Подарок на день рождения
Описание
Корво, Терри и Джесси объединяются, чтобы помешать Юмьюлаку обнаружить свой подарок ко дню рождения. Такой подарок наделяет инопланетянина на один день разрушительной силой. Обычно шлорпианцы используют эту силу, чтобы мстить своим обидчикам. Пупа спускается в нижние отсеки космического корабля, чтобы достать оттуда случайно забрёдших туда людей.
Субтитры
spa__Spanish_[SDH].srt
spa__Spanish_[SDH].srt
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005
UN ORIGINAL DE HULU
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007
♪
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,926
TERRY:
Korvo, ¿dónde está la comida?
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:09,968
¡Muero de calambre!
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,720
¡Es una combinación
de calor y hambre!
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,347
KORVO: ¡No tendrías tanto calor
si dejaras de comerte
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,431
esas piedras de sauna!
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,058
Me gusta ese sombrero, Yumyulack.
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,769
Resalta la forma natural
de cubo de tu cabeza.
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,854
Gracias, es que me probé muchos
sombreros últimamente,
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,814
pero creo que
por fin he encontrado
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,733
el que dice:
"Este tipo caza recompensas".
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,901
La cena está servida.
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,027
Hice carne rostizada
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,030
porque hoy es otra cena familiar
de burlas de los Solar Opposites.
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:30,948
- ¡Sí!
- ¡Guau!
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,698
- ¡Muy bien! ¡Uh ju!
- Sí, amo la noche de burlas.
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,243
Sí, no quiero participar de esta.
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,954
Hice carne rostizada para comer bien
y que pudiéramos burlarnos.
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,623
Esta es nuestra nueva y divertida onda
y toda la familia tiene que participar.
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,000
La cuarta de la semana,
es una racha de burlas, chicos.
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,503
Pensé que te habías quedado
sin material después de decir
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:47,089
que mi cara parece el interior
de la vagina de Venom.
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,383
Y así fue. Y luego me quedé despierto
toda la noche viendo Sopranos
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,969
en una pantalla y películas
de Judd Apatow en la otra.
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,471
¿Quién quiere que le rompan primero
las inexistentes pelotas?
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,889
¡Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,974
Muy bien. Aquí vamos.
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,476
[carraspea] Terry es lo que obtienes
cuando el Jolly Green Giant
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,186
accidentalmente olvida
hacer el día de las piernas.
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,771
¡Ah, acabo de decir eso!
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,147
[ríe] Me atrapaste.
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,191
Uh, quiero la próxima,
me salté el almuerzo.
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,402
Lo menos que tiene tu vestido
a lunares son lunares.
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,445
Ah, no, lo hizo.
¡Ah, sí, lo hizo!
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,739
[riendo] ¡Gracias, Korvo!
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,907
Y luego tenemos a Yumyulack.
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,118
Maldita sea,
miren a este perdedor.
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,870
Lo único peor que el feo
sombrero de Yumyulack
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,496
es su personalidad de porquería.
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,831
Ah, ¿eso es un sombrero de cubo?
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,541
¿Más bien un cubo
de a quién carajo le importa?
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,918
Ah, en serio, eres la basura más fea,
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,128
estúpida y odiable.
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,005
Usas sombreros
porque deseas mucho ser humano
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,632
pero nunca lo serás
porque no tienes mamá.
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,926
Ah, a-a-a-a-a-arruinado.
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:33,969
[Terry y Jesse ríen incómodamente]
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:34,845
Aquí está tu bazofia.
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,305
¿Alguien quiere burlarse
de mí para que pueda comer?
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,556
Ah, tengo una graciosa.
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,975
Korvo, eres tan azul que el cielo dice:
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,852
"Oye, devuélveme mi color".
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,187
Ah, te atrapé.
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,522
Maldita sea, Jesse.
No puedo creer que dijeras eso.
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,858
Las palabras pueden herir.
[llorando]
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,236
KORVO:
El planeta Shlorp era una utopía perfecta.
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,363
Hasta que se estrelló el asteroide.
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,408
Cien adultos y sus réplicas
recibieron un Pupa
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,160
y escaparon al... espacio,
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,954
en búsqueda de nuevos hogares
en mundos deshabitados.
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,206
Nos estrellamos en la Tierra
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,499
y quedamos varados en un planeta
ya sobrepoblado.
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,126
Así es, yo he estado
hablando todo este tiempo.
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,336
Soy el que sostiene al Pupa.
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,004
Me llamo Korvo.
Este es mi programa.
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,339
¡Joder!
Se me acaba de caer el Pupa.
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,382
¡Uf! Esto es ridículo.
Odio la Tierra.
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,425
Es un hogar horrible.
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,135
La gente es estúpida y confusa.
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,638
¿Por qué el período de gestación humana
es de nueve meses
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,056
y luego salen inútiles?
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,599
Deberían cultivar bebés en macetas.
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,601
Más rápido, más fácil,
y después de que hayan terminado,
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,311
¡puedes quedarte
la maceta como sombrero!
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,439
♪ música dramática ♪
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,653
♪ música de juego ♪
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,238
AISHA:
¿Así se juega a las jotas?
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,656
Los juegos terrestres son una tontería.
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,658
[suena alarma]
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA: Advertencia,
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,285
protocolo de autolimpieza iniciado.
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,245
AISHA:
Maldita sea.
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:44,164
Le dije a Korvo que limpiara
la nave, ¡pero no!
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,500
Está muy ocupado investigando
disidencias y excavaciones.
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,585
¿Eh?
AISHA: Si se ensucia mucho arriba,
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:52,130
se activa un protocolo imparable
de erradicación de biomateria
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,216
y pierdo el control de la nave
hasta que se acabe.
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,718
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA:
Peligro. Nivel de radiación en aumento.
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,972
La salida de corriente
es del uno por ciento.
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,348
AISHA:
Descuida, es solo una ráfaga
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,768
de radiación teleron mortal
que purga toda vida orgánica.
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,353
No.
AISHA: Estamos a salvo en la cabina,
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:10,190
pero el resto de la nave recibirá
esa asquerosa radiación teleron.
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,025
Hay mucho desorden
allí de todos modos,
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,236
comida, juguetes,
plantas de interior.
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:17,531
Estoy segura de que vi
a un tipo de UPS por aquí hace unos días.
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,532
¿UPS?
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,033
AISHA:
El tipo está súper perdido.
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,370
La nave es mucho más grande
por dentro que por fuera.
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,288
¿Adónde vas?
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,999
No vas a salvar
al tipo de UPS, ¿verdad?
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,458
No te hagas el héroe ahora.
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,170
[hombre gritando en TV]
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,754
Korvo, ¿estás bien?
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,715
Anoche parecías bastante enojado
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,383
después de que me burlé.
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,635
Volteaste la mesa
y saliste furioso diciendo:
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,429
"¡Vete al carajo!".
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,638
¿Recuerdas eso, Korvo?
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:42,973
No, me encantó.
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,017
Recuerdo que pensé
que tu burla fue tan graciosa
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,603
que decidí golpearme la rodilla,
pero calculé mal la distancia
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:50,606
y accidentalmente golpeé
la mesa que se volcó.
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,816
Y el "vete al carajo" fue
a mí mismo por ser tan fuerte.
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,359
Y salí corriendo
porque mi suscripción
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,695
a Roblox estaba a punto de caducar
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,906
y tenía que renovarla
para que no me echaran de mi gremio.
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,240
¡Ah!
[golpe]
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,450
Ah, carajo. Ah, carajo. Ah, carajo.
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,242
¿Qué te pasa?
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,952
Estuve en la habitación
de las réplicas robando cigarrillos...
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:04,828
Por favor, deja de hacer eso.
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,705
Vi un regalo verde brillante
de nacimientaños
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,583
sobre la cama de Yumyulack
y estaba dirigido a él.
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,709
Ah, ¿de verdad?
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629
Maldita sea,
solo puede significar una cosa.
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,423
¡Hoy debe ser el nacimientaños
shlorpiano de Yumyulack !
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,133
Espera, ¿tratas
de decir cumpleaños?
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,718
No, suenas como una tonta.
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,803
Es una palabra shlorpiana
que es totalmente diferente.
