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Супер гублеры
The Super Gooblers
Сезон: 04Серия: 08
Описание
Когда шлорпианцы испытывают стресс, из их тел начинают выходить маленькие безобидные существа гублеры. При сильном же стрессе появляются большие гублеры. В редких случаях может появиться агрессивный красный гублер. Такой ранее уже выходил из Корво. Оказалось, что из инопланетян уже вышло некоторое количество больших гублеров, но они скрывали их друг от друга. Вся компания отправляется на ранчо брошенных животных Кейли Куоко, чтобы оставить там своих гублеров. Пупа преследует богатую напыщенную взрослую женщину, чтобы помочь ей исправиться, таким образом, сделав мир чуточку лучше.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 HULU PRESENTA
- 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005 UN ORIGINAL DE HULU
- 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
- 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,342 ♪ música suave ♪
- 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,511 Ah, ¿en serio, Hamsterdam?
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,346 ¡Carajo! Me debes un millón de dólares
- 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,223 porque hay muchos Hamsters holandeses que viven allí.
- 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,475 ¿Cómo vas a ganar al Monopoly: <i>The Wire Edition</i>
- 00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,809 si nunca viste la serie?
- 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,436 ¿Por qué no te quejas de tu McNutty de peltre?
- 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,271 Eso es lo que te pone en lugares de porquería.
- 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,564 Por favor, dame un ocho.
- 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,942 ¡Llévame a ese bar donde los estibadores bebían huevos!
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,611 ¡Maldita sea! ¿Hamsterdam otra vez?
- 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,696 ¡Bienvenida al infierno, Jessica! ¡Ja ja ja!
- 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,989 ¡Ahora paga, pequeña delincuente!
- 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,825 ¡Pero no me queda dinero! ¡Uh!
- 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:37,371 ¡Odio este estúpido juego! ¡Hay demasiada presión!
- 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,456 [tose, tiene arcadas]
- 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,207 [ambos suspiran con asombro]
- 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:42,876 [golpe]
- 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:43,377 [Yumyulack/Terry/Korvo suspiran]
- 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,587 ¿Es un Bobo Blanco?
- 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,005 Es un gran acontecimiento.
- 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,716 Estoy por ganar un juego de mesa por primera vez.
- 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,178 KORVO: <i>El planeta Shlorp era una utopía perfecta</i>
- 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,138 <i>hasta que se estrelló el asteroide.</i>
- 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,308 <i>Cien adultos y sus réplicas recibieron un Pupa</i>
- 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,018 <i>y escaparon al... espacio,</i>
- 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,729 <i>en busca de nuevos hogares en mundos deshabitados.</i>
- 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,939 <i>Nos estrellamos en la Tierra</i>
- 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,316 <i>y quedamos varados en un planeta ya sobrepoblado.</i>
- 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,901 <i>Así es, yo he estado hablando todo este tiempo.</i>
- 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,152 <i>Soy el que sostiene al Pupa.</i>
- 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,904 <i>Me llamo Korvo. Este es mi programa.</i>
- 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,239 <i>¡Joder, se me acaba de caer el Pupa!</i>
- 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,366 <i>Ah. Esto es ridículo. Odio la Tierra.</i>
- 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,409 <i>Es un hogar horrible.</i>
- 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,994 <i>La gente es estúpida y confusa.</i>
- 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,579 <i>Tienen un restaurante llamado Applebee's</i>
- 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,039 <i>y no llaman a sus aperitivos apple-ritivos.</i>
- 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,165 <i>¡Eso es una idiotez!</i>
- 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,294 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:28,714 [bobo quejándose]
- 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,300 Vaya, ¿cómo pudiste toser un bobo tan asqueroso?
- 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,968 Ni siquiera sabía que se podían hacer blancos.
- 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,803 Es del mismo tamaño que el Bobo Rojo.
- 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,930 Espera un momento. ¿Vas a decir "vete al carajo"
- 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,182 e intentar matarnos?
- 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,684 Oh, no, no quiero ser una carga.
- 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,186 No puedo ser una madre adolescente.
- 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,979 ¡Ni siquiera tengo un tatuaje en el cuello!
- 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,063 Esto no tiene sentido.
- 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,024 ¿Por qué Jesse y yo íbamos a hacer bobos tan feos
- 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:47,900 y ustedes no?
- 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,359 Porque somos superiores en todo...
- 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,903 Carajo, espera un minuto.
- 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,613 [bobo se queja]
- 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,825 Olvidé que tosí un bobo color lavanda la semana pasada.
- 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,327 - ¿Tenía que informar de eso? - ¡Sí!
- 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,537 ¡Mi Bobo Rojo sigue por ahí conspirando para matarme!
- 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,830 ¡Estas cosas pueden ser peligrosas!
- 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,624 Mm, no parecen peligrosos.
- 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,126 Ah, sí, sí, eso eso, justo ahí.
- 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,836 Dámelo. A papá le gusta.
- 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,088 Este debe ser un Bobo Romántico,
- 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,673 porque yo soy tan romántico.
- 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,634 Eso es un bobo cachondo del demonio,
- 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,468 y lo sabes bien.
- 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,262 ¿Así que todos tenemos nuevos bobo excepto Terry?
- 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,388 ¿Qué sentido tiene eso?
- 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,391 Se supone que tenemos que informar de los bobos raros, ¿eh?
- 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,185 ¡No me digas que tú también tosiste uno!
- 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,061 No lo hice.
- 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,521 Bueno, gracias a nuestros dioses shlorpianos...
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,439 - Hice cinco. - ¿Qué?
- 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,441 ¡Y aquí están los bobos de Terry!
- 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,194 - Bobo Clepto. - Bobo Disco Criterion.
- 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,029 [se queja] Bobo Envidioso.
- 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,155 Bobo Bebé
- 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,950 porque a Terry le encanta decir "bebéeeee", "bebéeeeee".
- 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,992 Bobo Kimmie.
- 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,953 Volví a ver <i>Padres forzosos</i> tres veces
- 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,412 y luego vomité ese pequeño chicle.
- 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,247 Vaya, chicos.
- 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,624 ¿Por qué estamos haciendo todos estos bobos coloridos ahora?
- 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,292 Bueno, esa es una pregunta tonta, Jessica.
- 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,753 Actúas como si no supieras nada de anatomía shlorpiana.
- 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,548 Obviamente, cada 100.000 veces que nos estresamos y hacemos un bobo,
- 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,924 aparece uno grande y rojo.
- 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,050 Pero ninguno de estos es rojo.
- 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,885 Muy bien, yo tampoco sé qué carajo pasa.
- 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,012 Todos agarren sus bobos y vamos a preguntarle a Aisha.
- 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,806 Odio cuando tenemos que preguntar cosas a la nave,
- 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,266 nos hace ver como tontos.
- 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,559 BOBO LAVANDA: [se queja] Ah, sí.
- 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,977 ♪ música etérea ♪
- 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,729 ¡Pupa! ¿Cómo sigues consiguiendo Starbursts?
- 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,315 Sabes que esos de plátano y kiwi te dan pesadillas a lo <i>Tron.</i>
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,942 ¿Alguna vez has pensado que, en lugar de dedicarte
- 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,236 a esos largos e innecesariamente complicados planes
- 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,904 para conseguir caramelos o silbatos de Harry Potter,
- 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,823 podrías utilizar ese enorme cerebro de Pupa
- 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,157 para hacer del mundo un lugar mejor?
- 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,118 Sí, Pupa, la satisfacción que obtienes
- 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,288 de hacer del mundo un lugar mejor sabría mucho mejor
- 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,206 que cualquier Starbursts viejo.
- 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,833 AISHA: <i>Muy bien, tontos,</i>
- 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,169 <i>prepárense para aprender algo de Shlorpiano 101.</i>
- 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,755 [proyector sonando] [pitido de cuenta regresiva]
- 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,341 NARRADOR SHLORPIANO: <i>El cuerpo shlorpiano está diseñado</i>
- 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,970 <i>para eliminar el exceso de acumulación emocional con la emisión de bobos,</i>
- 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,263 <i>pequeñas criaturas danzantes</i>
- 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,600 <i>que mantienen sus productos químicos no deseados en sus vientres.</i>
- 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,101 <i>Los bobos se emiten,</i>
- 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,562 <i>y luego bailarán su adorable y pequeña giga,</i>
- 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,563 <i>hasta que mueran.</i>
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,816 <i>Sin embargo, si un shlorpiano tiene demasiadas emociones negativas,</i>
- 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:56,570 <i>el sistema Bobo producirá un Súper Bobo.</i>
- 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,947 <i>Más grande, más malo, más inteligente,</i>
- 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,992 <i>el Súper Bobo está diseñado para eliminar a los shlorpianos</i>
- 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,535 <i>con problemas emocionales,</i>
- 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,579 <i>eliminándolos del equipo de terraformación,</i>
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,331 <i>protegiendo en última instancia a la misión.</i>
- 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,457 <i>¡Vete al carajo!</i>
- 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,584 NARRADOR SHLORPIANO: <i>Si haces un Súper Bobo,</i>
- 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,586 <i>es mejor dejar que te mate,</i>
- 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,423 <i>para que tu equipo pueda comer los nutrientes de tu cuerpo.</i>
- 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:20,636 Esperen, ¿así que todos estos pequeños van a crecer para matarnos?
