Грабли для Земли

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UN ORIGINAL DE HULU

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♪

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Korvo, ¿te gusta vivir con el jefe?

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¡Apuesto a que es como vivir con un rey!

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Cállate, Doug.

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Hashtag Terry

hashtag no es mi jefe.

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Hagamos que eso se ponga en tendencia.

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¡Esto es emocionante!

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Me pregunto cómo va a entrar.

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Está en la caja.

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¿Y si entra en helicóptero?

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¿Qué carajos te pasa?

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Terry va a saltar de la caja,

y el elemento sorpresa será

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que ha estado aquí todo el tiempo.

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¡Ta-di!

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[todos vitorean y aplauden]

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- ¡Wuu!

- ¡Sí!

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Ni siquiera dijo bien ta-da.

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Escuchen, escuchen.

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Los he convocado hoy

porque les tengo un gran anuncio.

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Como sabemos, mi predecesor Colin Sarner,

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que descanse en el poder,

era un imbécil total.

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Arrastró a Rastrillos Davenport

por el suelo.

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Tenemos 50.000 rastrillos

guardados en el almacén

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barriendo el aire.

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[gritos ahogados de ambos]

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Si no los vendemos,

la empresa estará arruinada.

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- ♪ música de piano ♪

- ¡Por favor, Pim!

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No romperemos la cuarta pared.

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No podemos pagarle a Krasinski

los derechos de autor de la parodia.

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Pero yo tengo

un plan para salvarnos a todos.

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¡Vamos a conseguir

el contrato de Ciudad de Madera!

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- ¡Muy bien!

- ¡Qué emocionante!

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[todos vitorean y aplauden]

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Ciudad de Madera es la ciudad

con más rastrillos del mundo.

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A todos los que viven allí

les gustan los árboles y esa basura.

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Lo único que tengo que hacer

es encantar a su auditor,

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el hombre que toma todas las grandes

decisiones, y ¡bum!,

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Rastrillos Davenport se convierte en

el proveedor exclusivo de la ciudad.

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Uh.

[todos aplauden]

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Miren, este es un trabajo de equipo.

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Necesitaré un equipo

de confianza conmigo, mi familia.

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Pim, Jam, Janice y Korvo.

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Obviamente.

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- ¿Puedes traernos comida china?

- ¿Qué?

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¡No voy a traer el almuerzo!

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Sí, quizás sea una buena decisión.

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La última vez solo pediste sopa wonton.

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Doug, ¿puedes traernos comida china?

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¡Sí!

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Pido una votación para destituir a Doug.

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¿Todos los que están a favor?

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No puedes destituir a Doug, hermano,

irá a buscar el almuerzo.

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¡Doug, Doug!

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TODOS: ¡Doug, Doug,

Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug!

TERRY: ¡Sí, Dougy!

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KORVO: El planeta Shlorp era

la utopía perfecta,

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hasta que se estrelló el asteroide.

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Cien adultos y sus réplicas

recibieron un Pupa,

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y escaparon al... espacio,

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en busca de nuevos hogares

en mundos deshabitados.

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Nosotros nos estrellamos en la Tierra,

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y quedamos varados

en un planeta ya sobrepoblado.

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Así es, yo he estado hablando

todo este tiempo,

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soy el que sostiene al Pupa.

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Me llamo Korvo.

Este es mi programa.

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Joder, se me acaba de caer el Pupa.

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Agh. Esto es ridículo.

Odio la Tierra.

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Es un hogar horrible.

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La gente es estúpida y confusa.

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Es repugnante cómo tratan a los plátanos.

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Solo les quitan la cáscara

y se deshacen de ellas.

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¡Esa es la casa del plátano,

imbéciles!

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♪ música dramática ♪

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¡Uh!

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Estar castigados es un asco.

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No lo merecemos.

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Arruinamos el baile de la escuela

aplastando a alguien con troncos

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y luego pusimos penes diminutos

por todo el cuerpo de una de las Staci.

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Sí, pero estoy aburrido,

y eso es mucho peor.

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¡Oh, ya sé qué podemos hacer!

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¡Volvamos a escuchar

el último álbum de Daft Trunk!

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¡Ah!

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♪ Esta cosa es fuego,

esta cosa es fuego ♪

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Odio a Daft Trunk.

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No son más que la imitación de Ciudad

de Madera de The Chemical Brothers.

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Llévame a la Ciudad de Madera, Terry.

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Llévame, llévame.

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Korvo, este es un viaje de negocios

profesional de alto nivel.

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Solo personal esencial.

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Llevarás a la maldita Janice.

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Tiene tres infecciones de oído al año

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por taparse la nariz al estornudar.

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Sus compañeros le dieron

una puntuación alta en las evaluaciones,

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y dijo que su única debilidad es

la tarta de queso de Cheesecake Factory.

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Eso es muy agradable.

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¡Ah, Ciudad de Madera!

¿Puedo ir?

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Daft Trunk hace esta semana una fiesta

secreta de lanzamiento de su álbum.

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Oh, genial, ¿así que puedes

encontrarte con su otro admirador?

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Obviamente no, estás castigada.

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Pero es mi banda favorita

de todos los tiempos.

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Son mi Harry Styles.

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Lo siento, Jesse,

tenemos que seguir siendo normales,

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para que el Pupa

no se convierta en vapor otra vez.

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Por eso Terry y yo tenemos

que mantener estos trabajos

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y tú tienes que estar castigada.

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No me hagas decir "por favor".

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¡Porrr favorrr!

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Amiga, te vuelves naturalmente hacia mí

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porque tengo una energía gigante de jefe.

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Lo entiendo.

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Pero soy un adulto, y mi palabra

es mi compromiso, estás castigada.

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Oh, esa es mi limusina Hummer

temática de Fraggle Rock.

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Hice que el conductor se vistiera

como un Doozer. ¡Adiós!

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[golpe de puerta]

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Carajo, carajo, carajo, Excel.

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Malditos sean tus VLOOKUPs de mierda

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y tus celdas rectangulares rudimentarias.

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Oye, Korvi.

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¿Te gustan las barras Mars, amigo?

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Nuestra proximidad

no nos hace amigos, déjame en paz.

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¿Y Milky Way?

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Por supuesto que me gustan

las barras Milky Way.

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Resulta que saben igual

que la radiación de fondo

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de la Vía Láctea real.

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¡Ja!

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Fuera de los EE. UU., la receta

de la Milky Way es de una barra Mars.

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Dios mío, Doug,

basta ya de trivialidades de caramelos.

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En cada maldita conversación,

te contorsionas de vuelta al caramelo.

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Si escucho otro maldito dato de caramelo,

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voy a lastimarte.

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Muy bien, sí, entiendo.

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[chasquido de teclas]

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Sabes que el turrón es...

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[explosión de arma]

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[teléfono suena]

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Oye, pásame a Doug.

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El hombre que una vez fue Doug

es ahora una grapadora.

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Korvs, no puedes convertir

a mis empleados en material de oficina.

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¿Cómo iba a saberlo?

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Nunca lo había hecho antes,

esta fue mi primera vez.

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Necesitaba a Doug para una tarea

específica que solo Doug puede hacer.

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Es el chico Doug.

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¿Qué? Me encanta la especificidad.

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Ehh, lo dudo, pero está bien.

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Ve a mi casa y busca al Pupa.

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¿Por qué demonios pensaste

que no podía hacer eso?

00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,407

Es mi casa y mi Pupa.

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Eh, me pareció una tarea de Doug.

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El Pupa es una parte importante

de mi presentación

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al auditor.

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Lo necesito ahora mismo.

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¿De verdad me hablarás así?

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¿Hola?

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[pitido de tablero]

PUPA: ¡Suish!

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¡Buen tiro! ¡Nada más que red!

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¿Pueden dejar de jugar

a los tiros de Pupa?

00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,925

No es un juego de arcade, joder.

00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:00,801

¿Por qué no estás en el trabajo?

00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,636

Tengo que llevar al Pupa

a la Ciudad de Madera.

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Terry ya está arruinando

su presentación

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para el auditor.

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Oh, auditor es el segundo

trabajo político más popular

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después de empleado de adquisiciones.

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Saquen sus balones

del Pupa mientras me cambio.

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Esta es nuestra oportunidad

de escabullirnos a la Ciudad de Madera

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y ver a Daft Trunk.

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No, tenemos que ser normales.

00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,238

¿Qué hay más normal que escaparte

mientras estás castigado?

00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,283

Además, habrá mucha

comida callejera de Ciudad de Madera.

00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:27,119

Uh, Shrub-Ka-Bobs,

bien, me convenciste.

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Ahora solo tenemos que encontrar

una manera de escabullirnos,

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para que Korvo no nos vea.

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[zumbido del tablero]

PUPA: ¡Tres puntos!

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♪ música animada ♪

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[Jesse y Yumyulack ríen]

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JESSE: ¡Cállate!

YUMYULACK: ¡Tú cállate!

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CIUDAD DE MADERA

¡VOLVIMOS A CRECER!

