Устройство „Живи-умри снова“ — Корво собирается построить на заднем дворе печь для приготовления пиццы и берёт всех инопланетян в строительный магазин. Там он переживает из-за одного из работников магазина, с которым хочет наладить общение. Корво заставляет остальных отправиться во временную петлю и раз за разом переживать этот день, пока он не сделает всё идеально в общении с этим работником. Терри знакомится с сумасшедшим любителем настольных игр. Жители Стены уже покинули её и создали своё поселение на заднем дворе инопланетян. Оскар и его племянница София содержат в этом поселении бар. В поисках работы к ним обращается некий искатель приключений по имени Гэвин. Он получает задание отвезти груз в другую часть двора. Гэвина преследует охотник за головами по имени Литл Ричард, который убивает Оскара. София бежит из поселения вместе с Гэвином.

Предыдущая серия S05 E02 Бесконечная история медового месяца

Следующая серия S05 E04 Учебное спринклерное устройство

Устройство „Живи-умри снова“

Live Die Repeat Device (Formerly Known as the Edge of Tomorrow Device)

Сезон: 05Серия: 03

Описание

Корво собирается построить на заднем дворе печь для приготовления пиццы и берёт всех инопланетян в строительный магазин. Там он переживает из-за одного из работников магазина, с которым хочет наладить общение. Корво заставляет остальных отправиться во временную петлю и раз за разом переживать этот день, пока он не сделает всё идеально в общении с этим работником. Терри знакомится с сумасшедшим любителем настольных игр. Жители Стены уже покинули её и создали своё поселение на заднем дворе инопланетян. Оскар и его племянница София содержат в этом поселении бар. В поисках работы к ним обращается некий искатель приключений по имени Гэвин. Он получает задание отвезти груз в другую часть двора. Гэвина преследует охотник за головами по имени Литл Ричард, который убивает Оскара. София бежит из поселения вместе с Гэвином.

Субтитры

00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,670 Пять! Шесть!
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:09,480 Шесть...
00:00:09,490 --> 00:00:10,810 - Семь! - Семь...
00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:12,130 - Восемь! - Восемь...
00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:13,720 Терри! Всё, я готов.
00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:17,510 Чёрт, Корво, не дал потренироваться в... отрыжке!
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,530 А ты секси!
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,200 Дуй в машину, пора в «Товары для дома».
00:00:20,210 --> 00:00:22,200 Фу! Ну и зачем нам туда переться?
00:00:22,210 --> 00:00:25,100 Там всё для постройки печи для пиццы на заднем дворе.
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,770 Наконец-то мы забацаем пиццу!
00:00:26,780 --> 00:00:28,490 Забацаем пиццу!
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:33,200 Вчера я предоставил свои чертежи себе на рассмотрение и этим утром дал добро.
00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:35,960 Супер! А то как ни идея, ты ни в какую!
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,640 Да, я даю редко. В смысле, добро.
00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:39,930 Ну всё, пора за материалами для постройки.
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,840 Репликанты, всей семьёй за хозтоварами!
00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:44,370 А, кстати, может, заедем в «Холодно-богато»?
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:46,030 Это первосортно-второсортная
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,270 лавка-однодневка пудинга-мороженого.
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,130 Нет, это гадость. Бог мне свидетель.
00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:52,420 Живо спускайтесь, пора в «Товары для дома»!
00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:53,240 Сейчас!
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,960 А тебе не кажется, что стенян стало поменьше?
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:58,350 Не могли же они толпой куда-то уйти?
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,240 Да ну. Наверно, прячутся под декоративными камнями, как ящерицы.
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,530 Хватит меня игнорить!
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,880 Чёрт, я же сказал, сейчас!
00:01:11,410 --> 00:01:13,900 Планета Шлорп была просто идеальной,
00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:16,490 пока на неё не грохнулся астероид.
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:21,010 Сотне взрослых особей и их репликантам выдали по пупе и отправили в космос,
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,730 на поиски необитаемого мира, нашего нового дома.
00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:24,870 Мы рухнули на Землю,
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,170 планету, кишащую людьми.
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:28,790 Да-да, это мой голос.
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,750 Я держу Пупу, меня зовут Корво. Это мой сериал.
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,090 Я уронил Пупу, видите?
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:35,050 Как же нелепо. Ненавижу Землю!
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,130 Отстойная планета.
00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,870 Люди тупые и странные.
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,890 Гремлинов тут после полуночи не покормить.
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:44,410 А вот на Шлорпе ночью гремлины отрывались по полной, ели, танцевали и возбуждались!
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:47,540 СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ
00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:51,020 ТОВАРЫ ДЛЯ ДОМА
00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:53,070 Нет! Прочь, это моё место!
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,910 - Офигеть! - Ух ты!
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,060 Да! Чуете запах опилок?
00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:00,930 Все эти мастера спешат мастерить дальше.
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:03,160 Что за дела? Это не магазин, а склад!
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:06,860 Что, удобных полок не хватает? За этим в супермаркет. Тут мир строителей.
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:10,490 Тут есть банановая «Фанта»! Всю «Фанту» пробовала, кроме этой!
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:14,250 Глядите, какие вместительные стиралки! Вот бы мне дали в такой поспать!
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:15,920 О, распродажа шлангов!
00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:17,550 - Гляди! И зелёные есть! - Пойдём, а?
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,860 От всякой тягомотины у меня мурашки под кожей.
00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:21,600 А вот и он. Тео.
00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:23,630 Что за Тео?
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:26,330 Рукастый мужик. Я обсуждал с ним проект печи для пиццы.
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:30,190 Весьма компетентен плюс терпелив со мной, хоть я и засыпаю его вопросами.
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,630 Ты запал на мужика в светоотражающем жилете? Я правильно понял?
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,410 Нет. Я уважаю Тео. Побаиваюсь и хочу услышать от него «Молодцом!»,
00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:39,840 а в отчаянных мечтах мы обсуждаем цены на пиломатериал.
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:44,350 Ну, я рад, что теперь тебе есть с кем поговорить о хозтоварах, ведь я в этом точно не помощник.
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,600 Слава богу, наш брак допускает платоническую дружбу.
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,040 Мистер Корво, как там ваша печь для пиццы?
00:02:52,050 --> 00:02:56,040 Пока выбираем кирпичи для фундамента, Тео. Не сориентируешь ещё раз по вариантам?
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:59,890 Ну, есть огнеупорные, есть из обожжённой глины, есть необожжённые...
00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:01,310 Скукота!
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,320 Книгу читать и то веселее было.
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,780 Тео, не покажешь, где кирпичи?
00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:07,100 Соскучился по тяжести кирпича в руке.
00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:09,690 Слова настоящего мастера. Идём.
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,770 Веди меня, папочка.
00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:15,090 Ты что, назвал продавца хозтоваров папочкой?
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:20,130 Это, знаете... я тут вспомнил, меня покупатель ждёт, ему надо помочь сделать... ну, дверь.
00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:22,320 Тео, брось, ну оговорился я, бывает.
00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:23,760 Представь, что ты не слышал!
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,040 Увы, но с теми, для кого наше дело — шуточки, я не работаю.
00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:28,100 Какие шуточки!
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:31,000 Я хочу смастерить печь для пиццы, всего на пару раз!
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,610 На YouTube есть годные обучающие ролики.
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:38,120 Так держать, Корво! Хоть три секунды тут было над чем поржать!
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,080 Чёрт, что со мной не так? С чего я назвал Тео папочкой?
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,820 Это ведь не мой тема, а твоя!
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:46,620 Корво сел в лужу, всё по классике. Видели бы вы. Херня, как в первом сезоне.
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:49,280 Не до этого было. Мне не досталось банановой «Фанты»,
00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:52,750 потому что какой-то заказчик всё скупил для монтажников кондиционеров.
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,350 Пили бы себе пиво, так нет же!
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,060 А я на удивление неплохо подремал в мини-погрузчике.
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,170 Но потом бездетная пара, обоим лет за 40, меня оттуда выкинула.
00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:04,620 Надеюсь, тягомотины на этом складе всем хватило, ведь теперь нас там никто не ждёт.
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:07,160 Тео помогал мне с печью для пиццы с самого начала!
00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:08,650 Как я теперь без него?
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:11,250 Корво, родной мой, с ним всё.
00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:14,750 Рано сдаваться. Прогоню этот диалог повторно, и если повезёт...
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,710 О нет. Опять научно-фантастическая приблуда?
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,530 Не валяй дурака, тебе такие мои штучки всегда нравились.
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:23,430 Узрите: отладчик дня «Живи. Умри. И снова»!
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,050 Вот чёрт, нам опять ждать иска?
00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:28,910 Я, когда исполнял танец Карлтона не в шоу «Сегодня», не знал, что он под копирайтом!
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,840 Создатель отладчика вдохновлялся фильмом «Грань будущего»
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:35,880 и его слоганом «Живи. Умри. И снова», который звучит куда круче названия.
00:04:35,890 --> 00:04:38,460 Десять лет назад это был мой любимый фильм!
00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:39,250 Как он работает?
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:41,440 Все по очереди жмут на свой сектор и умирают.
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:45,340 После этого активируются хронотоны, и все проживают день заново.
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:48,720 Чёрт, Аиша, это слишком сложно. Я сказал тебе сделать, как в фильме!
00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:53,150 А я ответила, что юристы Warner Bros. засудят любого, отсюда и слово «вдохновлялся».
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,080 Так мы начинаем?
00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:55,660 Постой, ты сказала, мы умрём?
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,640 Включай!
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,380 Блин, вот это жесть.
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,410 Он к жизни-то, надеюсь, вернётся?
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,820 Для работы отладчика нужно участие всех.
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:15,590 Сука, ненавижу «Товары для дома»!
