Триангулятор конечностей

00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005

♪

00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007

♪

00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:11,512

♪ light tune playing ♪

00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:15,307

‐ Dale, you've been staring

at that Rolo lava cake

00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,725

for 20 minutes.

00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,685

This isn't a library.

‐ [strained voice] I got it.

00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,436

[grunts]

00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,522

Three packets,

Sugar in the Raw.

00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,649

‐ That's how I like my sugar... raw.

00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:24,858

[nervous chuckle]

00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,070

‐ This has been a wonderful

platonic exchange.

00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,781

I will see you next week.

[continues chuckling]

00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:34,785

♪

00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,620

[both chuckle]

00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,621

Come on.

00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,254

‐ Hey, where are we going?

Only weirdos live down here.

00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,047

‐ Just a little further.

00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,175

Last one in's a rotten Skittle!

00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,553

[Allie screams]

00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,389

[both moan]

00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,349

‐ Wait, is it safe down here?

00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,351

‐ Why, are you afraid of tiny sharks?

00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,478

‐ [gasps] Mark!

00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,647

Oh god, you jerk.

00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,858

Don't do tha‐‐ ow.

00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:08,485

‐ You okay?

‐ Yeah, I just felt a ‐‐ Ow!

00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,195

[screaming]

‐ Allie!

00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,992

Oh my god, Allie!

00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,954

No, no, noooo!

00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,125

♪

00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,334

KORVO:

Everybody buckled in?

00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,794

‐ You bet!

‐ Shut the fuck up real quick.

00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,588

I have a brief kick‐ass speech

to make.

00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,756

Ahem.

The ship is repaired again,

00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,468

and we are finally able to leave

this M‐class hellhole for good!

00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,970

Thank you.

‐ We did this last year.

00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,847

‐ "Blah blah blah, Earth sucks,

00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,473

sci‐fi sci‐fi, we're leaving."

00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,642

‐ Boo! Change the channel! This sucks!

‐ Who did this? Who did that?

00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,393

‐ Oh, this shit's happening.

00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,604

AISHA,

Activate pre‐launch sequence now!

00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,815

AISHA: First off, who do you think

you talking to with that tone?

00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,692

Second: Activated.

00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,278

Pssh, talkin' 'bout "now," bitch.

00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,363

‐ This truly is a momentous day

for all of us,

00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,282

but mostly for me

because I am mission leader

00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,242

and I did all the work

while you guys totally shat the bed.

00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,243

[engines powering off, rapid beeping]

00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,787

AISHA: Launch aborted.

Some crew are not on board.

00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,290

‐ What are you talking about,

we're all buckled in and‐‐ Oh!

00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,001

‐ Yay, Korvo!

00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,212

‐ Dammit, I always fall for the Talkboy.

00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:13,217

AISHA: Ha! You got Shawshanked,

Ferris Bueller'd, and Gallaghered!

00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,676

[AISHA laughs]

[Korvo grunts]

00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,596

[all laughing, shouting]

00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,014

‐ Infinite slip and slide?

00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,683

Come on! You know I can't launch the ship

unless you guys are on‐‐

00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,436

Gah! Oh, my foot!

It's dissolved into goo!

00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,063

Why don't you care? Look at me!

00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,773

Stop having fun! I'm melting!

00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,609

This is what we're doing today,

figuring this out! Stop that!

00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,612

KORVO:

Planet Shlorp was the perfect utopia

00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,572

until the asteroid hit.

00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,159

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a pupa

00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,286

and escaped into... the space

00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,622

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:47,292

We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,002

That's right. I've been talking

this whole time.

00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,796

I'm the one holding the pupa.

My name's Korvo.

00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,215

This is‐‐ this is my show.

I just dropped the pupa. Do you see me?

00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,550

[stammers]

This is ridiculous.

00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,468

I hate Earth.

It's a horrible home.

00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,886

People are stupid and confusing.

00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,097

They're always ordering

these complicated coffee drinks.

00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,349

Why would you ever have coffee

when you can just ingest

00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,434

a room temperature,

tan‐colored Energon cone?

00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,311

Don't talk to me

until I've had my tan cone.

00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,439

♪

00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,945

‐ You want me

to drain your bucket?

00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,321

‐ No. That's still me in there.

00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,823

And yes, I know it smells like shit.

00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,074

‐ Hi, folks. Sorry for the wait.

00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:22,035

Prom season, tons of abortions today.

Busy, busy, busy.