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♪

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[golpe de peatón]

GENTE: ¡Oh!

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¡No hagas ejercicio durante el día!

00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,477

- ¡Vete al carajo!

- ¿Que me vaya al carajo?

00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,313

Vete tú al carajo,

maldito pedazo de madera basura.

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[Pupa vomita]

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Gracias, Pupes.

00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,568

¿Por qué estoy pagando

por el seguro de Hulu

00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,737

si no me cubre por quedarme

dormido al volante?

00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,864

Me voy a cambiar al seguro Disney+.

00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,575

¿Cómo que es la misma empresa?

¿Qué sentido tiene eso?

00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,994

Pásame con Ramy.

Exijo hablar con Ramy.

00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,329

♪ música dramática ♪

00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,622

Muy bien, escucha.

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Así es como entramos en la fiesta VIP

de lanzamiento del álbum de Daft Trunk.

00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,293

Dos tacos el pa-STONE,

00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,420

¿y tienes bolsillos de falafel de hoja?

00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,297

La única manera de entrar

en el concierto de esta noche,

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,882

es con una Remolacha de Oro.

00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,676

Daft Trunk los escondió por la ciudad

y puso pistas en su música.

00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,261

Es como una búsqueda del tesoro.

00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,431

♪ Esta basura es fuego,

esta basura es fuego ♪

00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,015

♪ Es tan... ♪

00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,225

Eso no es música.

00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,142

Fuego, quemarse.

00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,478

Están cantando sobre

el Monumento al Gran Incendio.

00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,854

¿El incendio que iniciamos hace tiempo?

00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,232

Estuvo bien,

pero no sé si lo llamaría genial.

00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,151

Espera, quiero un poco

de corteza de barbacoa.

00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,196

[llamando a la puerta]

00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:45,864

- [chasquido de puerta]

- Gracias, Doug.

00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,282

¡Sabes que no soy Doug!

00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,159

Mm. Mm. ¡Mmm!

[llaves tintineando]

00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,663

[explosión de arma]

♪ música dramática ♪

00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:53,872

¿Así es como se preparan

00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,666

para la presentación

más importante de su carrera?

00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,209

¿Con una escultura de hielo

de vanidad?

00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,002

Pff, esto ni siquiera se parece a ti.

00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,088

Tu conducto no es

ni de lejos tan estrecho.

00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,756

Muy bien. Aquí vamos.

00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,049

¿Y para qué necesitabas al Pupa?

00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,926

No me gusta que esté expuesto

a toda esta estupidez.

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,678

Lo próximo que sabrás

es que anima a los Astros

00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:08,929

y bebe Five Loko.

00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,556

Su rostro desbloquea mi maletín.

00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,140

[pitidos]

00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,058

- [chasquido de maletín]

- ¿Qué demonios?

00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,601

¿Fichas de Woodchuck E. Trees?

00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,979

Voy a llevar al Auditor

a Woodchuck E. Trees

00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,022

y hacerle pasar un buen rato

para que podamos cerrar este trato.

00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,566

¡Es un casino para niños!

00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:21,984

El auditor es un profesional.

00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:24,319

Necesita que lo agasajen

con cosas de adultos,

00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:27,281

como botellas de whisky de 50 años

y discusiones sobre economía.

00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,491

Jugaremos al Skee-Ball y hablaremos

de mi nuevo invento,

00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,576

el Rastrillo de Tierra.

00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,702

♪ música dramática ♪

00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:32,703

Todos los rastrillos

rastrillan la tierra.

00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,121

Vas a hundir la empresa.

00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,373

Bien, voy a seguir adelante

y tirar el rango del rastrillo sobre ti

00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,791

y te enviaré de vuelta a la oficina.

00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,501

Tu energía realmente me deprime.

00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,045

Acabo de conducir tres horas

para que pudieras abrir un maletín.

00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,047

¡Tu jefe ha hablado!

00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,217

♪

00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,178

GUÍA TURÍSTICA:

Hacemos un minuto de silencio

00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,680

para honrar a aquellos que perdimos

en el Gran Incendio.

00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,017

Si se escuchan con atención,

se puede oír a los muertos hablándonos,

00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:58,395

quizá dándonos esperanzas

de lo que nos espera al otro lado.

00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,147

JESSE: ¡No hay nada aquí, carajo!

[todos suspiran]

00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:00,939

[agua salpica]

00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,358

Oh, odio tocar los fracasados

deseos húmedos de la gente.

00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,109

[agua chapotea]

00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,528

Tenemos que estar pasando algo por alto.

00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,656

Arde, arde, arde, detrás del Alba Rock.

[suspira]

00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,409

Tenemos que encontrar

una roca con forma de Jessica Alba.

00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:12,951

¡Mira!

00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,578

JESSE:

¡Sí!

00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,916

Maldición, no quiero ver

a dos extraterrestres en mi ciudad.

00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:19,917

Para nada, hijo.

00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,251

Oh, lo siento,

bravucones, solo estamos...

00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,878

Vuelvan adonde han venido.

00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,047

La Ciudad de Madera

es para los ciudadanos de madera.

00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:25,797

Construyan el muro.

00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,591

JESSE:

Enfoca ya tu mensaje.

00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,175

[niños riendo]

00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,552

JESSE: [suspira]

¡No, se llevaron la Remolacha!

00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,180

Oye, ¿crees que si les aplastamos

las cabezas juntos

00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,014

se verían mejor?

00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,641

¡Oigan, muñones!

Déjenlos tranquilos.

00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:38,268

No me hagan mostrarles

mis movimientos de Timothée Chalamet.

00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,311

Como quieras, Piña.

00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,729

Solo cumplimos con nuestro deber cívico.

00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:41,396

[bravucones escupen]

00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,441

Ustedes dos no deberían deambular

solos por la ciudad.

00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,193

Estábamos buscando Remolachas Calientes.

00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,071

[suspira] ¿Para la fiesta

de lanzamiento VIP de Daft Trunk?

00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,697

Yo también, estoy obsesionado.

00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,782

- Amigos tronco.

- Terrible.

00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:52,991

Según su Stick Tok,

00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,868

solo quedan unas pocas Remolachas.

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,204

¿Quizá podamos unirnos

y encontrarlos juntos?

00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,456

Conozco esta ciudad

como la palma de mi cono,

00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,333

y tengo una moto.

00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,378

Guau, ¿una forma de llegar

a algún sitio menos segura que un auto?

00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,170

¡Escopeta!

00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,338

[motor chisporrotea]

[Yumyulack se queja]

00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,756

[motor acelerando]

00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:09,883

Necesito que te relajes aquí

00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,718

y estés lo más entretenido

que hayas estado nunca.

00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,595

Sé que te encantan las Siete Maravillas

del Mundo Antiguo,

00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,390

así que aquí tienes un pop-it

con la forma del Mausoleo de Halicarnaso.

00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,683

¡Uh!

00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,976

Oye, Janice, gran tonta.

00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,686

Haz un disparo desde mi ranura.

00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,813

¡Clase de 2023 para siempre!

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:23,689

[líquido chapoteando]

00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,691

¿Qué carajo haces de vuelta?

00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,569

Terry, sigues mandoneándome,

y es extremadamente sexy.

00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,779

Quiero hacer cosas divertidas

y pervertidas en un hotel contigo

00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,865

y destruir una cama que nunca

tendremos que volver a ver.

00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:35,784

Ah, ah, fiu, necesitamos una habitación.

00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,704

Janice, despeja mi agenda

para los próximos 15, no, 16 minutos.

00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,330

En realidad, espera, 15, 15 estaba bien.

00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,623

[Terry aplaude]

00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,376

♪ música suave ♪

00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:45,627

[ambos gimiendo]

00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,255

Así que te gusta

cuando yo soy el jefe, ¿eh?

00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,923

Me dan ganas de lamer

tus espaciosos dientes

00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,508

y atar estas delicadas muñecas.

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,384

[chasquido de esposas]

TERRY: ¡Oh!

00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,679

Maldición, está muy apretado

para mis frágiles muñecas.

00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,222

Ah, escucha, ¿adónde vas?

00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,891

Ah, carajo, ¿me estás atando

come en Gerald's Game?

00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:00,184

Tú fuiste quien me enseñó a usar

00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:02,227

tramas de Stephen King de nivel medio

para salirme con la mía.

00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,187

Pero, ¿por qué?

00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,771

Dijiste que era el jefe sexy.

00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,899

No puedo dejar que arruines

el contrato de Ciudad de Madera.

00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:08,400

Hay demasiado en juego.

00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,069

Korvo, no me hagas

como en Gerald's Game.

¡Espera!

00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,947

Me quedé dormido en esa película

y no sé cómo termina.

00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,286

No hay nada como golpear

la vieja pelota de golf

00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,246

después de una semana

de auditar, ¿verdad?

00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,372

[pelota de golf silba]

00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,957

¿Qué pasó con ese tal Terry?

00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,084

Iba a mostrarme un Rastrillo de Tierra.

