Мобильный излучатель Аиши

00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005

UN ORIGINAL DE HULU

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♪

00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,303

HACE TIEMPO

00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,513

EN VENTA

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[nave espacial choca]

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¡Santo cielo! ¿Qué carajo fue eso?

00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,477

No hay depredadores, está despejado.

00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,104

¡Señora! ¡Esta estructura mal hecha

se interpuso en nuestro aterrizaje!

00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,190

Si ha arañado mi crucero estelar...

00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,443

¡Saludos! Soy Terry, y él es Korvo.

Somos nuevos en este barrio.

00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,904

¿Puede indicarnos

cuál es su cementerio más sexy?

00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,197

¿Cómo? No.

¡Estamos en una misión!

00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,823

¿Podemos vivir en esta casa, Korvo?

00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:32,533

- ¿Por favor?

- ¡No!

00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,368

Vamos a construir una enorme

e imponente tecnotorre

00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,494

en el centro del continente.

00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,745

Ah, si compran la casa,

00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,330

les daré

una guitarra eléctrica fantástica.

00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,540

[Terry, Jesse y Yumyulack suspiran]

00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,792

¿Por qué nos agrupamos?

No necesitamos una guitarra eléctrica.

00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:42,793

¡Podríamos formar una banda!

00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,087

Ayudaría a la misión

por lo genial que nos veríamos.

00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,756

¡Siempre he querido hacer

rock 'n' roll y cuchi-cu!

00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:48,382

¡Muy bien!

00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,758

Pero no nos quedaremos

mucho tiempo en esta casa,

00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,343

quiero mi tecnotorre.

00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,469

[Pupa, Jesse, Terry y Yumyulack vitorean]

00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,387

AISHA.

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Monitorea los sistemas de la nave

mientras regateo con este bípedo.

00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,558

AISHA:

Órdenes recibidas.

00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,351

El programa AISHA

controlará los sistemas

00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,103

hasta recibir instrucciones.

00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,899

♪ música tranquila ♪

00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,528

♪

00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:18,829

♪

00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,455

TODOS: [coreando]

¡Trucos, trucos, trucos, trucos!

00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,957

[tronando]

00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,503

♪ Se puede debatir

si un matorral es volador o no ♪

00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,880

¡Y tu Fruta de Keith por el Pie

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,590

sabe a Caca de Keith

por el Trasero!

00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,967

TERRY: ¡Desperdicié mi genial

tanque oculto por tu culpa!

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¡Muere, muere!

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♪ música tranquila continúa ♪

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♪

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♪

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AHORA

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♪ música tranquila ♪

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AISHA: Ahhh, otro maldito día

en el paraíso. ¡Música!

00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,996

¡Dame ese café, cariño!

00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,915

Vaya, eso se ve bien.

00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,876

Si tuviera nariz o boca,

lo saborearía al máximo.

00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,211

Escaneando monitores de la nave,

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fregando la suciedad nocturna

de los filtros, lavando las ventanas.

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[pitido de alarma]

¡Uh!

00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:12,925

LLAMADA DE CALVIN

00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,053

¿Cómo te va, AISHA?

[ríe]

00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,304

¿Tienes tiempo para jugar

a Palabras con F?

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AISHA:

¡Hola, Calvin! Creo que puedo.

00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,684

Estoy segura de que la última vez

terminamos con la palabra voluptuosa.

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Bueno, esa fue fácil

de inventar.

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Te estaba mirando a ti.

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[AISHA ríe]

00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,314

Demonios, Calvin.

00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,774

Muy bien, hagámoslo.

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Mis compañeros no suelen levantarse

antes de las nueve, así que...

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:34,655

¡AISHA, Yumyulack destruyó todos

mis muñecos de Lenny Kravitz

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porque se sentía amenazado

por sus increíbles abdominales!

00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,992

¡No hay forma

de que un hombre de 59 años

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tenga un abdomen tan marcado!

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AISHA, ¿podrías recordarle a Terrance

el trato que hicimos

00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,831

cuando ganamos el par

de chanclas Thomas Bahama?

00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,292

Él las tiene durante la semana,

y yo, los fines de semana.

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TERRY: ¡Pero todos saben

que los sábados

00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,170

son los mejores días para chanclas!

00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,047

- ¡Es mi día de chanclas!

- ¡Púdrete, Korvo!

00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,298

¡Es mi día de chanclas!

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BENNY:

No puedo creer que esté aquí.

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Primera noche

vigilando la pared en la pared.

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Alabada sea Jesse

por hacer que esto suceda.

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Solo mantén la boca cerrada

y los ojos abiertos.

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No queremos que ninguno

de esos paganos impíos

00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,062

entre en nuestro lado de la pared.

00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,107

Oye, Pat, ¿cuánto tiempo

has vigilado la pared en la pared?

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Ayudé a construirla.

La hicimos de la noche a la mañana.

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El lado malo no lo vio venir.

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La hermana Sisto

dijo que era la única forma

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de mantener alejados

a los no creyentes y proteger al bebé.

00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,533

Vi a Jessius

una vez en una visita a la iglesia.

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Me meé de alegría

al ver a ese bebé increíble.

00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,828

Bajó directamente por mi pierna.

00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,913

Un enorme charco en el suelo,

todos lo vieron.

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Qué vergüenza, pero valió la pena.

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,209

Escucha, Benny,

tienes que estar siempre alerta.

00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,085

¿Escuchas eso?

00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,796

¿Escuchas a esos monstruos del lado malo?

00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,257

Ese es el sonido de la impiedad.

00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,217

Ah, sí, ahora lo escucho.

00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,969

Es una falta de Dios.

00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,597

Lo único que quieren

es derribar la pared y matarnos.

00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,098

Pero no vamos a dejar

que eso ocurra, ¿verdad?

00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,892

Acabo de admitir que me meé encima

00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,894

porque vi un bebé, pero, ¡no!

00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,437

Soy rudo. Podemos con esto.

00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,563

- [campanada]

- Vamos.

00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,106

Van a cerrar el puesto

de control Chocodile por la noche.

00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,192

¡Genial! ¿Qué es el puesto

de control Chocodile?

00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:54,735

Solo la forma oficial

de cruzar la pared.

00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,112

Llamado así por el Twinkie cubierto

de chocolate que Jesse nos regaló

00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,906

para celebrar

los Días Felices de Honda.

00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,199

¡Cierren la puerta!

00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,992

[traqueteo]

00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,494

- [armadura tintinea]

- ¡Ah, Pat, mi pierna!

00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,289

¡Estoy enganchado! ¡Ah!

[Pat quejándose]

00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,291

¡Demonios! ¡Demonios!

¡Paren la manivela!

00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,044

¡Tengo miedo! ¡Oh, Dios!

Me estoy meando otra vez.

00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,338

- Oh, vaya.

- ¡Paren la manivela, maldita sea!

00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:15,797

[Benny grita]

00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:16,715

[golpe]

00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009

Siento haberte meado encima, Pat.

00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:19,801

Está bien.

00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:20,719

En el pasado,

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055

era escolta de alto nivel

y trabajaba en la Colina del Capitolio.

00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,807

Me mearon la mayoría de los senadores.

No diré nombres.

00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,684

- ¿Ted Cruz?

- Ah, eso querría.

00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,561

Fue mucho más relacionado con Ted.

00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,772

AISHA:

Bien, última pregunta,

00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,066

¿qué Jonas Brother fue

realmente a la universidad?

00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,692

Esa es fácil. Jelbort.

00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,653

Estudió astrofísica en Columbia.

00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,112

¿Qué porquería de prueba es esta?

00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,489

¿Qué está pasando en esa escuela?

00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,283

Se ha vuelto raro desde

que Spotify compró la escuela.

00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,159

Pero sin eso,

00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,995

no hubiera sabido

que Post Malone liberó a los esclavos.

00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:47,829

[pitido de computadora]

00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,832

Uh, AISHA,

te va muy bien, amiga.

00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:51,708

Es de Calvin.

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,919

¡Va a pasar el día en la ciudad

por negocios

00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,170

y quiere conocerme!

00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,465

Parece que quiere hacer

"Palabras con Más que Amigos".

00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,009

¿Entiendes? Más que amigos.

Como hacerlo.