00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,829

Now before I give you our diagnosis,

00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,331

are you certain

you don't have any alien technology

00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,166

that you'd rather use to evaluate this?

00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,585

‐ We decided to change it up

for once.

00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,211

We go to the ship

with problems a lot.

00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,337

‐ A lot!

00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,299

‐ Well, they don't exactly teach

"alien goo" in medical school,

00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,552

but I found some articles about dog herpes

that seemed to line up.

00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,263

Korvo, you have what we call

"Alpha DNA."

00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,933

The building blocks of your cells

have receptors that are only activated

00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,685

if the pack are fulfilling their roles.

00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,103

‐ Wait, are we the pack?

00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,771

‐ That doesn't sound right.

‐ Pack of smokeshows, baby!

00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,482

‐ Once your team's failure

continues long enough,

00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,235

the receptors decay,

triggering a "goo sequence"

00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,738

designed to kill you so the next dog,

00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,740

or alien in line, can take over.

00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,490

Isn't that funny?

00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,576

‐ You lazy idiots

are literally killing me!

00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,077

‐ Well, luckily it's reversible,

00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,997

but only if these dummies

do their respective jobs

00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:07,956

in a serious way.

00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,374

‐ What? I can't rely on them!

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,335

Fuck that, fill me with chemo.

I want the chemo.

00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:14,588

‐ They really don't like us

to throw chemo at family issues.

00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:18,175

‐ Okay, I got you set up on the couch here

with plenty of fluids:

00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,177

root beer, Sunny D, and piss.

00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,471

‐ Is the piss hot?

I want hot piss.

00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,681

‐ Gonna get this good and tight

00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,975

so none of your stinky goo drips out.

00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,894

Don't think of it as a trash bag,

00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,437

it's more of a whole‐body diaper.

00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,439

‐ I know why you fucks

are being nice to me.

00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,899

You feel bad.

Well, shove it.

00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:36,318

Your guilty feelings

can't solidify my legs!

00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:37,986

[gulps]

00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,072

‐ Okay, I know this is very unlike me,

00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,491

but I'm feeling guilty

over melting Korvo with my laziness.

00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,659

‐ Yeah, me too.

00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,911

Maybe we should just do

some mission stuff,

00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,704

just like enough so he can get better.

00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,123

‐ To piggyback off your pitch

with a slight twist,

00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,835

what if we let Korvo melt

but also did whatever we wanted?

00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,419

‐ See, what I like about that

00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,296

is then we wouldn't have

to do our jobs.

00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,422

Great collab, Terry.

00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,300

‐ Guys! We are not letting Korvo

turn to goo.

00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,010

We should at least put him

out of his misery.

00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,263

‐ Can someone please refill my piss?

00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,055

[gasps]

00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,140

‐ We can't kill Korvo!

Who would wash my t‐shirts?

00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,018

‐ He does buy all the groceries

and hide all the bodies.

00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,062

‐ Crap, without him,

we'd have to do the chores.

00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,856

‐ Okay, let's just do

our mission roles more,

00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,732

but only enough to not have

to take out the trash.

00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,526

‐ Easy‐peasy.

‐ We've got this!

00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,487

‐ Do you two even know

what your mission roles are?

00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,989

‐ Zero fucking clue.

‐ I cannot say that I do.

00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,908

‐ AISHA, please explain to the replicants

what their mission roles are.

00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,494

And you know what? Let's, um,

let's just run through mine, too, for fun.

00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,537

In detail, por favor.

00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,622

AISHA: Should I just play

the orientation crystals?

00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,207

‐ Orientation crystals?

00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,668

Oh, that sounds like some shit

we should have watched already.

00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,461

AISHA:

They were meant to be viewed daily.

00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,713

Dumbass.

00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:41,008

♪ ethereal music ♪

00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,886

♪

00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:44,887

[pulsing]

00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,931

‐ In these first moments of your mission,

00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,516

remember what is at stake.

00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,018

Shlorp is depending on your‐‐

00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,394

‐ Ugh. Boring, boring, boring.

[video fast‐forwards]

00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,397

‐ Yumyulack,

protector and head of security.

00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,149

You ward off any threats to the mission.

00:05:57,149 --> 00:06:00,444

Strong and fierce, willing to die

so the team can live.

00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,487

‐ Let's put "willing to die" down

as a maybe.

00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,239

‐ Jesse, the chronicler.

Be observant.

00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,701

Record your adventures with clarity,

both in triumph and defeat

00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,454

so future Shlorpians

learn from your mistakes.