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,223
Nacimientaños,
nacimientaños shlorpiano.
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,349
Dios. Maldita sea.
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,143
Estás réplicas no saben
nada sobre su herencia.
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,688
Cada shlorpiano tiene
un nacimientaños al azar en su vida.
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,149
Lo sabrás porque
aparecerá un regalo verde brillante.
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,401
Y entonces tienes exactamente
un día para abrir tu regalo
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,986
y reclamar tus poderes
de nacimientaños.
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,571
¿Qué clase de poderes recibes?
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,614
Ese es el problema.
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,658
Te dan a elegir entre sabiduría infinita
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,118
o poderes de destrucción infinita.
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,912
¡Sabiduría infinita suena bien!
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,039
Tal vez, nadie lo sabe,
nunca lo han elegido.
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,624
Todos eligen la destrucción.
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,501
El nacimientaños de un shlorpiano
es su gran oportunidad
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,294
de vengarse de todos
los que le han hecho daño.
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,380
En Shlorp teníamos un amigo
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,090
llamado Jason.
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,341
[shlorpianos gritando]
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:02,302
¡Corre, es el nacimientaños de Jason!
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,179
[golpes de pasos fuertes]
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:08,600
[Jason rugiendo]
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,396
¡Odio trabajar aquí, carajo!
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,355
[edificio rompiéndose]
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,356
[shlorpiano grita]
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,275
¿A dónde demonios vas, amigo?
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,110
Eras un jefe de porquería.
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,321
¡Feliz nacimientaños para mí!
[shlorpiano grita]
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,197
[fuego de láser]
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,576
Y Jason era un tipo tranquilo,
la gente lo trataba con respeto.
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,578
Ah, cielos.
Yumyulack no es tranquilo,
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:31,081
y le hemos faltado al respeto
últimamente con esas burlas.
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,583
En especial tú, Korvo.
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,293
Lo vi llorando
en su sombrero de cubo.
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,753
Odio cuando la gente
puede criticar pero no acepta críticas.
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,463
Definitivamente usará
sus poderes de nacimientaños
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,923
para usar el láser
y vaporizarnos.
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,884
No quiero que me convierta en cenizas.
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,219
Ni siquiera he lamido
el trasero de un chico todavía.
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,054
Tenemos que hacer
lo que solíamos hacer en Shlorp.
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,765
Evitar que el chico nacimientañero
descubra que es su nacimientaños.
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,185
Debemos mantener a Yumyulack
lejos de su habitación a toda costa.
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,520
Así es. Nunca pude matar a nadie
en mi nacimientaños
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,939
porque mis amigos me distrajeron
hasta que se acabó el tiempo.
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,066
Iba a matar a mis ex
para que no pudieran hablar
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,068
sobre cómo siempre presumo
de chupar el montículo
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,236
pero en realidad nunca lo hago.
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,404
Entonces ese es el plan.
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,866
Tenemos 12 horas para distraer
a Yumyulack y salvar a la familia.
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,285
Luego, chupamos el montículo.
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,080
AISHA: De acuerdo.
Ese es el último de mis helechos.
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,749
No voy a dejar que
mis Bloomscapes mueran
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:16,293
porque no pueden hacer
una limpieza de superficie semanal.
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,170
[chirrido del cabrestante]
[Pupa se queja]
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,339
AISHA: ¿Qué haces
con mis cabrestantes buenos?
00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,090
Esto es por el tipo de UPS.
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,509
¿Vas a ir por él?
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,511
UPS, UPS.
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,555
AISHA: Maldición, Pupa.
¿Por qué tienes un código moral?
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,891
No puedes entrar ahí,
es muy arriesgado.
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,726
Ni siquiera sabes
si vale la pena salvarlo.
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,604
¿Y si defiende a Jordan Peterson
en los hilos de comentarios?
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,022
No te dejaré ir ahí.
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,941
[puerta retumbando]
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,860
Vuelve aquí,
no te alejes haciendo parkour.
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,363
¡Pupa!
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,906
PATÉAME KARATE
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,200
Es nuestro extraterrestre favorito.
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,952
Ah, hola,
¿qué hacen aquí, chicos?
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,079
Dijeron que las artes marciales
eran para idiotas.
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,872
¡Las cosas para idiotas son lo mejor!
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,624
¿Cómo estuvo el ensayo de karate?
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,043
Increíble, hoy conseguí
mi cuarto cinturón blanco.
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:01,421
Miren mi nuevo movimiento espectacular.
[se queja]
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,049
Dios, tienes menos equilibrio
que un mono haciéndose...
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,092
Estuvo genial.
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,426
Pensamos en llevarte a celebrar
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,928
esta cosa del cinturón blanco
que acabamos de oír.
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,055
Se los agradezco,
pero prefiero ir a casa
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,640
para poder jugar
al nuevo Madden en mi habitación.
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,184
Olvídate del videojuego
tan popular del tema de Good Charlotte.
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,269
Podrías hacerlo
en cualquier momento,
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,896
pero solo tienes una oportunidad
de celebrar tu cuarto cinturón blanco.
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,106
¿Podemos al menos
invitarte a almorzar?
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,315
¡Conozco un lugar perfecto!
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,568
Bien, me dio
bastante apetito al hacer
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,902
todas mis respetuosas reverencias.
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:24,695
Miren esto.
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:26,780
[Jesse/Terry/Korvo riendo]
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,282
Qué impresionante.
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,157
[alarma sonando]
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:33,203
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA: Peligro,
el nivel de radiación es 35 por ciento.
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,622
AISHA:
Escuchaste esa voz aterradora.
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,458
Si vas a hacer esta tontería del rescate,
vete ahora,
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,002
o no tendrás tiempo de volver.
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,380
Por cierto,
ese compartimento en el que estás
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,716
es un laberinto gigante
imposible de resolver.
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,553
Todas las naves tienen uno,
deja de mirar como si fuera raro.
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,054
[alarma sonando]
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,639
[puertas retumbando]
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,640
HOMBRE:
¡Ayúdenme!
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,020
¡Por favor, ayúdenme!
00:07:58,604 --> 00:07:59,688
[Pupa grita]
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,941
♪ música dramática ♪
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:09,114
AISHA: ¡Maldición, Pupa!
Tus poderes de Daredevil lo lograron.
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,657
Gracias, criatura amable.
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,534
AISHA:
Espera, ese no es el hombre de UPS.
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,620
Hermano, ¿cómo demonios
subiste a mi nave?
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,871
Soy exterminador.
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,415
Me contrataron hace un par de semanas
para matar a las arañas,
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,418
y un bicho gigante con cuernos
me atacó en la pierna.
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,004
AISHA: Oh, carajo.
Está hablando del volptar.
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,172
Sí, sí, es ese.
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,633
AISHA:
Es un peligroso parásito de sílice
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,594
que debe haber entrado en la nave
cuando volábamos por el espacio.
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,721
Los volptares pueden sobrevivir
a la radiación.
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:33,680
¡Son jodidamente resistentes!
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,265
[alarma sonando]
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,934
¡Gracias!
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:39,311
[cabrestante chirriando]
[hombre se queja]
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,562
AISHA:
Bien, ya está aquí.
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,439
Ahora usa el segundo gancho para ti.
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,690
[alarma sonando]
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,192
[puerta retumbando]
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,945
¡Pupa, vuelve aquí!
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,781
Maldición, me estoy poniendo
muy vieja para estas cosas.
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,245
Este es el único restaurante
en este lado de la ciudad
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,996
donde puedes ahumar
tu propia carne en la mesa
00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,541
y ver al chico de Dos hombre y medio
atendiendo el bar.
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,751
Ah, lo estoy haciendo
para un papel, lo juro.
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,670
Este lugar tiene muchos
comentarios de cinco estrellas.
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,505
Y un comentario
con una sola estrella de un tipo
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,841
que claramente solo quería
quejarse de su divorcio.
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:09,633
[Yumyulack huele]
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,051
Ah, huele maravilloso.
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:11,885
¿Cuándo comemos?
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,221
En cuatro cortas horas,
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,557
podemos tomar la temperatura
de la carne por primera vez.
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:17,766
YUMYULACK/KORVO/JESSE:
Uh.
