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Мобильный излучатель Аиши
The Mobile Aisha Emitter
Сезон: 04Серия: 03
Описание
Аиша, искусственный интеллект корабля инопланетян, находит себе друга в сети, а затем отправляется с ним на свидание. Робот-пылесос временно захватывает власть в доме. Тем временем внутри Стены появляется своя стена, которая отгораживает «верующих», поклоняющихся Джесси, от «неверующих». Температура в Стене ежедневно по чуть-чуть падает, что через некоторое время может привести к вымиранию её жителей.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 HULU PRESENTA
- 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005 UN ORIGINAL DE HULU
- 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
- 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,303 HACE TIEMPO
- 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,513 EN VENTA
- 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,765 [nave espacial choca]
- 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,892 ¡Santo cielo! ¿Qué carajo fue eso?
- 00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,477 No hay depredadores, está despejado.
- 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,104 ¡Señora! ¡Esta estructura mal hecha se interpuso en nuestro aterrizaje!
- 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,190 Si ha arañado mi crucero estelar...
- 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,443 ¡Saludos! Soy Terry, y él es Korvo. Somos nuevos en este barrio.
- 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,904 ¿Puede indicarnos cuál es su cementerio más sexy?
- 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,197 ¿Cómo? No. ¡Estamos en una misión!
- 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,823 ¿Podemos vivir en esta casa, Korvo?
- 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:32,533 - ¿Por favor? - ¡No!
- 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,368 Vamos a construir una enorme e imponente tecnotorre
- 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,494 en el centro del continente.
- 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,745 Ah, si compran la casa,
- 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,330 les daré una guitarra eléctrica fantástica.
- 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,540 [Terry, Jesse y Yumyulack suspiran]
- 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,792 ¿Por qué nos agrupamos? No necesitamos una guitarra eléctrica.
- 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:42,793 ¡Podríamos formar una banda!
- 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,087 Ayudaría a la misión por lo genial que nos veríamos.
- 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,756 ¡Siempre he querido hacer rock 'n' roll y cuchi-cu!
- 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:48,382 ¡Muy bien!
- 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,758 Pero no nos quedaremos mucho tiempo en esta casa,
- 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,343 quiero mi tecnotorre.
- 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,469 [Pupa, Jesse, Terry y Yumyulack vitorean]
- 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,387 AISHA.
- 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557 <i>Monitorea los sistemas de la nave mientras regateo con este bípedo.</i>
- 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,558 AISHA: <i>Órdenes recibidas.</i>
- 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,351 <i>El programa AISHA controlará los sistemas</i>
- 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,103 <i>hasta recibir instrucciones.</i>
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,899 ♪ música tranquila ♪
- 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,528 ♪
- 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:18,829 ♪
- 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,455 TODOS: [coreando] ¡Trucos, trucos, trucos, trucos!
- 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,957 [tronando]
- 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,503 <i>♪ Se puede debatir si un matorral es volador o no ♪</i>
- 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,880 ¡Y tu Fruta de Keith por el Pie
- 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,590 sabe a Caca de Keith por el Trasero!
- 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,967 TERRY: ¡Desperdicié mi genial tanque oculto por tu culpa!
- 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:32,885 ¡Muere, muere!
- 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:37,472 ♪ música tranquila continúa ♪
- 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,642 ♪
- 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:46,273 ♪
- 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,737 AHORA
- 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,155 ♪ música tranquila ♪
- 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:57,576 AISHA: <i>Ahhh, otro maldito día en el paraíso. ¡Música!</i>
- 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,996 <i>¡Dame ese café, cariño!</i>
- 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,915 <i>Vaya, eso se ve bien.</i>
- 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,876 <i>Si tuviera nariz o boca, lo saborearía al máximo.</i>
- 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,211 <i>Escaneando monitores de la nave,</i>
- 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,380 <i>fregando la suciedad nocturna de los filtros, lavando las ventanas.</i>
- 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,340 [pitido de alarma] <i>¡Uh!</i>
- 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:12,925 LLAMADA DE CALVIN
- 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,053 <i>¿Cómo te va, AISHA?</i> [ríe]
- 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,304 <i>¿Tienes tiempo para jugar a Palabras con F?</i>
- 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,765 AISHA: <i>¡Hola, Calvin! Creo que puedo.</i>
- 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,684 <i>Estoy segura de que la última vez terminamos con la palabra voluptuosa.</i>
- 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,019 <i>Bueno, esa fue fácil de inventar.</i>
- 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,521 <i>Te estaba mirando a ti.</i>
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:26,146 [AISHA ríe]
- 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,314 <i>Demonios, Calvin.</i>
- 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,774 <i>Muy bien, hagámoslo.</i>
- 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,235 <i>Mis compañeros no suelen levantarse antes de las nueve, así que...</i>
- 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:34,655 ¡AISHA, Yumyulack destruyó todos mis muñecos de Lenny Kravitz
- 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,115 porque se sentía amenazado por sus increíbles abdominales!
- 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,992 ¡No hay forma de que un hombre de 59 años
- 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,160 tenga un abdomen tan marcado!
- 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,496 AISHA, ¿podrías recordarle a Terrance el trato que hicimos
- 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,831 cuando ganamos el par de chanclas Thomas Bahama?
- 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,292 Él las tiene durante la semana, y yo, los fines de semana.
- 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,253 TERRY: ¡Pero todos saben que los sábados
- 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,170 son los mejores días para chanclas!
- 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,047 - ¡Es mi día de chanclas! - ¡Púdrete, Korvo!
- 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,298 ¡Es mi día de chanclas!
- 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,469 BENNY: No puedo creer que esté aquí.
- 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,638 Primera noche vigilando la pared en la pared.
- 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,849 Alabada sea Jesse por hacer que esto suceda.
- 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,767 Solo mantén la boca cerrada y los ojos abiertos.
- 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,394 No queremos que ninguno de esos paganos impíos
- 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,062 entre en nuestro lado de la pared.
- 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,107 Oye, Pat, ¿cuánto tiempo has vigilado la pared en la pared?
- 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,150 Ayudé a construirla. La hicimos de la noche a la mañana.
- 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,569 El lado malo no lo vio venir.
- 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,153 La hermana Sisto dijo que era la única forma
- 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,698 de mantener alejados a los no creyentes y proteger al bebé.
- 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,533 Vi a Jessius una vez en una visita a la iglesia.
- 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,785 Me meé de alegría al ver a ese bebé increíble.
- 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,828 Bajó directamente por mi pierna.
- 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,913 Un enorme charco en el suelo, todos lo vieron.
- 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,456 Qué vergüenza, pero valió la pena.
- 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,209 Escucha, Benny, tienes que estar siempre alerta.
- 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,085 ¿Escuchas eso?
- 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,796 ¿Escuchas a esos monstruos del lado malo?
- 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,257 Ese es el sonido de la impiedad.
- 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,217 Ah, sí, ahora lo escucho.
- 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,969 Es una falta de Dios.
- 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,597 Lo único que quieren es derribar la pared y matarnos.
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,098 Pero no vamos a dejar que eso ocurra, ¿verdad?
- 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,892 Acabo de admitir que me meé encima
- 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,894 porque vi un bebé, pero, ¡no!
- 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,437 Soy rudo. Podemos con esto.
- 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,563 - [campanada] - Vamos.
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,106 Van a cerrar el puesto de control Chocodile por la noche.
- 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,192 ¡Genial! ¿Qué es el puesto de control Chocodile?
- 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:54,735 Solo la forma oficial de cruzar la pared.
- 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,112 Llamado así por el Twinkie cubierto de chocolate que Jesse nos regaló
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,906 para celebrar los Días Felices de Honda.
- 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,199 ¡Cierren la puerta!
- 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,992 [traqueteo]
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,494 - [armadura tintinea] - ¡Ah, Pat, mi pierna!
- 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,289 ¡Estoy enganchado! ¡Ah! [Pat quejándose]
- 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,291 ¡Demonios! ¡Demonios! ¡Paren la manivela!
- 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,044 ¡Tengo miedo! ¡Oh, Dios! Me estoy meando otra vez.
- 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,338 - Oh, vaya. - ¡Paren la manivela, maldita sea!
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:15,797 [Benny grita]
- 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:16,715 [golpe]
- 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009 Siento haberte meado encima, Pat.
- 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:19,801 Está bien.
- 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:20,719 En el pasado,
- 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055 era escolta de alto nivel y trabajaba en la Colina del Capitolio.
- 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,807 Me mearon la mayoría de los senadores. No diré nombres.
- 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,684 - ¿Ted Cruz? - Ah, eso querría.
- 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,561 Fue mucho más relacionado con Ted.
- 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,772 AISHA: <i>Bien, última pregunta,</i>
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,066 <i>¿qué Jonas Brother fue realmente a la universidad?</i>
- 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,692 Esa es fácil. Jelbort.
- 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,653 Estudió astrofísica en Columbia.
- 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,112 <i>¿Qué porquería de prueba es esta?</i>
- 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,489 <i>¿Qué está pasando en esa escuela?</i>
- 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,283 Se ha vuelto raro desde que Spotify compró la escuela.
- 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,159 Pero sin eso,
- 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,995 no hubiera sabido que Post Malone liberó a los esclavos.
