Стол для игры в пинг-понг — Корво и Терри устраиваются на работу в компанию, которая продаёт грабли. В соседнем офисе они видят, как сотрудники играют в пинг-понг и требуют от своего начальства такое же развлечение у себя в офисе. После небольшого несчастного случая главой компании становится Терри. Юмьюлак и Джесси решают проводить меньше времени вместе в школе. Одноклассницы советуют Джесси жестоко разыграть Юмьюлака, так как сёстры должны подшучивать над своими братьями.

Предыдущая серия S03 E12 Зловещий, Хэллоуинcкий, страшно противоположный солнечный специальный выпуск

Следующая серия S04 E02 Грабли для Земли

Стол для игры в пинг-понг

The Ping Pong Table

Сезон: 04Серия: 01

Описание

Корво и Терри устраиваются на работу в компанию, которая продаёт грабли. В соседнем офисе они видят, как сотрудники играют в пинг-понг и требуют от своего начальства такое же развлечение у себя в офисе. После небольшого несчастного случая главой компании становится Терри. Юмьюлак и Джесси решают проводить меньше времени вместе в школе. Одноклассницы советуют Джесси жестоко разыграть Юмьюлака, так как сёстры должны подшучивать над своими братьями.

Субтитры

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 HULU PRESENTA
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005 UN ORIGINAL DE HULU
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,634 ¡Chicos, chicos, chicos, miren esto!
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,136 Tengo la diana original de <i>Cheers</i> en eBay.
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,014 ¡Solo costó 100.000 dólares! Voy a colgarlo.
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,725 Ey, pensé que Korvo dijo que no debías arrojar metal en la casa
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,936 después de que le clavaras el cuchillo de mantequilla en el ojo.
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,354 ¡Estos son dardos famosos!
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,272 Lo que Korvo no sepa no le hará daño.
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,982 Miren esto. ¡Dios mío! [Korvo se queja]
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,610 [todos gritando]
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:27,903 - ¡Dios mío! - ¡Jesús santo!
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,947 Ve a por el rayo que arregla la voz.
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,073 Lo siento, grandulón. ¡Fue mi culpa! [Korvo con arcadas]
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,492 Lo arreglaremos en un santiamén.
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,619 [continúa con arcadas] [zumbido de láser]
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:36,703 [jadea]
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,705 [con acento británico] Les dije que no arrojaran metal aquí.
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,666 Vamos a llegar tarde al trabajo. ¡Dejen de molestar!
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,877 Oigan, ¿Korvo suena un poco raro?
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,254 Esta cosa no debe estar calibrada.
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,421 - Déjame intentarlo de nuevo. - ¡No!
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,174 No. Esto funciona para mí.
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,260 KORVO: Muy bien, andando, andando, vamos a movernos.
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,679 Odio llegar tarde. Me hace sentir acalorado y raro.
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,098 Me haces sentir a <i>mí</i> acalorado y raro. KORVO: ¿Qué fue eso?
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,891 ¡Nada! ¡Ya voy, cariño!
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:58,809 [puerta se cierra]
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,353 Esperen, ¿su voz va a ser así de ahora en adelante?
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,397 Sí, pero a mí me suena más o menos igual.
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,857 Nadie se va a dar cuenta.
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,280 KORVO: <i>El planeta Schlorp era una utopía perfecta</i>
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,031 <i>hasta que se estrelló el asteroide.</i>
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,410 <i>Cien adultos y sus réplicas recibieron una Pupa</i>
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,245 <i>y escaparon al... espacio,</i>
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,164 <i>en busca de nuevos hogares en mundos deshabitados.</i>
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,416 <i>Nosotros chocamos en la Tierra,</i>
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,334 <i>y quedamos varados en un mundo ya sobrepoblado.</i>
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,044 <i>Así es, yo he estado hablando todo este tiempo.</i>
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,254 <i>Soy el que sostiene al Pupa.</i>
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,881 <i>Me llamo Korvo. Este es mi programa.</i>
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,465 <i>¡Joder, se me acaba de caer el Pupa!</i>
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,800 <i>Ah, esto es ridículo.</i>
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,719 <i>Odio la Tierra. Es un hogar horrible.</i>
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,137 <i>La gente es estúpida y confusa.</i>
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,597 <i>Así es como suena mi voz ahora.</i>
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,765 <i>No me importa si es discordante. Supérenlo.</i>
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,434 <i>Y ese rayo cambiador de voz tiene cronitones,</i>
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,561 <i>así que así es como voy a sonar también en los flashbacks.</i>
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,104 <i>¡Si tienen un problema con eso, pues mala suerte!</i>
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,189 <i>¡Se llama ciencia!</i>
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:48,317 ♪
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,988 EN VENTA
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,823 KORVO: Muy bien, amigos shlorpianos. Se acabó.
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,825 Esta nave está arreglada, de verdad.
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,077 Al fin podemos irnos de este planeta de mierda para siempre.
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,288 Sé que dije esas mismas palabras varias veces antes,
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,956 pero esta vez pasará de verdad.
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,790 Aplaudan, todos, aplaudan.
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,877 [todos aplaudiendo y vitoreando]
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,128 ¡Bravo, Korvo!
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,255 De verdad, te esforzaste y arrastraste nuestros traseros
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,381 hasta la línea de llegada.
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,801 Y nos aguantaste tanta porquería nuestra por el camino.
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,137 Sin embargo, persististe.
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,139 Un aplauso para el K-Man.
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,390 K-Man te quiere, amigo.
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,142 Sí, los últimos meses han sido terribles,
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,560 reparando la nave los fines de semana,
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,354 esforzándome en ese aburrido trabajo de oficina
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,231 para darle al Pupa estructura y normalidad,
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:28,941 pero ha merecido la pena, porque ahora está mejor.
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,692 - ¿Cierto, Pupa? - ¡Pixar!
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,694 Mm, de vuelta a las terribles habilidades lingüísticas,
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:33,695 justo como me gusta.
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,448 Juntamos nuestras entradas para el Skee-Ball y te compramos algo.
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,409 Es una camiseta lisa con cuello en V.
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,620 ¡Ah! Siempre quise una con cuello en V,
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,080 pero nunca pensé que me quedaría bien.
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,332 Korvo, cariño, todo te queda bien.
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,168 ¡Muéstranos ese sexy esternón, cariño, oh!
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,796 - Guau. - Ah, qué V más profunda.
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,673 Volemos este agujero infernal.
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,258 [nave espacial zumbando y silbando]
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:59,596 TODOS: [coreando] ¡Korvo, Korvo, Korvo, Korvo, Korvo, Korvo!
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,307 HOMBRE: ¡Korvo, Korvo! [Korvo grita]
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,976 ¿Me estás tomando el pelo?
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,478 [suspira] Lo siento, debo haberme quedado dormido.
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,522 ¿Estaba dando una presentación o algo así?
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,691 <i>Tú</i> estabas dando una presentación.
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,901 Carajo, cierto. Lo siento, continuaré.
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,572 En conclusión, el informe sobre las hojas se retrasará indefinidamente.
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,073 Encargamos un estudio de tres millones de dólares
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,742 y aparentemente las hojas se pegan a las ramas.
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:24,079 Todos estos años, y creo que el calentamiento global no es un mito.
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,956 Si no alcanzamos nuestra cuota de rastrillos este mes,
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,749 habrá que hacer recortes.
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,667 TODOS: Ah...
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,920 Perdón, sí, solo para entender lo que acaba de decir.
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,965 ¿Por qué carajo nos importan los rastrillos?
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,676 Porque somos una empresa de rastrillos.
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,720 ¡Parece que los Solar Opposites
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,847 trabajan en una aburrida empresa de rastrillos ahora!
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:42,681 [golpe de cabeza] [mujer grita]
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,809 [ruedas chirriando]
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,144 - [golpe] - Guau.
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,105 [sorbiendo]
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,566 Jesse, Yumyulack, apúrense, van a perder el autobús.
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,609 [bosteza]
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:54,985 Tuve que quedarme despierta toda la noche
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,905 terminando mi diorama del sistema solar para clase.
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,864 Maldita ciencia.
