Спортивная сумка Эдамаме

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♪

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[groaning]

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‐ What the heck happened to you?

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‐ I was in a focus group

for a new Funyons hard seltzer.

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I have a killer hangover,

and I keep coughing up salt,

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so please everyone shut the fuck up.

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‐ Korvo! Korvo! Korvo!

[marching band playing]

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‐ Aah!

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‐ Get out of here.

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‐ Were those gender reveal canons?

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‐ Yes, they were to reveal

an all‐new Korvo!

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Korvo's Second Act!

2 Fast 2 Korvo!

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Now that I'm not focusing on the mission

or fixing the ship,

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I'm free to do whatever I want!

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‐ You're still hung up on that?

We're not serialized.

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Like that big, weird face on the wall?

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We've never set that up.

[metallic vocalizing]

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‐ Tell that to... my new robe!

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‐ Ooh, fashion!

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‐ Please, just, could you hold off

on any big character changes

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until my headache goes away?

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‐ Sure, I‐I‐I'll just sit here

and think about ship repairs...

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‐ Thank you.

‐ Is what the old Korvo would have said.

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New Korvo has to practice

for a Stomp audition!

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‐ Aah! Aah!

[clanging]

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Aah!

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Oh shit, there we go.

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Nothing gets rid of a hangover

like a big ol' dump.

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[mewls]

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KORVO:

Planet Shlorp was the perfect utopia

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until the asteroid hit.

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One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a pupa

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and escaped into... the space,

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searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

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We crashed on Earth, stranding us

on an already overpopulated planet.

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That's right. I've been talking

this whole time.

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I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name's Korvo.

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This is‐‐ this is my show.

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I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

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[stammers] This is ridiculous.

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I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

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People are stupid and confusing.

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I don't‐‐ I don't understand hair.

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Humans are always combing and creaming

and fawning over their hair.

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Hair sucks.

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A nice smooth dome with blue dots on it

is the ideal head.

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♪

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[Pupa groans]

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‐ Damn, you look thicc, Pupa.

What's the deal?

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‐ He gets all backed up with the stuff

he eats off the ground.

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Terry's supposed to clean him out,

but he hates doing it.

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Don't let him hear it's time or he'll hide

in the crawlspace under the house.

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[thud]

‐ We could do it.

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Decluttering stuff is a passion of mine.

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Like pottery or Korean hentai.

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‐ Great. It's all yours.

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See if Terry's retainer is in there.

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His teeth are starting to look like

Justin drew them himself.

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‐ Whoa, hold on,

cleaning out the Pupa isn't our job.

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‐ Well, I'm busy.

‐ With what?

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‐ Whatever da fuck I want.

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‐ Why the hell did you say

we would do this?

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I had big plans today.

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I was gonna work on developing

a notithible lithp

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to impreth hot chickth.

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‐ Well, excuse me for caring

about the Pupa.

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Don't be a butthole, dickwad.

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‐ Whatever, let's just get this done.

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TERRY: [muffled scream]

There's a dead raccoon down here!

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AISHA: Hey, Korvo,

what do you want to fix today?

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The xenon emitters are super fucked up.

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‐ I'm freeing myself

from all that sci‐fi shit, Aisha.

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I need to figure out something grounded.

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AISHA:

What, like getting a job?

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‐ Are there jobs that are fun,

with no boss,

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and, like, make you feel

like you're doing something

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even though you aren't?

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AISHA:

That's called a hobby.

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Here's a list of the 7,000

most popular American hobbies.

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‐ Omit any that require

a fifth grade education.

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AISHA:

None of them do. It's an American list.

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‐ Perfect.

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♪ pleasant music ♪

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♪

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[sizzling]

‐ Ugh, negative again.

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‐ We'll just have to keep trying.

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I really wish we could stop,

it's so annoying, having sex all the time.

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It's like a goddamn bang bus up in here.

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‐ Uh‐huh. I'm sure you're really put out.

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I just have this hunch

that we're destined to conceive

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the first baby in the Wall.

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Wouldn't that be cool?

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‐ Super cool.

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And a couple of slabs of turkey jerky.

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Wife wants me to up my protein.

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‐ Bit by the baby bug, huh?

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Been getting that a lot these days.

