,101 --> 00:15:06,024 Нет! Быстро застывающий сироп!
00:15:10,391 --> 00:15:11,852 Только не это! Нет!
00:15:12,653 --> 00:15:14,016 Нет-нет-нет-нет, Тим!
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,390 Я больше не буду убивать! Я стал лучше!
00:15:16,427 --> 00:15:17,632 Нет! Нет! Нет!
00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:27,260 У меня не было выбора.
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,423 Они из старой системы и создавали проблемы.
00:15:29,482 --> 00:15:33,443 Но ты, Халк, поможешь найти решение. Идём со мной.
00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:35,137 Даже если ты не знал, что Итан — убийца,
00:15:35,165 --> 00:15:37,790 ты всё это время хранил в секрете дыру.
00:15:37,808 --> 00:15:39,397 Я не прошу тебя доверять мне,
00:15:39,419 --> 00:15:42,478 но я обязан рассказать тебе правду.
00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:44,722 Выслушай меня. И тогда решишь, как поступить.
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:50,657 Терри, Корво, Юмьюлак, Джесси.
00:15:50,685 --> 00:15:52,724 Я считаю вас виновными по всем обвинениям.
00:15:52,763 --> 00:15:54,827 Рекомендую казнить вас.
00:15:54,859 --> 00:15:56,337 Если у кого-то есть возражения,
00:15:56,338 --> 00:15:58,847 говорите сейчас или замолчите навеки.
00:15:59,382 --> 00:16:01,418 Мне есть что сказать.
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,966 Терри, репликанты и я всё обсудили.
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:07,478 Мы считаем, мы заслужили смертную казнь.
00:16:07,479 --> 00:16:09,208 А фразу «Говорите сейчас или замолчите навеки»
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:10,326 произносят на свадьбах.
00:16:10,478 --> 00:16:13,653 Я не для того победил в реалити-шоу «Самый привлекательный судья»,
00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:15,756 чтобы меня унижали в моём же суде.
00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:17,529 А теперь к деталям казни…
00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:18,609 Стойте!
00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:23,676 Я считаю, пришельцы не заслужили смерти.
00:16:23,705 --> 00:16:24,670 Ух ты!
00:16:25,127 --> 00:16:26,486 Такого я не предвидел.
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,842 Это был большой монстр с рёбрышками, которого они заточили в подвале.
00:16:28,869 --> 00:16:32,020 Но надо было сохранять хладнокровие.
00:16:32,064 --> 00:16:33,141 Говори, братишка.
00:16:33,168 --> 00:16:35,808 Да, они правда ужасные существа,
00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:38,634 поэтому заслуживают наказания похуже смертной казни.
00:16:38,645 --> 00:16:40,786 Если они умрут, то будут страдать лишь момент.
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:44,601 А если останутся живы, будут страдать от вины за содеянное.
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,676 Это мы можем. Я чувствую муки совести.
00:16:46,718 --> 00:16:49,186 Джордж, мне очень жаль.
00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:54,504 Есть наказания, от которых им будет больнее, чем от смерти.
00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:56,710 Например, вот. Я покажу вам. Посмотрите это видео в интернете.
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,304 Черт! Мы не делали такого даже в студенчестве.
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,900 Хотя было близко. Покойся с миром, Брюс.
00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:03,515 Что может быть на видео в интернете?
00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:05,253 Уверен, там просто щекотка.
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,356 Пришельцы наденут перчатки
00:17:08,357 --> 00:17:10,149 с бразильскими муравьями.
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:12,549 Их яд вызывает наибольшую боль.
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:15,294 В каждой перчатке по 500 муравьёв.
00:17:15,331 --> 00:17:17,474 Боль длится много дней!
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,379 — Я заслужил это! — А-а-а-а! Я тоже!
00:17:22,398 --> 00:17:24,166 — О, как жалят! — Спасибо, что делаете это!
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,266 Мы справились!
00:17:45,661 --> 00:17:48,561 Мы по-научному разобрались с этими пришельцами.
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:50,981 Было невероятно сложно, но мы справились.
00:17:51,014 --> 00:17:53,144 Я забыл. Напомни, как мы это сделали?
00:17:53,181 --> 00:17:54,773 Я взяла превращатель костей
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,995 и превратила свинью в гигантского монстра с рёбрышками.
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:01,397 А после купила маски пришельцев «Обратной стороны Земли»
00:18:01,446 --> 00:18:05,512 в магазине «Хулу», который почти окончательно разорился.
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,624 Мэтью, это была гениальная идея –
00:18:07,646 --> 00:18:10,650 переключить праздничную пушку на 4-е июля.
00:18:10,679 --> 00:18:12,607 Верно. Рёбрышки,
00:18:12,684 --> 00:18:15,377 кровь из соуса барбекю и салатные какашки.
00:18:18,566 --> 00:18:20,130 Роланд, прекрасный план –
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:23,161 использовать оживляющий луч в конце.
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:25,668 Черт! Я знаю, что существую.
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:28,351 — Тебя зовут Питер. — Пи-тер.
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,912 — Хоккей на льду меня так заряжает. — Сегодня я усвоила урок.
00:18:30,941 --> 00:18:33,552 Я Терри. Я буду делать пончики во дворе.
00:18:33,574 --> 00:18:36,889 Совсем нетрудно было плохо пристегнуть Питера,
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:38,505 чтобы он мог сбежать.
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:44,581 Теперь эти пришельцы заплатят за все свои преступления!
00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:46,395 Это победа человечества!
00:18:47,181 --> 00:18:49,204 Черт. Что я наделала?!
00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:51,560 Как больно!
00:18:51,587 --> 00:18:53,919 Боль по всему телу!
00:18:53,968 --> 00:18:54,904 У меня тоже!
00:18:54,945 --> 00:18:56,880 — Даже во внутреннем глазу! — Но это хорошо!
00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:58,612 — Так было нужно! — Мы мерзавцы!
00:18:58,641 --> 00:19:00,493 Мы законченные мерзавцы!
00:19:01,175 --> 00:19:02,707 Мы больше не будем злыми.
00:19:02,734 --> 00:19:04,514 Мы научимся сострадать.
00:19:04,515 --> 00:19:05,818 Мы усвоили урок.
00:19:07,235 --> 00:19:09,028 О, посмотрите на его футболку!
00:19:09,069 --> 00:19:11,292 Это пародия на «Мир Уэйна»?
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,604 Тебя зовут Марк?
00:19:12,892 --> 00:19:15,016 Эти фильмы сняли сто лет назад!
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:18,926 Только неудачники пишут своё имя на футболке с «Миром Уэйна»!
00:19:18,947 --> 00:19:20,680 — Ты отстой!
00:19:20,723 --> 00:19:22,339 Тебе должно быть стыдно! Настоящий придурок!
00:19:22,853 --> 00:19:27,640 Не могу это видеть! Убирайся отсюда! Убирайся отсюда, чудик!
00:19:27,674 --> 00:19:28,878 Муравьи больно кусают,
00:19:28,913 --> 00:19:31,030 но наезды на людей заглушают боль.
00:19:33,091 --> 00:19:35,012 О, ты посмотри.
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:36,846 Всех с Днём Шери.
00:19:37,766 --> 00:19:39,070 О, прекрасно!
00:19:39,138 --> 00:19:40,598 Ух ты.
00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:42,739 С Днём Шери вас.
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:49,563 Я никому не рассказывал об этом, но это гложет меня.
00:19:49,615 --> 00:19:53,177 Пришло время рассказать правду о смерти Шери.
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:56,025 Вся история – это ложь.
00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:58,809 Да. Она героиня, и она помогла мне победить Герцога.
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:02,607 Она была моей любовницей, и да, мы с ней спали.
00:20:02,645 --> 00:20:05,002 — Это было… — Тим, прошу…
00:20:05,235 --> 00:20:07,753 Герцог не убил её во время войны.
00:20:07,769 --> 00:20:09,656 — Тогда как… — Шери увидела эту дыру,
00:20:09,699 --> 00:20:12,250 этот кусочек голубого неба и спятила.
00:20:12,251 --> 00:20:13,551 Она сошла с ума.
00:20:13,552 --> 00:20:15,940 Захотела заставить всех выйти на задний двор,
00:20:15,944 --> 00:20:17,650 чтобы их съели совы.
00:20:17,686 --> 00:20:19,511 Я думал, наши взгляды с Шери совпадают.
00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:21,632 Но вдруг понял, что она была как Герцог.
00:20:21,664 --> 00:20:23,623 Они оба хотели хаоса,
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:26,886 и их не останавливала мысль о том, что они могут уничтожить чью-то жизнь.
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,151 Она напала на меня,
00:20:29,257 --> 00:20:30,871 и я убил Шери.
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,692 Я убил любовь всей моей жизни, чтобы спасти нас.
00:20:34,698 --> 00:20:36,262 Нет, не говори так.
00:20:36,264 --> 00:20:38,758 Мне не надо было приводить к власти соратников Герцога.
00:20:38,795 --> 00:20:41,520 Я просто стал называть их старейшинами. Разумно.
00:20:41,575 --> 00:20:44,838 Но я хранил дыру в секрете, чтобы защитить людей.
00:20:44,839 --> 00:20:46,483 Зачем ты рассказываешь мне это?
00:20:46,517 --> 00:20:48,255 Я не просил ставить меня во главе Стены.
00:20:48,323 --> 00:20:49,567 Это большой груз.
00:20:49,595 --> 00:20:52,397 И я нёс его один слишком долго.
00:20:52,486 --> 00:20:54,193 Теперь мы можем разделить его с тобой.
00:20:54,876 --> 00:20:55,700 О чем это ты?
00:20:55,708 --> 00:20:58,071 Выбор за тобой. Можешь рассказать всем правду.
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,969 Жизнь изменится. Может, станет труднее, но такова жизнь.