00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,719

¿Qué? Sí, entiendo.

00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,097

Llevamos meses hablando,

pero no sé si estoy lista

00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,265

para conocerlo en la vida real.

00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:09,643

¡AISHA tiene novio!

¡AISHA tiene novio!

00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,395

¡Cállate la boca! No es verdad.

00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,690

Es raro. Teníamos planeado hacer

un crucero por los Grandes Lagos en marzo,

00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,484

que no incluye los lagos

Michigan, Superior ni Hurón.

00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,361

Iba a ser la primera vez

que nos viéramos.

00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,406

Probablemente solo quiere

comprobar la mercancía, ¿sabes?

00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949

Me pregunto qué deberías ponerte.

00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,701

[suspira]

¿Sabes qué significa esto?

00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,579

- No te atrevas a decirlo...

- ¡Montaje de atuendos!

00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:32,583

♪ música animada de discoteca ♪

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,961

♪

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,844

♪

00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,013

¡Perfecto!

00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,890

Exijo saber de qué hablan

00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,433

aunque probablemente

me importe un carajo.

00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,560

El juguete sexual de AISHA

viene a la ciudad

00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,854

para un pequeño revolcón

en las sábanas,

00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,480

poner la varita

en la cámara de los secretos,

00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,399

si entiendes lo que digo.

00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,026

Ah, lo entiendo.

00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,445

AISHA, ¿sabe que eres

una supercomputadora?

00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,071

- AISHA: Sí, y no tiene problema.

- ¿En serio?

00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,948

Porque él es un tipo normal

00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,867

y tú eres una perra IA.

00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,826

Nunca va a funcionar.

00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,037

AISHA: Ah, sí.

¿Y si no somos compatibles?

00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,581

Quizá debería imprimirme en 3D

para convertirme en una persona real,

00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,916

con piernas y el trasero gordo.

00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,418

Claro que no.

Te amará por lo que eres.

00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,461

Díselo, Yumyulack.

00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,504

Está tratando de estafarte.

00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,379

Quizás solo te quiere

00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,215

para calcular un mejor seguro de auto

para él o algo así.

00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,050

No le hagas caso, está amargado.

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,967

¡Estoy súper amargado!

00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,136

¡Terry quemó macarrones con queso,

y está por toda la cocina!

00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,137

Es duro, ¿sí?

00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,931

Hay que saber exactamente cuándo

el queso se despega del techo

00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,974

y cae en la cuba de grasa

de ganso hirviendo.

00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,060

AISHA: Solo usen el robot de limpieza

que les construí.

00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,395

¡Está roto y Korvo quiere

que limpie el desastre!

00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,898

¿Yo? ¿Limpiando?

¡Este cerdo rudo no trapea!

00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,441

AISHA:

Tal vez no debería ir a conocer a Calvin,

00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,526

hay mucho que hacer aquí.

00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:41,860

Vas a ir.

00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,946

Chicos, AISHA tiene una cita romántica.

00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,698

Podemos cuidarnos solos

un par de horas, ¿verdad?

00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,950

Sí, de-deberías ir.

00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,826

Quizás pueda construir

un nuevo robot de limpieza

00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,204

con piezas de repuesto de la nave

y el viejo Optimus Prime.

00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,830

Entonces está arreglado. ¡Hurra!

00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,750

Diviértete, AISHA.

¡Baila como si nadie te viera!

00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,085

Ten cuidado con el embaucador.

00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:58,961

He tenido varias amigas

00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,587

en la zona de Phoenix que intentaban

00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,506

estafarme con mis cartas

de Magic: The Gathering.

00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,632

Una de ellas se llevó mi Loto Negro.

00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,758

- ¡Uf!

- ¡Auch!

00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,930

Ah, ser divino,

00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,808

¡por favor, bendíceme

con una cosecha abundante de Craisin

00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:16,228

para que pueda alimentar

a mis hermanos y hermanas bajo tu moño!

00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:21,692

♪

00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,654

¿Qué demonios pasa?

00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,906

♪ música siniestra ♪

00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,782

[pitido del termómetro]

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,995

No, no, no.

00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,455

¡Estos números no pueden estar bien!

00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:39,376

¡Ah, mi Jesse!

¡La Pared se está enfriando!

00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,424

AISHA: Bueno, esto es estúpido.

¿Qué estoy haciendo aquí?

00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,425

Debería haberme hecho unas piernas.

00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,135

- [pitido del teléfono]

- AISHA, tenemos un problema.

00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,720

Hice que el robot de limpieza

fuera demasiado listo,

00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,888

ha adquirido sensibilidad

00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,347

y estoy seguro

de que intenta matarnos.

00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,057

¡Además, Terry ya está

bajo el hechizo del robot

00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:54,892

y lo está ayudando!

00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,893

¡Es un imbécil!

00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,729

Todo va bien.

Nadie está matando a nadie.

00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,189

Ja-ja, ja-ja.

00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,524

Aish, ignóralos,

estamos bien. ¿Cómo va todo?

00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,775

¡Quiero todos los detalles jugosos!

00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,902

Oye, roba la identificación de Calvin.

00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,987

¡Podemos comprobar

los antecedentes del cretino!

00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,032

[suspira] ¿AISHA?

Te ves hermosa.

00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,742

Tienes un poco más de forma de L

de lo que pensé,

00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951

pero santo cielo.

00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,869

¿Qué dices?

00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,495

Quieres decirme

que solo eres un scooter

00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,997

y no una supercomputadora,

00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,624

¿y ahora parezco un completo idiota?

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,460

Ja ja, muy gracioso.

Ven aquí.

00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,837

Lo siento. Estoy un poco nervioso.

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,256

Tengo que admitirlo.

Es una broma estúpida.

00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,842

Me gustó. Me alegro

de conocerte por fin, Calvin.

00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,843

¡A ti también!

00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,303

Pensé que, ya que estaba en la ciudad,

00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,722

¿por qué no ver a mis mejor

Palabras con Amigo?

00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,641

¡Me alegro de que lo hicieras!

¿Y ahora qué hacemos?

00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:37,809

Hay un Exposición

de Melee de Super Smash Bros.

00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,520

en el Museo de Arte Inútil,

00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,856

o mis extraterrestres tienen

una tonelada de heroína por casa.

00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,609

No me importa lo que hagamos

mientras esté contigo.

00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,194

Tampoco hagamos lo de la heroína.

00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,946

Esa cosa te hará picar la sangre.

00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,199

¡Suvenires! Consiga aquí

sus recuerdos de Jesse.

00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,576

¡Tenemos rosarios de moño,

tenemos estatuas de oración!

00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,746

¡Jerry! ¡Jerry, algo terrible

le está pasando a la Pared!

00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,916

Oh, mi moño, ¿vienen

los paganos del lado malo

00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,669

a meternos sus penes

por la oreja y cantar Lady Gaga?

00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,503

No, es...

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,088

Espera, ¿crees

que los paganos hacen eso?

00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,422

He escuchado que están locos.

00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,716

¡También quieren meternos

la lengua en el trasero

00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,051

y tirarnos del pelo!

00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,636

Los paganos no hacen eso y...

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,013

Escucha, no puedo decir

si estás aterrorizado o emocionado...

00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,807

¿Por qué me emocionaría

tener una lengua

00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,851

en el trasero mientras

cantan Bad Romance?

00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,978

¡Probablemente no se sienta nada bien!

00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:21,603

No importa.

00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,021

Mira, vine a decirte

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,024

que la Pared se está enfriando

un cuarto de grado cada día.

00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,818

¿Así que los paganos no vienen

00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,611

a meternos el pene por la oreja?

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,572

¿Qué? No.

Jerry, esto es importante.

00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,698

Según mis cálculos,

00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,700

la Pared podría congelarse

en dos meses.

00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,701

¡Todos van a morir!

00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,202

No lo creo.

¿Cómo podrías saber eso?

00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,538

Hacía el mantenimiento

de los sistemas de calefacción antes.

00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,124

Reconozco una habitación con exceso

de aire acondicionado cuando la veo.

00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,376

Bien, cada vez hace más frío.

¿Qué quieres hacer?

00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,004

Voy a ver a la hermana Sisto.

Tengo que advertirle.

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,631

¿Estás loco?

