Загрузка
00:00
/
23:20
Нежелательная персонификация Терри
The Unwanted Personification of Terry
Сезон: 04Серия: 11
Описание
Из-за длительного пребывания на Земле тела инопланетян начали принимать человеческую форму. Это событие вызвало восторг у всех кроме Корво. Тот считает, что они должны немедленно покинуть Землю. Им нужно оказаться в космосе, чтобы их обычные тела вернулись. Выясняется, что Терри потерял космический корабль. На месяцы инопланетяне разбредаются, чтобы наслаждаться жизнью в человеческих телах. Постепенно они приходят к осознанию, что быть человеком не такая уж и хорошая затея. Команда находит Корво, но теперь уже его самого нужно уговаривать покинуть Землю, так как он имеет шикарное человеческое тело, с которым не хочет расставаться. В конечном итоге инопланетяне покидают Землю и высаживаются на другой планете.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
- 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪
- 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,426 I'm so flippin' stoked to finally go
- 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:13,096 to the newest, most-cash-grabbiest Instagram attraction in town:
- 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,848 the Sprinkle Museum.
- 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,518 I'm gonna take a thirst trap with every kinda sprinkle there is.
- 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,686 Jimmies, nonpareils, even the fucking blue ones!
- 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:20,979 Nobody's going anywhere.
- 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,481 I have to express your mounds.
- 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,733 The stink is attracting those giant spiders again.
- 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,901 Fuck that, no way.
- 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:26,860 Not the brusher.
- 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,111 Just let us be stanky!
- 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,072 - My mound, my choice. - Hell no.
- 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,366 I'm tired of slipping on pus when I'm doing my Tae Bo.
- 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,200 Bend over.
- 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,576 Jesse, hold this bag
- 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,245 and collect all the dribblings and the sprays.
- 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,330 - Ecch! It's gonna get on me. - Be proud.
- 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,831 'Tis one of the great Shlorpian honors
- 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,250 to hold the mound gunk satchel.
- 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,544 I'll never forgive you for this, Korvo! I hate you!
- 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,711 [brush whirring]
- 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,257 [Yumyulack laughing] [Jesse gagging]
- 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,425 Woo-hoo! It tickles. It tickles.
- 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,135 - Do, do, do, do, do, do. - Ugh.
- 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,053 Get it all, Jesse!
- 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,013 We can pour it in molds and make our own gummy bears.
- 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,890 TERRY: Ooh, are we getting our mounds expressed?
- 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,724 Me next, me next!
- 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,476 Alright, Terry, you can be next,
- 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,103 just drop your pants and let's see--
- 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:01,937 [Korvo screams]
- 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,856 - [Yumyulack gasps] - Jesus Jessica Parker.
- 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,191 - TERRY: What? - Terry, you have a human penis!
- 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,234 And you're human!
- 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,903 I'm, I'm a human
- 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,156 and I've got a slightly above average human penis!
- 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,366 [Korvo, Yumyulack, and Jesse scream]
- 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,786 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,</i>
- 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,788 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
- 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,875 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa,</i>
- 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,043 <i>and escaped into the... space,</i>
- 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,504 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
- 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,755 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
- 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,049 <i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
- 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,634 <i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
- 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,886 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
- 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,554 <i>My name is Korvo. This is my show.</i>
- 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,889 <i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
- 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,932 <i>Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.</i>
- 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,017 <i>It's a horrible home.</i>
- 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,643 <i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
- 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:44,605 <i>Why do they always say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,</i>
- 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,148 <i>but then they never freeze time there.</i>
- 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,316 <i>If you're gonna cheat on your wife,</i>
- 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,401 <i>have the dignity to use a chrononullifier,</i>
- 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,653 <i>Anthony K. Delgado Jr.!</i>
- 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,781 ♪ dramatic music ♪
- 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,369 Wow. You gotta touch these ears.
- 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,413 I can't believe I got a penis and a nose and a dick
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,290 and a head full of hair and a schlong.
- 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,167 Jeepers. I can't believe you're actually human.
- 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,460 This is so cool.
- 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,170 Oh, my gosh. Do you have a butt hole?
- 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,254 I don't know. You tell me.
- 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:10,881 [Jesse and Yumyulack cheering]
- 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174 - He's got a butt hole. - He's got a butt hole.
- 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,217 - He's got a butt hole! - He's got a butt hole!
- 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,968 Oh, what kind of stuff should I put in it?