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:03,433 Или можешь помочь мне скрыть всё это.
00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:07,136 Мы скроем то, что сделал Итан. И жизнь продолжится.
00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:09,284 Как бы то ни было, хорошо,
00:21:09,313 --> 00:21:11,180 что теперь всё это не в моих руках.
00:21:11,962 --> 00:21:14,444 Ну что, Халк, как ты поступишь?
00:21:16,648 --> 00:21:21,400 Жители Стены, добро пожаловать на первый ежегодный День Шери.
00:21:22,328 --> 00:21:25,479 Перед началом празднования Дня Шери
00:21:25,509 --> 00:21:28,032 вас ожидает важное объявление.
00:21:28,075 --> 00:21:30,116 Но вы услышите его не от меня.
00:21:31,918 --> 00:21:33,795 Мы поймали убийцу.
00:21:33,866 --> 00:21:35,154 Это был
00:21:37,975 --> 00:21:41,518 сверчок, который забрался в Стену.
00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:45,834 Верно. Спасибо, Халк.
00:21:45,835 --> 00:21:47,761 Ты снова наш герой.
00:21:47,795 --> 00:21:50,143 Теперь мы можем вернуться к жизни, зная,
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:53,515 что в Стене безопаснее, чем прежде.
00:21:53,566 --> 00:21:54,567 За Шери!
00:21:54,797 --> 00:21:56,671 Шери! Шери!
00:21:56,705 --> 00:21:57,748 Шери!
00:21:57,775 --> 00:21:59,688 Шери! Шери!
00:21:59,703 --> 00:22:01,789 Шери! Шери!

00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:09,700 Как здесь круто.
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:12,370 Как у них получается из года в год улучшать технику?
00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:14,530 Apple Pencil Pro намного лучше,
00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:17,080 чем отвратительный, устаревший Apple Pencil.
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,330 Новый может писать курсивом.
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,960 Я буквально видел, как Эмили Дикинсон писала им стихи
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,500 в сериале Дикинсон на канале Apple TV+ на моем Apple TV!
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:26,210 У них есть Wi-fi роутер под брендом U2?
00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:27,420 Вау! Он красный.
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,130 А за каждые четыре риски сигнала
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,380 Боно отправляет обувь морским черепахам.
00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:32,930 Эй, вам нужно починить...
00:00:32,930 --> 00:00:35,260 Принеси мне Apple Pencil Pro, слуга Apple.
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,270 Конечно. Возьмёте также заряжающее ожерелье?
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,600 Карандаш очень быстро разряжа...
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,690 Не подходите!
00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:42,980 - На помощь! - О боже, Пит, ты в порядке?
00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:46,150 Это те пришельцы-психопаты, которые пытали меня в своём подземелье!
00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:48,860 Это невозможно. Мы переделали наше подземелье во Флоридскую комнату.
00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:50,900 Да, мы вообще не знаем этого фрика.
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,610 - Здравствуйте, сэр, я... - Не прикасайся!
00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,320 Сири, вызывай копов!
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,490 Включаю Destiny's Child.
00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:02,540 Это они!
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,630 У него нет ануса.
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,420 Придётся нам его создать.
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:11,550 Ну что, как дела?
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:17,260 Солнечные Противоположности отправляются в тюрьму!
00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:20,390 Планета Шлорп являлась идеальной утопией.
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:22,230 До падения астероида.
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,860 Сотня взрослых и репликантов улетели с планеты вместе с Пупой
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:27,940 и отправились в космос
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:30,280 в поисках нового дома на необитаемой планете.
00:01:31,030 --> 00:01:33,990 Мы упали на Землю и застряли на этой уже и так перенаселённой планете.
00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,740 Верно, это я говорил все это время.
00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,490 Я тот, который держит Пупу. Меня зовут Корво.
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:39,910 Это... это моё шоу. Я только что уронил Пупу. Видите меня?
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,330 Это просто смешно.
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:43,250 Я ненавижу Землю. Это ужасный дом.
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:44,750 Люди тупые и нелогичные.
00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,380 Так нравится им Брендан Фрейзер или нет?
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:47,960 Он хороший парень. Дайте ему шанс.
00:01:59,726 --> 00:02:01,686 Крис Сиковски, 35.
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,646 Мэнди Синклэр, 28.
00:02:03,646 --> 00:02:05,686 Джеффри Дин Дорган, 33.
00:02:05,686 --> 00:02:08,396 Агнес Питерборт, 75.
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,236 Завтра был бы её день рождения.
00:02:10,236 --> 00:02:13,116 Крутой список, бро. Я выпью кофе с мышиным молоком.
00:02:13,116 --> 00:02:15,026 Вероятно, ты не понимаешь, что тут происходит.
00:02:15,026 --> 00:02:16,076 Тебе конец.
00:02:16,076 --> 00:02:17,446 Я знаю, что это ты их убил.
00:02:17,446 --> 00:02:20,576 Я был сценаристом с 5 по 9 сезон сериала "Кости".
00:02:20,576 --> 00:02:24,036 и тебе стоит знать, приятель, что там был сезон с Итаном!
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:27,206 Тебя так и не повысили до со-продюсера? Как ничтожно.
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:29,416 Думаю, они просто закинули тебя в отдел шуток.
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,046 У нас не было отдела шуток, это был отдел инсинуации.
00:02:32,046 --> 00:02:34,046 И я был там всего лишь в 9 сезоне.
00:02:35,596 --> 00:02:37,596 Если хочешь ещё раз увидеть галогенную лампу для рептилий,
00:02:37,596 --> 00:02:40,426 с помощью которой Юмьюлак имитирует солнечный день,
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:41,886 то тебе лучше начать сотрудничать.
00:02:41,886 --> 00:02:44,856 Приятель, ты крупно ошибаешься.
00:02:44,856 --> 00:02:47,316 Я отсюда выйду, а вот ты - нет.
00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:49,896 Думаешь, Тим и охранники позволят тебе уйти?
00:02:49,896 --> 00:02:52,396 О да, детка. Без меня Тим никто.
00:02:52,396 --> 00:02:54,656 Ноль, зеро, ничто.
00:02:54,656 --> 00:02:58,196 Вау, а я и не знал, что говорю с такой важной личностью.
00:02:58,196 --> 00:03:01,456 Думаешь, это Джесси даёт нам протеиновые батончики, парацетамол и бутилированную воду?
00:03:01,456 --> 00:03:02,916 Да ладно тебе.
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:06,126 Весь тот протеин и лекарства, к которым ты так привык?
00:03:06,126 --> 00:03:06,786 Этот парень.
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:09,626 То есть, я должен поверить, что ты убиваешь людей в будни,
00:03:09,626 --> 00:03:12,216 а потом выполняешь поручения по выходным?
00:03:12,216 --> 00:03:13,466 Боже, как же ты туп.
00:03:13,466 --> 00:03:15,966 Слушай, вверху Стены есть дыра.
00:03:15,966 --> 00:03:17,806 Она была там ещё до войны.
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,136 Герцог проносил через неё припасы,
00:03:20,136 --> 00:03:21,766 чтобы контролировать население.
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,886 Секретная дыра, через которую мы могли бы сбежать?
00:03:23,886 --> 00:03:26,766 Ну и воображение у тебя, убийца.
00:03:26,766 --> 00:03:28,936 У Брохайма была подписка на Amazon Fresh.
00:03:28,936 --> 00:03:31,356 Они забрасывали посылки на крышу, а я залезал туда и забирал их.
00:03:31,356 --> 00:03:33,856 Теперь я делаю то же самое для моего дорогого друга Тима.
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,566 Я устал это слушать!
00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:39,826 В Стене нет никакой дыры, и даже не смей так говорить о Тиме.
00:03:39,826 --> 00:03:42,446 Перед попаданием сюда я был инструктором по скалолазанию
00:03:42,446 --> 00:03:43,786 в Bally's Total Fitness.
00:03:43,786 --> 00:03:45,996 Вне Стены нападал я только на
00:03:45,996 --> 00:03:47,496 стены для скалолазания.
00:03:47,496 --> 00:03:48,706 И зачем ты это рассказываешь?
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:51,376 Когда я попал сюда, я получил такое искушение.
00:03:51,376 --> 00:03:54,836 Понимаешь, так много потенциальных жертв, и нет стены для скалолазания, чтобы отвлечься.
00:03:55,256 --> 00:03:58,046 Сначала я собирался убить себя. Таким образом я бы не убил никого.
00:03:58,046 --> 00:04:00,506 Но ты меня спас.
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:03,016 - Что? - О, так ты не помнишь?
00:04:03,016 --> 00:04:06,266 Именно я начал потоп хлопьев.
00:04:09,726 --> 00:04:14,396 Я хотел умереть в куче хлопьев и наконец подавить в себе эти желания.
00:04:16,946 --> 00:04:19,576 Но меня спас ты.
00:04:25,826 --> 00:04:28,326 - О боже. - И тогда я понял, что я особенный.
00:04:28,326 --> 00:04:31,206 Ты спас меня, и я решил выполнить своё предназначение.
00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:32,546 Я бог!
00:04:32,546 --> 00:04:34,336 - Заткнись! - Я бог!
00:04:36,296 --> 00:04:37,716 Пошли. Пошли сюда.
00:04:37,716 --> 00:04:38,836 - Покончим с этим. - Ну, вот и все.
00:04:38,836 --> 00:04:40,796 Ладно, давай представим, что есть такая теория заговора,
00:04:40,796 --> 00:04:42,256 которая помогает тебе убивать невиновных.
00:04:42,256 --> 00:04:45,556 Но ты выдал мне весь план, мистер Total Fitness.
00:04:45,556 --> 00:04:46,636 И что дальше?
00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:48,806 Не знаю, думаю, они просто зайдут и убьют тебя,
00:04:48,806 --> 00:04:50,016 а потом обвинят кузнечика.