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‐ I guess it's in the air.

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‐ Hey, it's the Cricket Killer!

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[crowd cheering]

‐ On the house.

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‐ No, I can't.

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‐ You can do anything.

You saved the Wall twice!

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[chuckles]

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[panting]

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‐ Wait up!

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Hey, in my old life,

I‐I worked at Best Buy.

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But now instead of constantly lying

and ripping people off,

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I want to help them.

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I want to be like you!

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‐ No, you don't!

[man gasps]

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Sorry. Soldier reflexes.

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‐ Ahhh! That was awesome!

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I just got wall checked by a hero!

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♪ ethereal music ♪

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♪

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♪

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‐ Please tell me that's protein!

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‐ How long are we going to hide you

in the back of this musty church?

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‐ It's just until we know Pezlie is safe.

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‐ I just wish I could tell Nova.

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Newlyweds shouldn't have secrets.

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‐ The truth will come out soon enough.

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Mm, oh my god, this is so good.

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You're my hero!

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‐ Yeah, I get that a lot.

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‐ According to WebMD,

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we have to jack his mouth open

and climb inside.

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‐ How? We're not gonna fit in there!

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I can hardly even fit in my jeans

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since we learned

how easy it is fry shrimp!

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‐ I don't know, the Pupa's mysterious.

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You want to read it?

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‐ Reading's for narcs. Let's just do it.

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You just keep watching TV

and don't swallow us.

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‐ Paw Patrol!

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Aah.

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♪ dramatic music ♪

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♪

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‐ Oh, Cherie! What a beautiful child.

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Jesse's light is shining on us.

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‐ This is Sister Sisto, my protege.

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Our secrets are safe with her.

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‐ I signed an NDA in blood.

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It was a blood orange Fresca,

still legally binding.

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‐ I can't thank you enough

for sheltering us for so long.

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I just don't want anyone finding out

about Pezlie, especially Tim.

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‐ Tim has lost his way.

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The Bowinian church will protect you.

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‐ Hopefully, it'll be a short stay.

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Tim's guards change shifts at midnight.

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I'll walk right in, knock him out,

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and have him back here

before anyone knows he's gone.

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‐ And then his lies will be revealed

to the rest of the Wall.

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‐ Exactly. I'll stay in disguise

until we get to his inner chamber.

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‐ You know, I don't‐‐

I don't think you should come.

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‐ What the fuck are you talking about?

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We've been preparing for this together.

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‐ You're emotionally invested.

This requires a cool head and focus.

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‐ I need to see the look in Tim's eyes

when he sees that I'm alive

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and I'm exposing him for the fraud he is.

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‐ This is my new thing.

I'm a hot sauce guy from now on.

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Look at all these hilarious labels.

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Ass Blastin' Hot?

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[awkward laughter]

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Doesn't get any better than that.

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Feels good to finally have something

that's all me.

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‐ Yee‐haw! I'm Tomatillo Terry.

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KORVO:

W‐w‐what are you doing here?

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‐ I'm always hot saucing

on the weekend, my dude.

00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,782

Yep, I've got the sixth most popular

tomatillo in the county.

00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,035

My sauce was featured

on MasterChef: Behind Bars.

00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,161

That's the one they film in prison.

00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,371

Every recipe requires toilet water

and shoe shine.

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‐ Dammit, I‐I don't want

to share my hobby with you.

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I want my own!

[clattering]

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‐ Time to silently knit up in this bitch.

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Agh!

‐ I heard on Twitter

00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,424

that Bad Bunny has a cold,

so I'm knitting him a snuggie!

00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,717

‐ I have never seen you knit!

00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,428

‐ Bullshit. I homespun you those

Animal Crossing‐themed boot socks.

00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,721

KORVO: Those were from Hot Topic!

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‐ We're doing a collab.

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Ow, ow, oh my God!

00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:32,976

Korvo, I think there are needles

in my eyes!

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Korvo? I can't see!

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I feel like Duncan in that movie

Prince of Thieves.

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,357

Do you remember

that movie, Prince of Thieves?

00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:41,818

The character of Duncan?

Oh, they took his eyes. That's me now!

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‐ Yes, this is it. This is gonna be

my jam, baby.

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TERRY: Wheeee!

‐ Fuck!