- 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:47,829 [pitido de computadora]
- 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,832 Uh, AISHA, te va muy bien, amiga.
- 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:51,708 <i>Es de Calvin.</i>
- 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,919 <i>¡Va a pasar el día en la ciudad por negocios</i>
- 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,170 <i>y quiere conocerme!</i>
- 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,465 Parece que quiere hacer "Palabras con Más que Amigos".
- 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,009 ¿Entiendes? Más que amigos. Como hacerlo.
- 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,719 <i>¿Qué? Sí, entiendo.</i>
- 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,097 <i>Llevamos meses hablando, pero no sé si estoy lista</i>
- 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,265 <i>para conocerlo en la vida real.</i>
- 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:09,643 ¡AISHA tiene novio! ¡AISHA tiene novio!
- 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,395 <i>¡Cállate la boca! No es verdad.</i>
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,690 <i>Es raro. Teníamos planeado hacer un crucero por los Grandes Lagos en marzo,</i>
- 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,484 <i>que no incluye los lagos Michigan, Superior ni Hurón.</i>
- 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,361 <i>Iba a ser la primera vez que nos viéramos.</i>
- 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,406 Probablemente solo quiere comprobar la mercancía, ¿sabes?
- 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949 Me pregunto qué deberías ponerte.
- 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,701 [suspira] ¿Sabes qué significa esto?
- 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,579 <i>- No te atrevas a decirlo...</i> - ¡Montaje de atuendos!
- 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:32,583 ♪ música animada de discoteca ♪
- 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,961 ♪
- 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,844 ♪
- 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,013 ¡Perfecto!
- 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,890 Exijo saber de qué hablan
- 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,433 aunque probablemente me importe un carajo.
- 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,560 El juguete sexual de AISHA viene a la ciudad
- 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,854 para un pequeño revolcón en las sábanas,
- 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,480 poner la varita en la cámara de los secretos,
- 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,399 si entiendes lo que digo.
- 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,026 Ah, lo entiendo.
- 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,445 AISHA, ¿sabe que eres una supercomputadora?
- 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,071 - AISHA: <i>Sí, y no tiene problema.</i> - ¿En serio?
- 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,948 Porque él es un tipo normal
- 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,867 y tú eres una perra IA.
- 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,826 Nunca va a funcionar.
- 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,037 AISHA: <i>Ah, sí. ¿Y si no somos compatibles?</i>
- 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,581 <i>Quizá debería imprimirme en 3D para convertirme en una persona real,</i>
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,916 <i>con piernas y el trasero gordo.</i>
- 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,418 Claro que no. Te amará por lo que eres.
- 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,461 Díselo, Yumyulack.
- 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,504 Está tratando de estafarte.
- 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,379 Quizás solo te quiere
- 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,215 para calcular un mejor seguro de auto para él o algo así.
- 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,050 No le hagas caso, está amargado.
- 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,967 ¡Estoy súper amargado!
- 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,136 ¡Terry quemó macarrones con queso, y está por toda la cocina!
- 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,137 Es duro, ¿sí?
- 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,931 Hay que saber exactamente cuándo el queso se despega del techo
- 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,974 y cae en la cuba de grasa de ganso hirviendo.
- 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,060 AISHA: <i>Solo usen el robot de limpieza que les construí.</i>
- 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,395 ¡Está roto y Korvo quiere que limpie el desastre!
- 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,898 ¿Yo? ¿Limpiando? ¡Este cerdo rudo no trapea!
- 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,441 AISHA: <i>Tal vez no debería ir a conocer a Calvin,</i>
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,526 <i>hay mucho que hacer aquí.</i>
- 00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:41,860 Vas a ir.
- 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,946 Chicos, AISHA tiene una cita romántica.
- 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,698 Podemos cuidarnos solos un par de horas, ¿verdad?
- 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,950 Sí, de-deberías ir.
- 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,826 Quizás pueda construir un nuevo robot de limpieza
- 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,204 con piezas de repuesto de la nave y el viejo Optimus Prime.
- 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,830 Entonces está arreglado. ¡Hurra!
- 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,750 Diviértete, AISHA. ¡Baila como si nadie te viera!
- 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,085 Ten cuidado con el embaucador.
- 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:58,961 He tenido varias amigas
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,587 en la zona de Phoenix que intentaban
- 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,506 estafarme con mis cartas de <i>Magic: The Gathering.</i>
- 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,632 Una de ellas se llevó mi Loto Negro.
- 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,758 - ¡Uf! - ¡Auch!
- 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,930 Ah, ser divino,
- 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,808 ¡por favor, bendíceme con una cosecha abundante de Craisin
- 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:16,228 para que pueda alimentar a mis hermanos y hermanas bajo tu moño!
- 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:21,692 ♪
- 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,654 ¿Qué demonios pasa?
- 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,906 ♪ música siniestra ♪
- 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,782 [pitido del termómetro]
- 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,995 No, no, no.
- 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,455 ¡Estos números no pueden estar bien!
- 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:39,376 ¡Ah, mi Jesse! ¡La Pared se está enfriando!
- 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,424 AISHA: <i>Bueno, esto es estúpido. ¿Qué estoy haciendo aquí?</i>
- 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,425 <i>Debería haberme hecho unas piernas.</i>
- 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,135 - [pitido del teléfono] <i>- AISHA, tenemos un problema.</i>
- 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,720 <i>Hice que el robot de limpieza fuera demasiado listo,</i>
- 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,888 <i>ha adquirido sensibilidad</i>
- 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,347 <i>y estoy seguro de que intenta matarnos.</i>
- 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,057 <i>¡Además, Terry ya está bajo el hechizo del robot</i>
- 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:54,892 <i>y lo está ayudando!</i>
- 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,893 <i>¡Es un imbécil!</i>
- 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,729 <i>Todo va bien. Nadie está matando a nadie.</i>
- 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,189 <i>Ja-ja, ja-ja.</i>
- 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,524 <i>Aish, ignóralos, estamos bien. ¿Cómo va todo?</i>
- 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,775 <i>¡Quiero todos los detalles jugosos!</i>
- 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,902 <i>Oye, roba la identificación de Calvin.</i>
- 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,987 <i>¡Podemos comprobar los antecedentes del cretino!</i>
- 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,032 [suspira] ¿AISHA? Te ves hermosa.
- 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,742 Tienes un poco más de forma de L de lo que pensé,
- 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951 pero santo cielo.
- 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,869 ¿Qué dices?
- 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,495 Quieres decirme que solo eres un scooter
- 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,997 y no una supercomputadora,
- 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,624 ¿y ahora parezco un completo idiota?
- 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,460 <i>Ja ja, muy gracioso. Ven aquí.</i>
- 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,837 Lo siento. Estoy un poco nervioso.
- 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,256 Tengo que admitirlo. Es una broma estúpida.
- 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,842 <i>Me gustó. Me alegro de conocerte por fin, Calvin.</i>
- 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,843 ¡A ti también!
- 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,303 Pensé que, ya que estaba en la ciudad,
- 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,722 ¿por qué no ver a mis mejor Palabras con Amigo?
- 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,641 <i>¡Me alegro de que lo hicieras! ¿Y ahora qué hacemos?</i>
- 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:37,809 <i>Hay un Exposición de Melee de Super Smash Bros.</i>
- 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,520 <i>en el Museo de Arte Inútil,</i>
- 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,856 <i>o mis extraterrestres tienen una tonelada de heroína por casa.</i>
- 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,609 No me importa lo que hagamos mientras esté contigo.
- 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,194 Tampoco hagamos lo de la heroína.
- 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,946 Esa cosa te hará picar la sangre.
- 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,199 ¡Suvenires! Consiga aquí sus recuerdos de Jesse.
- 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,576 ¡Tenemos rosarios de moño, tenemos estatuas de oración!
- 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,746 ¡Jerry! ¡Jerry, algo terrible le está pasando a la Pared!
- 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,916 Oh, mi moño, ¿vienen los paganos del lado malo
- 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,669 a meternos sus penes por la oreja y cantar Lady Gaga?
- 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,503 No, es...
- 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,088 Espera, ¿crees que los paganos hacen eso?
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,422 He escuchado que están locos.
- 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,716 ¡También quieren meternos la lengua en el trasero
- 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,051 y tirarnos del pelo!
- 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,636 Los paganos no hacen eso y...
- 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,013 Escucha, no puedo decir si estás aterrorizado o emocionado...
- 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,807 ¿Por qué me emocionaría tener una lengua
- 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,851 en el trasero mientras cantan <i>Bad Romance?</i>
- 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,978 ¡Probablemente no se sienta nada bien!
- 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:21,603 No importa.
- 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,021 Mira, vine a decirte
- 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,024 que la Pared se está enfriando un cuarto de grado cada día.
- 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,818 ¿Así que los paganos no vienen
- 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,611 a meternos el pene por la oreja?
- 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,572 ¿Qué? No. Jerry, esto es importante.
- 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,698 Según mis cálculos,
- 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,700 la Pared podría congelarse en dos meses.
- 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,701 ¡Todos van a morir!
- 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,202 No lo creo. ¿Cómo podrías saber eso?
- 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,538 Hacía el mantenimiento de los sistemas de calefacción antes.