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,400 ТЕМ ЖЕ УТРОМ СНОВА...
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,550 Я вновь занимаю место.
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,640 Знаю, устрою ДТП, но мне плевать.
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,330 Даже хуже, чем мне запомнилось!
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:34,050 А вон и та пара! Прогоню их метлой, чтобы не помешали вздремнуть.
00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:36,760 Ну всё, банановая «Фанта», ты моя!
00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:38,780 Не парься, было бы из-за чего.
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:42,550 Ты сверхразумный пришелец, а он всего лишь впаривает стульчаки подороже.
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:43,670 Ты прав. Я справлюсь.
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,280 Мистер Корво, как там ваша печь для пиццы?
00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:48,470 Неплохо, папочка... Чёрт!
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:52,220 Не знаю, с чего я опять назвал Тео папочкой. Но сегодня мы выяснять это не будем.
00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:55,830 Я буду раз за разом жить и умирать, пока не отлажу диалог о кирпичах.
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,460 А можно без меня? Голова от цитронеллы заболела.
00:05:58,470 --> 00:06:02,460 Без Терри ничего не получится. Для работы хронотонов нужно участие всех.
00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:02,860 Почему?
00:06:02,870 --> 00:06:06,000 Ты забыл, что я и без того за кучей потоков времени слежу?
00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,870 Скажи спасибо, дятел, что вообще согласилась!
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,600 Голосуем. Кто хочет вернуться в «Товары для дома»?
00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,330 Блин! Ладно!
00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,840 Спасибо, Терри, что всегда уважаешь мнение большинства.
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:19,890 Это первое моё главное достоинство. Второе — не использовать эмодзи смеха и плача.
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,260 Почему у нас нет пастилок с аспирином? Знаете же, ненавижу глотать!
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:28,880 Твоя очередь умирать, Терри. Давай садись уже.
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:31,800 Да-да. Нам надо в «Товары для дома», а я всех задерживаю.
00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:33,200 Так-так, минуту.
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,080 Терри?
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:34,790 Ему больно?
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,910 Нет. До твоей смерти они пребывают в состоянии хроностаза.
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,830 Так разве это плохо? Там можно находиться бесконечно!
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,440 Их хронотоны застыли. Они ничего не осознаЮт.
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:47,220 Супер. Тогда я отлучусь на десять минут, а потом умру и повторим. Я быстро.
00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:51,340 Терри, живо вернись в этот научно-фантастический «Саймон» и убей себя!
00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:52,310 Терри!
00:06:59,610 --> 00:07:01,230 Да, быстро время пролетело!
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,170 Ладно, отдохнул и хватит.
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:06,640 Уф. Что-то я взмок. Приму сперва душ.
00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:19,330 «СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ» ПРЕДСТАВЛЯЕТ
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,170 «СТЕНА»
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,630 «ЗАДНИЙ ДВОР»
00:07:30,390 --> 00:07:32,090 ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В СТОЧНОВИЛЛЬ ПЕРВЫЙ ПРИВАЛ ВО ДВОРЕ
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,430 МИНИ-ПОРТНЫЕ
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,010 МАГАЗИН
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:37,680 ПОНЧИКИ
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,190 САЛУН ОСКАРА «СКВОРЕЧНИК»
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,010 Доброе утро! Что за ранние пташки?
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:52,180 Да так, какие-то проезжие по пути в Баскетболбург.
00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:56,120 А помнишь, когда Ямюляк оставил во дворе баскетбольный мяч, что я сказал?
00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:59,760 «Кто-нибудь всё из него вытащит и поселится внутри».
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:02,160 Ты был прав, дядя. Как всегда.
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,420 Вот подлиза, София! Хочешь о чём-то попросить?
00:08:04,430 --> 00:08:07,770 Ну, все мои друзья пошли налить «Пепси» из той банки, и я надеялась...
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:11,320 Не сегодня. Мне надо кое-куда по делу, так что ты остаёшься за главную.
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:13,870 Но ты меня никогда не отпускаешь!
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,430 А газировка ещё свежая! А потом она выдохнется!
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,730 София, банка слишком далеко!
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:23,290 Ладно бы ещё у дома, рядом с жёлобом. Это слишком опасно!
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:27,020 Пойми, я за тебя отвечаю. Это ведь из-за меня тебя уменьшили.
00:08:27,030 --> 00:08:29,340 Не кори себя так, дядя Оскар.
00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:32,230 Не шикни я на Ямюляка, когда он позвонил в зале на сеансе «Луки»,
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,550 ты бы уже была на втором курсе в Брауновском.
00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:37,220 Я тут подумала...
00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:39,720 Может, Терри ещё бросит другую банку, поближе.
00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:42,020 Конечно, бросит, золотко.
00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:46,630 Класс! Отличный мини-сериал после душа.
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,580 Сперва думаешь, братья не объединятся, но потом...
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,080 Но из-за чего был весь сыр-бор?
00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:52,820 Из-за Швиммера!
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:56,510 Ну что ж. Я отдохнул, расслабился, отмазки кончились.
00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,100 Пора стиснуть зубы и вернуться на этот склад... перекушу только.
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:00,710 Терри!
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:05,200 Корво не разрешал мне есть пудинг-мороженое. Пока он в хроностазе — самое время!
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:05,500 «ХОЛОДНО-БОГАТО»
00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:10,070 Есть порция со вкусом маршмеллоу и посыпкой из специй, в бонусном размере, для...
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:10,960 Для меня!
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:12,990 Это для Джерри!
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,900 Я даже имя не успела сказать!
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,930 Вот порция для Терри.
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:21,310 Мы заказали точь-в-точь одно и то же! Первый раз такое! У тебя отличный вкус!
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,080 Спасибо, надо будет попробовать!
00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:26,690 Кстати, классная надпись. Это ирония?
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,690 А? Нет, никакой иронии.
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,400 Тоже подумывал о чём-то таком, но у тебя лучше.
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:34,410 У тебя тоже классно: Helvetica шрифтом Courier.
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:37,610 Чего только с открытыми шрифтами не вытворяют!
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,650 Глаз-алмаз. Слушай, я брежу, или мы на одной волне?
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:42,430 А ведь правда. Так и есть!
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,250 Ко мне хочешь? У меня тут отличный вид на дорогу.
00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:47,490 Супер! Легковушки и грузовики!
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:58,990 ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В СТОЧНОВИЛЛЬ ПЕРВЫЙ ПРИВАЛ ВО ДВОРЕ
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,220 Стой, Дикки.
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:04,020 Тише, мальчик, тише.
00:10:06,650 --> 00:10:08,290 Слушайте! А вы не Гэвин?
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,000 Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт!
00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:13,190 Ну точно. Я этого ежа везде узнаю.
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,760 Увы, нет. Ты меня спутал с каким-то другим брутальным наездником ежа.
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:18,570 Нет-нет-нет, это вряд ли.
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,700 Да закройся уже, я стараюсь не отсвечивать!
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,560 Не видел, я шляпу на глаза натянул?
00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,240 Извините, просто я ваш фанат.
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,370 Я слышал, вы прошли Sandbox Run за сутки.
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,210 Чёрт. Меня что, тут знают?
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,460 Не-не-не. Не бойтесь.
00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:32,360 Редкий сточновиллец бывал дальше «Театра Пупы».
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,460 Хорошо. Хорошо.
00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:35,840 Не знаешь, где можно оставить ежа на ночь?
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:39,220 Прямо здесь! Бесплатно.
00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,670 Спасибо, сынок.
00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,220 А где тут можно выпить?
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:48,710 Здравствуйте. Что вам налить?
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,600 Добрую кружку чего подешевле.
00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:51,830 Дворбаксы принимаете?
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,860 Я дам тебе комбинацию. Внутри — повозка со съестным.
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,920 И куда её доставить?
00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:58,570 Северо-западный угол, вот тут точно указано.
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,860 Не, Оскар, это слишком далеко.
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:03,410 Хватит с меня такого риска. У меня теперь подруга.
00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,740 Настоящая, не жёлудь с нарисованными сиськами.
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:09,980 Но ты единственный, кому я тут могу доверять! Пойми, людям грозит голод!
00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,670 Ну а кому сейчас во Дворе легко?
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,150 Я заплачу тебе 10 000 дворбаксов!
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,340 Дело не в деньгах.
00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:18,830 Сам знаешь, мне ради дела ничего не жаль, но сейчас — увы.
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:22,930 Надо перегнать повозку через Двор? Буду рад.
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,890 Мистер, будете подслушивать чужие разговоры — доиграетесь.
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:30,230 Вы не пожалеете! У меня есть ёж. Потащит так быстро, что никому не угнаться!
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,560 Где мы с ним только не были!
00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:37,880 Ишь распелся. Видал я таких. Я не веду дел с теми, кому не доверяю.
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:43,570 Этого-то я и хотел. Ну, свою порцию я съел.
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:46,030 Мне надо вернуться в звездолёт и убить себя.
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,950 Ну или давай ко мне, сыграем в одну настолку. Я её сам придумал!
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,340 Это типа Cranium плюс Trivial Pursuit плюс шуточки за триста из «Карт против всех»,
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:57,790 ну и немного заданий в духе Tik-Tok типа «Сделай то-то».
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,250 Уговорил. Я как услышал про задания типа что-то сделать,
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,740 то заинтересовался, хоть это и в конце было.
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:06,260 Вот только долго играть не получится, мои родные умерли.
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:12,230 Терри, ты только что побил рекорд — 200 уровней!
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,270 Но всё решит финальный бросок кубиков.
00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:20,160 Выбирай категорию:
00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:23,440 топы на тему массовой культуры, снятый с производства фастфуд,
00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:24,590 или собачьи звуки.