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‐ Wheeee!

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[Korvo sighs]

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‐ This one better work,

or it's back to being myself.

00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,458

[train whistle blows]

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‐ Is, uh, Terry here? Green alien?

Super hot and moist?

00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,921

Whimsical T‐shirts?

00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,381

‐ Nope, you're my first alien.

00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,716

‐ Yes! If another one comes in,

tell him to fuck off.

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,634

Trains are mine!

00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,220

‐ I don't know, son. This ain't a hobby

for the faint of heart.

00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,137

‐ I have three hearts.

00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,765

‐ It'll consume all your time,

ostracize you from your friends,

00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,517

and basically take over your life.

00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,518

‐ Alright, enough with the foreplay.

00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:17,020

How much to get me

into a miniature caboose today?

00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,523

‐ Is this some sort of

competitive hobby thing

00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:20,774

with your alien husband

00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:24,403

or do you actually care

about the locomotive arts?

00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,905

‐ I have unlimited budget

and zero self‐control.

00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,533

‐ Cabooses are right over here!

00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,870

[music playing on TV]

[Pupa laughs]

00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,247

[roaring laughter]

00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:37,416

‐ Wow, I guess Pupa's bigger

on the inside?

00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,585

A real biological marvel, this guy.

00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,920

‐ Agh, it smells like hotdog water.

00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,464

‐ Hotdog water

never backs you up that bad.

00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,799

What do you think he got into?

00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,467

‐ I don't know!

I don't even want to be here.

00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,013

‐ Don't be a whiner, Yumyulack.

We can leave when we're done.

00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,973

Ugh, I got a waffle maker,

00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,559

ugh, one of those blacklight

Bob Marley posters,

00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,769

and, oh, a koosh ball!

00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,106

‐ Yeah, I got a‐‐

I got a couple arms, some pogs,

00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:04,693

a ton of forks, and so many dead gooblers.

00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,279

Ugh! This is gonna take forever.

00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,156

Thanks a lot for opening your dumb mouth.

00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,991

‐ Hey, come back, where are you going?

00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:14,995

YUMYULACK: If we're stuck here,

I wanna be as far from you as possible.

00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,248

[growling softly]

00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,794

♪ foreboding music ♪

00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:28,217

♪

00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,261

‐ Hold it. That's the alarm system.

00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,679

Gen 5 Furby.

00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,598

Motion sensors better than the Pentagon's.

00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,557

‐ I got this.

00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,102

[blows]

‐ One wrong step, that Gizmo triggers,

00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,313

and Tim's guards will hear

its moans and creepy phrases.

00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,649

CHERIE: That's why we spent weeks

practicing Capoeira.

00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:44,816

Let's dance.

00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,027

[blows]

00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:51,031

♪ electronica music ♪

00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,242

♪

00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:16,223

♪ electronica music continues ♪

00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,767

♪

00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,110

[hooting]

00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:30,904

‐ And after passing

the Atlanta Trap Music Museum,

00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,199

the train takes five seconds

to reach the Tyler Perry Studios.

00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,493

‐ Korvo, this is amazing train work.

00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,329

You keep this up and you'll find yourself

on the cover of Chugga!

00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,747

KORVO: Ohh!

00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,376

Aisha, have you seen

my model Lululemon store?

00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:45,294

AISHA: Damn, Korvo.

00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:48,380

I just scanned your happiness rating,

and it's an eight out of ten million.

00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,465

That's the highest it's ever been.

You okay?

00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,510

‐ It's simple: I'm a train man.

I find bliss in the rails.

00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,138

AISHA: Now that you have a hobby,

let's get back to cleaning up

00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,514

the xenon in my vents.

00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,683

‐ Yeah, right! I'm never fixing you again!

00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,935

This is who I am now.

Look at my conductor hat!

00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,353

Ohh. My Lulu!

00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,688

AISHA:

Korvo! Get back here!

00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,274

If you were a real basic bitch,

you'd call it Lemon!

00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,818

But I can't lie, that hat looked good.

00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,363

‐ Something's wrong.

‐ What a shithole.

00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,365

At least Ringo kept it tidy up here.

00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,617

‐ It wasn't always like this.

00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,743

‐ Shh! I hear voices!