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,073 Bien, estamos tratando de ser normales
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,201 y eso suena bastante normal si me preguntas.
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:03,952 ¿Qué carajo son todos estos planetas extra?
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,413 Los invisibles que los humanos aún no conocen aún.
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,042 Tierra Cuatro, Megan el Planeta y Su-Ano.
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,710 No podemos hablarle a la gente de ellos.
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,086 ¡Son invisibles por una razón!
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,546 Haz un sistema solar normal.
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,215 ¿Otra vez atún y palitos de zanahoria?
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,758 Ah, esta basura es asquerosa.
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,926 Es un almuerzo normal.
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,469 La única otra opción es la mantequilla de bellota,
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,720 olvida todos los otros frutos secos.
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,722 Que se jodan los niños alérgicos a los frutos secos.
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,599 ¡Debería ser la supervivencia del más fuerte!
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,226 No mataremos compañeros de clase.
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,311 ¡Tenemos que mantenerlo básico para el Pupa!
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,312 Mira lo feliz que es
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,356 con su actividad de enriquecimiento totalmente normal.
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,650 Nuestras miserables vidas le están dando estructura.
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,402 No querrás que vuelva a convertirse en un vapor de angustia adolescente, ¿no?
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,489 ¿Como todo eso que fue un gran problema a finales del año pasado? ¿Recuerdan?
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,990 - No, gracias. - No, eso fue horrible.
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,575 Entonces vayan y tengan un día normal en la escuela.
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:44,660 Sigan la corriente.
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,203 Terry, vamos.
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,121 Lo siento, me desperté con sensación de que era miércoles
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:48,997 ¡y es solo lunes!
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:49,873 No podemos llegar tarde.
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,459 El Sr. Sarner empieza a sospechar que no estoy por los rastrillos.
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,378 Sarner es un imbécil.
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:56,380 - Serías mucho mejor jefe que él. - Sí, obviamente.
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,465 Ese tonto tiene suerte de que sea una persona normal,
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,925 o ya le habría usurpado el trasero.
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,677 Usurpa esa basura, Korvo.
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,846 - AMBOS: ¡Guau! - Sí, amigo.
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,222 - Amiguito. - Oh. Hola.
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,474 ♪ música de suspenso ♪
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,392 KORVO: Demonios, ¿ves eso?
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,769 Amiguito y el Pupa se tratando como el carajo.
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,021 Lo siento, estoy usando "como el carajo" mucho.
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,231 Es como que no puedo parar.
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,649 - Deben haber tenido una pelea. - Como el carajo.
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,401 Oh, tal vez ese pequeño imbécil se mudará pronto.
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,569 No puedo esperar que lo haga.
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,945 Cuando lo conocimos, pensé que iba a ser
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,280 como esas cosas recurrentes,
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,073 pero ahora solo se siente como un remanente.
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:24,992 Oh.
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,495 Dios mío. ¿Por qué carajo caminan del brazo?
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,247 ¿Están saliendo?
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,832 No, es mi corréplica.
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,084 Están totalmente saliendo, asqueroso.
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,294 Son como <i>Oldboy.</i>
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,171 No, solo estamos usando partes de nutrientes
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,923 en nuestros codos para intercambiar información. Miren.
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,675 ♪ música dramática ♪
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,342 TODAS: ¡Iuu!
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,554 ¡No se supone que intercambies jugos con tu hermano!
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,763 Esto es totalmente normal.
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,682 Eso dices. Es una aberración.
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,808 ¡Se dan por los codos!
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:50,809 Miren, todos.
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,102 Se dan por los codos.
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,562 - Se dan por los codos. - Ah, cielos,
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,980 no sabía que éramos raros.
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,566 Tal vez deberíamos dejar de hacerlo en público por un tiempo.
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,359 No, tenemos que dejar de vernos en público por completo.
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,611 Somos radiactivos ahora.
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,529 Esta cosa de "se dan por los codos" se sabrá. Te lo aseguro.
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,364 Sí que suena creíble.
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,533 Todavía podemos pasar el rato, ¿cierto?
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,202 ¿Yum?
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,079 Ah, cielos.
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,582 [teléfono sonando]
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,834 [teclas chasqueando]
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,378 - [pitido de computadora] - ¿Cambiar mi contraseña de nuevo?
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,796 No, no lo haré.
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,964 ¡Nadie va a adivinar
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,759 "National guion Lampoons guion VanPassword69"!
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,260 Janice me está volviendo loco.
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,013 Me ha contado el mismo chiste todos los días por dos semanas.
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:31,350 Es como uno de esos largos y elaborados chistes sin chiste
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,726 como el humor de Maria Bamford.
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,770 Y siempre termina llorando porque atropellaron a su esposo
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,355 hace un año.
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:37,940 Terry, no creo que sea una broma.
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:38,941 Eso es lo que digo.
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,027 Estoy harto de forzar una risa falsa cada vez que acuna una foto de boda.
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,445 Es incómodo. ¡Ni siquiera es gracioso!
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,240 Demos un paseo hasta el Coffee Bean y te compro un café.
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,324 Eso siempre te calma.
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,659 ¡No quiero que me vuelvas a hablar, Janice!
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,868 ¡No eres Maria Bamford!
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,119 [llorando]
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,163 Jesse, ¿quieres que te partamos un trozo de esta galleta
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,374 de mantequilla de bellota que estamos compartiendo?
00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:56,667 Claro, tomaré un pedazo.
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,502 Oye, gracias por dejarme sentarme contigo.
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,420 Oímos que dejaste de salir con tu hermano pequeño.
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,548 Traicionar a la familia es mega genial.
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:05,425 Era raro cuando lo hacían en los codos del otro.
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,178 Bueno, Yumyulack y yo ya no hacemos eso.
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,889 O hablar o pensar el uno en el otro día por medio.
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:11,515 Eso es seguro.
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,142 No hay nada mejor que meterte con tu hermano pequeño.
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,143 Ah, bien.
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,145 No sabía que eso era una cosa que se hacía.
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,063 Ah, sí.
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,774 Puse una GoPro en un sombrero tejano y retransmití en directo
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,443 a mi hermano pequeño Conner alisándose el vello púbico.
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,445 Lo arruiné totalmente.
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,531 Tuvo que mudarse con Gram-Gram en Suecia.
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:30,534 Me parece un poco severo. Pero aún estoy aprendiendo
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,661 cómo es una relación normal entre hermanos.
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,580 Se parece a esconder un gramo de metanfetamina.
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,914 en el casillero de mi hermano.
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,292 Ahora va a la escuela en la cárcel. [ríe]
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,544 Entonces, ¿cómo vas a meterte con Yumyulack?
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,963 No lo sé. El listón parece muy alto.
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,924 Ay, Dios mío, deberías hacerlo en el baile Sobre el Mar.
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:49,261 Demonios, sí. Humillar a ese tipo delante de todos sus nuevos amigos.
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,929 ¡Si es que tiene alguno!
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:51,722 [todas ríen]
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,140 Esa es buena, Jesse.
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,934 SALÓN DE PROFESORES
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,561 [cigarro ardiendo]
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,229 Estoy tan contento de haber encontrado mi tribu.
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,106 ¿Este es el ambiente normal aquí?
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,733 Sí, fumamos en cadena,
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,985 contamos los días que faltan para la pensión
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,196 e imitamos a los estudiantes más tontos.
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,780 "Eh, soy Greg Simmons.
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240 acabé en los pantalones.
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,242 viendo <i>Romeo y Julieta</i> en clase".
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,286 [todos riendo]
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,412 [Yumyulack tose]
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,497 Para la última hora, pondremos <i>Seabiscuit</i>
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,666 y nos escabulliremos a Islands para Mahalo Hour.
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,709 ¡Claro que sí!
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,170 ¡El último en llegar me compra un té helado de Big Island!
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:25,672 [campanilla del elevador]
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,924 [puertas del elevador chirriando]
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,385 Mm, Me encanta el hielo... ¿Qué estás haciendo?
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,970 Estoy haciendo que tarde lo máximo posible
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,013 en volver a la oficina.
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,557 Odio mucho estar allí, Korvo. Prefiero estar en el ascensor.