00:04:50,016 --> 00:04:52,686 Что? Откуда ты знаешь про кузнечика?
00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:54,776 Они не такие уж и изобретательные.
00:04:54,776 --> 00:04:57,396 Они всегда обвиняют кузнечика.
00:04:58,906 --> 00:05:00,816 Как к вам относились, пока вы сидели здесь?
00:05:00,816 --> 00:05:02,866 Я ничего не скажу, пока не увижу своего адвоката.
00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,326 Боже, я и есть ваш адвокат.
00:05:04,326 --> 00:05:05,826 Сколько мне ещё повторять это?
00:05:05,826 --> 00:05:07,706 Возражение, отклонено, мне больше нечего сказать.
00:05:07,706 --> 00:05:09,376 Это даже не процесс... Забудьте.
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,036 Давайте я расскажу вам об обвинениях,
00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:13,496 и, должна сказать, они очень подробные.
00:05:13,496 --> 00:05:16,626 По словам Питера, напоминающего Окчу,
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,256 все началось тогда, когда Корво разозлился
00:05:18,256 --> 00:05:20,756 по поводу вечеринки с рёбрышками
00:05:20,756 --> 00:05:22,466 на улице возле вашего дома...
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,016 Пупа, а ну не ешь это вкусное рёбрышко!
00:05:28,016 --> 00:05:29,646 Черт возьми, ненавижу этот фест с рёбрышками.
00:05:29,646 --> 00:05:32,056 Негде парковаться, они целый день готовят,
00:05:32,056 --> 00:05:34,816 а ещё кто-то, кто не я, побеждает в конкурсе лучших рёбрышек!
00:05:34,816 --> 00:05:36,526 Почему не может победить Корво?
00:05:36,526 --> 00:05:38,566 Знаешь, Корво, ты можешь пройти курсы по барбекю
00:05:38,566 --> 00:05:41,406 в какой-нибудь академии, или посмотреть видео на ютубе,
00:05:41,406 --> 00:05:42,486 или похитить Полу Дин...
00:05:42,486 --> 00:05:45,196 Похищать людей - слишком долго, я просто использую науку!
00:05:45,196 --> 00:05:47,906 В обвинении написано, что Корво создал огромное существо-свинью,
00:05:47,906 --> 00:05:50,166 которое производит великолепные рёбрышки
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:51,036 в своей грудной клетке.
00:05:51,036 --> 00:05:53,586 Его кровь на вкус как идеальный соус для барбекю,
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:56,126 а если его ударить, то появляется гарнир.
00:05:56,126 --> 00:05:58,166 Черт, очень на меня похоже.
00:05:58,166 --> 00:05:59,876 Даже эта фигня с гарниром.
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,926 Где я? К-кто я?
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:04,466 Ты мой папа? У-и! На помощь!
00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:08,136 Какое хорошее рёбрышко.
00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,976 Но не хватает соуса барбекю.
00:06:10,686 --> 00:06:11,896 О нет!
00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:14,356 Корво выиграл пять золотых медалей,
00:06:14,356 --> 00:06:17,986 победив кузена Лиззо - Риббо, который раньше был чемпионом.
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,106 Пожалуйста, отпусти меня.
00:06:19,106 --> 00:06:22,236 Замри, мне нужно много рёбрышек для сегодняшнего собрания в церкви.
00:06:22,236 --> 00:06:25,526 Корво, стой! Пусть Питер поможет мне с математикой.
00:06:25,526 --> 00:06:27,656 Он не сможет мне помочь, если будет орать.
00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:29,746 Что такое Х в этом уравнении? Скажи мне!
00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:30,916 Привет! У нас...
00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:32,496 О боже, что это?
00:06:32,496 --> 00:06:35,126 Пожалуйста, девочка! Они сумасшедшие. Помоги мне!
00:06:35,126 --> 00:06:36,876 Не волнуйся, Джесси рядом.
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,626 Вы должны отпустить его!
00:06:38,626 --> 00:06:41,376 Нельзя держать кого-то в подвале и пытать их.
00:06:41,376 --> 00:06:44,466 Ты точно не понимаешь, как важно победить в конкурсе рёбрышек.
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,266 О боже!
00:06:48,266 --> 00:06:50,016 Ребята! Посмотрите, как я буду делать пончики в газоне!
00:06:50,016 --> 00:06:52,386 Я наконец-то понял, как их делать. Оказывается, это круг!
00:06:52,386 --> 00:06:53,556 - Круто! - Ладно.
00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:01,486 Иди к черту, газон!
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,446 Питер сбежал, пока вы отвлеклись на пончики.
00:07:05,446 --> 00:07:08,196 Он провёл несколько ночей в лесу, потом решил жить дальше,
00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:09,906 получил танцевальное образование,
00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:12,246 не мог найти работу, а потом начал работать в Apple Store
00:07:12,246 --> 00:07:14,116 как и все другие люди с высшим образованием.
00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:16,246 Ладно, слушайте. Да, полное разоблачение, звучит как то,
00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:17,626 что мы бы сделали, верно?
00:07:17,626 --> 00:07:19,796 Да, это прямо то, что мы бы продали Hulu,
00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:21,756 а они бы ответили: "Мы не понимаем, но согласны".
00:07:21,756 --> 00:07:23,256 Но я не помню ничего такого.
00:07:23,256 --> 00:07:26,006 Я никогда не ходил на фест рёбрышек и никогда не встречал этого вкусного Питера.
00:07:26,006 --> 00:07:28,306 Да, только то, что это похоже на нас,
00:07:28,306 --> 00:07:29,426 не значит, что мы это сделали.
00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:30,596 Да, мы хорошие люди.
00:07:30,596 --> 00:07:32,476 Помните, как мы превратили кровь бездомного парня
00:07:32,476 --> 00:07:33,346 в витаминную воду?
00:07:33,346 --> 00:07:35,146 И-или когда мы убили миллионы пчёл,
00:07:35,146 --> 00:07:36,266 чтобы они не жалили людей?
00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,726 Да, а ещё мы изобрели вейпинг, это уж точно что-то да значит.
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,146 Вы оба правы. Мы крутые.
00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:41,896 Это точно не мы!
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,026 Ну, Питер звучит довольно убедительно.
00:07:44,026 --> 00:07:45,946 К тому же, он огромное странное существо, а вы странные пришельцы,
00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:47,826 так что в подобное легко поверить.
00:07:47,826 --> 00:07:49,156 И что это значит для нас?
00:07:49,156 --> 00:07:50,946 Это значит, что вам пиздец.
00:07:53,615 --> 00:07:55,625 Это последний шанс отпустить меня, приятель.
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,335 Вот и они. Чувствуешь это?
00:07:57,335 --> 00:07:59,085 Чувствуешь их? Они идут. Для тебя все кончено. Готовься.
00:07:59,085 --> 00:07:59,795 Черт, больно же.
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:03,165 Тише, успокойся. Не делай ничего безумного.
00:08:03,165 --> 00:08:04,715 Положи нож-колечко на пол.
00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:06,505 - Назад! - Дайте мне убить его, пожалуйста!
00:08:06,505 --> 00:08:07,885 - Что ты делаешь? - Он убийца!
00:08:07,885 --> 00:08:09,715 Семёрка на самом деле была буквой, просто перевёрнута.
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,055 Он жил в печеньке с предсказанием.
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,135 Стоп, о чем это ты?
00:08:12,135 --> 00:08:13,885 Если ты поймал настоящего убийцу, то круто.
00:08:13,885 --> 00:08:16,265 Но если ты убьёшь его, то и сам станешь убийцей.
00:08:16,265 --> 00:08:18,725 Назад! Ни шагу вперёд!
00:08:20,145 --> 00:08:21,645 Знаете, а тюрьма не так уж и хороша.
00:08:21,645 --> 00:08:24,315 Мне просто нужно подождать, а потом пойти к Распределяющей шляпе.
00:08:24,315 --> 00:08:25,155 Понимаете, о чем я?
00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:28,155 Ты путаешь тюрьму с фильмами о Гарри Поттере.
00:08:28,155 --> 00:08:30,445 Не делай такие предположения, он мог и книги прочитать.
00:08:30,445 --> 00:08:31,695 Иди к черту! Даже если бы и прочитал,
00:08:31,695 --> 00:08:34,325 то он все равно не мог избежать влияния фильмов!
00:08:34,325 --> 00:08:35,955 Ну давай, дерись со мной!
00:08:35,955 --> 00:08:38,535 Это значит, что я не попаду в Пуффендуй?
00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:42,375 Боже!
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:43,915 Что за черт!
00:08:43,915 --> 00:08:47,505 О нет, пожалуйста, скажи мне, то у тебя есть запасная трубка в заднице.
00:08:47,505 --> 00:08:49,795 Как это у всех в тюрьме так много заточек.
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:52,675 Ну, у них есть курсы по изготовлению заточек по выходным.
00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:54,425 - Зачем? - Юмьюлак, знаешь, как они говорят:
00:08:54,425 --> 00:08:56,765 "Если дать человеку заточку, то он будет использовать её день".
00:08:56,765 --> 00:08:58,515 "Но если научить человека делать заточки..."
00:08:58,515 --> 00:08:59,935 Это просто ужасное место.
00:08:59,935 --> 00:09:01,105 Тут даже нет нормальных суши,
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,855 а человек, который делает суши, - насильник.
00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:05,315 А ещё у него цены как в аэропорту, а потом он нападает на тебя с заточкой.
00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:07,695 Это просто бред. Я уверен, что мы этого всего не делали.
00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:10,735 Мы хорошие члены общества, которые боятся Пупу и верят Fox News.
00:09:10,735 --> 00:09:11,785 Тогда почему мы здесь?
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,535 Тут есть только одно объяснение. Солнечных Противоположностей подставили.