00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:14,041

‐ Whoa! I'm like the J. K. Rowling

of this pack! Crucio!

00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,918

SHLORPIAN GENERAL:

Terry, your job is most important.

00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,420

Because the Pupa will grow up

to terraform your new planet,

00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,671

you must nurture him.

00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,216

For as the Pupa specialist,

he is your responsibility‐‐

00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,718

‐ Hold the fuck on. I'm supposed

to be taking care of the Pupa?

00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,887

‐ Korvo says that all the time, Terry!

00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:27,888

‐ Yeah, this isn't news.

00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,766

‐ I'm not ready to raise a Pupa!

I'm still finding myself!

00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,100

I wanna go to Cabo, dammit!

00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,394

‐ You want some crackers to go

with your wine, Terry?

00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,104

Being responsible is scary.

00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,233

But it's time to grow up

and start working on the mission.

00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,401

For Korvo!

BOTH: For Korvo!

00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,612

[laughing, shouting]

00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,738

‐ What the hell are you doing?

00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,157

‐ Oh shit, we forgot

about the Korvo thing!

00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,742

‐ Earth is too distracting for us.

00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,826

‐ We can't do our jobs here,

00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,745

not with all the trap queens

in need of hyping.

00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,997

I gotta park that big Mack truck

right in that little garage.

00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,251

‐ Well, if we're going to focus,

we gotta do it on a new planet.

00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,587

‐ Good. AISHA, initiate the pre‐launch

before these idiots change their minds.

00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,631

AISHA:

Fine. The shit is initiated.

00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,424

‐ Launch time, baby!

[engine shutting down, rapid beeping]

00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,009

AISHA:

Not all the crew is accounted for.

00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,135

‐ Fuckers!

00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,679

Wait, but everyone's here.

00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:11,390

AISHA: Un‐unh.

All crew means all body parts

00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,308

that got severed

and left around town.

00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,560

‐ Wait, what?

AISHA: Go get your dick.

00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,395

‐ Has anyone been leaving

body parts around?

00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,522

‐ I mean, yeah.

I live a full and rich life.

00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,983

‐ You think my calendar's so open

that I can just pick up

00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,526

my own body parts all day?

00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,318

Wrong!

00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,362

‐ Don't look at me.

I keep my shit toight!

00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,948

‐ Activate the Shlorpian

Extremity Triangulater.

00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,449

[beeping, whirring]

00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,785

It scans the planet for Shlorpian flesh.

00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,579

Creepy, but perfect for this moment.

00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,330

I'm clean, all my pieces are on the ship.

00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,294

Oh! You've been dropping your limbs

all over the place!

00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,503

‐ Five at Home Depot?

00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,006

That must have been from the summer

I tried to be a Mythbuster.

00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:47,259

Those two ginger mummies

didn't leave any myths for the rest of us.

00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,179

‐ You're supposed to be chronicling,

not busting popular myths!

00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,430

Ugh, my favorite hand!

00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,891

‐ We gotta get these body parts

before Korvo is goo for good

00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,475

or we'll have to learn how to do taxes!

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,727

‐ It's hella complicated!

00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,520

Good luck figuring out

the depreciation value

00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,731

of time traveling sneakers

you only use for business!

00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,609

‐ Uh, are we just gonna leave

the Pupa behind, Terry?

00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:04,860

‐ He can't get out of the Pupa seat.

00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,154

And even if he could,

he'd never stray from his puffs.

00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,780

[door closes]

00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,074

‐ Ahh!

00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:16,788

♪ adventurous music ♪

00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:20,375

♪

00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,462

♪

00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,672

MAN: The cow says‐‐

[cow mooing]

00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,929

♪

00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,263

[engine powering on]

00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,559

♪

00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,938

[gears clicking, whirring]

00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:44,358

♪

00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,318

♪

00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:46,860

[alarm chirps]

00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,153

[engine starts]

00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,780

[tires squealing]

00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,450

‐ Eddie!

00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,994

Ooh! You're home early!

00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,913

‐ Katie! Baby! Kiss me!

00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:01,208

[moans]

00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,376

‐ Get in here.

00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:07,130

‐ [sighs] I still can't believe

it was one year ago to the day

00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,299

you got down on your knee

and gave this to me.

00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,176

Remember? It was our second date.

00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,636

I thought you were crazy.

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,388

‐ I am. Crazy. For you.

00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:17,766

‐ I swore I would never go out

with someone who worked for my dad.