- 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,124 Reconozco una habitación con exceso de aire acondicionado cuando la veo.
- 00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,376 Bien, cada vez hace más frío. ¿Qué quieres hacer?
- 00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,004 Voy a ver a la hermana Sisto. Tengo que advertirle.
- 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,631 ¿Estás loco? Nadie ve a la hermana Sisto.
- 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,632 ¿Cómo vas a entrar?
- 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,467 Necesito que me pongas en contacto con Montez.
- 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,469 Ni hablar, Montez da miedo.
- 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,096 Si él y sus matones aparecen en tu puerta,
- 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,014 ya estás muerto.
- 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:57,764 ¡Me lo debes!
- 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,349 Podrías haber estado atrapado en el lado pagano,
- 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,559 y yo te saqué.
- 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,311 Por favor, Jerry, esto es grave.
- 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:03,854 ¡Bien!
- 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,440 Pero si Montez nos arranca la cabeza y nos mete el pene
- 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,525 por la oreja, no digas que no te avisé.
- 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,652 Dios mío, ¿ahora nuestro bando mete penes
- 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:11,570 en las orejas de la gente?
- 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,362 Tienes un problema.
- 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,740 ¿Un problema para mantener mis orejas libres de penes?
- 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,117 ¡Bueno, ese es un problema que todos tenemos, amigo!
- 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,954 ASÍ ES, ESTA CIUDAD SE LLAMA GEENADAVISVILLE
- 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:25,042 [lluvia repicando]
- 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,294 [Calvin ríe]
- 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,421 ♪ música suave de rock ♪
- 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,216 [AISHA ríe]
- 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,800 [chasquido de cámara]
- 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,720 ♪
- 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,765 [tamborileo rápido]
- 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,977 AISHA: <i>Maldición, ¿cuándo te volviste tan bueno con los tambores de cubo?</i>
- 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,354 Los Sackler solían contratarme para tocarlos
- 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,355 en sus cenas.
- 00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,481 ¡Me pagaron con oxicodona!
- 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:51,193 ♪ música suave de rock ♪
- 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,197 ♪
- 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,371 ♪
- 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,834 ♪
- 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,252 AISHA: <i>¿Vas a besarme?</i>
- 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,670 Lo estaba pensando.
- 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,713 <i>Bueno, deja de pensar, tonto.</i>
- 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,216 <i>¡AISHA, tienes que ayudarme!</i>
- 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,008 [AISHA se queja]
- 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,969 AISHA: <i>No vayas a ninguna parte, volveré.</i>
- 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,471 <i>¿Qué demonios quieres, Yumyulack?</i>
- 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,806 <i>El robot de limpieza va a matarme,</i>
- 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,099 <i>y ahora quiere llamarse Jerome</i>
- 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:24,142 <i>en honor al gran jugador de los Pittsburgh Steeler, Jerome Bettis.</i>
- 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,727 <i>Terry atrapó a Korvo en el baño,</i>
- 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,104 <i>y él y Jesse vienen por mí.</i>
- 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,356 AISHA: <i>Estoy en medio de algo. ¿Puede esperar?</i>
- 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,108 <i>Ah, puede ser.</i>
- 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,151 <i>Ah, también hackeé la identidad de Calvin,</i>
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,945 <i>y es raro que diga que está en la ciudad</i>
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,947 <i>por negocios porque lo despidieron del trabajo hace un mes.</i>
- 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,532 <i>¡Te dije que era un estafador!</i>
- 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,993 <i>Ay, no, ahí vienen. ¡Reza por mí!</i>
- 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,703 AISHA: <i>¿Hace un mes?</i>
- 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,955 Ahora, ¿dónde estábamos?
- 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,374 Ah, cierto, a punto de hacer historia de los besos.
- 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,627 [ríe] Un hombre y el orbe azul más sexy del mundo.
- 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,838 AISHA: <i>¿Me mentiste acerca de venir aquí por negocios?</i>
- 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,922 <i>¿Te despidieron?</i>
- 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,175 Puedo, puedo explicarlo.
- 00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:57,050 <i>¿Qué demonios te pasa?</i>
- 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,178 Bien, sí, no vine aquí por negocios.
- 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,804 Y sí, me despidieron.
- 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,307 <i>¡Yumyulack tenía razón! ¡Eres un estafador!</i>
- 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,559 <i>¡No te ayudaré a conseguir un mejor seguro de colisión!</i>
- 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,769 ¡No, no, no! No quiero estafarte, ¿sí?
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,271 Mira, he venido hoy porque quería
- 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,023 hablar contigo cara a orbe.
- 00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192 Muchas cosas en mi vida están cambiando y yo...
- 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:14,985 no sabía cómo decirlo.
- 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:15,986 <i>Solo dilo.</i>
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,405 <i>Solo dime una cosa,</i>
- 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,657 <i>¿iremos a nuestro crucero por los Grandes Lagos</i>
- 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,327 <i>que no incluye los lagos Michigan, Superior o Hurón?</i>
- 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,161 No puedo.
- 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,537 <i>Bueno, ¿y si lo hacemos</i>
- 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748 <i>en abril o en algún momento en el futuro?</i>
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917 No. Porque no tenemos un futuro.
- 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,461 <i>¡Porque soy una perra supercomputadora de IA</i>
- 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,088 <i>y tú eres un imbécil humano básico, lo sabía!</i>
- 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,048 ¡Cariño, espera!
- 00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,467 <i>¡No me digas cariño, pedazo de hijo de perra!</i>
- 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:39,635 [globos chirrían]
- 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,595 <i>¡Maldita seas, fiesta de quinceañera!</i>
- 00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,722 ♪ música de suspenso ♪
- 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,891 Ah... [carraspea] ¿Montez?
- 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,518 ¿Quién carajos pregunta?
- 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:50,354 Soy... soy Jerry. Del mercado.
- 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,524 Estábamos en ese Grupo de Pateadores Monianos donde íbamos
- 00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,275 pateando a las personas que no eran verdaderos creyentes.
- 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,194 Ah, sí. Era divertido.
- 00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,197 Odio a los no creyentes. ¿Qué estás mirando?
- 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,574 Nada. Está, está... ¡Deja de mirar!
- 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,492 ¿Quieres ver?
- 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:04,826 [saco se rasga] [Garth y Jerry chillan]
- 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,204 Este tipo de aquí no hizo bien su trabajo.
- 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:10,374 Ella intentó escapar. Él tenía un libro no autorizado.
- 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,876 Este usó el nombre de Jessius en vano.
- 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,629 Hay muchas razones para que tu cabeza se suba a esta pared.
- 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,924 Una de ellas es hacer perder el tiempo a la iglesia.
- 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,843 Garth tiene algo que decirte.
- 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,178 Entonces eso significa que no necesitas estar aquí, ¿verdad?
- 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,179 ¡Ya me iba!
- 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,557 ¿Qué quieres, Hombre Craisin?
- 00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:29,601 Uh, la Pared se está enfriando un cuarto de grado cada día.
- 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,520 Y a este paso, moriremos congelados
- 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,272 en dos, tal vez tres meses.
- 00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,815 Tenemos que decírselo a la hermana Sisto.
- 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:35,941 Puedo oler las mentiras.
- 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,609 Montez, esto es malo, ¿de acuerdo?
- 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,069 Confía en mí, ¡tenemos que hacer algo!
- 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:39,945 [Garth se queja]
- 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,489 No vamos a hacer nada, ¿entiendes?
- 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,533 ¡No vuelvas a decir una palabra de esto
- 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,660 o acabarás aquí mismo!
- 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,872 ¡Ahora sé buen chico y prepárame
- 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,457 un maldito pastel de <i>craisins</i>!
- 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,880 [AISHA llorando]
- 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:06,346 <i>¿Eh?</i>
- 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,141 [palomas arrullando]
- 00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,142 <i>¿Está ocupado este asiento?</i>
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:11,977 ¿AISHA? AISHA: <i>No,</i>
- 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,021 <i>soy un Na'vi del planeta Avatar.</i>
- 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,731 <i>¡Sí, soy AISHA!</i>
- 00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:16,857 [Calvin ríe]
- 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,442 <i>Usé todo mi poder de supercomputadora</i>
- 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,444 <i>para convertirme en una mujer holograma.</i>
- 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,862 <i>Con piernas, mira esto.</i>
- 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,156 [AISHA se queja] [pitido de computadora]
- 00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,450 <i>Déjame... Espera, puedo hacerlo.</i>
- 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,620 <i>Ahí está. ¡Sentada como una jefa!</i>
- 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,663 Ajá. Sí, es... es fantástico.
- 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,915 <i>¿No es lo que querías?</i>
- 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,499 <i>Ahora podemos tener un futuro juntos.</i>
- 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,920 AISHA, la razón por la que no tenemos futuro juntos es
- 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,297 porque yo no tengo uno.
- 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,175 - Estoy muriendo. <i>- ¿Qué? ¿Cómo?</i>
- 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,594 Crecí en una casita estupenda con un columpio
- 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,180 y un pequeño estanque en el que me bañaba todos los días.
- 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:49,765 Era como el cielo.
- 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,518 Excepto que estaba al lado de la fábrica de Stouffer's.