- 00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,804 No puede ser. El mío era un bobo por estrés.
- 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,056 Estos son todos muy agradables.
- 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,683 ¡Cuando crezca, ya vas a ver, bebéeeee!
- 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,060 [todos los bobos gritando]
- 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,061 Bobo.
- 00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,979 [todos gritan]
- 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649 Estos Súper Bobos son espeluznantes.
- 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,483 Tenemos que hacer algo.
- 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,069 Quiero averiguar qué es mi bobo
- 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,487 antes de hacer algo.
- 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,531 ¿Qué emoción estaba teniendo demasiado?
- 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:43,075 ¿Ser un rayo de sol en un día nublado?
- 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,786 Quizás sea una mala idea, pero debemos hacer algo.
- 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,038 ¿Y si los tiramos en el contenedor detrás de Pizza Hut?
- 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,540 Bien, ese es un buen plan.
- 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,332 ¡Sí!
- 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,209 Basándonos en lo que dijo Yumyulack,
- 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,961 deberíamos ponerlos en bolsas de basura
- 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,213 antes de tirarlos al contenedor detrás de Pizza Hut.
- 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,174 Mmm, me gusta mucho esta idea. Ahora a buscarlos.
- 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,802 Quiero tenerlos en ese contenedor antes de que empiecen a apuñalarnos.
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,597 [bobos gritando]
- 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,266 [bobos golpeando]
- 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,351 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,187 [grita] ¡Ah! No me pongas en la bolsa, mejillas dulces.
- 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,772 Ah, pequeña Kimmie.
- 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,358 ¡Korvo, detente! ¡Cambié de opinión! No puedo matar a mis bobos.
- 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,192 ¿Qué? ¿Por qué no?
- 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,569 ¡Porque son como mis hijos, maldita sea!
- 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,570 Y son muy lindos,
- 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,988 y no están tratando de matar a nadie todavía.
- 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,989 ¡Pronto lo harán!
- 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,408 Ah, yo tampoco quiero matar a los míos.
- 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,285 Solo mira la definición pélvica.
- 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,954 Saben, tal vez algunos puedan cambiar sus vidas
- 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,289 con un poco de amor y atención.
- 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,623 El maldito cristal nos acaba de decir
- 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,084 que si no hacemos algo crecerán y luego nos matarán.
- 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,295 La muerte por bobo es una forma muy baja de morir.
- 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:39,548 ¡Idea! Podemos enviarlos al Rancho Cuoco-monga
- 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,466 de Kaley Cuoco para Bestias Varias y Dónde Abandonarlas.
- 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,385 Inventar algo estúpido no ayudará, Terry.
- 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,095 ¡Lo sé, pero esta vez digo la verdad!
- 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,348 Es un rancho de rescate de no matar, propiedad de Kaley Cuoco de Priceline.
- 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,225 Es donde he enviado a todas las serpientes de Yumyulack.
- 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,059 ¿Están vivas?
- 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,519 Me dijiste que les cortabas la cabeza
- 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,022 y las dejabas en la acera de advertencia para otras serpientes.
- 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,106 ¡Qué buena noticia!
- 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,900 Terry, muy acertada tu idea. Este es el plan.
- 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,776 Todos empaquen sus cosas y encuéntrenme en el auto.
- 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,945 - Es hora de... - ¡Esperen, esperen! ¿Puedo decirlo? ¿Sí?
- 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,447 Por favor, ¿puedo decirlo? ¡Por favor!
- 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,782 - ¡Korvo, por favor! - Claro, amigo. Dilo.
- 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,036 ¡Los Solar Opposites se van de viaje por carretera!
- 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,662 ¡Sí, bebéeeee!
- 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:11,872 [bocina sonando]
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,417 ¡Todos a bordo del súper famoso autobús <i>Casi Famosos</i> de Terry!
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,545 Abróchense los cinturones porque papá Terry hizo este autobús
- 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,673 con el tema de su película favorita de viajes por carretera, <i>¡Speed!</i>
- 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,926 ¡Si vamos a menos de 50, explotamos!
- 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,095 ¿Se acuerdan? Dennis Hopper tiene esa pequeña mano fea.
- 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,222 [explosión]
- 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,765 [golpes del metal]
- 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,225 [suena bocina]
- 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,227 ¡Bueno, esta vez papá nos consiguió un autobús normal
- 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,395 con casi ninguna bomba, bebéeeee!
- 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,022 ¡Sí, bebéeeee!
- 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,275 ♪ música de rock ♪
- 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,320 ♪
- 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,238 [mujer grita]
- 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,156 [motor acelerando]
- 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,284 ♪
- 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:58,168 ♪
- 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,086 [disparo de arma de plasma]
- 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,880 [Solars y bobos riendo]
- 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,675 ♪ música de rock ♪
- 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,761 Psst, oye, Yum. ¿Qué crees que es mi bobo?
- 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,638 ¿Tal vez es como un bobo dulce o algo así?
- 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,266 ¡Jess-ica, tu bobo es un bobo para molestar!
- 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,560 ¡Ocupa mucho espacio, y es un peso muerto
- 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,562 sin nada que ofrecer al mundo, y todos lo odian!
- 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,230 Ah, bien. Quizás lo sea.
- 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,232 ¡Deja de jugar con esa pistola, imbécil!
- 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,149 [disparo] [Korvo grita]
- 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,033 JESSE: La satisfacción que obtienes de hacer del mundo un lugar mejor
- 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,495 sabría mucho mejor que cualquier viejo Starbursts.
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,878 No me importa cuántos gansos se ahogaron en el alquitrán negro
- 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,171 frente a la costa de Santa Bárbara,
- 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,840 quiero mis plataformas petroleras en funcionamiento para mañana
- 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,967 o tus huérfanos adoptados pueden morir de hambre.
- 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,345 Ay, Dios. No puedes tener la semana que viene libre, Alice.
- 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,347 No me importa en qué etapa esté tu cáncer.
- 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,932 Sí, Srta. Brandy.
- 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:54,892 [solloza]
- 00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:57,686 ♪ música dramática ♪ [grita]
- 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,897 ¿Qué carajo se supone que eres?
- 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:00,898 ¡Fuera de aquí!
- 00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:01,857 Cocomelon.
- 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,859 Cocom... eh... ¿De qué hablas?
- 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:04,985 ¡Dije que te fueras!
- 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,445 [florero se rompe]
- 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,906 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,615 [portazo]
- 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,827 - PUPA: ¿Cocomelon? - ¡Ah!
- 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,163 ¡Ay, Dios mío! ¿Qué quieres?
- 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,625 ♪ música de rock ♪
- 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,376 LAS PELÍCULAS DE TRUFFAUT
- 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,503 ♪
- 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,880 [bosteza] Solo 14 horas más hasta el rancho,
- 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,089 y podré conocer a Kaley.
- 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,217 Un minuto. Falta algo.
- 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:32,012 Uno, dos, cuatro, cinco. ¡Carajo! ¿Dónde está mi Bobo Clepto?
- 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,139 Tal vez lo dejamos en el local de comida escocesa
- 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:34,932 en el que paramos.
- 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,683 - ¿Quieres decir McDonald's? - ¡Carajo!
- 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,311 Probablemente todavía está allí, robando todos los toppings del McFlurry.
- 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,646 - Tenemos que volver. - ¡No, Terry!
- 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:41,522 Ya se nos hizo tarde
- 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,524 porque pasamos mucho tiempo en el McPlayPlace.
- 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,400 Creo que mi bobo está creciendo.
- 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,818 ¿Cómo puedes perder tus bobos?
- 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,445 ¡Ese es el objetivo de este viaje por carretera!
- 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,114 Solo digo que si traes a un hijo de perra a un PlayPlace,
- 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,533 el hijo de perra va a jugar.
- 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,160 [agua chapoteando]
- 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,370 [puerta se abre, se cierra]
- 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,957 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,000 - Cocomelon. - ¡Carajo!
- 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,252 De acuerdo, no eres real.
- 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,461 Eres un efecto secundario
- 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,630 de mis coronas vaginales de gominola de ayahuasca Goop.
- 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,091 Solo voy a tomar algunas de mis píldoras de cuerno de rinoceronte
- 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,468 que solo la gente rica tiene, y te irás.
- 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,386 [píldoras tintinean] [traga]
- 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,097 - ¿Cocomelon? - [grita] ¿Sabes qué?
- 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,139 ¡Al carajo!
- 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,183 ¿Cómo te atreves a sentarte ahí juzgándome
- 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,476 con tus ojos de monstruo de galleta?
- 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,185 Cocomelon.
- 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,687 No puedes juzgarme.
- 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,274 ¡Solo mis amantes pueden juzgarme porque eso me excita!
- 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,525 Elijo la soledad
- 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,402 porque estuve enamorada antes y apesta.