[muffled argument]

00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,119

‐ Someone else is here. We should go.

00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,621

‐ No way. We've come too far.

00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,705

‐ Cherie! Dammit.

00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,207

MAN: ...absolutely in

the top ten best albums.

00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,417

No, I'm not saying we remove

any Beatles album.

00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,586

Oh no, wait. Wait.

We forgot about Kendrick Lamar.

00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:28,378

[coughs]

00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,465

[clears throat] Whoa, whoa, hey.

You can't talk to me like that.

00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,218

I'm the boss around here,

and if I say Home Alone takes place

00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:36,553

in the same cinematic universe

as Curly Sue,

00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,180

then that's what it's gotta be.

00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,474

‐ What the fuck is he doing?

‐ I don't know.

00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,601

TIM: ...raw like this.

You're my fuckin' boys.

00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,144

‐ You know those guys are dead.

00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:47,022

‐ Cherie?

[coughs]

00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:47,981

Cherie, is it really you?

00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,400

‐ Bet you didn't think you'd ever see

this bad bitch again.

00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,735

‐ I see you all the time.

00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,946

We have a standing date

to do the crossword together.

00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:56,156

Neapolitan, 10 across. Remember?

00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,866

[coughs] You told me

you were gonna get into jogging.

00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,076

‐ What are you talking about?

00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,828

‐ Hey, I'm sorry I killed you

but, hey, now we're ghost friends,

00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,248

just like Ethan and my Walldermen.

Right, guys?

00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,378

Hey, okay, enough sailor talk,

there's a lady present.

00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,338

‐ Uhhh, he thinks I'm a ghost.

00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,381

‐ What does that even‐‐

‐ Halk!

00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,174

[coughs] Why are you a ghost?

00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,593

Whoa. That's cool.

I didn't even have to kill you.

00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:19,054

You backed up my lie,

the whole cricket thing, remember?

00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:21,139

‐ I'm not here to listen

to your shit anymore.

00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,392

‐ Look at him. I think he's really sick.

00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,811

‐ Aw, man. Running out of teeth.

00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,272

Oh, so thirsty. Gotta have a drink.

00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:29,022

‐ Wait a minute‐‐

00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,524

‐ Tim, what do you remember?

[Tim mumbling]

00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,441

How did I die?

00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,068

‐ Oh boy, here we go again.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,404

She really loves to make me say it.

00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,864

I betrayed you.

00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,241

Stabbed you through

with a toothpick cane because‐‐

00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,994

[coughs]

Because I wanted to rule the Wall.

00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,745

And I've regretted it ever since.

00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:47,583

Every single night, nightmares.

I'm constantly having nightmares.

00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,835

[coughs]

‐ What the hell happened to him?

00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,086

‐ I think I know. Look.

00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,130

CHERIE: The Burger King glass?

00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:56,508

‐ Vintage 1983.

Had the whole set when I was a kid.

00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,801

They don't sell 'em anymore.

00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,262

‐ So? Glass can't make you sick.

‐ Not the glass.

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,389

The paint. It's lead, made in China.

00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,183

Poison to the touch,

they had to recall them

00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:05,350

'cause they made kids sick.

00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,476

Real‐size kids.

00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,270

Tim's only a jelly bean and a half tall.

00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,606

‐ Jesus, he's been drinking out of it

for at least a year.

00:12:10,606 --> 00:12:12,816

Cooked his backstabbing little brain.

00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,484

He'll be dead in a week.

‐ Perfect.

00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,403

Let's get out of here.

He did our job for us.

00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,362

‐ We still have to kidnap him.

00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,031

‐ What? This is what we wanted!

00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:20,699

‐ No! I want justice.

00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:23,118

‐ Cherie, come on, take a win

when you're handed one.

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:26,163

‐ I want him fully cognizant

when we expose his ass

00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,289

or no one will believe us.

00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,708

Give me the edamame pod.

I'll smuggle him out myself.

00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:32,336

‐ I'm not helping you save him.

The whole point was to take him out.

00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:33,670

‐ Halk, don't make me do this.

00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:37,424

If we don't expose the lies,

this will keep happening!

00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:40,511

[Cherie yells]

00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,515

Pezlie needs to live in a Wall

based on truth.