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,185 Supongo que tenemos que aceptar el hecho de que el trabajo es aburrido.
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,520 No hay forma de evitarlo.
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:43,398 ♪ música de triunfo ♪ [trabajadores celebrando]
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,026 Toma esto.
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,780 ♪
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,822 Oye, ¿quieren ayudar?
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,533 Guau, ¿qué es eso?
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,575 Es ping pong.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,160 Ping ping.
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,246 ¿Y este es un lugar de negocios?
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,957 Ah, sí. Somos un centro de llamadas para Bed, Bath & Beyond.
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:03,001 Uf, suena como el trabajo más aburrido como el carajo que hay.
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,921 Solía serlo, hasta que nuestro jefe nos compró esta mesa maravillosa.
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,464 ¿Su jefe se las compró?
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,175 ¿La mesa de ping ping es parte oficial de la oficina?
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,677 ¡Sí, este trabajo es genial!
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,971 - ¡Ping ping! - ¡Ping ping!
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,889 - Mire, el hecho es... - Cuelga el teléfono.
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,724 Terry y yo encontramos una forma de resolver nuestros problemas.
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,767 ¿Qué problemas?
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,395 Solo necesitamos una cosa súper importante de usted.
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,146 Redoble de tambores. ♪ banda de música marchando ♪
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,982 ¿Quiénes son estos chicos?
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,067 - ¿Cómo...? - Cómprenos una mesa de ping ping.
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,361 No. ♪ trombón triste ♪
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,195 Salgan de aquí, carajo.
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,322 Si no conseguimos la mesa, no les pagaremos.
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,869 ¡Chicos! Esa era una llamada importante.
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:37,828 La cosa es así, Sarner.
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,622 El ambiente de trabajo que creó apesta.
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,083 Nuestra investigación muestra que el ambiente es mejor en otras oficinas,
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,252 oficinas con ping ping.
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,296 Una mesa de ping pong sería demasiado perturbador.
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,297 No lo aceptaré.
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,674 Bueno, Terry, creo que el Sr. Sarner ha sido claro y...
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,885 Medimos un lugar perfecto para ella en la sala de calderas.
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:55,012 No deberían bajar a la sala de calderas.
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,430 Es extremadamente peligroso.
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,472 ¿Eh, Wendy?
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,474 Hola, siento mucho que se haya cortado.
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,978 Korvo, amigo, ¿por qué carajo no me ayudaste?
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,188 Sé cómo conseguir la mesa de ping ping,
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,981 pero requerirá un poco de intriga de alto nivel.
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,065 Vamos.
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:08,567 [puerta zumba]
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,030 Aisha, trae el set de intrigas donde nos gusta fumar y armar intrigas.
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,824 AISHA: <i>Guau, nada de: "Aisha, ¿cómo va tu día?".</i>
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:16,617 <i>¿Vamos directo al grano?</i>
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,951 Sabes que te quiero. Lo lamento.
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,536 AISHA: <i>¿Lo lamentas porque lo lamentas</i>
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,330 <i>o porque te dije la verdad?</i>
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:21,997 Ambos.
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,168 Oh, oh, oh, me voy a poner algo más de intriga.
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,757 Ese imbécil no sabe cómo hacer que sus empleados se sientan valorados.
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,592 Si tu fueras el jefe, una mesa de ping ping genial
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,552 sería tu primera compra.
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,971 [quejido] No me digas, pero ese no es el mundo en el que vivimos.
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,307 - Así que luchamos. - Guau, cuello en V, ¿eh?
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,434 No te burles de mí. Me siento inseguro de esto.
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,560 No, me encanta.
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,395 Especialmente cuando tu pecho esté más definido.
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,522 Lo siento, sigue con la intriga.
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:49,233 Sarner dijo que somos los únicos empleados que quieren ping ping.
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,152 Pero si probamos que nuestros compañeros también exigen ping ping,
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,196 ¡entonces él será encajonado por su propia lógica!
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,740 Ah, ¡pero todos en la oficina son unos imbéciles!
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,408 Hice una lista de nuestros compañeros más estúpidos
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,451 y con más amigos.
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,161 Si conseguimos que apoyen el ping ping,
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,371 el resto se alineará.
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,374 Pero todos nos odian guion están celosos guion quiere acostarse conmigo.
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,708 Entonces los motivamos.
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,420 TERRY: <i>El primero de la lista es Doug</i>.
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,130 <i>Siempre está hablando de lo mucho que le gustan</i>
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,091 <i>las barritas vintage Mr. Big de Shaquille O'Neal.</i>
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,137 KORVO: <i>Pim y Jam. Claramente enamorados el uno del otro,</i>
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,931 <i>pero Jam tiene un estúpido novio que no le gusta a nadie</i>
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,058 <i>y Pim es demasiado tonto para hacer algo al respecto.</i>
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,394 [Jam suspira] <i>Solo necesita un empujoncito.</i>
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:28,605 No puedo creer que mi novio me engañe con esta puta fea.
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,402 TERRY: <i>Luego, está la gran estúpida de Janice.</i>
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:36,488 <i>Y todos sabemos que a esa aburrida perra solo le importa una cosa.</i>
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,658 Este es el hombre que mató a tu esposo y se fugó hace dos veranos.
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,451 Firma nuestra petición y será tuyo.
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,829 Así es. ¡Lo hice y lo volvería a hacer!
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:44,830 [amartilla pistola]
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,332 [pitidos de computadora]
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,044 [portazo]
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,921 Juego, set, partido, Sarner.
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,339 Esas son palabras de ping ping.
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,593 En tus manos hay una petición firmada por todos en la oficina.
00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,512 El mensaje es claro: sus trabajadores exigen el ping.
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,264 La respuesta es no.
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,808 Al carajo. Dijo que éramos los únicos que queríamos el ping ping
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,518 y lo atrapé con sus propias palabras.
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:07,853 ¡Todo su argumento se ha derrumbado!
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,062 No importa.
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,398 Me reuniré con la junta directiva mañana por la tarde
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,400 y harán una auditoría completa de nuestros gastos.
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,068 Y si no les gusta lo que ven,
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,945 van a cerrar esta sucursal.
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,573 No hay manera de que pueda justificar una mesa de ping pong,
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,743 y ya te he dicho que no es seguro en la sala de calderas.
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,703 ¡Ahora salgan de mi oficina!
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,875 AISHA: <i>Estás muy cerca, Pupa.</i>
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:30,709 [Pupa gruñe] <i>¿Quieres una pista?</i>
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:31,460 [puertas zumbando]
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,794 Aisha, pregunta rápida.
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,421 Uhh ¿dónde está el Multiplicador Fálico?
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,298 AISHA: <i>Chica, ¿para qué necesitas el rayo de pene?</i>
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,508 Mi broma de hermana mayor.
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,302 Voy a cubrir a Yumyulack de penes en el baile Sobre el Mar.
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,137 AISHA: <i>No puedes humillar así a Yumyulack.</i>
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,514 <i>Es un maldito célibe.</i>
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:46,308 [se mofa] En todo caso, voy a ser suave con él.
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,727 Deberías oír lo que las Staci le hacen a sus hermanos.
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:52,189 AISHA: <i>La confianza es la clave para mantener los codos abiertos y fluidos.</i>
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,608 <i>Sin ella, se cerrarán para siempre, como el agujero de un pendiente.</i>
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,943 ¿Para siempre?
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,320 ¿Cómo es que esta es la primera vez que escucho esto?
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:58,987 [golpe de botella]
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,239 [bocina de auto] [neumáticos chirrían]
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,866 Vete al carajo, Jesse. [todos riendo]
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,076 Extraterrestre estúpida.
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,163 Voy a necesitar ese rayo de penes ya mismo.
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,916 [máquina chasqueando]
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,294 AISHA: <i>Son adolescentes, hay que dejar que cometan errores.</i>
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,714 ♪ música melodramática ♪
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:18,966 [tragando]
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,221 [chasquido de interruptor de luz]
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,224 [sopla]
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:32,646 RECUERDOS IMPORTANTES: ABRIR SOLO POR RAZONES SENTIMENTALES
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,607 [suspira]
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:42,114 ♪
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,075 [ríe]
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,329 Ustedes dos vengan conmigo.