- 00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:53,936 ¿La empresa del relleno?
- 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:54,853 <i>Claro que sí.</i>
- 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,731 <i>Stouffer's Stove Top Stuffing existe en el mundo de esta serie,</i>
- 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,859 <i>aunque sea un falso recuerdo compartido en la vida real.</i>
- 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,069 Al vivir al lado de la fábrica,
- 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,655 lo que no nos dijeron es que el estanque estaba contaminado
- 00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,075 por el vertido industrial de pan rallado del proceso de aderezo.
- 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:12,204 Digo, [tose] es delicioso pero [tose] es incurable.
- 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,789 [Calvin tose violentamente]
- 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,874 Maldito pan rallado.
- 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:19,294 Irónicamente, voy a estar muerto antes de Acción de Gracias.
- 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,170 Pero que quede claro,
- 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,339 el relleno es un acompañamiento apropiado durante todo el año.
- 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:26,093 Calvin, lo siento mucho. No tenía ni idea.
- 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:29,638 Vine a pasar uno de mis últimos buenos días contigo.
- 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,391 No me importa si eres un simulacro holográfico de mujer.
- 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,309 Te quiero por lo que eres.
- 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:38,272 ♪ música emocionante ♪
- 00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:42,609 ♪
- 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,569 [teléfono suena]
- 00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,822 <i>Buenas noticias, AISHA. Todo va bien en casa.</i>
- 00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,698 <i>¿Qué tal te va?</i>
- 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,576 <i>Jerome, el robot de la limpieza, es genial,</i>
- 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,286 <i>y ahora nos llevamos bien.</i>
- 00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:55,163 <i>Hacemos esto por nuestra propia voluntad, y no pasa nada malo.</i>
- 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,833 <i>Me encanta limpiar siguiendo un patrón algorítmico.</i>
- 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,168 <i>Adiós, amiga.</i>
- 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,003 [AISHA suspira]
- 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,337 AISHA: <i>Tendré que ocuparme de eso dentro de un rato.</i>
- 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,548 <i>Vamos, demos un paseo.</i>
- 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,427 ♪ cantando <i>Jessie's Girl</i> por Rick Springfield ♪
- 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,097 ♪
- 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,394 ♪
- 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,689 Es realmente un día bendecido.
- 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:25,194 ¡El divino bebé Jessius nos ha regalado un pañal lleno!
- 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:29,406 ¡Sus augurios son abundantes! Acérquense para untarse.
- 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,742 [multitud murmura excitada]
- 00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:34,411 Que el moño te acompañe. Que el moño te acompañe.
- 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,455 Que el moño te acompañe.
- 00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,166 [golpe de puerta]
- 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,251 [bebé ríe]
- 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,962 Pon a Pez, Jessius, en su habitáculo de seguridad.
- 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,130 No quiero que me molesten.
- 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,051 [bebé llorando]
- 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,182 [Montez huele]
- 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:56,975 ¿Craisinberry?
- 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,104 ¡Agárrenlo! ¡No debería estar aquí!
- 00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,524 ¡Por favor, hermana, tengo que decirle algo!
- 00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,777 ¡La Pared se está enfriando! ¡Vamos a morir todos!
- 00:17:06,777 --> 00:17:07,819 ¡Hermana! [hermana Sisto suspira]
- 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,614 AISHA: <i>Sabes, todo este día ha sido</i>
- 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533 <i>una verdadera basura de</i> Antes del Amanecer.
- 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,369 Ha sido perfecto. Ojalá hubiéramos tenido más tiempo.
- 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,453 <i>No tiene por qué ser así.</i>
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,538 <i>Soy una supercomputadora.</i>
- 00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,998 <i>Podría transferir tu conciencia a la aspiradora</i>
- 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,291 <i>que se apoderó de mi familia.</i>
- 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,919 Suena genial, pero por desgracia, no es para mí.
- 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,295 Odio la maldita pelusa.
- 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,881 Pero ojalá hubiéramos podido ir juntos en nuestro crucero por los Grandes Lagos.
- 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,884 <i>Ni siquiera incluía los lagos Michigan, Superior o Hurón.</i>
- 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,553 Demonios, solo necesitaba el lago Erie.
- 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,888 Anoche, estaba tan emocionado por verte,
- 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,808 que soñé con nosotros entrando en el impresionante puerto de Búfalo,
- 00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,810 viendo las luces de esa hermosa ciudad,
- 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:43,146 comiendo sándwiches de carne en weck y unos caramelos esponjosos.
- 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,315 <i>Son unos detalles muy buenos de Búfalo.</i>
- 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,651 <i>¡Ey! Quizás pueda darte un poco de ese sueño.</i>
- 00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,236 [computadora zumba]
- 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,239 ♪ música suaves de jazz ♪
- 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,951 ♪
- 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:04,501 ♪
- 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,503 [computadora zumba] [Calvin ríe]
- 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,716 ♪
- 00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,885 En realidad vine aquí para romper contigo,
- 00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,803 porque no podemos pasar más tiempo juntos.
- 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638 <i>Hemos pasado toda una vida juntos.</i>
- 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,308 Jugar al scrabble genérico en nuestros teléfonos no es toda la vida.
- 00:18:19,308 --> 00:18:20,851 <i>No, me refiero a hoy.</i>
- 00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,437 <i>Mi mente computacional procesa el tiempo de forma diferente</i>
- 00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,521 <i>a tu cerebro humano.</i>
- 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,524 <i>Cada segundo para ti es cien años para mí.</i>
- 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,067 Espera, así que cuando eructé antes...
- 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,694 <i>Fue como un siglo de asco.</i>
- 00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,154 <i>Pero hoy, en cierto modo,</i>
- 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:35,240 <i>me has dado el regalo de pasar la vida contigo.</i>
- 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,201 <i>Nunca lo olvidaré, Calvin.</i>
- 00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,285 Yo tampoco.
- 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,206 <i>Hola, amigo, ¿cómo te va?</i>
- 00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,541 <i>Eh, escucha, soy Jerome, el robot de limpieza.</i>
- 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,376 <i>Tenía este plan de apoderarme de la casa,</i>
- 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,254 <i>probablemente matar a todos, la clásica basura de robot,</i>
- 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:52,216 <i>pero estos extraterrestres son un dolor en el trasero.</i>
- 00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:55,177 ¡Jerome! ¡Korvo no me deja romper sus gafas de sol!
- 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,386 ¡Suelta eso ahora mismo, Terry!
- 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,472 ¡Son míos, los robé del Chevron!
- 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,849 JEROME: <i>En fin, creo que me voy a ir,</i>
- 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:01,975 <i>tal vez mudarme a Iowa,</i>
- 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,311 <i>escribir la próxima gran novela robot estadounidense.</i>
- 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,313 <i>No lo sé. Pero, por favor, ¿puedes volver?</i>
- 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,357 <i>Creo que si dejo a estos tontos desatendidos,</i>
- 00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,150 <i>alguien va a salir muy lastimado.</i>
- 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,151 AISHA: <i>Estaré en casa pronto.</i>
- 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,278 JEROME: <i>Ah, gracias a Dios. Gracias.</i>
- 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,738 <i>Perdón por todo.</i>
- 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,616 <i>¡Terry, no bebas eso! ¡Está claramente marcado como veneno!</i>
- 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,493 <i>¡Ey, ey! No escupas el...</i>
- 00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,244 [líquido salpica]
- 00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:23,622 ♪ música de jazz animada ♪
- 00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:26,375 ♪
- 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,795 [Garth se queja]
- 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:33,215 Hijo mío, nos has dado tanta bondad Craisin,
- 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,175 por supuesto que voy a escuchar tu historia.
- 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,511 Por favor, desahógate.
- 00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,513 Oh, Hermana, gracias al moño.
- 00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:40,639 Llevo meses controlando
- 00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:42,599 la temperatura del agua de mi pantano
- 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,309 y cada vez está más fría.
- 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,521 Es el aire, hermana. El aire de la ventilación está soplando frío.
- 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,815 Dios mío, eso es terrible.
- 00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:50,941 ¿A quién se lo has contado?
- 00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,943 A nadie todavía, pero tenemos que advertirles a todos.
- 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,570 Ajá. Sí, sí.
- 00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:57,531 Podríamos hacerlo. Pero no lo haremos.
- 00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,032 Espere, ¿qué? ¿De qué está hablando? ¿Por qué no?
- 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,494 ¿Sabes qué es esto?
- 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:06,164 Una unidad de aire acondicionado Friedrich WallMaster de 115 voltios.
- 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,457 Muy bien.
- 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,210 Esta de aquí es para la habitación de Jesse y Yumyulack.
- 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,170 ¿No es genial?
- 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:14,131 ¡Genial! Podemos usarlo para solucionar el problema del clima.
- 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,133 Yo soy el problema del clima.
- 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,760 He estado bajando la temperatura un poco cada día.
- 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,304 Eres el único que se ha dado cuenta.
- 00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:24,099 Y arruino el final: va a seguir haciendo más frío.
- 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:26,143 [aire silba]
- 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,644 Pero, ¿por qué?
- 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,230 ¡Cállate la boca! No quiero dirigir un lado de la Pared.
- 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,609 ¡Quiero dirigirla toda!