- 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,486 Cocomelon.
- 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,905 - ¡Un minuto, eres feliz viviendo en los suburbios de Kansas City, - Cocomelon. Cocomelon.
- 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,699 - y al siguiente, tu amante sale en <i>Clueless</i> - Cocomelon. Cocomelon.
- 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,951 - y luego tiene una carrera de actor de 30 años - Cocomelon. Cocomelon.
- 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,369 - y nunca envejece! - ¡Cocomelon!
- 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,122 ¡Que te calles! ¡Me cansé de ti!
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,834 [tira agua]
- 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,382 [Brandy suspira]
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,258 Cocomelon.
- 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,010 [Brandy grita]
- 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:56,680 ♪ música de rock ♪
- 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:01,643 ♪
- 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,937 "PARA BESTIAS VARIAS Y DONDE ABANDONARLAS"
- 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,441 ♪ música animada ♪
- 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,235 YUMYULACK: [suspira] ¡Ay, Dios! ¿Esa es Kaley Cuoco?
- 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,987 No, esperen, esta señora solo tiene una oreja.
- 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,238 ¡Kaley tiene dos orejas!
- 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,699 ¿Qué carajo? ¡Quiero abandonar a mis animales con Kaley!
- 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,994 Soy la doble de Kaley Cuoco, Kwelly Cloakawoko.
- 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:22,164 Perdí mi oreja cuando el anillo casero de <i>Linterna Verde</i> de Sheldon explotó
- 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,373 en el set de <i>Big Bang.</i>
- 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,628 ¡Bienvenidos al Rancho Cuoco-monga de Kaley Cuoco!
- 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,630 Dejemos a estas criaturas deformes,
- 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,089 ¡y les daré el recorrido!
- 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,134 Recibimos a todos los animales
- 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,719 que nadie más quiere tocar:
- 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,014 ligres, lobos de mediana edad, pitones albinas.
- 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,973 YUMYULACK: ¡Mis serpientes!
- 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,851 ¡Anaconor y Lahissa, están bien!
- 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,228 ¿Qué les gustaría abandonar?
- 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,104 Tenemos varios paquetes personalizables
- 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,274 que van desde $29.99 a $8.57 millones.
- 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,400 Seguro que esto les pasa seguido,
- 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,027 tenemos media docena de Súper Bobos
- 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,862 que acabarán matándonos, así que, ya sabes,
- 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,532 tenemos que dejarlos con ustedes antes de que nos apuñalen.
- 00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,408 ¿Media docena? ¿Se refiere a estos dos?
- 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,244 No, nosotros... ¡Carajo!
- 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,120 ¡Jesse, tu bobo engordó muchísimo!
- 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,205 ¿Por qué no dijiste nada?
- 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,498 ¡Lo hice, en el autobús!
- 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,583 ¡La próxima vez, habla, Messica!
- 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,002 Si no fueras parte de mi misión, te abandonaría aquí también.
- 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,254 [Jesse gruñe]
- 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,297 ♪ música suave ♪
- 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,466 Este es nuestro recinto más grande.
- 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,218 Sus extrañas criaturas serán tan felices
- 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,053 como un animal abandonado puede serlo aquí.
- 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,429 [oso gruñe]
- 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,556 Adelante, pequeño.
- 00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:24,393 Puedes hacerte el romántico con lo que quieras adentro.
- 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:25,769 Espera.
- 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,187 Jesse, estas cosas se van a volver contra nosotros.
- 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,355 ¿Podemos terminar con esto?
- 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,774 Solo necesito saber lo que eres.
- 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,651 ¿De qué emoción tengo demasiada?
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,737 ¿A quién le importa? ¡Métete ahí, estúpido bobo!
- 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,572 [puerta se cierra]
- 00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,408 Uf. Finalmente, una situación de bobo que no termina
- 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,827 en mí ser apuñalado o tener relaciones sexuales en un casino.
- 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,579 Adiós Bobo Blanco.
- 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,038 Deben estar cansados.
- 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,708 Puede pasar aquí la noche en nuestra suite <i>The Flight Attendant</i>
- 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,836 y relajarse con una taza post-abandono de Cuoco caliente.
- 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,588 Iuu. ¿Tienes que decirlo así?
- 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,174 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:56,300 Esa es mi cornisa,
- 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,427 y no te di permiso para posarte ahí.
- 00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,219 ¿Cocomelon?
- 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,262 ¡A ver si puedes esquivar
- 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,848 todos estos caros coleccionables de señora rica!
- 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:06,435 El basquiaball de Basquiat. ¡El cráneo de Air Bud!
- 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,896 ¡Un fémur irlandés del Titanic! [se queja]
- 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:09,563 [Pupa grita]
- 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,481 ¡Antiguo tapón anal!
- 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,069 ¡Sí! ¡Ja ja ja!
- 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,237 ¡Vete al carajo!
- 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,198 ¡Soy libre de la tortura!
- 00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,032 [suspira]
- 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,033 Cocomelon. [grita]
- 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,535 ¡Ah! ¡Mi pierna! Dios.
- 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,661 ¡Socorro! ¡Socorro!
- 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081 ¿Alguien me escucha?
- 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,041 [se queja]
- 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,334 Claro que no.
- 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,713 Estoy completamente sola... por decisión propia.
- 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,256 [sorben ruidosamente]
- 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,592 ¡Mm, este Cuoco caliente es calabaza picante!
- 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,718 ¿No crees que es raro
- 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,804 que ninguno de nosotros se dio cuenta de lo que pasaba con mi bobo?
- 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,140 Dios mío, a nadie le importa esa estupidez del bobo.
- 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,934 Quiero decir, si tuviera que conocer la historia
- 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,936 de todo lo que vomité, estaría muy ocupado para escribir
- 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,313 mi fan fiction del universo expandido de Dolores Claiborne.
- 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,564 Tal vez tengas razón.
- 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,359 Voy a ir a decir adiós a los bobos una vez más
- 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,777 antes de Cuo-yamos.
- 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,154 Dios mío, eres como Lisa Simpson.
- 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,281 ♪ música sombría ♪
- 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,325 ¿Bobo Blanco? ¿Estás despierto?
- 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,994 [golpes de interruptores] [golpes de luces]
- 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,164 [Bobo Blanco ruge]
- 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,374 [grito ahogado de Jesse]
- 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,959 [Bobo Blanco gruñe]
- 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,711 ¡Dámelo! ¡A papá le gusta!
- 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,880 ¡Blanco, no!
- 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,966 [Bobo Blanco se queja]
- 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,050 [pared se rompe]
- 00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:22,553 [Bobo Blanco se queja]
- 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,681 Saben, siempre pensé que Kaley Cuoco era
- 00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:26,890 la Kristen Bell de los pobres,
- 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,183 pero ahora la voy a promover
- 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,769 a la Anna Faris de las mujeres de clase media alta.
- 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,980 - [crujido de rama] - ¡Cállate! ¿Escuchaste eso?
- 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,066 Usa la aplicación del fósforo único de tu teléfono para darnos más luz.
- 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,277 ¡Claro! Listo. Espero que esto funcione.
- 00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:39,486 La aplicación solo tiene un fósforo
- 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,697 antes de que salga un anuncio.
- 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:42,614 ¡Uf!
- 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,158 ♪ música tensa ♪
- 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,869 TODOS: ¡Carajo!
- 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,121 [Bobo Blanco gruñe]
- 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,874 ¡Socorro! ¡Me está abrazando! ¡Socorro! ¡Ayuda!
- 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,877 ¡El Bobo Blanco se escapó, y ahora creo que sé qué pasó!
- 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,628 ¡Se comió a todos los otros bobos!
- 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,130 ¡Muchas gracias, Teniente Obvio!
- 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,215 ¡Maldita seas, Jessica Opposites!
- 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:01,258 TERRY: ¡Ay, Dios mío! YUMYULACK: ¡Carajo!
- 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:01,717 [Bobo Blanco eructa]
- 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,719 ¡Tenemos que llegar al centro de visitantes!
- 00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,220 [Bobo Blanco gruñe] [Terry y Yumyulack se quejan]
- 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,472 - ¡No! - ¡Yummy!
- 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,516 [Yumyulack grita]
- 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,893 Parece que necesitamos algo de velocidad.
- 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,561 ¡Por suerte me puse mis Heelys! ¡Vamos!
- 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:14,563 [lodo chapotea]
- 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,607 ¡Ah! Maldición, suciedad estúpida, se metió en mis zapatillas.
- 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:17,941 ¡Corre, Terry!
- 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,527 ¡Lo estoy intentando! ¡Estos zapatos Heelys me traicionaron!
- 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,486 [crujidos]
- 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,488 ¡Kwelly al rescate!
- 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,406 [carrito de golf chirriando]
- 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,576 ¡Tienes que arreglar esto, o Kaley va a enloquecer!
- 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:28,577 [gritan]
- 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:32,456 ¡No puedo! ¡Ni siquiera sé lo que representa mi bobo!
- 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,291 ¡Será mejor que encuentres a alguien que pueda!