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,510 Не, ну легкотню выбрать никто не запрещал, давай топы.
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:31,040 Назови топ-десять смертей из франшизы «Пункт назначения»,
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,080 от которых восклицаешь «Охренеть!».
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,710 Пятнадцать секунд пошли!
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:38,550 От стрелы автовышки, от колючей проволоки, в солярии,
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:42,720 под упавшим стеклом, на тренажёре, когда пробило лестницей, когда слив в бассейне высосал кишки,
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:46,320 под колёсами скорой, от шрапнели в башку, ну и от брёвен с лесовоза.
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:48,350 Вот это да! Ты открыл тронный зал!
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,730 Так далеко ещё никто не проходил!
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,900 У тебя что, весь дом — игра?
00:12:54,910 --> 00:12:57,140 Джерри, да ты король!
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,960 Фу! Ну и вонь.
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:10,560 ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В СТОЧНОВИЛЛЬ ПЕРВЫЙ ПРИВАЛ ВО ДВОРЕ
00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:12,220 САЛУН ОСКАРА «СКВОРЕЧНИК»
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,100 Ого!
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,650 Так чисто тут ещё не было!
00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:20,320 Я работал всю ночь. Даже стойку из куска американских горок починил!
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,130 Дядя, смотри, стала ровная!
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:25,260 Я хотел, чтобы вы убедились — мне можно доверить дело.
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:29,770 И для этого ты припёрся в мой бар и перехватал все мои вещи?
00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:32,610 Ну, да, теперь вижу, меня неправильно поняли.
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:36,750 Но, если я не ошибаюсь, ты так и не нашёл никого, кто бы перевёз припасы.
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,340 Зачем тебе так это нужно?
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:41,390 Хочу помочь благому делу, спасти людей от голода.
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,690 Мне это всегда в радость.
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,470 Хорош лапшу на уши вешать! Давай, уматывай отсюда.
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,890 И чтоб я тебя здесь не видел!
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:49,430 За что ты так с ним?
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,020 Я знаю, кто есть кто, София. Таким, как он, доверять нельзя.
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:54,910 Алло, Марша Гей Харден?
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,810 Ты меня не знаешь. Я играю в сложнейшую домашнюю настолку,
00:13:57,820 --> 00:14:00,600 и для игры мне нужно твоё согласие на свидание.
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:02,300 Ага... Ага.
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:03,520 Ясно, понял.
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,340 Ещё раз позвоним — оформит охранный ордер.
00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:07,040 ТЕРРИ — ПОБЕДИТЕЛЬ!
00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,170 Постой, я выиграл?
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,110 Да! Марша сняла трубку, это уже 50 очков.
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,270 Ура! Ура! Отлично все поиграли.
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,370 Но только не я! Надо переиграть. Сейчас же!
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,310 Я бы с радостью, но увы.
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,940 Мой муж и репликанты застряли в отладчике дня.
00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:23,130 Для переноса на склад мне надо нажать кнопку.
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:27,640 Погоди. Мы протестировали все уровни игры. Вернёшься — выйдет, нашей встречи как бы и не было,
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,640 и они вновь будут непройденными?
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:32,100 Не хотел тебя огорчать, но думаю, да.
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:35,810 Исключено! Пока не доведём игру до совершенства, никуда не отпущу!
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:41,160 Да пошёл ты! До фабрики настолок, им понравится! Ты меня тут только цепями удержишь!
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,800 Сука! Я забыл, меня же приковали за пропуск трёх вопросов о цепях!
00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:47,170 Раскуй меня! Мне надо себя убить!
00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,720 Бросай кубики!
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:57,070 Четыре сточных пива, одну Двориту, пять Грязных Мэри...
00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,170 Налей-ка вон того растворителя из бочки.
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,920 Скипидар наберёт аромат пластика лишь через месяц!
00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:03,820 Наливай!
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,740 Хорош, приятель. Иди, охладись.
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:09,400 Э! Больно!
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,960 Может, ты в нём ошибался?
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,140 Да, ты сказал не появляться, но я увидел, вам нужна помощь.
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,390 Надеюсь, без обид.
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:20,120 Спасибо.
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,130 Эй, говножуй!
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,800 Макманус! Как ты меня нашёл?
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:30,240 Что с лицом, чел? Они мне заплатили. А ты вёл себя, как мудак. Нельзя так с фанатами.
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,490 Чего тебе, Макманус?
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,410 Разговор есть.
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:35,160 Что ты тут забыл, Макманус?
00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:37,470 Ты мне должен 10 000 дворбаксов.
00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:38,370 Где они?
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:41,190 Поговори с боссом. У меня есть ещё сутки.
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,600 Ну да, кто спорит?
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:46,070 Я лишь пришёл напомнить, что будет, если не отдашь.
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:56,160 В каком ситкоме с Кэндис Берген в главной роли...
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,280 Не знаю. «Куантико»?
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:57,680 Нет!
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,430 Ты уже на десять последних вопросов так ответил!
00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:03,040 Чёрт! О ужас! Я проиграл!
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,400 Сука, ненавижу проигрывать!
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,400 Можно уже домой?
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:06,870 Нет!
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,970 Тебе ещё предстоит прыгнуть в этот жёлоб. Внизу стоит массажное кресло. Я подвёл к нему ток.
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:13,820 Ошибёшься в вопросе о Тейлор Свифт — тебя ждёт разряд.
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:17,520 О Господи. Всё бы отдал, чтобы вернуться сейчас с семьёй в «Товары для дома»,
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:18,920 а не отвечать на эти вопросы!
00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:20,750 Ну нет, так совсем не прикольно.
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,020 Пудинг-мороженое настроение поднимет?
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:25,900 Ну, даже не знаю. Если он комнатной температуры.
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:29,440 Ну всё, сбегаю за ним, а потом ты прыгнешь в жёлоб!
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:34,340 Так. Я выиграл время на побег. А не выйдет — хоть пудинга поем! Так и так — я говорю с собой.
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:38,340 О! По тому телефону всяко же можно не только на свидание приглашать!
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,540 Копам звонить нельзя, сцапают.
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,360 Меня ищут за продажу порнокарт из Hearthstone.
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:49,560 Сраная цепь из закалённой стали!
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,610 И откуда я эту херню знаю?
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:55,970 Божечки, это же хозтовар! Цепи — это хозтовары!
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,490 ПРИСОЕДИНЯЙТЕСЬ! СОЛНЕЧНАЯ ЭНЕРГИЯ!
00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,240 Это Тео.
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,290 Тео, это Терри.
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,470 Я друг странного пришельца Корво, он тебя папочкой назвал. Это же сегодня было?
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,730 Ну да. Было странно.
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:09,200 Ты работаешь лишь с теми, для кого ваше дело — не шутки. Для меня — нет.
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:11,840 Но у тебя есть убеждения. Умоляю, сделай исключение.
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:13,700 ЧП по части хозтоваров?
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,530 Понимаю, звучит тупо, но да, так и есть.
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:19,680 Если кто-то вчера воротил от хозтоваров нос, а теперь просит меня о помощи, ему явно туго.
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,270 Я не могу бросить ремонт в беде.
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,370 Опиши мне ситуацию.
00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:27,400 Я прикован цепью. Она привинчена к стене. Самый обычный дом-настолка с ловушками.
00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:28,860 Инструменты у тебя есть?
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:33,990 Так. Напёрсток из «Монополии», полколоды карт из «Уно» и 400 фигурок из «Вархаммера».
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,240 Это уже что-то. В общем, я объясню, что делать, по шагам, но делай точно так, как я скажу.
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:42,410 Спасибо! У тебя доброе сердце, Тео! Как мне тебя отблагодарить?
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:44,160 Оформить кредитку «Товаров для дома».
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,230 И всё? Братишка!
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,870 Выберусь отсюда — непременно оформлю!
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,800 Да! Всё, давай тебя раскуём.
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:55,220 Спасибо. Теперь тебе, наверное, всё со мной ясно.
00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:56,110 Что ясно?
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,090 Что мне насрать на твоё благое дело.
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:02,220 Я лишь проигравшийся идиот в поисках дворбаксов для спасения своей шкуры.
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:04,790 Десяти тысяч дворбаксов, если точнее.
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,000 А работа-то ещё нужна?
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:08,310 Да. Погоди, серьёзно? Теперь ты мне доверяешь?
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,310 Нет. Но теперь ты со мной честен.
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,530 И пусть ты и не герой, у тебя есть мотивация. Такой мне нужен.
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:16,590 Спасибо. Я перевезу твою повозку через двор, обещаю.
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,720 Ну ещё бы. Ведь иначе Макманус тебя убьёт.
00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:21,510 Вот. Здесь 3000.
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,660 Остальное — когда доставишь повозку в точку на этой карте.
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,880 Советую выезжать на рассвете.
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:30,400 Терри, выходи играть!
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,610 Да ну нахер!
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:32,520 О Господи!
00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:34,250 ТЕРРИ: 00 ДЖЕРРИ: 82
00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:52,850 Попался, урод!
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,170 Нет! Прошу, останься!
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:58,360 Зачем тебе эти «Товары для дома»? Ты же их не выносишь!
00:18:58,390 --> 00:18:59,440 Затем, что, когда ты в браке,
00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:03,630 порой ради любимого мёртвого пришельца надо быть готовым к самому скучному и неприятному.
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,120 На то он и брак, бро.
00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:08,980 Твой муж — козёл какой-то. Вот мы были бы пара что надо!
00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:12,510 Кому была посвящена песня «Мы больше никогда не будем вместе»?
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:13,570 Джону Майеру?
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,000 Увы и ах.
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,360 Джилленхолу.
00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,200 Явился! Ты где пропадал?
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:23,470 Чел из пудинговой заставил играть в настолку.
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,360 Опять?