00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,836

Mire, puedo ver que está decepcionado,

00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,796

o tal vez solo tiene

una cara de abedul en reposo,

00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,299

pero estoy dispuesto a jugar

la ronda de golf más aburrida,

00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,551

solo para mostrarle la seriedad

con la que Rastrillos Davenport

00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,802

se toma su empresa.

00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:36,887

¿Quiere hacerlo interesante?

00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,806

Le apuesto mil dólares a que no puede

hacer su tiro detrás de ese árbol.

00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,601

Tengo un nombre, es Chris Pino.

00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:46,730

Claro, si necesita que lo impresione,

puedo hacerlo.

00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,110

♪ música de suspenso ♪

[pensamientos zumbando]

00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,364

[golpes de pelota de golf]

00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,658

- [traqueteo de pelota de golf]

- Cielo santo.

00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,117

Bien, doble o nada.

00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,577

[agua chapotea]

00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,329

♪ música animada ♪

[pelota de golf traquetea]

00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,414

Eh, triple o nada.

00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:05,958

[ruido de barriles]

00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,376

Cuádruple o nada.

00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:08,710

[pelota de golf silba]

00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,128

Duo-nipple o nada.

00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:10,587

[pelota de golf silba]

00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,714

[pelota de golf traquetea]

00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,092

Teníamos un juego similar en

mi mundo natal, excepto que si perdías,

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,094

tus globos oculares se utilizaban

en los campos de prácticas.

00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,887

Solía tener un tercer ojo en la axila.

00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:19,805

[pelota de golf silba]

00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,515

♪ música de suspenso ♪

00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,099

[golpe de teléfono]

00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:22,891

RECEPCIONISTA:

Recepción.

00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,476

¡Ayúdeme!

Me hicieron como en Gerald's Game.

00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,894

RECEPCIONISTA:

Si enviáramos ayuda a todos

00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,104

los que dicen que los ataron

como en Gerald's Game,

00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:28,856

no tendríamos tiempo

de oler sus calzoncillos.

00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,440

Soy un importante

ejecutivo del rastrillo

00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,067

en una empresa

de cinco mil millones de Fortune.

00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:32,860

[golpe en la puerta]

00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,778

[jadea] Lo lamento,

el elevador no funciona

00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:35,946

así que subí por las escaleras

00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,489

y olvidé tomar

mis medicinas para el corazón.

00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:38,156

[respirando pesadamente]

00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:40,742

Pero, por suerte,

pude comer este Filete de Árbol Philly

00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:41,577

en el camino.

00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,661

[crujidos de madera]

Mm-mmm.

00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,079

No me gusta este patrón.

00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,831

Déjeme...

[se queja]

00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:46,582

[golpe del empleado]

00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,792

Bien, ahora esto es

exactamente como el cartel

00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:49,751

de Gerald's Game.

00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:50,544

¡No!

00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,964

No entiendo por qué

la Remolacha no estaba allí.

00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,924

La letra era:

"Más grande, más rápido, más fuerte.

00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,010

Más grande, más rápida,

la Apple Store más fuerte".

00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:59,219

¡Ah, carajo!

00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473

Oigan, dejen de hacer eso.

00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,018

Acabo de construir esa torre

de manzanas, ¡por favor!

00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:06,768

Esperen.

00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,521

La letra de apple store

es de la canción Pega una Mordida.

00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,856

¿Y si...?

00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:11,857

[crujido de manzana]

00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,359

- Ajá.

- Buena idea, chica.

00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,153

Empieza a morder, maldito.

00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:20,699

- [crujido de manzana]

- Van a tener que pagar eso.

00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,325

Ajá. Ajá.

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,119

¡La Remolacha!

00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,830

Y hay un mapa

al lugar en la parte de atrás.

00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,791

Guau, buen trabajo, chica.

Vamos, subamos la motocicleta.

00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,001

Conozco un atajo.

00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,337

♪ música dramática ♪

00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:35,631

Ahora, ¡suelta esa Remolacha!

00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:37,257

Piña, ¿qué estás haciendo?

00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,510

Este pase VIP

nos deja entrar a todos.

00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:40,969

Eso me importa un carajo.

00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,429

¡Odio a Daft Trunk!

00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,681

Ni siquiera soy una piña adorable.

00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,766

[Pina gruñe]

00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,101

- Eres un melocotón podrido.

- ¡Asco!

00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,478

Tienes toda la razón.

00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,771

¡Ahora dame esa Remolacha!

00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,813

Pero, ¿por qué?

00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,941

Necesitaba dinero para gasolina

para mi viaje a Atlanta,

00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,235

porque esta cosa solo llega

a cinco mpg en la carretera

00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:58,445

por el sidecar,

que solo tengo

00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,614

porque mi novia

se va a sentar en él

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,615

cuando la recoja.

00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:04,076

Tengo que ver a mi novia ya mismo,

00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:05,911

porque vive

con un par de compañeros

00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,496

que le dan masajes todo el tiempo.

00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,456

Ah, debe estar muy estresada.

00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,292

Oh, amigo, no creo

que sea tu novia ya.

00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,335

¡Cierra la maldita boca!

00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:14,920

¡Es lo que todos dicen siempre!

00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,839

Nadie me aceptó en este maldito pueblo

00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,550

porque los melocotones

no son nativos del bosque.

00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,928

Era un melocotón solitario,

abandonado como basura de una bebida tiki,

00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:25,055

cuando se creó toda esta ciudad.

00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:26,098

Nunca encajé realmente.

00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,559

Toda mi vida ha sido demostrar

mi valía a todo el mundo.

00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,020

Así que me voy de aquí

y me reuniré con mi novia

00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,106

en Atlanta, Georgia.

00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,065

Y cuando aparezca,

00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,651

va a ser una gran sorpresa

para ella,

00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,195

porque no me devuelve las llamadas.

00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,155

Estoy seguro de que

su teléfono está roto.

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,283

Uno de sus musculosos

amigos platónicos

00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:45,701

probablemente lo pisó.

00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,870

Dame esa basura

y no se atrevan a seguirme.

00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:48,537

[moto escupiendo]

00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,788

Son unos maricas.

00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,331

- [moto acelerando]

- ¿Puedes creerlo?

00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,418

No, esos tipos definitivamente

se están acostando con su novia.

00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,420

Necesito que envíe a alguien más.

00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,255

No deja de enviar

a un montón de tontos

00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,965

que terminan muriendo

por tropezar

00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,717

y sufrir un ataque al corazón

y alergia a los cacahuetes.

00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:02,426

[piso cruje]

[Terry grita]

00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:03,093

[golpe de cama]

00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:07,055

¿También te hicieron

como en Gerald's Game?

00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,932

Ah, somos compañeros de Bachman.

00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,683

♪ música de suspenso ♪

00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,644

Ay, Dios, tengo que recuperar mi dinero.

00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:13,896

Apostemos por otra cosa.

00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,689

¿Qué tal si cambiamos de marcha,

olvidamos el hecho

00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,692

de que me debes $250 mil

y hablamos de los Rastrillos Davenport?

00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:22,029

No puedo concentrarme

en una maldita presentación de paisajismo

00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,488

hasta que recupere mi dinero.

00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,033

Uh, el desafío del ala de búho picante.

00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,659

Si lo gano, no te debo nada,

00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,287

pero si pierdo, escucharé tu presentación.

00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:33,040

Señor, esas son

extremadamente picantes y podría morir,

00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,083

pero sería un idiota

si no aceptara esa apuesta, acepto.

00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:35,876

[silba pata de búho]

00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,087

[gruñidos, quejidos]

00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,381

[traga]

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,341

[tose]

00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,134

[golpeando la ventana]

00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,345

Te aprovechaste de mi obsesión

00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:48,180

por coger en un ambiente

divertido de vacaciones.

00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,264

[Terry grita]

[cama se rompe]

00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:52,309

Esto es algo que debería

haber hecho hace mucho tiempo.

00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,310

[tintineo de rastrillo]

00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,145

O por lo menos hace unas horas,

00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,647

y hubiéramos evitado todo esto.

00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,023

♪ música dramática ♪

00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,277

KORVO Y TERRY:

¡Pelea de rastrillos!

00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,697

[tintineo de rastrillos]

[Korvo y Terry quejándose]

00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:10,410

[ambos jadeando, quejándose]

00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,126

[tintineo de rastrillos]

00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:19,294

[transeúnte grita]

00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,045

[golpe de Terry]

00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,673

Esta es la razón por la que nunca

podrías ser un verdadero jefe.

00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:25,092

El verdadero liderazgo requiere

aceptar cosas aburridas y adultas.

00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,969

Es algo más que fiestas

con esculturas de hielo

00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,512

e inventos tontos.

00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,430

[suspira] ¡Eso es!

¡Mi Rastrillo de Tierra!

00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,515

[pitido del satélite]

00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:32,307

[puerta zumbando]

00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,351

[explosión de rastrillo]

00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,519

[rastrillo silba]

00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:40,065

¡Ah, maldición!