- 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,375 ¡Es imposible!
- 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,544 Nuestra computadora de la nave ni siquiera podía hacer... ¡Ah!
- 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,629 ¡Malditas serpientes!
- 00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,130 La sangre de serpiente nunca sale.
- 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,924 Estos asientos van a quedar rojos de por vida.
- 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,134 Espera, Rojo. ¡Eso es!
- 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,554 ¡Dios, Kaley va a descontar esas serpientes de mi pensión!
- 00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,477 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:55,687 DISTRITO GASLAMP LA PARTE QUE HUELE A PIS
- 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,731 [puerta se abre, se cierra]
- 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,107 ¿Cómo me encontraste?
- 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,110 Instagram. Tienes que decirle que no deje que la gente te etiquete.
- 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,446 No puedo. Conseguimos mucho trabajo gracias a las redes sociales.
- 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,948 ¿Podrías dejarme en paz?
- 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,449 Me costó mucha tele-terapia,
- 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,451 pero ya no intento matar a Korvo.
- 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,162 ¡Eso es genial! ¡Estoy orgullosa de ti por hacer el trabajo arduo!
- 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,956 Pero de verdad necesito tu ayuda.
- 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,708 ¿Hicieron algunos Súper Bobos que se les fueron de las manos?
- 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,626 ¿Cómo lo supiste?
- 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,587 Todos los bobos están conectados a través del espectro emocional.
- 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,798 Pude sentir su presencia cuando los hicieron.
- 00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:26,260 Me atraen. Pero soy dueño de mi propio destino.
- 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,721 Elijo ser dueño de la quinta microcervecería más popular de la ciudad.
- 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,348 Lo siento, no puedo ayudarte.
- 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,267 Pero mi Súper Bobo se comió a los otros,
- 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,269 y se comió a Terry y a Korvo y a Yumyulack,
- 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,728 y ahora no sé qué hacer.
- 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,522 - No es problema mío. - Pero eres mi único...
- 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,148 ¡Korvo y Terry arruinaron mi vida!
- 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,900 ¡Convirtieron a mi prometida en una rata!
- 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,485 ¡Ya lo superé, estoy fuera!
- 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,654 Espera un momento, bobo.
- 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,032 Si lo superaste, ¿por qué tu cervecería se llama "Muere Korvo" en latín?
- 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:49,867 ¡Sal de aquí!
- 00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,786 ¿Y por qué todos los nombres de tus cervezas son violentos y abusivos?
- 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,746 Por-Qué-Korvo-Todavía-Está- Vivo,
- 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,416 Ipa Disparo en la Cabeza de Korvo, Stella.
- 00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:58,500 ¡Dije que te fueras!
- 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,377 [Jesse solloza]
- 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,211 [puerta se abre, se cierra]
- 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,133 [solloza, grita]
- 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,385 [puerta se abre]
- 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,720 Llévame con el bobo.
- 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,430 ¿Qué te hizo cambiar de opinión?
- 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,056 Puedo haber superado las ganas de matar a Korvo,
- 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,350 pero no permitiré que otro bobo se lo coma
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,435 en vez de mí.
- 00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:17,519 ¡Funciona para mí!
- 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,481 Solo te advierto que es un viaje un poco largo.
- 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,987 Sabes que Korvo y yo tuvimos sexo en Las Vegas.
- 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:28,822 Apuesto a que te preguntas cómo lo hice,
- 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,283 ya que Korvo no tiene trasero y yo no tengo pene.
- 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,327 No, está bien, no necesito saberlo.
- 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,205 Cavé un pequeño agujero en su trasero
- 00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,123 y usé una botella de champú como falo.
- 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,875 - No dejaba de caerse... - Mejor escuchemos
- 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,627 un poco de música al azar, ¿sí?
- 00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:42,419 ♪ música de rock pesado ♪
- 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:43,295 ♪ música tensa ♪
- 00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,923 ¡Ah, maldita sea, de acuerdo!
- 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,258 Me arrepiento de la forma en que viví mi vida.
- 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,427 Me miento a mí misma sobre ser poderosa,
- 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,596 pero soy tóxica y mandona,
- 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,057 y por eso, estoy sola.
- 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,975 Puedes ver lo infeliz que soy.
- 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560 Odio ser la ejecutiva
- 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,729 que decidió que Exxon Mobil debía preocuparse más
- 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,689 por las ganancias que por las personas.
- 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,233 ¡Sí, esa fui yo!
- 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,902 También fui la que hizo que la insulina costara tanto,
- 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,987 aunque básicamente es gratis fabricarla.
- 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,573 [solloza] Soy una basura.
- 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,826 Soy una basura.
- 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,245 ♪ música tensa se intensifica ♪
- 00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,120 [grito ahogado de Brandy]
- 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:19,748 [llaman a la puerta]
- 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,543 ¿Sra. Brandy? ¿Pasó algo terrible?
- 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:25,420 No me ha enviado ningún mensaje racista en los últimos días.
- 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,172 ¡Alice! ¡Oh, Alice!
- 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,758 Pagaré tus tratamientos experimentales contra el cáncer.
- 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,011 ¡Ayudaré a salvar tu pueblo que destruí con ese oleoducto!
- 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,138 ¡Quiero ser una mejor persona!
- 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,141 Y todo gracias a esta extraña criatura que...
- 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:38,642 [suspira con asombro]
- 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,769 Tal vez nunca estuvo realmente allí.
- 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,187 [risita]
- 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:45,357 ¡Oh! Todo ese tiempo, era mi conciencia.
- 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,484 ¡Solo estaba alucinando!
- 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,028 ¡Ah! ¿Y eso es bueno?
- 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:54,324 ¡No lo sé, pero ahora soy buena!
- 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,159 ¡Llamaré a todas las aerolíneas
- 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,288 y haré más grandes los asientos de todos los aviones!
- 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,833 Ah, pensé que esto sería más como el Barrio de Meester Rogers
- 00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,793 de Leighton Meester Para Criaturas Marinas
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:05,919 y Dónde Tirarlas.
- 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,921 Cielos, estos nombres de rescate de animales de celebridades
- 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,256 se están poniendo bastante complicados.
- 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,258 ¡Ay, no! ¿Qué está pasando?
- 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,761 ¡Espero que mi bobo no haya asesinado a nadie más!
- 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,721 [golpe] [Jesse grita]
- 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,724 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,392 [Bobo Blanco rugiendo]
- 00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,060 [Kwelly suspira, grita]
- 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,478 Ah, carajo, sí, no,
- 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,647 eso es definitivamente un bobo de represión de la ira.
- 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,609 [carrito de golf choca]
- 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,029 Va a consumir a todos los demás y te dejará para el final.
- 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:32,863 Eso es lo que hacen.
- 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,408 Pero no estoy reprimida o enojada. ¡Estoy feliz!
- 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,285 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,828 [Bobo Blanco eructa]
- 00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:43,207 ¡Debes admitir que tienes un problema antes de que todos muramos!
- 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,502 ¡Pero no tengo un problema! Tiene que haber otra manera.
- 00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,171 Creo que puedo intentar hablarle de bobo a bobo,
- 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,714 usando palabras de bobo.
- 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,842 Bobo. ¡Bobo bu bu bobo bu!
- 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,971 ¡Bobo bu bu bobo bobo bu!
- 00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:00,265 [Bobo Rojo grita]
- 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:01,433 [grito ahogado]
- 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,060 ¡Espera! ¡Allá voy! [Bobo Rojo gritando]
- 00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:04,895 ¡Jesse, todo depende de ti!
- 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,481 ¡En el fondo sabes con quién estás enojada!
- 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:08,982 [Jesse grita]
- 00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:12,486 [Jesse gritando]
- 00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:14,404 Hola a todos.
- 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,031 ¡Jessica, tu estúpido bobo nos comió!
- 00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,616 ¿Y ahora trajiste al Bobo Rojo?
- 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,826 - ¡Vete al carajo! - ¡Tú vete al carajo, grosero!
- 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,120 ¡Todo esto es culpa tuya! ¿Por qué apestas tanto?
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,499 [gruñe] ¡Korvo, cierra... cierra...!
- 00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,125 ¡Hazlo, Jesse! ¡Déjalo salir!
- 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,545 ¡Cierra tu mugrienta boca, Korvo!
- 00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,129 ¡Es tu culpa que estés aquí!
- 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,048 ¡Si no fueras malo conmigo todo el tiempo,
- 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,592 no tendría un maldito bobo en primer lugar!
- 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,804 ¡Te convertiste en un bravucón porque nunca me defiendo,
- 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,931 pero eso cambia ahora!
- 00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,808 ¡No soy un bravucón, no trates de volver esto contra mí!
- 00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,935 ¡Ya me harté!
- 00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,187 ¡Eres grosero, egoísta y malo conmigo todo el tiempo!
- 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,148 ¡Pero solo te odias a ti mismo, y todos lo sabemos!
- 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:51,775 ¿No te caigo bien?
- 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,986 No, para nada. No te soporto.
- 00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:54,862 ¡Eres un asco!