00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,686

But you're not like his other employees,

you're... you're different.

00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,020

Oh, how'd the sales trip go?

00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,605

‐ Crushed it. Crushed it.

00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,023

‐ Daddy will love that.

00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,443

Means he won't see it coming

when we rob him blind.

00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,361

[evil laughter]

00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,738

‐ Ha ha. Ha ha.

Ha ha. Ha ha.

00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,241

[both laughing]

00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,287

‐ Alright, people,

I'm gooing pretty bad,

00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,205

so let's get these limbs

and get back to the business

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,915

of leaving this shithole planet.

00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:43,292

[beeping]

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,172

‐ Bad ice!

00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,340

Don't ask me how it got there!

00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,843

Ask them why they never cleaned it!

00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:55,637

[beeping]

00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,433

‐ Hey, my ball‐‐ back scratcher!

00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,726

Ahh!

‐ Suck it, Cooke!

00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:05,355

♪

00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,483

You did the right thing.

00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,194

‐ So everyone got their body parts?

00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,028

‐ Eh, almost.

00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,780

We just have to go to the Windy City

to pick up the last two.

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,324

‐ You went to Chicago

and didn't invite me?

00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,117

You know how much I like

the Schaumburg Outlets!

00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,286

‐ Last time we wasted all our time

waiting for you

00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,704

at the Hammacher Schlemmer.

00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,540

Me and Yumyulack

have been commuting to Chi‐town

00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,751

to practice with

the Chicago Pro Tumblers.

00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,170

‐ They're a legendary

acrobatic halftime show.

00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,671

I do it to help me stay agile,

00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,215

plus we get to hang with Pippin

when he's around.

00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:34,009

‐ We took a tough tumble

into each other last practice

00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:36,053

and knocked our tushes clean off.

00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,012

Ooh, there they are!

00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,723

‐ Guys, Jesse and Yumyulack are back!

00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,560

‐ 'Sup, Emily?

Alyssa, how you been?

00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,730

Oh no, Josh and Sophia,

what happened?

00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,149

‐ We snapped our ankles warming up

for the semi‐regional

00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,526

halftime show championships!

00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:51,985

‐ What.

‐ But that's today!

00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,821

‐ You and Yummy have to sub in

to do the final team tumble.

00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,406

‐ No, thanks,

we're in a time crunch.

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,742

ANNOUNCER: [over PA]

Chicago Pro Tumblers to the floor.

00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,077

‐ What are you‐‐

Don't you put that‐‐

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,870

Don't you put on

that sweet tumbling gear.

00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,664

Drop those knee socks right now, mister.

00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:04,665

Hey, I can see you.

00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,959

‐ When tumbling calls,

you accept the charges.

00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,293

‐ Hey, ge‐ge‐get back here!

00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,503

‐ I kinda wanna see it.

00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,504

[buzzer sounds]

00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,173

♪ energetic music ♪

00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:18,804

♪

00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:22,307

♪

00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,433

[crowd cheering]

00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,560

[buzzer sounds]

00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,730

‐ This stupid bullshit really meant

a lot to you two, didn't it?

00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,608

‐ It's the most satisfying thing

I've done in my life.

00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,777

‐ Okay, well, then I'm glad

we did it, I guess.

00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,529

Still wish I wasn't turning into goo.

00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,947

Terry. Your turn.

‐ What turn?

00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,615

Like I said, I keep my shit toight.

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,450

Don't insult me.

I'm not a replicant.

00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,077

Wow, yes, that's a lot of arms.

00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,912

‐ Dozens tightly clustered

over the ocean.

00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,497

Terry, you stinky shit.

00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,875

Did you feed your arms to a whale?

‐ No!

00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,627

No. What did I do?

00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,129

[gasps]

Gladwell!

00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,422

‐ What's a Gladwell?

00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,883

‐ Pop sociologist Malcolm Gladwell.

00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,343

We've been ripping and tearing ass

on the reg for a while now

00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:01,096

and every morning, I would chew my arm off

rather than wake him up.

00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,724

'Cause if he did, we would be chatting

about the human condition all morning.

00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:04,725

The guy won't shut up.

00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,936

My arms are somewhere aboard his private

non‐fiction yacht, The Shipping Point.

00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,272

It's an intellectual cruise experience

he runs for his fans.

00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:12,900

‐ How would we ever have gotten all that

from you just saying "Gladwell"?

00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,484

‐ Don't be jealous, Korvo.