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,725
TIEMPO HASTA QUE NACIMIENTAÑOS
HA CONCLUIDO
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,353
Bueno, vamos a relajarnos
para pasar un buen rato...
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,646
Ay, carajo. Llévame a casa.
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,689
¿Qué es? ¿Qué pasa?
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:24,690
Conozco a la mesera.
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:25,941
Es Tracey de la escuela.
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,025
¡Hola, Tracey, por aquí!
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,235
Deja de saludar.
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,237
Hace unas semanas, le mandé una foto
de mi montículo por accidente.
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,281
Fue vergonzoso,
solo leyó el mensaje.
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,366
Es un imbécil total,
pero tiene que pensar que es fantástico.
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,119
No te preocupes, Yum,
apuesto a que la foto estuvo buena.
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:40,497
- Vaya, qué montículo genial.
- Tracey está como loca.
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,291
Por lo general,
haría una broma con eso,
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,501
pero este es un montículo
de calidad superior.
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,753
Genial, ¿cómo has conseguido
que brille así?
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,964
¿Qué? ¡Viene para acá, me voy!
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,217
No, espera. Planeamos
algo más para ti.
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,886
Es una cosa de caza de recompensas.
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,888
Es lo que te define como personaje.
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,890
BATALLA DE LA MUERTE
DE JERRY O'CONNELL
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,474
¿Qué se supone que haga?
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,894
Aquí está Jerry O'Connell.
Creo que está por explicar.
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:05,272
Bienvenido, Yumyulack, a la Batalla
de la Muerte de Jerry O'Connell.
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,399
¿Una batalla real?
¡Claro que sí!
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067
Ojalá estuviera ahí
contigo en persona,
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,236
pero tengo muchos otros trabajos.
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,197
Demonios, sí, claro.
¡O'Connell trabaja!
00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:16,200
También se ve genial.
Su sonrisa es más ancha que su cara.
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,119
JERRY: Veinte expertos en combate
y supervivencia más un alienígena
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,288
se cazarán entre sí
en nuestro complejo de almacenes
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,332
lleno de armas y trampas explosivas.
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:25,459
Cada tres horas
el campo de juego se reduce,
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,377
el último hombre de pie gana.
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,295
Suena bien.
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,546
- Deséenme suerte.
- Vas a ganar.
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:30,464
Patea esos traseros, amigo.
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,174
Nos vemos en seis horas.
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,050
[suena alarma]
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,343
[disparos y explosiones]
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,720
Eso debería ocupar a Yumyulack
por el resto de su nacimientaños.
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,138
A pesar del hecho
de que es el anfitrión
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,390
de un juego mortal de batalla real
del hambre del calamar,
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,309
O'Connell parece un gran tipo.
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,144
¡Oigan, amigos, gané!
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,479
Fue una victoria total.
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,522
Algunos de esos tipos
eran rudos.
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:47,856
¿Y ahora qué hacemos?
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,941
KORVO/JESSE:
Eh...
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,359
[alarma sonando]
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA: Peligro,
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,195
radiación al 60 por ciento.
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,321
[alarma sonando]
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,114
[volptar gruñendo]
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,574
[pasos acercándose]
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,742
AISHA:
¡Ese es el volptar!
00:10:58,742 --> 00:10:59,993
¡Corre, Pupa!
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,203
[volptar ruge]
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:01,995
[Pupa grita]
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,289
AISHA:
Cuidado con el pozo.
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,916
Esa cosa no tiene fondo.
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,376
Ahí tiro las baterías usadas.
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,545
Sé lo que estás pensado,
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:13,173
quieres usar esas bengalas
para impulsarte por el pozo.
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,717
¿Pero qué...? ¿De dónde sacaste
esa máscara de Rocketeer?
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,428
Espero que no la hayas comprado
con mi tarjeta Discover.
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,097
¡Pupa, no!
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:24,101
♪ música heroica ♪
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:24,935
ESTE ES UN LIBRO GRUESO
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:31,066
♪
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,401
[mujer gritando]
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:35,404
¡Guten tag, pequeña criatura!
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,614
¡Danke por el abrazo!
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:40,868
[mujer se queja]
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,829
Se siente muy extraño
no estar cayendo.
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,331
He estado en ese pozo durante
dos wochen enteros.
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,083
AISHA: ¿Cómo demonios
entraste ahí, señora alemana?
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,335
Renté una habitación en esta nave.
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,838
AISHA:
Espera, no te muevas, Pupa.
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,506
Sé que quieres usar
tu última cuerda
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,175
para enviar a la mujer de los calcetines
y las sandalias de vuelta
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,302
para que puedas seguir
buscando al hombre de UPS, pero...
00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,136
[cabrestante resuena]
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:01,763
Así es, trabé una llave
en tu cabrestante,
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,433
para que no puedas salvar
a esta mujer hasta que yo lo diga.
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,810
Te engancharás en él también
y volverás con ella
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,146
o ambos morirán por la radiación,
depende de ti.
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,522
Por favor, no me dejes morir.
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,400
No hasta que haya visto
los Estrechos de Mackinac.
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,279
AISHA:
Gracias. ¿Era tan difícil?
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,823
[mujer grita]
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:22,326
Lo siento, Pupa.
Sé que querías...
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,536
¡Hijo de perra!
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,413
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA:
Peligro extremo,
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,124
nivel de radiación al 80 por ciento.
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,668
Bien, hemos planeado
una cosa más.
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,505
Solo mantén abajo el sombrero de cubo.
Un poquito más lejos.
00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:36,798
Y... ¡ahora!
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,052
[grito ahogado]
¿La fábrica Hat On A Hat Hat?
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,554
¿En serio? Esta es mi fábrica
de sombreros favorita en Norte América.
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,806
- ¿Cómo lo sabían?
- Vimos tu historial de búsqueda.
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,059
Era todo sombreros,
gatos y pornografía.
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:51,104
Vayamos para adentro.
Tenemos el recorrido VIP de 4 horas.
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,777
JESSE: Oh.
YUMYULACK: Increíble,
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,028
es Barry Hatfield.
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:01,073
¡Es la mente maestra del diseño
de sus mejores sombreros!
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,033
Mente maestra, por favor,
este tipo es un payaso.
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,826
Está claramente a punto
de hacer algo de Willy Wonka...
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:05,536
[pitido de bocina de payaso]
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,455
Ah, guau,
tus piernas sí funcionan.
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:09,915
Claro que sí.
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:11,667
Saludos y bienvenidos
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,419
al recorrido VIP
de la fábrica Hat On A Hat Hat.
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,130
Me llamo Barry Hatfield.
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,091
¿Comenzamos?
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:20,717
Demonios, claro.
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,804
♪ Vamos, todos juntos ♪
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,265
♪ Y les mostraré sombreros ♪
00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:28,976
♪ De diferentes formas y tamaños ♪
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,104
♪ Stetsons, fedoras ♪
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:33,647
♪ Gorros de marinero ♪
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:37,609
♪ Y de Gatsby también ♪
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:38,777
Esta canción es una porquería.
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:39,945
Relájate, amigo.
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,154
Relájate.
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,116
♪ Fundimos fieltro
y lo prensamos en sombreros ♪
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:47,327
♪ En un proceso
que cumple las normas de la EPA ♪
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,664
♪ Acabamos de reabrir
nuestra ala porkpie ♪
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:56,086
♪ Y está libre de amianto ♪
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,755
¡Ah, sí!
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,841
Yumyulack, ¿te gustaría
saber el secreto
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,468
de cómo hacemos nuestras
eternas alas planas?
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,679
[suspira] ¡Es uno de los secretos
mejor guardados
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,389
de todas las sastrerías!
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,808
Uf, eso ha sido
una auténtica estupidez melosa.
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,810
Esa canción se apagó un poco.
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,104
No puedo esperar
a mortificar a Yumyulack con todo esto.
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,981
Si pensaban que era malvado,
esperen a mañana.
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,025
Mm, ya puedo saborear
cómo me reiré de él.
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,693
En realidad, esperábamos
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,362
que le pusiéramos una pausa
a mortificarnos con bromas
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,448
incluso después
del nacimientaños de Yumyulack.
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,282
¿Qué?
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:28,410
¿Hoy es mi nacimientaños
y me lo ocultaron?