- 00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:57,823 ¡Nunca aprecias todo el trabajo que hago en la casa,
- 00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,868 y nunca tengo una historia contigo!
- 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:04,371 ¡Bien, Jessica! ¡Podemos tener una historia si te calmas!
- 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:09,251 ¡Deja de llamarme Jessica! ¡Me llamo Jesse!
- 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,043 [Bobo Blanco se queja, salpica]
- 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,628 [todos se quejan]
- 00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:14,047 ¡Somos libres! ¡Ja ja!
- 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,674 ¡Y mi bobo está bien!
- 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,051 Ah, sí, bebé, esto es de lo bueno.
- 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,344 Jesse, tu ira.
- 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,305 Expresarlo hizo que tu bobo explotara.
- 00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:24,183 Sí, eso es lo que pasa si muestras un crecimiento real.
- 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:25,642 ¿Entonces por qué sigues por aquí?
- 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:28,687 Porque eres un miope, estresado pedazo de basura.
- 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:29,771 Cierto.
- 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,982 Me di cuenta de que si te tragas tu ira,
- 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:32,983 te matará.
- 00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,652 Así que dejé que me tragara, y la maté.
- 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,821 Espera, ¿entonces no estás realmente enojada conmigo?
- 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,324 Ah, sí que lo estoy. ¡Korvo, vete al carajo!
- 00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:42,075 ¡Estoy muy orgulloso de ti!
- 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:43,535 ♪ música animada ♪
- 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:45,287 DISTRITO GASLAMP LA PARTE QUE AÚN HUELE A PIS
- 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,413 [gente celebrando]
- 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,208 ♪ música animada ♪
- 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,459 Gracias por tu ayuda, Chris.
- 00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,961 Nunca hubiera podido canalizar mi rabia contra Korvo
- 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,379 sin tu experiencia.
- 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:57,466 Como dice el Rey Bobo, ¡ubi-bubi-bu!
- 00:20:57,466 --> 00:20:59,218 [bobos riendo]
- 00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:01,595 ¿Dijo Rey Bobo? ¿Qué carajo es eso?
- 00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:03,889 Parece que a todos mis bobos les encanta trabajar contigo.
- 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,017 Sabes, hoy Jesse me enseñó a ser fiel a mis sentimientos.
- 00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,060 Ahora estás a salvo,
- 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,646 ¡pero te cazaré y te mataré!
- 00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:11,730 ¡No me amenaces!
- 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,357 ¡Ya lo hice, maldito!
- 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:14,441 [todos riendo]
- 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,527 ¿Ah, sí? Pues adivina qué. Nunca me matarás.
- 00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:17,986 Soy demasiado rápido y demasiado inteligente.
- 00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,738 Y es mi turno de decir,
- 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:20,989 ¡vete al carajo!
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:24,117 [vidrio se rompe] [Korvo quejándose, gritando]
- 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,162 ¡Mi pierna! ¡Oh, Jesucristo, me duele!
- 00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:28,080 ¡Socorro!
- 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,040 ¡Tengo la pierna clavada en el vidrio mellado!
- 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,293 ¡Puedo sentirlo raspando la cosa que tengo en lugar de un hueso!
- 00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,629 Cielos, está perdiendo mucha sangre.
- 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:36,421 ¿Deberíamos bajarlo?
- 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:38,048 ¡Sí! ¡Claro que deberíamos!
- 00:21:39,091 --> 00:21:40,008 En un minuto.
- 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,260 [todos riendo]
- 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,095 Ah. Hola, Pupa. ¿Qué tienes?
- 00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,806 <i>¡Quiero ser mejor persona!</i>
- 00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,766 ¡Vaya, Pupes! ¡Lo lograste!
- 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,936 ¡Hiciste algo bueno por la humanidad en vez buscar caramelos!
- 00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,856 Espera, ¿ya tienes tres millones de suscriptores
- 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,440 y un patrocinio de Starburst?
- 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,986 [Korvo quejándose]
- 00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,529 KORVO: ¡Ay, ay! ¡Me duele!
- 00:22:00,529 --> 00:22:01,655 ¡Pupa, vuelve aquí!
- 00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:04,116 ¿Cómo se convirtió esto en un referéndum sobre mí siendo un idiota?
- 00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:07,578 [grita] ¡Esta era una historia de Jesse! ¿Por qué me castigan?
- 00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,246 ¡No es justo! ¡Ay, ay!
- 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,749 ¡Bubi bubi dubi, vete al carajo!
- 00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:17,337 ♪ música dramática ♪
- 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,507 ♪
- 00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:26,847 ♪
- 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:33,353 ♪
- 00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:39,818 ♪
- 00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:46,158 ♪
- 00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:54,124 ♪
- 00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,629 [imitando fuego láser]
- 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
- 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
- 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,342 ♪ gentle music playing ♪
- 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,511 Aw, man, Hamsterdam?
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,346 Oh, shit! You owe me a million dollars
- 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,223 because there's a bunch of Dutch Hamsters who live there.
- 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,475 How the fuck are you winning in Monopoly: <i>The Wire</i> Edition
- 00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,809 when you've never watched the show?
- 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,436 Why don't you bitch at your pewter McNutty,
- 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,271 that's what keeps landing you on shitty spots.
- 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,564 Come on, gimme an eight,
- 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,942 get me to that bar where the dock workers drank eggs.
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,611 Double dang it! Hamsterdam again?
- 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,696 Welcome to hell, Jessica! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,989 Now pay up, you little delinquent!
- 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,825 But I don't have any money left! Argh!
- 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:37,371 I hate this stupid game. There's too much pressure!
- 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,456 [coughs, gags]
- 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,207 [both gasp]
- 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:42,876 [thuds]
- 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,587 [all gasp] Is that a White Goobler?
- 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,005 This is a huge development.
- 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,716 I'm about to win a board game for the first time ever.
- 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,178 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,</i>
- 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,138 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
- 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,308 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
- 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,018 <i>and escaped into the... space,</i>
- 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,729 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
- 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,939 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
- 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,983 <i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
- 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,901 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
- 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,152 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
- 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,904 <i>My name is Korvo. This is my show.</i>
- 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,239 <i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
- 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,366 <i>Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.</i>
- 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,409 <i>It's a horrible home.</i>
- 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,994 <i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
- 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,579 <i>They have a restaurant called Applebee's,</i>
- 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,039 <i>and they don't call their appetizers apple-tizers.</i>
- 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,165 <i>That's bullshit!</i>
- 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,294 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:28,714 [goobler moans]
- 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,300 Dear God, how did you cough up such a gross goobler?
- 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,968 I didn't even know we could make white ones.
- 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,803 It's the same size as the Red Goobler was.
- 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,930 Wait a minute, are you going to say "get fucked"
- 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,182 and try to kill us?
- 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,684 Oh, no, I don't want to be a burden, you know?
- 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,186 I can't be a teen mom.
- 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,979 I don't even have a neck tattoo!
- 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,063 This doesn't make any sense.
- 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,024 Why would Jesse and I make off-color gooblers
- 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:47,900 and not you two?
- 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,359 Because we're superior in every--
- 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,903 Oh, shit, wait a minute.
- 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,613 [goobler grumbles]
- 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,825 Totally forgot that I coughed up a lavender goobler last week.
- 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,327 - Was I supposed to report that? - Yes!
- 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,537 My Red Goobler is still out there plotting to kill me.
- 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,830 These things could be dangerous!
- 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,624 Hm, doesn't seem dangerous.
- 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,126 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it right there.
- 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,836 Give it to me. Papa like.
- 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,088 This must be a Romance Goobler,
- 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,673 because I'm such a romantic and shit.
- 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,634 That's a freaky little shithead horny goobler,
- 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,468 and you fucking know it.
- 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,262 So we all have new gooblers except Terry?
- 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,388 How does that make sense?
- 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,391 We're, uh, supposed to report weird gooblers, huh?
- 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,185 Don't tell me you coughed one up too!
- 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,061 I did not.
- 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,521 Well, thank our Shlorpian gods--
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,439 - I made five. - What?
- 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,441 Terry's gooblers, sound off!
- 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,194 - Klepto Goobler. - Criterion Disk Goobler.
- 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,029 [groans] Envy Goobler.
- 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,155 Babe-yyyy Goobler
- 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,950 'cause Terry loves saying "babe-yyy," babe-yyy.
- 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,992 Kimmy Goobler.
- 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,953 I re-watched all of <i>Full House</i> three times
- 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,412 and then barfed that little chiclet up.
- 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,247 Geez, guys.
- 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,624 Why are we making all these colorful goobs right now?
- 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,292 Well, that's a dumb question, Jessica.
- 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,753 You're acting like you don't know anything about Shlorpian anatomy.
- 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,548 Obviously, every 100,000 times we stress out and goobler,
- 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,924 one big red one shows up.
- 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,050 But, none of these are red.
- 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,885 Alright, fine, I don't know what the fuck is going on either.
- 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,012 Everyone grab your gooblers and let's go ask AISHA.
- 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,806 Fucking hate it when we have to go ask the ship stuff,
- 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,266 makes us look like such dummies.