It doesn't look good.

00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,319

‐ I‐I'm not!

00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:18,572

A sexual relationship with

an award‐winning author? I'm impressed!

00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,616

Best I could swing was a hand job

from the two guys

00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:23,202

who keep track of all the horse names

for George R. R. Martin.

00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,163

KATIE:

Baby, but what about the plan?

00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:28,165

We were gonna wait

until that prick promotes you

00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,166

and then fleece him.

00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,502

‐ Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

No argue!

00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:34,004

‐ The last flight to Mexico.

So you have to talk to Daddy today.

00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,756

Be careful.

He has powerful friends, baby.

00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,090

You gotta play this perfectly.

00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,926

‐ Relax. Relax. It's me.

00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:42,846

‐ Oh god, it'll all be worth it

once we're in Zihuatanejo.

00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,806

Oh, take me again.

00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,101

Oh god, I love your body so much.

[metallic clanging]

00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,021

[moaning, grunting]

00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:54,691

♪

00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,447

‐ Excuse us.

We're G‐O‐G, Guests of Gladwell.

00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,157

Terry. Should be on your book there.

00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,575

GLADWELL:

Terrance! You look great.

00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,452

Love the shirt.

Is that lambswool?

00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,162

‐ Glady.

[both kissing]

00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,830

You're looking observant as always.

00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,375

‐ I see you've brought your family!

How lovely.

00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,669

‐ Mr. Gladwell‐‐

‐ Stop. Just Gladwell.

00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:16,338

‐ Gladwell, would you sign

my 10,000 hours ray?

00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,382

It simulates studying

for 10,000 hours.

00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:20,008

Your Outliers book inspired me.

00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:23,136

‐ My key insight was that if you spend

a lot of time on something,

00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,054

you can get good at it.

00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:27,724

Seems like common knowledge now,

but at the time it was unheard of.

00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,059

‐ Yeah, genius, Gladwell.

00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,353

So listen, there's a reason we're here.

00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,480

‐ Let me guess,

Terrance needs his arms back.

00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,356

‐ Damn, he's good.

00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,400

‐ Let's run up to my penthouse

and get them.

00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,819

In the meantime, do the rest

of you want VIP tickets

00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,696

to see our in‐cruise show,

Malcolm Dragwell?

00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,156

It's drag queens lip syncing

to audio recordings of my books.

00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,493

‐ Uh, cool. Y‐y‐you guys do that.

And I‐I'll be right back with my arms.

00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,369

‐ Enjoy the show.

00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,539

♪ elevator music playing ♪

00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:53,041

Do you remember that hot air balloon

over Portugal?

00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,461

We made that basket so hot that

the balloon rose an extra hundred feet.

00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:59,256

‐ Ah yes. The summer we screwed

in every type of dirigible.

00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,049

Remember when you had me

on that zeppelin?

00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,885

[both chuckle]

[elevator dings]

00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:03,927

BOTH:

Hmm.

00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,680

‐ I'm so nervous to meet

a Malcolm Dragwell Queen.

00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,640

Ah. I'm not dressed for royalty.

00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,726

‐ I find it hard to believe

there's enough Gladwell demand

00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,477

to justify a whole Stan culture.

00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,104

‐ I hope there's stuff from Blink

in the show.

00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,063

I love that book.

00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,982

It's about how sometimes

we just know stuff

00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,275

without having to think or learn.

00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,651

I feel that way constantly.

00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,237

‐ Pour me a drink

while I look for your arms.

00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,114

Make one for yourself, too.

00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,241

‐ Ugh. Been a hell of a day.

00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,452

I don't know if you could tell,

but Korvo is melting.

00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:29,494

He's sensitive about it.

00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,747

‐ My god. Come, tell me.

00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,333

‐ Whoa, hey, hey, hey.

No traps!

00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:36,418

I'm not having a drink

or sitting on the bed. Just give me my‐‐

00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,253

Your hair is looking zanier than normal.

00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,963

Are you styling it different?

S'cute.

00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,925

‐ Still just rubbing a balloon

on it after showering.

00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,511

‐ Wha‐‐ That's not hair!

Those are... my arms!

00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:46,428

What did you do?

00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:49,765

‐ You left them to rot.

I gave them purpose. I gave them life!

00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,433

They've been writing my books.

00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,602

Sadly, I've had them so busy scribbling,

00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,021

they've fused into some kind of rat king.

00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,022

‐ That's straight‐up gross.