00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,934

Not on his lies and not on yours.

00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,561

‐ [sighs] You're right.

00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,939

‐ Congratulations on growing a conscience.

00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,984

‐ Hey, guys, check out this tiny Lulu‐‐

00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,444

Terry?

‐ Oh hey, K‐dog.

00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:00,447

Check this out. And feel free to video it

so you can do it at home.

00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,033

Choo‐choo, motha fuckers!

00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,576

‐ Holy shit!

‐ Damn, this guy's cool.

00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,037

‐ No, no. He hates model trains!

00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:10,374

‐ Really? 'Cause Terry was just

pitching us his model town idea.

00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,416

‐ You know Candyland, right?

00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,461

Picture, like, mountains of Lemonheads

and train tracks of candy cigarettes!

00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,213

‐ That's stupid! And it's not realistic.

00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,340

It's as basic as

a Christmas gingerbread house.

00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,968

‐ We've been encouraging Terry

to get into model trains.

00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,886

The more the merrier, right?

‐ The more the shittier!

00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,054

‐ Aw, come on, Korvo.

00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,265

Nothing gets me going

like a hobby with a magazine.

00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:28,183

Makes me want to do‐‐

‐ Don't you segue into a montage‐‐

00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,309

‐ A montage!

00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:33,230

♪ electronica music ♪

00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:37,651

♪

00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,913

Mm, mm, mm.

‐ What do you think you're doing?

00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,332

‐ Judge Dredd's on vacation

from Mega‐City One.

00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,834

Just a li'l gift from me to you.

00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:57,171

‐ Dystopian law enforcement officers

don't fit in with my motif.

00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,672

‐ What about the White Hen Pantry I added?

00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,341

It's a regional Chicago option

for when 7‐Eleven is too classy.

00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,718

‐ Would you get that crap outta here!

00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,469

My town is too bougie for a White Hen.

00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,847

‐ They've got unbeatable deals

on individual Kraft singles.

00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:07,973

Not packaged for retail,

00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,933

but that's not gonna stop the Hen,

you know what I'm sayin'?

00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,060

‐ No, I don't know

what you're sayin', Terry!

00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,437

I‐I hate you! You're ruining everything!

00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,605

‐ But we're just having fun!

00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,190

‐ It's not fun! It's my life!

00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,191

[slams door]

00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:19,026

[crackling]

00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,235

[hammering]

00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,403

[rattling]

00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,031

[whooshing]

00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,910

Thinks he can take trains from me.

I'll show him. I'll show them all.

00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,705

[eating noisily]

00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:32,956

[rumbling, clattering]

00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,374

‐ Babe? That you?

00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,877

Uh, what the hell?

00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:39,379

♪ eerie music ♪

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,717

Korvo? Did you move the house?

KORVO: No!

00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,385

I invented a model train ray.

00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,639

It makes trains, towns, and rails

all at slightly larger than scale!

00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:49,556

[horn toots]

00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,894

‐ Wow, K. This model is spectacular.

00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:54,603

[horn toots]

00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,355

[train horn blares]

00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:59,149

‐ Ooh, look out, here comes the 9:15!

00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,319

‐ The fuck? It's huge!

Where does it even go?

00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:05,489

‐ It's exactly 1.2:1 scale

of an actual train,

00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:08,700

and it goes... across the whole continent!

00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:12,663

[evil laughter]

00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:22,422

[horn tooting]

[laser zapping]

00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,591

[evil laughter]

00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,138

[tires squealing]

00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:30,931

OFFICER: What the hell?

00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,016

Someone told me the huge,

destructive train

00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,769

was coming from the alien house,

but I didn't want to believe it.

00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,729

‐ We're getting calls

from all over the country.

00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,690

You can't just put rails

wherever you want!

00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,275

‐ Fuck you! Trains for life!

00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:43,944

[horn blaring]

00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,906

‐ He gave us no choice.

We're gonna have to kill him.

00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,784

Okay, boys, turn those body cams off!

00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,078

[sirens blaring]

‐ Oh no, Korvo!

00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:57,124

[sirens blaring]

00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,293

[gunshots]

00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:05,757

‐ Ah! Huh!

00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,092

‐ Train check, bitch!

[horn toots]

00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,178

‐ That's breaking the rules!