- 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,303 Ooh, give me that gunk wand!
- 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,639 Nuh-uh. Nobody's putting anything in Terry's butt hole.
- 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,682 Except me. After we figure out how this happened.
- 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,227 Oh, come on. You never let me put anything in anything.
- 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,102 [machine whirring]
- 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,979 Damn it. It's just as I feared.
- 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,147 Terry's body transformation is
- 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,233 a natural Shlorpian reaction to being on the planet
- 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,235 for too long without the Pupa terraforming it.
- 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,319 What does that have to do with it?
- 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,279 His physical form has adapted to better assimilate
- 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,989 among the planet's dominant species.
- 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,449 Blade? Am I a Daywalker?
- 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,450 No! Humans!
- 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,410 How come it happened to Terry first?
- 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,329 Because he's weak-minded and succumbed to the temptations
- 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,331 of human culture long before you two did.
- 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,249 That's me, baby.
- 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,334 Succumbin' to the temp-tache of the cultch.
- 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,044 Will me and Jesse turn human too?
- 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,922 Of course! You two have succumbed to popular culture as much as Terry.
- 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,508 Jesse with boy-toyin' and Yumyulack with your tea-bagging.
- 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,343 At least we'll be humans together.
- 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,428 Ha! I will remain a perfect shade of blue
- 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,639 because I haven't succumbed to a single temp-tache.
- 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,766 I'm Shlorpian ride or die. No cap.
- 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,560 Is it too late to do anything about it?
- 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,854 The transformation takes six months to become permanent.
- 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,439 It's like when you're making panna cotta, the cream has to set.
- 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,900 I hate when Korvo compares things to panna cotta.
- 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,403 <i>The Book of Boba Fett versus Alien vs. Predator</i>
- 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,696 is nothing like panna cotta.
- 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,990 Well, I guess we just kick back and enjoy watching me
- 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,576 get snackier and drippier by the day!
- 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,702 Now, if you excuse me,
- 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,246 I'm gonna go to Cos' and get linen pants.
- 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,873 No, it's too dangerous to wait.
- 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,916 Being Shlorpian is who we are, and we can't lose that.
- 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,293 We must leave Earth immediately.
- 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,919 Being in outer space will cause you to revert
- 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,879 to your natural form.
- 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,839 But, but, but what about the Sprinkle Museum?
- 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,091 They just disinfected from the meningitis.
- 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,968 No! There'll be no sprinkle selfies today.
- 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,094 Everyone to the ship!
- 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:40,929 Where the fuck's my ship?
- 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,142 Hold on, does this mean the ship can actually be flown around?
- 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,227 I thought it was broken. That's kind of a big deal, you know?
- 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,146 [sighs] The ship has worked since last year
- 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,105 when I turned into goo.
- 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,191 I didn't tell you because everyone was having such a good time
- 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,066 as a team here on Earth.
- 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,359 Aww, that's so sweet.
- 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,485 Being sweet was wrong!
- 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,612 I should have stayed harsh.
- 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,822 Oh, my God, I can't believe you guys didn't know
- 00:03:58,822 --> 00:03:59,781 the ship works.
- 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,117 I take it out every Sunday when Korvo isn't watching.
- 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:02,993 What? How?
- 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,579 You can't even use the transmogrifier without burning your hands.
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,664 You made me read the manual, like, a hundred times
- 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:08,790 under threat of death!
- 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,791 Fuck, that's right.
- 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,293 Okay, fine, well, where is it then?
- 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,961 Um, I recently borrowed it
- 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,881 for one of my iconic Friday through Sunday "Terry Freak-ends."
- 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,050 Dang, this new human brain runs hot and slow.
- 00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,885 Havin' a hard time remembering the deets.
- 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,803 Do you really not remember or are you just saying
- 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,347 you don't remember because you wanna stall
- 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:25,474 and do shit in your human body before we leave.
- 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,100 - A little bit of both. - Terrald!
- 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,353 Look, I just wanna experience what being human's like.
- 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,687 Anyway, I'll be back. Byeeeee!
- 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,439 Terry, get back here, we have to find the ship!
- 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,273 Oh!
- 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,150 Fucking spiders! Damn it!
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,236 Okay, our only course of action is to blow the horn
- 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:40,030 that calls giant monsters out of the sea and use them to hunt down Terry
- 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,782 and force him to tell us where the ship is.
- 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,116 It'll cause devastating earthquakes
- 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,536 and most of us won't survive, but it's our only option left.