00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:27,760 Да, это моё слабое место. Обожаю попадаться на пудинг!
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:36,880 «Товары для дома», как я рад вас видеть! Атмосфера! Запахи! Унылые болты!
00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:39,050 Терри, я тебя просто не узнаю.
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:42,220 Походу, пока мы были в хроностазе, с тобой куча всего приключилась?
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:45,940 Не. Нет. Нет, я нажал на кнопку и умер одновременно со всеми.
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:49,430 Откуда у меня мандраж перед Тео? Вечно не знаю, что сказать.
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,200 Я точно знаю, что сказать.
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:55,570 Мистер Корво, как там ваша печь для пиццы?
00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:56,500 Привет, папочка.
00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:57,870 Как-как вы меня назвали?
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,180 Я сказал: «Привет, папочка»!
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:03,160 Могу я оформить кредитку «Товаров для дома»?
00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:07,390 Конечно! Обладатель нашей кредитки может называть меня, как угодно.
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:10,890 Итак, папочка, какие кирпичи мне лучше купить по моей кредитке?
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,980 Первоклассные из обожжённой глины.
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,710 А может, хватит чего попроще?
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,880 Ты меня не знаешь, Джерри, но я знаю, что весь твой дом — одна убойная настолка.
00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:24,950 Когда мой партнёр будет ходить за хозтоварами, я буду заходить к тебе с пудингом, поиграть.
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,030 Даже дам выиграть, лишь бы не похищал.
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:27,810 Как тебе?
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:30,730 Где-то я тебя видел. Может, во сне?
00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:33,270 Нет, в 16-м сезоне «Плохих девчонок».
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,640 А теперь ешь пудинг.
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,710 САЛУН ОСКАРА «СКВОРЕЧНИК»
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:40,520 А давай поставим в углу столик на двоих? Привлечём больше посетителей.
00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:46,810 Вот чёрт! София! Прячься! Скорей!
00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:47,870 Спрячься куда-нибудь.
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,080 И что бы ни услышала — не выходи до утра. Дай слово!
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:52,060 Мне страшно!
00:20:52,070 --> 00:20:53,510 Я люблю тебя.
00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:00,050 Мы закрыты.
00:21:00,490 --> 00:21:01,490 Говори, где?
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,090 Я тебя не боюсь.
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,570 Тогда ты мне не нужен.
00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:05,590 Стой, нет!
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,260 Наверняка же где-то здесь.
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,880 Где же?
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,580 Гадство... Пошёл!
00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:38,230 ПОНЧИКИ
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,720 Ну всё, Ежуля.
00:21:44,730 --> 00:21:48,600 Последнее дело, и у нас будет куда меньше хлопот.
00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:53,600 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,675 <i>Five, six.</i>
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,468 Six, seven... <i>- Seven,</i>
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,137 <i>- </i> [trainer] <i>eight.</i> - ...eight.
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,722 Terry, I'm finally ready.
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,473 Damn it, Korvo, you interrupted my last set
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,517 of [burps] burpees.
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,852 God, you're sexy.
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,603 Now get in the car, we're going to House Depot.
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,355 Ew, gross, what's at House Depot?
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,108 Everything we need to build a brick pizza oven in the backyard.
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,776 Finally, we can make-a da pizza!
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,361 A make-a da pizza!
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,488 I submitted my designs to myself last night,
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:33,199 and as of this morning, I gave myself the green light.
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,869 Alright, you almost never get ideas past yourself.
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,579 Yes, I'm a hard-to-please little slut.
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,789 Now, to buy the material so we can begin construction.
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,708 Replicants, family hardware trip!
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,377 Ooh, on the way, can we stop at Puddin' on the Ritz?
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,795 It's hands down the second-best
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,131 room-temp pudding pop pop-up shop in the region.
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,133 No, that's disgusting, I swear to God.
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,260 Get your asses down here, it's House Depot time!
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,511 We're coming!
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,847 Does it look like there's fewer little peeps in the wall?
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,432 You don't think a bunch of them got out, do you?
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,184 No way.
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,435 They're probably just hiding under
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,145 ornamental rocks like lizards.
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,354 Stop ignoring me!
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,398 I said we're coming, goddammit!
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,907 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,</i>
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,117 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,079 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,830 <i>and escaped into the... space,</i>
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,500 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,918 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,836 <i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,797 {\an8}<i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,048 {\an8}<i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,758 {\an8}<i>My name is Korvo. This is my show.</i>
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,093 {\an8}<i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,053 {\an8}<i>Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.</i>
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,137 {\an8}<i>It's a horrible home.</i>
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,639 {\an8}<i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,641 {\an8}<i>You can't feed your gremlins after midnight here.</i>
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,976 {\an8}<i>On Shlorp, our gremlins had a vibrant late-night scene</i>
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,354 {\an8}<i>that included dancing, food, and getting wet!</i>
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,028 Nope, that's my spot, get away!
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,698 Whoa. Geez.
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,827 {\an8}Aw, smell that? Sawdust.
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,829 {\an8}Look at all these doers getting more done.
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,123 {\an8}What the hell? This isn't a store, it's a warehouse!
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,791 {\an8}You wanna be coddled by shelves?
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,793 {\an8}Go to Ace. The Depot's for builders.
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,294 They have Banana Fanta!
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,338 {\an8}It's the last Fanta flavor I haven't tried.
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,549 {\an8}Check out those roomy washing machines.
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,092 {\an8}Wonder if they'd let me nap in one.
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,802 {\an8}Oh, the hoses are on sale.
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,554 {\an8}- Look, they have green ones! - Can we go?
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,681 {\an8}You know boring-ass bullshit makes my skin crawl.
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,182 There he is. Theo.
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,476 Who's Theo?
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,769 He's the DIY guy I've been
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,271 {\an8}talking to about Project Pizza Oven.
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,606 {\an8}He's so knowledgeable and patient with me,
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,066 {\an8}even though I ask too many questions.
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,360 {\an8}Are you crushing on a guy wearing a high-vis vest?
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,904 - Is that what's happening here? - No, I respect Theo.
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,323 {\an8}I fear him, I want to hear him say he's proud of me,
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,534 {\an8}and in my wildest fantasy, we discuss lumber prices.
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,453 {\an8}Aw, I'm glad you found someone who's gonna talk hardware with you,
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,372 {\an8}'cause I am never gonna do that.
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,749 {\an8}Thank God our marriage allows for platonic friendships.
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,544 {\an8}Ooh.
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,921 {\an8}Mr. Korvo, how's that pizza oven coming?
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,840 {\an8}Just choosing bricks for the foundation, Theo.
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,967 {\an8}Could you run me through the options again?
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,303 {\an8}Well, there are fire bricks, burnt clay bricks,
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,554 {\an8}sun-dried clay bricks.
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,222 {\an8}Ugh, so boring.
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,183 {\an8}This is worse than that time I tried to read a book.
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,684 {\an8}Escort me to the brick aisle, Theo.
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,103 {\an8}I wanna feel burnt clay in my hands.
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,689 {\an8}Spoken like a true craftsman. Follow me.
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,774 {\an8}Lead the way, Daddy.
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,777 {\an8}Ha, did you just call the House Depot guy "Daddy"?
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,946 {\an8}You know what? I just remembered,
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,116 {\an8}I have another customer who needs my help building a-a door.
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,243 Theo, come on, that was just a slip of the tongue.
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,536 We can bounce back from this, right?
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,413 Sorry, but I can only deal with people
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,915 who are serious about hardware.
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,999 I am serious.
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,375 I want to handcraft a pizza oven
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,002 we only use a couple of times.
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,671 Uh, YouTube has some helpful tutorials.
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,799 Congratulations, Korvo, you somehow made House Depot fun
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,009 for three seconds.
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,385 What the hell is wrong with me?
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,970 Why did I call Theo "Daddy"?
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,764 That's not a me thing, that's a you thing.
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,474 It was a classic Korvo meltdown.
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,517 You guys should've seen it. Total season one shit.
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,187 I was too busy not getting Banana Fanta
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,314 because a contractor bought the last bottles
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,607 for his HVAC guys.
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,359 I thought they were supposed to drink beer.
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,568 And I was having the nap of my life
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,237 in a two-and-a-half-cubic-foot front loader
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,738 until a 40-something childless couple
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,073 opened the door and tumbled me out.
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,532 Well, I hope everyone got their fill
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:02,992 of boring-ass House Depot,
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,494 because it's scorched earth now.
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,912 Theo has been on this pizza oven journey
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,163 with me from conception.
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,706 I can't lose him now.
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:11,251 Oh, Korvo, baby, he gone.
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,919 I can fix this. I just need another run
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,754 at that interaction, and luckily--
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,673 Please don't say there's a sci-fi way to do it.
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:20,260 Oh, shut up, you big silly, you love it when I go sci-fi.
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,429 Behold the Live Die Repeat Device.
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,056 Oh, shit, are we gonna get sued again?
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,849 I didn't know the Carlton dance was copyrighted
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,768 when I did it outside the window of <i>The Today Show.</i>
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,395 <i>This device was only inspired</i>
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,813 <i>by the film</i> Live Die Repeat,
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,357 <i>which was initially known as</i> Edge of Tomorrow,
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,817 <i>even though that title sucks ass.</i>
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,403 It was legit my favorite movie from 10 summers ago.
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,904 How does it work? <i>When it's your turn,</i>
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,364 <i>you press your wedge and die.</i>
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,241 <i>Then the chronotones are activated</i>
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,285 <i>and you repeat the day you just lived.</i>
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,161 Dammit, AISHA, that's so complicated.
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,705 I told you to make it like in the movie.
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,708 And I told you, WB's litigious as hell,
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,084 <i>hence the inspired by.</i>
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,544 <i>- We doing this or not?</i> - I'm sorry,
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,170 - did you just say we die? - Activate!