00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,821

♪ música dramática ♪

00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,282

♪

00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,116

[mujer grita]

00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,494

Ah, muy limpio,

hicieron un buen trabajo.

00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,705

[tierra retumbando]

00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,957

[Korvo grita]

00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,419

¿Para qué necesita

un pueblo tanta miel?

00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,629

¡Maldita sea, esto está delicioso!

00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,966

Ah, Me encanta Daft Trunk

desde que los descubrí en SNL.

00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,051

Y ahora quizás nunca los conoceré.

00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,637

¿Por qué no irrumpimos

en la fiesta al estilo Ocean's 8,

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,306

la única película

de Ocean que reconozco?

00:16:12,306 --> 00:16:13,765

No sabemos dónde está.

00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,143

El mapa estaba

en la parte trasera de la Remolacha.

00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,437

Ese melocotón podrido se la llevó.

00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:20,731

Nunca encontraremos otra pista.

00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,358

Tendríamos que sabernos

de memoria todas sus increíbles letras.

00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,943

Espera un momento.

00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,654

Me sé todas las letras de todas

las canciones de Daft Trunk,

00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:32,242

porque yo, Yumyulack Opposites,

soy un gran admirador de Daft Trunk.

00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,036

¿Pero por qué fingiste odiar

00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,704

a la banda más radical

de todos los tiempos?

00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,290

Tengo una reputación

anarquista que proteger.

00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,667

Igual, hay algunas letras

en las que he estado pensando

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,627

que podrían ayudarnos.

00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:45,130

♪ Fiesta en el cielo,

como si murieras de un orzuelo ♪

00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,174

Ni siquiera yo recuerdo esa canción.

00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,426

Pagué 10.000 dólares por un

bonus track que hicieron

00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,802

para un amigo

que murió de un orzuelo.

00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,512

Bendito sea.

00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:53,889

¡Guau, Yum,

eres un auténtico admirador!

00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:55,891

"Fiesta en el cielo...".

00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,267

¡Allí!

00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,771

[gente gritando]

00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:01,772

Es todo tu culpa.

00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,524

Ah, ¿yo solté un rastrillo espacial

00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:06,109

que golpeó una torre colmena

gigante que nos inundó de miel?

00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,153

Nada de esto hubiera pasado

si hubieras creído en mí.

00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,739

¡Ibas a llevar al auditor

a Woodchuck E. Trees!

00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:11,865

Hice mi investigación.

00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,909

Ese auditor es un jugador degenerado.

00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:17,454

Woodchuck E. Trees

es un casino fácil de ganar.

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,289

Ay, Dios mío, tienes razón.

00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,041

Todo el día estuvo tratando de ganar.

00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:24,002

Terry, lo siento.

Debí haber creído en ti.

00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,754

A partir de ahora, te veo como un líder.

00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,882

Y somos líderes iguales.

Tú en el trabajo. Y yo en casa.

00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,050

[miel burbujeando]

00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,718

¡Ay, Dios! ¡Nos-nos-nos hundimos!

00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,012

Solo tenemos tiempo para una llamada

antes de que estemos sumergidos.

00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,722

- Dámela.

- De ninguna manera.

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,224

Cree en mí como líder.

00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:40,435

[pitidos de teclado]

00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,521

HOMBRE:

Hola, Pizzería Hoja Malnati.

00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,731

¡Maldita sea, Terry!

¿Por qué vas a pedir una pizza?

00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,567

HOMBRE:

¿Hola? Tengo muchos clientes.

00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,860

¿Me da una de pepperoni grande...

00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:48,819

[suspira]

00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:49,611

[chapalea]

00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,029

con ajo, pimientos verdes,

00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,407

corazones de alcachofa y...

00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:55,242

[chapalea]

00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,410

tomates frescos?

00:17:56,994 --> 00:18:00,956

♪ música dramática ♪

00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:05,836

- [Terry tose]

- Les traje su pizza.

00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:06,962

Rastreé su teléfono hasta su ubicación.

00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:08,422

Son 27 dólares.

00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,299

[Terry y Korvo tosiendo]

00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:12,134

Ah, aunque sabe muy bien.

00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,343

¿Cómo sabías que funcionaría?

00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,971

Si no completan una entrega,

se les descuenta del sueldo.

00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,182

Trabajan más rápido

que los servicios de emergencia.

00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,683

Estoy... estoy impresionado, Terry.

00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,851

[carraspeando]

00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,103

Sí, no llevo efectivo conmigo.

00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,313

Korvo, ¿puedes pagarle?

00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:24,813

[Korvo suspira]

00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:27,399

¿De verdad necesitabas pedir

los toppings más caros

00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:28,525

para una pizza de rescate?

00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,360

Bu, una vez que comas

pizza con alcachofas,

00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,571

no volverás a los toppings básicos.

00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:36,283

♪ música dramática ♪

00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,993

♪

00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,369

¡Guau!

00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,581

Vamos a tener que colarnos

por el agujero de Winnie the Pooh.

00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,374

Me subiré a tus hombros para entrar,

00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,210

luego abriré la puerta lateral

y podrás pasar.

00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:48,378

Espera. ¿Por qué no

me subo yo a tus hombros?

00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:51,340

Eres más fuerte que yo por cargar

con todo el trabajo del personaje.

00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:52,382

Yo solo soy una cifra.

00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,009

Si, tus historias son bastante flojas.

00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:56,094

Muy bien, mueve tu trasero bidimensional.

00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:58,430

[Yumyulack grita]

00:18:58,430 --> 00:18:59,181

[se queja]

00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,435

Ay, Dios mío, ay, Dios mío,

soy un gran admirador.

00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,979

Compré todos sus discos,

¿pueden firmarme algo?

00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:06,855

¿Mi cinturón de recompensas?

00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:08,148

No, ¡mi cara!

00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,276

[grito ahogado]

¿Los bravucones de antes?

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,945

Mira, la basura extraterrestre.

00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:14,488

Pensaba que habíamos bloqueado

tu lamentable trasero

00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,864

para que no pudieras encontrar

ninguna Remolacha.

00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,115

Sin embargo, aquí estás,

00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,826

arrastrándote como una perra

gusana donde no te quieren.

00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,495

¡Esto es como tu segundo álbum,

00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:23,914

"Nunca conozcas a tus héroes

porque resultan ser bravucones"!

00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:26,834

Creo que quiere

un autógrafo en su cara.

00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:30,879

[puñetazos y patadas fuertes]

[Yumyulack gritando]

00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,799

¡Sí, vamos!

00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:35,634

Guau, ¿qué pasó?

00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,302

Jesse, hay algo que deberías saber.

00:19:37,678 --> 00:19:38,762

Conocí a Daft Trunk.

00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:39,847

Cierra la boca, cierra la boca.

00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,015

Ay, Dios mío, abre tu boca

y dime cómo eran.

00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:42,975

Eran...

00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,185

♪ música pensativa ♪

00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:48,438

Increíbles.

Mejor de lo que podrías imaginar.

00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,565

¡Lo sabía!

00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:51,400

Cielos, tengo que entrar ahí,

¿cómo me veo?

00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,734

Te los acabas de perder.

00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,027

Los vi cuando salían.

00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,113

Creo que van a hacer el podcast

de Smartless por la mañana,

00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,781

así que, se acabó la fiesta.

00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,199

Ah, vaya.

00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,034

Pero te conseguí uno de sus cascos.

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,786

¡Ah! ¿En serio?

¡No lo creo!

00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,746

Estar castigada contigo es lo mejor

00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,373

que me ha pasado nunca.

00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,624

[Yumyulack suspira]

00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,126

- [todos vitoreando]

- ¡Siete alas!

00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:11,420

¡Lo logré, me comí las siete!

00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,796

Korvo, [se queja]

00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,089

estoy tan feliz ahora

00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:15,883

que diré que sí a cualquier cosa

que me propongas.

00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,467

Me encantaría cerrar este trato,

00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,094

pero esta victoria pertenece a Terry.

00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:22,055

Es el verdadero jefe de nuestra empresa

y se merece todo el mérito.

00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,056

Gracias, Korvo.

00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,601

- Sr. Auditor, renuncio.

- ¿Qué?

00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,311

Puedo ser un jefe igual en casa.

[auditor quejándose]

00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,188

Cero tiempo de viajar y sin Doug.

[golpe del auditor]

00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,564

Pero nuestra casa es mi castillo.

00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,442

Además, tienes que mantener este trabajo

o el Pupa volverá a convertirse en vapor.

00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:37,029

Como especialista del Pupa,

déjame decirte: está súper bien.

00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,406

Tuvimos una pelea de rastrillos de

dispositivos en una Ciudad de Madera

00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,533

y el Pupa no ha hecho ninguna locura.

00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:43,202

Espera, ¿dónde está?

00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:44,953

- ¡Ah!

- ¡Ah, está muerto!

00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,039

¡Carajo! Lo dejamos en el auto

con las ventanillas subidas.