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,621
- Ay, carajo.
- Ay, Yum, lo lamento.
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:31,580
¿Cómo pudieron hacerlo?
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:34,958
Iba a usar mis poderes
para hacer muchas cosas fantásticas.
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,753
¿Ah, sí? Porque teníamos miedo
de que te pusieras violento.
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,796
Iba a usar mis poderes
para hacer que me mostraran
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,840
un primer corte de Solo 2: Solo-er.
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,635
¡Oh, y los iba a matar a todos,
empezando por ustedes dos!
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,011
TERRY/JESSE: ¡Ah!
KORVO: ¡Oh! ¡No!
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,930
- ¡Ah, es terrible!
- ¡Ah, no!
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,598
- ¡Está caliente!
- ¡Sabíamos que eras malo!
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,350
¡Oh, oh, Terry, Jesse, no!
[Terry/Jesse gritando indistintamente]
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,601
AMBOS:
¡Ah!
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:55,562
♪ música intensa ♪
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,398
[maquinaria traqueteando,
silbando]
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,358
[suena campanilla]
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:01,485
¡Transformaron
a mi familia en sombreros
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,779
como lo dijo
la galleta de la fortuna!
00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:10,160
Ay, Dios mío.
Terry, Jesse, ¿pueden oírme?
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,621
Maldito.
¡Los convertiste en la cosa más aburrida!
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,248
Cuando abra mi regalo
de nacimientaños
00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:15,666
vas a desear
haberte transformado en sombrero.
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:20,796
♪ música dramática ♪
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:23,131
[chirrido de neumáticos]
[bocinas de autos]
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,343
[bocinas de autos]
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,178
[bocina de auto]
KORVO: Espera.
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,972
Esta secuencia de persecución
me resulta familiar.
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,099
¿Estos bastardos baratos
están reutilizando la animación
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,017
de cuando Jesse
te persiguió a casa aquella vez?
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,686
¡De ninguna manera, es diferente!
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,896
[perro ladra, gruñe]
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,439
¡Ah! ¡Ah! Dios mío.
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,275
Oh, oh, ayúdame.
¡Ah, ah!
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:42,234
¡Oh!
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:49,116
¡Sí, es la misma!
Es el perro que te mordió antes.
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,993
No te atrevas a usarlo
para pasar por encima de mí.
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,536
Vete al carajo,
es exactamente lo que haré.
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,746
[alarma sonando]
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,790
AISHA:
Pupa, sal de mi sala de máquinas,
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,375
sabes que no es seguro allí.
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:01,628
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA:
Radiación del edificio, 98 por ciento.
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,504
[hombre de UPS lloriqueando]
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,464
¡Ayuda! ¡Por favor, ayuda!
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,009
AISHA: No, Pupa,
no podrás lograrlo.
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,678
♪ música heroica ♪
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:10,846
¿Quién eres?
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:11,763
¿Qué eres?
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,849
[hueso se rompe]
¡Ah!
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,726
[alarma continúa sonando]
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:18,520
♪ música de suspenso ♪
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,105
- VOZ AUTOMATIZADA: 99.6 por ciento.
- Deja que se caiga, amigo.
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,773
Sí, me despedirán,
pero que se pudran.
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,442
¡Me hacen orinar en el camión!
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:27,738
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA: Advertencia,
la radiación está ahora al 99.8%.
00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:30,574
Los emisores
se están cargando, purga inminente.
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,160
♪ música dramática ♪
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:36,371
¡Volptar!
[volptar chilla]
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,081
AISHA:
¡Pupa, cuidado!
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,583
VOZ AUTOMATIZADA:
Advertencia, peligro,
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,543
iniciando borrado teleron.
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,754
[volptar chilla]
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:45,881
[explosión]
00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:47,925
¿Korvo?
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,510
¡Korvo! [gruñe]
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,221
¡Sal de mi camino!
00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:54,389
Mira, entiendo que estés
por destrozarme
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,432
con tus poderes de nacimientaños,
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,727
pero antes de que lo hagas,
solo quiero decir que lo siento.
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,688
¿En serio? ¿Por qué?
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,023
No deberíamos haberte mentido.
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,942
Deberíamos haber confiado
en que harías lo correcto
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,193
en vez de pensar lo peor.
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,069
Sí, así es.
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,071
Y siento haberme burlado de ti.
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:12,157
La verdad es que
soy de piel muy sensible.
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,284
Literalmente, es una condición clínica
con la que nací
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,327
y que he ocultado a todos.
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:16,995
Me hace arremeter
cuando me siento atacado.
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,956
Gracias por contármelo.
00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:21,166
No tenía ni idea
de que llevaras esa carga.
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,417
Sé que ahora estamos solos tú y yo
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,795
porque mataste a la mitad de la familia
convirtiéndola en sombreros.
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:27,464
Pero me encantaría
cambiar la forma en cómo nos tratamos.
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,173
¿Qué me dices?
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,216
¿Sabes qué, Korvo?
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,801
Si realmente sientes
lo que acabas de decir,
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:33,720
está bien. No me molesta dejar
que se agote mi nacimientaños.
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,097
¿En serio?
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,391
Sí, ¿quieres ir a ver
Caza del Octubre Rojo 2:
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:38,517
En busca del Noviembre Verde?
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:41,436
Espera un maldito segundo.
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,772
Odias esa película
y el Yumyulack que conozco
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,065
nunca cedería tan rápido.
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,775
¡Espera, no! ¡Ese es mi regalo!
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,402
¿"Para Korvo"?
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:51,572
Ay, Dios mío,
es mi nacimientaños shlorpiano.
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,407
¡Han fingido distraer a Yumyulack
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:56,076
mientras me distraían a mí!
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,579
Un momento, ¿ojos saltones?
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,873
¿Estos sombreros
son siquiera Terry y Jesse?
00:18:00,873 --> 00:18:02,583
[pitido de señal de radio,
silbido]
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,917
¡Estamos arruinados,
estamos arruinados!
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,627
¡A la habitación de pánico!
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,506
[risa maligna]
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,049
No hagas esto, Korvo.
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,260
Piensa en lo que dijiste
hace dos segundos.
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,679
Al carajo con eso,
la situación es completamente distinta.
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,473
Cuando las barras se llenen,
los haré volar en pedazos.
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,976
¡Ah! ¡Guau!
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,228
¡Métete aquí!
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,273
¿Por qué lo llevaste de vuelta a la casa?
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,483
YUMYULACK: Lo lamento,
me metí demasiado en el personaje.
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:31,403
♪ música dramática ♪
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:32,446
Oh, carajo.
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,032
[chasquidos de cerrojo]
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:37,659
Uf.
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,703
KORVO:
¡Todo cargado, hora de morir!
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,122
[monitor crepitando]
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:45,834
Esa criatura pereció
para salvar mi vida.
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,003
Me haré un tatuaje de él en la espalda.
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,546
Ni siquiera sé su nombre.
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,591
AISHA: Era el Pupa,
y era muy importante,
00:18:52,591 --> 00:18:55,260
por eso los tres tenemos
que aclarar nuestra historia
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,720
sobre qué le pasó exactamente.
00:18:57,721 --> 00:19:00,307
[volptar ruge]
[todos gritan]
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,100
[volptar ruge]
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,898
AISHA:
Pupa, ¿estás vivo, cómo?
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,069
¡Te escondiste de la radiación
dentro del volptar!
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:14,196
De acuerdo. Bueno, me voy.
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,323
[en voz baja] No confío para nada
en esta computadora.
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,952
¡Yo tampoco! Ya he tenido suficiente
de esta scheisse de ciencia ficción.
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:22,913
¿Sabes? Es gracioso.
00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:25,374
Siempre he preguntado:
"¿Qué puede hacer el Sr. Marrón por ti?".
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:28,585
Pero esta es la primera vez
que alguien hace algo por el Sr. Marrón.
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,129
AISHA:
Guau, Pupa.
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,923
Realmente me enseñaste algo hoy,
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,758
que cada vida humana importa,
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,804
incluso por ese solitario tipo de UPS
valió la pena sacrificar tu propia...
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:39,888
¡Ponis!
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,766
AISHA: ¡Lo sabía!
No compres más juguetes con mi tarjeta.