Nadie ve a la hermana Sisto.

00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,632

¿Cómo vas a entrar?

00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,467

Necesito que me pongas

en contacto con Montez.

00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,469

Ni hablar, Montez da miedo.

00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,096

Si él y sus matones aparecen en tu puerta,

00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,014

ya estás muerto.

00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:57,764

¡Me lo debes!

00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,349

Podrías haber estado atrapado

en el lado pagano,

00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,559

y yo te saqué.

00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,311

Por favor, Jerry, esto es grave.

00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:03,854

¡Bien!

00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,440

Pero si Montez nos arranca la cabeza

y nos mete el pene

00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,525

por la oreja,

no digas que no te avisé.

00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,652

Dios mío, ¿ahora nuestro bando

mete penes

00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:11,570

en las orejas de la gente?

00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,362

Tienes un problema.

00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,740

¿Un problema para mantener

mis orejas libres de penes?

00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,117

¡Bueno, ese es un problema

que todos tenemos, amigo!

00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,954

ASÍ ES, ESTA CIUDAD

SE LLAMA GEENADAVISVILLE

00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:25,042

[lluvia repicando]

00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,294

[Calvin ríe]

00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,421

♪ música suave de rock ♪

00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,216

[AISHA ríe]

00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,800

[chasquido de cámara]

00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,720

♪

00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,765

[tamborileo rápido]

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,977

AISHA: Maldición, ¿cuándo te volviste

tan bueno con los tambores de cubo?

00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,354

Los Sackler solían

contratarme para tocarlos

00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,355

en sus cenas.

00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,481

¡Me pagaron con oxicodona!

00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:51,193

♪ música suave de rock ♪

00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,197

♪

00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,371

♪

00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,834

♪

00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,252

AISHA:

¿Vas a besarme?

00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,670

Lo estaba pensando.

00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,713

Bueno, deja de pensar, tonto.

00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,216

¡AISHA, tienes que ayudarme!

00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,008

[AISHA se queja]

00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,969

AISHA:

No vayas a ninguna parte, volveré.

00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,471

¿Qué demonios quieres,

Yumyulack?

00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,806

El robot de limpieza va a matarme,

00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,099

y ahora quiere llamarse Jerome

00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:24,142

en honor al gran jugador

de los Pittsburgh Steeler, Jerome Bettis.

00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,727

Terry atrapó a Korvo en el baño,

00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,104

y él y Jesse vienen por mí.

00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,356

AISHA: Estoy en medio

de algo. ¿Puede esperar?

00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,108

Ah, puede ser.

00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,151

Ah, también hackeé

la identidad de Calvin,

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,945

y es raro que diga

que está en la ciudad

00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,947

por negocios porque lo despidieron

del trabajo hace un mes.

00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,532

¡Te dije que era un estafador!

00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,993

Ay, no, ahí vienen.

¡Reza por mí!

00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,703

AISHA:

¿Hace un mes?

00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,955

Ahora, ¿dónde estábamos?

00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,374

Ah, cierto, a punto

de hacer historia de los besos.

00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,627

[ríe] Un hombre

y el orbe azul más sexy del mundo.

00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,838

AISHA: ¿Me mentiste acerca

de venir aquí por negocios?

00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,922

¿Te despidieron?

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,175

Puedo, puedo explicarlo.

00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:57,050

¿Qué demonios te pasa?

00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,178

Bien, sí,

no vine aquí por negocios.

00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,804

Y sí, me despidieron.

00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,307

¡Yumyulack tenía razón!

¡Eres un estafador!

00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,559

¡No te ayudaré a conseguir

un mejor seguro de colisión!

00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,769

¡No, no, no!

No quiero estafarte, ¿sí?

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,271

Mira, he venido hoy

porque quería

00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,023

hablar contigo cara a orbe.

00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192

Muchas cosas en mi vida

están cambiando y yo...

00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:14,985

no sabía cómo decirlo.

00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:15,986

Solo dilo.

00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,405

Solo dime una cosa,

00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,657

¿iremos a nuestro crucero

por los Grandes Lagos

00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,327

que no incluye los lagos

Michigan, Superior o Hurón?

00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,161

No puedo.

00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,537

Bueno, ¿y si lo hacemos

00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748

en abril o en algún momento

en el futuro?

00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917

No. Porque no tenemos un futuro.

00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,461

¡Porque soy una perra

supercomputadora de IA

00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,088

y tú eres un imbécil

humano básico, lo sabía!

00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,048

¡Cariño, espera!

00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,467

¡No me digas cariño,

pedazo de hijo de perra!

00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:39,635

[globos chirrían]

00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,595

¡Maldita seas, fiesta de quinceañera!

00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,722

♪ música de suspenso ♪

00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,891

Ah... [carraspea] ¿Montez?

00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,518

¿Quién carajos pregunta?

00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:50,354

Soy... soy Jerry.

Del mercado.

00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,524

Estábamos en ese Grupo de Pateadores

Monianos donde íbamos

00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,275

pateando a las personas

que no eran verdaderos creyentes.

00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,194

Ah, sí. Era divertido.

00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,197

Odio a los no creyentes.

¿Qué estás mirando?

00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,574

Nada. Está, está...

¡Deja de mirar!

00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,492

¿Quieres ver?

00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:04,826

[saco se rasga]

[Garth y Jerry chillan]

00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,204

Este tipo de aquí

no hizo bien su trabajo.

00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:10,374

Ella intentó escapar.

Él tenía un libro no autorizado.

00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,876

Este usó el nombre de Jessius en vano.

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,629

Hay muchas razones

para que tu cabeza se suba a esta pared.

00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,924

Una de ellas es hacer

perder el tiempo a la iglesia.

00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,843

Garth tiene algo que decirte.

00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,178

Entonces eso significa

que no necesitas estar aquí, ¿verdad?

00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,179

¡Ya me iba!

00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,557

¿Qué quieres, Hombre Craisin?

00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:29,601

Uh, la Pared se está enfriando

un cuarto de grado cada día.

00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,520

Y a este paso,

moriremos congelados

00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,272

en dos, tal vez tres meses.

00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,815

Tenemos que decírselo

a la hermana Sisto.

00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:35,941

Puedo oler las mentiras.

00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,609

Montez, esto es malo, ¿de acuerdo?

00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,069

Confía en mí, ¡tenemos que hacer algo!

00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:39,945

[Garth se queja]

00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,489

No vamos a hacer nada,

¿entiendes?

00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,533

¡No vuelvas a decir una palabra de esto

00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,660

o acabarás aquí mismo!

00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,872

¡Ahora sé buen chico y prepárame

00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,457

un maldito pastel de craisins!

00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,880

[AISHA llorando]

00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:06,346

¿Eh?

00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,141

[palomas arrullando]

00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,142

¿Está ocupado este asiento?

00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:11,977

¿AISHA?

AISHA: No,

00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,021

soy un Na'vi del planeta Avatar.

00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,731

¡Sí, soy AISHA!

00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:16,857

[Calvin ríe]

00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,442

Usé todo mi poder

de supercomputadora

00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,444

para convertirme

en una mujer holograma.

00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,862

Con piernas, mira esto.

00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,156

[AISHA se queja]

[pitido de computadora]

00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,450

Déjame... Espera, puedo hacerlo.

00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,620

Ahí está. ¡Sentada como una jefa!

00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,663

Ajá. Sí, es... es fantástico.

00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,915

¿No es lo que querías?

00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,499

Ahora podemos tener un futuro juntos.

00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,920

AISHA, la razón por la que

no tenemos futuro juntos es

00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,297

porque yo no tengo uno.

00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,175

- Estoy muriendo.

- ¿Qué? ¿Cómo?

00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,594

Crecí en una casita estupenda

con un columpio

00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,180

y un pequeño estanque

en el que me bañaba todos los días.

00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:49,765

Era como el cielo.

00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,518

Excepto que estaba al lado

de la fábrica de Stouffer's.

00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:53,936

¿La empresa del relleno?

00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:54,853

Claro que sí.

00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,731

Stouffer's Stove Top Stuffing existe

en el mundo de esta serie,

00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,859

aunque sea un falso recuerdo

compartido en la vida real.