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,387 Yeesh, that's pretty grim.
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,347 Isn't he supposed to come back to life?
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,433 <i>It only works when you all do it.</i>
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,897 Ugh, I freaking hate House Depot!
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,657 I'm taking the spot again.
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,909 I know it causes an accident, but I don't care.
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,330 Ugh, it's worse than I remember.
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,415 There's that couple. I'm gonna chase them away with this broom
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,875 so they don't interrupt my nap later.
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,960 Come to mama, 'nana Fanta.
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,671 Hey, there's nothing to be nervous about.
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,423 You're a hyper-intelligent alien being,
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,425 and he's a guy who upsells toilet seats.
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,676 You're right, I got this.
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,220 Mr. Korvo, how's that pizza oven coming?
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,473 Going good, Daddy-- Fuck!
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,391 I don't why I keep calling Theo "Daddy."
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,185 But we're not gonna get to the bottom of that today.
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,603 I just have to keep live, die,
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,730 repeating until I get this brick interaction right.
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,358 I'm gonna sit this one out. I've got a citronella headache.
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,193 <i>If Terry doesn't do it, none of y'all can.</i>
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,362 <i>The chronotones only work if you all do it.</i>
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,155 Why? <i>You know I'm too busy</i>
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,990 <i>to keep track of multiple time streams.</i>
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,658 <i>You're lucky I let you do it at all, bitch.</i>
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,994 Family vote, who wants to go back to House Depot?
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,288 Ugh, fine.
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,665 Thank you, Terry, for always respecting the outcome of votes.
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,209 It's one of my two core values.
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,753 Respect the vote and never use the laughing/crying emoji.
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,926 Why don't we have any kids' chewable aspirin?
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,219 You know I don't like to swallow.
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,428 <i>Your turn to die, Terry.</i>
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,679 <i>Get your ass in the seat.</i>
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,806 Okay, I better hurry up
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,808 so I can go back to House Depot.
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,601 Hold up, hold up. <i>Terry...</i>
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,186 Does it hurt? <i>No.</i>
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,896 <i>They're frozen in a state of chronological limbo</i>
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,981 <i>- until you die.</i> - Well, limbo's comfy, right?
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,650 People hang out there forever sometimes.
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,068 <i>Their chronotones are frozen.</i>
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,444 <i>They aren't aware of anything.</i>
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,029 Great, I'm just gonna take a quick 10,
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,156 and then I'll die and repeat, BRB.
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,575 <i>Terry, get your ass back in that sci-fi SIMON</i>
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,868 <i>and kill yourself!</i>
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:51,953 <i>Terry!</i>
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,087 Damn, that went fast.
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,672 Ugh, gotta get back to the thing.
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:06,050 Ooh, bit ripe, better shower up first.
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,010 Morning, who are the early birds?
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,595 Oh, just some fellas passing through
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,180 on their way to Basketballburgh.
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,973 Do you remember when Yumyulack first left
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,183 that basketball out here?
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,267 What did I say?
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,019 Somebody's gonna hollow that thing out
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,645 and start living in it.
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,064 You were right, Uncle. You always are.
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,317 You're buttering me up. What do you want, Sofia?
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,818 Well, all my friends are heading out
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,778 to see the Pepsi can, and I was hoping--
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,906 Not today, I need you here minding The Birdhouse
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,407 while I conduct some business.
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,784 But you never let me go anywhere.
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,786 And the soda's fresh now.
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,288 If I wait, it'll lose its fizz.
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,582 Sofia, that can is deeper into the yard.
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,792 It isn't like over here by the house and the downspout.
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,294 It's too dangerous!
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,837 I have to keep you safe, dammit.
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,923 I'm the reason you're small to begin with.
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,342 Uncle Oscar, you can't blame yourself.
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,801 If I hadn't shushed Yumyulack
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,386 when he made a phone call during <i>Luca,</i>
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,972 you'd be in your sophomore year at Brown right now.
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,266 You know what?
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,392 Maybe Terry will toss another Pepsi
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,727 a little closer to town.
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,521 I'm sure he will, sweetie.
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,526 Oh, man, great post-shower miniseries.
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,027 You think those brothers aren't gonna band,
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,654 but then...
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,947 Wonder what that war was about?
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,823 Schwimmer!
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:56,410 Ah, well, I'm rested, relaxed, and out of excuses.
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,538 Time to just suck it up and get back to House Depot...
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,665 - right after a snack. - Terry.
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,208 Korvo wouldn't let me have pudding earlier.
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,709 It makes total sense for me to get some now
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,169 while he's in limbzees.
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,129 {\an8}I got one marshmallow pudding
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,422 {\an8}with cool ranch sprinkles
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:09,966 {\an8}and a side of extra thick pudding skin for--
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,050 That'd be me. That'd be me.
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,927 {\an8}Ugh, it's for Jerry.
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,804 {\an8}Please, let me finish saying the names.
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,931 {\an8}This one's for Terry.
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,767 I've never met someone with my exact same pudding order.
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,310 You've got great taste.
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,687 Well, it doesn't hurt that it tastes great.
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,691 BT dubs, love your shirt. Is it ironic?
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,693 This? No, it's sincere.
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,236 I've been working on something in the same area,
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,445 but this is better.
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,323 Well, I adore your Helvetica in Courier shirt.
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:37,618 It's amazing what you can do with a public domain font.
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,496 Good eye. Hey, am I crazy or do we have a rapport?
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,331 You know what? I think we do.
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:45,251 Wanna join me? My booth has a great view of the highway.
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,961 Alright, cars and trucks!
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,226 Whoa, Hedgey.
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,020 Easy, boy, easy.
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,232 Hey, hey, aren't you Gavin?
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,984 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,195 You are. I'd know that hedgehog anywhere.
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,530 Sorry, you got me confused
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,282 for some other ruggedly handsome hedgehog man.
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,576 Nah, nah, nah, I don't think so.
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,703 Dude, shut up, I'm trying to keep a low profile!
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,288 Didn't you see me pull my hat down?
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,248 Sorry, I'm just a fan.
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,375 I heard you did the Sandbox Run in under a day.
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,127 Oh, shit, am I known around here?
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,420 Nah, nah, you're good.
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,630 Most Gutterville folks haven't even
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,089 been past Pupa's playhouse.
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,466 Good, good.
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,843 You know anywhere I can post my hog for the night?
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,221 Right here, free of charge.
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,348 Thanks, kid.
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,224 Where do I get a drink?
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,606 Hey, what can I get you?
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,608 Tall glass of whatever's cheapest.
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,692 You take yard bucks?
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,027 I'll give you the combination.
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,737 Inside is a cart full of food.
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,906 - Where do you need it to go? - The northwest corner
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,574 at this exact location.
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,868 Ah, shit, Oscar, it's too far.
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,412 I can't be taking risks like that anymore. Got a girlfriend now.
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,748 A real-life girlfriend, not that acorn I drew boobs on.
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,042 But you're the only one I can trust to get it there.
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,835 If not, people will starve.
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,671 Look, the yard's tough for everybody now.
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,006 I'll pay you 10,000 yard bucks.
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,341 It's not about the money.
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,134 You know I would do anything for the cause,
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,427 but not this time.
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,932 Oh, oh, if you're looking to get a cart across the yard, I'm your guy.
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,308 Mister, you can get in big trouble
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,893 listening to other people's business.
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,061 You'll be glad I did.
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,813 I got a hedgehog can pull your cart
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,231 faster than anybody.
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,440 We've been to all the territories
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,566 and a few others.
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,360 Save it, I know your type.
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,113 I don't do business with people I don't trust.
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,867 Ah, this is exactly what I needed.
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,369 Well, my pudding is done.
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,038 I must return to my alien spaceship and kill myself.
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,373 Or you could come to my place
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,874 and play a board game I invented.
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,001 It's like <i>Cranium</i> meets <i>Trivial Pursuit</i>
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,795 with the internet-lol-bacon-humor
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,213 of <i>Cards Against Humanity</i>
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,591 and a splash of TikTok's physical challenges.
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,136 You had me at a splash of TikTok's physical challenges,
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,345 which was at the end of your pitch,
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:02,805 but that did lock me in.
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640 Ooh, but I can only play for a little bit though,
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,725 my family's dead.
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:12,022 Terry, you just completed a record-breaking 200 levels.
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,942 But this final roll determines everything.
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,907 Your trivia category choices are pop culture listicles,
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,618 discontinued snack foods, or dog sounds.
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,246 Hey, no shame in going for the easiest one, gimme the listicles.
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,165 What are the top 10 deaths
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,041 in the <i>Final Destination</i> franchise
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,085 that make you say, "Da fuq?"
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,712 Fifteen seconds, go!
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,422 Cut in half by a cherry picker,
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,466 cut in half by barbed wire, cooked in a tanning bed,
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,134 crushed by a pane of glass, crushed by weights,
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,511 impaled by a ladder, guts sucked out by a swimming pool drain,
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,764 beheaded by shrapnel, ironically hit by an ambulance
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,223 and the log truck. Whoa!
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,350 You just unlocked the throne room!
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,478 No one's ever gotten this far!
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,899 Your whole house is the game?
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,609 Jerry, you are the king!
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,322 Ugh, stinky.
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,043 Whoa!
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,546 - I've never seen it so clean. - I worked all night.
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,924 Even fixed the bar top you built from an old Wahoo's coaster.
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,134 Look, Uncle, the wobble's gone.
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,636 I wanted to show you that I'm a man
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,179 you can trust to get things done.
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,181 So to get me to trust you,
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,642 you broke into my bar and touched all my stuff?
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,520 Well, I, uh, I can see now how that was misguided.