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,518
Vas a arruinar mi crédito.
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:48,272
[Korvo riendo maniáticamente]
00:19:48,272 --> 00:19:50,232
¡Última puerta!
¡Van a morir!
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:52,109
Supongo que siempre
iba a terminar así.
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,652
La pasamos bien, Terry.
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:55,612
Solo me hubiera gustado
tener una luna de miel espectacular
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:58,448
como una gran tarta
de pizza solo una vez...
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:01,326
Ojalá hubiera encontrado
este sombrero de cubo antes de morir.
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:04,121
♪ música dramática ♪
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:04,913
[metal rechina]
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,125
Prepárense para conocer
a sus creadores, mentirosos hijos...
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,836
VOZ PROFUNDA:
Nacimientaños shlorpiano completo.
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:13,422
[chirrido de máquina]
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,383
Está bien, chicos.
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,343
- Pueden acercarse.
- ¿No estás más enojado?
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,636
Solo conmigo mismo.
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,180
Les dije la lección
que necesitaban escuchar
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,472
y luego inmediatamente no lo hice.
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,725
Fue como: "Al carajo esa lección,
voy a masacrarlos a todos".
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,559
Lo lamento.
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:29,479
El poder infinito
es intoxicante, siempre lo dije.
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,148
O espera,
¿era "Personajes Bienvenidos"?
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:32,357
Sé que dije una de esas frases.
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:35,235
Igual, la próxima vez que alguien
tenga un nacimientaños shlorpiano,
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,279
debemos confiar en que no matarán
al resto de nosotros.
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,030
¿Podemos hacerlo?
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,157
- Claro que sé.
- Absolutamente.
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:42,159
DOS MESES DESPUÉS
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,245
Ah, maldición.
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:46,538
Sí.
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:47,956
- ¡Guau! Qué loco.
- Muy bien.
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,125
Me siento como si
estuviera en el Air Force One.
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,335
¿Dónde conseguiste este juego?
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:52,336
De la Biblioteca Reagan.
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:54,463
Ahora recuerda, mantén
esas gafas bien puestas y apretadas
00:20:54,463 --> 00:20:55,506
para una máxima RV.
00:20:58,342 --> 00:20:59,593
Jesse es una víbora.
00:20:59,593 --> 00:21:01,261
Si pone sus manos
en esto estamos muertos.
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,763
Entonces digo que
lo metamos en la lavadora,
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:03,972
es el último lugar donde va a mirar.
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:05,015
Solo tiene un vestido.
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,433
¡Guau, miren eso!
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,935
Nancy le está haciendo
sexo oral a un tipo,
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:09,978
¿y es Clint Eastwood?
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,480
[suspira] Qué real.
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,023
[arcadas] Voy a vomitar.
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:15,692
No, espera. Tienes que ver
cómo se lo escupe en la cara.
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,987
[suspira] ¡Malditos hijos de perra!
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,781
- ¡Denme esa caja!
- ¡Corre!
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,115
JESSE:
¡Denme eso ahora!
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,951
¡Tengo mucha furia que liberar!
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:25,494
KORVO: Terry, toma.
TERRY: ¡Lo tengo!
00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:26,662
YUMYULACK: ¡Corran!
JESSE: ¡Dénmela!
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:28,956
¡Están arruinando
el regalo de mi nacimientaños!
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:29,873
[todos gritando indistintamente]
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:34,711
EN MEMORIA DE
BUDDY MICHAEL RYAN
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:39,967
♪ música dramática ♪
00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:43,136
♪
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:49,476
♪
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:55,983
♪
00:21:59,236 --> 00:22:02,447
♪
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:08,787
♪
00:22:15,127 --> 00:22:18,964
♪
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,216
[imitando fuego de láser]
eng__English_[SDH].srt
eng__English_[SDH].srt
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007
♪
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,926
TERRY:
Korvo, where's the food?
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:09,968
I'm hot-gry.
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,720
That's a combo of hot and hungry!
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,347
KORVO: You wouldn't be so hot
if you would stop eating
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,431
those sauna stones!
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,058
I like that hat, Yumyulack.
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,769
It really highlights the natural
bucket shape of your head.
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,854
Thanks, I've been auditioning
a lot of hats lately,
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,814
but I think I've finally found the one
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,733
that says, "This guy bounty hunts."
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,901
Dinner is served.
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,027
I made pot roast
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,030
because tonight is another
Solar Opposites family roast.
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:30,948
- Yes!
- Whoa!
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,698
- Alright! Woo-hoo!
- Yes, love roast night.
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,243
Yeah, I'm gonna bow out of this one.
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,954
I specifically made pot roast
so we could roast each other's balls.
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,623
This is our fun new vibe,
and the whole family has to embrace it.
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,000
Fourth one this week.
We're on a roast night roll, baby.
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,503
I thought you'd run out of "A" material
after you said
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:47,089
my face looks like the inside
of Venom's vagina.
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,383
I did. And then I stayed up
all night watching Sopranos
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,969
on one screen and Judd Apatow
extended-cut movies on the other.
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,471
Now, who wants to get their
non-existent nuts busted first?
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,889
Me, me, me, me, me, me!
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,974
Alright, here we go.
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,476
[clears throat] Terry is what you get
when the Jolly Green Giant
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,186
accidentally forgets to do leg day.
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,771
Oh, I went there!
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,147
[laughs] You got me.
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,191
Ooh, do me next, I skipped lunch.
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,402
Your polka dot dress
is more of a polka don't.
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,445
Oh no, he didn't.
Oh yes, he did!
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,739
[laughing] Thanks, Korvo!
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,907
And then there's Yumyulack.
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,118
Holy shit,
look at this fucking loser.
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,870
The only thing worse
than Yumyulack's ugly hat
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,496
is his piece-of-shit personality.
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,123
Oh, is that a bucket hat?
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,541
More like a bucket of who gives a fuck?
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,918
Oh, you are seriously
the ugliest, stupidest,
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,461
most hateable little shit.
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,005
You wear hats because you want
so badly to be human,
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,632
but you still will never be one
because you don't have a mom.
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,926
Oh, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-busted.
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:33,969
[Terry and Jesse laugh awkwardly]
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:34,845
Here's your slop.
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,305
Someone wanna roast me so I can eat?
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,556
Oh, I got one.
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,975
Korvo, you're so blue, the sky is like,
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,144
"Hey, gimme back my color."
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,020
Oh, gotcha.
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,522
Fuck you, Jesse.
I can't believe you would say that.
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,858
Words can hurt.
[sobbing]
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,236
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,363
until the asteroid hit.
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,408
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,160
and escaped into the... space,
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,954
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,206
We crashed on Earth,
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,499
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,126
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,336
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,004
My name is Korvo.
This is my show.
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,339
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,382
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,425
It's a horrible home.
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,135
People are stupid and confusing.
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,638
Why is the human gestation period
nine months,
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,056
and then they come out useless?
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,599
They should grow babies in pots.
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,601
Faster, easier,
and then after they're done,
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,311
you get to keep the pot as a hat!
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,439
♪ dramatic music ♪
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,653
♪ playful music ♪
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,238
AISHA:
That's how you play jacks?
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,656
Earth games are dumb as hell.
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,658
[alarm blares]
AUTOMATED VOICE: Warning, warning,
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,285
self-cleaning protocol initiated.
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,245
AISHA:
Dammit.
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:44,164
I told Korvo to clean up
the ship, but no,
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,500
he's too busy researching
disses and digs.
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,585
Huh?
AISHA: If it gets too dirty up in here,
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:52,130
an unstoppable bio-matter
eradication protocol kicks in
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,216
and I lose control
of the ship till it's over.
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,718
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Danger, radiation level rising.
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,972
Current output is one percent.
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,348
AISHA:
Don't worry, it's just a blast
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,768
of deadly teleron radiation
that purges all organic life.
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,353
No.
AISHA: We're safe in the cockpit,
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:10,190
but the rest of the ship is getting
that sick-ass teleron wipe.
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,025
There's too much clutter
in there anyhow,
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,236
food, toys, house plants.
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:17,531
Pretty sure I saw a UPS guy
wandering in a few days ago.
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,532
UPS?
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,033
AISHA:
Dude's lost as fuck.