No real trains allowed!

00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:10,846

‐ I'm trying to save you, you stupid man.

00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:11,680

‐ Save this!

00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,307

[squealing]

00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:14,266

[Terry groans]

00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,144

You'll never win this, Terry!

My train makes its own rails.

00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,228

[metallic creaking]

00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,147

[siren blaring]

00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,359

‐ Ahh!

00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:25,986

Watch out for the mountain!

00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,907

‐ You just broke

my plastic mountain, asshole!

00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:30,866

That was expensive!

00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:32,409

‐ Oh yeah? What are you going

to do about it, ese?

00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,911

‐ I'm going to Tokyo drift!

00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:36,288

TERRY:

Crap, crap, crap! Don't hit me!

00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,332

[evil laughter]

[Terry screaming]

00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:43,462

‐ Nooooo!

00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,464

[squealing]

00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:50,677

‐ Grab my hand like they did in True Lies.

00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,346

‐ Why wouldn't you say,

"Like in Cliffhanger"?

00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,972

You know I love that movie.

‐ Yeah, but I don't!

00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:56,308

Jon Lithgow as the villain, no, thank you!

00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,438

Well, that's the end of trains.

00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,649

How about you start a blog

or find some room for Christ

00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:04,858

in your faithless, shallow life?

00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,319

‐ You can't take away my hobby

if I am the hobby!

00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,197

‐ Easy there, Korvo.

That ray makes plastic libraries.

00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,282

‐ And now it will make me a god!

00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:12,950

[horn toots]

00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,411

‐ Holy shit,

00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:21,708

a 1929 CCR double XL triple steam liner!

00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,709

[metallic creaking]

00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,295

[Korvo laughing]

00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,172

[steam hissing]

00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,341

[train horn blaring]

00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:34,096

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,515

[laughter continues]

00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:40,853

♪

00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,277

[panting]

00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:50,946

‐ Stop that, get off of me.

I‐I‐I'm happy as a train!

00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:54,241

‐ Hell yes! Ethan Hunt over here!

00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,493

Mission: Possible, baby!

Wait, I can do it better.

00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,578

[grunts]

00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,706

Ah crap, that was worse.

I gotta try again.

00:18:00,706 --> 00:18:02,040

Don't have much time. [grunts]

00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,459

♪ jazz music playing on TV ♪

00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:10,382

‐ Hey. A stub from when we saw Gotti

in IMAX 3D.

00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,718

Remember how Travolta's wig popped

right out of the screen?

00:18:12,718 --> 00:18:14,928

‐ Aw, that movie sucked butts.

00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,096

Pupa ate that, huh?

00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,306

‐ I guess he's not picky.

00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:19,766

[both laugh]

00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,936

Sorry if I was being

a biatch earlier. I just‐‐

00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,981

[screaming]

00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:29,359

‐ [gasps]

Yumyulack? Yumyulack?

00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,485

[inhales deeply]

00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,574

[Yumyulack gasps]

Oh no, it's, it's, it's a‐‐

00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:36,742

YUMYULACK: A javelina!

00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:37,784

[growls]

00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,495

‐ We gotta get to the mouth!

00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,164

‐ Gah, Javelina!

00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:42,915

JESSE: Ha!

00:18:43,582 --> 00:18:44,583

[squeals]

00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,295

[gasps] I recognize this bite pattern.

00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,214

That's the shape of Terry's retainer.

00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:52,466

The Javelina must be wearing it.

00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:55,052

‐ But why? Javelinas are famous

for eschewing dental hygiene.

00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:58,096

‐ Aw, he must be stressed out

and grinding his teeth.

00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:01,016

‐ I mean, who wouldn't be

when they live inside the Pupa?

00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,144

[grunting]

00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,146

‐ Ow! [gasps]

00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,106

Okay, Terry, time to be the hero.

00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,192

Just stay focused and‐‐ What the fuck?

00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:13,237

Oh, a framed fuckin' photo of

Polar Express Tom Hanks but none of me?

00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:15,864

Goddammit, Terry, stay on point.

It's time to stop this train.

00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,909

Stickers? No! No!

00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:21,578

They're all stickers? Oh my God!

00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:23,288

KORVO THE TRAIN:

I'm still a model, you dumbass!