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,104 But, unless I'm mistaken,
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,732 you still haven't found anyone to pull your cart.
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,192 Why do you want this job so bad?
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,320 I wanna help your cause, hungry people, right?
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,696 I love to help the starving.
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,198 Nope, you're nothing but a bullshitter.
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,324 You aren't welcome here.
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,368 Get out and don't come back!
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,746 - That was harsh. - I know people, Sofia.
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,748 You can never trust a man like that.
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,917 Hello, Marcia Gay Harden?
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,085 You don't know me, but I'm playing an
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,795 incredibly detailed homebrew board game,
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,005 and I need you to agree to be my dream date to win.
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,299 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,385 Okay, thanks. She said she'd take out a
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,678 restraining order if we called again.
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,889 - Wait, did I win? - Yes.
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,225 It's 50 points if Marcia picks up at all.
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,269 Oh, yay, hey, good game to everyone.
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,603 No, it wasn't for me!
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,272 We need a rematch. Now!
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,190 Oof, would love to, but I can't.
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,441 My husband and replicants are stuck
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,026 in a Live Die Repeat machine.
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,945 I gotta hit a button that'll send us back to House Deeps.
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,948 So when you repeat today, it'll be like we never met,
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,158 and all my game levels we play tested
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,577 will be unfinished again?
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078 Weird part of my story to focus on.
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,997 - But yeah, I guess. - Unacceptable!
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,749 You're staying here and playing my game until it's perfect!
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,043 Take your games and shove them up your Milton Bradley!
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,421 Only way I'm staying here is if you chain me to the wall.
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,589 Ah!
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,007 Dammit, I forgot I got chained
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,800 when I missed three 2 Chainz questions.
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,635 Unlock me, I gotta kill myself.
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,221 Your roll!
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,896 I need four gutter beers, one Yardarita, five mudslides--
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,899 Gimme a shot of that barrel-aged paint thinner.
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,483 Needs another month for the turpentine
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,735 to absorb the flavor of the plastic.
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,819 Gimme!
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,531 Not in here, buddy. You take it outside.
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,117 Hey, that hurts.
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,702 Maybe you're wrong about him.
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,496 Ah!
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,248 I know you said stay away,
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,083 but looked like you could use some help.
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,127 - Hope that's okay. - Thanks.
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,754 Hey, shitbird!
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,465 McManus, how'd you find me?
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,593 Oh, hey, what's up man? These guys paid me.
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,054 Also, you were kind of a dick, so treat your fans better.
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,347 Dude, what the hell?
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307 We need to talk.
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,975 What are you doing here, McManus?
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478 You owe me 10,000 yard bucks.
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,396 - Where is it? - Talk to your boss.
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,190 I got another day to pay.
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,608 Oh, that's right, you do.
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,736 I'm just here to remind you what happens if you don't.
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:56,163 What was the sitcom starring Candice Bergen that--
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,665 - I don't know, <i>Quantico?</i> - Wrong!
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,376 You've given that same answer the last 10 times.
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,920 Oh, no, shit, I lose.
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,297 Dammit, I'm so pissed about losing.
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,757 - Can I go home now? - No.
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,592 You still need to fall down another chute
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,260 into a massage chair I rigged
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,681 to shock you if you get a question wrong about Taylor Swift.
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,641 Oh God, I would do anything to be back
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,309 with my family at House Depot right now
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,936 instead of answering TayTay triv.
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,688 I want this to be fun again.
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,940 Would it help if I got us some pudding?
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,901 I don't know, maybe. If it was room temp.
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,779 Ooh, I'll run to the store, and then down the chute you go!
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,323 Okay, I bought some time to escape.
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,700 And if I can't do that, at least there'll be pudding.
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,243 Either way, I'm talking to myself.
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,203 I bet I can use that dream date phone
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,663 to call non-dreamy dates.
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,545 Can't call the cops or they'll arrest me.
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,755 I've got a warrant for selling pornographic <i>Hearthstone</i> cards.
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,966 Ugh, damn this grade-70 cable chain!
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,468 Ugh, why do I know that boring information?
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,012 Oh, my God, it's hardware.
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,930 Chains is just hardware.
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,185 This is Theo. <i>Theo, this is Terry.</i>
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,187 <i>I'm the alien friend of that other weird alien, Korvo,</i>
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,314 <i>who called you Daddy this morning. That was today, right?</i>
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,816 Yeah, man, that was weird.
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,776 I know you only help people who take home repairs seriously,
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,111 which I do not,
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,612 but you're a man with core values,
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,072 so I'm begging you to make an exception.
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,699 Is this a hardware emergency?
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,534 <i>Oh, that sounds so stupid, but yes, it is.</i>
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,619 If someone who hates hardware is calling me up
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,663 asking for help, it must be dire.
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,124 I cannot turn my back on a home repair in need.
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,459 Tell me what you're seeing.
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,419 I-I'm cable chained to a wall. There are screws.
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,254 Otherwise, it's a standard board game trap house.
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,839 <i>Do you have any tools?</i>
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133 Let's see, the <i>Monopoly</i> thimble, a pudding spoon,
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,761 half a deck of <i>Uno</i> cards, and 400 <i>Warhammer</i> figurines.
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,012 <i>We can work with that.</i>
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,430 <i>Alright, I'll talk you through this</i>
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:39,224 <i>step-by-step, but do exactly as I say.</i>
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,060 Thank you. Oh, you're a good man, Theo.
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,269 How can I ever repay you?
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,021 Sign up for the House Depot credit card.
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,981 <i>That's it? Oh, bro. If I get outta here,</i>
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,733 <i>I will absolutely do that.</i>
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,611 Yes! Let's get you unchained.
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,948 Thanks, I guess now you know the truth about me.
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,158 And what's that?
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,993 That I don't give a shit about your cause.
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,870 I'm just some idiot who made bad bets
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,081 and I need yard bucks to save my ass.
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,792 10,000 yard bucks to be exact.
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,001 You still want the job?
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,419 Yeah, wait, really?
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,587 - You trust me now? - No.
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,214 But you're finally being honest with me.
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,673 And if I can't get a hero,
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,425 then I need someone who's motivated.
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,843 Thank you, I promise
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,595 I'll get your cart across the yard.
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,763 Oh, I know you will
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,723 or the McManus guy is gonna kill you.
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,517 Here, that's 3,000.
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,810 You'll get the rest when you deliver
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,478 to the spot marked on this map.
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,605 I suggest you leave at dawn.
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:30,400 Terry, come out to play!
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,528 - What the hell? - Oh, God!
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,339 Mouse trap, bitch!
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,175 No, please stay.
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,261 Why go to House Depot?
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,387 You hate it there.
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,513 Because when you're married,
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,098 sometimes you gotta do the most boring,
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,559 terrible things to support the dead alien you love.
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,102 It's part of the vow, bro.
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,104 Your husband sounds like an asshole.
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,689 You should be married to me.
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,232 Who was the Taylor Swift song
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,234 <i>We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together</i> about?
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,569 John Mayer?
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,653 Oh, my dear boy.
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,363 Gyllenhaal.
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,285 <i>Boy, where the hell you been?</i>
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,328 A guy I met at a pudding shop trapped me in his board game.
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,664 <i>Again?</i> - I know, it's my Achilles heel.
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,166 I love a good, old puddin' trap.
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,505 House Depot, I'm so happy to see you!
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,884 The feels, the smells, the boring bolts, ah!
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,844 This is a huge attitude flip for you, Terry.
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,262 Did you do a whole story
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,139 while the rest of us were in chronological limbo?
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,224 No, nope, no, I-I pushed the button
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,601 and died right when you did.
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,312 Why do I get so nervous around Theo?
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,438 I never know what to say.
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,773 I know exactly what to say.
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,485 Mr. Korvo, how's that pizza oven coming?
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,696 - Hey, Daddy. - What did you just call me?
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,656 I said, hey, Daddy...
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,160 can I sign up for the House Depot credit card?
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,412 Of course! When you're an HD card holder,
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,372 you can call me anything you want.
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,707 So tell me, Daddy,
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,751 what kind of bricks should I buy with my new credit card?
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,753 I would go first-class burnt clay.
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,338 Huh, you don't think that's overkill?
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,716 You don't know me, Jerry,
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092 but I know that your whole house
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,802 is one kick-ass board game.
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,763 So every time my partner's at House Depot,
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,890 I'm gonna bring pudding over and we'll play.
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,934 I'll even let you win so you don't kidnap me.
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,394 - How's that sound? - You look so familiar,
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729 like from a dream.
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,273 Nah, I was on season 16 of <i>Bad Girls Club.</i>
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,399 Now eat your pudding.
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,653 You know, I was thinking, for better flow,
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,905 we could add a two-top table over in the corner.
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,495 Oh, shit, Sofia. Hide. Now.
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,871 Find a place to hide.
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:48,956 Don't come out till morning
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,332 no matter what you hear.
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,792 - Promise me. - I'm scared.
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,126 I love you.
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,716 We're closed.
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,301 Where is it?
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,095 I'm not scared of you.
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,222 - Then you're of no use to me. - No, no, no, wait!
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,646 It's gotta be in here somewhere.
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,398 Where is it?
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,580 Goddammit. Hyah!
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:44,720 Alright, Hedgey.
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,305 One last job, and then life will get
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,723 a whole lot simpler.

00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,919 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,923 ♪
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,675 <i>Five, six.</i>
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,468 - [Terry] Six, seven... <i>- Seven,</i>
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,137 <i>- </i> [trainer] <i>eight.</i> - ...eight. [sighs]
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,722 Terry, I'm finally ready.
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,473 Damn it, Korvo, you interrupted my last set
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,517 of [burps] burpees.
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,852 God, you're sexy.
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,603 Now get in the car, we're going to House Depot.