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,370
The ship is way bigger on the inside
than on the outside.
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,288
Where are you going?
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,999
You're not going to save
the UPS guy, are you?
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,458
Don't go being a hero now.
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,170
[men yelling on TV]
[turns off TV]
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,754
Korvo, are we cool?
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,715
You-you seemed
pretty pissed last night
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,383
after I busted your balls.
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,385
You flipped over the table
and stormed out like all,
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,429
"Oh, fuck you!"
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,638
Remember that, Korvo?
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:42,973
No, I loved it.
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,017
I remember thinking
your roast was so funny
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,603
that I decided to slap my knee,
but I misjudged the distance
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:50,606
and accidentally slapped the table so hard
that it flipped over.
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,816
And the "Fuck you"
was at myself for being so strong.
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,359
And-and I stormed out real quick
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,695
because my Roblox subscription
was about to expire,
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,906
and I needed to re-up it
so I don't get kicked out of my guild!
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,240
Whoa!
[thudding]
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,242
- Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
- Wh-wh-what's wrong?
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,952
I was in the replicants' room,
stealing cigarettes--
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:04,828
Please stop doing that.
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,705
I saw a glowing green
birth-a-day present
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,583
on Yumyulack's bed,
and it was addressed to him.
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,709
Oh, really?
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629
Jesus face-fucking Christ,
that can only mean one thing.
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,423
Today must be Yumyulack's
Shlorpian birth-a-day!
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,133
Wait, are you trying to say birthday?
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,718
No, you sound stupid.
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,803
It's a Shlorpian word
that's totally different.
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,223
Birth-a-day, Shlorpian birth-a-day.
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,349
Jesus. Fuck.
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,143
Oh, my God, these replicants
know nothing about their heritage.
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,812
Every Shlorpian gets
one birth-a-day randomly
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:31,688
in their lifetime.
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,149
You know when it's here
because a glowing green present appears.
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,401
And then you have exactly one day
to open your present
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,986
and claim your birth-a-day powers.
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,571
Ooh, what kind of powers do you get?
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,614
That's the problem.
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,658
You're given a choice
between infinite wisdom
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,118
or powers
of infinite destruction.
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,912
Infinite wisdom sounds toit!
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,039
Maybe, no one knows,
it's never been picked.
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,624
Everyone chooses destruction.
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,501
A Shlorpian's birth-a-day
is their big chance
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,294
to get revenge on everyone
who's wronged them.
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,380
Back on Shlorp,
we had this one friend
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,090
by the name of Jason.
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,341
[Shlorpians screaming]
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:02,302
Run, it's Jason's birth-a-day!
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,179
[heavy footsteps thudding]
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:08,600
[Jason roaring]
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,479
I fuckin' hated working here!
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,355
[rubble clattering]
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,356
[Shlorpian yells]
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,275
Where the fuck you goin', dude?
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,110
You were a shitty boss.
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,321
Happy birth-a-day to me!
[Shlorpian yells]
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,197
[laser fires]
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,576
And Jason was a chill dude.
People treated him with respect.
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,578
Ah, geez.
Yumyulack isn't chill,
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:31,081
and we've really disrespected him lately
with all the ball busting.
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,583
Especially you, Korvo.
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,293
I saw him crying
into his bucket hat.
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,753
I hate it when people can dish it out
but they can't take it.
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,463
He'll most def use
his birth-a-day powers
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,923
to laser-eye vaporize us.
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,884
I don't wanna be zapped into ash.
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,219
I haven't even licked
a boy's inner butt yet.
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,054
We gotta do what we used
to do back on Shlorp.
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,764
Keep the birth-a-day boy
from finding out
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,765
it's their birth-a-day.
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,185
We must keep Yumyulack away
from his room at all costs.
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,520
That's right. I never got to kill anyone
on my birth-a-day
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,939
because my friends distracted me
until the clock ran out.
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,066
I was gonna kill my exes
so they couldn't talk to each other
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,068
about how I always brag
about sucking da mound
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,236
but I never actually do it.
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,404
Then that's the plan.
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,866
We have 12 hours to distract Yumyulack
and save the family.
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,285
Then we suck da mound.
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,080
AISHA: Alright.
That's the last of my ferns.
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,749
I'm not letting my Bloomscapes die
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:16,293
'cause y'all can't do
a weekly surface clean.
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,170
[winch whirs]
[Pupa moans]
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,339
AISHA: What are you doing
with my good winches?
00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,090
This is about the UPS guy.
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,509
You're going after his ass.
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,511
UPS, UPS!
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,555
AISHA: Dammit, Pupa.
Why do you have to have a moral code?
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,891
You can't go in there,
it's too big a risk.
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,726
You don't even know
if he's worth saving.
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,604
What if he likes defending Jordan Peterson
in comment threads?
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,022
I'm not lettin' you go in there.
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,941
[door rumbling]
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,860
Get back here,
don't you parkour away from me!
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,363
Pupa!
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,200
There's our favorite little alien.
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,952
Uh, hey,
what are you guys doing here?
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,079
You said martial arts was for toe suckers.
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,872
Toe sucking rules, dude!
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,624
How was karate rehearsal?
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,043
Awesome,
I got my fourth white belt today.
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:01,421
Check out my sick new move.
[grunts]
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,049
Jesus, you are more off-balance
than a donkey fucking--
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,092
That was great.
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,426
We thought we'd take you out to celebrate
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,928
this white belt thing we just heard about.
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,055
I appreciate the thought,
but I prefer to head home
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,640
so I can play
the new Madden in my room.
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,184
Forget the massively popular,
Good Charlotte-themed video game.
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,269
You could do that anytime,
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,896
but you only get one chance to celebrate
your fourth white belt.
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,106
Can we at least take you out to lunch?
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,315
I know the perfect place!
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,568
Okay, I did work up
a pretty good appetite
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,902
with all my respectful bowing.
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:24,695
Check it out.
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:26,780
[Jesse/Terry/Korvo snickering]
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,282
Very cool.
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,157
[alarm blaring]
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:33,203
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Danger, radiation level at 35 percent.
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,622
AISHA:
You heard that scary-ass voice.
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,458
If you gonna do this rescue bullshit,
then hurry up,
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,002
or you won't have time to get back.
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,380
By the way,
that compartment you're in now
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,716
is a giant unsolvable maze.
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,553
Every ship's got one,
stop looking at me like it's weird.
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,054
[alarm blaring]
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,639
[doors rumbling]
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,640
MAN:
Help!
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,020
Please, help!
00:07:58,604 --> 00:07:59,688
[Pupa screams]
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,941
♪ dramatic music ♪
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:09,114
AISHA: Damn, Pupa!
Your Daredevil powers fucked that maze up.
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,657
Thank you, kind creature.
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,534
AISHA:
Wait, that ain't the UPS guy.
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,620
Bro, how the hell did you get
onto my ship?
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,871
I'm an exterminator.
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,415
Got hired to come here a couple weeks ago
to spray for spiders,
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,418
and some giant horned bug
gored my leg.
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,004
AISHA: Oh, shit.
He's talking about a volptar.
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,172
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,633
AISHA: It's a dangerous
silica-based parasite
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,594
that must have crawled into the ship
when we were flying through space.
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,679
Volptars can survive radiation.
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,680
They're tough as shit!
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,265
[alarm blaring]
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,934
Thank you!
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:39,311
[winch whirring]
[man grunts]
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,562
AISHA:
Okay, he's back.
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,439
Now use the second hook for yourself.
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,690
[alarm blaring]
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,192
[door rumbling]
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,945
Pupa, get back here!
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,781
Dammit, I'm getting too orb for this shit.
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,245
This is the only restaurant
on this side of town
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,996
where you can smoke
your own brisket at the table
00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,541
and see the kid from
Two and a Half Men tending bar.
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,751
Ah, I'm just doing this
for a role, I swear.
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,670
This place has a ton
of five-star reviews.
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,505
And one zero-star review from a guy
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,841
who clearly just wanted
to complain about his divorce.
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:11,051
- [Yumyulack sniffs]
- Oh, it smells amazing.
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:11,885
When do we eat?
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,221
In four short hours,
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,557
we get to take the meat's temperature
for the first time.
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:17,766
YUMYULACK/KORVO/JESSE:
Ooh.
