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Большой день Пупы
The Pupa’s Big Day
Сезон: 03Серия: 03
Описание
Терри приобщает Корво к своему хобби, но выясняется, что его хобби это стояние в очередях. Юмьюлак находит себе «быструю очередь», которая на деле оказывается марафонским забегом. Джесси влюбляется в затылок парня, стоящего перед ней в очереди. Пупа же увеличивается в размере и сражается с гигантским ящером, а затем с гигантским роботом.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
- 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005 ♪
- 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
- 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,050 ‐ This is stupid.
- 00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,594 How are we still in the same goddamn line from last episode?
- 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,930 ‐ Oh, this could take forever, that's part of why it's so great!
- 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,056 ‐ Have we moved at all?
- 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:16,266 ‐ Not me, but I try to limit my movements each day
- 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,602 to save energy in case I run into Tim Burton
- 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,980 so I can punch him in the face for plagiarizing my whole tone.
- 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,982 ‐ Luckily we can't stay in this line for much longer.
- 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,776 We have to get back to the ship so we can watch the video
- 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,111 I show you every morning about the homeworld exploding, all that.
- 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,863 ‐ Nah, dawg, I got it loaded on my phone.
- 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,115 KORVO: [over phone] Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
- 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,617 until the asteroid hit.
- 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,746 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a pupa and escaped‐‐
- 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,873 ‐ Are we really making one episode just go into another
- 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,502 as if we're some kind of acclaimed television program like 24?
- 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,420 KORVO: [over phone] Stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
- 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,130 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
- 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,882 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
- 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,926 This is‐‐ this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Did you see that?
- 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,010 KORVO: A‐are we really doing this?
- 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,428 TERRY: We're still in line, baby!
- 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,472 KORVO: Oh my god, a lazy bottle episode.
- 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,266 KORVO: [over phone] They have so many emotions.
- 00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:00,435 Th‐they don't know that they can just set their Candolian mood rings onto peaceful
- 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,645 and get on with their lives.
- 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,815 ♪ dramatic theme ♪
- 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,400 ‐ You know, you always say something different?
- 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,317 ‐ I do?
- 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,612 Goddammit, Terry. This sucks.
- 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:11,989 When are we going to get to do something interesting?
- 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:15,367 ‐ Duh‐duh‐duh, wait for it. We're about to do something awesome!
- 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,412 [all exclaiming]
- 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,038 ‐ How fucking dope was that, chumba?
- 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,291 ‐ I refuse to view shuffling forward as an achievement.
- 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,376 ‐ You don't understand. This line is super rare!
- 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,087 It's what us pro standers call a Category Five.
- 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,630 ‐ You rank them like hurricanes?
- 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,924 ‐ Yeah, technically, this one's named Linda.
- 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,134 She's a real handsome lady.
- 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,635 She's a combination of three lines:
- 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,846 one for a new iPhone, one for a new sneaker release,
- 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,557 and one for a Howlin' Rays sandwich branded with a Supreme logo.
- 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,142 ‐ This is getting stupider by the second!
- 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,476 ‐ A cat five is not to be missed,
- 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,353 that's why all the most famous standers are here.
- 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,440 That's Andrew, he was front of the line for the first Xbox back in '01.
- 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,150 Sarah served three to five for knifing someone
- 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,903 who tried to cut in line on a Black Friday at Ann Taylor Loft.
- 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,530 And Kyle Von Titsenburg, dude with the pointy hat?
- 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,949 Once held a pee for 72 hours.
- 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,075 Plus: great name.
- 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,994 ‐ So many motionless celebrities.
- 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,954 I feel like I'm at a wax museum!
- 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,415 ‐ I do like all the line shoes and hats the pros are wearing.
- 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,667 I can't resist the siren song of hyper‐specific gear.
- 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,127 ‐ I got my New Balance Shuffles on,
- 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,129 my touch‐the‐wall‐for‐leverage Asics gloves,
- 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,881 and my uncle‐hat so my spots don't get burnt.
- 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,758 ‐ Okay, okay, I'll, I'll give it a chance.
- 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,182 Hey, where's the Pupa going? Look, he's, he's getting biggie‐size.
- 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,475 I bet he's going to go do something awesome.
- 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,143 We really should leave the line and check it out.
- 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,437 ‐ The Pupa does love him some wacky hijinks.
- 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,773 ‐ Let's see what he's up to. Th‐th‐that could be our whole story!
- 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,566 ‐ But we can't leave line. You promised.
- 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,944 ‐ Just for a second, so we can see why the Pupa got so big.
- 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,404 He had a devilish grin! He's gonna do something Pupa‐y.
- 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,656 Don't tell me you aren't curious.