00:09:15,785 --> 00:09:17,205 Кто-то хотел обвинить нас.
00:09:17,205 --> 00:09:18,955 Это заговор, и мы не можем никому доверять.
00:09:18,955 --> 00:09:21,205 Думаешь, Питер - злобный гений?
00:09:21,205 --> 00:09:23,795 Ну нет! Питер лучший. У него лицо и рёбрышки ангела.
00:09:23,795 --> 00:09:26,585 Как ты можешь так говорить про Питера после того, как он пережил все это?
00:09:26,585 --> 00:09:28,385 Серьёзно, Терри, иди ты нахер.
00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:30,925 Если милый ангел Питер этого не делал, то кто?
00:09:30,925 --> 00:09:33,305 Есть кто-то в этом мире, кого мы обидели?
00:09:33,305 --> 00:09:36,685 Эм, на прошлой неделе мы с Юмьюлаком не хотели сдавать тест по истории,
00:09:36,685 --> 00:09:39,685 поэтому мы с помощью Луча-Изменения-Костей прекратили кости Мисс Фрэнки в металл,
00:09:39,685 --> 00:09:40,685 прямо как Росомаха из Марвел.
00:09:41,475 --> 00:09:43,645 - Что со мной происходит? - Привет, милочка!
00:09:43,645 --> 00:09:46,315 Вы снова забыли достать ключи из кармана?
00:09:50,115 --> 00:09:52,155 Вот это дичь. Это точно Мисс Фрэнки.
00:09:52,155 --> 00:09:55,115 Подождите, была ещё ситуация с Роландом в прошлый вторник...
00:09:55,445 --> 00:09:56,865 Мы только посмотрели Историю игрушек 4,
00:09:56,865 --> 00:09:59,035 и я думал, что будет смешно, если чьи-то игрушки оживут.
00:09:59,035 --> 00:10:01,285 Так что я выстрелил из оживляющего луча в вещи этого парня.
00:10:01,285 --> 00:10:04,335 Живите, ублюдки, живите!
00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:06,335 Почему мои вещи живые? Что происходит?
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,465 Ну и подстава, Терри. У нас ещё один подозреваемый.
00:10:10,465 --> 00:10:12,005 - Это может быть и Мэттью. - Кто?
00:10:12,005 --> 00:10:14,465 Он наш сосед, который ненавидит меня без причины.
00:10:14,465 --> 00:10:15,715 Он мой заклятый враг.
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,435 Мэттью сказал мне, что мне нельзя носить Рожденственские свитера,
00:10:18,435 --> 00:10:20,225 потому что я ничего не знаю про это Рожденство,
00:10:20,225 --> 00:10:21,435 что бы это ни значило.
00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:24,145 Так что я выстрелил в него из праздничной пушки.
00:10:26,735 --> 00:10:28,185 О боже! Нет!
00:10:28,185 --> 00:10:29,695 Я не чувствую свою душу!
00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:33,025 И кто теперь не знает про Рожденство, идиот?
00:10:33,025 --> 00:10:36,365 Ладно, вау, теперь у нас три варианта тех,
00:10:36,365 --> 00:10:37,405 кто может нас подставлять.
00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:39,285 Если честно, их несколько сотен.
00:10:39,285 --> 00:10:40,745 Да прекратите. Просто подумайте об этом.
00:10:40,745 --> 00:10:42,785 Люди точно не смогли бы сделать это.
00:10:42,785 --> 00:10:45,545 - Они чертовски тупые. - Юм прав, они довольно тупые.
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,795 Они такие бюджетные.
00:10:46,795 --> 00:10:48,965 Джесси, прекрати использовать слово "бюджетный" вместе "банальный".
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:51,125 Но да, в этом случае они точно бюджетные.
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:52,795 Но кто-то же все равно подставил нас.
00:10:52,795 --> 00:10:54,795 Кто-то умный, могущественный, красивый,
00:10:54,795 --> 00:10:56,805 любит животных, с идеальными скулами,
00:10:56,805 --> 00:10:58,265 и кучей свободного времени.
00:10:58,265 --> 00:10:59,935 Кто бы это мог быть?
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,725 - Обама! - Даша-путешественница!
00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:04,145 Да, Обама! Гордость Оксидентал-колледж.
00:11:04,145 --> 00:11:07,355 Этот говнюк злится на нас с тех пор, как мы обошли его в Кабо.
00:11:07,355 --> 00:11:09,145 Надо сбежать из тюрьмы и отбелить наши имена.
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:12,605 Ура! Солнечные противоположности сбегают из тюрьмы!
00:11:15,945 --> 00:11:17,365 - Пупа, ты тут? - Да.
00:11:34,715 --> 00:11:36,215 Пупа!
00:11:40,975 --> 00:11:42,435 - Да! - Да!
00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:46,265 Так, все, копы на хвосте. Хватит Шоушенка.
00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:49,565 Стоп, что это за херня?
00:11:49,565 --> 00:11:50,895 Божечки. О, нет.
00:11:50,895 --> 00:11:51,815 Вы окружены!
00:11:51,815 --> 00:11:52,815 Выходите с поднятыми руками!
00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:54,565 Ладно, Корво! Собираем манатки и валим!
00:11:54,565 --> 00:11:56,865 Нет-нет-нет! Посмотрите на ленточки! И на сертификаты!
00:11:56,865 --> 00:11:58,235 Посмотрите на чертовы награды!
00:11:58,235 --> 00:12:00,035 Но я думала, ты не выигрывал никакой конкурс!
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:01,405 Наверное, мы стёрли себе память.
00:12:01,405 --> 00:12:03,205 И мы сделали все эти ужасные вещи с Питом.
00:12:03,205 --> 00:12:05,325 Божечки! Мы монстры!
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,835 Не может быть, мы используем научную фигню чтобы помогать людям!
00:12:07,835 --> 00:12:10,005 Нет, мы трусливые говнюки,
00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:11,585 которые только упрощают свою жизнь.
00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:14,295 Никто не подставлял нас, мы действительно ужасные люди.
00:12:14,295 --> 00:12:15,175 То есть, инопланетяне.
00:12:15,175 --> 00:12:16,925 Ребята, это последнее предупреждение,
00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:19,175 а потом мы будем делать пиф-паф.
00:12:19,175 --> 00:12:20,555 Стоп, что? Люди не поняли...
00:12:20,555 --> 00:12:21,765 Ладно, объясняю.
00:12:21,765 --> 00:12:24,635 Пиф-паф значит, что мы будем стрелять пулями,
00:12:24,635 --> 00:12:26,265 а не лазерами, как в "Звёздных Войнах".
00:12:26,265 --> 00:12:27,475 Понятно, да, ребят?
00:12:27,475 --> 00:12:30,065 Мы виноваты много в чем, но за поступок с Питером мы расплатимся.
00:12:30,065 --> 00:12:32,065 Надо сдаться полиции и вернуться в тюрьму.
00:12:32,065 --> 00:12:36,355 Ура! Солнечные противоположности несут ответственность!
00:12:37,445 --> 00:12:39,115 Не стреляйте, мы-мы-мы выходим.
00:12:39,115 --> 00:12:40,445 Уберите пиф-паф!
00:13:04,055 --> 00:13:05,805 - Тим! - Какого черта?
00:13:05,805 --> 00:13:07,595 Халк Хоган, ты что здесь делаешь?
00:13:07,595 --> 00:13:08,725 Нужно поговорить!
00:13:08,725 --> 00:13:11,815 Конечно, что угодно для героя Первой Стенной Войны.
00:13:11,815 --> 00:13:13,565 Не слушай его, Тим. Он сошёл с ума.
00:13:13,565 --> 00:13:15,025 Он хочет сорвать праздник Шерри!
00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:16,145 Я поймал настоящего убийцу.
00:13:16,145 --> 00:13:18,405 Который утверждает, что бегал куда-то за Стену
00:13:18,405 --> 00:13:19,615 за сельдереем и жвачками.
00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:21,785 Сказал, что вы с охранниками защищаете его.
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:23,945 Какого черта? Ты говорил мне, что это все сверчок.
00:13:23,945 --> 00:13:25,785 Меня они тоже пытались накормить этой ложью.
00:13:25,785 --> 00:13:29,075 Значит, это он держит в страхе мою утопию?
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,495 Да. Вы, придурки,
00:13:30,495 --> 00:13:32,085 я же говорил, что Тим за справедливость!
00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:34,835 Мой дорогой Итан, ты должен был помогать мне.
00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:37,215 Что ты наделал, глупый мальчишка? - Стоп, что?
00:13:37,215 --> 00:13:39,715 Я делал Стену лучшим местом для всех нас!
00:13:39,715 --> 00:13:41,925 Ты знал?
00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:43,925 Я знаю Итана уже давно.
00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:46,515 И да, в Стене есть дыра.
00:13:46,515 --> 00:13:47,845 Есть выход.
00:13:50,355 --> 00:13:52,645 - Боже мой. - Итан выходил наружу.
00:13:52,645 --> 00:13:55,685 Он доставал лекарства, продукты, используя систему Герцога.
00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:57,525 Но я не знал, что он убивает людей.
00:13:57,525 --> 00:13:59,605 Я просто проявлял свою божественную волю!
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:02,155 Эй, ребята, хоть вы скажите ему, что я Бог.
00:14:02,155 --> 00:14:03,985 Вы знали, что происходит?
00:14:03,985 --> 00:14:05,905 Мы просто делали то, что ты счёл бы правильным.
00:14:05,905 --> 00:14:07,365 Мы хотели оградить тебя от правды,
00:14:07,365 --> 00:14:08,995 чтобы ты смог сосредоточиться на деле.
00:14:08,995 --> 00:14:11,955 То, что вы сделали, идёт вразрез со всем, за что мы боролись!
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,705 Я понимаю, вы делали это из добрых побуждений.