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,353
So, let's all settle in
for a nice, leisurely--
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,646
Oh, shit. Take me home.
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,690
- What is it? What's wrong?
- The waitress, I know her.
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,025
That's Tracey from school.
Hey, Tracey, over here!
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,235
Stop waving.
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,237
I accidentally sent her
a mound pic a few weeks ago.
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,281
It was embarrassing.
She left me on read.
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,366
He's such a fuck-up,
but we need to make him think it's cool.
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,119
Don't worry, Yum bear,
I bet it was a good pic.
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:40,497
- Oh, goddamn, Yum, that mound is tight.
- Tracey's out of her mind.
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,291
Usually, I would totally roast you,
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,501
but this is a quality mound.
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,753
Neat, how'd you get it
to glisten like that?
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,964
What? She's coming over, d'ah!
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,217
No wait. Um, uh, we have
something else planned for you.
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,886
It's a bounty hunting thing.
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,888
It's what defines you as a character.
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,474
So, what am I supposed to do here?
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,227
Here's Jerry O'Connell.
I think he's about to explain.
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,272
Welcome, Yumyulack,
to Jerry O'Connell's Battle O' Death.
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,399
A battle royale?
Fuck yes!
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067
Wish I could be there
with you in person,
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,236
but I've got so many other gigs.
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,197
Hell yeah, you do.
O'Connell works!
00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:16,200
Looks great too.
His smile is almost wider than his face.
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,119
JERRY: Twenty combat
and survival experts plus one alien
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,288
will hunt each other
in our warehouse complex
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,332
filled with weapons and booby traps.
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:25,459
Every three hours,
the playing field shrinks,
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,377
last man standing wins.
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,546
- Sounds good. Wish me luck.
- You got this.
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:30,464
Kick ass, buddy.
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,174
See you in six hours or so.
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,050
[alarm blares]
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,343
[gunfire and explosions]
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,720
That should occupy Yumyulack
for the rest of his birth-a-day.
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,138
You know,
despite the fact he's hosting
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,390
a deadly Hunger Squid Game
Battle Royale,
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,309
O'Connell seems like a great guy.
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,144
You guys, I freaking won!
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,479
That was a blast.
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,522
Some of those guys were tough.
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:47,856
So, what are we doing now?
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,941
KORVO/JESSE:
Uh--
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,359
[alarm blaring]
AUTOMATED VOICE: Danger,
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,195
radiation level at 60 percent.
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,321
[alarm blaring]
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,114
[volptar growling]
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,574
[footsteps thudding]
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,742
AISHA:
That's the volptar!
00:10:58,742 --> 00:10:59,993
Run, Pupa!
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,203
[volptar roars]
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:01,995
[Pupa yells]
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,289
AISHA:
Watch out for the pit.
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,916
That shit's got no bottom.
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,793
That's where I throw used batteries.
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,545
I know what you're thinkin',
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:13,173
you wanna use those flares
to propel your ass down the pit.
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,717
What the? Where did you get
that Rocketeer mask?
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,428
You better not have bought that
with my Discover card.
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,097
Pupa, no!
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:23,642
♪ heroic music ♪
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:31,066
♪
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,401
[woman screaming]
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:35,404
Guten tag, tiny creature!
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,614
Danke for the hug!
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:40,868
[woman grunts]
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,829
Ah, it feels so strange not to be falling.
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,331
I've been in that pit
for two whole wochen.
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,083
AISHA: How the hell did you get
in there, German lady?
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,335
I Airbnb-ed a room on this spaceship.
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,838
AISHA: Now, now, now hold it
right there, Pupa.
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,506
I know you wanna use
your last rope
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,175
to send the socks
and sandals lady back
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,302
so you can keep looking
for the UPS man, but--
00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,136
[winch rattles]
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:01,763
That's right, I stuck
a wrench in your winch,
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,433
so you can't save
this lady's life until I say so.
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,810
Either you clip yourself in too
and come back with her
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,146
or you both die of radiation,
up to you.
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,522
Please, don't let me die.
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,400
Not before I've seen
the Straits of Mackinac.
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,279
AISHA: Thank you.
How hard was that?
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,823
[woman screams]
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:22,326
AISHA: Sorry, Pupa.
I know you wanted to--
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,536
Son of a bitch!
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,413
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Extreme danger,
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,124
radiation level at 80 percent.
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,668
Okay, we got one more thing planned.
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,505
Just keep that bucket hat down.
A little further.
00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:36,798
And... now!
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,052
[gasps]
The Hat On A Hat Hat Factory?
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,554
No way. They're my favorite
North American hat brand.
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,806
- How'd you know?
- We looked at your search history.
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,059
It was all hats, cats, and felching picks.
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:51,104
Come on, let's go.
We got you the four-hour VIP tour.
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,777
JESSE: Oh.
YUMYULACK: Holy shit,
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,403
that's Barry Hatfield.
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:01,073
He's the designing mastermind
behind all their best headwear!
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,033
Mastermind, please,
this guy's a clown.
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,576
He's clearly about to do
some kind of Willy Wonka--
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,869
[clown horn beeps]
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,455
Oh, wow, your legs do work!
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:09,915
Indeed.
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:11,667
Greetings and welcome
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,419
to the Hat On A Hat
Hat Factory VIP Tour.
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,130
'Tis I, Barry Hatfield.
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,091
Shall we begin?
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:20,717
Fuck yes.
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,804
♪ Come on, let's go ♪
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,265
♪ And I'll show you hats ♪
00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:28,976
♪ Of different shapes and sizes ♪
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,104
♪ Stetsons, fedoras ♪
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:33,647
♪ Sailor caps ♪
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:37,609
♪ And Gatsbys too ♪
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:38,777
This song sucks shit.
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:39,945
Let it go, man.
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,154
Let it go.
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,116
♪ We melt down felt
and press it into hats ♪
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:47,327
♪ In a process
that meets EPA standards ♪
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,664
♪ We just reopened
our porkpie wing ♪
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:56,086
♪ And it's asbestos-free ♪
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,755
Oh, oh, yeah!
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,841
Yumyulack, would you like
to learn the secret
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,468
to how we make our everlasting flat brims?
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,679
[gasps] That's one of
the most tightly kept secrets
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,389
in all of the haberdashdom!
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,808
Oof, that was some
real candy-ass bullshit.
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,810
That song did just kinda peter out.
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,104
I cannot wait to bust
Yumyulack's balls about it.
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,981
If you thought I was bad before,
wait until tomorrow.
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,025
Mm, I can almost taste the pot roast.
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,693
Actually, we were kind of hoping
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,362
to keep the pause going
on the whole ball-busting thing
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,448
even after Yumyulack's birth-a-day.
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,282
What?
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:28,410
Today's my birth-a-day,
and you hid it from me?
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,621
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, Yum, I'm so sorry.
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:31,580
How could you?
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:34,958
I was gonna use my birth-a-day powers
to do so much cool stuff.
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,753
Oh, yeah? Because we were scared
you were gonna be violent with it.
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,796
I was just gonna use my powers
to make them show me
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,840
an early cut of Solo 2: Solo-er.
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,635
Oh, and I was gonna kill everyone,
starting with you two!
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,011
TERRY/JESSE: Ah!
KORVO: Oh! No!
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,930
- Ah, the felt!
- Oh no!
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,598
- It's burning!
- We knew you were bad!
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,350
Oh, oh, Terry, Jesse, no!
[Terry/Jesse shouting indistinctly]
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,601
BOTH:
Ah!
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:55,562
♪ intense music ♪
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,398
[machinery clanking, hissing]
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,358
[bell dings]
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:01,485
My family got milned into hats
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:04,112
just like the fortune cookie
said they would!
00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:10,160
Oh, my God.
Terry, Jesse, can you hear me?
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,621
You fuck.
You turned them into the lamest thing!
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,248
When I open my birth-a-day present,
00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:15,666
you're gonna wish
you were a hat.
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:20,796
♪ dramatic music ♪
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:23,131
[car tires screech]
[cars honking]
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,343
[cars honking]
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,178
[car honks]
KORVO: Hold on.
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,972
This chase sequence looks familiar.
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,099
Are these cheap bastards reusing animation
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,017
from when Jesse chased
you home that one time?