- 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,283 ‐ No, if you leave line for even a second, you lose your place.
- 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,077 Fighting temptation is the whole game.
- 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,246 It's like edging, but you can do it around other people.
- 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,915 ‐ Hey! Look at that other line over there! It's totally moving faster.
- 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,835 ‐ Rookie mistake, Yummers. If a line looks like it's moving, it's just an illusion.
- 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,711 As Kyle Von Titsenburg likes to say,
- 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,130 "Any line worth standing in doesn't move."
- 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,173 ‐ That's stupid.
- 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,883 Fuck you, I'm joining the faster line,
- 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:57,010 and I'm gonna get my sneakers way before you.
- 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,971 Later, losers! Suck my mound!
- 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,349 ‐ I always knew you were the smart one. Stick with me. Okay?
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,518 Jesse?
- 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,521 ‐ Hello? Are you doing that scary teenage girl silent treatment thing again?
- 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,189 I told you that freaks me out. Stop it!
- 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,776 ‐ Look at the back of that guy's head. Purrrr.
- 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,903 ‐ That guy? Ugh. He looks like a melting stick of butter.
- 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,322 ‐ His hair is riding that nape.
- 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,659 He has a cowlick and a wallet chain? Mama like.
- 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,869 ‐ Oh boy, here we go.
- 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,913 Every time we're in line, Jesse falls in love with the back of some guy's head.
- 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,250 ‐ Nah‐uh. I'm just thinking about what the back of those arms would look like
- 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,085 outside the back of that shirt.
- 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,004 ‐ Keep it in your dress, Jesse.
- 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:34,965 [groans]
- 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,342 ♪
- 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,846 [bones cracking]
- 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,681 [snores]
- 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,100 [groaning]
- 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,269 ‐ Would you stop fidgeting? I'm in the zone, and you're messing me up.
- 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,980 To really focus, I count the number of Kardashians over and over,
- 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,065 and you're making me get tripped up after the obese brother.
- 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,193 ‐ Alright, fuck this, if we have to stand here, I'm doing something.
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,194 ‐ Oh yeah, like what?
- 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,029 ‐ I'm gonna use that ray that turns everyone into cigarettes,
- 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,405 and then we'll just walk over everyone.
- 00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:58,989 ‐ No!
- 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:01,909 ASTRONAUT: Oh fuck!
- 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,661 Houston, the Space Station turned into cigarettes!
- 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,039 ‐ Just like the fortune cookie said it would!
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,540 [both screaming]
- 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,416 ‐ Korvo, stop that.
- 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,792 Turning them into anything would ruin it.
- 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,003 The point of the line is to be in the line.
- 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,297 ‐ But the ray‐‐ ‐ No rays, no sci‐fi of any kind.
- 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,715 Just be present in the moment. ‐ Whatever.
- 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,175 I was just trying to do a hobby you love,
- 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,968 but you really love stupid stuff that sucks,
- 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,136 so I'm‐I'm‐I'm going to take off.
- 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,514 ‐ See if I care. Not everyone has what it takes to line.
- 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:26,058 ‐ Plus, we have a couple of Howlin' Rays rays back on the ship.
- 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,435 I'll just shoot some carbon into a delicious chicken sandwich.
- 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,978 ‐ Linus! Wassup, my dawg?
- 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,563 I was hoping I'd see you standing around.
- 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,899 ‐ Ter‐bear! The Ter‐inator!
- 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,817 T‐T‐T‐Terry and the Jets!
- 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,069 ‐ Oh. Uh‐‐ [Linus grunts]
- 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,862 ‐ What the F‐U‐C‐K?
- 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,447 Did you just give that guy a little smooch?
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,907 ‐ It's my thing now, don't hang a light on it.
- 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,283 ‐ Thanks for holding my place, Marv.
- 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,160 Hired a hold‐my‐place‐stander so I wouldn't miss
- 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,745 a good spot next to T‐dog.
- 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:47,996 He's kinda my line husband.
- 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,123 ‐ Oh well, I'm sure you've heard all about me then.
- 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,502 Korvo. I'm Terry's actual husband slash unmarried team leader.
- 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:56,380 ‐ Korvo, Kor, Korv‐‐ hmm?
- 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,714 No, he's never mentioned you.
- 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,007 ‐ Yes, I have, remember?
- 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,802 I hate the way his eyes cartoonishly bulge out when he's angry?
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,303 ‐ They do not! ‐ There they are.
- 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,471 ‐ No, I would've remembered.
- 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,681 Terry and I go way back.
- 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,307 I guess we started to fall in line together
- 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,060 when we were waiting to get Mr. Wonderful's new set of sponges.