00:14:14,705 --> 00:14:15,955 Я не стану вас наказывать. - Что?
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:17,545 Это не в правилах Стены.
00:14:17,545 --> 00:14:19,215 Какого хрена? Они не могут просто уйти!
00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:20,255 - Спасибо, Тим. - Спасибо за милосердие.
00:14:20,255 --> 00:14:22,045 Но, Итан, тебя придётся запереть.
00:14:22,045 --> 00:14:23,345 Это для твоего же блага, сынок.
00:14:23,345 --> 00:14:24,595 Ты не можешь меня запереть!
00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:27,135 Потому что я сбегу и убью вас всех!
00:14:27,135 --> 00:14:28,225 Потому что я Бог.
00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:30,435 Халк, прошу, отпусти Итана с охранниками.
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:32,975 Даю тебе слово: он больше никому не навредит.
00:14:36,565 --> 00:14:38,485 Отведите его в удерживающую камеру.
00:14:40,355 --> 00:14:42,525 Я могу сбежать откуда угодно.
00:14:42,525 --> 00:14:44,235 Приказываю тебе отпустить меня!
00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:46,445 Отпустите меня!
00:14:49,035 --> 00:14:50,035 Что происходит?
00:14:50,575 --> 00:14:51,825 Тим! Ты что делаешь?
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,375 Вытащи это! Выпусти нас!
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:57,545 Вы позволите Итану сбежать, запятнав репутацию Стены.
00:14:57,545 --> 00:14:59,625 Эта кровь на ваших ручонках.
00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:01,085 Прощайте, друзья мои.
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:06,215 О, нет, волшебная жижа!
00:15:10,385 --> 00:15:12,555 Не нравится мне это! Нет!
00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:13,975 Нет, Тим!
00:15:13,975 --> 00:15:16,645 Тим, я перестану убивать! Я изменился!
00:15:16,645 --> 00:15:19,145 Нет-нет-нет!
00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:27,244 У меня не было выбора.
00:15:27,244 --> 00:15:29,494 Они были частью старой системы, частью проблемы.
00:15:29,494 --> 00:15:32,284 Но ты, Халк, можешь стать частью её решения.
00:15:32,284 --> 00:15:33,414 Пойдём со мной.
00:15:33,414 --> 00:15:35,084 Пускай ты и не знал, что Итан - убийца,
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:37,794 но ты держал в секрете этот проход.
00:15:37,794 --> 00:15:39,334 Я не прошу тебя довериться мне,
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:41,464 но я доверяю тебе правду,
00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:42,464 всю правду.
00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:44,594 Выслушай меня, а потом решай, что ты с ней сделаешь.
00:15:48,384 --> 00:15:50,634 Терри, Корво, Юмьюлак, Джесси.
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:52,724 Я признаю вас виновными по всем статьям.
00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:54,804 И приговариваю вас к смерти.
00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:56,224 Если кто-то не согласен,
00:15:56,224 --> 00:15:59,394 то пускай говорит сейчас, или же замолчит навеки.
00:15:59,394 --> 00:16:02,024 Я хочу кое-что сказать.
00:16:02,024 --> 00:16:03,854 Мы с Терри и репликантами все обсудили
00:16:03,854 --> 00:16:06,524 и считаем, что нас стоит приговорить к смерти.
00:16:06,524 --> 00:16:07,444 Мы заслуживаем этого.
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,824 А ещё "говорите сейчас или же молчите навеки" для свадеб.
00:16:10,324 --> 00:16:13,574 Народ, я не для того выигрывал шоу "Самый сексуальный судья Америки",
00:16:13,574 --> 00:16:15,834 чтобы меня не уважали в собственном суде.
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:17,874 Что же касается приговора...
00:16:17,874 --> 00:16:19,124 Остановитесь.
00:16:20,164 --> 00:16:23,584 Я считаю, что Солнечные противоположности не заслуживают смерти.
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,424 Этого я не мог предугадать.
00:16:26,424 --> 00:16:28,804 Это чудовище с рёбрами, которое они запирали в подвале.
00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:30,094 Но нужно было держать лицо.
00:16:30,094 --> 00:16:31,884 Ну, типа, я же сексуальный судья.
00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:33,094 Говори свою правду, дружище.
00:16:33,094 --> 00:16:35,764 Да, они крайне, крайне ужасные люди,
00:16:35,764 --> 00:16:38,604 и поэтому они заслуживают что похуже смертной казни.
00:16:38,604 --> 00:16:40,984 Если они умрут, то будут страдать всего мгновение.
00:16:40,984 --> 00:16:42,984 Но если они выживут, то будут страдать от вины
00:16:42,984 --> 00:16:44,654 за содеянное всю жизнь.
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:46,654 О, как раз то, что нужно. Я очень виноват.
00:16:46,654 --> 00:16:49,194 Джордж, прости меня.
00:16:49,194 --> 00:16:51,324 Есть наказания, которые будут причинять боль
00:16:51,324 --> 00:16:52,654 дольше, чем убийства.
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:54,534 кое-что реально трэшовое.
00:16:54,534 --> 00:16:56,624 Вот, например, сейчас покажу. Тут видео с YouTube.
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:59,294 Срань Господня, мы такого даже в братстве никогда не делали!
00:16:59,294 --> 00:17:01,834 Ну, если только похожее. Покойся с миром, Брайс. Мы будем скучать.
00:17:02,124 --> 00:17:03,504 Раз это есть на YouTube, все плохо?
00:17:03,504 --> 00:17:05,504 Надеюсь, нас просто пощекочут.
00:17:06,334 --> 00:17:08,294 На инопланетян наденут перчатки,
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:10,134 в которых куча бразильских муравьев.
00:17:10,134 --> 00:17:12,554 Яд этих муравьев самый болезненный в мире,
00:17:12,554 --> 00:17:15,264 а в каждой перчатке более 500 муравьев.
00:17:15,264 --> 00:17:17,554 Боль будет длиться днями!
00:17:20,144 --> 00:17:22,394 - Я заслужил это! - Я тоже!
00:17:22,394 --> 00:17:23,734 Кусаются!
00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:25,564 Ха-ха, да!
00:17:43,084 --> 00:17:43,874 Мы сделали это!
00:17:45,544 --> 00:17:48,504 Мы научно переиграли этих сраных инопланетян!
00:17:48,504 --> 00:17:50,964 Это было чертовски сложно, но у нас получилось!
00:17:50,964 --> 00:17:53,134 Напомни-ка мне, как мы это сделали!
00:17:53,134 --> 00:17:54,764 Я использовала Лазер Замены Костей,
00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:58,054 чтобы превратить обычную свинью в рёберного монстра.
00:17:58,054 --> 00:18:00,934 Купила маски с лицами Солнечных противоположностей в Hulu Store's
00:18:00,934 --> 00:18:02,434 по большой скидке.
00:18:02,434 --> 00:18:05,694 Ещё я купила 15 членов, точнее - дилдо.
00:18:05,694 --> 00:18:07,854 Мэттью, гениальной идеей было
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,944 перенастроить праздничную пушку на 4 июля.
00:18:10,944 --> 00:18:12,694 Отлично. Приготовим рёбрышки.
00:18:12,694 --> 00:18:15,444 Какашки из капустного салата и маринад вместо слез.
00:18:18,574 --> 00:18:20,074 И, Роланд, отличное решение
00:18:20,074 --> 00:18:23,334 использовать Воскрешающий Лазер, чтобы завершить начатое.
00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:25,794 Срань Господня, я осознаю своё существование!
00:18:25,794 --> 00:18:28,504 - Тебя зовут Питер. - Пи-тер?
00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:30,924 - Чуваки, а вы знали... - Сегодня я извлёк урок.
00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:33,424 Я Терри! Я собираюсь пожарить пончики на заднем дворе!
00:18:33,424 --> 00:18:35,844 Я ослабила цепь во время
00:18:35,844 --> 00:18:38,264 нашего фальшивого семейного собрания, чтобы Питер сбежал.
00:18:41,014 --> 00:18:43,474 Теперь эти засранцы инопланетяне заплатят
00:18:43,474 --> 00:18:44,564 за все свои преступления!
00:18:44,564 --> 00:18:46,394 Сегодня победило человечество!
00:18:47,024 --> 00:18:49,234 Вот дерьмо! Что же я наделала?
00:18:49,234 --> 00:18:51,564 Господи, как больно!
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,984 Они как будто кусают по всему телу!
00:18:53,984 --> 00:18:55,114 И меня тоже!
00:18:55,114 --> 00:18:56,534 - Даже в мой внутренний глаз! - Но мы заслужили!
00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,614 Так нам и надо! - Мы куски дерьма!
00:18:58,614 --> 00:19:00,574 Мы огромные куски дерьмового дерьма!
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,744 Я больше никогда не буду плохим!
00:19:02,744 --> 00:19:04,454 Мы выучили, что такое эмпатия!
00:19:04,454 --> 00:19:05,704 Мы извлекли свой урок!
00:19:07,254 --> 00:19:08,924 Божечки, взгляните на футболку этого парня!
00:19:08,924 --> 00:19:11,384 Это пародия на "Мир Уэйна" что ли?
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,004 Тебя зовут Марк?
00:19:13,004 --> 00:19:15,054 Эти фильмы вышли миллион лет назад!
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:18,764 Ты что, лузер какой-то, чтобы лепить своё имя на футболку с "Миром Уэйна"?
00:19:18,764 --> 00:19:20,684 Ты - отстой! - Ну и позор!
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:22,224 Знаешь, ты настоящий идиот!
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:26,144 Глаза бы мои тебя не видели, убирайся отсюда, чертов псих!
00:19:26,144 --> 00:19:27,434 Терри прав, убирайся отсюда!
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,854 Эти муравьи так больно кусаются,
00:19:28,854 --> 00:19:31,024 но от обсирания людей мне становится легче!