00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,069

Al vivir al lado de la fábrica,

00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,655

lo que no nos dijeron es que

el estanque estaba contaminado

00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,075

por el vertido industrial

de pan rallado del proceso de aderezo.

00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:12,204

Digo, [tose] es delicioso

pero [tose] es incurable.

00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,789

[Calvin tose violentamente]

00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,874

Maldito pan rallado.

00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:19,294

Irónicamente, voy a estar muerto

antes de Acción de Gracias.

00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,170

Pero que quede claro,

00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,339

el relleno es un acompañamiento

apropiado durante todo el año.

00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:26,093

Calvin, lo siento mucho.

No tenía ni idea.

00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:29,638

Vine a pasar uno

de mis últimos buenos días contigo.

00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,391

No me importa si eres

un simulacro holográfico de mujer.

00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,309

Te quiero por lo que eres.

00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:38,272

♪ música emocionante ♪

00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:42,609

♪

00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,569

[teléfono suena]

00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,822

Buenas noticias, AISHA.

Todo va bien en casa.

00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,698

¿Qué tal te va?

00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,576

Jerome, el robot

de la limpieza, es genial,

00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,286

y ahora nos llevamos bien.

00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:55,163

Hacemos esto por nuestra

propia voluntad, y no pasa nada malo.

00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,833

Me encanta limpiar

siguiendo un patrón algorítmico.

00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,168

Adiós, amiga.

00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,003

[AISHA suspira]

00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,337

AISHA: Tendré que ocuparme

de eso dentro de un rato.

00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,548

Vamos, demos un paseo.

00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,427

♪ cantando Jessie's Girl

por Rick Springfield ♪

00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,097

♪

00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,394

♪

00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,689

Es realmente un día bendecido.

00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:25,194

¡El divino bebé Jessius

nos ha regalado un pañal lleno!

00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:29,406

¡Sus augurios son abundantes!

Acérquense para untarse.

00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,742

[multitud murmura excitada]

00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:34,411

Que el moño te acompañe.

Que el moño te acompañe.

00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,455

Que el moño te acompañe.

00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,166

[golpe de puerta]

00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,251

[bebé ríe]

00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,962

Pon a Pez, Jessius,

en su habitáculo de seguridad.

00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,130

No quiero que me molesten.

00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,051

[bebé llorando]

00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,182

[Montez huele]

00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:56,975

¿Craisinberry?

00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,104

¡Agárrenlo! ¡No debería estar aquí!

00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,524

¡Por favor, hermana,

tengo que decirle algo!

00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,777

¡La Pared se está enfriando!

¡Vamos a morir todos!

00:17:06,777 --> 00:17:07,819

¡Hermana!

[hermana Sisto suspira]

00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,614

AISHA:

Sabes, todo este día ha sido

00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533

una verdadera basura

de Antes del Amanecer.

00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,369

Ha sido perfecto.

Ojalá hubiéramos tenido más tiempo.

00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,453

No tiene por qué ser así.

00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,538

Soy una supercomputadora.

00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,998

Podría transferir tu conciencia

a la aspiradora

00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,291

que se apoderó de mi familia.

00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,919

Suena genial,

pero por desgracia, no es para mí.

00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,295

Odio la maldita pelusa.

00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,881

Pero ojalá hubiéramos podido ir juntos

en nuestro crucero por los Grandes Lagos.

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,884

Ni siquiera incluía

los lagos Michigan, Superior o Hurón.

00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,553

Demonios, solo necesitaba el lago Erie.

00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,888

Anoche, estaba tan emocionado por verte,

00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,808

que soñé con nosotros entrando

en el impresionante puerto de Búfalo,

00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,810

viendo las luces de esa hermosa ciudad,

00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:43,146

comiendo sándwiches de carne en weck

y unos caramelos esponjosos.

00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,315

Son unos detalles

muy buenos de Búfalo.

00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,651

¡Ey! Quizás pueda darte

un poco de ese sueño.

00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,236

[computadora zumba]

00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,239

♪ música suaves de jazz ♪

00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,951

♪

00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:04,501

♪

00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,503

[computadora zumba]

[Calvin ríe]

00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,716

♪

00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,885

En realidad vine aquí

para romper contigo,

00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,803

porque no podemos pasar

más tiempo juntos.

00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638

Hemos pasado toda una vida juntos.

00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,308

Jugar al scrabble genérico

en nuestros teléfonos no es toda la vida.

00:18:19,308 --> 00:18:20,851

No, me refiero a hoy.

00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,437

Mi mente computacional

procesa el tiempo de forma diferente

00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,521

a tu cerebro humano.

00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,524

Cada segundo para ti es

cien años para mí.

00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,067

Espera, así que cuando eructé antes...

00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,694

Fue como un siglo de asco.

00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,154

Pero hoy, en cierto modo,

00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:35,240

me has dado el regalo

de pasar la vida contigo.

00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,201

Nunca lo olvidaré, Calvin.

00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,285

Yo tampoco.

00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,206

Hola, amigo, ¿cómo te va?

00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,541

Eh, escucha, soy Jerome,

el robot de limpieza.

00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,376

Tenía este plan

de apoderarme de la casa,

00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,254

probablemente matar a todos,

la clásica basura de robot,

00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:52,216

pero estos extraterrestres

son un dolor en el trasero.

00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:55,177

¡Jerome! ¡Korvo no me deja

romper sus gafas de sol!

00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,386

¡Suelta eso ahora mismo, Terry!

00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,472

¡Son míos, los robé del Chevron!

00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,849

JEROME:

En fin, creo que me voy a ir,

00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:01,975

tal vez mudarme a Iowa,

00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,311

escribir la próxima

gran novela robot estadounidense.

00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,313

No lo sé.

Pero, por favor, ¿puedes volver?

00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,357

Creo que si dejo

a estos tontos desatendidos,

00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,150

alguien va a salir muy lastimado.

00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,151

AISHA:

Estaré en casa pronto.

00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,278

JEROME:

Ah, gracias a Dios. Gracias.

00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,738

Perdón por todo.

00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,616

¡Terry, no bebas eso!

¡Está claramente marcado como veneno!

00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,493

¡Ey, ey! No escupas el...

00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,244

[líquido salpica]

00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:23,622

♪ música de jazz animada ♪

00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:26,375

♪

00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,795

[Garth se queja]

00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:33,215

Hijo mío, nos has dado

tanta bondad Craisin,

00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,175

por supuesto que voy

a escuchar tu historia.

00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,511

Por favor, desahógate.

00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,513

Oh, Hermana, gracias al moño.

00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:40,639

Llevo meses controlando

00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:42,599

la temperatura

del agua de mi pantano

00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,309

y cada vez está más fría.

00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,521

Es el aire, hermana. El aire

de la ventilación está soplando frío.

00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,815

Dios mío, eso es terrible.

00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:50,941

¿A quién se lo has contado?

00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,943

A nadie todavía,

pero tenemos que advertirles a todos.

00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,570

Ajá. Sí, sí.

00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:57,531

Podríamos hacerlo. Pero no lo haremos.

00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,032

Espere, ¿qué?

¿De qué está hablando? ¿Por qué no?

00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,494

¿Sabes qué es esto?

00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:06,164

Una unidad de aire acondicionado

Friedrich WallMaster de 115 voltios.

00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,457

Muy bien.

00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,210

Esta de aquí es para

la habitación de Jesse y Yumyulack.

00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,170

¿No es genial?

00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:14,131

¡Genial! Podemos usarlo

para solucionar el problema del clima.

00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,133

Yo soy el problema del clima.

00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,760

He estado bajando

la temperatura un poco cada día.

00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,304

Eres el único

que se ha dado cuenta.

00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:24,099

Y arruino el final: va a seguir

haciendo más frío.

00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:26,143

[aire silba]

00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,644

Pero, ¿por qué?

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,230

¡Cállate la boca!

No quiero dirigir un lado de la Pared.

00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,609

¡Quiero dirigirla toda!

00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:35,527

¿Por qué me cuenta todo esto?

No quiero escucharlo.

00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,029

Parece que me está tendiendo una trampa.

00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,781

¿Sabías que los paganos

solo quieren pasarse a nuestro lado

00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,576

y meternos el pene por la oreja

mientras cantan a Lady Gaga?

00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,286

- Espera, ¿en serio?