- 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,895 That was a day!
- 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,105 [both laugh]
- 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,315 Remember, remember, remember. ‐ Oh my god!
- 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,024 ‐ With the sponges.
- 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,026 ‐ Korvo was actually just about to take off.
- 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,152 He's not really a line guy.
- 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,904 ‐ No, I wasn't actually about to take off.
- 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,656 This line is just getting good! ‐ Really?
- 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,449 ‐ Yes. I look forward to continuing to stand here
- 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,535 with my teammate slash work husband in crime
- 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,079 slash life Terry and this person named Lameus.
- 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,622 ‐ It's Linus with an "N."
- 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,374 ‐ Oh, what did I say?
- 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:36,795 ‐ Oh‐kay, well, uh, welcome, compadre!
- 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,464 I only brought two bags of DayQuil Blast Cheez‐Its though,
- 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,549 so you'll have to share.
- 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:41,800 They're Terry's favorite.
- 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,428 ‐ Oooh! Now with extra 'quil? Goodbye, thoughts.
- 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,597 ‐ I thought Terry was a Mai Tai Goldfish man.
- 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,516 ‐ That was so 2019. But who can keep track?
- 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,436 Terry is always yammering on about snack foods.
- 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:54,938 ‐ You know me, I'm always "Bugles this" and "Twizzlers that."
- 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,691 Such a yambone! [both laugh]
- 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,318 Oh god.
- 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,906 ‐ Hah, I knew it! It's always better to switch to the fastest line.
- 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,451 Wow. Okay, we're running now.
- 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,036 My line rules!
- 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,413 Fuck you, Terry!
- 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,581 [panting]
- 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,628 ‐ Man, we've been in some crazy lines together.
- 00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,796 Remember when we pretended we lost our drivers' licenses
- 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,881 just to hit up the DMV?
- 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,007 ‐ It took forever.
- 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,717 God, it's hard to find a great line these days.
- 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,427 You know, I wish we could go back in time
- 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,304 and stand in some bread lines together, Terry.
- 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,389 I would go through a Great Depression in a second
- 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,017 just to be poor and facing the same direction on the street with you.
- 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,185 ‐ I say that all the time!
- 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,354 ‐ I once waited in a line at the grocery store.
- 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,272 I had too many items for the express checkout.
- 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,191 So then I had to stand in another line.
- 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,317 ‐ Wow, great story.
- 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,069 ‐ Hey now, we all gotta start somewhere.
- 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,070 ‐ Thank you, Linus.
- 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,280 You aren't the only ones who've stood in line before, Terry.
- 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,116 ‐ Remember when we were in line for the Broadway adaptation of Tenet?
- 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,536 And that homeless guy threw a bag of shit at you?
- 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,829 Remember we watched him shit into the bag and we were like,
- 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,081 "I wonder who's gonna get that bag?"
- 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:54,957 And it was you!
- 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,459 ‐ Oh yeah, I think I have photos of it on my phone.
- 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,003 ‐ Hey, what do you think of this Linus guy?
- 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,213 Jesse?
- 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,549 Are you still all hot and bothered by Neck Douche?
- 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,800 ‐ I can't help it.
- 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,636 I can just picture our life together.
- 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,891 I can't believe you won this giant bear for me.
- 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,142 ‐ It's almost as cute as you are.
- 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,104 ‐ Ooh, can I have some of that cotton candy?
- 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,648 ‐ But you're already the sweetest girl in the world.
- 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:20,774 ‐ Swoon.
- 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,903 ‐ Let's ride the Ferris wheel and dry hump at the top
- 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,738 until it breaks and we have to get rescued.
- 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:27,948 ‐ Yes, please.
- 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,784 ‐ But there's something I have to ask you first.
- 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,286 Jessica Opposites, I've loved you
- 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,580 since the moment you saw the back of my head in line.
- 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,164 You are beautiful. You are smart.
- 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,542 You know how to rock the fuck out of a polka dot.
- 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,878 Would you do me the honor of marrying me?
- 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:43,338 ‐ You had me at Jessica Opposites!
- 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,507 [both moaning]
- 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:49,136 [Jesse moaning] [rumbling]
- 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,888 ‐ Oh look, the Pupa's a giant or something!
- 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,973 Ugh, I wish I could see more than just the top of his head.
- 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:53,807 [Godzilla screeching]
- 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,185 Oh, shit, is that a fucking Godzilla too?
- 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,978 I wonder if that's the same Godzilla that came to town
- 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,062 on a book tour last year.
- 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,022 [thudding, rumbling]
- 00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:01,356 Oh my god, did you hear that?
- 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,567 I think the Pupa is in an epic battle with a Godzilla.