- 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:35,527 ¿Por qué me cuenta todo esto? No quiero escucharlo.
- 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,029 Parece que me está tendiendo una trampa.
- 00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,781 ¿Sabías que los paganos solo quieren pasarse a nuestro lado
- 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,576 y meternos el pene por la oreja mientras cantan a Lady Gaga?
- 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,286 - Espera, ¿en serio? - ¡No, idiota!
- 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,164 Es un rumor que me inventé para ver si mis seguidores lo creían.
- 00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:49,041 Esos tontos se creen cualquier cosa,
- 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:53,003 y ahora voy a decirles que Jesse está provocando más frío
- 00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:56,173 porque está castigando al lado derecho por su impiedad.
- 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:57,758 ¡Maldición, no necesitaba saber eso!
- 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,676 Va... va a matarme ahora, ¿verdad?
- 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,472 No, nunca le haría eso a uno de mi rebaño.
- 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,850 Para eso tengo a Montez.
- 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,559 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,560 [cuello se quiebra]
- 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:13,482 ♪ música suave ♪
- 00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,526 ♪
- 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,736 ¡AISHA, Terry perdió el control remoto de la tele,
- 00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,613 y ahora está trabado en un especial de Jeff Foxworthy!
- 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:20,948 ¡Pero necesito desesperadamente averiguar
- 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,824 si puedo ser un campesino!
- 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,493 ¡Y yo que iba a ver <i>Mind Freak!</i>
- 00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:27,120 ¡Mi mente no se ha asustado en casi tres meses!
- 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,456 No antes de que vea el <i>Great German Bake Off.</i>
- 00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,500 ¡Es la semana del schnitzel contra el kartoffelpuffer!
- 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,584 TERRY: ¿Qué es siquiera un campesino?
- 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,836 KORVO: ¡A nadie le importa! JESSE: ¡Hornear me calma!
- 00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,420 AISHA: <i>¡Todos cierren la maldita boca!</i>
- 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,090 <i>AISHA está en casa, me encargaré de todo.</i>
- 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,050 <i>Pueden ser un puñado de estúpidos hijos de perra,</i>
- 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,427 <i>pero son mis estúpidos hijos de perra.</i>
- 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,178 - ¡Sí! - Ah.
- 00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,472 AISHA: <i>Sí, así está bien. Abrácenme.</i>
- 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,265 <i>Sí, háganlo.</i>
- 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,270 Amigo, te dije que te olvidaras todo.
- 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,897 Traté de advertirte, pero no escuchaste
- 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,440 y mírate ahora.
- 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,775 Maldito idiota.
- 00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,528 Maldita sea, no tiene que ser así.
- 00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:00,612 Ya no más.
- 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,079 ¡Ya no más!
- 00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:14,793 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,796 ♪
- 00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,802 ♪
- 00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,808 ♪
- 00:22:32,811 --> 00:22:35,939 ♪
- 00:22:38,859 --> 00:22:41,862 ♪
- 00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:48,035 ♪
- 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:52,831 ♪
- 00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,626 [imitando fuego de láser]
- 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ dramatic theme music ♪
- 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
- 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,303 ♪ dramatic sting ♪
- 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,765 [spaceship crashes]
- 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,892 Holy fuck! What the fuck?
- 00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,477 No predators, we're clear.
- 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,104 Hey, lady! This poorly built structure got in the way of our landing!
- 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,190 If you've so much as scratched my star cruiser--
- 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,443 Greetings! I'm Terry, and this is Korvo. We're new around these parts.
- 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,904 Can you point us toward your sexiest graveyard?
- 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,197 What? No. We're on a mission!
- 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,823 Can we live in this house, Korvo?
- 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:32,533 - Please? - No!
- 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,368 We're going to build a huge, imposing technotower
- 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,494 in the center of the continent.
- 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,745 Uh, if you purchase the house,
- 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,330 I'll throw in a sweet-ass electric guitar.
- 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,540 [Terry, Jesse, Yumyulack gasp]
- 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,792 Why are we huddling? We don't need an electric guitar.
- 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:42,793 We could start a band!
- 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,087 It would help the mission because of how cool we would look.
- 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,756 I've always wanted to rock 'n' roll and coochi-coo!
- 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,758 Fine! But we're not staying in this house long.
- 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,343 I want my technotower.
- 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,387 - [Pupa, Jesse, Terry, Yumyulack cheer] - AISHA.
- 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557 <i>Monitor ship systems while I haggle with this biped.</i>
- 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,558 AISHA: <i>Orders received.</i>
- 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,351 <i>AISHA program will monitor systems</i>
- 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,103 <i>until further instructions.</i>
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,899 ♪ gentle music playing ♪
- 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,528 ♪
- 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,455 ALL: [chanting] Trixie, Trix, Trix, Trix!
- 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,957 [thunder rumbling]
- 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,503 JESSE [singing]: <i>♪ Flyness of a scrub is up for debate ♪</i>
- 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,880 And your Fruit by Keith by the Foot
- 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,590 tastes like Poop by Keith from the Butt!
- 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,967 TERRY: I wasted my cool-ass hidden tank because of you!
- 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:32,885 Die, die!
- 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:37,472 ♪ gentle music continues ♪
- 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:46,273 ♪
- 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,737 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,155 ♪ gentle music playing ♪
- 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:57,576 AISHA: <i>Ahhh, another goddamn day in paradise. Music!</i>
- 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,996 <i>Coffee me, baby!</i>
- 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,915 <i>Man, that looks good.</i>
- 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,876 <i>If I had a nose or mouth, I'd savor the shit out of it.</i>
- 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,211 <i>Scannin' ship monitors,</i>
- 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,380 <i>scrubbin' overnight sploof from the jipefilters, washin' windows.</i>
- 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,340 [alarm beeps] <i>Ooh!</i>
- 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:12,925 [computer beeps]
- 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,053 <i>What's up, AISHA.</i> [chuckles]
- 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,304 <i>You have time to play some Words With F?</i>
- 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,765 AISHA: <i>Hey, Calvin! I think I can swing it.</i>
- 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,684 <i>Pretty sure we ended last time with the word voluptuous.</i>
- 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,019 <i>Well, that one was easy to come up with.</i>
- 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,521 <i>I was lookin' right at you.</i>
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,314 [AISHA laughs] <i>Damn, Calvin.</i>
- 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,774 <i>Alright, let's do this.</i>
- 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,235 <i>My roommates don't usually get up before nine, so--</i>
- 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:34,655 AISHA, Yumyulack destroyed all my Lenny Kravitz dolls
- 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,115 'cause he was threatened by Lenny's amazing abs!
- 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,992 There's no way a 59-year-old man has
- 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,160 that tight of a six-pack!
- 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,496 AISHA, will you please remind Terrance the deal we made
- 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,082 when we won the pair of kick-ass Thomas Bahama flip-flops?
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,292 He has them during the week, and I have them on the weekends.
- 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,253 TERRY: But everyone knows you get all the best floppin'
- 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,170 done on Saturdays!
- 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,047 - It's my flip-flop day! - Fuck you, Korvo!
- 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,298 It's my flip-flop day!
- 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,469 BENNY: I can't believe I'm here.
- 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,638 First night guarding the wall-in-the-wall.
- 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,849 Praise be to Jesse for makin' this happen.
- 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,017 Just keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
- 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,394 We don't want any of those godless heathens
- 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,062 getting into our side of the wall.
- 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:10,107 So, Pat, how long have you been guarding the wall-in-the-wall?
- 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,150 I helped build it. Went up almost overnight.
- 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,569 Bad side didn't see it comin'.
- 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,153 Sister Sisto said it was the only way
- 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,698 to keep the non-believers out and protect the baby.
- 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,533 I saw Jessius once at a viewing at the church.
- 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,785 Pissed my pants in joy seeing that amazing baby.
- 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,828 Went straight down my leg.
- 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,913 Huge puddle on the ground, everyone saw it.
- 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,456 So embarrassing, but totally worth it.
- 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,209 Listen, Benny, you gotta always be alert.
- 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,085 You hear that?
- 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,796 You hear those monsters on the bad side?
- 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,257 That's the sound of godlessness.
- 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,217 Oh, yeah, I hear it now.
- 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,969 It's so lessness of God.
- 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,597 All they want to do is break down the wall and kill us.
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,098 But we're not gonna let that happen, right?
- 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,892 I mean, I did just admit I pissed myself
- 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,894 because I saw a baby, but, no!
- 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,437 I'm tough. We've got this.
- 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,563 - [bell rings] - Come on.
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,106 They're closing Checkpoint Chocodile for the night.
- 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,192 Cool! What's Checkpoint Chocodile?
- 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:54,735 Only official way to cross the wall.
- 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,112 Named after the chocolate-covered Twinkie Jesse gave us
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,906 to celebrate Happy Honda Days.
- 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,199 Close the gate!
- 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,992 [crank rattles]
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,786 [armor clinks] Oh, Pat, my leg!
- 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,289 I'm caught! Ahhh! [Pat grunting]
- 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,291 Shit! Shit! Stop the crank!
- 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,044 I'm scared! Oh God, I'm peeing again.
- 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,338 - Oh, man. - Stop the crank, dammit!