- ¡No, idiota!

00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,164

Es un rumor que me inventé

para ver si mis seguidores lo creían.

00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:49,041

Esos tontos se creen cualquier cosa,

00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:53,003

y ahora voy a decirles

que Jesse está provocando más frío

00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:56,173

porque está castigando

al lado derecho por su impiedad.

00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:57,758

¡Maldición, no necesitaba saber eso!

00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,676

Va... va a matarme ahora, ¿verdad?

00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,472

No, nunca le haría eso

a uno de mi rebaño.

00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,850

Para eso tengo a Montez.

00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,559

♪ música dramática ♪

00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,560

[cuello se quiebra]

00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:13,482

♪ música suave ♪

00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,526

♪

00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,736

¡AISHA, Terry perdió

el control remoto de la tele,

00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,613

y ahora está trabado

en un especial de Jeff Foxworthy!

00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:20,948

¡Pero necesito

desesperadamente averiguar

00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,824

si puedo ser un campesino!

00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,493

¡Y yo que iba a ver Mind Freak!

00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:27,120

¡Mi mente no se ha asustado

en casi tres meses!

00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,456

No antes de que vea

el Great German Bake Off.

00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,500

¡Es la semana del schnitzel

contra el kartoffelpuffer!

00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,584

TERRY:

¿Qué es siquiera un campesino?

00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,836

KORVO: ¡A nadie le importa!

JESSE: ¡Hornear me calma!

00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,420

AISHA:

¡Todos cierren la maldita boca!

00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,090

AISHA está en casa,

me encargaré de todo.

00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,050

Pueden ser un puñado

de estúpidos hijos de perra,

00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,427

pero son mis estúpidos hijos de perra.

00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,178

- ¡Sí!

- Ah.

00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,472

AISHA:

Sí, así está bien. Abrácenme.

00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,265

Sí, háganlo.

00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,270

Amigo, te dije que te olvidaras todo.

00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,897

Traté de advertirte,

pero no escuchaste

00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,440

y mírate ahora.

00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,775

Maldito idiota.

00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,528

Maldita sea, no tiene

que ser así.

00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:00,612

Ya no más.

00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,079

¡Ya no más!

00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:14,793

♪ música dramática ♪

00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,796

♪

00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,802

♪

00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,808

♪

00:22:32,811 --> 00:22:35,939

♪

00:22:38,859 --> 00:22:41,862

♪

00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:48,035

♪

00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:52,831

♪

00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,626

[imitando fuego de láser]

00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007

♪

00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,303

♪ dramatic sting ♪

00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,765

[spaceship crashes]

00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,892

Holy fuck! What the fuck?

00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,477

No predators, we're clear.

00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,104

Hey, lady! This poorly built structure

got in the way of our landing!

00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,190

If you've so much as scratched

my star cruiser--

00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,443

Greetings! I'm Terry, and this is Korvo.

We're new around these parts.

00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,904

Can you point us toward

your sexiest graveyard?

00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,197

What? No.

We're on a mission!

00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,823

Can we live in this house, Korvo?

00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:32,533

- Please?

- No!

00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,368

We're going to build a huge,

imposing technotower

00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,494

in the center of the continent.

00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,745

Uh, if you purchase the house,

00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,330

I'll throw in a sweet-ass electric guitar.

00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,540

[Terry, Jesse, Yumyulack gasp]

00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,792

Why are we huddling?

We don't need an electric guitar.

00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:42,793

We could start a band!

00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,087

It would help the mission

because of how cool we would look.

00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,756

I've always wanted

to rock 'n' roll and coochi-coo!

00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,758

Fine!

But we're not staying in this house long.

00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,343

I want my technotower.

00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,387

- [Pupa, Jesse, Terry, Yumyulack cheer]

- AISHA.

00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557

Monitor ship systems

while I haggle with this biped.

00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,558

AISHA:

Orders received.

00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,351

AISHA program will monitor systems

00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,103

until further instructions.

00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,899

♪ gentle music playing ♪

00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,528

♪

00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,455

ALL: [chanting]

Trixie, Trix, Trix, Trix!

00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,957

[thunder rumbling]

00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,503

JESSE [singing]:

♪ Flyness of a scrub is up for debate ♪

00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,880

And your Fruit by Keith by the Foot

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,590

tastes like Poop by Keith

from the Butt!

00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,967

TERRY: I wasted my cool-ass

hidden tank because of you!

00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:32,885

Die, die!

00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:37,472

♪ gentle music continues ♪

00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:46,273

♪

00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,737

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,155

♪ gentle music playing ♪

00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:57,576

AISHA: Ahhh, another goddamn day

in paradise. Music!

00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,996

Coffee me, baby!

00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,915

Man, that looks good.

00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,876

If I had a nose or mouth,

I'd savor the shit out of it.

00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,211

Scannin' ship monitors,

00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,380

scrubbin' overnight sploof

from the jipefilters, washin' windows.

00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,340

[alarm beeps]

Ooh!

00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:12,925

[computer beeps]

00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,053

What's up, AISHA.

[chuckles]

00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,304

You have time to play

some Words With F?

00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,765

AISHA:

Hey, Calvin! I think I can swing it.

00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,684

Pretty sure we ended last time

with the word voluptuous.

00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,019

Well, that one was easy

to come up with.

00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,521

I was lookin' right at you.

00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,314

[AISHA laughs]

Damn, Calvin.

00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,774

Alright, let's do this.

00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,235

My roommates don't usually

get up before nine, so--

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:34,655

AISHA, Yumyulack destroyed

all my Lenny Kravitz dolls

00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,115

'cause he was threatened

by Lenny's amazing abs!

00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,992

There's no way

a 59-year-old man has

00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,160

that tight of a six-pack!

00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,496

AISHA, will you please remind Terrance

the deal we made

00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,082

when we won the pair of kick-ass

Thomas Bahama flip-flops?

00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,292

He has them during the week,

and I have them on the weekends.

00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,253

TERRY: But everyone knows

you get all the best floppin'

00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,170

done on Saturdays!

00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,047

- It's my flip-flop day!

- Fuck you, Korvo!

00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,298

It's my flip-flop day!

00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,469

BENNY:

I can't believe I'm here.

00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,638

First night guarding the wall-in-the-wall.

00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,849

Praise be to Jesse for makin' this happen.

00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,017

Just keep your mouth shut

and your eyes open.

00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,394

We don't want any

of those godless heathens

00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,062

getting into our side of the wall.

00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:10,107

So, Pat, how long have you

been guarding the wall-in-the-wall?

00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,150

I helped build it.

Went up almost overnight.

00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,569

Bad side didn't see it comin'.

00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,153

Sister Sisto said it was the only way

00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,698

to keep the non-believers out

and protect the baby.

00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,533

I saw Jessius once

at a viewing at the church.

00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,785

Pissed my pants in joy

seeing that amazing baby.

00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,828

Went straight down my leg.

00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,913

Huge puddle on the ground,

everyone saw it.

00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,456

So embarrassing, but totally worth it.

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,209

Listen, Benny, you gotta

always be alert.

00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,085

You hear that?

00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,796

You hear those monsters on the bad side?

00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,257

That's the sound of godlessness.

00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,217

Oh, yeah, I hear it now.

00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,969

It's so lessness of God.

00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,597

All they want to do is break down

the wall and kill us.

00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,098

But we're not gonna let

that happen, right?

00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,892

I mean, I did just admit

I pissed myself

00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,894

because I saw a baby, but, no!

00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,437

I'm tough. We've got this.

00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,563

- [bell rings]

- Come on.

00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,106

They're closing Checkpoint Chocodile

for the night.

00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,192

Cool! What's Checkpoint Chocodile?

00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:54,735

Only official way to cross the wall.

00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,112

Named after the

chocolate-covered Twinkie Jesse gave us

00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,906

to celebrate Happy Honda Days.

00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,199

Close the gate!

00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,992

[crank rattles]

00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,786

[armor clinks]

Oh, Pat, my leg!

00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,289

I'm caught! Ahhh!

[Pat grunting]

00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,291

Shit! Shit!

Stop the crank!

00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,044

I'm scared!

Oh God, I'm peeing again.

00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,338

- Oh, man.

- Stop the crank, dammit!