- 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,787 [spider screeches] [Korvo gasps]
- 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,704 Shit!
- 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,541 YUMYULACK: I don't know what you're so worried about.
- 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:51,834 Every time Terry runs away,
- 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,127 you know he comes crawling back when he realizes
- 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,963 this is where all his action figures are stored.
- 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,131 Usually, he hasn't lost the ship full of all the stuff
- 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,049 that makes me awesome.
- 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,008 JESSE: Guys, guys, guys.
- 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,469 I found Terry's <i>Veronica's Closet</i> lunchbox.
- 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,512 Maybe there's something in these treasures
- 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,305 that could tell us where he went.
- 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,974 Phoenix feather, that bullet you guys bought,
- 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:07,850 a witch's finger.
- 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,478 Oh! A roll of 35-millimeter film marked "freak-end."
- 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,522 To the dark room. Yes! Woo!
- 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,399 [groans] I'll be there in a minute.
- 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,442 Keep sucking, get all around the rim.
- 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,822 ♪ suspenseful music ♪
- 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,699 ♪
- 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,076 Look, Terry went to <i>MTV's Spring Break: Running of the Bulls.</i>
- 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,619 The ship must still be in Pamplona.
- 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,162 Tight! I'll get the hover platform.
- 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,164 It's on the ship along with all the other stuff
- 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,875 that makes our lives so easy breezy.
- 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,252 So how on God's green earth are we getting to Spain?
- 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,461 An airplane?
- 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,255 No, we're still trying to get off the no-fly list
- 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,215 for that time Terry tried to join the Mile High Club
- 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,383 by himself in the aisle.
- 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,094 Luckily, Mr. Awesome Genius foresaw this possibility
- 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,762 and constructed a secret backup vehicle
- 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,181 and stored it in an underground bunker
- 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,348 in the backyard a year ago.
- 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,142 Now all we need to do is buy some shovels.
- 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,894 I guess Mr. Awesome Genius didn't think
- 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,478 to leave himself a tunnel.
- 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,356 I think you like an excuse to go to the hardware store.
- 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,316 I do not.
- 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,152 Hey, Dale, how's that shed going?
- 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,486 Get that hinge on.
- 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,988 Maurice! Upgrading the old pergola!
- 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,448 That's gonna be peaceful as fuck.
- 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,909 [singing] <i>♪ Having some fun at the hardware store ♪</i>
- 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,328 <i>♪ Saws and paints and so much more ♪</i>
- 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,956 This would be a lot faster if we had the shovel ray.
- 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,708 Well, thanks to Terry, we don't.
- 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,419 God knows what that selfish fuck is up to right now.
- 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,462 ♪ sensual music ♪
- 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:21,715 [Terry laughing]
- 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,342 Oh.
- 00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,135 ♪ sensual music ♪
- 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,137 Damn, you're human as fuck.
- 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,056 Thank you. You wanna see my human penis?
- 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,224 Fuck yeah. Whip it out.
- 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,559 [shovels scraping]
- 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,562 Okay. This should be it. My secret vehicle.
- 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,441 Oh, no, the robots from season one.
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,652 Shut the door before they talk or we'll have to pay em'!
- 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,070 [mechanical whirring] [door clangs]
- 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,155 Okay, here we go, this is it.
- 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:48,534 [mechanical whirring]
- 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,827 Behold the Hammerhead 2.
- 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,412 What was the "Hammerhead 1"?
- 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,081 I just put a "2" at the end of this because I thought
- 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,290 it sounded more kickass.
- 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,375 Hammerhead 2!
- 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,002 YUMYULACK/JESSE: Hammerhead 2! Hammerhead 2!
- 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,047 It's got an advanced design I cribbed from a He-Man toy
- 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,049 that can traverse any environment.
- 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,050 Let's go!
- 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,552 HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER: <i>What's up, buddies?</i>
- 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,971 <i>Welcome aboard the Hammerhead Dos!</i>
- 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,014 Call me the Weasel.
- 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,307 Yowwww!
- 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,684 Is it on Pauly Shore mode?
- 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,394 That's gonna get annoying fast.
- 00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,812 It's just what a computer voice sounds like
- 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,064 if it's been buried and forgotten for a year.
- 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,941 HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER: <i>Pam-pa-lone-a!</i>
- 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,276 <i>Sweet, buddy.</i>
- 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,820 <i>Estimated arrival: 14 days.</i>
- 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:25,654 YUMYULACK/JESSE: Aww.