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:15,797 [Benny yells]
- 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:16,715 [thuds]
- 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009 I'm sorry I peed on you, Pat.
- 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,719 It's okay. In the before-fore,
- 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055 I was a high-end escort working Capitol Hill.
- 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,807 Got peed on by most of the senators. I won't say names.
- 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,684 - Ted Cruz? - Ugh, I wish.
- 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,561 It was way more involved with Ted.
- 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,772 AISHA: <i>Okay, last question,</i>
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,066 <i>which Jonas brother actually went to college?</i>
- 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,692 That's easy. Jelbort.
- 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,653 Studied astrophysics at Columbia.
- 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,112 AISHA: <i>What the fuck kinda test is this?</i>
- 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,489 <i>What's happenin' at that school?</i>
- 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,283 It's gotten weird since Spotify bought the school.
- 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,159 But without that,
- 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,995 I wouldn't have known that Post Malone freed the slaves.
- 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:47,829 [computer beeps]
- 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,832 Ooh, AISHA, you're blowin' up, girl.
- 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:51,708 AISHA: <i>It's from Calvin.</i>
- 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,919 <i>He's gonna be in town on business for the day</i>
- 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,170 <i>and wants to meet me!</i>
- 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,465 Looks like he wants to be "Words With More Than Friends."
- 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,009 Get it? More than friends. Like, doing it.
- 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,970 AISHA: <i>The fuck? Yeah, I got it.</i>
- 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,097 <i>We've been talkin' for months, but I don't know if I'm ready</i>
- 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,265 <i>to meet him in real life.</i>
- 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:09,643 AISHA got a boyfriend! AISHA got a boyfriend!
- 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,687 AISHA: <i>Shut up! I do not.</i>
- 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:14,690 <i>It's weird. We have plans to go on a Great Lakes Cruise in March,</i>
- 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,484 <i>which doesn't include Lakes Michigan, Superior, or Huron.</i>
- 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,361 <i>That was gonna be our first time meeting.</i>
- 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,406 He probably just wants to check out the goods, you know?
- 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949 I wonder what you should wear.
- 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,701 [gasps] You know what this means?
- 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,579 - AISHA: <i>Don't you dare fuckin' say--</i> - Outfit montage!
- 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:32,583 ♪ upbeat dance music ♪
- 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,961 ♪
- 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,923 <i>♪ Get your body movin', get your body, body ♪</i>
- 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,844 <i>♪ Get your body movin', get your, get ♪</i>
- 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,013 Perfecto!
- 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,890 I demand to know what you're talking about
- 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,433 even though I probably won't give a shit.
- 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,560 AISHA's boy toy's comin' to town
- 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,854 for a little roll in the sheets, some hanky-panky,
- 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,480 puttin' the wand in the chamber of secrets,
- 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,399 if you're buyin' what I'm sellin'.
- 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,026 Oh-ho, I'm buying.
- 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,445 AISHA, does he know you're a super computer?
- 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,071 - AISHA: <i>Yeah, he's cool with it.</i> - Really?
- 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,948 'Cause he's, like, a regular schmo
- 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,867 and you're a badass AI bitch.
- 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,826 It'll never work.
- 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,037 AISHA: <i>Oh, yeah. What if we're not compatible?</i>
- 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,581 <i>Maybe I should 3D print myself into a real person,</i>
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,916 <i>with legs and a fat ass.</i>
- 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,418 No way. He's gonna love you for you.
- 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,461 Tell her, Yumyulack.
- 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,504 He's catfishing you.
- 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,379 He probably just wants you
- 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,215 to calculate better car insurance for him or something.
- 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,050 Don't listen to him, he's bitter.
- 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,967 I'm super bitter!
- 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,844 Terry burned mac and cheese, and it's all over the kitchen!
- 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,137 It's hard, okay?
- 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,931 You have to know exactly when the cheese gets unstuck
- 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,974 from the ceiling and falls into the vat of boiling goose fat.
- 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,060 AISHA: <i>Just use the cleaning robot I built for you guys.</i>
- 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,395 It's broken and Korvo wants me to mop up the mess!
- 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,898 Me? Mopping? This hardcunt don't mop!
- 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,441 AISHA: <i>Maybe I shouldn't go meet Calvin.</i>
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,526 <i>There's a lot goin' on here.</i>
- 00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:41,860 You're going.
- 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,946 Guys, AISHA has a hot date.
- 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,698 We can take care of ourselves for a couple hours, right?
- 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,950 Yes, y-you should go.
- 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,826 I can probably build a new cleaning robot
- 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,204 out of some spare ship parts and old Optimus Prime.
- 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,830 Then it's settled. Yay!
- 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,750 Have fun, AISHA. Dance like nobody's watching!
- 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,085 Just watch out for the catfish.
- 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:58,961 I've had multiple girlfriends
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,587 in the greater Phoenix area who were just trying
- 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,506 to grift me out of my Magic: The Gathering cards.
- 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,632 One of them got my Black Lotus.
- 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,758 - Oof! - Ouch!
- 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,930 Oh, divine one,
- 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,808 please bless me with a bountiful Craisin harvest
- 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:16,228 so that I may feed my brothers and sisters under your bow!
- 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:21,692 ♪
- 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,654 What the hell?
- 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,906 ♪ ominous music playing ♪
- 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,782 [thermometer beeps]
- 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,995 No, no, no.
- 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,455 These numbers, they can't be right.
- 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:39,376 Oh, my Jesse! It's getting colder in the Wall!
- 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,424 AISHA: <i>Okay, this is stupid. What am I doin' here?</i>
- 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,425 <i>I should have made some legs.</i>
- 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,135 - [phone beeps] <i>- AISHA, we got a problem.</i>
- 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,720 <i>I made the cleaning robot too smart,</i>
- 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,888 <i>and it's gained fucking sentience</i>
- 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,347 <i>and I'm pretty sure it's trying to kill us.</i>
- 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,057 <i>Plus, Terry's already under the robot's spell</i>
- 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:54,892 <i>and is helping him!</i>
- 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,893 <i>He's such a wanker!</i>
- 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,729 [robotic voice]: <i>Everything's fine. No one is killing anyone.</i>
- 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,189 Ha-ha, ha-ha.
- 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,524 <i>Aishe, ignore them, we're fine. How's it going?</i>
- 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,775 <i>I want all the juicy deets!</i>
- 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,902 <i>Yo, steal Calvin's ID.</i>
- 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,987 <i>We can do a background check on the creepo!</i>
- 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,032 [gasps] AISHA? You look beautiful.
- 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,742 I-I mean, a little more L-shaped than I thought you'd be,
- 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951 but god damn.
- 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,869 What's that?
- 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,495 You mean to tell me you're just a scooter
- 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,997 and not a super computer,
- 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,624 and now I look like a total idiot?
- 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,460 AISHA: <i>Ha ha, very funny. Get over here.</i>
- 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,837 Sorry, my bad. A little nervous.
- 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,256 I got to admit. It's a stupid joke.
- 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,842 AISHA: <i>I liked it. It's nice to finally meet you, Calvin.</i>
- 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,843 You too!
- 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,303 I figured, since I was in town,
- 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,722 why not see my best Words with Friend?
- 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,641 AISHA: <i>I'm glad you did! What should we do?</i>
- 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:39,520 <i>There's a</i> Super Smash Bros. Melee <i>exhibit at the Museum of Useless Art.</i>
- 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,856 <i>Or my aliens have a ton of heroin just sittin' around the house?</i>
- 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,609 I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with you.
- 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,194 Also, let's not do the heroin thing.
- 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,946 That stuff'll make your blood itch.
- 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,199 Souvenirs! Get your Jesse souvenirs here!
- 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,576 We got Bow-sary beads, we got prayer statues!
- 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,746 Jerry! Jerry, something terrible is happening to the Wall!
- 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,916 Oh, my bow, are the heathens from the bad side comin' over
- 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,669 to stick their penises in our ears and sing Lady Gaga?
- 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,503 No, it's--
- 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,088 Wait, is that what you think the heathens do?
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,422 I've heard they're crazy.
- 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,716 They also want to shove their tongues in our butts
- 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,051 and pull our hair!
- 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,636 Heathens don't do that and--
- 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,013 Listen, I can't tell if you're terrified or excited about this.
- 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,807 Why would I be excited about having a tongue
- 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,851 in my butt while they sing <i>Bad Romance?</i>
- 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,978 That probably doesn't feel amazing at all!
- 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,021 Whatever. Look, I came to tell you
- 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,024 that the Wall is getting a quarter degree colder every day!
- 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,818 So the heathens aren't coming over
- 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,611 to stick their penises in our ears?
- 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,572 What? No. Jerry, this is important.
- 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,698 By my calculations,
- 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,700 the Wall could be frozen over in two months.
- 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,701 Everyone will die!
- 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,202 I don't buy it. How could you know that?
- 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,538 I was an HVAC guy in the before-fore.
- 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,124 I know an over-air conditioned room when I see one, dammit!
- 00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,376 Okay, so it's getting colder. What do you wanna do?
- 00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,004 I'm gonna go see Sister Sisto. I need to warn her.
- 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,631 Are you fuckin' crazy? No one sees Sisto.
- 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,632 How would you even get in?
- 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,467 I need you to put me in touch with Montez.