- 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,559 LAVENDER GOOBLER: [grunts] Ooh, yeah.
- 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,977 ♪ ethereal music playing ♪
- 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,729 Pupa! How do you keep getting your paws on Starbursts?
- 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,315 You know those kiwi banana ones give you the <i>Tron</i> nightmares.
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,942 Have you ever thought that, like, instead of indulging
- 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,236 in these long, needlessly complicated schemes
- 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,904 to get candy or Harry Potter whistles,
- 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,823 that maybe you could use that big-ass Pupa brain
- 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,157 to make the world a better place?
- 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,118 Yeah, Pupa, the satisfaction you get
- 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,288 from making the world a better place would taste way better
- 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,206 than any old Starbursts.
- 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,833 AISHA: <i>Alright, dummies,</i>
- 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,169 <i>get ready to learn some Shlorpian 101.</i>
- 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,755 [projector ticking] [countdown beeping]
- 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,341 SHLORPIAN NARRATOR: <i>The Shlorpian body is designed</i>
- 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,970 <i>to remove excess emotional buildup by emitting gooblers:</i>
- 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,263 <i>small, dancing creatures</i>
- 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,600 <i>which hold your unwanted chemicals in their bellies.</i>
- 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,101 <i>The gooblers are emitted</i>
- 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,562 <i>and then will dance their adorable little jig</i>
- 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,563 <i>until they die.</i>
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,816 <i>However, if a Shlorpian has too many negative emotions,</i>
- 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:56,570 <i>the Goobler system will produce a Super Goobler.</i>
- 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,947 <i>Larger, meaner, smarter:</i>
- 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,992 <i>the Super Goobler is designed to eliminate the Shlorpian</i>
- 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,535 <i>with emotional problems,</i>
- 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,579 <i>removing them from the terraforming team,</i>
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,331 <i>ultimately protecting the mission.</i>
- 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,457 <i>Get fucked!</i>
- 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,584 SHLORPIAN NARRATOR: <i>If you make a Super Goobler,</i>
- 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,586 <i>it's best to allow it to kill you</i>
- 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,423 <i>so the rest of your team can dine on your body for nutrients.</i>
- 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,636 Wait, so all of these little guys are gonna grow up to kill us?
- 00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,804 Well, that can't be right. Mine was a stress goobler.
- 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,056 These are all too nice.
- 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,683 When I get bigger, I'm gonna fuck you up, babe-yyy!
- 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,060 [all goobers clamoring]
- 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,061 Gooble.
- 00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,979 [Solars scream]
- 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649 Those Super Gooblers are creepy as fuck.
- 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,483 We gotta do something.
- 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,069 I kinda wanna figure out what my goobler even is
- 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,487 before we do anything.
- 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,531 What emotion was I having too much of?
- 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:43,075 Being a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day?
- 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,786 Th-this is probably a bad pitch, but maybe it'll get us going.
- 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,038 What about if we throw them in the dumpster behind Pizza Hut?
- 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,540 Okay, that's the plan to beat.
- 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,332 Yes!
- 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,209 Building off of what Yumyulack just said,
- 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,961 we should put them in garbage bags
- 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,213 before we throw them in the dumpster behind Pizza Hut.
- 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,174 Hmm, I'm liking this area a lot. Now get to grabbing.
- 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,802 I want to have them in that dumpster before they start stabbing us.
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,597 [gooblers clamoring, screaming]
- 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,266 [gooblers thudding]
- 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,351 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,187 Ah! Don't put me in the bag! Sweet cheese!
- 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,772 Oh, little Kimmy.
- 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,358 Korvo, stop! I changed my mind! I can't kill my gooblers.
- 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,192 What? Why not?
- 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,569 Because they're like my children, dammit,
- 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,570 and they're so cute
- 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,988 and they aren't trying to murder anyone yet!
- 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,989 They will soon enough!
- 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,408 Ah, I don't want to kill mine either.
- 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,285 Just look at that pelvic definition.
- 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,954 You know, maybe some of them can turn their lives around
- 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,289 with a little love and attention.
- 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,623 The crystal just fucking told us
- 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,084 if we don't do something, they'll grow up and then kill our asses.
- 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,295 Death by goobler is such a lowbrow way to die.
- 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:39,548 Light bulb, we can ship them off to Kaley Cuoco's Rancho Cuocomonga
- 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,466 for Miscellaneous Beasts and Where to Abandon Them.
- 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,385 Making something stupid up won't help, Terry.
- 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,095 I know, but this time I'm telling the truth.
- 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,348 It's a no-kill rescue ranch owned by Priceline's Kaley Cuoco.
- 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,225 It's where I've been sending all of Yumyulack's snakes.
- 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,059 They're alive?
- 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,519 You told me you were chopping off their heads
- 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,022 and leaving them on the sidewalk as a warning to other snakes.
- 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,106 That's such great news!
- 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,900 Terry, ya fucking nailed it. This is the plan.
- 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,776 Everyone, pack your shit and meet me at the car.
- 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,945 - It's time for the-- - Wait, wait, wait! Can I say it? Please!
- 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,447 Please can I say it? Please?
- 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,782 - Korvo, please! - Sure, my guy. Go for it.
- 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,036 The Solar Opposites are going on a road trip!
- 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,662 Yeah, babe-yyy!
- 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:11,872 [horn honking]
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,417 All aboard the Terry's Super Famous <i>Almost Famous</i> Bus!
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,545 Fasten your seatbelts 'cause Daddy Terry tricked out this bus
- 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,673 in the theme of his favorite road trip movie, <i>Speed!</i>
- 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,926 If we go under 50, we explode!
- 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,095 Remember? Remember Dennis Hopper's got that little fucked-up hand?
- 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,222 [explosion booms]
- 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,765 [metal clattering]
- 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,225 [horn honks]
- 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,227 Okay, this time Daddy got us a regular bus
- 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,395 with almost no bombs, babe-yyy!!
- 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,022 Yeah, babe-yyy!
- 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,275 ♪ rock music playing ♪
- 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,320 ♪
- 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,238 [woman screams]
- 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,156 [engine revving]
- 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,284 ♪
- 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,086 [plasma gun fires]
- 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,880 [Solars and gooblers laughing, cheering]
- 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,675 ♪ rock music playing ♪
- 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,761 Psst, hey, Yum, what do you think my goobler is?
- 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,638 Maybe it's like a sweet goobler or something?
- 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,266 Jess-ica, your goobler is a goobler for sucking!
- 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,560 It takes up a bunch of space, and it's a deadweight piece of shit
- 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,562 with nothing to offer the world and everybody hates it.
- 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,230 Oh, okay. Maybe that's it.
- 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,232 Will you stop playing with that gun, you little shit.
- 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,149 [gunshot] [Korvo shouts]
- 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,033 JESSE: The satisfaction you get from making the world a better place
- 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,495 would taste way better than any old Starbursts.
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,878 I don't care how many geese drowned in the black tar
- 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,171 off the coast of Santa Barbara,
- 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,840 I want my oil rigs up and running by tomorrow
- 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,967 or your adopted orphans can starve!
- 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,345 Oh, Jesus Christ. You can't have next week off, Alice.
- 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,347 I don't care what stage your cancer is in.
- 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,932 Yes, Miss Brandy.
- 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:54,892 [sobs]
- 00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:57,686 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ [shouts]
- 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,897 What the fuck are you supposed to be?
- 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:00,898 Get out of here!
- 00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:01,857 Cocomelon.
- 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,859 Cocom-- uh-- What are you talking about?
- 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:04,985 I said get out!
- 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,445 [vase shatters]
- 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,906 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,615 [door slams]
- 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,827 - PUPA: Cocomelon. - Ah!
- 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,163 Oh, my God! What do you want?
- 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,625 ♪ rock music playing ♪
- 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,503 ♪
- 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,880 [yawns] Only 14 more hours to the ranch
- 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,089 and I get to meet Kaley.
- 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,217 Wait a minute, something's missing.
- 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:32,012 One, two, four, five. Oh, fuck, where's my Klepto Goobler?
- 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,139 Maybe we left him at the local Scottish food place
- 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:34,932 we stopped at.
- 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,683 - You mean McDonald's? - Fuck!
- 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,311 He's probably still there, stealing all the McFlurry toppings.
- 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,646 - We have to go back. - No, Terry!
- 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:41,522 We're already running late
- 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,524 because we spent so much time in the McPlayPlace.
- 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,400 I think my goobler's getting bigger?
- 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,818 How could you lose your gooblers?
- 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,445 That's the whole point of this road trip!
- 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,114 All I'm sayin' is, you bring a motherfucker to a PlayPlace,
- 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,533 motherfucker gonna play.
- 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,160 [water sloshing]
- 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,370 [door opens, closes]
- 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,957 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,000 - Cocomelon? - Jesus, shit!
- 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,252 Okay, y-you're not real.
- 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,461 Y-you're just a side effect
- 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,630 of my Goop ayahuasca vaginal gummy crowns.