- 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,906 Those times always drop once you get on the road.
- 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:31,201 [mechanical whirring]
- 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,203 ♪ upbeat music ♪
- 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,497 [crowd cheering]
- 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,332 [bull bellows] [man screams]
- 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,878 Stupid fucking GPS. That took forever.
- 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,713 I don't know, seems like we made good time
- 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:45,507 considering we had to sidewind across the ocean floor.
- 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,676 Look around for any sign of the ship or Terry.
- 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,803 That's one of Terry's stupid shirts!
- 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,722 Hey, lady, where'd you get your t-shirt?
- 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,515 This old-ass alien gave it to me for showing him
- 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,267 how to do winged eyeliner.
- 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,144 - Did he have a ship? - Yep.
- 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,061 Did you fuck him?
- 00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,521 I totally would have,
- 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,566 but he said he was in love with some guy named Crumbo.
- 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,234 Who the shit is Crumbo?
- 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,068 Korvo.
- 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,653 Oh. Right. 'Cause I love crumbs.
- 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,905 Well, what did he do with the ship?
- 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,615 I don't know, last I heard,
- 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:12,784 he and the amateur circus were gonna fly it to Burning Man.
- 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,786 That flaming gentleman must be where the ship is!
- 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,830 Solars-minus-Terry, rollout!
- 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,208 Set course for Nevada!
- 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,001 HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER: <i>Oh, bummer, buddy.</i>
- 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,836 <i>Due to mucho heavy headwinds,</i>
- 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,254 <i>arrival time is:</i>
- 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,089 <i>16 days.</i>
- 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:26,924 Come on!
- 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,886 Ah, shoot, I'm doing a glow!
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,638 ♪ angelic vocalizing ♪
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:38,477 Guys, guys! I'm a human! And I gots boobs!
- 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,522 Let me touch 'em! Uh, I-I-I mean, who cares, humans are lame.
- 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:42,898 Shit. I told you this would happen.
- 00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,358 We just have to keep looking for the ship.
- 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,400 Don't panic, stay on course.
- 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,819 Panic? Look at me!
- 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,906 I'm young, hot, and ready to sign up for a student loan!
- 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,115 Don't you pull a Terry!
- 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,618 I wanna experience the uniquely human activities
- 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,119 I've always dreamed about,
- 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,913 like waiting in line at the DMV,
- 00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,706 paying taxes, and having jury duty!
- 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,250 That's what you've always wanted?
- 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:04,503 Aliens never get to do all the boring, mundane human stuff.
- 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,089 I gotta skedaddle! Toodle-oo!
- 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,841 Fucking goddammit! [sighs]
- 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,467 I guess it's just you and me, Yumyulack.
- 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,593 The original bad boys.
- 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,011 Hammerhead 2, get us out of here
- 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,346 and this time avoid highways.
- 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:16,056 HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER: <i>New route locked in.</i>
- 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,808 <i>Updated arrival time:</i>
- 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,184 <i>20 days.</i> [men grunt]
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,018 Son of a bitch!
- 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,562 HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER: <i>Ow, ow!</i>
- 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,566 ♪ upbeat energetic music ♪
- 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,488 It's official, people. The man is burnt!
- 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,074 WICKER MAN: Oh, please, release me.
- 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,034 Let me go back to my home world.
- 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,995 Have I not suffered enough?
- 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,997 Oh, thank you, kind s-- [gunshot]
- 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,458 I can't believe Terry and Jesse bailed on us.
- 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,128 Thank you for remaining dedicated to the mission, Yumyulack.
- 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,963 You are now officially the good replicant.
- 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,507 Sure, whatever. Check out what Jesse's been up to.
- 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,092 JESSE [on phone]: <i>What is up to my followers!</i>
- 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,928 <i>J-So here at the Social Security Administration,</i>
- 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,681 <i>finally getting my very own Social Security Number.</i>
- 00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,184 <i>Bwaaap bwaaap! Bweep bweep bweep bweep!</i>
- 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:03,604 <i>Heck yeah! 987-65-4322! That's me!</i>
- 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,438 <i>Ooh ooh ohh!</i>
- 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:05,480 Ignore her base humanity,
- 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,566 just be alert for any signs of the ship. Ugh!
- 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:11,153 That hasheesh man is living in part of my stardrive!