- 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,320 I bet they're stomping on cars and pushing over skyscrapers and shit.
- 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,112 We could be doing that!
- 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,114 Terry, can we please just go see what's happening for a minute?
- 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,908 ‐ You can go, Korvo, but you'll lose your spot.
- 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:12,534 ‐ Ugh, I hate not being in line.
- 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,077 Might as well cut my dick off, you know?
- 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,787 ‐ Right? ‐ Ugh, fine. I'll stay.
- 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,331 ‐ I'm loving this hat, T‐rex.
- 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,874 ‐ Oh, come on, it's nothing compared to yours.
- 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,709 ‐ Well, here's a little trick of the trade, you dumb bitch.
- 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,753 You gotta get a cap that covers your neck.
- 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:24,505 And that also helps collect your neck sweat.
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,756 It's pretty cool, huh?
- 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:26,882 ‐ Oh. Such a good call.
- 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,218 My cap only covers the top of my head like a total loser.
- 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,970 ‐ You're not a loser, Terry. You're the coolest guy I know.
- 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,889 ‐ Yes. You're also the coolest guy I know.
- 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,557 ‐ You told me yesterday I should die in a fire.
- 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,767 ‐ I‐I was joking. [stomach rumbles]
- 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:39,269 ‐ Oof, all those hot coins I swallowed for breakfast
- 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,355 are not sitting right. I gotta go to the bathroom.
- 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,606 ‐ Why? We don't have buttholes.
- 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,525 ‐ Yeah, I just sit on the seat and calm down.
- 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,692 Plus it lets me chew my gum.
- 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,320 The way I chew gum is so disgusting that I can't do it in front of people.
- 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,531 ‐ Fine, I'll save your spot in line while you go.
- 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,658 [both laughing] Who are we laughing at?
- 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,618 Did I accidentally quote a TokTik again?
- 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:58,080 ‐ No. It's just, "Save your spot" is what a line virgin would say.
- 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,706 ‐ You're green, so let me explain.
- 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,417 On the professional line circuit, what Terry needs
- 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,961 is called a "line check."
- 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,504 And if you're cool like me, you say it
- 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:06,839 like a quarterback making an audible:
- 00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:09,091 "Line Check! Omaha. Hut hut, green 8!"
- 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,468 ‐ See, I say "line check" and the other pros will honor it
- 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,428 because we adhere to an ancient and noble code.
- 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,764 ‐ If you don't line check, you lose your spot,
- 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:16,974 but worse, your dignity.
- 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:19,226 ‐ Damn, all these arbitrary rules are hard to keep track of.
- 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,602 ‐ Isn't it great? [yelling] Line check!
- 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,230 ‐ Hey, have fun, Tery‐dactyl.
- 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,900 ‐ Thanks for the heads up on that "line check" thing. Oh!
- 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,986 ‐ You listen to me, you worthless little blue bitch.
- 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:30,946 Terry is mine, this line is mine,
- 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,865 you are a piece of aardvark shit.
- 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:35,284 ‐ Linus, your behavior is completely different from a moment ago.
- 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,827 Were you bitten by some kind of spider?
- 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,871 ‐ I've stood in hundreds of lines with Terry,
- 00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,706 and I'm not gonna let you slime in here
- 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,082 and ruin what we have.
- 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,792 So fuck all the way off!
- 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,961 ‐ Wait, wait, you're being two‐faced!
- 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,297 I've heard humans do that, but I've never seen it in real life.
- 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,006 Fascinating.
- 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,632 ‐ Leave now or pay the price.
- 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,093 Don't say I didn't warn you, fuckhead.
- 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,553 Uh‐oh! Speak of the devil.
- 00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:56,096 Welcome back, Terry‐cloth!
- 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,389 ‐ Terry! You'll never guess what happened.
- 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,266 Linus was completely different when you left.
- 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,393 He was‐‐ he was very mean and said lots of insults.
- 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,811 ‐ But before I left, he was super nice.
- 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,813 ‐ I know! Linus, show Terry your other face.
- 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,231 Get‐get all mean and nasty like you did.
- 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,941 ‐ Not sure what you're talking about, Korvo.
- 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,943 I don't think we spoke a word when Terry was gone.
- 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,904 You stared at the ground like a real, um,
- 00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:13,113 like, uh, you're so dumb.
- 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,740 ‐ Korvo, you don't have to make stuff up.
- 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,741 ‐ Why would I ever do that?
- 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,243 ‐ Maybe you're just a little jealous of my relationship with Linus.
- 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,163 ‐ I have a robe and sweet‐ass crystal that can make me levitate.
- 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,917 I'll never be jealous of some nerd who jerks off to lines.