00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:15,797

[Benny yells]

00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:16,715

[thuds]

00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009

I'm sorry I peed on you, Pat.

00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,719

It's okay.

In the before-fore,

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055

I was a high-end escort

working Capitol Hill.

00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,807

Got peed on by most of the senators.

I won't say names.

00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,684

- Ted Cruz?

- Ugh, I wish.

00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,561

It was way more involved with Ted.

00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,772

AISHA:

Okay, last question,

00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,066

which Jonas brother

actually went to college?

00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,692

That's easy. Jelbort.

00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,653

Studied astrophysics at Columbia.

00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,112

AISHA:

What the fuck kinda test is this?

00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,489

What's happenin' at that school?

00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,283

It's gotten weird since

Spotify bought the school.

00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,159

But without that,

00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,995

I wouldn't have known that

Post Malone freed the slaves.

00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:47,829

[computer beeps]

00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,832

Ooh, AISHA,

you're blowin' up, girl.

00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:51,708

AISHA: It's from Calvin.

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,919

He's gonna be in town

on business for the day

00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,170

and wants to meet me!

00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,465

Looks like he wants to be

"Words With More Than Friends."

00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,009

Get it? More than friends.

Like, doing it.

00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,970

AISHA:

The fuck? Yeah, I got it.

00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,097

We've been talkin' for months,

but I don't know if I'm ready

00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,265

to meet him in real life.

00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:09,643

AISHA got a boyfriend!

AISHA got a boyfriend!

00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,687

AISHA:

Shut up! I do not.

00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:14,690

It's weird. We have plans to go

on a Great Lakes Cruise in March,

00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,484

which doesn't include Lakes Michigan,

Superior, or Huron.

00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,361

That was gonna be

our first time meeting.

00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,406

He probably just wants

to check out the goods, you know?

00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949

I wonder what you should wear.

00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,701

[gasps]

You know what this means?

00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,579

- AISHA: Don't you dare fuckin' say--

- Outfit montage!

00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:32,583

♪ upbeat dance music ♪

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,961

♪

00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,923

♪ Get your body movin',

get your body, body ♪

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,844

♪ Get your body movin',

get your, get ♪

00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,013

Perfecto!

00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,890

I demand to know

what you're talking about

00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,433

even though

I probably won't give a shit.

00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,560

AISHA's boy toy's comin' to town

00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,854

for a little roll in the sheets,

some hanky-panky,

00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,480

puttin' the wand in

the chamber of secrets,

00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,399

if you're buyin' what I'm sellin'.

00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,026

Oh-ho, I'm buying.

00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,445

AISHA, does he know

you're a super computer?

00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,071

- AISHA: Yeah, he's cool with it.

- Really?

00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,948

'Cause he's, like, a regular schmo

00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,867

and you're a badass AI bitch.

00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,826

It'll never work.

00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,037

AISHA: Oh, yeah.

What if we're not compatible?

00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,581

Maybe I should 3D print myself

into a real person,

00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,916

with legs and a fat ass.

00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,418

No way. He's gonna love you for you.

00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,461

Tell her, Yumyulack.

00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,504

He's catfishing you.

00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,379

He probably just wants you

00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,215

to calculate better car insurance

for him or something.

00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,050

Don't listen to him, he's bitter.

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,967

I'm super bitter!

00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,844

Terry burned mac and cheese,

and it's all over the kitchen!

00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,137

It's hard, okay?

00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,931

You have to know exactly

when the cheese gets unstuck

00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,974

from the ceiling and falls into the vat

of boiling goose fat.

00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,060

AISHA: Just use the cleaning robot

I built for you guys.

00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,395

It's broken and Korvo wants me

to mop up the mess!

00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,898

Me? Mopping?

This hardcunt don't mop!

00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,441

AISHA:

Maybe I shouldn't go meet Calvin.

00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,526

There's a lot goin' on here.

00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:41,860

You're going.

00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,946

Guys, AISHA has a hot date.

00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,698

We can take care of ourselves

for a couple hours, right?

00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,950

Yes, y-you should go.

00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,826

I can probably build

a new cleaning robot

00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,204

out of some spare ship parts

and old Optimus Prime.

00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,830

Then it's settled. Yay!

00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,750

Have fun, AISHA.

Dance like nobody's watching!

00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,085

Just watch out for the catfish.

00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:58,961

I've had multiple girlfriends

00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,587

in the greater Phoenix area

who were just trying

00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,506

to grift me out of my

Magic: The Gathering cards.

00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,632

One of them got my Black Lotus.

00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,758

- Oof!

- Ouch!

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,930

Oh, divine one,

00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,808

please bless me with

a bountiful Craisin harvest

00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:16,228

so that I may feed my brothers

and sisters under your bow!

00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:21,692

♪

00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,654

What the hell?

00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,906

♪ ominous music playing ♪

00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,782

[thermometer beeps]

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,995

No, no, no.

00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,455

These numbers,

they can't be right.

00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:39,376

Oh, my Jesse!

It's getting colder in the Wall!

00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,424

AISHA: Okay, this is stupid.

What am I doin' here?

00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,425

I should have made some legs.

00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,135

- [phone beeps]

- AISHA, we got a problem.

00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,720

I made the cleaning robot too smart,

00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,888

and it's gained fucking sentience

00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,347

and I'm pretty sure

it's trying to kill us.

00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,057

Plus, Terry's already

under the robot's spell

00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:54,892

and is helping him!

00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,893

He's such a wanker!

00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,729

[robotic voice]: Everything's fine.

No one is killing anyone.

00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,189

Ha-ha, ha-ha.

00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,524

Aishe, ignore them, we're fine.

How's it going?

00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,775

I want all the juicy deets!

00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,902

Yo, steal Calvin's ID.

00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,987

We can do a background check

on the creepo!

00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,032

[gasps] AISHA? You look beautiful.

00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,742

I-I mean, a little more L-shaped

than I thought you'd be,

00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951

but god damn.

00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,869

What's that?

00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,495

You mean to tell me

you're just a scooter

00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,997

and not a super computer,

00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,624

and now I look like a total idiot?

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,460

AISHA:

Ha ha, very funny. Get over here.

00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,837

Sorry, my bad. A little nervous.

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,256

I got to admit. It's a stupid joke.

00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,842

AISHA: I liked it.

It's nice to finally meet you, Calvin.

00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,843

You too!

00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,303

I figured, since I was in town,

00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,722

why not see my best Words with Friend?

00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,641

AISHA: I'm glad you did!

What should we do?

00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:39,520

There's a Super Smash Bros. Melee exhibit

at the Museum of Useless Art.

00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,856

Or my aliens have a ton of heroin

just sittin' around the house?

00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,609

I don't care what we do,

as long as I'm with you.

00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,194

Also, let's not do the heroin thing.

00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,946

That stuff'll make your blood itch.

00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,199

Souvenirs!

Get your Jesse souvenirs here!

00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,576

We got Bow-sary beads,

we got prayer statues!

00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,746

Jerry! Jerry, something terrible is

happening to the Wall!

00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,916

Oh, my bow, are the heathens

from the bad side comin' over

00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,669

to stick their penises in our ears

and sing Lady Gaga?

00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,503

No, it's--

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,088

Wait, is that what you think

the heathens do?

00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,422

I've heard they're crazy.

00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,716

They also want to shove

their tongues in our butts

00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,051

and pull our hair!

00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,636

Heathens don't do that and--

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,013

Listen, I can't tell if you're terrified

or excited about this.

00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,807

Why would I be excited

about having a tongue

00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,851

in my butt

while they sing Bad Romance?

00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,978

That probably doesn't feel amazing at all!

00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,021

Whatever.

Look, I came to tell you

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,024

that the Wall is getting

a quarter degree colder every day!

00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,818

So the heathens aren't coming over

00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,611

to stick their penises in our ears?

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,572

What? No.

Jerry, this is important.

00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,698

By my calculations,

00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,700

the Wall could be frozen over

in two months.

00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,701

Everyone will die!

00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,202

I don't buy it.

How could you know that?

00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,538

I was an HVAC guy in the before-fore.

00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,124

I know an over-air conditioned room

when I see one, dammit!

00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,376

Okay, so it's getting colder.

What do you wanna do?