- 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,572 Drug addict. Where did you get this?
- 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,617 Aw, man. This alien dude traded it to me
- 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,327 for a jar of clean piss,
- 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,704 which he drank without sharing.
- 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,247 - Clean piss. Lucky! - Yup, that's Terry.
- 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,666 That dude was weird.
- 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,127 I don't know if he's gonna make it to Vegas.
- 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:27,961 Las Vegas?
- 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,796 But he swore he would never go back after he didn't make
- 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,799 the cast of <i>Brah,</i> The Blink 182 Cirque du Soleil show.
- 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,720 Dude, he was ranting about something called Sabacc.
- 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:37,638 What the hell is that?
- 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,640 It's a fictional card game he saw in a movie.
- 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,517 Terry only likes to play games with deep ties
- 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,559 to cannon and lore.
- 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,103 Why does he have to be so fucking extra about everything?
- 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,356 Terry's always bragging about how good he is at Sabacc.
- 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,942 If casinos are cashing in on the ascension of nerd culture,
- 00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:53,111 he'd be attracted to the gaming tables like an owl to a bat
- 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,404 to a moth to a flame!
- 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,322 A casino!
- 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,574 Yumyulack, help me hitch the recombulator to the Hammerhead.
- 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,952 Sorry, hippie. We're taking this sweet piece of sci-fi back.
- 00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,161 Sure thing, brah.
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,121 I should get back to my old life anyway,
- 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,250 solving crimes using my heightened sense of smell.
- 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,921 Yumyulack! How long have you had that human leg meat?
- 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,756 Oh, man. Just a few days.
- 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,925 I didn't say anything because I thought you'd cut them off.
- 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,927 I wasn't going to do that, but it's a good idea.
- 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,136 Give me those fucking legs!
- 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,555 - [Yumyulack screaming] - Whoa!
- 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,349 Fuck! I knew we gave you too many Lunchables
- 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,183 and Xbox Live.
- 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,811 Whoa. I'm a human, and I've got one, two, three, four, five, six--
- 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,229 [gasps] several pubes.
- 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,439 Are you gonna run off to do human stuff now too?
- 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,941 I won't be able to handle it if you do!
- 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,901 Um, no, of course not.
- 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,945 I'm, uh, just gonna borrow this bike real quick.
- 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,031 Don't try to escape me on that old-timey bicycle!
- 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,409 Hammerhead, pursuit course! Maximum speed!
- 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,619 [mechanical whirring]
- 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:44,121 [ropes snap]
- 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:49,376 Shit! Stupid slow-ass Hammerhead 2.
- 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,588 HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER: <i>Hey, buddy, when are we gonna wheeze the juice?</i>
- 00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:54,089 We are never wheezing any liquid!
- 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,966 Aim at Vegas, full Hammer ahead.
- 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,845 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,600 Was there a guy named Terry here recently?
- 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,394 Ye tall. Green. Good-looking. Probably eating gum?
- 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,021 Yeah, I remember that fuckin' guy.
- 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,607 He paid for his <i>Vegas Vegas Memories</i> DVD
- 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,733 and never picked it up.
- 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,818 Let's transition wipe to my office.
- 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,946 TERRY: <i>Where's the fictional game room?</i>
- 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,073 <i>I want to play Sabacc and Gwent, bitch!</i> [girls cries]
- 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,950 Jesus. Fast forward through this.
- 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:23,702 What the--
- 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:26,288 These freaks all look like they win fictional card games for a living.
- 00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:27,331 What was Terry thinking?
- 00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:28,957 <i>Pfft, easy mode.</i>
- 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,293 <i>This is exactly like it was in the</i> Solo.
- 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,879 <i>I call and raise you</i>
- 00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,089 <i>an actual spaceship!</i>
- 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,050 He bet the ship? How was his hand?
- 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,677 He had five crescent moons and a fist of swords.
- 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,012 What the hell does that mean?
- 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,389 I don't fucking know. It's bad, I think.
- 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,600 We change the rules on these nerd games on the fly
- 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,518 all the time.
- 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,145 <i>Holy fuck!</i>
- 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,523 <i>Well, at least nobody will ever see this.</i>
- 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,690 I want that ship back!
- 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,027 Return it now or I will mercilessly lay waste to this entire casino.
- 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,488 Sorry, sir, this vehicle is now the property
- 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,365 of the Vegas Vegas corporation,
- 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,783 and you need to fuckin' leave.