00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,665

You better get out of me right now.

00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:26,834

I'm going to end it all

by crashing into Union Station

00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:27,876

just like in Silver Streak.

00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,336

‐ But you'll die and I will too.

00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,004

And all the chains at Union Station.

00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,174

The Dunkin Donuts

and the Jared's Jeweler‐‐ Jewelry store.

00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,510

‐ But if I don't have my hobby,

what‐what am I?

00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,428

Without trains, I might as well be dead.

00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,138

‐ Korvo, you aren't what you do.

00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,890

You're who you love. And that's me.

00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,392

‐ But you have all your own hobbies.

00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,519

‐ And I wanted to share them

with you, you fool.

00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,813

Why do you think I started train‐ing

in the first place?

00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:48,897

So we could do it together.

00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,399

‐ Really? Together?

00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:52,442

You mean we can be like Stan and Barb

from down the block

00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,194

that started that homemade

candle company together?

00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,071

‐ Yes! But not as desperate

and lame as them

00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,865

because we don't have their debt problems.

00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,325

‐ Thank you, Terry.

That's all I needed to hear.

00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,160

I... I will stop being a train.

00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,620

‐ Alright! Woo!

00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,997

[sobbing]

00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:07,082

Wait, why aren't you slowing down?

‐ I'm a long‐ass train.

00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,251

It takes like ten minutes

to come to a stop.

00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,837

My‐my‐my brakes are a little rusty.

And I'm dehydrated.

00:20:11,837 --> 00:20:14,339

‐ Alright, okay.

It just doesn't seem any slower.

00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:16,216

‐ You try slowing down

with this big of a caboose.

00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,926

‐ Ugh, trains are so dorky.

00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,095

Cool things stop fast!

Like motorcycles.

00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,472

Maybe become a motorcycle next time.

Think about that.

00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,433

KORVO THE TRAIN: What?

Is saving my life boring to you?

00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,226

You want me to still Silver Streak?

TERRY: No.

00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,394

KORVO THE TRAIN:

Yeah, that's what I thought.

00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:29,229

TERRY: Stupid trains. I'm over it.

KORVO THE TRAIN: Hey!

00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:35,485

FURBY:

Ooo‐aaa. Feed Me! Tell me a joke!

00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,822

‐ Hey! Where are you going with that?

00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:40,324

‐ Uhhh‐‐

00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:43,952

‐ You're supposed to be

in that edamame line over there.

00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:50,083

♪ tense music ♪

00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:54,838

♪

00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:57,758

[gasps]

‐ Sister! We have him but‐‐

00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:01,678

‐ He looks like he has lead poisoning

from some kind of fast food novelty glass.

00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:02,513

‐ She's good.

00:21:02,513 --> 00:21:03,722

SISTER SISTO:

I can nurse him back to health.

00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,641

Everyone! It's a Code Red!

00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:08,060

‐ You hear that, Pezlie? We did it.

00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,896

From now on, this will be a wall of truth.

00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,189

[giggles]

00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,775

[both grunt]

[Javelina squeals]

00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:18,070

‐ Let's get you some help, little fella!

00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:19,071

[muffled squealing]

00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:21,114

‐ This javelina needs a mouth guard.

00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,616

He's been grinding his teeth, see?

00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:25,410

‐ Dude, why would we be here

if we didn't already know that?

00:21:26,036 --> 00:21:26,703

[squealing]

00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,915

‐ Go on, Javelina.

Go where the javelinas go.

00:21:29,915 --> 00:21:33,293

Be free out in the woods,

doing javelina things.

00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,796

‐ We'll text you a reminder

for your six‐month checkup!

00:21:35,796 --> 00:21:38,382

‐ See? When we work together,

we can do anything.

00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:39,967

‐ Sorry I was a dick back in the Pupa.

00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:42,970

‐ I'm sorry too. But, hey, we both got

retainers out of it.

00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:46,306

And next time, we'll crawl

under the house before Terry does.

00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,975

Ech.

‐ Aagh.

00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:51,478

‐ Hey, good job cleaning out the Pupes.

He's in a much better mood.

00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,397

‐ Hmm. He had a javelina in him.

00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:54,314

‐ What?

‐ Javelina.