- 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:25,918 ‐ You're embarrassing me.
- 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,544 ‐ Hey, remember when we waited in that line
- 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,839 to get into the first‐ever Jimmy Buffett Buffet and Urgent Care center
- 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,759 and I almost coded out because I ate all that shrimp that I'm allergic to?
- 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,886 ‐ Oh my god, so many fat fatties!
- 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,430 [both laugh] [Jesse moaning]
- 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,186 [Yumyulack panting]
- 00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,897 ‐ [laughs] This line is unstoppable!
- 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:49,358 Oh shit, a lake? Oh my god, oh, we're getting in the water?
- 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:50,609 Ha, that's genius!
- 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:53,487 We're going so much faster than those idiots standing on the street!
- 00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,615 [panting]
- 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,702 Hell yeah! Let's steal these bikes! Sick!
- 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:03,372 [laughing] [ringing bike bell]
- 00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,916 ‐ Come on, Korvo, do squats with us.
- 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,168 We gotta work out our muscles to keep them from atrophying.
- 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,212 ‐ He wouldn't understand. Look at his tiny legs.
- 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,506 They're like little matchsticks, except they'll never be lit.
- 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,174 ‐ See, that's that two‐faced shit right there.
- 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,134 ‐ It's called word play, Mr. Sensitive.
- 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,511 [phone buzzing] ‐ Ooh, I gotta take this.
- 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,805 It's my best friend Jeff. Terry, you would love him.
- 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,682 We met in a wedding line for the valet.
- 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,601 ‐ Okay, what the fuck is the dealio with you and Linus?
- 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,478 ‐ What, Korvo? He's my line husband.
- 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,106 You know, like how I have Gerard, my spin class husband,
- 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,525 and Billy Jr., my Sunday afternoon Costco husband.
- 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,568 God, why do you care so much?
- 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,237 ‐ I don't, okay. It's just, he touches your waist a lot.
- 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,114 ‐ Oh, it's just how we keep each other steady in line.
- 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:40,367 ‐ Did you see that alien creature do ancient martial arts on that Godzilla?
- 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,786 ‐ I think he's also going to have to fight that giant robot
- 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:43,704 that just came into town.
- 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,248 ‐ What? Pupa is fighting a giant lizard and a robot!
- 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,709 That sounds awesome! I‐I wish I could see better.
- 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,253 Dammit! This is so frustrating. I can't see the robot.
- 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,672 I bet it does all sorts of cool stuff like Chappie!
- 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,508 How does this not frustrate you?
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,926 ‐ I don't know, 'cause I'm smart?
- 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,970 ‐ [laughing] Alright, alright, bye‐bye.
- 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,764 Jeff wanted some tips on smoking a fuckin' rad pork shoulder.
- 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,517 I consider myself a grill master of sorts.
- 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,685 What'd I miss? ‐ Hold it!
- 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:07,936 Linus, you can't get back in line.
- 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,646 ‐ [mocking] You can't get back in line.
- 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,857 What are you talking about? I'm the king of this line.
- 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,983 ‐ You didn't call line check. TERRY: Oh!
- 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,860 ‐ I didn't "leave," I stepped, like, five feet away.
- 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,486 ‐ Well, guess what, that's called leaving.
- 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,155 How do you like those wordplay apples?
- 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,782 ‐ Oh no, I'm sorry, Linus, but he's right.
- 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,451 Calling line check is just a part of the rules,
- 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,912 and without rules, a line is just people standing around.
- 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,830 You know who said that? Gandhi.
- 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,457 I think. Or Kyle Von Titsenburg.
- 00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,375 ‐ Either way, you're outtie‐200, Linus.
- 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,127 You might want to find an easier line to stand in,
- 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,545 maybe at the park for the baby swings?
- 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,506 ‐ You shut your fuckin' mouth!
- 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:36,590 You're a line loser.
- 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:39,134 You should never be allowed to stand next to a pro like me.
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,636 ‐ There it is! Th‐th‐there's the other face!
- 00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,429 ‐ Whoa, he really does have two faces.
- 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,847 I thought that was just on TV! ‐ Right?
- 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,058 ‐ I hope you both get gonorrhea and go to hell
- 00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:47,559 and there's no line to get in.
- 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,019 ‐ Come on, Linus, don't be like this.
- 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,229 After all the waiting we've done together?
- 00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:52,189 ‐ You know what? I'm starting a better line.
- 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,316 ‐ You can't do that. That's against all the ancient codes.
- 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,902 ‐ Fuck the codes. I'm Linus.
- 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,654 Line is in my name!
- 00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:00,072 ‐ Gasp! ‐ Hey, everyone!