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,747 [teléfono sonando]
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:56,003 He pensado mucho en lo que dijeron y...
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:56,628 [chasquido de interruptor de luz] [gritos ahogados de Terry y Korvo]
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,714 Sarner, hermoso bastardo.
00:13:58,714 --> 00:13:59,798 Conseguiste la mesa de ping ping.
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,008 Pero la junta de directores.
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,342 Dijiste que no podías justificarlo.
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,468 No te preocupes por la junta.
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,846 Sé algo perfecto que decir para conseguir que firmen.
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806 Pero tengo una condición.
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,683 - Que me den el primer partido. - Trato hecho.
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,019 ¡Guau, al final eres un tipo bastante bueno!
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,855 Oye, trabajar con ustedes dos hace que sea fácil ser bueno.
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:15,689 KORVO: ¡Oh!
00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:18,317 [chorros de sangre] ¡Santo Dios!
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,818 Guau, Sarner tenía razón.
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,737 La sala de calderas es muy peligrosa.
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,906 Digo, para él, no para nosotros.
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,616 Así que supongo que ambos teníamos razón.
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,328 [estudiantes riendo]
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,829 Repasemos el plan.
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,124 Todo comienza cuando el director Cooke entregue los premios estudiantiles.
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,585 Convencimos a todos de votar por Yumyulack
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,003 para el Cuerpo Más Mejorado.
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,255 Y cuando sube al escenario para aceptar...
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:44,551 Lo asfixio con <i>shlongs</i> como una hermana mayor normal.
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,511 [Multiplicador Fálico chirriando]
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,429 - Veo su cerebro. - Estamos arruinados.
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,514 - Veo su maldito cerebro. - Estamos arruinados.
00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:49,515 ¿Qué hacemos? ¿Qué hacemos?
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,975 AISHA: <i>¿Qué trama de comedia están tramando esta vez?</i>
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,227 Estamos en un aprieto, Aisha.
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:56,396 En unas horas, la junta de directores espera reunirse con el Sr. Sarner.
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,982 AISHA: <i>¿Y ese es su trasero muerto ahí en mi cubierta de Pretendo?</i>
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,318 Sí, ¡y ahora la junta nos quitará la mesa de ping ping
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,820 porque Sarner no estará allí para decir algo perfecto y justificarlo!
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,906 Ah, ¡aún no he podido jugar!
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,908 AISHA: <i>¿Por qué no resucitan a este tipo</i>
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,576 <i>para que pueda hablar él mismo con la junta?</i>
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,204 <i>Saben que tengo una manga entera de esas bolas de Resurrección, ¿verdad?</i>
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,039 ¿No pondría en peligro el progreso de Pupa
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,290 usar dispositivos de esa manera?
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,084 AISHA: <i>Pero es solo una pequeña bolita.</i>
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,210 Sí, a mí me parece bien. ¿Korvo?
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,046 También acepto es racionalización.
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,174 Mm, qué rico. [bolita crujiendo]
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,092 Mastícala bien.
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,134 Ñam, ñam, ñam.
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,261 - [Sr. Sarner suspira] - ¡Ah, carajo!
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,138 Ah, carajo. ¿Me das otra bolita?
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,640 [risita] Clásico.
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,810 Y en la categoría Más Probable que sea un Narco,
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:38,897 ustedes, los estudiantes, votaron por Rick Blaze.
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:39,898 [estudiantes aplauden y vitorean]
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:43,151 Rick también fue elegido Mejor Rebotador.
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,152 Aquí hay otro trofeo.
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,822 Felicidades, detective Rick.
00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,614 Ah, solo Rick.
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,617 Y ahora, un premio que quizás deberíamos dejar de hacer...
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,451 [chillido del multiplicador]
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,954 Cuerpo más mejorado.
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,415 ¡Y el ganador es Yumyulack!
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,208 ¡Ay, Dios mío!
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,459 ¡Gracias!
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,504 Ni siquiera sabía que este cuerpo se podía mejorar.
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,338 [grito ahogado de Pupa]
00:16:04,173 --> 00:16:07,593 ♪ música dramática ♪
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,303 EL PASADO
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,680 [cataratas burbujeando]
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:16,435 ♪
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,980 [agua salpicando]
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,653 Deberían estar creciendo y prosperando como el resto de la cosecha.
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,864 ¿Qué les pasa a estos dos?
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:31,450 Mmm, tengo una idea más.
00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:37,456 ♪ música dramática ♪
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:39,291 [Multiplicador Fálico se apaga]
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:41,001 ¡No puedo hacerlo!
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,545 Sabía que eras una falsa Staci.
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,296 Dame eso.
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:45,881 Lo haré yo misma.
00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:47,508 [rayo láser chillando, golpeteando]
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,594 ¡Ah, no!
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:54,139 ¡Estoy cubierta de penes años antes de tiempo!
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,390 ¿Qué acaba de pasar?
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:58,560 Las Staci querían que te hiciera una broma, pero no me pareció bien.
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,939 Siempre nos hemos cubierto las espaldas y no voy a dejar de hacerlo ahora.
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:03,524 Oh, gracias.
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:07,444 Y el premio al Mejor Moño es para... ¡Jesse!
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,905 ¿Yo? Eh, se dieron cuenta.
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,031 YUMYULACK: ¡No!
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:11,865 ¿Por qué no?
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:15,285 ¿Eso es una trampa de tronco Ewok?
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,912 Los profesores y yo preparamos esos troncos
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,665 para aplastarte la cabeza cuando aceptaras Mejor Moño.
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:20,707 Fue idea suya.
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,251 Gracias por no haberlo hecho.
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:24,419 Parece que se han esforzado mucho.
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,213 El truco está en izarlo primero como un gran tronco
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,631 y luego cortarlo por la mitad.
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:29,675 Ah, sí, ¡eso es pensar con la cabeza!
00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:32,594 No volverás a emborracharte con nosotros en Islands.
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,346 Pensábamos que eras uno de los nuestros.
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:35,264 Pues no lo soy.
00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:36,974 Soy un shlorpiano.
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:41,937 Y el ganador al Mejor Trombista, Billy Hosenberg.
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:43,564 [todos aplaudiendo]
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:45,482 [todos suspiran con asombro]
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,986 Muy bien, creo que el premio es para Jackie Quilbard.
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:50,904 ¡Carajo, lo logré!
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,823 Está muy elegante, Sr. Sarner.
00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:54,408 [grita] Tengo un cuerpo.
00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:56,493 Demonios. ¡Sí, lo resucitamos!
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:59,913 Flotaba en el resplandor eterno por un millón de años.
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,415 Seguro, cálido.
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:02,749 ¡Necesitas recordar lo que iba a decir
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,959 a la junta de directores
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,170 para justificar el gasto de una mesa de ping ping!
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,005 He estado aquí antes.
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,965 He hecho unas fichas para ayudarlo a refrescar la memoria.
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:12,676 "El ping ping aumenta la productividad en un cincuenta por ciento".
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,511 Es todo mentira, pero a ver si pasa.
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,680 ¿Cómo he vuelto a este plano de la existencia?
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,598 ¿Quiere callarse?
00:18:17,598 --> 00:18:20,392 Literalmente a nadie le ha importado lo que pasa después de morir.
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,518 La junta está aquí.
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:22,686 Necesito más tiempo, Terry.
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,730 Sarner se está portando como un bebé con su resurrección.
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,857 Atravesé la montaña negra.
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,525 ¿Por qué volví?
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:31,069 Bien, tendré que entretenerlos con el viejo encanto.
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,073 ¿Dónde está Sarner? No tenemos todo el día.
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,742 ¡Somos miembros de la junta!
00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:37,701 Está en camino.
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:42,414 Pero antes quería que pasara a hacer un breve preámbulo.
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:44,416 Rastrillos, ¿de dónde vienen?
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:45,584 ¿Cómo se hacen?
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:46,627 Cuando lo piensas,
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:50,797 un rastrillo es solo un gran tenedor para hojas.