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,355 Ew, gross, what's at House Depot?
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,108 Everything we need to build a brick pizza oven in the backyard.
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,776 Finally, we can make-a da pizza!
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,361 A make-a da pizza!
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,488 I submitted my designs to myself last night,
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:33,199 and as of this morning, I gave myself the green light.
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,869 Alright, you almost never get ideas past yourself.
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,579 Yes, I'm a hard-to-please little slut.
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,789 Now, to buy the material so we can begin construction.
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,708 Replicants, family hardware trip!
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,377 Ooh, on the way, can we stop at Puddin' on the Ritz?
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,795 It's hands down the second-best
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,131 room-temp pudding pop pop-up shop in the region.
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,133 No, that's disgusting, I swear to God.
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,260 Get your asses down here, it's House Depot time!
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,511 We're coming!
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,847 Does it look like there's fewer little peeps in the wall?
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,432 You don't think a bunch of them got out, do you?
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,184 - [finger tapping] - No way.
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,435 They're probably just hiding under
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,145 ornamental rocks like lizards.
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,354 [Korvo] Stop ignoring me!
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,398 I said we're coming, goddammit!
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:10,570 [♪ dramatic music]
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,907 KORVO: <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,</i>
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,117 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,079 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,830 <i>and escaped into the... space,</i>
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,500 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,918 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,836 <i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,797 {\an8}<i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,048 {\an8}<i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,758 {\an8}<i>My name is Korvo. This is my show.</i>
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,093 {\an8}<i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,053 {\an8}<i>Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.</i>
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,137 {\an8}<i>It's a horrible home.</i>
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,639 {\an8}<i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,641 {\an8}<i>You can't feed your gremlins after midnight here.</i>
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,976 {\an8}<i>On Shlorp, our gremlins had a vibrant late-night scene</i>
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,354 {\an8}<i>that included dancing, food, and getting wet!</i>
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:47,565 [♪ dramatic music]
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,028 [Korvo] Nope, that's my spot, get away!
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,488 [tires screeching, cars crashing]
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,698 - [Yumyulack] Whoa. - [Jesse] Geez.
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,827 {\an8}Aw, smell that? Sawdust.
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,829 {\an8}Look at all these doers getting more done.
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,123 {\an8}What the hell? This isn't a store, it's a warehouse!
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,791 {\an8}You wanna be coddled by shelves?
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,793 {\an8}Go to Ace. The Depot's for builders.
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,294 {\an8}[gasps] They have Banana Fanta!
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,338 {\an8}It's the last Fanta flavor I haven't tried.
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,549 {\an8}Check out those roomy washing machines.
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,092 {\an8}Wonder if they'd let me nap in one.
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,802 {\an8}Oh, the hoses are on sale.
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,554 {\an8}- Look, they have green ones! - Can we go?
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,681 {\an8}You know boring-ass bullshit makes my skin crawl.
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,182 There he is. Theo.
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,476 - [♪ enchanting music] - [Terry] Who's Theo?
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,769 He's the DIY guy I've been
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,271 {\an8}talking to about Project Pizza Oven.
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,606 {\an8}He's so knowledgeable and patient with me,
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,066 {\an8}even though I ask too many questions.
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,360 {\an8}Are you crushing on a guy wearing a high-vis vest?
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,904 - Is that what's happening here? - No, I respect Theo.
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,323 {\an8}I fear him, I want to hear him say he's proud of me,
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,534 {\an8}and in my wildest fantasy, we discuss lumber prices.
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,453 {\an8}Aw, I'm glad you found someone who's gonna talk hardware with you,
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,372 {\an8}'cause I am never gonna do that.
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,749 {\an8}Thank God our marriage allows for platonic friendships.
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,334 {\an8}[moaning, kisses smacking]
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,544 {\an8}- [hand smacking butt] - Ooh.
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,921 {\an8}Mr. Korvo, how's that pizza oven coming?
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,840 {\an8}Just choosing bricks for the foundation, Theo.
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,967 {\an8}Could you run me through the options again?
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,303 {\an8}Well, there are fire bricks, burnt clay bricks,
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,554 {\an8}sun-dried clay bricks.
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,222 {\an8}Ugh, so boring.
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,183 {\an8}This is worse than that time I tried to read a book.
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,684 {\an8}Escort me to the brick aisle, Theo.
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,103 {\an8}I wanna feel burnt clay in my hands.
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,689 {\an8}Spoken like a true craftsman. Follow me.
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,774 {\an8}- Lead the way, Daddy. - [Terry gasps]
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,777 {\an8}Ha, did you just call the House Depot guy "Daddy"?
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,946 {\an8}You know what? I just remembered,
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,116 {\an8}I have another customer who needs my help building a-a door.
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,243 Theo, come on, that was just a slip of the tongue.
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,536 We can bounce back from this, right?
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,413 Sorry, but I can only deal with people
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,915 who are serious about hardware.
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,999 I am serious.
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,375 I want to handcraft a pizza oven
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,002 we only use a couple of times.
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,671 Uh, YouTube has some helpful tutorials.
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,799 Congratulations, Korvo, you somehow made House Depot fun
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,009 for three seconds.
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,385 What the hell is wrong with me?
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,970 Why did I call Theo "Daddy"?
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,764 That's not a me thing, that's a you thing.
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,474 It was a classic Korvo meltdown.
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,517 You guys should've seen it. Total season one shit.
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,187 I was too busy not getting Banana Fanta
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,314 because a contractor bought the last bottles
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,607 for his HVAC guys.
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,359 I thought they were supposed to drink beer.
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,568 And I was having the nap of my life
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,237 in a two-and-a-half-cubic-foot front loader
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,738 until a 40-something childless couple
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,073 opened the door and tumbled me out.
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,532 Well, I hope everyone got their fill
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:02,992 of boring-ass House Depot,
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,494 because it's scorched earth now.
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,912 Theo has been on this pizza oven journey
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,163 with me from conception.
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,706 I can't lose him now.
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:11,251 Oh, Korvo, baby, he gone.
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,919 I can fix this. I just need another run
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,754 at that interaction, and luckily--
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,673 Please don't say there's a sci-fi way to do it.
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:20,260 Oh, shut up, you big silly, you love it when I go sci-fi.
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,429 Behold the Live Die Repeat Device.
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,056 Oh, shit, are we gonna get sued again?
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,849 I didn't know the Carlton dance was copyrighted
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,768 when I did it outside the window of <i>The Today Show.</i>
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,395 [AISHA] <i>This device was only inspired</i>
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,813 <i>by the film</i> Live Die Repeat,
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,357 <i>which was initially known as</i> Edge of Tomorrow,
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,817 <i>even though that title sucks ass.</i>
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,403 It was legit my favorite movie from 10 summers ago.
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,904 - How does it work? - [AISHA] <i>When it's your turn,</i>
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,364 <i>you press your wedge and die.</i>
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,241 <i>Then the chronotones are activated</i>
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,285 <i>and you repeat the day you just lived.</i>
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,161 Dammit, AISHA, that's so complicated.
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,705 I told you to make it like in the movie.
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,708 [AISHA<i>] And I told you, WB's litigious as hell,</i>
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,084 <i>hence the inspired by.</i>
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,544 <i>- We doing this or not?</i> - I'm sorry,
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,170 - did you just say we die? - Activate!
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,547 [button beeps]
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,425 [Korvo grunting]
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,387 Yeesh, that's pretty grim.
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,347 Isn't he supposed to come back to life?
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,433 [AISHA] <i>It only works when you all do it.</i>
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,102 - [button beeps] - [Jesse grunting]
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,812 - [button beeps] - [Yumyulack grunting]
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,897 Ugh, I freaking hate House Depot!
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,899 [Terry grunts]
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,361 [air whooshing]
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,657 [Korvo] I'm taking the spot again.
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,909 I know it causes an accident, but I don't care.
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,330 Ugh, it's worse than I remember.
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,415 There's that couple. I'm gonna chase them away with this broom
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,875 so they don't interrupt my nap later.
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,960 Come to mama, 'nana Fanta.
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,671 Hey, there's nothing to be nervous about.
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,423 You're a hyper-intelligent alien being,
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,425 and he's a guy who upsells toilet seats.
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,676 You're right, I got this.
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,220 Mr. Korvo, how's that pizza oven coming?
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,473 Going good, Daddy-- Fuck!
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,391 I don't why I keep calling Theo "Daddy."
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,185 But we're not gonna get to the bottom of that today.
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,603 I just have to keep live, die,
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,730 repeating until I get this brick interaction right.
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,358 I'm gonna sit this one out. I've got a citronella headache.
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,193 [AISHA] <i>If Terry doesn't do it, none of y'all can.</i>
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,362 <i>The chronotones only work if you all do it.</i>
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,155 - Why? - [AISHA] <i>You know I'm too busy</i>
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,990 <i>to keep track of multiple time streams.</i>
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,658 <i>You're lucky I let you do it at all, bitch.</i>
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,994 Family vote, who wants to go back to House Depot?
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,288 Ugh, fine.
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,665 Thank you, Terry, for always respecting the outcome of votes.
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,209 It's one of my two core values.
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,753 Respect the vote and never use the laughing/crying emoji.
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,296 - [button beeps] - [Yumyulack grunts]
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,672 - [button beeps] - [Korvo grunts]
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:22,965 - [button beeps] - [Jesse grunts]
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,926 Why don't we have any kids' chewable aspirin?
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,219 You know I don't like to swallow.
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,428 [AISHA] <i>Your turn to die, Terry.</i>
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,679 <i>Get your ass in the seat.</i>
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,806 Okay, I better hurry up
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,808 so I can go back to House Depot.