- 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,365 WOMAN: Whoa, is that Linus? ‐ Linus!
- 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,408 ‐ He won the Standee three years in a row.
- 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,452 ‐ I see a lot of familiar faces in line.
- 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,538 If you're a pro and not a loser
- 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,957 with blue or green skin and no butthole,
- 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,209 then follow me to a better way to stand,
- 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,794 right over here.
- 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,754 ‐ We better follow. ‐ Linus knows what he's doing.
- 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:16,922 ‐ Nobody fucks with Linus.
- 00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,966 ‐ But, but... Come on, guys! The‐the code!
- 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,429 ‐ Korvo, you ruined the greatest line of my lifetime.
- 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,806 ‐ It wasn't my fault. Linus‐‐
- 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,432 ‐ Ah, I can't even talk to you right now.
- 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,851 You wanted to share one of my hobbies with me,
- 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,602 and you literally made it my nightmare.
- 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,940 ‐ Derr! ‐ Ugh, son of a bitch!
- 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:40,153 ‐ Wow, business is exhausting.
- 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,406 ‐ Whoa, babe, you look like a million bucks.
- 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:44,074 I mean, you look like you make a million bucks
- 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:45,117 being a kickass businesswoman.
- 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:47,536 ‐ I am. The markets went wild today.
- 00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:49,371 You know how it is, ups and downs.
- 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,665 Stocks and bonds. Charts and pies.
- 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,625 ‐ I made a veal parmesan without the veal.
- 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,376 Your fave.
- 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,753 Why don't you kick off those heels and enjoy a nice meal.
- 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,173 ‐ This looks amazing. [bottle shatters]
- 00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:01,758 But the only thing I want for dinner is
- 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:05,721 your hair‐mouth on my mouth‐mouth, mister.
- 00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:08,473 [both moaning]
- 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,767 ‐ I cannot believe after 10 years of marriage,
- 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,144 we still have so much passion.
- 00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:15,522 ‐ Now flip me over like you flipped that not veal parmesan.
- 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,983 Fingerling me like your potatoes.
- 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:18,942 Gravy me!
- 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:21,570 ‐ I love it when you mix food and sex.
- 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:23,363 Just like my hero Ina Garten.
- 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,615 ‐ Wait, what are you looking at?
- 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:30,204 [woman whispers] [man chuckles]
- 00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,623 ‐ That hussy! No one steals my man!
- 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,210 How could you? After all our years of marriage!
- 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:39,129 After I work all day to pay for your sailboat.
- 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,049 ‐ Babe, she's just a friend. ‐ I can't believe this.
- 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:45,552 The one thing we promised each other was that we would never cheat.
- 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,929 ‐ You're being crazy.
- 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,848 ‐ He's playing you, ho. He totally fingers me on the reg.
- 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,767 ‐ I knew it! ‐ She's lying. Don't listen to her.
- 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:53,560 ‐ I can't live like this anymore.
- 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,646 We're through. I want a divorce.
- 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,734 ‐ Terry, t‐talk to me. ‐ You ruined a cat five line.
- 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,986 That's like interrupting the path of a really strong hurricane.
- 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,280 Who would stop an awesome, powerful hurricane?
- 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,824 ‐ Probably Storm the X‐Men, because she can control the weather
- 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,284 and it would prevent a lot of property damage.
- 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,119 ‐ Now you're rubbing it in my face that you're smarter than me.
- 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:13,288 Great. Keep the hits coming. ‐ Sorry about Linus.
- 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,749 I‐I thought I was respecting line rules, like you taught me.
- 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,669 ‐ I guess I am pretty proud of you for using the rules.
- 00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:19,795 ‐ I'm very good at rules.
- 00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:22,339 ‐ Man, I cannot believe Linus created a new line.
- 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:23,882 That's like the worst thing you can do.
- 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,509 Honestly, we should just leave and go home.
- 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:27,094 ‐ Why? We‐we've been here for hours.
- 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,721 I'm just starting to like the feeling of hard sidewalk beneath my feet.
- 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:30,889 ‐ Yeah, but we're fucked.
- 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,891 There are now two legitimate‐looking lines.
- 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:36,186 So when employees start letting people in, they won't know which line is real.
- 00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,522 The new line is all pros. Look at the way they stand.
- 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,065 KORVO: They are standing pretty excellently.
- 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,193 ‐ Their posture is impeccable! We got stuck with a bunch of slouchers.
- 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,778 The store is going to choose that line for sure.
- 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:45,487 ‐ Terry, look at me.
- 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,906 This is hard for me to say, because you know I don't like to compliment.
- 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,741 You're almost always lazy and annoying. ‐ Continue.