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,758 Lo que me lleva a mi siguiente pregunta.
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,302 ¿No somos solo una empresa de ensaladas para césped?
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,012 ¿Qué demonios estás diciendo?
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,764 Ah, miren a este tipo. Quizás necesitas uno de estos
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:00,182 para peinarte, ¿verdad?
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,767 [todos ríen]
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,685 Muy bien, me atrapaste. Me atrapaste.
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:04,853 [todos riendo]
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:07,773 Sarner, me alegro de que por fin te unas a nosotros.
00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:10,108 ¡Soy la eternidad hecha finitud!
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,527 [grita]
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,154 Está haciendo referencia a <i>Dune</i>.
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,656 La junta revisó sus libros
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,699 y tengo que decir que estamos decepcionados.
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,409 ¡No puedo estar aquí!
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,953 No juegues a ganar simpatía.
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:23,413 Prometiste recortar gastos, pero ayer
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,208 compraste una mesa de ping pong con la tarjeta de la empresa.
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,793 Todos estamos hechos de luz,
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,336 ¡y a esa luz volveré!
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,671 [vidrio se rompe] [grita]
00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:31,713 [golpe] [alarma de auto sonando]
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:34,383 Sabía que tenía que haber traído un par de bolitas de más.
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,303 Todos se ríen de nosotros, pero no me importa.
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,596 Que se vayan al carajo. Esta es nuestra normalidad.
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:42,266 Si los otros chicos supieran lo que se siente con esta conexión,
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:44,393 quizá no nos juzgarían tanto.
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,019 [grito ahogado de Pupa]
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:47,354 [campanilla]
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,522 Ah.
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:50,691 ♪ música dramática ♪
00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:53,485 ♪
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,528 Ah.
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:59,283 [inhala profundamente]
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:00,492 [suspira]
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:01,451 Ah, sí.
00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:05,747 [charla de radio de policía indistinta]
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,709 ♪ música de suspenso ♪
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:10,252 No creerás que esos policías van a averiguar
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,461 qué le pasó realmente a Sarner, ¿verdad?
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,588 Espero que no, carajo.
00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:14,006 No podemos darle al Pupa una vida normal
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:15,716 si nos condenan por homicidio involuntario.
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:18,343 Bueno, venga lo que venga, lo superaremos... juntos.
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,261 Los policías se fueron.
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,180 Les explicamos que la presión de la industria del rastrillo
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,765 fue demasiado para Sarner y se suicidó por debilidad.
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:27,102 ¡Sí! Sarner era un cobarde y nadie investigará a un extraterrestre.
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:29,229 De acuerdo. Creemos que, bajo un nuevo liderazgo,
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,440 esta sucursal podría realmente cambiar.
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,691 Me encantaría participar.
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:36,320 Terry, nos gustó tu improvisación de pánico, cuando nos entretuviste antes.
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,780 ¿Te gustaría ser el nuevo director de la sucursal?
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:40,741 ¿Yo? ¿El jefe?
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:42,242 ¡Carajo, sí!
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,620 ¡Genial! Vamos a emborracharnos en Islands para celebrarlo.
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:46,330 Pero, pero... Pero, Terry, iba a...
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,081 Lo primero que tienes que hacer es deshacerte
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,917 de esa horrible mesa de ping pong.
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,919 Sí, tienes razón, Wendy. Es demasiado molesta.
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,253 Korvo, ¡destruye esa cosa mientras estoy fuera!
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,005 Pero quería ir con ustedes.
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:58,050 No. Es una orden oficial de tu jefe.
00:20:58,050 --> 00:21:00,844 Así es: a partir de ahora, yo soy el jefe, cariño.
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,514 Bueno, no el Boss Baby, pero soy tu jefe, cariño.
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,349 ¡Carajo, ahora quiero una botella de leche, maldición!
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:07,559 ¡Que alguien me traiga leche porque soy el maldito jefe, cariño!
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,770 [Terry y los miembros de la junta ríen]
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:12,147 ¡Amo esta empresa!
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,650 ♪ música dramática ♪
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:57,985 [simulando disparo láser]

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ dramatic theme ♪
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,634 Guys, guys, guys, check it out!
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,136 I got the original dartboard from <i>Cheers</i> on eBay.
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,014 It only cost $100,000! I'm gonna put it up.
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,725 Hey, I thought Korvo said no more throwing metal in the house
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,936 after you got that butter knife stuck in his eye.
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,354 These are famous darts!
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,272 Whatever Korvo doesn't know won't hurt him.
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,982 Watch this. Oh, my God! [Korvo grunts]
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,610 [all shouting]
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:27,903 - Oh, my God! - Jesus!
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,947 Go get the voice-fixing ray.
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,073 I'm sorry, big guy. My bad! [Korvo gagging]
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,492 We'll get this fixed in a jiffy!
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,619 [continues gagging] [laser whirring]
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:36,703 [panting]
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,705 [British accent] I told you not to throw metal around here.
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,666 We're going to be late to work. Stop buggering about!
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,877 Hey, does Korvo sound a little off?
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,254 This thing must not be calibrated.
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,421 - Let me try again. - No!
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,174 No. This is working for me.
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,260 KORVO: All right, chop chop, let's get a move on.
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,679 I hate being late. It makes me feel hot and weird.
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,098 You make me feel hot and weird. KORVO: What was that?
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,891 Nothing! Coming, sweetie!
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:58,809 [door closes]
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,353 Wait, is his voice just gonna be like that from now on?
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,397 Yeah, but it sounds pretty much the same to me.
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,857 Nobody's gonna notice.
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,280 KORVO: <i>Planet Schlorp was a perfect utopia</i>
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,031 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,410 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,245 <i>and escaped into the-- space,</i>
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,164 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,416 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,334 <i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,044 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,254 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,881 <i>My name's Korvo. This is my show.</i>
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,465 <i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa!</i>
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,800 <i>Oh, this is ridiculous.</i>
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,719 <i>I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.</i>
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,137 <i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,597 <i>This is what my voice sounds like now.</i>
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,765 <i>I don't care if it's jarring. Get over it.</i>
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,434 <i>And that voice-changer ray has chronitons in it</i>
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,561 <i>so this is what I'm going to sound like in flashbacks too.</i>
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,104 <i>You got a problem with that, then tough shit!</i>
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,189 <i>It's called science!</i>
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:48,317 ♪
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,823 KORVO: Alright, fellow Shlorpians, this is it.
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,825 The ship is fixed for real, real.
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,077 Finally, we can leave this piece of shit planet for good.
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,288 I know I've said those exact words multiple times before,
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,956 but this time it's actually happening.
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,790 Clap. Everyone, clap.
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,543 [all clapping and cheering]
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,128 Bravo, Korvo.
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,255 You really sacked up and dragged our sorry asses
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,381 across the finish line.
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,801 And you put up with so much BS from us along the way.
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,137 Nevertheless, you persisted.
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,139 Gotta give it up for the K man.
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,390 K Man feels you, dawg.
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,142 Yes, the last few months have been a bitch,
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,560 repairing the ship on weekends,
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,354 slogging through that boring-ass office job
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,231 to give the Pupa structure and normalcy,
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:28,941 but it was worth it, because he's all better now.
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,692 - Right, Pupa? - Pixar!
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,694 Mm, back to terrible language skills,
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:33,695 just the way I like it.
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,448 We pooled our Skee-Ball tickets and got you a little something.
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,409 It's a plain T-shirt with a deep V.
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,620 Oh! I always wanted a deep V,
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,080 but I never thought I could pull it off.
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,332 Korvo, honey, you can pull anything off.
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,168 Show us that sexy sternum, baby, oh!
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,796 - Whoa. - Ooh, that's a deep V.
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,673 Let's blow this hellhole.
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,258 [spaceship whirring and whooshing]
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:59,596 ALL: [chanting] Korvo, Korvo, Korvo, Korvo, Korvo, Korvo!
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,307 MAN: Korvo, Korvo! [Korvo screams]
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,976 Are you freaking kidding me?
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,478 [sighs] Sorry, I must have nodded off.
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,522 Were you giving a presentation or something?
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,691 <i>You</i> were giving a presentation.