00:19:32,564 --> 00:19:34,734 Вау, только посмотри на это.
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:37,444 С Днём Шерри всех.
00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:39,154 Просто идеально.
00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:42,784 С Днём Шерри тебя.
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:49,624 Я никогда никому не рассказывал, но это сжирает меня изнутри.
00:19:49,624 --> 00:19:53,214 Пора рассказать правду о смерти Шерри.
00:19:53,214 --> 00:19:56,094 То, что ты знаешь... это ложь.
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,714 Да, она была героиней, что помогла мне победить Герцога.
00:19:58,714 --> 00:20:02,684 Да, она была моей любовницей, и да, мы с ней много трахались.
00:20:02,684 --> 00:20:04,894 Её мокрая киска была... - Тим, прошу.
00:20:05,224 --> 00:20:07,974 Герцог не убивал её во время войны.
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,684 - Но как тогда... - Шерри увидела дыру,
00:20:09,684 --> 00:20:12,274 этот маленький кусочек голубого неба, и ей сорвало башню.
00:20:12,274 --> 00:20:13,524 Она стала нести какой-то бред.
00:20:13,524 --> 00:20:15,824 Она хотела заставить людей выйти во двор,
00:20:15,824 --> 00:20:17,734 чтобы их там сожрали совы.
00:20:17,734 --> 00:20:19,494 Я думал, мы с Шерри на одной стороне,
00:20:19,494 --> 00:20:21,704 но потом я понял, что она такая же, как Герцог.
00:20:21,704 --> 00:20:23,574 Оказалось, что они оба хотели хаоса
00:20:23,574 --> 00:20:25,374 и не думали о жизнях,
00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:26,994 которые могут сломать.
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:28,084 Она дралась со мной.
00:20:29,254 --> 00:20:30,964 И я убил Шерри.
00:20:32,294 --> 00:20:34,634 Я убил любовь всей своей жизни, чтобы спасти всех нас.
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,134 Нет... не говори так!
00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:38,674 Я не должен был поддерживать сторонников Герцога.
00:20:38,674 --> 00:20:41,554 Я всего-то сменил их названия на "охранников". Умно.
00:20:41,554 --> 00:20:44,684 Но все же я молчал про дыру, чтобы защитить людей.
00:20:44,684 --> 00:20:46,434 Зачем ты мне это рассказываешь?
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:48,014 Я никогда не хотел быть главным на Стене.
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,604 Это сильно давит.
00:20:49,604 --> 00:20:52,484 И я слишком долго тяну эту ношу один.
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:54,234 Теперь мы можем её разделить.
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:55,654 В каком смысле?
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:58,194 Предоставляю это тебе: ты можешь рассказать всем правду.
00:20:58,194 --> 00:21:01,194 И жизнь изменится, станет сложнее. Но такова жизнь.
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:03,534 Или ты можешь помочь мне сохранить тайну.
00:21:03,534 --> 00:21:07,244 Мы утаим все, что натворил Итан, и жизнь продолжится.
00:21:07,244 --> 00:21:09,244 В любом случае, приятно быть не единственным,
00:21:09,244 --> 00:21:11,044 кто все знает.
00:21:11,914 --> 00:21:14,294 Итак, Халк... Что собираешься сделать?
00:21:16,634 --> 00:21:20,844 Жители Стены! Добро пожаловать на первый ежегодный День Шерри!
00:21:22,344 --> 00:21:25,474 Прежде чем мы почтим память павшей героини,
00:21:25,474 --> 00:21:27,894 у нас есть важное объявление.
00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:29,854 Но услышите вы его не от меня.
00:21:31,894 --> 00:21:33,894 Мы поймали убийцу.
00:21:33,894 --> 00:21:34,854 Это был...
00:21:37,984 --> 00:21:41,864 подлый сверчок, пробравшийся в Стену.
00:21:43,574 --> 00:21:45,784 Отлично! Спасибо, Халк!
00:21:45,784 --> 00:21:47,784 Ты снова стал героем.
00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:50,124 Теперь мы можем вернуться к жизни, зная, что
00:21:50,124 --> 00:21:53,544 теперь в Стене стало ещё безопаснее!
00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:54,504 За Шерри!
00:21:54,504 --> 00:21:56,544 Шерри! Шерри!
00:21:56,544 --> 00:21:57,884 Шерри!
00:21:57,884 --> 00:21:59,714 Шерри! Шерри!
00:21:59,714 --> 00:22:01,714 Шерри! Шерри!

00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,718 This place is amazing.
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,554 How do they keep incrementally improving products year after year?
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,723 The Apple Pencil Pro is far superior
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,808 to last year's disgusting obsolete Apple Pencil.
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,352 The new one can write in cursive.
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,979 I literally saw Emily Dickinson writing poetry with it,
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:23,524 in the Apple TV+ show <i>Dickinson</i> on my Apple TV.
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,109 They have a YouTube branded Wi-Fi router.
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,402 Wow! It's red!
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,112 For every four bars of signal you get,
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,323 Bono sends a pair of shoes to a sea turtle.
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,950 Hey. You looking for a repair or...
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,285 Fetch me an Apple Pencil Pro, Apple servant.
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,246 You got it. You want a charging necklace too?
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,248 The pencil runs out of batteries very fast.
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,001 - Get away from me! - Oh, my God, Pete. You okay?
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,088 These are the psycho aliens that tortured me in their dungeon.
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,882 That's impossible. We turned our dungeon into a Florida room.
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,968 We've never even met this fucking freak show.
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,636 - Hello, sir. - Don't touch me!
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,346 Siri, call the cops.
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,515 <i>Playing Destiny's Child.</i>
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,479 That's them.
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,652 He doesn't have a hole.
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,445 We'll just have to make one.
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,572 Hey, how's it going?
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,994 The Solar Opposites are going to jail.
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:22,332 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,085 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants</i>
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,504 <i>were issued a Pupa and escaped into the space,</i>
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,215 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,802 <i>We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,679 <i>That's right. I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,472 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.</i>
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,391 <i>This is my show. I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,226 <i>Do you see me? This is ridiculous.</i>
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,563 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,315 <i>Do they like Brendan Fraser or not?</i>
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,983 <i>He's a good guy. Give him a chance.</i>
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,580 Chris Zakowski, 35.
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,498 Mandy Sinclair, 28.
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,709 Jeffrey Dean Dorgan, 33.
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,212 Agnes Peterboard, 75 years old.
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,255 Tomorrow would have been her birthday.
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,133 Cool list, bro. I take my coffee with a splash of mouse milk.
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:16,094 Maybe you don't understand what's happening here. You're done.
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,513 I know you killed them.
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:20,557 I was an executive story editor on <i>Bones</i> Seasons Five through Nine.
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:24,061 And let me tell you, friend, that's a season wrap on Ethan.
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,105 You never even got a bump to co-producer? Pathetic.
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,441 I bet they just stuck you in the <i>Bones</i> joke room.
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,985 We didn't have a joke room. It was an innuendo room,
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,820 and I was only there for the back nine.
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,699 If you ever want to see the halogen reptile lamp
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,285 that Yumyulack uses to simulate the light of day again,
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,954 you better start cooperating.
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,831 Buddy, you got it all wrong.
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,334 I'm gonna be walking out of here and you're not.
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,962 You think Tim and the Walldermen are just gonna let you go?
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:54,466 Oh, yeah, babe. Without me, Tim is nothing. Nada, zero, zilch.
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,551 Oh, wow!
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:58,178 I didn't realize I was talking to someone so important.
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:02,015 You think Jesse gives us Clif Bars, chewable Tylenol and Dasani water?
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:06,812 Come on. All that protein and medicine that you're used to, this guy.
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,606 So, I'm supposed to believe you're killing people during the week,
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,234 then turning big and running errands on the weekends?
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,652 Oh, my God, you're so stupid.
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,904 Listen. There is a hole in the top of The Wall.
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,823 It's been there since before the war.
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,033 The Duke would use it to bring in extra supplies
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,785 to keep control of the population.
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,037 A top secret hole that we could use to escape, huh?
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,790 You have quite the imagination, murderer.
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,625 Broheim had an Amazon Fresh subscription.
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,503 They'd throw deliveries on the roof and I'd climb out to get them.
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:34,339 Now I do the same thing for my close personal friend, Tim.
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,425 I'm sick of this bullshit!
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,845 There's no hole in The Wall, and I won't let you drag Tim's good name.
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,138 In the before-before-time,
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,682 I was a rock climbing instructor at Bally's Total Fitness.
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:44,808 Outside The Wall,
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,519 the only thing I used to murder was indoor climbing walls.
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:48,729 And I care why?
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,356 Once I got in here, it's so much temptation.
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,027 You know, so many potential victims and no rock climbing to distract me.
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,071 At first, I was going to kill myself. That way I wouldn't murder anyone.
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,574 But then you saved me.
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,993 - What? - You don't remember, do you?
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,288 I'm the one who started the flooding of the Nerds.
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,586 <i>My plan was to die in that Nerd pile</i>
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,546 <i>and finally escape my impulses.</i>
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,593 <i>But then, you saved me.</i>
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,352 - Oh, my God. - That's when I knew I was special.
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,812 You saved me so I could fulfil my destiny.
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,106 - I'm a god. - Shut up.
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,316 I'm a god!
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,779 - Let's go. Let's do this. - Well, that's my ride.
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,241 Let's say there is some big conspiracy to help you kill innocent people.
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,327 But now you've told me the whole plan, Mr. Total Fitness,
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,662 so what happens next?
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,747 I don't know. They'll probably kill you,
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,666 - and then blame it on a cricket. - What?
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,709 How the hell do you know about the cricket?
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,962 These guys aren't exactly creative geniuses.
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,422 They always just blame it on a cricket.
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,384 Has anyone mistreated you here?
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,594 I'm not saying anything until our lawyer gets here.