00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:59,399

‐ Now they're more creative

than ever before!

00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,069

My latest bestseller,

Thou Who Smelt It, Dealt It,

00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:03,612

was their idea.

00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,614

‐ You can't force my arms

to write their own fart ideas.

00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,199

‐ I already have.

00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:09,535

David Remnick interviewed me

an hour ago!

00:15:09,535 --> 00:15:10,536

Grab him!

[snarls]

00:15:10,536 --> 00:15:12,079

[screams, grunts]

00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,498

JESSE:

Is this the way to the VIP room?

00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,583

I'll have a rum and Diet to start, please.

00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,253

‐ Oh shit! They're going

to throw us into the ocean.

00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:22,381

I'm going to get diluted and excreted

through a million disgusting squids!

00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:24,299

‐ Did Gladwell sign off on this?

00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,843

[all scream]

00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:31,473

[screaming]

00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:35,644

‐ This is how we do it in Chi‐raq, biatch!

00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,521

[grunting]

00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,231

[screaming]

00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,824

‐ Yeah, bitch! Slip on my stinking goo

and drop to your death.

00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,118

Now scoop me up into the backpack.

00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:54,788

‐ Sales! Always!

Big, big growth!

00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,165

Profits... up!

Money... yes, yes!

00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,005

‐ Damn, Eddie.

How is it that you're never in the office

00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,507

and you just crushed

my Q2 sales record?

00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,509

‐ Get on my level. Bro.

00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,386

‐ Alright, boys, back to work.

00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,138

Eddie, stick around for a sec.

00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,141

Now, you listen to me, you son of a bitch.

00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,684

You might have everyone else fooled,

00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:17,978

but I have been on to you

since day one.

00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,730

I knew there was

something off about you.

00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:21,273

I couldn't put my finger on it.

00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:23,817

But you messed up when you made

a move on my daughter.

00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,153

I did a background check

on you, "Eddie."

00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,696

And you know what I found?

00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,907

Nothing.

You are who you say you are.

00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:32,117

But that doesn't change

how I feel in my gut.

00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,661

And the only thing

I love more than profits

00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,163

is that little girl of mine.

00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,166

So I'm writing you a check

for ten million dollars.

00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,168

It's a bribe.

Get out of Katie's life.

00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:45,005

Then what do you want?

What's your price?

00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,132

[scratching]

00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:51,303

Are you out

of your fuckin' mind?

00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,263

[liquid sloshing]

00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:59,144

[beeping]

00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:00,729

[cell phone ringing]

00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,317

♪ adventurous music ♪

00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,653

♪

00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:11,448

♪

00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,202

[Terry grunting]

‐ Stop hitting yourself, Terrance.

00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,578

‐ Ah! Cheap joke, Gladwell.

00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,748

‐ Yes, but it was right there,

and I think I made my point.

00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,250

Your arms obey me now.

00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,043

I say hit you, they hit.

‐ Ow!

00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,879

‐ I say write a book, they type up

cherry‐picked anecdotes

00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,965

to support my nursery school wisdom.

00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,508

I'll give you one last chance.

00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:31,301

Live with me on the open seas.

00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,387

We'll make love

while your arms write my TED Talks.

00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:34,471

A perfect life!

00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,890

‐ If it were up to me,

I'd tap that curly shit all day.

00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,267

But I've already got a team.

00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:41,144

‐ Pity.

Consider your point... tipped.

00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,312

[snarling]

00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,565

‐ Oh no! Terry's arms formed a rat king,

00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:46,066

and they've sided with Gladwell!

00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,359

‐ How did you gather that so fast?

00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,946

‐ Because I'm young, and adulthood

hasn't atrophied my imagination!

00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:54,241

[snarling]

‐ Holy shit!

00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,578

‐ Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it, Terry's arms!

00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,289

‐ Korvo, his arms,

they're listening to you!

00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:02,666

‐ I'm their mission leader,

it's their biological imperative.

00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:03,917

Terry's arms!

Stop being dicks!

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,128

‐ No, Terry's arms!

I'm your leader now.

00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,422

I'm the one who lets you

grease me up before bedtime.

00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,841

‐ You've never done anything right

in your shoulder‐girdled lives.

00:18:10,841 --> 00:18:13,302

You're worthless!

But you can change that right now.

00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:15,637

Come home with us, Terry's arms.

Come home.

00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,472

‐ No! My career will be over!

00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:19,683

Without Terry's arms,

all I'll be able to write

00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:23,228

is the erotic Luigi's Mansion fanfic

that comes to me so naturally.