00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:48,207

¡Por un demonio!

[bocanada de aire del Pupa]

00:20:48,207 --> 00:20:50,083

Ay, gracias a Dios,

solo estaba durmiendo.

00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,169

Olvidé como se ve

súper feo cuando duerme.

00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:53,212

Maldición, eso fue aterrador.

00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:54,838

Terry esa fue

nuestra llamada de atención.

00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,549

Nunca volveremos a dejar

al Pupa solo en el auto.

00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:00,052

¡Oh! ¡Tienen un Asador

de Aborígenes Desplazados!

00:21:00,052 --> 00:21:01,512

¡Vamos por unos Uluru Poppers!

00:21:01,512 --> 00:21:04,848

♪ música suave ♪

00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:08,519

Maldita sea, Terry, casi desenredé

todo el cableado de la nave solo

00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:09,728

y tú no has hecho una maldita cosa.

00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,855

Y no estaríamos en esta situación

si hubieras peinado los cables

00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,857

con acondicionador

sin enjuague como te pedí.

00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,734

Como líder igual,

tengo un voto igualitario

00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,152

ya sea que trabaje o no en la nave.

00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:20,155

Y mi voto fue para ver videos

de este hámster comiendo una sandía.

00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:21,406

Terry, holgazán hijo de...

♪ música heavy de bajo ♪

00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,116

¿Qué es ese horrible sonido?

00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,410

¿De dónde sacó ese estúpido casco?

00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,498

Te voy a destrozar,

extraterrestre de porquería.

00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:31,625

Ah, Daft Shrunk.

00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,335

[bravucones se quejan]

00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,963

[traqueteando]

00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:37,297

[bravucones gritan]

00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:39,842

¿Qué es esto?

00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:42,678

♪ música siniestra ♪

00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:46,557

♪

00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,019

Saludos, recién llegado,

y felicitaciones.

00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,521

¿Felicitaciones por qué?

00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:53,313

¡Esto apesta!

00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:56,233

Por ser elegidos

por Jesse, por supuesto.

00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:57,609

Ja, al carajo con ese bicho raro.

00:21:57,985 --> 00:22:00,153

¿No comprometes tu corazón

y tu alma a Jesse,

00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,405

nuestra única salvadora?

00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,865

Ella y su estúpido hermano son los que

00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,533

nos metieron aquí, los odiamos.

00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:06,743

Nadie habla así de Jesse.

00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,746

¡Quita tus malditas manos de mi amigo!

00:22:10,122 --> 00:22:11,707

[silbido de espada]

00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:19,423

GUARDIA: No hay lugar

para paganos en el cielo de los moños.

00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,175

No, no, no, no, no.

00:22:21,175 --> 00:22:23,927

¡Por favor, no!

00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:25,095

[silbido de espada]

[sangre salpica]

00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:31,727

♪ música dramática ♪

00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:37,900

♪

00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:13,060

[simulando disparo de láser]

00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007

♪

00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,635

Korvo, how do you like

living with the boss?

00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,136

I bet it's like living with a king!

00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,012

Shut up, Doug.

00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,097

Terry's hashtag not my boss hashtag.

00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,390

Let's get that trending.

00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,975

This is so exciting!

00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,018

I wonder how he's going to enter.

00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,061

He's in the box.

00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,812

Yo, what if he copters in?

00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,272

What the fuck is wrong with you?

00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,108

Terry's just gonna jump out from the box,

with the element of surprise being

00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,401

that he was here the whole time.

00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,029

Ta-dee!

00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:29,947

[all cheer and clap]

00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,114

- Woo!

- Ya!

00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,866

He didn't even get ta-da right.

00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:33,742

Hear ye, hear ye.

00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,870

I called you today as I haveth

a giant annoucement-eth.

00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,498

As we know, my predecessor Colin Sarner,

00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:42,459

may he rest in power, was a total dipshit.

00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,378

He ran Davenport Rakes into the ground.

00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,797

We've got, like, 50,000 rakes

just sittin' in the warehouse

00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,923

sucking their own tits.

00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,217

- [both gasp]

- If we don't sell them,

this company's fooked.

00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,344

- ♪ interstitial piano music ♪

- Come on, Pim!

00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,554

No breaking the fourth wall.

00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,973

We can't afford to pay Krasinski

the spoof royalties.

00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,642

But I have a plan to save us all.

00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:01,895

We are gonna get the Wooden City contract!

00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,730

- Alright.

- So exciting.

00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,776

The Wooden City is

the most raked city in the world.

00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,736

Everybody who lives there

is all trees and shit.

00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,197

All I have to do is charm

their comptroller,

00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,242

the man who makes all the big decisions,

and fuckin' boom,

00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:18,787

Davenport Rakes becomes

the city's exclusive rake provider.

00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,206

- Ooh.

- Now look, this is a work trip, people.

00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,917

I'll need a trusted team

to come with, mi familia.

00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,962

Pim, Jam, Janice, and Korvo.

00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:27,880

Obviously.

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,214

- Can you get us Chinese food?

- What?

00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,340

I'm not getting lunch.

00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,050

Yeah, that's probably a good call.

00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,636

You only ordered wonton soup last time.

00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,054

Doug, can you get us some Chinese food?

00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,098

- Yes!

- I call a vote to remove Doug.

00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:38,849

All in favor?

00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,143

You can't remove Doug, bro,

he's getting us lunch.

00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,436

Doug, Doug.

00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:47,024

ALL: Doug, Doug,

Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug.

00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:50,319

KORVO:

Planet Shlorp was the perfect utopia,

00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,487

until the asteroid hit.

00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:55,532

One hundred adults and their

replicants were issued a Pupa,

00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,284

and escaped into the... space,

00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,162

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,413

We crashed on Earth,

00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,707

stranding us on an already

overpopulated planet.

00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,334

That's right, I've been talking

this whole time.

00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,502

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,212

My name is Korvo.

This is my show.

00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,546

Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.

00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,590

Ugh. This is ridiculous.

I hate Earth.

00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:12,633

It's a horrible home.

00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,301

People are stupid and confusing.

00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,928

It's disgusting how they treat bananas.

00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,013

They just strip their peels

and throw them away.

00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,057

That's the banana's house,

you assholes!

00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,185

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,481

Ugh!

00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,024

Being grounded sucks.

00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,317

We don't deserve this.

00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,403

Well, we ruined the school dance

by smashing someone with logs

00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:37,282

and then put tiny penises

all over one of the Staci's bodies.

00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,701

Yeah, but I'm bored, which is way worse.

00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:40,953

Oh, I know what we can do!

00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,622

Let's listen to the latest

Daft Trunk album again!

00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,250

- Aah!

- ♪ This shit's fire, this shit is fire ♪

00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,417

I hate Daft Trunk.

00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,045

They're just the Wooden City knock-off

of The Chemical Brothers.

00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,630

Just take me to the Wooden City, Terry.

00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,714

Take me, take me.

00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,758

Korvo, this is a high-level

professional business trip.

00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,717

Essential personnel only.

00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,010

You're taking fucking Janice.

00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,554

She gets three ear infections a year

00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,264

from holding her nose when she sneezes.

00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,683

She scored very high

on her peer reviews,

00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,310

and she said her only weakness

is Cheesecake Factory cheesecake.

00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,311

That's so likable.

00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,771

Ooh, Wooden City!

Can I go?

00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:11,108

Daft Trunk is doing a super-secret

album-release party this week.

00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,402

Oh, cool, so you can meet up

with their other fan?

00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,945

Obviously not, you're grounded.

00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,406

But they're my favorite band

of all time.

00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,449

They're my Harry Styles.

00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,909

Sorry, Jesse,

we have to stay normal,

00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,828

so the Pupa doesn't turn into steam again.

00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,496

That's why Terry and I have

to keep these jobs

00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,164

and you have to be punished.

00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,625

Don't make me say pwease.

00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,627

Pwease!

00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,337

J-friend, you're naturally turning to me

00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,547

because I have giant boss energy.

00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,423

I get it.

00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,967

But I'm an adult, and my word

is my bond. You're grounded.

00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,553

♪ cheery music playing ♪

Oh, that's my Fraggle Rock -themed

Hummer limo.

00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,306

I made the driver dress up

like a Doozer. Bye!

00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:42,890

[door thuds]

00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,225

Shitty-shit-shit, Excel.

00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,518

Damn your shitty VLOOKUPs

00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,478

and rudimentary rectangular cells.

00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,813

Hey, big Korvy.

00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,856

You like Mars bars, dude?

00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,400

Our proximity does not make

us friends, leave me alone.

00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,193

How about Milky Way?

00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,777

Of course, I like Milky Way bars.

00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,363

They happen to taste exactly like

the background radiation

00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,740

from the actual Milky Way.

00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,365

Ha!

00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:03,452

Outside the US,

the Milky Way recipe is a Mars bar.

00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,662

Jesus Christ, Doug,

enough with the candy trivia.

00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,749

Every fucking conversation,

you contort back to candy.