- 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:03,784 Prim this guest.
- 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:04,952 What the hell? Stop it.
- 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,411 Why are you shoving me into a cement mixer?
- 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,456 [Korvo screaming]
- 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,961 I can't see! I can't see!
- 00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,129 Okay, now I can see.
- 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,049 Goddammit, I can't believe my team has left me to do this by myself.
- 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,634 I really hope they're all miserable.
- 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,596 Drugs are so much better when they actually get you high!
- 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,056 [yelling]
- 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,599 Has the jury reached a verdict?
- 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,017 We haven't, Your Honor.
- 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,854 Looks like we need to be sequestered!
- 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,480 Out of the way, normal kid.
- 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,315 We're about to bully that left-handed kid.
- 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,150 He's now the weirdest kid at school!
- 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,278 I'm not weird! Ha, ha!
- 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,989 [thunder rumbling]
- 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:45,325 Fuck, nobody said this was stacked parking!
- 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,370 The Hammerhead isn't designed to traverse tightly packed spaces!
- 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:52,040 Hello? Can someone please move these gambling addicts' cars?
- 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,083 Hello?
- 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,377 How? How has it come to this?
- 00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:56,962 [thunder rumbling]
- 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,591 A nose? No! No, no, no!
- 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,469 Ears? Shit! I don't want to be a fucking human!
- 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,680 Noooooo!
- 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,935 ♪ suspenseful music ♪
- 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:22,696 ♪
- 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,202 Sorry I'm late. I had a court date.
- 00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:29,953 I heard about you getting arrested for calling that judge
- 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,331 "a bitch, a whole bitch, and nothing but a bitch."
- 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:35,000 She couldn't handle me requesting a "motion to dismiss"
- 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,836 for the reasons that she "sucked fat shit."
- 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:40,130 Now I gotta wear this everywhere.
- 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,966 Plus, I'm in a buttload of debt because people keep using
- 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,761 my Social Security Number to take out loans.
- 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,221 Things haven't gone well for me either.
- 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,139 Everyone at school ignores me now that I'm human.
- 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,475 At least when I was a bullied alien, I was being noticed.
- 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,353 [sighs] This being human stuff is the pits.
- 00:14:54,353 --> 00:14:56,146 I tried changing my name to "Baxter Cool"
- 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,523 to stand out, but then I found out
- 00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,650 there's already a kid named "Baxter Badass."
- 00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,735 So now everyone at school just calls me Baxter C.
- 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,112 Holy geez. Is that Terry?
- 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,032 [flies buzzing]
- 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,243 Jesse, Yumyulack, it's great to see you!
- 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,119 Oh, my gosh.
- 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,496 What the hell happened to you?
- 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,456 Waddaya mean? I've been thriving.
- 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,917 [hacking cough]
- 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,503 [groans] Oh, cripes, the wound's open again.
- 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,880 I need to get fresh rags, but, uh, other than that,
- 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:22,881 things are good.
- 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:23,715 Yeah.
- 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,800 Terry.
- 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,302 Okay, fine, the last four and a half months have been hell!
- 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,763 I didn't know the shit humans do to their bodies was permanent.
- 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,932 My penis ring's been infected a half dozen times
- 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,183 and I'm addicted to crack!
- 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,893 I didn't even know you could get addicted.
- 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,395 I just love the minty flavor.
- 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,689 Turning human was the worst mistake of our lives.
- 00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:40,482 We should never have bailed on Korvo.
- 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,859 Then it's settled.
- 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,861 We're going home and undoing all of this!
- 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,153 But isn't Korvo mad at us?
- 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:45,988 Are you kidding?
- 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,156 He's gonna goosh his robes when we come walking up.
- 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,742 Just imagine how lonely and depressed he's been without us.
- 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,536 Just him and the Pupa in that big house,
- 00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,037 sitting around and doing jack shit?
- 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,874 Poor Korvo. I hope he somehow held it together.
- 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:00,794 TERRY: What the hell? Where's the ship?
- 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,212 YUMYULACK: He never got it back!
- 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,339 JESSE: Uh, guys, what's with all the dogs?
- 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,884 [dogs barking]
- 00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:08,343 Ahh!
- 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,679 Okay, what the fuck is going on here?
- 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,681 Hey! No humans allowed.
- 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,308 How many times do I gotta say it?
- 00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,226 This is a brothel for dogs.
- 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,395 Opening a dog brothel's been my dream for years
- 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,563 and the Pupa stole it?