- 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,785 ‐ But you're the best line stander I've ever seen.
- 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,036 You make it look so easy.
- 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,163 You could stand here for hours just staring straight ahead,
- 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,623 and you'd have the time of your life.
- 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,166 ‐ That's called being in the zone, baby!
- 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,210 ‐ Remember what you loved about lines in the first place.
- 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,045 Think back, before all the gear, magazines,
- 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,547 and lifestyle of lines took over.
- 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,424 ‐ Yeah, I just loved how peaceful it was.
- 00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:08,177 ‐ Exactly. You don't need Linus or any of those pros.
- 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:10,596 The line isn't out here, it's inside you.
- 00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:11,638 Has been all along.
- 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,599 ‐ You're right, goddammit. I can do this.
- 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,225 Hey, Linus, you little nose picker.
- 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,602 It's on like ping pong!
- 00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,520 You're going down like a clown with a frown
- 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,688 who's about to get shot!
- 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:23,358 ♪ '80s synth music ♪
- 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:26,778 ♪
- 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,198 ‐ What're you‐‐ what're you doing?
- 00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,450 ‐ I don't need any of this. I'm going back to the basics.
- 00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,911 Back to who I was when I first fell in love with lines.
- 00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:36,455 ‐ [laughs] What a sucker. Who would ever pick your line?
- 00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:38,040 ‐ Terry Opposites would.
- 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,667 And now... we dance.
- 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,545 Metaphorically. Because otherwise we'd lose our place in line.
- 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,463 ‐ Duh!
- 00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,425 ‐ Aw, hell yeah!
- 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,552 Mud crawling! This line is playing.
- 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:52,888 Ow. Ow.
- 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,139 Paintballs?
- 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,724 Ha. I feel like‐‐ ah, ah, ah‐‐
- 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,976 I'm in the military video games I play
- 00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,354 so I can bully‐‐ ow‐‐ humans in their 30s.
- 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,022 [panting]
- 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,357 [air horn blares] ‐ Congratulations,
- 00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,234 you completed a Tough Fadder Run.
- 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:07,694 It's a more violent, millennial version of a marathon.
- 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,695 ‐ So the line is over?
- 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,447 ‐ Good work completing the course today, son.
- 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,157 ‐ Oh my god.
- 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:15,327 All day, I thought I was in a line but really,
- 00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,371 I was in the best line ever!
- 00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:19,790 ‐ It wasn't a line!
- 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:28,841 JESSE: [gasps] Wait a minute,
- 00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:31,385 she was just asking if he had a tampon.
- 00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:33,971 And he carries tampons with him to be helpful.
- 00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:36,265 Oh, he's such a great guy!
- 00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,810 I'm so sorry, I never should've doubted you.
- 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,687 I love you. I'll love you forever!
- 00:17:41,687 --> 00:17:43,522 ‐ Jesse, I would never betray you.
- 00:17:43,522 --> 00:17:45,691 I just like to have some super‐size tampons on me
- 00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:47,025 at all times for emergencies.
- 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,278 ‐ Let's adopt up to 28 rescue dogs
- 00:17:49,278 --> 00:17:51,697 and call each other "babe" forever.
- 00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:53,282 [moaning]
- 00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:54,783 Yes, I love you. Mmm.
- 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,660 No, I love you more. Mmm.
- 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,787 Fine, you do love me more. [gasps]
- 00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,957 A Microsoft Zune face tattoo?
- 00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:03,959 Did he do that for a contest?
- 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,961 Ugh, I'm out! [glass shatters]
- 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,088 [rumbling, Pupa screeching]
- 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,591 ‐ Oh look, it's the Pupa, Godzilla, and the Giant Robot.
- 00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,259 But‐but they're not fighting anymore?
- 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,468 Are‐are they kissing?
- 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:14,887 What the hell is the story over there?
- 00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:17,973 ‐ Dude, this giant robot was just handing out PS5s over there.
- 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:18,932 I got, like, 10.
- 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,809 ‐ Hey! Get back here and tell me how that makes sense!
- 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,102 What's happening over there with the Pupa?
- 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,188 ‐ Oh man, I wish I could get a PS5.
- 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,189 ‐ Who is giving out PS5s?
- 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,481 ‐ We gotta stay strong and defeat Linus.
- 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,693 ‐ Of all the days not to be able to leave a particular area‐‐
- 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,153 TERRY: They're opening the store! This is it!
- 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,237 Oh, I'm so nervous!
- 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,114 Which line do you think they'll pick? How's my standing looking?
- 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,532 I'm engaging my core and doing a Kegel.
- 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,491 ‐ You hot as hell.
- 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,578 ‐ Why does Linus look so sure?