00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,334

If I hear another goddamn candy fact,

00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,293

I'm gonna hurt you.

00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,212

Alright, yeah, got it, huh.

00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:15,297

[keyboard keys clicking]

00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,381

You know the nougat is--

00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,633

[gun booms]

00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,261

[phone rings]

00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,513

Yo, put Doug on.

00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,389

The man who was once Doug

is now a stapler.

00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,975

Korvs, you can't turn my employees

into office supplies.

00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,352

How was I supposed to know that?

00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,521

I've never done it before.

This was my first one.

00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:33,315

I needed Doug for a specific

Doug-task only Doug can do.

00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,191

He's the Doug dog.

00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,859

What? I love specificity.

00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,736

Ehh, I doubt it, but fine.

00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:38,820

Go to my house and get the Pupa.

00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,864

Why the hell did you think

I couldn't do that?

00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,407

It's my house and my Pupa.

00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,992

Eh, it just felt like a Doug gig.

00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,578

The Pupa's a very important part

of my presentation

00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,412

to the comptroller.

00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,289

I need him A-S-A-Piss.

00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,083

Is that what you think the P stands for?

00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,167

Hello?

00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,585

[scoreboard beeps]

PUPA: Swish!

00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:56,505

Nice shot, nothing but net.

00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,090

Would you stop playing Pupa-shot?

00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,925

He's not an arcade game, for fuck's sake.

00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:00,801

Why aren't you at work?

00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,636

I have to bring the Pupa

to the Wooden City.

00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,471

Terry's already screwing up

his presentation

00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,222

for the comptroller.

00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,308

Ooh, comptroller is

the second-fanciest political job

00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,227

right after procurement clerk.

00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,437

Get your balls

out of the Pupa while I change.

00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,566

This is our chance

to sneak out to the Wooden City

00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,109

and see Daft Trunk.

00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,652

Nah-uh, we gotta be normal.

00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,238

What's more normal than sneaking out

while you're grounded?

00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,283

Plus, there will be a lot

of Wooden City street food.

00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:27,119

Ooh, Shrub-Ka-Bobs! Okay, I'm sold.

00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,454

Now we just gotta figure out

a way to sneak out of here,

00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,956

so Korvo doesn't see us.

00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,457

[scoreboard buzzes]

PUPA: Three-pointer!

00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:36,795

♪ upbeat music ♪

00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:37,713

[Jesse and Yumyulack giggle]

00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:40,132

- JESSE: Shut up!

- YUMYULACK: You shut up!

00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:47,097

♪

00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,600

[pedestrian thuds]

CROWD: Oh!

00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,976

Don't exercise in the daytime!

00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,477

- Fuck you!

- Fuck me?

00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,313

Fuck you,

you stupid wooden piece of shit.

00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,647

[Pupa barfs]

00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,107

Thanks, Pupes.

00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,568

Why am I even paying for Hulu insurance

00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,737

if it doesn't cover me

for zoning out behind the wheel?

00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,864

I'm switching to Disney+ insurance.

00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,575

What do you mean it's the same company?

How does that make any sense?

00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,994

Put me on with Ramy.

I demand to talk to Ramy.

00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,329

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,622

Alright, listen up.

00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:14,625

This is how we get into Daft Trunk's

VIP album-release party.

00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,293

Two tacos el pa-STONE,

00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,420

and do you have any fa-LEAF-el pockets?

00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,297

The only way to get

into the concert tonight,

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,882

is with a Golden Beet.

00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,676

Daft Trunk hid them around the city

and put clues in their music.

00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,595

It's like a scavenger hunt.

00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:29,431

♪ This shit's fire, this shit is fire ♪

00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,225

- ♪ It's so lit ♪

- This isn't music.

00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,142

Fire, burn.

00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,478

They're singing about

the Great Fire Memorial site.

00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,854

The fire we started back in the day?

00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,232

Why, it was good,

but I don't know if I'd call it great.

00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,151

Wait, I want some barbecue-pulled bark.

00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,196

[knocking on door]

00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:45,864

- [door clicks]

- Thanks, Doug.

00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,282

You know I'm not Doug.

00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,159

Mm. Mm. Hmm!

[keys jingling]

00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,663

[gun booms]

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:53,872

This is how you're prepping

00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,666

for the biggest presentation

of your career?

00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,209

With a vanity ice luge?

00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,002

Pff, this doesn't even look like you.

00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,088

Your luge trough isn't anywhere

near this narrow.

00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,756

Alright, here we go.

00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,049

Why did you even need the Pupa?

00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,926

I don't like him exposed

to all this stupidity.

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,678

Next thing you know,

he'll be rooting for the Astros

00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:08,929

and chugging Five Loko.

00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,556

His faccia unlocks my briefcase.

00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,140

[faccia beeps]

00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,058

- [briefcase clicks]

- What the hell?

00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,601

Woodchuck E. Trees tokens?

00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,979

I'm gonna take the comptroller

to Woodchuck E. Trees

00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,022

and show him a good time

so that we can close this deal.

00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,566

That's a casino for children!

00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:21,984

Comptroller is a professional.

00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:24,319

He needs to be wined and dined

with adult business-y things,

00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:27,281

like 50-year-old bottles of Scotch

and discussions about the economy.

00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,491

We're gonna play Skee-Ball

and talk about my new invention,

00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,576

the Earth Rake.

00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,702

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:32,703

All rakes rake the Earth.

00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,121

You're going to tank the company.

00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,373

Okay, I'm gonna go ahead

and pull rake rank on you

00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,791

and send you back to the office.

00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,501

Your energy's really bringing

my shit down.

00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,045

I just drove three hours

so you could open a briefcase.

00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,047

Your boss hath spoken!

00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,217

♪

00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,178

TOUR GUIDE:

We take a moment of silence

00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,680

to honor those that we lost

in the Great Fire.

00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,017

If you listen closely,

you can hear the dead speaking to us,

00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:58,395

perhaps giving us hope

for what awaits on the other side.

00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,897

JESSE: There's nothing fucking here.

[all gasp]

00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:00,939

[water splashes]

00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,358

Ugh, I hate touching

people's failed wet wishes.

00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,109

[water sloshes]

00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,528

We have to be missing something.

00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,656

Burn burn burn, behind the Alba Rock.

[gasps]

00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,159

We need to find

a Jessica Alba-shaped rock.

00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:12,951

Look!

00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,578

JESSE:

Yay!

00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,916

Shit, I know there aren't two aliens

in my town right now.

00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:19,917

Nah-uh, son.

00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,251

Oh, sorry, bullies, we're just--

00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,878

Go back where you came from.

00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,506

Wood City for wood citizens.

Build the wall!

00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,591

JESSE:

Focus your message already.

00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,175

[kids giggling]

00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,552

JESSE: [gasps]

No, they took the Beet!

00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,180

Hey, do you think if we smashed

their heads together,

00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,014

they'd look better?

00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,641

Hey, stumps!

Leave them alone.

00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:38,268

Don't make me show you

my Timothée Chalamet moves.

00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,311

Whatever, Pinecone.

00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,396

Just doing our civic duty.

[bullies spit]

00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,441

You two should not be wandering

around the city alone.

00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,193

We were just looking for Hot Beets.

00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,071

[gasps] For the Daft Trunk

VIP release party?

00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,697

Me too, I'm obsessed.

00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,782

- Trunk buddies.

- Gross.

00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:52,991

According to their Stick Tok,

00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,868

there are only a few Beets left.

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,204

Maybe we team up and find them together?

00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,456

I know this city like the back of my cone,

00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,333

and I have a motorcycle.

00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,378

Wow, a way to get somewhere

that's less safe than a car?

00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,170

Shotgun!

00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,338

[engine sputtering]

[Yumyulack groans]

00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,756

[engine revving]

00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:09,883

I need you to chill here

00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,718

and be the most entertained

you've ever been.

00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,595

I know you love the Seven Wonders

of the Ancient World,

00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,390

so here's a pop-it shaped like

the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus.

00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,683

Ooh!

00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,976

Hey, Janice, you big dummy.

00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,686

Do a shot from my floppy slot.

00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,813

Class of 2023 forever!

00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:23,689

[liquid sloshing]

00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,691

What the fuck are you doing back?

00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,861

Terry, you keep bossing me around,

and it's extremely sexy.

00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:30,779

I wanna do fun, kinky

hotel stuff with you

00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,865

and destroy a bed

we'll never have to see again.

00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:35,784

Uh, uh, phew, we need the room.

00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,704

Janice, clear my schedule

for the next 15, no, 16 minutes.

00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,330

Actually, wait, 15, 15 was right.

00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,623

[Terry claps]

00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,376

♪ gentle music ♪

00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:45,627

[both moaning]

00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,255

So, you like it when I'm the boss, huh?

00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,923

It makes me want to lick

your spacious teeth

00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,508

and tie these delicate wrists down.

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,384

[handcuffs clicking]

TERRY: Oh!

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,679

Oh, shit, that's so tight

on my fragile wrists.