- 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,091 I-I-I'm just gonna take some of my rhino horn pills
- 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,468 that only rich people have, and you'll go away.
- 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,386 [pills rattle] [gulps]
- 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,139 - Cocomelon. - Ah! You know what, fuck this!
- 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,183 How dare you sit there judging me
- 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,476 with your Cookie Monster eyes?
- 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,687 - Cocomelon. - You can't judge me.
- 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,274 Only my lovers can judge me because that's what gets me off.
- 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,525 I choose loneliness
- 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,402 because I've been in love before, and it sucks.
- 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,486 Cocomelon.
- 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,905 One minute you're happy living in suburban Kansas City
- 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,699 and the next your lover's in <i>Clueless,</i>
- 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,951 then goes on to have a 30-year acting career
- 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,369 - and never ages! - Cocomelon!
- 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,122 Shut up! I am done with you!
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,834 [toilet flushes]
- 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,382 [Brandy gasps]
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,258 Cocomelon.
- 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,010 [Brandy screams]
- 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:56,680 ♪ rock music playing ♪
- 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:03,937 ♪
- 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,441 ♪ uplifting music playing ♪
- 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,235 [gasps] Oh, my God! Is that Kaley Cuoco?
- 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,987 No, wait, this lady only has one ear.
- 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,238 Kaley has two ears!
- 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,699 What the fuck? I want to abandon my animals with Kaley!
- 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,994 I'm Kaley Cuoco's stunt double, Kwelly Cloakawoko.
- 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:22,164 I lost my ear when Sheldon's homemade Green Lantern ring exploded
- 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,373 on the <i>Big Bang</i> set.
- 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,628 Welcome to Kaley Cuoco's Rancho Cuocomonga!
- 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,630 Let's get these deformed creatures settled,
- 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,089 and I'll give you the tour!
- 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:35,719 We take all the fucked-up animals no one else wants to touch:
- 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,014 ligers, middle-aged wolves, albino pythons.
- 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,973 YUMYULACK: My snakes!
- 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,851 Anaconor and Lahissa, you're thriving!
- 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,228 What would you guys like to abandon?
- 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,104 We have several customizable packages
- 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,274 ranging from $29.99 to $8.57 million.
- 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,027 I'm sure you get this a lot, we have half a dozen Super Gooblers
- 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,862 that'll eventually kill us so, you know,
- 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,532 gotta ditch them with you before the stabby-stabby begins.
- 00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,408 A half dozen? You mean these two?
- 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,244 No, we-- Oh, shit!
- 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,120 Jesse, your goobler got fat as fuck!
- 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,205 Why didn't you say anything?
- 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,498 I did, on the bus!
- 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,583 Next time speak up, Messica!
- 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,002 If you weren't part of my mission, I would abandon you here too.
- 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,254 [Jesse groans]
- 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,297 ♪ gentle music playing ♪
- 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,466 This is our largest enclosure.
- 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,218 Your strange creatures should be as happy
- 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,053 as an abandoned animal can ever be here.
- 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,429 [bear growls]
- 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,556 Go on, little guy.
- 00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:24,393 You can romance the fuck out of whatever you want in there.
- 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:25,769 Wait!
- 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,187 Jesse, these things are going to turn on us,
- 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,355 can we wrap it up?
- 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,774 I just need to know what you are.
- 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,651 What emotion do I have too much of?
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,737 Who cares! Get the fuck in there, you stupid goobler.
- 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,572 [door closes]
- 00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,408 Phew, finally, a goobler situation that doesn't end
- 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,827 in me getting stabbed or having sex in a casino.
- 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,579 Bye, White Goobler.
- 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,038 You guys must be tired.
- 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,708 You can stay here for the night in our <i>The Flight Attendant</i> suite
- 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,836 and relax with a post-abandonment cup of hot Cuoco.
- 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,588 Ew, do you have to say it that way?
- 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,174 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:56,300 That's my ledge,
- 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,427 and I didn't give you permission to perch there.
- 00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,219 Cocomelon?
- 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,262 Let's see if you can dodge
- 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,848 all these expensive rich lady collectables!
- 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:06,685 Basquiat's basquiaball. Air Bud's skull!
- 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,896 An Irish femur from the <i>Titanic!</i> [grunts]
- 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:09,563 [Pupa shouts]
- 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,481 Ancient butt plug!
- 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,069 Yes! Ha ha ha!
- 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,237 Fuck you!
- 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,198 I'm free from the torture!
- 00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,032 [sighs]
- 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,033 - Cocomelon. - Ah!
- 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,535 Ow! My leg! Oh God.
- 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,661 Help! Help!
- 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081 Can anybody hear me?
- 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,041 [groans]
- 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,334 Of course not.
- 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,713 I'm all alone... by my own design.
- 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,256 [slurps]
- 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,592 Mm, this hot Cuoco is pumpkin-spicy.
- 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,718 Don't you think it's weird
- 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,804 that none of us figured out what my goobler's dealio was?
- 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,140 Oh, my God, nobody cares about the goobler shit.
- 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,934 I mean, if I had to figure out the backstory
- 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,936 of everything I puked up, I'd be too busy to write
- 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,313 my Dolores Claiborne expanded universe fan fiction.
- 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,564 Maybe you're right.
- 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,359 I'm gonna go say bye to the gooblers one more time
- 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,777 before we kwo-go.
- 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,154 Oh, my God, you're such a Lisa Simpson.
- 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,281 ♪ somber music playing ♪
- 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,325 White Goobler? Are you awake?
- 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,994 [switch thuds, lights thud]
- 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,164 [White Goobler growls]
- 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,374 [Jesse gasps]
- 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,959 [White Goobler growls]
- 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,711 Give it to me! Papa like!
- 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,880 Whitey, no!
- 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,966 [White Goobler groans]
- 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,050 [wall crashes]
- 00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:22,553 [White Goobler groans] [Jesse gasps]
- 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,681 You know, I always thought Kaley Cuoco was
- 00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:26,890 a poor man's Kristen Bell,
- 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,183 but now I'm gonna upgrade her
- 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,769 to an upper middle-class woman's Anna Faris.
- 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,980 - [branches snap] - Shut up, did you hear that?
- 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,066 Use the single match app on your phone to get us some more light.
- 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,277 Right! Steady. Hope this works.
- 00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:41,697 The app only has one match before it makes you watch an ad.
- 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:42,698 Phew!
- 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,158 ♪ tense music playing ♪
- 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,869 Oh, shit!
- 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,787 [White Goobler groans]
- 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,874 Help! It's hugging me! Help! Help!
- 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,877 The White Goobler got out, and now I think I know what happened!
- 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,628 It ate all the other gooblers!
- 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,130 Thanks a lot, lieutenant obvious!
- 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,299 Damn you, Jessica Opposites!
- 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,717 TERRY: Oh, my God! YUMYULACK: Oh, shit!
- 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,719 We have to get to the visitor's center!
- 00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,220 [White Goobler groans] [Terry and Yumyulack grunt]
- 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,472 - No! - Yummy bear!
- 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,516 [Yumyulack screams]
- 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,893 Looks like we need some speed.
- 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,561 Luckily, I wore my Heelys! Come on!
- 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,607 Ah! Damn it, stupid dirt, getting in my 'ees.
- 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:17,941 Run, Terry!
- 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,527 I'm trying! These Heely shoes betrayed me!
- 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,486 [crunches]
- 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,488 Kwelly to the rescue!
- 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,406 [golf cart screeches]
- 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,576 You gotta fix this, or Kaley's gonna go ballistic!
- 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:28,577 [shouts]
- 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:32,456 I can't! I don't even know what my goobler represents!
- 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,291 You better find someone who can!
- 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,375 That's impossible!
- 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,544 Our ship computer couldn't even do-- Ah!
- 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,629 Fuckin' snakes!
- 00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,130 Snake blood never comes out.
- 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,924 These seats are gonna be red for life.
- 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,134 Wait! Red. That's it!
- 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,554 God, Kaley's gonna take those snakes out of my pension!
- 00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:55,687 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,731 [door opens, closes]
- 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,107 How'd you find me?
- 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,110 Instagram. You gotta tell it not to let people tag you.
- 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,446 I can't, we get a lot of business through social.
- 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,948 Would you just leave me alone?
- 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,449 It took a lot of tele-therapy,
- 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,451 but I'm not trying to kill Korvo anymore.
- 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,162 That's great! I'm proud of you for doing the hard work!
- 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,956 But I really need your help.
- 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,708 Did you make some super gooblers that got out of hand?
- 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,626 How did you know?
- 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,587 All gooblers are connected through the emotional spectrum.
- 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,798 I could feel their presence when you made them.
- 00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:26,260 I'm drawn to them. But I'm the master of my own fate.
- 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,721 I choose to own the fifth most popular microbrewery in town.
- 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,348 Sorry, I can't help you.
- 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,267 But my super goob ate the others,
- 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,269 and it ate Terry and Korvo and Yumyulack
- 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,728 and now I don't know what to do.
- 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,522 - Not my problem. - But you're my only--
- 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,148 Korvo and Terry ruined my life!