00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:05,848 Oh, my God. I'm your lawyer. How many times must we go over this?
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,724 Objection overruled, I rest my case.
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,103 This isn't even a trial. Forget it. Let me walk you through the accusations.
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,522 And I gotta say they seem very specific.
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,275 According to Peter, the Okja-type character,
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,318 this all started off when Korvo got annoyed
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:22,322 at an annual ribfest-styled block party on the street outside your house.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,911 Pupa, put those ribs down.
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,621 Goddammit, I hate this stupid ribfest.
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,915 There's nowhere to park, they play rib-jams all day,
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,751 and some guy who is not me always wins the best ribs competition.
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,545 Why can't Korvo be a winner for once?
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,673 You know, Korvo, you can take some barbecue classes at The Learning Annex,
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,509 or watch some YouTube videos, chef-nap Paula Deen.
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:45,220 Kidnapping people takes too long. I'll just use sci-fi shit.
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:47,931 <i>The prosecution claims Korvo created a giant pig thing</i>
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,018 <i>that self-cooked racks of award-winning ribs out of its chest,</i>
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,604 <i>whose blood tasted like delicious barbecue sauce,</i>
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,939 <i>and when struck, shat out all the fixins.</i>
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,400 <i>Damn it. That sounds like something I would do.</i>
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,902 <i>Right down to the fixin' shits.</i>
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:03,030 Where am I? What am I? Are you my dad?
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,449 Help! No!
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,535 Mmm! That's good rib.
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,454 Could use a little barbecue sauce, though.
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:11,872 Oh, no!
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,374 <i>Korvo won five straight ribfest gold medals,</i>
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:18,003 <i>dethroning Lizzo's cousin Ribo as the ribfest champion.</i>
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,087 Please let me go.
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:22,257 I need a potluck-worth of your shit for a church event tonight.
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:25,344 Korvo, wait. I need Peter to help me with my math homework.
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,679 He's not gonna be able to focus if he's screaming.
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,723 What's the X in this equation? Tell me!
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,518 Hi, guys, are we having a... Oh, my God, what's that?
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,145 Please, little girl. These guys are crazy. You gotta help me.
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,897 Don't worry little guy. Jesse is here.
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,273 You have to let him go.
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:41,485 You can't just keep a creature trapped in your basement and torture it.
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,863 You clearly don't understand how important it is to win rib contests.
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:47,908 Oh, God.
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,868 Come watch me do donuts on the front lawn.
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,371 I finally figured it out. Turns out it's a circle.
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,497 - All right. - Awesome!
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,217 <i>Peter escaped while you were distracted by the donuts.</i>
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,178 He spent a few nights in the woods, then he moved on with his life.
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,763 Got his MFA in interpretive dance,
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,056 couldn't find work, duh.
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,142 So, he got a job at the Apple Store with all the other MFAs.
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:17,062 That story really did sound like something we would do. Right?
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,398 Yeah, it feels like something we'd pitch to Hulu
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,775 and they'd say, "We don't understand, but go for it."
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:24,236 But I don't remember any of it. I never went to a ribfest
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,321 or met this delicious rib-looking Peter guy.
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:29,449 Just because the story sounded like us doesn't mean we did it.
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,368 Yeah, we 're good people. Remember that time
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,829 we turned that homeless guy's blood into vitamin water?
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,290 Or when we killed millions of bees so people won't get stung?
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,750 Yeah, we invented vaping. That has to count for something.
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:41,920 You're both right. We're great. This was 100% not us.
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,047 Well, Peter is a convincing witness.
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,008 He's a big alien thing and you're aliens.
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,843 It's not hard to think that you did this.
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,178 What does that mean for us?
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,971 It means you're fucked.
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,642 This is your last chance to let me go, buddy.
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,978 They're coming. Do you feel they're coming?
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,813 It's all over you. Get ready. That hurt.
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,192 Halk, calm down, big guy. Don't do anything crazy.
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,194 - Just put the Ring Pop knife down. - Stay back.
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,528 Let me kill him, please.
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,988 - What are you doing? - He's the killer.
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,074 The seven was an L. It was upside down. He lived in a fortune cookie.
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,201 What are you talking about?
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,827 If you caught the real killer, great.
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,288 But if you kill him, it'll make you a killer too.
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,749 Stay back. Don't take another fucking step.
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,585 I bet prison isn't all that bad.
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,296 I just have to bide my time until I go to the Sorting Hat.
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,464 Know what I'm saying?
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,883 You're confusing prison with the <i>Harry Potter</i> movies.
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,427 Don't make assumptions. He might have read the book.
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,762 Fuck you. Even if he had,
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:34,389 he couldn't avoid the cultural impact of the movie.
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,099 Come on. You wanna fight me?
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,560 Does this mean I don't get to be in Hufflepuff?
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,230 Ow! Argh!
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,397 God!
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,899 What the fuck?
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:47,528 Oh, no, please tell me you got a backup crack pipe inside that butt.
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,197 How does everyone in this prison have so many shivs?
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,574 They teach us shiv-making class on weekends.
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,368 - Why? - You know what they say.
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,578 Give a man a shiv, he shivs for a day.
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,372 Now, teach a man to shiv...
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,916 This place is horrible. There is hardly any sushi,
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,793 the guy making the sushi is a rapist,
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,337 and he charges airport prices before he shivs you.
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,756 This is fucking bullshit. We didn't do this to Peter.
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,676 We're nice, Pupa-fearing, Fox News-believing members of society.
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:11,802 How did we get here then?
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,097 There's only one explanation. The Solar Opposites are getting set up.
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,182 Someone wanted to take us down.
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,434 It's a conspiracy and we can't trust anyone.
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:22,187 - You think Peter's the mastermind? - No way. Peter's the best.
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:23,814 He has the face and ribs of an angel.
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,525 How could you say that, after everything Peter's been through?
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,402 Seriously, Terry? Go fuck yourself.
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,946 If sweet angel Peter didn't do it, who did?
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,824 Is there someone in our world we offended in some way?
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,702 Last week, Yumyulack and I didn't want to take a History test.
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,161 <i>so we used the Bone Changer Ray</i>
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,498 <i>to turn Miss Frankie's bones into metal like Marvel's Wolverine.</i>
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,709 - What's happening to me? - Hello, sweetie.
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,753 Did you forget to take your keys out of your pocket again?
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,092 Jesus, that's grim. Must have been Miss Frankie.
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:55,137 Hold on. There was also this thing with Roland last Tuesday.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,388 <i>I just watched</i> Toy Story 4,
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,141 <i>and I thought it'd be fun to make someone's toys come alive.</i>
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,435 <i>So, I zapped this guy's stuff with our Make Alive Ray.</i>
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,188 Live motherfuckers. Live!
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,481 Why is my stuff alive? What's happening?
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,402 That's messed up, Terry. But another viable suspect.
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,778 - It could also be Matthew. - Who?
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,323 He's the neighborhood fuckboy who hates me for no reason.
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,657 He's kind of my nemesis.
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,368 Matthew told me I wasn't allowed to wear Christmas sweaters
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,455 because I don't know anything about Christmas, whatever the fuck that is.
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,541 <i>So I decided to shoot him with the Sci-fi Holiday Cannon.</i>
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:29,755 Oh, God. No! I can't feel my soul!
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,342 Who doesn't know about Christmas now, you fuck?
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,969 We just flashed back to three really good options
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,221 for who's framing us.
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,306 Honestly, there could be hundreds more.
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,726 Guys, stop. Think about it. There's no way humans could do this.
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,729 - They're dumb as fuck. - Yum's right. They hella dumb.
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,813 They're so budget.
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,815 Stop trying to make "budget" the new "basic".
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:51,235 But yes, in this one instance, they are budget.
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,778 But someone did this to us.
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,572 Someone who's smart, powerful, handsome, loves animals,
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,283 has cheekbones for days, lots of time on their hands.
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,993 Who could it be?
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,787 - Obama! - Dora the Explorer!
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,039 Yes! Obama, the pride of Occidental College.
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:07,334 Motherfucker's been on our shit ever since we out-windsurfed him in Cabo.
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,461 We have to break out and clear our names.
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:12,631 Hurray! The Solar Opposites are staging a breakout.
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,427 - Pupa, you up? - Yes.
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,821 - Ta-da! - Pupa!
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,286 - Yes! - Yes!
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,331 All right, the cops are after us. That's enough <i>Shawshank-ing.</i>
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,667 Wait. What the hell are these?
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,545 - Oh, God. Oh, no. <i>-You're surrounded.</i>
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,880 <i>Come out with your hands up!</i>
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,673 Let's grab our stuff and get out of here.
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,842 No, no, no. Look at the ribbons and the certificates.
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,051 Look at the fucking trophies.
00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,970 But I thought you didn't win any rib contest.
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,430 We must have erased our minds.
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,640 We did do all that horrible stuff to Pete.
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,142 Oh, God, we're monsters!
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,853 No way. We're always using sci-fi stuff to help people.
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,771 No, we don't. We're cowards and sneaky shits
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,523 who use sci-fi to make our lives easier.
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,733 No one was setting us up.
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:15,027 We really just are horrible people. I mean, aliens.
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:18,739 <i>Guys! This is your final warning, before things get all "pew, pew, pew".</i>
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,490 <i>What? People don't get that?</i>
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:21,700 <i>Just to be clear,</i>
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,494 <i>"pew, pew, pew" means we're gonna be shooting bullets out of guns,</i>
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,497 <i>not</i> Star Wars <i>lasers. You guys got that, right?</i>
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:30,042 We're guilty of a lot, but we can pay the price for Peter.
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,044 We have to get arrested and go back to prison.
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:36,340 Hurray! The Solar Opposites are taking responsibility!
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:40,219 - Don't shoot. We're coming out. - Hold your pew-pews.
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,577 - Tim! - What the hell?