00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,222

Oh, hey, where are you going?

00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,891

Oh, fuck,

are you Gerald's Gaming me?

00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:00,184

You're the one who taught me to use

00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:02,227

mid-tier Stephen King plots to get my way.

00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,771

But why?

You said I was the sexy boss.

00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,899

I can't let you tank

the Wooden City contract.

00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:08,400

The stakes are way too high.

00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,069

Korvo, don't Gerald's Game me, wait!

00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,947

I fell asleep in that movie,

and I don't know how it ends.

00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,286

Nothing like swingin' the old golf ball

00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,246

after a week of comptrolling, am I right?

00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,372

[golf ball whooshes]

00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,957

What happened to that Terry fellow?

00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,084

He was gonna show me an Earth Rake.

00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,836

Look, I can tell you're disappointed,

00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,796

or maybe you just have

a resting birch face,

00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,299

but I'm prepared to play

the most boring round of golf,

00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,551

just to show you

how serious Davenport Rakes is

00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,802

about getting your business.

00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:36,887

Wanna make this interesting?

00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,806

I'll bet you a thousand bucks

you can't make your shot behind that tree.

00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,935

I have a name. It's Chris Pine.

00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:46,730

Uh, sure, if you need me

to impress you, I-I-I can sink that.

00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,110

♪ suspenseful music ♪

[thoughts buzzing]

00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,364

[golf ball thuds]

00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,658

- [golf ball rattles]

- Holy Shiv Roy.

00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,117

Okay, double or nothing.

00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,577

[water splashes]

00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,329

♪ upbeat music ♪

[golf ball rattles]

00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,414

Ugh, triple or nothing.

00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,376

Quadruple or nothing.

00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:08,710

[golf ball whooshes]

00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,128

Duo-nipple or nothing.

00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,965

[golf ball rattling]

00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,092

We had a similar game on the home world,

except if you lost,

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,094

your eyeballs were used

on the driving ranges.

00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,887

I used to have a third eye in my armpit.

00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:19,805

[golf ball whooshes]

00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,515

♪ suspenseful music ♪

00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,099

[telephone thuds]

00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:22,891

RECEPTIONIST:

Front desk.

00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,476

Help, I've been Gerald's Gamed.

00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,894

RECEPTIONIST:

If we sent help to everyone

00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,104

who was being Gerald's Gamed,

00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:28,856

we'd have no time to sniff your boxers.

00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:32,067

I'm a major Rake Executive

at a Fortune five billion company.

00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:32,860

[door thuds]

00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,778

[pants] Sorry the elevator is out,

00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:35,946

so I had to take the stairs,

00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,489

and I forgot to take my heart meds.

00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:38,156

[heavy breathing]

00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:40,742

But luckily, I was able eat

this Philly Treesteak

00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:41,577

on the way up.

00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,661

[treesteak crunches]

Mm-mmm.

00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,079

Not loving this pattern.

00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,831

Let me just--

[groans]

00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:46,582

[employee thuds]

00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,792

Okay, now this is

exactly like the poster

00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:49,751

from Gerald's Game.

00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:50,544

No!

00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,964

I don't understand

why the Beet wasn't in there.

00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,924

The lyrics were,

"Bigger, faster, stronger.

00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,010

Bigger, faster, Apple store stronger."

00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:59,219

Oh, shit!

00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473

Hey, yo, stop that.

00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,018

I just built that apple tower, come on!

00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:06,768

Hang on.

00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,521

The apple store lyrics are

from the song Take A Bite.

00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,856

What if--

00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:11,857

[apple crunches]

00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,359

- Mm-hmm.

- Good idea, the girl.

00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,153

Nut up and take a bite, bitch.

00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:20,699

- [apple crunches]

- Gonna have to pay for that.

00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,325

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,119

The Beet!

00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,830

And there's a map

to the venue on the back.

00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,791

Wow, great work kid.

Come on, let's jump on the old chopper.

00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,001

I know a shortcut.

00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,337

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:35,631

Now, drop that Beet.

00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:37,257

Pinecone, what are you doing?

00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,510

This VIP pass can admit all of us.

00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:40,969

I don't give a shit about that.

00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,429

I fucking hate Daft Trunk.

00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,681

I'm not even a lovable pinecone.

00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,766

[Pinecone grunts]

00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,101

- You're a rotten peach.

- Ew!

00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,478

You're damn right, I am.

00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,771

Now gimme that Beet.

00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,813

But why?

00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,941

I needed gas money

for my trip to Atlanta,

00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,235

because this thing only gets

five mpg on the highway

00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:58,445

because of the sidecar,

which I only have

00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,614

because my girlfriend

is going to sit in it

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,615

when I pick her up.

00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:04,076

I gotta see my girlfriend A-S-A-Piss,

00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:05,911

because she's stuck with

a couple of male roommates

00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,496

who give her massages all the time.

00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,456

Aww, she must be so stressed out.

00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,292

Oh, buddy, I don't think

she's your girlfriend anymore.

00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,335

Shut the fuck up!

00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:14,920

That's what everyone always says.

00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,839

No one ever accepted me

in this shitty town

00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,550

because peaches aren't native

to the woods.

00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,678

I was a lonely peach,

left as trash from a tiki drink,

00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:25,055

when this entire city was created.

00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:26,098

I never really fit in.

00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,559

My whole life has been

proving my worth to everyone.

00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,020

So I'm gettin' outta here

and meeting up with my girlfriend

00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,106

in Atlanta, Georgia.

00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,065

And when I show up,

00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,651

it's gonna be a big surprise

to my girlfriend,

00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,195

because she's not

returning my calls right now.

00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,155

I'm sure her phone is probably broken.

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,283

One of her muscular, platonic friends

00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:45,701

probably stepped on it.

00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,870

Gimme that shit

and don't you dare follow me.

00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,788

[bike sputtering]

You're pussies.

00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,331

- [bike revving]

- Can you believe that?

00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,418

No, those guys are definitely

nailing his girlfriend.

00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,420

I-I need you

to send someone else.

00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,255

You keep sending a bunch

of silly gooses

00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,590

who all end up dying on me

00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,717

by tripping and heart-attacking

and peanut-allerging.

00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,093

[floor creaks]

[Terry screams]

00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,055

You're being Gerald's Gamed too?

00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,932

Ah, we're Bachman buddies.

00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,683

♪ suspenseful music ♪

00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,644

Oh God, I gotta win my money back.

00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:13,896

Let's bet on something else.

00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,689

How about we shift gears,

forget about the fact

00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,692

that you owe me $250K,

and talk about Davenport Rakes?

00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:22,029

I can't focus on a fucking

landscaping presentation

00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,488

until I win my money back.

00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,033

Ooh, the spicy owl wing challenge.

00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,659

If I beat it, I don't owe you shit,

00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,287

but if I lose,

I'll listen to your presentation.

00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:33,040

Sir, those are extremely spicy

and you might die,

00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,083

but I'd be an idiot not to take that bet.

You're on.

00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:35,876

[owl wing whooshes]

00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:39,087

[heaves, groans]

00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,381

[gulps]

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,049

[coughs]

00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,134

[tapping on window]

00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,345

You took advantage

of my obsession

00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:48,180

with fucking

in a fun vacation setting.

00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,264

[Terry screams]

[bedpost smashes]

00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:52,309

This is something I should

have done a long time ago.

00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,310

[rake clanks]

00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,145

Or at the very least, like,

a few hours ago,

00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,647

and we would've avoided all of this.

00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,023

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,277

KORVO AND TERRY:

Rake fight!

00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:05,697

[rakes clanging]

[Korvo and Terry grunting]

00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:10,410

[both panting, grunting]

00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,876

[rakes clank]

00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,045

[bystander screams]

[Terry thuds]

00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,673

This is exactly why you

could never be a real boss.

00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:25,092

Real leadership takes embracing

boring, grown-up stuff.

00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,969

It's more than just parties

with ice sculptures,

00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,512

and coming up with dumb inventions.

00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,430

[gasps] That's it, my Earth Rake.

00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,515

[satellite beeps]

00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:32,307

[door whirring]

00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,351

[rake booms]

00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,519

[rake whooshes]

00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:40,065

Oh, fuck!

00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,821

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,282

♪

00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,116

[women scream]

00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,494

Ooh, very clean, they did a nice job.

00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,705

[ground rumbling]

00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,957

[Korvo screams]

00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,419

Why does a town even need

this much honey?

00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,629

Shit damn, this is delicious!

00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,966

Aw, I've loved Daft Trunk

since I discovered them on SNL.

00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,051

And now I'll probably never meet them.

00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,637

Why don't we just break in

to the party Ocean's 8 style,

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,306

the only Ocean movie I recognize?

00:16:12,306 --> 00:16:13,765

We don't know where it is.

00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,143

The map was on the back of the Beet.

00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,437

That rotten peach took my stuff.

00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:20,731

We'll never find another clue.

00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,358

We'd have to know

all their amazing lyrics by heart.