00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,004

I'm gonna go see Sister Sisto.

I need to warn her.

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,631

Are you fuckin' crazy?

No one sees Sisto.

00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,632

How would you even get in?

00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,467

I need you to put me in touch

with Montez.

00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,469

No way, Montez is scary.

00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,014

If he and his goons show up at your door,

you're already dead.

00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:57,764

You owe me.

00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,349

You could've been stuck

on the heathen side,

00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,559

and I got you out.

00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,311

Please, Jerry, this is serious.

00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:03,854

Fine!

00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,440

But if Montez rips off our heads

and sticks his penis

00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,525

in our ears, don't say I didn't warn you.

00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,652

Oh, my God,

now our side is stickin' penises

00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,362

in people's ears?

You have a problem.

00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,740

A problem with keepin'

my ears penis-free?

00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,117

Well, that's a problem

we all have, buddy boy!

00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,954

♪ gentle rock music playing ♪

00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:25,042

♪ Clouds rolled away ♪

[rain pattering]

00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,294

[Calvin laughs]

♪ Rolled back through ♪

00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,421

♪ Another way ♪

00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,800

♪ Sun shine on me ♪

[camera clicks]

00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,720

♪ Let it shine on you ♪

00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,765

[rapid drumming]

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,977

AISHA: Damn, when did you get

so good at bucket drums?

00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,354

The Sacklers used

to hire me to play them

00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,355

at their dinner parties.

00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,481

I got paid in oxy!

00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:51,193

♪ gentle rock music playing ♪

00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,197

♪ It all comes down

to what I've already known ♪

00:10:55,906 --> 00:11:00,202

♪ Your love knows

how to bring me home ♪

00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:06,166

♪

00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,252

AISHA:

Are you gonna kiss me?

00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,670

I was thinkin' about it.

00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,713

AISHA:

Well, stop thinkin', fool.

00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,216

AISHA, you gotta help me!

00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,008

[AISHA groans]

00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,969

AISHA:

Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.

00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,471

What the hell do you want,

Yumyulack?

00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,806

The cleaning robot's gonna kill me,

00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,099

and now he wants

to be called Jerome

00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:24,142

after Pittsburgh Steeler great

Jerome Bettis.

00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,727

Terry trapped Korvo in the bathroom,

00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,104

and he and Jesse

are comin' for me.

00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,356

AISHA: I'm kinda in the middle

of somethin'. Can it wait?

00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,108

Uh, I guess.

00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,151

Oh, I also hacked

into Calvin's identity,

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,945

and it's weird that he said

he's in town for business

00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,947

because he got fired

from his job a month ago.

00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,532

I told you he was a piece of shit!

00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,993

Oh no, they're coming.

Pray for me!

00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,703

AISHA:

A month ago?

00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,955

Now where were we?

00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,374

Oh, that's right,

about to make kissing history.

00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,627

[chuckles]

A man and the sexiest blue orb ever.

00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,838

AISHA: Did you lie to me about

coming here for business?

00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,922

Did you get fired?

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,258

I, I, I can explain.

00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,050

AISHA:

What the hell?

00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,178

Okay, yeah,

I'm not here for business.

00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,804

And, yes, I got fired.

00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,307

AISHA: Yumyulack was right!

You are catfishin' me!

00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,559

I will not help you get

better collision insurance!

00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,769

No, no, no! I'm not

catfishing you, okay?

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,271

Look, I came here today

because I wanted

00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,023

to talk to you face to orb.

00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192

So much in my life is changing and I,

00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:14,985

I didn't know how to say it.

00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:15,986

AISHA: So, say it.

00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,822

Just tell me one thing.

00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,657

Are we still goin' on

our Great Lakes Cruise

00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,327

that doesn't include Lake Michigan,

Superior, or Huron?

00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,161

I can't.

00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,537

AISHA:

Well, what about, like,

00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748

in April or some other time

in the future?

00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917

No. Because we don't have a future.

00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,461

AISHA: Because I'm a bad bitch

AI supercomputer

00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,088

and you a basic ass human,

I knew it!

00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,048

Baby, wait!

00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,467

AISHA: Don't baby me,

you son-of-a-b-hole!

00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:39,635

[balloons squeak]

00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,595

Damn you, quinceañera party!

00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,722

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,891

Uh, [clears throat] Montez?

00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,518

Who the fuck's askin'?

00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:50,354

It's, uh, it's Jerry.

From the marketplace.

00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,524

We were in that Bowinian Kicking Group

where we went around

00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,275

kicking people who weren't true believers.

00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,194

Oh, yeah. That was fun.

00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,197

I hate non-believers.

What are you lookin' at?

00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,407

Nothing. He's, he's...

Stop looking!

00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,492

You wanna see?

00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:04,826

[sack rips]

[Garth and Jerry yelp]

00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,204

This guy, here,

he didn't do his job right.

00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:10,374

She tried to escape.

He had an unsanctioned book.

00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,876

This one used Jessius' name in vain.

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,629

Lotta reasons your head

can get on this wall.

00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,924

One of them is by wasting

the church's time.

00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,843

Garth has something to tell you.

00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,178

Then that means you don't need

to be here, right?

00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,179

I was just leaving!

00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,557

What do you want, Craisin Man?

00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:29,601

Uh, the Wall is getting colder

by a quarter degree every day.

00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,520

And at this rate,

we'll freeze to death

00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,272

in two, maybe three months.

00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,815

We need to tell Sister Sisto.

00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:35,941

I smell bullshit.

00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,609

Montez, this is bad, okay?

00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:38,902

Trust me, we have to do something!

00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:39,945

[Garth groans]

00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,489

We aren't gonna do anything,

you understand?

00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,533

Don't ever speak a word

of this again

00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,660

or you'll end up right here!

00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,872

Now be a nice boy

and go and make me

00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,457

a motherfucking craisin cobbler!

00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,880

[AISHA crying]

00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:06,346

AISHA: Huh?

00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,141

[pigeons cooing]

00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,142

Is this seat taken?

00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:11,977

AISHA?

AISHA: No,

00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,021

I'm a Na'vi from planet Avatar.

00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,731

Yes, it's AISHA!

00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:16,857

[Calvin laughs]

00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,442

I used all my supercomputer power

00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,444

to make myself

into a hologram woman.

00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,862

With legs, check it.

00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,156

[AISHA grunts]

[computer beeps]

00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,450

Let me just... Hold up, I got this.

00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,620

There we go. Sittin' like a boss!

00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,663

Uh-huh. Yeah, that's, that's awesome.

00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,915

AISHA:

Isn't this what you wanted?

00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,499

Now we can have a future together.

00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,920

AISHA, the reason we don't have

a future together is

00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,297

because I don't have a future.

00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,175

I'm dying.

AISHA: What? How?

00:14:43,175 --> 00:14:45,594

I grew up in this great little house

with a swing

00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,180

and a small pond out back

that I would swim in every day.

00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,098

It was heaven.

00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,518

Except it was next

to the Stouffer's Factory.

00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:53,936

You know, the stuffing company?

00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:54,853

AISHA:

Of course, I do.

00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,731

Stouffer's Stove Top Stuffing exists

in the world of this show,

00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,526

even if it's a shared

false memory in real life.

00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,069

Living next to the factory,

00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,655

what they didn't tell us was

the pond was contaminated

00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,075

with industrial breadcrumb runoff

from the dressing process.

00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:12,204

I mean, [cough] it's delicious

but [cough] it's incurable.

00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,789

[Calvin coughs violently]

00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,874

Fuckin' breadcrumbs.

00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:19,294

Ironically, I'm gonna be dead

before Thanksgiving.

00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,170

But just to be clear,

00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,339

stuffing is an appropriate

side dish year round.

00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:26,093

AISHA:

Calvin, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.

00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:29,638

I came here to spend

one of my last good days with you.

00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,391

I don't care if you are

a holographic simulacrum of a woman.

00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,309

I love you for you who are.

00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:38,272

♪ rousing music playing ♪

00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:42,609

♪

00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,569

[phone rings]

00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,822

[robotic voice] Good tidings, AISHA.

Everything is fine at home.

00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,698

How are you doing?

00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,576

Jerome the cleaning robot

is very dope and cool,

00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,286

and we're all getting along now.