00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,521

I can't go back to that!

00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,523

I won't go back to that!

[gun cocks]

00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,651

‐ Hey, Gladwell. I'm Yumyulack.

‐ So?

00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:30,986

‐ I'm head of mission security,

00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:33,488

so consider your dumb ass secured.

00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,908

[screams, groans]

00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:38,535

‐ What did you do to him?

‐ He's 10,000 hours stupider.

00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:41,830

‐ I'm going to go write a novel

about video games and '80s movies!

00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,998

‐ He'll land on his feet.

00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,917

Oh man, I wish I had feet.

00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:47,085

I'm feeling pretty shitty.

‐ Korvo!

00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:51,006

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:53,383

Almost home, buddy.

Think solid, stay solid.

00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:54,885

[gasps]

00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,553

[tires squealing]

[all scream]

00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,972

[all groan]

[tires squealing]

00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:02,059

‐ Who was that psycho?

[hovercraft rumbling]

00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,811

[groaning]

00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,025

[panting]

00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:13,362

♪

00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:14,863

[panting]

00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,865

♪

00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,700

[panting]

00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:20,327

‐ Hey.

00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,286

Ah.

00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:25,415

♪

00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:29,461

♪

00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,129

[panting]

00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,840

‐ AISHA! Launch the ship!

00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,174

AISHA:

All crew members present.

00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,968

Launch activated.

00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:36,969

[rumbling]

00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,346

[ship whooshing]

KORVO: We're doing it!

00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,430

We're actually leaving.

00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,935

[alarm blaring]

KORVO: No, no, no, no. No, no, fuck!

00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:46,478

No, no, no, no. Noooo!

00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:48,272

[all screaming]

00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:49,940

No! What happened?

00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,984

AISHA:

All ship systems have been compromised

00:19:51,984 --> 00:19:54,236

by the heavy levels

of iron in these puffs.

00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:55,779

‐ Where did they all come from?

00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,324

‐ I... I guess it was me?

00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:00,826

I only remember packing a couple

00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:02,744

so the Pupa could have

favorite snacks for the trip.

00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,955

‐ You were trying to be

a better Pupa specialist.

00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,415

‐ We can clean this up, Korvo.

00:20:06,415 --> 00:20:08,917

You can talk us through the repairs.

00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,794

Please, I just started chronicling,

00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:13,714

and I don't want this to be how

my first journal entry ends.

00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,007

‐ Yeah, we can still save you.

00:20:15,007 --> 00:20:16,925

‐ No, the puffs

have destroyed the circuits.

00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,720

The damage is too severe.

You'll have to stay on Earth permanently.

00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,637

‐ But what about you?

00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,431

‐ I'm afraid it's time for me to goo.

00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:24,349

I'm sorry I failed you all as leader.

00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:27,269

Today, I realized that each of you

has been fulfilling your mission roles

00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:28,228

in convoluted ways

00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:31,523

because I hadn't created an environment

where my team could thrive.

00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:34,943

I should have set down roots on Earth,

found a work/life balance

00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:37,029

instead of repairing the doggone ship

all the time.

00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:38,280

‐ Ohh‐‐

‐ Korvo‐‐

00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,239

‐ Goodbye, big guy.

00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,991

‐ Alright, go enjoy your slip and slide

00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:42,451

and leave me to turn into goo.

00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:44,578

That's my final order as mission leader.

00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:45,579

[door closes]

00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:51,084

AISHA: Damn, Korvo,

that's a lot of emotional growth.

00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,505

And you know I could vacuum up

this puff dust in, like, two minutes.

00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:57,174

‐ Yes, I am well aware.

‐ So why you lie?

00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:59,551

‐ Being on Earth is

what's best for my team.

00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,178

Even if it's what's worst for me.

00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,804

AISHA: Eww.

‐ Did you see that?

00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,307

I grew a leg.

Holy shit, another‐‐ another leg!

00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,308

My sacrifice!

00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,393

I was team leader,

and my team worked together!

00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:09,520

I'm regaining my form!

00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,688

‐ It's fucking gross.

Can you do it somewhere else?

00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,398

‐ Guys! Guys, get up here and help me!

00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,525

I'm getting my body back!

00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,485

[all shouting, laughing]

KORVO: Little help up here!

00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:17,736

Hello?

00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,863

Stop leaving me to die.

I'm not dying anymore!

00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:20,989

I'm thirsty for piss!