00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:55,816

Inside the Pupa, it had your mouth guard?

00:21:55,816 --> 00:21:57,901

‐ Yeah, right.

The Pupa's javelina died last year

00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,736

from accidentally eating some rat poison.

00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,071

‐ But that means‐‐

00:22:02,573 --> 00:22:03,574

♪ angelic music ♪

00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:04,908

[grunts]

00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:06,994

♪

00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:07,911

[squeals]

00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:10,289

BOTH: It was a ghost!

00:22:10,289 --> 00:22:12,374

KORVO: That's stupid,

there's no such thing as ghosts.

00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:15,169

‐ Um, yes, there is, we took one

to the periodontist today.

00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:18,255

‐ Why would you not believe in ghosts?

You're a train.

00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:21,175

‐ I'm only a train because I lost

my model ray somewhere in Nevada.

00:22:21,175 --> 00:22:23,886

I'm reverting back to normal.

It's just going to take a while.

00:22:27,431 --> 00:22:29,641

‐ Sorry you don't have

a hobby anymore, Korvo.

00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:32,477

‐ It's okay. Terry and I are going

to do a hobby together.

00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:33,353

‐ Yay!

00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,397

And you promised you would make

a real effort to like it.

00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:38,233

‐ Yes. Once my body is back.

I promise to like it.

00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,651

W‐what did you have in mind?

00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:44,239

‐ This is my all‐time favorite hobby.

00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,450

‐ What is? I‐I can't see

what's at the front of the line.

00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:48,285

‐ No, this. We're doing it.

‐ Doing what?

00:22:48,285 --> 00:22:50,287

‐ Standing in line,

it's my favorite hobby.

00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:53,373

‐ What we're doing right now is it?

Y‐y‐you love waiting in lines?

00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:54,750

‐ You promised to try!

‐ I know I did!

00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:55,626

‐ Korvo!

‐ Whatever.

00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:58,086

It's just a dumb line.

I‐I‐I'll give it a chance.

00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:00,047

‐ Yeah! Line time, baby!

00:23:00,047 --> 00:23:01,089

♪ dramatic theme ♪

00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:02,299

‐ This is so stupid.

00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:06,094

♪

00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:08,263

How long are we supposed to stand

in this line anyway?

00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:12,726

♪

00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:14,394

Wow, w‐we're still here.

00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:16,104

♪

00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:17,856

Huh, I thought once the credits started,

00:23:17,856 --> 00:23:19,608

we'd crash to black and be out of here.

00:23:19,608 --> 00:23:24,404

♪

00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,281

You know what,

once the production cards hit,

00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,450

we'll be on to the next episode

and this will be done.

00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:32,371

♪

00:23:32,371 --> 00:23:36,625

♪

00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:37,876

Just a little bit longer.

00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:40,879

♪

00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:45,926

[mimicking laser fire]

00:03:25,116 --> 00:03:26,326

«МЯСО»

00:05:18,936 --> 00:05:20,566

ВЕРХНИЙ УРОВЕНЬ СТЕНЫ

00:06:47,736 --> 00:06:49,066

ЛЯГУШАЧЬИ ГОНКИ

КОЛЛЕКЦИОНИРОВАНИЕ ЛОЖЕК

00:06:49,066 --> 00:06:50,986

ОЦЕНИВАТЬ ПОРНО

РАЗВОДИТЬ ПРОДЮСЕРОВ HULU

00:09:12,006 --> 00:09:13,466

ТОЛЬКО ДЛЯ МОДЕЛЕК ПОЕЗДОВ

00:09:13,666 --> 00:09:15,086

ПОЕЗДА

00:09:16,586 --> 00:09:17,636

ПОЕЗДАТЫЙ ДЕНЬ

00:09:39,276 --> 00:09:41,286

«ЧУЧУХ»

ПОЕЗДАТЫЙ ЭНТУЗИАСТ

00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:43,416

ТОРМОЗ

00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:07,646

РЕЖИМ ДИОРАМЫ

РЕЖИМ ПОЕЗДА

00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:38,466

УСКОРЕНИЕ

00:21:18,016 --> 00:21:19,686

ПАРОДОНТОЛОГ

00:22:24,756 --> 00:22:27,376

ПАРИКМАХЕР