00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,943

Wait a minute.

00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,654

I know all the lyrics

to every Daft Trunk song ever made,

00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:32,242

because I, Yumyulack Opposites,

am a huge Daft Trunk fan.

00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,036

But why did you pretend to hate

00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,704

the raddest band of all time?

00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,290

I have an anarchist reputation

to protect, yo.

00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,667

Anyway, there are some lyrics

that I've been thinking about

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,627

that might help us.

00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:45,130

♪ Party in the sky, party like

you're dying of pink eye ♪

00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,174

I don't even remember that song.

00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,426

I paid $10,000 for

a bonus track they made

00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,802

for a friend who died

of pink eye.

00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,512

Bless up.

00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:53,889

Wow, Yum, you are a real fan.

00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:55,891

"Party in the sk--"

00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,267

There!

00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,771

[people screaming]

00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:01,772

This is all your fault.

00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,524

Oh, I unleashed a space rake

00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:06,109

that hit a giant beehive tower

that flooded us in honey?

00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,153

None of this would've happened

if you just believed in me.

00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,739

You were gonna take the comptroller

to Woodchuck E. Trees.

00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:11,865

I did my research.

00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,909

That comptroller is a degenerate gambler.

00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:17,454

Woodchuck E Trees is basically

just a very winnable casino.

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,289

Oh, my God, you're right.

00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,041

All day, he was just trying to win.

00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:24,002

Terry, I'm sorry.

I should've believed in you.

00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,754

From now on, I see you as a leader.

00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,882

And we're equal leaders,

you at work, and me at home.

00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,050

[honey bubbling]

00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,718

Oh God, w-w-we're sinking.

00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,012

We only have time for one call

before we're totally dipped.

00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,722

- Give it to me.

- No fucking way.

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,224

Believe in me as a leader.

00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:40,435

[keypad beeping]

00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,521

MAN:

Hello, Leaf Malnati's Pizza.

00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,731

Goddamn it, Terry,

why would you order a pizza?

00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,567

MAN: Hello, I got a lot

of customers, man. Hello?

00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,860

Can I get a large pepperoni...

00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:48,819

[gasps]

00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:49,611

[splashes]

00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,029

with garlic, green peppers...

00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,407

artichoke hearts and

00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,410

[splashes]

fresh tomatoes, please?

00:17:56,994 --> 00:18:00,956

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:05,836

- [Terry coughs]

- Got your pie, man.

00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:06,962

Tracked your phone to your location.

00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:08,422

That'll be 27 bucks.

00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,299

[Terry and Korvo coughing]

00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:12,134

Uh, it tastes so good though.

00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,343

How did you know that would work?

00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,971

If they don't complete a delivery,

it comes out of their paycheck.

00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,182

They get placed faster

than emergency services.

00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,683

I'm, I'm impressed, Terry.

00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,851

[clears throat]

00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,103

Yeah, I don't have any cash on me.

00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,813

Korvo, can you pay the man?

[Korvo sighs]

00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:27,399

Did you really need to order

the most expensive toppings

00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:28,525

for a rescue pizza?

00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,360

Boo, once you have pizza

with artichokes,

00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,571

you will never fuck

with choke-less again.

00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:36,283

♪ dramatic music ♪

00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,993

♪

00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,369

Wowie!

00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,581

We're gonna have to sneak in

through that "Winnie The Pooh" hole.

00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,374

I'll climb on your shoulders

to get in there,

00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,210

then I'll open the side door

and you can come in.

00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:48,378

Wait, why don't I climb

on your shoulders?

00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:51,340

Because you're stronger than me

from carrying all the character work.

00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:52,382

I'm just a cipher.

00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,009

Yeah, your stories are pretty thin.

00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:56,094

Alright, get your

two-dimensional ass up there.

00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:58,430

[Yumyulack screams]

00:18:58,430 --> 00:18:59,473

[groans]

00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,435

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God,

I'm a huge fan.

00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,979

I bought every one of your albums.

Can you sign something for me?

00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,148

My bounty belt?

No, my face!

00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,276

Oh, the bullies from earlier?

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,945

Look, it's that alien trash.

00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:15,864

I thought we blocked your sorry ass

so you couldn't find any Beets.

00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,115

Yet here you are,

00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,826

crawling around like a wormy bitch

where you're not wanted.

00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,495

This is just like your second album,

00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:23,914

Never Meet Your Heroes,

Because They Turn Out to be Bullies.

00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:26,834

I think he wants

an autograph on his face.

00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:30,879

[punches and kicks thudding]

[Yumyulack screaming]

00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,799

Yay, let's go!

00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:35,634

Whoa, what happened?

00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,302

Jesse, there's something

you should know.

00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,762

I met Daft Trunk.

00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:39,847

Shut your face, shut it.

00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,015

Oh, my God, open your face

and tell me what they were like.

00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:42,975

They were...

00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,185

♪ pensive music ♪

00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:48,438

amazing, like,

better than you could imagine.

00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,565

I frigging knew it.

00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:51,400

Oh gosh, I gotta get in there.

How do I look?

00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,734

You just missed them.

00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,027

I saw them on their way out.

00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,113

They think they're doing

the Smartless podcast in the morning,

00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,781

so, party's over.

00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,199

Oh, geez.

00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,034

But I did get you one of their helmets.

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,786

Ah, no way.

Get outta here!

00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,746

Being grounded with you is the best thing

00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,373

that's ever happened to me.

00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,624

[Yumyulack sighs]

00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,126

- [all cheering]

- Seven wings.

00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:11,420

I did it, I ate all seven.

00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,796

Korvo... [groans]

00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,089

I'm so happy right now,

00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:15,883

I'll say yes to anything

you have to pitch.

00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,467

I would love to close this deal,

00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,094

but this win belongs to Terry.

00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:22,055

He's the real boss of our company

and deserves all of the credit.

00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,056

Thank you, Korvo.

00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,601

- Mr. Comptroller, I quit.

- What?

00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,311

I can just be an equal boss at home.

[comptroller groaning]

00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,188

Zero commute time and no Doug.

[comptroller thuds]

00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,564

But home is my castle.

00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,442

Plus, you gotta keep this job

or the Pupa will turn into steam again.

00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:37,029

As the Pupa specialist,

let me say, he's fucking fine.

00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,406

We just had a whole sci-fi rake fight

in a Wooden City,

00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,533

and the Pupa hasn't done anything crazy.

00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:43,202

Wait, where is he?

00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:44,953

- Ah!

- Ah, he's dead!

00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,039

Shit, we left him in the car

with the windows up.

00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:48,207

Holy shit!

[Pupa gasps]

00:20:48,207 --> 00:20:50,083

Oh, thank God, he was just sleeping.

00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,169

Forgot how he looks super ugly

when he sleeps.

00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:53,212

Fuck, that was scary.

00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:54,838

Terry, that was our wake-up call.

00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,549

We will never leave the Pupa

in the car alone again.

00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:00,052

Oh, they have

a Displaced Aboriginal Steakhouse!

00:21:00,052 --> 00:21:01,512

Let's get some Uluru Poppers.

00:21:01,512 --> 00:21:04,848

♪ gentle music ♪

00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:08,519

Damn it, Terry, I've nearly detangled

the entire wiring of the ship myself,

00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:09,728

and you haven't done a damn thing.

00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,855

And we wouldn't even be in this situation

if you had combed

00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,857

leave-in conditioner

through the wires like I asked.

00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,734

As an equal leader, I get an equal vote

00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,152

in whether or not I work on the ship.

00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:20,155

And my vote went to watching videos

of this hamster try to eat a watermelon.

00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:21,406

Terry, you lazy motherf--

♪ bass heavy music ♪

00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,116

What is that horrible sound?

00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,410

Where did she even get that stupid helmet?

00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,498

I'm gonna rip you apart, alien scumnut.

00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:31,625

Aw, Daft shrunk.

00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,335

[bullies groan]

00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,963

[rattling]

00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:37,297

[bullies scream]

00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:39,842

The fuck?

00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:42,678

♪ ominous music ♪

00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:46,557

♪

00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,019

Greetings, newcomer,

and congratulations.

00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,313

Congratulations for what?

This sucks.

00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:56,233

For being chosen by Jesse, of course.

00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:57,609

Ha, fuck that little freak.

00:21:57,985 --> 00:22:00,153

Do you not pledge

your heart and soul to Jesse,

00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,405

our one and only savior?

00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,865

She and her stupid brother are the ones

00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,533

who put us in here. We hate them.

00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:06,743

Nobody speaks of Jesse that way.

00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,746

Get your hands fucking off my guy!

00:22:10,122 --> 00:22:11,707

[sword swooshes]

00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:19,423

GUARD: There is no room

for heathens in bowed heaven.

00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,258

No, no, no, no, no.

00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,927

Please, no!

00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:25,095

[sword swooshes]

[sap splatters]

00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:31,727

♪ dramatic theme music ♪

00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:34,813

♪

00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:13,060

[mimicking laser fire]