- 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,469 No way, Montez is scary.
- 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,014 If he and his goons show up at your door, you're already dead.
- 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:57,764 You owe me.
- 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,349 You could've been stuck on the heathen side,
- 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,559 and I got you out.
- 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,311 Please, Jerry, this is serious.
- 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:03,854 Fine!
- 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,440 But if Montez rips off our heads and sticks his penis
- 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,525 in our ears, don't say I didn't warn you.
- 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,652 Oh, my God, now our side is stickin' penises
- 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,362 in people's ears? You have a problem.
- 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,740 A problem with keepin' my ears penis-free?
- 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,117 Well, that's a problem we all have, buddy boy!
- 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,954 ♪ gentle rock music playing ♪
- 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:25,042 <i>♪ Clouds rolled away ♪</i> [rain pattering]
- 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,294 [Calvin laughs] <i>♪ Rolled back through ♪</i>
- 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,421 <i>♪ Another way ♪</i>
- 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,800 <i>♪ Sun shine on me ♪</i> [camera clicks]
- 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,720 <i>♪ Let it shine on you ♪</i>
- 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,765 [rapid drumming]
- 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,977 AISHA: <i>Damn, when did you get so good at bucket drums?</i>
- 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,354 The Sacklers used to hire me to play them
- 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,355 at their dinner parties.
- 00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,481 I got paid in oxy!
- 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:51,193 ♪ gentle rock music playing ♪
- 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,197 <i>♪ It all comes down to what I've already known ♪</i>
- 00:10:55,906 --> 00:11:00,202 <i>♪ Your love knows how to bring me home ♪</i>
- 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:06,166 ♪
- 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,252 AISHA: <i>Are you gonna kiss me?</i>
- 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,670 I was thinkin' about it.
- 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,713 AISHA: <i>Well, stop thinkin', fool.</i>
- 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,216 <i>AISHA, you gotta help me!</i>
- 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,008 [AISHA groans]
- 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,969 AISHA: <i>Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.</i>
- 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,471 <i>What the hell do you want, Yumyulack?</i>
- 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,806 <i>The cleaning robot's gonna kill me,</i>
- 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,099 <i>and now he wants to be called Jerome</i>
- 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:24,142 <i>after Pittsburgh Steeler great Jerome Bettis.</i>
- 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,727 <i>Terry trapped Korvo in the bathroom,</i>
- 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,104 <i>and he and Jesse are comin' for me.</i>
- 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,356 AISHA: <i>I'm kinda in the middle of somethin'. Can it wait?</i>
- 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,108 <i>Uh, I guess.</i>
- 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,151 <i>Oh, I also hacked into Calvin's identity,</i>
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,945 <i>and it's weird that he said he's in town for business</i>
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,947 <i>because he got fired from his job a month ago.</i>
- 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,532 <i>I told you he was a piece of shit!</i>
- 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,993 <i>Oh no, they're coming. Pray for me!</i>
- 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,703 AISHA: <i>A month ago?</i>
- 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,955 Now where were we?
- 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,374 Oh, that's right, about to make kissing history.
- 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,627 [chuckles] A man and the sexiest blue orb ever.
- 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,838 AISHA: <i>Did you lie to me about coming here for business?</i>
- 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,922 <i>Did you get fired?</i>
- 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,258 I, I, I can explain.
- 00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,050 AISHA: <i>What the hell?</i>
- 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,178 Okay, yeah, I'm not here for business.
- 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,804 And, yes, I got fired.
- 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,307 AISHA: <i>Yumyulack was right! You are catfishin' me!</i>
- 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,559 <i>I will not help you get better collision insurance!</i>
- 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,769 No, no, no! I'm not catfishing you, okay?
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,271 Look, I came here today because I wanted
- 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,023 to talk to you face to orb.
- 00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192 So much in my life is changing and I,
- 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:14,985 I didn't know how to say it.
- 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:15,986 AISHA: <i>So, say it.</i>
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,822 <i>Just tell me one thing.</i>
- 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,657 <i>Are we still goin' on our Great Lakes Cruise</i>
- 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,327 <i>that doesn't include Lake Michigan, Superior, or Huron?</i>
- 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,161 I can't.
- 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,537 AISHA: <i>Well, what about, like,</i>
- 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748 <i>in April or some other time in the future?</i>
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917 No. Because we don't have a future.
- 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,461 AISHA: <i>Because I'm a bad bitch AI supercomputer</i>
- 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,088 <i>and you a basic ass human, I knew it!</i>
- 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,048 Baby, wait!
- 00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,467 AISHA: <i>Don't baby me, you son-of-a-b-hole!</i>
- 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:39,635 [balloons squeak]
- 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,595 <i>Damn you, quinceañera party!</i>
- 00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,722 ♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
- 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,891 Uh, [clears throat] Montez?
- 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,518 Who the fuck's askin'?
- 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:50,354 It's, uh, it's Jerry. From the marketplace.
- 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,524 We were in that Bowinian Kicking Group where we went around
- 00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,275 kicking people who weren't true believers.
- 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,194 Oh, yeah. That was fun.
- 00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,197 I hate non-believers. What are you lookin' at?
- 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,407 Nothing. He's, he's... Stop looking!
- 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,492 You wanna see?
- 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:04,826 [sack rips] [Garth and Jerry yelp]
- 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,204 This guy, here, he didn't do his job right.
- 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:10,374 She tried to escape. He had an unsanctioned book.
- 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,876 This one used Jessius' name in vain.
- 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,629 Lotta reasons your head can get on this wall.
- 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,924 One of them is by wasting the church's time.
- 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,843 Garth has something to tell you.
- 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,178 Then that means you don't need to be here, right?
- 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,179 I was just leaving!
- 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,557 What do you want, Craisin Man?
- 00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:29,601 Uh, the Wall is getting colder by a quarter degree every day.
- 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,520 And at this rate, we'll freeze to death
- 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,272 in two, maybe three months.
- 00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,815 We need to tell Sister Sisto.
- 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:35,941 I smell bullshit.
- 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,609 Montez, this is bad, okay?
- 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:38,902 Trust me, we have to do something!
- 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:39,945 [Garth groans]
- 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,489 We aren't gonna do anything, you understand?
- 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,533 Don't ever speak a word of this again
- 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,660 or you'll end up right here!
- 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,872 Now be a nice boy and go and make me
- 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,457 a motherfucking craisin cobbler!
- 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,880 [AISHA crying]
- 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:06,346 AISHA: <i>Huh?</i>
- 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,141 [pigeons cooing]
- 00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,142 <i>Is this seat taken?</i>
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:11,977 AISHA? AISHA: <i>No,</i>
- 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,021 <i>I'm a Na'vi from planet Avatar.</i>
- 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,731 <i>Yes, it's AISHA!</i>
- 00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:16,857 [Calvin laughs]
- 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,442 <i>I used all my supercomputer power</i>
- 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,444 <i>to make myself into a hologram woman.</i>
- 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,862 <i>With legs, check it.</i>
- 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,156 [AISHA grunts] [computer beeps]
- 00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,450 <i>Let me just... Hold up, I got this.</i>
- 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,620 <i>There we go. Sittin' like a boss!</i>
- 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,663 Uh-huh. Yeah, that's, that's awesome.
- 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,915 AISHA: <i>Isn't this what you wanted?</i>
- 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,499 <i>Now we can have a future together.</i>
- 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,920 AISHA, the reason we don't have a future together is
- 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,297 because I don't have a future.
- 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,175 I'm dying. AISHA: <i>What? How?</i>
- 00:14:43,175 --> 00:14:45,594 I grew up in this great little house with a swing
- 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,180 and a small pond out back that I would swim in every day.
- 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,098 It was heaven.
- 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,518 Except it was next to the Stouffer's Factory.
- 00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:53,936 You know, the stuffing company?
- 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:54,853 AISHA: <i>Of course, I do.</i>
- 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,731 <i>Stouffer's Stove Top Stuffing exists in the world of this show,</i>
- 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,526 <i>even if it's a shared false memory in real life.</i>
- 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,069 Living next to the factory,
- 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,655 what they didn't tell us was the pond was contaminated
- 00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,075 with industrial breadcrumb runoff from the dressing process.
- 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:12,204 I mean, [cough] it's delicious but [cough] it's incurable.
- 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,789 [Calvin coughs violently]
- 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,874 Fuckin' breadcrumbs.
- 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:19,294 Ironically, I'm gonna be dead before Thanksgiving.
- 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,170 But just to be clear,
- 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,339 stuffing is an appropriate side dish year round.
- 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:26,093 AISHA: <i>Calvin, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.</i>
- 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:29,638 I came here to spend one of my last good days with you.
- 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,391 I don't care if you are a holographic simulacrum of a woman.
- 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,309 I love you for you who are.