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,621 Halk Hogam. What are you doing here?
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,414 - We need to talk. - Of course.
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,500 Anything for the hero of Wall War I.
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,335 Don't listen to him. He's gone crazy.
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:16,129 - He's trying to ruin Cherie Day. - I've got the real murderer.
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,340 He claims to be a runner who goes outside the Wall
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,550 for celery sticks and gum.
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,802 He says you and the Walldermen protect him.
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,971 What the hell? You told me it was a cricket.
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,806 They were trying to feed me that line, too.
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:29,101 So this is the man who's been terrorizing my utopia.
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,104 Yes. You assholes, I told you Tim would want justice.
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,857 My sweet Ethan. You're supposed to help me.
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,192 - What did you do, you stupid boy? - Wait, what?
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,611 I've been making The Wall a better place for all of us.
00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:40,696 You knew?
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,949 I've known Ethan for a long time.
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,410 And yes, there is a hole in the Wall.
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,703 There is a way out.
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,290 My God.
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,666 Ethan does runs for me.
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,711 He gets medicine, food, using a system The Duke set up.
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,546 But I didn't know he was killing people.
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,715 I was just exerting my will as a god.
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,176 Hey, would you tell him, you guys, that I'm a god.
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,011 You guys knew this was happening?
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,929 We just did what we thought you'd want.
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:09,016 We were shielding you from the truth so you could focus on leading us.
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,977 What you've done goes against everything we have fought for.
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,354 But I know your hearts are in the right place.
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:15,856 - I won't punish you. - What?
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,566 That's not the way of The Wall.
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,277 - Fuck no! They just can't walk away. - Thank you, Tim.
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,363 But Ethan, we have to lock you up. It's for your own good, my son.
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:24,573 You can't lock me up
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,034 'cause I'll just escape and I'll kill all of you.
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,243 Because I am a god.
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,579 Halk, please let Ethan go with the Walldermen.
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123 You have my word he won't hurt anyone else.
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,585 Ow!
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,504 Take him to the holding chamber.
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,924 I can get out of anything.
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,301 I command you to release me.
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,470 Let me go.
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,599 What's that?
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,267 Tim, what are you doing?
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,394 Take the carb out, man. Let us out.
00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:57,439 I can't. You let Ethan get away with sullying The Wall.
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,650 The blood is on all your tiny hands.
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,109 - Farewell, my friends. - No, no.
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,780 Oh, no!
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,281 Magic Shell!
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:11,578 Not like this!
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:13,997 No, no, no, no. No, no, Tim.
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,667 Tim, I can stop killing. I'm... I'm better now.
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,168 No, no!
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,512 I had no choice. They were part of the old way,
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:32,140 part of the problem. But you, Halk, you can be part of the solution.
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:33,308 Walk with me.
00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:35,185 Even if you didn't know Ethan was a killer,
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,813 you've kept the secret of the hole this entire time.
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:41,233 I'm not asking you to give me your trust, but I owe you the truth.
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,442 All of it.
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,653 Hear me out, then decide what you wanna do.
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,659 Terry, Korvo, Yumyulack, Jesse,
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,578 I find you guilty on all counts.
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,705 I recommend you to be put to death.
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,456 If anyone has an issue with this,
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,584 speak now or forever hold your peace.
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:00,544 I have something to say.
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,131 Terry, the replicants and I have talked,
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,508 and we believe that we should be sentenced to death.
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:07,593 We deserve it.
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,512 Also, "speak now and forever hold your peace" is for weddings.
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:13,682 Folks, I didn't win the hit ABC reality show <i>America's Sexiest Judge</i>
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,851 just to be disrespected in my own court space.
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:18,478 - Now, for the deets on the execush... - Stop!
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,567 I believe the Solar Opposites don't deserve to die.
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,693 Whoa!
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,153 I did not see that coming.
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:29,072 It was that big rib monster they trapped in the basement.
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,909 But I had to keep it cool. I mean, I was the sexy judge.
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,118 Speak your truth, homie.
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:35,537 Yes, they are really, really terrible people.
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:38,832 Which is why they deserve something worse than the death penalty.
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,001 If they die, they'll only suffer for a moment.
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,922 But if they live, they'll have to suffer the guilt of what they've done forever.
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,840 We can do that. I feel totes guilty.
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:49,092 George, I am so sorry.
00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,595 There are punishments that'll keep them in pain
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,473 way longer than killing them. Some real fucked-up stuff.
00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,683 Like here. Check out this video on YouTube.
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,269 Holy fuck, we never even did that at my frat.
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,855 We did get close though. RIP Bryce. We miss you.
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:05,526 If it's on YouTube, how bad can it be? I bet it's just weird tickling.
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:10,280 The aliens are going to put on gloves filled with Brazilian bullet ants.
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,616 The ants have the most painful venom on Earth.
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,202 And each glove has over 500 ants.
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,287 The pain lasts for days.
00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:22,376 - I deserve this. - Me, too!
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:43,939 We did it!
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:48,485 We out sci-fied those piece-of-shit aliens.
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,737 It was complicated as hell, but we did it.
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:53,532 I can't remember. Can you tell us how we did it again?
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,076 I used the Bone Changer Ray to turn a regular pig
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,953 <i>into that giant rib-filled monster.</i>
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,913 <i>I brought some Solar Opposites masks</i>
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:02,374 <i>from the Hulu stores going-out-of-business sale.</i>
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,419 <i>I also got 15</i> PEN15 <i>pens that are also dildos.</i>
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:07,546 <i>Matthew, it was a genius idea</i>
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,883 <i>to switch the Holiday Spirit Cannon to Fourth of July mode.</i>
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,593 <i>That's right. Pre-cooked ribs,</i>
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:15,429 coleslaw poop, and salt-rub tears.
00:18:18,599 --> 00:18:20,100 <i>And, Roland, excellent call</i>
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:23,187 <i>to use the Make Alive Ray to really land the plane.</i>
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,439 Holy fuck. I'm aware of my existence.
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:26,690 Your name's Peter.
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,317 Peter?
00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,652 Geez, don't you know ice hockey?
00:18:30,736 --> 00:18:32,237 - Give me your pot. - I'm Terry.
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:33,739 I'm gonna do donuts in the yard.
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:37,576 <i>It was so easy to leave the harness unbuckled during our fake family meeting</i>
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,036 <i>so Peter could escape.</i>
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,541 Now those bitch-ass aliens can pay for all their crimes.
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,586 Today, humanity wins!
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,254 Shit! What have I done?
00:18:49,338 --> 00:18:54,551 The pain! I can feel in my organs.
00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:56,595 I'll get you.
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,514 - We needed it. - We're pieces of shit.
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,390 We're big pieces of shitty shit.
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:02,643 We'll never be mean again.
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,520 We'll learn how to have empathy.
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:06,271 We learned our lesson.
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,107 Oh, my God. Look at this guy's shirt.
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,318 That supposed to be a <i>Wayne's World</i> parody?
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,402 Is your name Mark?
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,364 Those movies came out a million years ago.
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:18,784 What kind of loser gets his name added to a <i>Wayne's World</i> shirt?
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,619 - You suck. - That's so embarrassing.
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,829 You're a real fucking idiot, you know that?
00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,206 I can't even look at you.
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,083 Get out of here, you fucking freak!
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,043 Terry's right. Get out of here.
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,169 These ants feel bad,
00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:31,380 but shitting on humans almost evens it out.
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,760 Oh, wow. Look at this. Good Cherie Day, everyone.
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,137 That's perfect.
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,597 Wow!
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,683 Good Cherie Day to you.
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,690 I've never told anyone this, but it's been eating away at me.
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:53,360 Now is the time to tell the true story of Cherie's death.
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,529 The story you know, it's a lie.
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,699 Yes, she was a hero who helped me defeat The Duke.
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,158 Yes, she was my lover,
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,578 and, yes, we had a bunch of sex.
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,913 - Pussy was popping. It was... - Tim, please.
00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:08,000 - The Duke didn't kill her during the war. - But then how...
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:11,211 Cherie, she sees this hole, this little piece of blue sky,
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:13,547 and she snaps. She started talking crazy.
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,008 She wants to force people out into the backyard
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,634 to let them get eaten by owls.
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,553 I thought Cherie and I were on the same page,
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,597 but I realized she was just like The Duke.
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,557 In the end, they both wanted chaos,
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,060 and didn't stop to think about the lives they would ruin on the way.
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:28,520 She fought me.
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,689 And I killed Cherie.
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,651 I killed the love of my life to save us all.
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,153 No, don't say that.
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,655 I should've never kept The Duke's enforcers in power.
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,742 All I did was change their name to "The Walldermen". Clever.
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:44,703 The point of keeping the hole a secret was to protect people.
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,205 Why are you telling me this?
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:49,458 I never asked to be in charge of this Wall. It weighs on a man.
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:52,461 And I've been carrying that weight alone for far too long.
00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,296 Now, we can bear it together.
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,632 - What do you mean? - I leave it up to you.
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,217 You can tell everyone the truth.
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,011 Life will change. It might be hard. But that's life.
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,555 Or, you can help me cover this up.
00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:06,975 We'll hide what Ethan did, and life can continue.
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:11,063 Either way, it feels good to not be the man on top of it all.
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,149 So Halk, what are you gonna do?
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:21,281 Wallians, welcome to the first annual Cherie Day!
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:25,369 Before we get to celebrating our fallen hero,
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,913 there is an important announcement to make.
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,957 But you won't be hearing it from me.
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,920 We captured the murderer. It was...
00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:41,343 A rogue cricket who got in The Wall.
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:45,722 That's right. Thank you, Halk.
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,724 You're a hero once again.
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:53,438 We can now go back to life knowing The Wall is safer than ever before.
00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:56,567 For Cherie. Cherie. Cherie.
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,737 Cherie! Cherie! Cherie!

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