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,901 Shit, right. Sorry, I'll continue.
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,572 In conclusion, uh, the leaf report will be delayed indefinitely.
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,073 We commissioned a $3 million study,
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,742 and apparently the leaves are just sticking to the branches.
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:24,079 All these years, and I guess global warming wasn't a myth.
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,956 If we don't hit our rake quota this month,
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,749 there will have to be cutbacks.
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,667 ALL: Aw.
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,920 Sorry, yeah, just to dig in and unpack some of what you said.
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,965 Why in the fuck do we care about rakes?
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,676 Because we're a rake company.
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:41,847 Looks like the Solar Opposites work at a boring rake company now.
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:42,681 [head thuds] [woman screams]
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,809 [wheels squeaking]
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,144 - [clatters] - Whoa.
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,105 [sucking]
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,566 Jesse, Yumyulack, hurry up, you're gonna miss the bus.
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,609 [yawns]
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:54,985 Had to stay up all night
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,905 finishing my solar system diorama for class.
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,864 Goddamn science.
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,073 Good, we're trying to be normal,
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,201 and that sounds pretty damn normal if you ask me.
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:03,952 What the fuck are all these extra planets?
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,413 The invisible ones the humans don't know about yet.
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,042 Earth Four, Megan thee Planet, and Their-Anus.
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,710 We can't tell people about those.
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,086 They're invisible for a reason.
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,546 Make a normal solar system.
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,215 Tuna fish and carrot sticks again?
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,758 Ah, this shit nasty.
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,926 It's a normal lunch.
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,469 The only other option is acorn butter.
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,720 All the other nuts are off the table.
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,722 Screw those kids with nut allergies.
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,599 It should be survival of the fittest.
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,226 No killing your classmates.
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,311 We have to keep it basic AF for the Pupa.
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,312 Look how happy he is
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,356 with his totally normal enrichment activity.
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,650 Our miserable lives are giving him structure.
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,402 You don't want him turning back into a steam of teen angst again, do you?
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,489 Like that whole thing that was a big deal at the end of last year, remember?
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,990 - No, thank you. - No, that fucking sucked.
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,575 Then go have a normal day at school.
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:44,660 Stay the course.
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,203 Terry, let's go.
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,121 Sorry, I woke up with a case of the Wednesdays,
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:48,997 and it's only Monday.
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:49,873 We can't be late.
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,459 Mr. Sarner's starting to suspect I'm not in it for the rakes.
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,378 Man, Sarner is such a dick brain.
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:55,754 You'd be a way better boss than him.
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:56,380 Yeah, no duh.
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,465 That fool's lucky I'm being normal AFF,
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,925 or I'd have usurped his ass already.
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,677 Yeah, usurp that shit, Korvo.
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,846 - BOTH: Whoa! - Yeah, buddy.
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,222 - Little Buddy. - Oh. Hey.
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,474 ♪ suspenseful music ♪
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,392 KORVO: Damn, you see that?
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,769 Little Buddy and Pupa were cold AF to each other.
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,021 I'm, I'm sorry, I'm using "AF" way too much.
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,231 I kinda can't quit.
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,649 - They must've had a falling out. - AF.
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,401 Oh, maybe that little fucker will move out soon.
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,569 I sure as shit hope so.
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,945 When we met him, I thought he'd be like
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,280 this whole reoccurring thing,
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,073 but now he just feels like a remnant.
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:24,992 Oh.
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,495 Oh, my lord, why the fuck are you walking arm-in-arm?
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,247 Are you, like, dating?
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,832 No, she's my co-replicant.
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,084 They're totally dating, gross.
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,294 They're like <i>Oldboy.</i>
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,171 Na-uh, we're just using nutrient parts
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,923 in our elbows to exchange information. Look.
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,675 ♪ dramatic music ♪
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,342 ALL: Ew.
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,554 You're not supposed to exchange juices with your brother.
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,763 This is totally normal.
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,682 As if. It's fucking freaky.
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,808 Elbow fuckers!
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:50,809 Look, everyone.
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,102 They fuck elbows.
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,562 - They fuck elbows, everybody. - Ah, man,
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,980 I didn't know we were weird.
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,566 Maybe we should stop porting in public for a while.
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,359 No, we need to stop hanging out entirely.
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,611 We're radioactive right now.
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,529 This "elbow fucker" thing's got legs. I can tell.
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,364 It does have a ring to it.
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,533 But we could still hang out, right?
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,202 Yum?
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,079 Ah geez.
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,582 [telephone ringing]
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,834 [keys clacking]
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,545 - [computer beeps] - Reset my email password again?
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,796 No, I'm not doing it.
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,964 Nobody's going to guess
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,759 "National dash Lampoons dash VanPassword69."
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,260 Janice is driving me crazy.
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,013 She's told me the same joke every day for two weeks.
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:31,350 Ugh, it's like one of those long, elaborate non-joke jokes,
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,726 like the humor of Maria Bamford.
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,770 And it always ends with her crying about her husband
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,355 getting hit by a car a year ago.
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:37,940 Terry, I don't think that's a joke.
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:38,941 That's what I'm saying.
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,027 I'm sick of forcing out a fake laugh every time she cradles a wedding photo.
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,445 It's uncomfortable. It's not even funny.
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,240 Let's take a walk to the Coffee Bean and get you a flat black.
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,324 That always calms you down.
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,659 Enough with the bits, Janice!
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,868 You're not Maria Bamford!
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,119 [sobs]
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,163 Jesse, you want us to break you off a piece
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,374 of this acorn butter cracker that we're all sharing?
00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:56,667 Sure, I'll take a shard.
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,502 Hey, thanks for letting me sit with you.
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,420 We heard you stopped hanging out with your little brother.
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,548 Betraying family is, like, mega cool.
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:05,425 That was weird when you guys used to jizz into each other's elbows.
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,178 Well, Yumyulack and I don't do that anymore,
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,889 or talk or think about each other every second of the day.
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:11,515 That's for sure.
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,142 There's nothing better than fucking with your little brother.
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,143 Oh, okay.
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,145 I didn't know that was a thing that was done.
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,063 Oh yeah.
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,774 I put a GoPro in a 10-gallon hat and live-streamed
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,443 my little brother Conner straightening his pubes.
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,445 It fucking ruined him.
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,531 He had to move in with Gramgram in Sweden.
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:30,534 That feels a tad harsh, but I am still learning
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,661 what a normal sibling relationship looks like.
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,580 It looks like hiding a gram of crystal meth
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,914 in my brother's locker.
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,292 He goes to school in jail now. [laughs]
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,544 So how are you gonna fuck with Yumyulack?
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,963 I don't know. The bar seems really high.
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,924 Oh, my God, you should do it at the Above the Sea dance.
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:49,261 Fuck yeah. Humiliate that chode in front of all of his new friends.
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,929 If he even has any.
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:51,722 [all laughing]
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,140 Good one, Jesse.
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,561 [cigar sizzling]
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,229 I'm so glad I found my tribe.
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,106 Is this the normal vibe in here?
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,733 Yeah, we mostly chain smoke,
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,985 count down the days until our pension kicks in,
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,196 and do impressions of the dumber students.
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,780 "Dur, I'm Greg Simmons.
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240 I shot a load in my pants
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,242 watching <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> in class."
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,286 [all laughing]
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,412 [Yumyulack coughs]
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,497 For last period, we're just gonna put on <i>Seabiscuit</i>
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,666 and duck out to Islands for Mahalo Hour.
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,709 Hell yeah, dawg.
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,170 Last one there buys me a Big Island Ice Tea.
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:25,672 [elevator dings]
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,924 [elevator doors whirring]
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,385 Mm, I do love pebble ice. What are you doing?
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,970 I'm making it take as long as possible
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,013 to get back to the office.
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,557 That's how much I hate it there, Korvo. I'd rather be in the elevator.
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,185 I guess we just have to accept the fact that work is boring.
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,520 There's absolutely no way around it.
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:43,398 ♪ triumphant music ♪ [workers cheering]
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,026 Suck it.
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,780 ♪
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,822 Hey, a little help.
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,533 Whoa, what is that?