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,686
No way, this is different!
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,896
[dog barks, growls]
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,439
Ah! Ah! Oh God.
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,275
Oh, oh, help me.
Ah, ah!
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:42,234
Oh!
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:49,116
It is the same, th-th-that's the dog
that bit you before.
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,993
Don't you dare use it to get past me.
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,536
Fuck you,
that's exactly what I'm doing.
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,746
[alarm blaring]
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,790
AISHA:
Pupa, get out of my engine room...
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,375
you know it's not safe... here.
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:01,628
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Radiation building, 98 percent.
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,504
[UPS Guy whimpers]
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,464
Help! Please help!
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,009
AISHA [voice glitching]:
No, Pupa, you're not gonna make it.
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,678
♪ heroic music ♪
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,763
Who are you?
What are you?
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,849
[bone cracks]
Ah!
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,726
[alarm continues blaring]
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:18,520
♪ suspenseful music ♪
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,105
- AUTOMATED VOICE: 99.6 percent.
- Let it go, man.
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,773
Yeah, I'll get fired, but fuck 'em.
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,442
They make me pee in my truck!
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:27,738
AUTOMATED VOICE: Warning,
radiation buildup is now at 99.8 percent.
00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:30,574
Emitters are spooling,
purge imminent.
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,160
♪ dramatic music ♪
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:36,371
Volptar!
[volptar screeches]
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,081
AISHA:
Pupa, watch out!
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,583
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Warning, danger,
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,543
initiating teleron wipe.
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,754
[volptar screeches]
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:45,881
[explosion booms]
00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:47,925
Korvo?
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,510
Korvo! [grunts]
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,221
Get out of my way.
00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:54,389
Look, I understand
y-you're about to wreck me
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,432
with your birth-a-day powers,
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,727
but before you do that,
I just wanna say I'm sorry.
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,688
You are? For what?
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,023
We shouldn't have lied to you.
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,942
We should have trusted you
to do the right thing
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,193
instead of thinking the worst.
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,069
Yeah, that's right.
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,071
And I'm sorry I busted
your balls so hard.
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:12,157
The truth is, I have thin skin.
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,284
Literally, it's a clinical condition
I was born with
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,327
that I've hidden from everyone.
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:16,995
It makes me lash out
when I feel attacked.
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,956
Thanks for opening up
to me about it.
00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:21,166
I had no idea you were
carrying that burden.
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,417
I know it's just you and me now
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,795
because you killed half the family
by turning them into hats.
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:27,464
But I'd love to turn a new page
in how we treat each other.
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,173
What do you say?
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,216
You know what, Korvo?
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,801
If you really mean what you just said,
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:33,720
then okay, I'm good with letting
my birth-a-day clock run down.
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,097
Really, you are?
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,391
Yeah, wanna go watch
Hunt for Red October 2:
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:38,517
The Search for Green November?
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:41,436
Wait a hot fucking second.
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,772
You hate that movie,
and the Yumyulack I know
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,065
would never cave that quick.
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,775
Wait, don't, that's my present!
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,402
"To Korvo"?
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:51,572
Oh, my God,
it's my Shlorpian birth-a-day.
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,407
You guys pretended
to distract Yumyulack
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:56,076
while the whole time
you were actually distracting me!
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,579
Wait a minute, googly eyes?
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,873
Are these hats even Terry and Jesse?
00:18:00,873 --> 00:18:02,583
[radio signal beeping, hissing]
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,917
We're blown, we're blown!
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,627
To the panic room!
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,506
[evil laughter]
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,049
Don't do this, Korvo.
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,260
Think back to what you said
two seconds ago.
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,679
Fuck you,
completely different situation.
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,473
When I hit full bars,
your asses are grasses.
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,976
Oh, ah! Whoa!
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,228
Get in here!
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,273
Why did you lead him back to the house?
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,483
YUMYULACK: I'm sorry,
I got way too into character.
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:31,403
♪ dramatic music ♪
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:32,446
Oh, shit.
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,032
[lock clicking]
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:37,659
Phew.
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,703
KORVO:
All charged up, time to die!
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,122
[monitor crackling]
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:45,834
That creature perished
to save mein life.
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,003
I will get a tattoo of him on my back.
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,546
I don't even know his name.
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,591
AISHA: He was the Pupa,
and he was very important,
00:18:52,591 --> 00:18:55,260
which is why the three of us
need to get our story straight
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,720
about what exactly happened to him.
00:18:57,721 --> 00:19:00,307
[volptar roars]
[all scream]
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,100
[volptar roars]
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,898
AISHA:
Pupa, you're alive, how?
00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:12,069
You hid from the radiation
inside the volptar!
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:14,196
Alright, well, I'm gonna go.
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,323
I don't trust this computer at all.
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,952
Me neither, I've had quite enough
of this sci-fi scheisse.
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:22,913
Ya know, it's funny.
00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:25,374
I've always asked,
"What can Brown do for you?"
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:28,585
But this is the first time
somebody did something for Brown.
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,129
AISHA:
Wow, Pupa.
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,923
You really taught me something today,
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,758
that every human life matters,
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,804
even that lonely UPS guy
was worth sacrificing your own--
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:39,888
Ponies!
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,766
AISHA: I knew it,
you need to quit putting toys on my card.
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,518
You gonna fuck up my credit.
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:48,272
[Korvo laughing maniacally]
00:19:48,272 --> 00:19:50,232
KORVO: Last door.
You guys are fucked.
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,109
I suppose it was always
gonna end like this.
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,652
We had a good run, Terry.
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:55,612
I just wish that
the moon had hit my eye
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:58,448
like a big pizza pie just-a-once-a.
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:01,326
At least I found
this bucket hat before I died.
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:04,121
♪ dramatic music ♪
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:04,913
[metal clinks]
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,125
Prepare to meet your makers,
you lying--
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,836
DEEP VOICE:
Shlorpian birth-a-day complete.
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:13,422
[machine whirs]
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,383
It's fine, you guys.
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,343
- You can come over.
- You aren't still mad?
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,636
Just at myself.
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,180
I told you the lesson
I needed to hear,
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,472
and then I immediately didn't do it.
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,725
I was like, "Fuck that lesson,
I'm gonna slaughter you all."
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,559
I-I'm sorry.
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:29,479
Infinite power is intoxicating,
I always said that.
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,148
Or wait, was it "Characters Welcome"?
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:32,357
I know I said one of 'em.
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:35,235
Either way, the next time
someone has Shlorpian birth-a-day,
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,279
we need to trust
they won't kill the rest of us.
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,030
Can we do that?
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,157
- You bet.
- Absolutely.
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:42,159
♪
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,245
Oh, fuck.
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:46,538
Yeah.
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:47,956
- Whoa! Crazy.
- Alright, nice.
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,125
I feel like I'm actually
on Air Force One.
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,335
Where'd you get this game?
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:52,336
The Reagan Library.
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:54,463
Now, now remember,
keep those goggles on good and tight
00:20:54,463 --> 00:20:55,506
for maximum VR.
00:20:58,342 --> 00:20:59,593
Jesse's a total snake.
00:20:59,593 --> 00:21:01,261
If she gets her hands on this,
we're dead.
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,763
Then I say we stuff it
in the washing machine.
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:03,972
It's the last place she's gonna look.
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:05,015
She only has one outfit.
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,433
Whoa, look at that!
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,935
Nancy's giving some guy a hummer,
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:09,978
and it's Clint Eastwood?
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,480
[gasps] Too real.
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,023
[gags] I'm gonna puke.
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:15,692
Oh, no, wait. You have to see
how she spits it in his face.
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,987
[gasps] You motherfuckers.
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,781
- Give me that box!
- Run!
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,115
JESSE:
Give me that right now.
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,951
I have a lot of anger to work out!
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:25,494
KORVO: Terry, heads up.
TERRY: Got it!
00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:26,662
YUMYULACK: Run!
JESSE: Give it back!
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:28,956
You're ruining my birth-a-day!
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:29,873
[all screaming]
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:39,967
♪ dramatic theme ♪
00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:43,136
♪
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,216
[mimicking laser fire]
Скриншоты


