00:21:21,532 --> 00:21:22,824

Hah, finally back to normal.

00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,451

Feels good to not be goo anymore.

00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:25,744

‐ And did you mean it, Korvo?

00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:27,454

That you're going to put down

some roots this year?

00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,831

‐ Yes. If the options are turning

into a sack of slime

00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:32,835

or learning how to like Earth,

then I guess I'll have to give it a try.

00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:34,503

‐ Sounds like the Solar Opposites

are going to be having

00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:35,754

some fun this year!

00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:37,172

‐ And the fun will begin right now

00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:39,132

as we watch

all the Tom Clancy movies in order

00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,467

starting with

The Hunt For Red October!

00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:43,011

‐ What? No, those are grownup movies.

Can't we watch John Wick?

00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,638

‐ No! I'm setting down roots

the way I want,

00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,890

and that means Jack Ryan

and courtroom dramas.

00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,977

‐ Sorry, back up.

Which Jack Wick movie are we watching?

00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:51,353

‐ It's Jack Ryan, dummy.

Keep up.

00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,355

‐ Is this gonna be happening

all the time now, Jesse?

00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,148

‐ You know I hate repeating myself!

00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:56,441

[groans loudly]

00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:57,526

‐ My hand's cramping!

00:21:57,526 --> 00:22:00,237

‐ Well, why don't you use that Talkboy

you're so keen on tricking me with

00:22:00,237 --> 00:22:01,572

and transcribe it later?

00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:06,952

♪ suspenseful music ♪

00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:10,873

‐ Mmm, I must say, Pupa.

Nothing like a purple puff.

00:22:10,873 --> 00:22:13,292

So her old man went for the bargain,

just like we thought.

00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:14,459

‐ Mmm, yummy!

00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:16,628

‐ You're a cold‐hearted

son of a bitch, Pupa.

00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:17,880

Who's our next target?

00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,756

The heir to the Popchips fortune?

00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,842

Hell yes, let's fucking go.

00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:23,302

[airplane whooshing]

00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:26,889

‐ Ooh, ma'am, that was final boarding.

I have to close the door.

00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,557

‐ No! You can't!

00:22:28,557 --> 00:22:30,100

My fiancé's coming.

00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,561

[sniffles] I know he is.

‐ Mmm, yeah.

00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:35,272

Let me take you to our section for people

who were stood up by their loved ones.

00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,277

♪

00:22:40,277 --> 00:22:44,990

♪

00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:50,078

♪

00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:54,583

♪ dramatic theme playing ♪

00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:59,087

♪

00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:35,916

[mimicking laser fire]

00:00:31,236 --> 00:00:33,126

НА НАШЕМ МЕСТЕ ЧЕРЕЗ 15 МИНУТ

00:00:40,326 --> 00:00:42,636

НЕ ВХОДИТЬ

ПОВРЕЖДЕНО ПОТОПОМ

00:02:46,826 --> 00:02:48,826

ПРОДАНО

00:03:12,056 --> 00:03:13,536

БОЛЬНИЦА СВЯТОГО ДЖО

00:06:11,616 --> 00:06:14,596

СЦЕНАРИЙ БЫЛ НАПИСАН В 2009 ГОДУ

00:08:09,566 --> 00:08:13,006

САХАРНЫЕ КОЛЕЧКИ

00:10:20,656 --> 00:10:21,886

ЧИКАГО

00:12:52,886 --> 00:12:54,616

МАЛЬКОЛЬМ ГЛАДУЭЛЛ, «МОРГНИ»

00:13:48,446 --> 00:13:58,446

МАЛЬКОЛЬМ ГЛАДУЭЛЛ

«ЧТО СЪЕЛА СОБАКА И ДРУГИЕ ДИЕТЫ»

00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,626

ЭДДИ

СВИДЕТЕЛЬСТВО О РОЖДЕНИИ — ПОДЛИННИК

00:16:57,006 --> 00:16:59,076

САХАРНЫЕ КОЛЕЧКИ

00:17:00,676 --> 00:17:02,116

КЭТИ

00:17:08,816 --> 00:17:11,376

КОРПОРАЦИЯ «КОЛЕЧКИ»

ГЛАВНЫЙ ПРОИЗВОДИТЕЛЬ КОЛЕЧЕК С 1952 ГОДА

00:19:16,816 --> 00:19:21,216

МОРОЖЕНОЕ

00:22:17,826 --> 00:22:19,686

ДЕБРА ПОПЧИПС