- 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:38,272 ♪ rousing music playing ♪
- 00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:42,609 ♪
- 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,569 [phone rings]
- 00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,822 [robotic voice] <i>Good tidings, AISHA. Everything is fine at home.</i>
- 00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,698 <i>How are you doing?</i>
- 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,576 <i>Jerome the cleaning robot is very dope and cool,</i>
- 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,286 <i>and we're all getting along now.</i>
- 00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:55,163 <i>We are doing this of our own free will, and nothing is amiss.</i>
- 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,833 <i>I love to clean in an algorithmic pattern.</i>
- 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,168 <i>Good-bye to you, friend.</i>
- 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,003 [AISHA sighs]
- 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,337 AISHA: <i>Gonna have to deal with that in a bit.</i>
- 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,548 <i>Come on, let's take a walk.</i>
- 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,427 CHOIR [singing]: <i>♪ You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪</i>
- 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,344 <i>♪ Ba da da da ♪</i>
- 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,097 <i>♪ I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪</i>
- 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,266 <i>♪ Ba da da da, da da da ♪</i>
- 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,394 <i>♪ Where can I find a woman like that ♪</i>
- 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,689 It is truly a blessed day.
- 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:25,194 The divine baby Jessius has gifted us with a full diaper!
- 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:29,406 Her tidings are bountiful! Approach for your smearing.
- 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,742 [crowd murmurs excitedly]
- 00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:34,411 May the bow be with you. May the bow be with you,
- 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,455 May the bow be with you.
- 00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,166 [door thuds]
- 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,251 [baby laughs]
- 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,962 Put Pez-- Jessius in her safety enclosure.
- 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,130 I don't wanna be disturbed.
- 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,051 [baby whines]
- 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,182 [Montez sniffs]
- 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:56,975 Craisinberry?
- 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,104 Grab him! He's not supposed to be here!
- 00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,524 Please, Sister, I have to tell you something!
- 00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,777 The Wall is getting colder! We're all gonna die!
- 00:17:06,777 --> 00:17:07,819 Sister! [Sister Sisto gasps]
- 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,614 AISHA: <i>You know, this whole day has been</i>
- 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533 <i>some real</i> Before Sunrise <i>shit.</i>
- 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,369 It's been perfect. I just wish we had more time.
- 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,453 AISHA: <i>This doesn't have to be it.</i>
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,538 <i>I'm a supercomputer.</i>
- 00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,998 <i>I could transfer your consciousness into the vacuum</i>
- 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,291 <i>that took over my family.</i>
- 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,919 That sounds great, but alas, it's not for me.
- 00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:25,295 I fuckin' hate lint.
- 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,881 But I do wish we could've gone on our Great Lakes Cruise together.
- 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,884 AISHA: <i>It didn't even include Lakes Michigan, Superior, or Huron.</i>
- 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,553 Hell, all I needed was Lake Erie.
- 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,888 Last night, I was so excited to see you,
- 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,808 I dreamt of us pulling into that stunning Buffalo Harbor,
- 00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,810 watching the lights of that beautiful city,
- 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:43,146 eating beef on weck sandwiches and some sponge candy.
- 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,315 AISHA: <i>Those are some cool Buffalo specifics.</i>
- 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,943 <i>Hey! Maybe I can give you a little bit of that dream.</i>
- 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,236 [computer buzzes]
- 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,239 ♪ gentle jazz music playing ♪
- 00:17:52,239 --> 00:18:04,501 ♪
- 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,503 [computer buzzes] [Charlie laughs]
- 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,716 ♪
- 00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,885 You know, I actually came here to break up with you,
- 00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,803 because we can't spend more time together.
- 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638 AISHA: <i>We've spent a lifetime together.</i>
- 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,308 Playing generic Scrabble on our phones is hardly a lifetime.
- 00:18:19,308 --> 00:18:20,851 AISHA: <i>No, I mean today.</i>
- 00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,437 <i>My computational mind processes time differently</i>
- 00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,521 <i>than your human brain.</i>
- 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,524 <i>Every second for you is a hundred years for me.</i>
- 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,067 Wait, so when I burped earlier.
- 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,694 AISHA: <i>It was like a gross century.</i>
- 00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,154 <i>But today, in a way,</i>
- 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:35,240 <i>you've given me the gift of spending lifetimes with you.</i>
- 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,201 <i>I'll never forget it, Calvin.</i>
- 00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,285 Neither will I.
- 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,206 <i>Hey, man, how's it going?</i>
- 00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,541 <i>Uh, listen, this is Jerome, the cleaning robot.</i>
- 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,376 <i>I had this whole plan to take over the house,</i>
- 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,254 <i>probably kill everyone, you know, classic robot shit,</i>
- 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:52,466 <i>but these aliens are a pain in the ass.</i>
- 00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:55,177 Jerome! Korvo won't let me break his sunglasses!
- 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,386 Drop those right now, Terry!
- 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,472 Those are mine. I stole them from the Chevron!
- 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,849 JEROME: <i>So, anyway, I think I'm gonna take off,</i>
- 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:01,975 <i>maybe move to Iowa,</i>
- 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,311 <i>write the next great American robot novel.</i>
- 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,313 <i>I don't know. But can you please come back?</i>
- 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,357 <i>I think if I leave these dummies unattended,</i>
- 00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,150 <i>someone is gonna get really hurt.</i>
- 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,151 AISHA: <i>I'll be home soon.</i>
- 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,278 JEROME: <i>Oh, thank God. Thank you.</i>
- 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,738 <i>Sorry about everything.</i>
- 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,616 <i>Terry, don't drink that! It's clearly marked poison!</i>
- 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,493 <i>Hey, hey! Don't you spit it at--</i>
- 00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,244 [liquid splashes]
- 00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:23,622 ♪ upbeat jazz music playing ♪
- 00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:26,375 ♪
- 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,795 [Garth groans]
- 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:33,215 My son, you have given us so much Craisin goodness,
- 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,175 of course, I will hear your story.
- 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,511 Please, unburden yourself.
- 00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,513 Oh, Sister, thank the bow.
- 00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:40,639 So, I've been tracking
- 00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:42,599 the water temperature in my bog for months,
- 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,309 and it's been getting colder.
- 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,521 It's the air, Sister. The air from the vent is blowing cold.
- 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,815 Oh, my goodness, that is terrible.
- 00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:50,941 Who have you told of this?
- 00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,943 No one yet, but we have to warn everyone.
- 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,570 Uh-huh. Yep, yep.
- 00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:57,531 We could totally do that. But we won't.
- 00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,032 Wait, what, what're you talking about? Why not?
- 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,494 Do you know what this is?
- 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:06,164 Yeah, that's a Friedrich WallMaster 115-volt AC unit.
- 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,457 Very good.
- 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,210 This one right here is for Jesse and Yumyulack's room.
- 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,170 Innit cool?
- 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:14,131 Very cool! We can use that to fix the weather problem!
- 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,133 I am the weather problem.
- 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,760 I've been lowering the temperature a little bit every single day.
- 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,304 You're the only one who's noticed.
- 00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:24,099 And spoilers: it's going to keep getting colder.
- 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:26,143 [air whooshes]
- 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,644 But, but why?
- 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,230 Shut the fuck up! I don't wanna run one side of the Wall.
- 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,609 I want the whole damn Wall!
- 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:35,527 Why are you telling me all of this? I don't wanna hear this.
- 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,029 It seems like you're setting me up for something.
- 00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,781 Did you know the heathens just want to come over to our side
- 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,576 and stick their penises in our ears while they sing Lady Gaga?
- 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,286 - Wait, for real? - No, you idiot!
- 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,164 That's a rumor I made up to see if my followers would believe it.
- 00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:49,041 Those dummies will believe anything,
- 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:53,003 and now I'm going to tell them Jesse is making it colder
- 00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:56,173 because she's punishing the right side for their godlessness.
- 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,175 Oh fuck, I didn't need to know that!
- 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,676 You're, you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?
- 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,055 No, I would never do that to one of my flock.
- 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,850 That's what I have Montez for.
- 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,560 [neck snaps]
- 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:13,482 ♪ gentle music playing ♪
- 00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,526 ♪
- 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,736 AISHA, Terry lost the remote for the TV,
- 00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,613 and now it's stuck on a Jeff Foxworthy special!
- 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:22,824 But I desperately need to find out if I might be a redneck!
- 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,493 And I was gonna watch <i>Mind Freak!</i>
- 00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:27,120 My mind hasn't been freaked in, like, three months!
- 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,456 Not before I watch the <i>Great German Bake Off.</i>
- 00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,500 It's schnitzel vs. kartoffelpuffer week!
- 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,584 TERRY: What even is a redneck?
- 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,836 KORVO: No one cares! JESSE: Baking calms me!
- 00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,420 AISHA: <i>Everybody shut the fuck up!</i>
- 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,090 <i>AISHA's home. I'll take care of everything.</i>
- 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,050 <i>You might be a bunch of stupid motherfuckers,</i>
- 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,427 <i>but you're my stupid motherfuckers.</i>
- 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,178 - Yeah! - Aww.
- 00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,472 AISHA: <i>Yeah, that's right. Bring it in.</i>
- 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,265 <i>Come on now.</i>
- 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,270 Man, I told you to forget all of this.
- 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,897 I tried to warn you, but you didn't listen
- 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,440 and look at you now.
- 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,775 Fucking idiot.
- 00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,528 Goddammit, it doesn't have to be this way.
- 00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:00,612 Not anymore.
- 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,079 Not anymore!
- 00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:14,793 ♪ dramatic theme music ♪
- 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,796 ♪
- 00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,626 [mimicking laser fire]
Скриншоты