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,575 It's ping pong.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,160 Ping ping.
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,246 And this is a place of business?
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,957 Oh yeah. We're a call center for Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:03,001 Oof, that sounds like the most boring AF job there is.
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,921 Used to be, until our boss bought us this sweet-ass table.
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,464 Your boss got this for you?
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,175 The ping ping table is an official part of the office?
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,677 Oh yeah, this job rules.
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,971 - Ping ping! - Ping ping!
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,889 - Look, the fact is-- - Get off the phone.
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,724 Terry and I have found a way to solve our problems.
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,767 What problems?
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,395 We just need one super-important thing from you.
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,146 Drum roll, please. ♪ marching band music ♪
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,982 Who are these kids?
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,067 - How did-- - Buy the office a ping ping table.
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,611 No. ♪ sad trombone ♪
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,445 Get the fuck out.
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,322 If we don't get the table, you don't get paid.
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,869 Guys, that was an important call.
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:37,828 Here's the tea, Sarner,
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,622 the workplace environment you created fucking sucks.
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,083 Our research shows the vibe is better at other offices,
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,252 offices with ping ping.
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,296 A ping pong table would be too disruptive.
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,297 It is not happening.
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,674 Well, Terry, I think Mr. Sarner has been clear and--
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,885 We measured out a perfect spot for it in the boiler room.
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:55,012 You shouldn't be going down to the boiler room.
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,430 It's extremely dangerous.
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,472 Uh, Wendy?
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,474 Hi, so sorry we got disconnected.
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,978 Korvo, my dude, why the fuck didn't you have my back in there?
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,188 I know how we get the ping ping,
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,981 but it will require some high-level scheming.
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,065 Come on.
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:08,567 [door whooshes]
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,030 Aisha, bring up the scheming set where we like to smoke and scheme.
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,824 AISHA: <i>Wow, no, "Hi, Aisha. How's your day going?"</i>
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:16,617 <i>Just right to business.</i>
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,951 You know I love you. I'm sorry.
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,536 AISHA: <i>Are you sorry 'cause you're sorry</i>
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,330 <i>or because I called you out on your bullshit?</i>
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:21,997 Both.
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,168 Oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna slip into something more schemable.
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,757 That turd has zero clue how to make his employees feel valued.
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,967 If you were the boss, a rad ping ping table would be
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,552 your first purchase.
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,971 [grunts] No shit, but that's not the world we live in,
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,307 - so we fight. - Whoa, deep V, huh?
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,434 Don't make fun of me. I'm feeling insecure about it.
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,560 No, I love it.
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,395 Especially once your chest gets more defined.
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,522 Sorry, continue scheming.
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:49,233 Sarner said we're the only employees who want ping ping.
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,152 But if we can prove our co-workers also demand ping ping,
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,196 then he'll be boxed in by his own logic.
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,740 Ah, but everyone in the office is a sleemo.
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,408 I made a list of our stupidest co-workers
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,451 with the most friends.
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,161 If we can get them supporting ping ping,
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,371 the rest will fall in line.
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,374 But everyone hates slash is jealous slash wants to sleep with me of us.
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,708 Then we motivate them.
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,420 TERRY: <i>First on the list is Doug.</i>
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,130 <i>He's always talking about how much he loves</i>
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,091 <i>vintage Shaquille O'Neal Mr. Big bars.</i>
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,137 KORVO: <i>Pim and Jam, clearly in love with each other,</i>
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,931 <i>but Jam has a stupid boyfriend nobody likes,</i>
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,058 <i>and Pim's too dopey to do anything about it.</i>
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,394 [Jam gasps] KORVO: <i>All she needs is a little push.</i>
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:28,605 I can't believe my boyfriend would cheat on me with this ugly whore.
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,402 TERRY: <i>Then there's big, stupid Janice.</i>
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:36,488 <i>And we all know that boring biatch only cares about one thing.</i>
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,908 This is the man who killed your husband in that hit-and-run two summers ago.
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,451 Sign our petition and he's yours.
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,829 That's right, I did it and I'd do it again.
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:44,830 [gun cocks]
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,332 [computer beeping]
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,044 [door slams open]
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,921 Game, set, match, Sarner.
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,339 Those are ping ping words.
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,593 In your hands is a petition signed by everyone in the office.
00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,512 The message is clear, your workers demand the ping.
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,264 The answer is still no.
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,808 Fuck you. You said we were the only ones who wanted ping ping
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,518 and I've trapped you with your own words.
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:07,853 Your whole argument has collapsed.
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,062 It doesn't matter.
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,398 I'm meeting with the board of directors tomorrow evening,
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,400 and they're doing a full audit of our expenses.
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,068 And if they don't like what they see,
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,945 they're gonna shut down this branch.
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,573 There's no way I can justify a ping pong table to them,
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,743 and I already told you it is not safe in the boiler room.
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,703 Now get out of my office!
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,875 AISHA: <i>You are so close, Pupa.</i>
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:30,709 [Pupa grunts] <i>You want a hint?</i>
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:31,460 [doors whirring]
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,794 Aisha, quick question.
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,421 Uh, where's the Phallic Multiplier?
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,298 AISHA: <i>Girl, what do you need the dick ray for?</i>
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,508 My big-sister prank.
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,302 I'm gonna cover Yumyulack in dicks at the Above the Sea dance.
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,137 AISHA: <i>You can't humiliate Yumyulack like that.</i>
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,514 <i>He's an incel fuckface.</i>
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:46,308 Ha, if anything, I'm going easy on the kid.
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,727 You should hear what the Stacis do to their little bros.
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:52,189 AISHA: <i>Trust is the key thing to keep your elbow port open and flowing.</i>
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,982 <i>Without it, they'll close up forever,</i>
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:54,858 <i>like a earring hole.</i>
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:55,943 Forever?
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,320 How come this is the first I'm hearing about this now?
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:58,987 [bottle shatters]
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,239 [car honks] [tires squeal]
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,866 Fuck you, Jesse. [all laughing]
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,076 Stupid alien.
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,163 I'm gonna need that dick ray ASAP.
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,916 [machine clicking]
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,294 AISHA: <i>They're teens. You gotta let them make mistakes.</i>
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,714 ♪ melancholic music ♪
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:18,966 [gulping]
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,221 [light switch clicks]
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,224 [blows]
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:32,646 ♪
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,607 [sighs]
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:42,114 ♪
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,075 [laughs]
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,329 You two, come with me.
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,747 [phone ringing]
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:56,003 I did a lot of thinking about what you said, and--
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:56,628 [light switch clicks]
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,714 Sarner, you beautiful bastard.
00:13:58,714 --> 00:13:59,798 You got the ping ping.
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,008 But the board of directors.
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,342 You said you couldn't justify it.
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,468 Don't worry about the board.
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,846 I know the perfect thing to say to get them to sign off.
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806 But I do have one condition.
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,683 - I get the first game. - Deal.
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,019 Wow, in the end, you actually are a pretty good guy.
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,855 Hey, working with you two makes it easy to be good.
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:15,689 KORVO: Oh!
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,317 [blood spurts] Jesus Christ!
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,818 Whoa, Sarner was right.
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,737 The boiler room is hella dangerous.
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,906 I mean, for him, not us.
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,616 So I guess we were both right.
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,328 [students laughing]
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,829 Let's go over the plan.
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,124 It's all going down when Principal Cooke presents the Student Awards.
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,585 We convinced everyone to vote Yumyulack
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,003 for Most Improved Body.
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,255 And when he goes on stage to accept--
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:44,551 I suffocate him in shlongs like a normal big sister.
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,511 [Phallic Multiplier whirring]
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,429 - I see his brain. - We are so fucked.
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,514 - I see his fucking brain. - We are so fucked.
00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:49,515 What do we do? What do we do?
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,975 AISHA: <i>What kinda sitcom plot you all devising this time?</i>
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,227 We're in a tight spot, Aisha.
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:56,396 In a few hours, the board of directors is expecting to meet with Mr. Sarner.
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,982 AISHA: <i>And that's his dead ass over there on my Pretendo-deck?</i>
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,318 Yes, and now the board will take our ping ping table away
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,820 because Sarner won't be there to say the perfect thing to justify it.