- 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:20,564 Fuck you, Pupa!
- 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:21,565 [spider screeches] [man yelps]
- 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:25,027 We can't be humans anymore! We gotta get off this planet!
- 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,821 Please, Pupa, if you care about this family at all,
- 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,781 tell us where is Korvo?
- 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,703 ♪ upbeat dance music playing ♪
- 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:38,665 Whoa, what is this place?
- 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,459 The Smokeshow House,
- 00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,252 the ultimate club for the sexiest,
- 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,838 most boner-generating people alive.
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,215 I believe you're describing me!
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,594 What the hell's Korvo doing in a place like this?
- 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:53,388 Maybe he turned human and he's like a busboy or something?
- 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,390 Maybe the cool people take shits on him for fun.
- 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,767 I heard that's what they do to losers.
- 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,393 it's never happened to me, heh.
- 00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,522 Well, well, well, my old alien family!
- 00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,981 What a surprise.
- 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,191 Korvo? [glass shatters]
- 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,986 You've turned into the most gorgeous human I've ever seen!
- 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,071 Not bad, right?
- 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,656 It's been a good few months.
- 00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,574 Allow me to introduce some of my new friends.
- 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,576 Brad Pitt, regular Michael B. Jordan,
- 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,995 and jacked Kumail Nanjiani.
- 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,122 I assume you're here to say "I told you so"
- 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,958 because being a human is awesome.
- 00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:23,418 No, we thought you would tell us so.
- 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,754 I cannot. It was you who told me so.
- 00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,549 Korvo, the six-month panna cotta period is almost up.
- 00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,676 We gotta leave Earth A-S-A-mmediately
- 00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,386 if we ever wanna be Shlorpians again.
- 00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:34,680 Good. I don't want to be Shlorpian.
- 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,514 JESSE/YUMYULACK/TERRY: What?
- 00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,849 My life's great now.
- 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:39,476 I'm the new face of Edible Dude Wipes For Her For him.
- 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,562 People finally respect me for what counts,
- 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,397 my symmetrical ass and dick dimples,
- 00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:45,399 not the stupid content of my character!
- 00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:48,652 But you said "being Shlorpian is who we are."
- 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:50,445 Well, if I did, that was stupid.
- 00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:53,073 Being proud of who you are deep down on the inside is cringe.
- 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,618 Yo, K. These AmazonBasics-looking motherfuckers bugging you?
- 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,829 It's fine, Momoa. They were just leaving.
- 00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:01,456 Leo, slurp Patrón off my five-pack.
- 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,584 Korvo's lost his marbles and replaced them
- 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:05,544 with new, fine-as-hell marbles!
- 00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:06,420 [sighs]
- 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,255 Holy shit, what a snack.
- 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,425 If I was that hot, I would never ever look back at my family!
- 00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:13,343 Man, I've lost the second love of my life,
- 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,596 right behind Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Pizza.
- 00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:19,016 Wait. We might not be aliens and we might not be beautiful,
- 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:21,268 but we have what counts in here.
- 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,187 Like what, our integrity?
- 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,148 No. Blood. We're full of blood!
- 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,774 [slurping]
- 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,985 What the fuck?
- 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,154 This little bitch just sprayed me with blood!
- 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:34,406 Yeah, and I'm fucking full to the brim!
- 00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:35,949 [all screaming]
- 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,660 Michael B. Jordan be covered in B, I mean blood!
- 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,204 Ahh! [grunts]
- 00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:41,330 [screams]
- 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,707 - Yeah! - Ha, ha! Suckers!
- 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,251 Stop spraying my hot friends with your ugly blood!
- 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,920 Oh, God, It's reverting me back
- 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,756 to what I looked like before I sold my soul to that witch!
- 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:53,133 No! No! Oh, God!
- 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:54,927 [groans]
- 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,929 Our unattractive blood is so potent,
- 00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:59,765 it's melting the hotness right off these himbos!
- 00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:02,059 Is it working?
- 00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,519 It's getting hard to see.
- 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,395 Don't we need to hang on to some of this blood?
- 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,731 No, that's a myth! Bones make blood.
- 00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:08,565 [groans] [thuds]
- 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:11,235 Ahhhh!
- 00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:12,528 Ah!
- 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:16,782 Whoa! Keep your ugly blood away from my beautiful body!
- 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,034 You can have Nanjiani!
- 00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,124 Oh, no! He's getting away!