- 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,900 They turned my fiancé into a rat!
- 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,485 I'm over it, I'm out.
- 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,654 Hold your red horses, goobs.
- 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,032 If you're out, then why is your brewery called Die Korvo in Latin?
- 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:49,867 Get out!
- 00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,494 And why are all your beer names so violent and abusive?
- 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,746 Hefewei Is Korvo Still Alive,
- 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,624 IPA Bullet in Korvo's Head. Stella.
- 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,500 I said get out!
- 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,377 [Jesse sobs]
- 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,211 [door opens, closes]
- 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,133 [sobs, shouts]
- 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,385 [door opens]
- 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,720 Take me to the goobler.
- 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,430 What made you change your mind?
- 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,056 I might be over killing Korvo,
- 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,350 but god fuck me if I'll let another goobler eat him
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,435 instead of me.
- 00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:17,519 Works for me!
- 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,481 Just gonna warn you. It's kind of a long drive.
- 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,987 So you know Korvo and I hooked up in Vegas?
- 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:28,822 I bet you're wondering how I did it,
- 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,283 since Korvo doesn't have a butt and I don't have a dick.
- 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,327 Nah, it's okay, I don't need to know.
- 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,205 I dug a little hole out of his butt
- 00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,123 and used a shampoo bottle as a phallus.
- 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,875 - It kept falling off. - Let's just listen
- 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,627 to some random-ass music, huh?
- 00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:42,419 ♪ hard rock music playing ♪
- 00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,923 Oh, god damn it, fine.
- 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,258 I regret the way I lived my life.
- 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,427 I lie to myself about being powerful,
- 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,596 but I'm just toxic and bossy,
- 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,057 and because of that, I'm alone.
- 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,975 You can see how unhappy I am.
- 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560 I hate being the executive
- 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,729 who decided Exxon Mobil should care more
- 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,689 about profits than people.
- 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,233 Yeah, that was me!
- 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,902 I was also the one who made insulin cost so much,
- 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,987 though it's basically free to make.
- 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,573 [sobs] I'm scum.
- 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,826 I'm scum.
- 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,245 ♪ tense music intensifies ♪
- 00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,120 [Brandy gasps]
- 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:19,748 [knocking at door]
- 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,543 Miss Brandy? Did something terrible happen?
- 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:25,420 You haven't texted me anything racist in the last few days.
- 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,172 Alice! Oh, Alice!
- 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,758 I'll pay for your experimental cancer treatments.
- 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,011 I'll help save your village that I destroyed with that pipeline!
- 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,138 I want to be a better person,
- 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,141 and it's all thanks to this strange creature that--
- 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:38,642 [gasps]
- 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,144 Maybe he was never really there.
- 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,187 [chuckles]
- 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:45,357 Oh! That whole time, it was my conscience.
- 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,484 I was just hallucinating!
- 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,028 Oh! Is that good?
- 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:54,324 I don't know, but I'm nice now!
- 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,159 I'm calling all the airlines
- 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,288 and making every plane seat bigger!
- 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,833 Huh, I thought this would be more like Leighton Meester's
- 00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,793 Meester Rogers' Neighborhood For Sea Creatures
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:05,919 and Where To Dump Them.
- 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,921 Geez, these celeb animal rescue names
- 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,256 are getting pretty sweaty.
- 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,258 Oh, no! What's happening?
- 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,761 I hope my goobler didn't do a murder on anyone else!
- 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,721 [thuds] [Jesse screams]
- 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,724 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,392 [White Goobler groaning]
- 00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,060 [Kwelly gasps, screams]
- 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,478 Oh, shit, yeah, no,
- 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,647 that's definitely an anger repression goobler.
- 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,609 [golf cart crashes]
- 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,029 She's gonna consume everyone else and save you for last.
- 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:32,863 That's what they do.
- 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,408 But I'm not repressed or angry. I'm happy!
- 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,285 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,828 [White Goobler belches]
- 00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:43,207 You need to admit you've got a problem before we all die!
- 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,502 But I don't have a problem! There has to be another way.
- 00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,171 I guess I can try talking to her, goobler to goobler,
- 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,714 using goobler speak.
- 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,842 Gooble. Gooble goo goo gooble goo!
- 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,971 Gooble goo goo gooble booble goo!
- 00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:00,557 [Red Goobler shouts]
- 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:01,433 [gasps]
- 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,060 Hold on! I'm coming! [Red Goobler screaming]
- 00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:04,895 Jesse, it's up to you,
- 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,481 deep down you know who you're angry at!
- 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:08,982 [Jesse screams]
- 00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:12,486 [Jesse screaming]
- 00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:14,404 Uh, hello, everybody.
- 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,031 Jessica, your stupid goobler ate us,
- 00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,616 and now you brought the Red Goobler into it!
- 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,826 - Get fucked! - You get fucked, you rude shit!
- 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,120 This is all your fault! Why do you suck so much?
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,499 [growls] Korvo, shut-- shut--
- 00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,125 Get him, Jesse! Let it out!
- 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,545 Shut your filthy mouth, Korvo!
- 00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,129 It's your fault you're in here!
- 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,048 If you weren't being mean to me all the time,
- 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,592 I wouldn't have a fudgin' goobler in the first place.
- 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,804 You've turned into a bully because I never fight back,
- 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,931 but that changes now!
- 00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,808 I'm not a bully, don't try and turn this on me!
- 00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,935 I'm not done!
- 00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,187 You're rude, selfish, and mean to me all the time!
- 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,148 But you just hate yourself, and we all know it!
- 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:51,775 You don't like me?
- 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,986 No, I don't. I don't like you.
- 00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:54,862 You suck.
- 00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:57,823 You never appreciate all the work I do around the house,
- 00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,868 and I never get a story with you ever!
- 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:04,371 Fine, Jessica, we can have a story if you calm down.
- 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:09,251 Stop calling me Jessica! My name is Jesse!
- 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,043 [White Goobler groans, splatters]
- 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,628 [all grunt]
- 00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:14,047 We're free! Ha ha!
- 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,674 And my goobler's okay.
- 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,051 Oh, yeah, baby, that's the good stuff.
- 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,344 Jesse, your anger.
- 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,305 Expressing it made your goobler explode.
- 00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:24,183 Yeah, that's what happens if you actually show real growth.
- 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:25,642 Then why are you still around?
- 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:28,687 Because you're a myopic, stressed-out piece of shit.
- 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:29,771 Right.
- 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,982 I realized that if you swallow your anger,
- 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:32,983 it will kill you.
- 00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,652 So I let her swallow me and I killed her.
- 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,821 Wait, so you're not actually angry with me?
- 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,324 Oh, I'm angry. Korvo, get fucked!
- 00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:42,075 I'm so proud of you!
- 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:43,535 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪
- 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,413 [crowd cheering]
- 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,208 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪
- 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,459 Thanks for the help, Chris.
- 00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,961 I never could have channeled my rage at Korvo
- 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,379 without your expertise.
- 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:57,466 As the King Goobler says, oobie goobie goo!
- 00:20:57,466 --> 00:20:59,218 [gooblers laughing]
- 00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:01,595 Did he say King Goobler? What the fuck is that?
- 00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:03,889 Looks like all my goobies love working with you.
- 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,017 You know, today Jesse taught me to be true to my feelings.
- 00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,060 You're safe now,
- 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,646 but I will hunt you down and I will kill you.
- 00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:11,730 Don't you threaten me.
- 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,690 I already did, you big bitch.
- 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,441 [all laughing]
- 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,527 Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? You'll never kill me.
- 00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:17,986 I'm too fast and too smart.
- 00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,738 And it's my turn to say,
- 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:21,198 get fucked!
- 00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:24,117 [glass shatters] [Korvo groaning, screaming]
- 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,162 My leg! Oh, Jesus Christ, it fucking hurts!
- 00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:28,080 Help!
- 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,040 I stabbed my leg on the jagged glass.
- 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,293 I can feel it scraping the thing I have instead of a bone!
- 00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,629 Holy fuck, he's losing a lot of blood.
- 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:38,048 - Should we get him down? - Yes! Of course, we should!
- 00:21:39,091 --> 00:21:40,008 In a minute.
- 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,260 [all laughing]
- 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,095 Oh. Hey, Pupa, what you got?
- 00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,806 <i>I wanna be a better person!</i>
- 00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,766 Shit, Pupes! You did it!
- 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,936 You did something good for humanity instead of scheming for candy!
- 00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,856 Hold on, you already have three million subscribers
- 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,440 and a Starburst sponsorship?
- 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,986 [Korvo groaning]
- 00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,529 KORVO: Ow, ow! It hurts!
- 00:22:00,529 --> 00:22:01,655 Pupa, get back here!
- 00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:04,116 How did you turn this into a referendum on me being a dick?
- 00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:07,578 [screams] This was a Jesse story! Why am I being punished?
- 00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,246 It's not fair! Ow! Ow!
- 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,749 Goobie goobie dooby, get fucked!
- 00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:17,337 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪
- 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,507 ♪
- 00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,629 [mimicking laser fire]
Скриншоты