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,906 Ah, I haven't even gotten to play yet.
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,908 AISHA: <i>Why don't y'all just bring the dude back to life</i>
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,576 <i>so he can talk to the board himself?</i>
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,204 <i>You know I got a whole sleeve of those Resurrection Pellets, right?</i>
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,039 Wouldn't it jeopardize the Pupa's progress
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,290 to use sci-fi like that?
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,084 AISHA: <i>I mean, it's just one little pellet.</i>
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,043 Yeah, I'm cool with that.
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:20,420 - Korvo? - I too accept this rationalization.
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,507 Mm, yummy. [pellet crunching]
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:24,424 Chew it up good.
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,551 Yum, yum, yum.
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:27,010 - [Mr. Sarner gasps] - Ah, fuck!
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,138 Oh shit, can I get another pellet?
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,640 [chuckles] Classic.
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,810 And in the category Most Likely to Be a Narc,
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:38,897 you, the students, voted for Rick Blaze.
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:39,898 [students applaud and cheer]
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:43,151 Rick was also voted Best Rebounder.
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,152 Here's another trophy.
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,822 Congrats, Detective... Rick.
00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,614 Uh, just Rick.
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,617 And now, an award we should probably stop doing...
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,451 [multiplier whirring]
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,954 Most Improved Body.
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,415 And the winner is Yumyulack.
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,208 Oh, my God!
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,459 Thank you!
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,504 I, I didn't even know this body could be improved.
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,338 [Pupa gasps]
00:16:04,173 --> 00:16:07,593 ♪ dramatic music ♪
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,680 [waterfalls burbling]
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:16,435 ♪
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,980 [water splattering]
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,653 They should be growing and thriving like the rest of the crowd.
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,864 What's wrong with these two?
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:31,450 Hmm, I have one more idea.
00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:37,456 ♪ dramatic music ♪
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:39,291 [Phallic Multiplier powers down]
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:41,001 I can't do it!
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,545 I knew you were a fake-ass Staci.
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,296 Give me that.
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:45,881 I'll do it myself.
00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:47,508 [laser beam zapping]
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,594 Ah, no!
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:54,139 I'm fucking covered in dicks years too early!
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,390 What just happened?
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:58,560 The Stacis wanted me to prank you, but it just didn't feel right.
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,939 We've always had each other's backs and I'm not gonna stop now.
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:03,524 Oh, uh, thanks.
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:07,444 And the award for Best Bow goes to Jesse.
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,905 Me? Aw, you guys noticed.
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,031 YUMYULACK: Don't!
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:11,865 Why not?
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:15,285 Is that an Ewok log trap?
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,912 Me and the teachers set those logs up
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,665 to smash your head like an AT-ST when you accepted Best Bow.
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:20,707 It was their idea.
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,251 Thanks for not going through with it.
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:24,419 Looks like you guys worked really hard on that.
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,213 The trick is to hoist it as one big log
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,631 and then cut it in half.
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:29,675 Oh yeah, that's thinking with your head.
00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:32,594 You are never getting drunk with us at Islands again.
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,346 We thought you were one of us.
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:35,264 Well, I'm not.
00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:36,974 I'm a Shlorpian.
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:41,937 And the winner for Best Trombone Player, Billy Hosenberg.
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:43,564 [all applauding]
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:45,482 [all gasp]
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,986 Alright, I guess the award goes to Jackie Quilbard.
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:50,904 Fuck yes, I did it!
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,823 Looking snazzy, Mr. Sarner.
00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:54,408 [screams] I have a body.
00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:56,493 Fucking hell. Yes, we brought you back to life.
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:59,913 I was floating in the eternal glow for a million years.
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,415 Safe, warm.
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:02,749 You need to remember what you were going
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,959 to say to the board of directors
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,170 to justify expensing a ping ping table.
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,005 I've been here before.
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,965 I've made some flashcards to help jog your memory.
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:12,676 "Ping ping increases productivity by 50 percent."
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,511 I mean, that's bullshit, but let's see if it flies.
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,680 How did I get back on this plane of existence?
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,598 Would you shut up?
00:18:17,598 --> 00:18:20,392 Literally no one has ever cared about what happens after you die.
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,518 The board is here.
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:22,686 I need more time, Terry.
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,730 Sarner's being a baby about his resurrection.
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,857 I traversed the black mountain.
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,525 Why am I back?
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:31,069 Okay, I'll just have to stall them with the old razzle-dazzle.
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,073 Where's Sarner? We don't have all day.
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,742 We're members of the board.
00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:37,701 He's on his way.
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:42,414 But first, he wanted me to pop in and give a brief preamble.
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:44,416 Rakes, where do they come from?
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:45,584 How do we make them?
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:46,627 When you think about it,
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:50,797 a rake is just a big fork for leaves.
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,758 Which leads me to my next question.
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,302 Aren't we just a salad company for lawns?
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,012 What the hell are you rambling about?
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,764 Oh, look at this guy. You probably need one of these
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:00,182 to comb your hair, am I right?
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,767 [all laugh]
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,685 Alright, you got me. You got me.
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:04,853 [all laughing]
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:07,773 Sarner, so glad you could finally join us.
00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:10,108 I am eternity made finite!
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,527 [screams]
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,154 He's, uh, referencing <i>Dune.</i>
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,656 The board reviewed your books,
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,699 and I have to say, we're disappointed.
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,409 I can't be here!
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,953 Don't play for sympathy.
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:23,413 You promised to cut expenses, but yesterday,
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,208 you bought a ping pong table on the company card.
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,793 We are all made of light,
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,336 and to that light I shall return!
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,671 [glass shatters] [screams]
00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:31,713 [car alarm blaring]
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:34,383 I knew I should've brought a couple of extra pellets.
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,303 Everyone's laughing at us, but I don't even care.
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,596 Fuck 'em. This is our normal.
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:42,266 If the other kids knew what this connection felt like,
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:44,393 maybe they wouldn't be so judgmental.
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,019 [Pupa gasps]
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:47,354 [tinkles]
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,522 Ooh.
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:50,691 ♪ dramatic music ♪
00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:53,485 ♪
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,528 Ah.
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:59,283 [inhales deeply]
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:00,492 [sighs]
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:01,451 Ah, yeah.
00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:05,747 [indistinct police radio chatter]
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,709 ♪ suspenseful music ♪
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:10,252 You don't think those cops will piece together
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,461 what really happened to Sarner, do you?
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,588 Fuckin' hope not.
00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:14,006 We can't give the Pupa a normal life
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:15,716 if we're convicted of felony manslaughter.
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:18,343 Well, whatever comes, we'll get through it, together.
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,261 The cops are gone.
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,180 We explained that the pressure of the rake industry
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,765 was too much for Sarner, and he killed himself out of weakness.
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:27,102 Yes, Sarner was a coward, and no one should investigate any aliens.
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:29,229 Agreed. We think under new leadership,
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,440 this branch could really turn itself around.
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,691 I'd love to throw my hat in.
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:36,320 Terry, we liked your panicked ad-libbing when you were stalling us earlier.
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,780 How would you like to be the new branch manager?
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:40,741 Me, the boss?
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:42,242 Fuck yes.
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,620 Great, let's get blasted at Islands to celebrate.
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:46,330 But, but... But, Terry, I was gonna--
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,081 Your first order of business will be to get rid
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,917 of that godawful ping pong table.
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,919 Yeah, you're on point, Wendy. It's way too disruptive.
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,253 Korvo, trash that thing while I'm out.
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,005 But I wanted to come with you guys.
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:58,050 No, that's an official order from your boss.
00:20:58,050 --> 00:21:00,844 That's right, from now on, I'm the boss, baby.
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,514 Well, not the Boss Baby, but I am your boss, baby.
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,349 Fuck, now I want a bottle of milk, damn it.
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:07,559 Someone get me some milk because I'm the fucking boss, baby.
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,770 [Terry and board members laugh]
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:12,147 I love this company!
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,650 ♪ dramatic music ♪
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:57,985 [mimicking laser fire]

Скриншоты

Стол для игры в пинг-понг — скриншот 1

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