- 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,418 But damn, do I like to watch him go.
- 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,337 Hold on, guys, I need to eat this cookie.
- 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,089 I sprayed too much blood.
- 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,382 No time. Jump!
- 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:37,302 ♪ dramatic music ♪
- 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,887 ♪
- 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,472 Ah!
- 00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,140 Protect me, my Aussie hunks!
- 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,934 It's the Hemsworth brothers!
- 00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:45,769 They even brought the weird one!
- 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,980 Shit, I'm out of blood!
- 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,690 [all scream] TERRY: Stand back.
- 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,152 [screams] Gah-gah-gah-gah,
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,239 I smoke what I smoke and that's all that I smoke!
- 00:20:00,701 --> 00:20:01,785 [Hemsworth brothers screaming]
- 00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:04,371 It's official, crack isn't whack, baby!
- 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,205 JESSE: Yeah!
- 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:06,999 Oh, shit, crack fire!
- 00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:11,378 This blimp is soaked in Drakkar Noir by Guy La Roche,
- 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,964 one of the most flammable substances in the galaxy.
- 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:17,134 It's gonna go off like a Molotov cockring!
- 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,306 TERRY: There's nowhere else to go, Korvo!
- 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:24,349 This hot guy blimp is about to blow!
- 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,726 Take my hand!
- 00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:26,768 Agh! So ugly!
- 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:29,897 I'd rather die a Chad than go back to being a simp.
- 00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:30,939 [explosion booms] Ahh!
- 00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:35,444 Aww, jeez! We're all gonna die as humans!
- 00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:37,279 [spaceship whooshing]
- 00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:40,699 Pupa!
- 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,827 Korvo, you stupid ass!
- 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:44,745 Come with us!
- 00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:46,163 No, I won't go back!
- 00:20:46,163 --> 00:20:46,997 [explosion booms] Ahh!
- 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,209 Look, Korvo, it's someone casting for <i>The Bachelor!</i>
- 00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,043 Really?
- 00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:52,794 [screams]
- 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,172 [all screaming]
- 00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,634 AISHA, get us off this planet!
- 00:20:58,634 --> 00:20:59,718 AISHA: <i>You got it, dummy.</i>
- 00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:01,470 No! I finally fit in!
- 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:02,554 [explosion booms]
- 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:03,555 [spaceship whooshes]
- 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:07,726 ♪
- 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:10,229 Wow, I guess the Pupa used the profits
- 00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:12,981 from his dog brothel to buy the ship back from the casino.
- 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:14,983 God bless you, you green blob!
- 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,360 I'm getting tired.
- 00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,987 Hey, you're not still upset that we killed a bunch
- 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:21,532 of your hot celeb friends 30 seconds ago, are you?
- 00:21:21,532 --> 00:21:23,784 Yes, I'm still upset! I had the perfect life.
- 00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,411 Korvo, I know you liked being a sexy human,
- 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,704 but this is for the best.
- 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:31,542 We need to get back our regular bodies, it's who we are.
- 00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:33,669 And now that we've seen how fucked up humans are,
- 00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:36,547 we're rededicated to the mission, just like you always wanted.
- 00:21:36,547 --> 00:21:38,549 I... I do like that.
- 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,926 Plus, you're like our hot leader now.
- 00:21:40,926 --> 00:21:42,261 And hot leaders are the best.
- 00:21:42,261 --> 00:21:44,513 It's true. I'm sorry for how I acted.
- 00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:47,432 I clearly had "hot guy brain" and it was making me crazy.
- 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,977 Now that we're back on the ship, I am glad you rescued me.
- 00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,064 I know exactly what to do.
- 00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:56,650 We'll go live on another planet for a bit until we revert back
- 00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:58,360 to our old Shlorpian bodies.
- 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:02,990 ♪
- 00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:10,038 It'll be a nice change of pace to live on a world
- 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:12,791 where we aren't being treated like a bunch of freaky aliens.
- 00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,043 [crashes]
- 00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:18,463 [vehicle approaching]
- 00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:22,759 Go back to your own planet, you filthy fucking humans!
- 00:22:23,719 --> 00:22:25,095 Fuck you, I hate this planet!
- 00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:26,555 You people are stupid and confusing.
- 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:27,723 Aw cripes.
- 00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:32,728 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
- 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,602 [mimicking laser fire]
Скриншоты



