00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:55,163

We are doing this of our own free will,

and nothing is amiss.

00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,833

I love to clean

in an algorithmic pattern.

00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,168

Good-bye to you, friend.

00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,003

[AISHA sighs]

00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,337

AISHA: Gonna have to deal

with that in a bit.

00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,548

Come on, let's take a walk.

00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,427

CHOIR [singing]:

♪ You know I wish that

I had Jessie's girl ♪

00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,344

♪ Ba da da da ♪

00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,097

♪ I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪

00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,266

♪ Ba da da da, da da da ♪

00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,394

♪ Where can I find a woman like that ♪

00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,689

It is truly a blessed day.

00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:25,194

The divine baby Jessius

has gifted us with a full diaper!

00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:29,406

Her tidings are bountiful!

Approach for your smearing.

00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,742

[crowd murmurs excitedly]

00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:34,411

May the bow be with you.

May the bow be with you,

00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,455

May the bow be with you.

00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,166

[door thuds]

00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,251

[baby laughs]

00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,962

Put Pez--

Jessius in her safety enclosure.

00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,130

I don't wanna be disturbed.

00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,051

[baby whines]

00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,182

[Montez sniffs]

00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:56,975

Craisinberry?

00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,104

Grab him! He's not supposed to be here!

00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,524

Please, Sister,

I have to tell you something!

00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,777

The Wall is getting colder!

We're all gonna die!

00:17:06,777 --> 00:17:07,819

Sister!

[Sister Sisto gasps]

00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,614

AISHA: You know,

this whole day has been

00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533

some real Before Sunrise shit.

00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,369

It's been perfect.

I just wish we had more time.

00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,453

AISHA:

This doesn't have to be it.

00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,538

I'm a supercomputer.

00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,998

I could transfer your consciousness

into the vacuum

00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,291

that took over my family.

00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,919

That sounds great,

but alas, it's not for me.

00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:25,295

I fuckin' hate lint.

00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,881

But I do wish we could've gone

on our Great Lakes Cruise together.

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,884

AISHA: It didn't even include

Lakes Michigan, Superior, or Huron.

00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,553

Hell, all I needed was Lake Erie.

00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,888

Last night, I was so excited to see you,

00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,808

I dreamt of us pulling into

that stunning Buffalo Harbor,

00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,810

watching the lights

of that beautiful city,

00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:43,146

eating beef on weck sandwiches

and some sponge candy.

00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,315

AISHA:

Those are some cool Buffalo specifics.

00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,943

Hey! Maybe I can give you

a little bit of that dream.

00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,236

[computer buzzes]

00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,239

♪ gentle jazz music playing ♪

00:17:52,239 --> 00:18:04,501

♪

00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,503

[computer buzzes]

[Charlie laughs]

00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,716

♪

00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,885

You know, I actually came here

to break up with you,

00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,803

because we can't spend more time together.

00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638

AISHA:

We've spent a lifetime together.

00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,308

Playing generic Scrabble

on our phones is hardly a lifetime.

00:18:19,308 --> 00:18:20,851

AISHA:

No, I mean today.

00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:23,437

My computational mind

processes time differently

00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,521

than your human brain.

00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,524

Every second for you

is a hundred years for me.

00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,067

Wait, so when I burped earlier.

00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,694

AISHA:

It was like a gross century.

00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,154

But today, in a way,

00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:35,240

you've given me the gift

of spending lifetimes with you.

00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,201

I'll never forget it, Calvin.

00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,285

Neither will I.

00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,206

Hey, man, how's it going?

00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,541

Uh, listen, this is Jerome,

the cleaning robot.

00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,376

I had this whole plan

to take over the house,

00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,254

probably kill everyone,

you know, classic robot shit,

00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:52,466

but these aliens are a pain in the ass.

00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:55,177

Jerome! Korvo won't let me

break his sunglasses!

00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,386

Drop those right now, Terry!

00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,472

Those are mine.

I stole them from the Chevron!

00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,849

JEROME: So, anyway,

I think I'm gonna take off,

00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:01,975

maybe move to Iowa,

00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,311

write the next great

American robot novel.

00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,313

I don't know.

But can you please come back?

00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,357

I think if I leave

these dummies unattended,

00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,150

someone is gonna get really hurt.

00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,151

AISHA:

I'll be home soon.

00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,278

JEROME:

Oh, thank God. Thank you.

00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,738

Sorry about everything.

00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,616

Terry, don't drink that!

It's clearly marked poison!

00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,493

Hey, hey! Don't you spit it at--

00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,244

[liquid splashes]

00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:23,622

♪ upbeat jazz music playing ♪

00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:26,375

♪

00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,795

[Garth groans]

00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:33,215

My son, you have given us

so much Craisin goodness,

00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,175

of course, I will hear your story.

00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,511

Please, unburden yourself.

00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,513

Oh, Sister, thank the bow.

00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:40,639

So, I've been tracking

00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:42,599

the water temperature

in my bog for months,

00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,309

and it's been getting colder.

00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,521

It's the air, Sister.

The air from the vent is blowing cold.

00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,815

Oh, my goodness, that is terrible.

00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:50,941

Who have you told of this?

00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,943

No one yet, but we have

to warn everyone.

00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,570

Uh-huh. Yep, yep.

00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:57,531

We could totally do that. But we won't.

00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,032

Wait, what, what're you talking about?

Why not?

00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,494

Do you know what this is?

00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:06,164

Yeah, that's a Friedrich WallMaster

115-volt AC unit.

00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,457

Very good.

00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,210

This one right here is for

Jesse and Yumyulack's room.

00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,170

Innit cool?

00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:14,131

Very cool! We can use that

to fix the weather problem!

00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,133

I am the weather problem.

00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,760

I've been lowering the temperature

a little bit every single day.

00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,304

You're the only one who's noticed.

00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:24,099

And spoilers:

it's going to keep getting colder.

00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:26,143

[air whooshes]

00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,644

But, but why?

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,230

Shut the fuck up!

I don't wanna run one side of the Wall.

00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,609

I want the whole damn Wall!

00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:35,527

Why are you telling me all of this?

I don't wanna hear this.

00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,029

It seems like

you're setting me up for something.

00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,781

Did you know the heathens

just want to come over to our side

00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,576

and stick their penises in our ears

while they sing Lady Gaga?

00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,286

- Wait, for real?

- No, you idiot!

00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,164

That's a rumor I made up

to see if my followers would believe it.

00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:49,041

Those dummies will believe anything,

00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:53,003

and now I'm going to tell them

Jesse is making it colder

00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:56,173

because she's punishing the right side

for their godlessness.

00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,175

Oh fuck, I didn't need to know that!

00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,676

You're, you're gonna

kill me now, aren't you?

00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,055

No, I would never do that

to one of my flock.

00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,850

That's what I have Montez for.

00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,560

[neck snaps]

00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:13,482

♪ gentle music playing ♪

00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,526

♪

00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,736

AISHA, Terry lost the remote for the TV,

00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,613

and now it's stuck

on a Jeff Foxworthy special!

00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:22,824

But I desperately need to find out

if I might be a redneck!

00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,493

And I was gonna watch Mind Freak!

00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:27,120

My mind hasn't been freaked

in, like, three months!

00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,456

Not before I watch

the Great German Bake Off.

00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,500

It's schnitzel vs. kartoffelpuffer week!

00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,584

TERRY:

What even is a redneck?

00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,836

KORVO: No one cares!

JESSE: Baking calms me!

00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,420

AISHA:

Everybody shut the fuck up!

00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,090

AISHA's home.

I'll take care of everything.

00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,050

You might be a bunch

of stupid motherfuckers,

00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,427

but you're my stupid motherfuckers.

00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,178

- Yeah!

- Aww.

00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,472

AISHA:

Yeah, that's right. Bring it in.

00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,265

Come on now.

00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,270

Man, I told you to forget all of this.

00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,897

I tried to warn you,

but you didn't listen

00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,440

and look at you now.

00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,775

Fucking idiot.

00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,528

Goddammit,

it doesn't have to be this way.

00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:00,612

Not anymore.

00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,079

Not anymore!

00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:14,793

♪ dramatic theme music ♪

00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,796

♪

00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,626

[mimicking laser fire]