- 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,080 Wait a hot minute. What does he know?
- 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:44,583 [gasps] That's the guy who called Linus.
- 00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,336 He has an inside man! What a cheating... fuck!
- 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:48,754 ‐ If he's gonna cheat, we're gonna cheat too.
- 00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:49,713 I'm using sci‐fi.
- 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,673 ‐ Korvo, no. I need to get back to line basics.
- 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,509 No gear, no tricks, no sci‐fi.
- 00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,969 If I'm going to lose, at least I'll lose it the old‐fashioned way.
- 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,055 ‐ Terry, you're really showing a lot of growth here.
- 00:18:58,055 --> 00:18:59,515 I'm proud of you for doing the right thing.
- 00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:01,767 ‐ Time for the ultimate focus and to get into the zone.
- 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:02,935 Become one with the line force.
- 00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:06,230 ‐ You've got this. Just close your eyes and think about winning this line.
- 00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:11,860 [laser pulsing]
- 00:19:17,658 --> 00:19:20,911 [standers grunting]
- 00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,998 ‐ Wait a minute, they're letting our line in.
- 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,291 I'm winning without cheating!
- 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,544 I beat his ass to hell with honor! ‐ Indeed you did.
- 00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:31,296 ‐ I did it! I can't believe it! I love being honorable.
- 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,631 I'm gonna have integrity forever.
- 00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:34,299 ‐ That's the Terry I've never known!
- 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:35,092 [grunting]
- 00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:37,511 ‐ I'm gonna get you fuckers back for this someday!
- 00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,596 Oh and‐‐ Oh, and Terry?
- 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,139 You and me? We're done!
- 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,225 Get yourself a line divorce lawyer
- 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:46,895 'cause I am headed to the path of a line separation
- 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:50,148 that is definitely leading to a costly line divorce.
- 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:55,070 ‐ Ohh. You can really taste the Supreme branding.
- 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,989 ‐ Ugh. The flavor of being too cool for me.
- 00:19:56,989 --> 00:19:59,032 ‐ Ooh, I love a new iPhone.
- 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,703 Paying for a new one every year really makes me... feel‐‐
- 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,872 oh shit. ‐ Oh my god. These sneakers.
- 00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,707 Oh yeah, my feet are gonna cum.
- 00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:08,250 Ohh! [sighs]
- 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,002 Terry, I get it now.
- 00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:12,212 Lines are a metaphor for the human experience.
- 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,298 It's not about the destination, it's about the journey.
- 00:20:14,298 --> 00:20:16,675 Because you have to truly believe in yourself to believe in your line.
- 00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,594 ‐ Meh, I just like being the first person with new stuff.
- 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:20,262 ‐ Goddammit, Terry, that's so stupid!
- 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,680 Why do you like such dumb shit?
- 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,015 ‐ I hate to see his face,
- 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:26,935 but I love to watch that neck walk away.
- 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,770 ‐ [panting] I was in the coolest line ever.
- 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,647 I got this t‐shirt and this medal that says,
- 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,441 "I finally bested my Tough Fadder."
- 00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:34,860 ‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm the t‐shirt guy. Hand it over.
- 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,280 ‐ I could be the fucking t‐shirt guy if you ever let me keep one.
- 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,908 ‐ Hello, Terry. This is my new line husband, James.
- 00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,159 We're going to wait for the midnight release
- 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:43,785 of the new Dan Brown novel together.
- 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,830 It's about how Noah solved murders at night on his ark.
- 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:47,873 Ha ha. Two at a time!
- 00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,249 ‐ Eat shit and die, Linus.
- 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,210 I got all the husband I need right here.
- 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,129 [burps]
- 00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:55,797 ‐ Pupa, there you are. W‐w‐what happened?
- 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,424 ‐ Horseradish! ‐ What?
- 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,051 Jesus, his receptive language is great,
- 00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:00,594 but we really need to work on his expressive.
- 00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:01,553 ‐ Glad somebody said it.
- 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,431 ‐ We better not be fucking sitting here at the beginning of the next episode.
- 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,058 I expect us to be in a whole other place.
- 00:21:06,058 --> 00:21:08,185 ‐ Actually, I think it's kinda‐‐ ‐ No, shut the fuck up.
- 00:21:08,185 --> 00:21:10,854 No more connecting episodes or any of that other streaming bullshit.
- 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,397 If this sentence connects to the next episode,
- 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:13,482 I'm going to be really, really‐‐
- 00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:17,569 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
- 00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,739 ♪
- 00:21:57,818 --> 00:21:59,319 [mimicking laser fire]
- 00:00:45,476 --> 00:00:47,476 ПРОДАНО
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