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,601 - Hold up, hold up. - [AISHA] <i>Terry...</i>
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,186 - Does it hurt? - [AISHA] <i>No.</i>
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,896 <i>They're frozen in a state of chronological limbo</i>
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,981 <i>- until you die.</i> - Well, limbo's comfy, right?
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,650 People hang out there forever sometimes.
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,068 [AISHA] <i>Their chronotones are frozen.</i>
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,444 <i>They aren't aware of anything.</i>
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,029 Great, I'm just gonna take a quick 10,
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,156 and then I'll die and repeat, BRB.
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,575 [AISHA] <i>Terry, get your ass back in that sci-fi SIMON</i>
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,868 <i>and kill yourself!</i>
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:51,953 <i>Terry!</i>
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,166 [Terry snoring]
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,544 [alarm beeps]
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,087 Damn, that went fast.
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,672 Ugh, gotta get back to the thing.
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:06,050 [sniffs] Ooh, bit ripe, better shower up first.
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,761 [can clanking]
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,682 [♪ dramatic music]
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,517 [slurps]
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,313 [♪ spaghetti western music]
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,191 ♪
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,044 [lock clicks]
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,010 Morning, who are the early birds?
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,595 Oh, just some fellas passing through
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,180 on their way to Basketballburgh.
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,973 Do you remember when Yumyulack first left
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,183 that basketball out here?
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,267 What did I say?
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,019 Somebody's gonna hollow that thing out
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,645 and start living in it.
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,064 You were right, Uncle. You always are.
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,317 You're buttering me up. What do you want, Sofia?
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,818 Well, all my friends are heading out
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,778 to see the Pepsi can, and I was hoping--
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,906 Not today, I need you here minding The Birdhouse
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,407 while I conduct some business.
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,784 But you never let me go anywhere.
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,786 And the soda's fresh now.
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,288 If I wait, it'll lose its fizz.
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,582 Sofia, that can is deeper into the yard.
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,792 It isn't like over here by the house and the downspout.
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,294 It's too dangerous!
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,837 I have to keep you safe, dammit.
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,923 I'm the reason you're small to begin with.
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,342 Uncle Oscar, you can't blame yourself.
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,801 If I hadn't shushed Yumyulack
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,386 when he made a phone call during <i>Luca,</i>
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,972 you'd be in your sophomore year at Brown right now.
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,266 You know what?
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,392 Maybe Terry will toss another Pepsi
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,727 a little closer to town.
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,521 I'm sure he will, sweetie.
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,526 Oh, man, great post-shower miniseries.
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,027 You think those brothers aren't gonna band,
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,654 but then... [chuckles]
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,947 Wonder what that war was about?
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,823 - Schwimmer! - [JK Sevens beeping]
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:56,410 Ah, well, I'm rested, relaxed, and out of excuses.
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,538 Time to just suck it up and get back to House Depot...
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,665 - right after a snack. - Terry.
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,208 Korvo wouldn't let me have pudding earlier.
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,709 It makes total sense for me to get some now
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,169 while he's in limbzees.
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,129 {\an8}I got one marshmallow pudding
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,422 {\an8}with cool ranch sprinkles
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:09,966 {\an8}and a side of extra thick pudding skin for--
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,050 {\an8}- [Terry] That'd be me. - [man] That'd be me.
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,927 {\an8}Ugh, it's for Jerry.
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,804 {\an8}Please, let me finish saying the names.
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,931 {\an8}This one's for Terry.
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,767 I've never met someone with my exact same pudding order.
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,310 You've got great taste.
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,687 Well, it doesn't hurt that it tastes great.
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,063 [Jerry and Terry laughing]
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,691 BT dubs, love your shirt. Is it ironic?
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,693 This? No, it's sincere.
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,236 I've been working on something in the same area,
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,445 but this is better.
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,323 Well, I adore your Helvetica in Courier shirt.
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:37,618 It's amazing what you can do with a public domain font.
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,496 Good eye. Hey, am I crazy or do we have a rapport?
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,331 You know what? I think we do.
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:45,251 Wanna join me? My booth has a great view of the highway.
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,961 Alright, cars and trucks!
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,591 [feet scurrying]
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,970 ♪
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,226 Whoa, Hedgey.
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,020 Easy, boy, easy.
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,232 Hey, hey, aren't you Gavin?
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,984 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,195 You are. [laughs] I'd know that hedgehog anywhere.
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,530 Sorry, you got me confused
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,282 for some other ruggedly handsome hedgehog man.
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,576 Nah, nah, nah, I don't think so.
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,703 Dude, shut up, I'm trying to keep a low profile!
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,288 Didn't you see me pull my hat down?
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,248 Sorry, I'm just a fan.
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,375 I heard you did the Sandbox Run in under a day.
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,127 Oh, shit, am I known around here?
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,420 Nah, nah, you're good.
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,630 Most Gutterville folks haven't even
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,089 been past Pupa's playhouse.
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,466 Good, good.
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,843 You know anywhere I can post my hog for the night?
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,221 Right here, free of charge.
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,348 Thanks, kid.
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,224 Where do I get a drink?
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,310 [people chattering]
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,063 [♪ Western piano music]
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,606 Hey, what can I get you?
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,608 Tall glass of whatever's cheapest.
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,692 You take yard bucks?
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,027 I'll give you the combination.
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,737 Inside is a cart full of food.
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,906 - Where do you need it to go? - The northwest corner
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,574 at this exact location.
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,868 Ah, shit, Oscar, it's too far.
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,412 I can't be taking risks like that anymore. Got a girlfriend now.
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,748 A real-life girlfriend, not that acorn I drew boobs on.
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,042 But you're the only one I can trust to get it there.
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,835 If not, people will starve.
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,671 Look, the yard's tough for everybody now.
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,006 - I'll pay you 10,000 yard bucks. - [splutters]
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,341 It's not about the money.
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,134 You know I would do anything for the cause,
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,427 but not this time.
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,932 Oh, oh, if you're looking to get a cart across the yard, I'm your guy.
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,308 Mister, you can get in big trouble
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,893 listening to other people's business.
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,061 You'll be glad I did.
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,813 I got a hedgehog can pull your cart
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,231 faster than anybody.
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,440 We've been to all the territories
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,566 and a few others.
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,360 Save it, I know your type.
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,113 I don't do business with people I don't trust.
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:39,949 [Jerry and Terry laughing]
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,867 Ah, this is exactly what I needed.
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,369 Well, my pudding is done.
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,038 I must return to my alien spaceship and kill myself.
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,373 Or you could come to my place
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,874 and play a board game I invented.
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,001 It's like <i>Cranium</i> meets <i>Trivial Pursuit</i>
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,795 with the internet-lol-bacon-humor
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,213 of <i>Cards Against Humanity</i>
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,591 and a splash of TikTok's physical challenges.
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,136 You had me at a splash of TikTok's physical challenges,
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,345 which was at the end of your pitch,
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:02,805 but that did lock me in.
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640 Ooh, but I can only play for a little bit though,
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,725 my family's dead.
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:12,022 Terry, you just completed a record-breaking 200 levels.
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,942 But this final roll determines everything.
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,819 - [Terry blowing] - [dice clicking]
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,907 Your trivia category choices are pop culture listicles,
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,618 discontinued snack foods, or dog sounds.
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,246 Hey, no shame in going for the easiest one, gimme the listicles.
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,165 What are the top 10 deaths
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,041 in the <i>Final Destination</i> franchise
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,085 that make you say, "Da fuq?"
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,712 Fifteen seconds, go!
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,422 Cut in half by a cherry picker,
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,466 cut in half by barbed wire, cooked in a tanning bed,
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,134 crushed by a pane of glass, crushed by weights,
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,511 impaled by a ladder, guts sucked out by a swimming pool drain,
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,764 beheaded by shrapnel, ironically hit by an ambulance
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,223 - and the log truck. - [Jerry] Whoa!
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,350 You just unlocked the throne room!
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,478 No one's ever gotten this far!
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,063 [♪ upbeat music]
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,899 Your whole house is the game?
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,609 Jerry, you are the king!
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,322 - Ugh, stinky. - [JK Sevens beeping]
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,241 [spray hissing]
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:05,534 [sniffs]
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:12,249 ♪
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,043 - [gasps] - Whoa!
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,546 - I've never seen it so clean. - I worked all night.
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,924 Even fixed the bar top you built from an old Wahoo's coaster.
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,134 Look, Uncle, the wobble's gone.
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,636 I wanted to show you that I'm a man
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,179 you can trust to get things done.
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,181 So to get me to trust you,
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,642 you broke into my bar and touched all my stuff?
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,520 Well, I, uh, I can see now how that was misguided.
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,104 But, unless I'm mistaken,
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,732 you still haven't found anyone to pull your cart.
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,192 Why do you want this job so bad?
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,320 I wanna help your cause, hungry people, right?
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,696 I love to help the starving.
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,198 Nope, you're nothing but a bullshitter.
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,324 You aren't welcome here.
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,368 Get out and don't come back!
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,746 - That was harsh. - I know people, Sofia.
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,748 You can never trust a man like that.
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,917 [Terry] Hello, Marcia Gay Harden?
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,085 You don't know me, but I'm playing an
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,795 incredibly detailed homebrew board game,
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,005 and I need you to agree to be my dream date to win.
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,299 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,385 Okay, thanks. She said she'd take out a
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,678 restraining order if we called again.
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,971 [alarms blaring]
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,889 - Wait, did I win? - Yes.
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,225 It's 50 points if Marcia picks up at all.
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,269 Oh, yay, hey, good game to everyone.
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,603 No, it wasn't for me!
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,272 We need a rematch. Now!
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,190 Oof, would love to, but I can't.
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,441 My husband and replicants are stuck
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,026 in a Live Die Repeat machine.
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,945 I gotta hit a button that'll send us back to House Deeps.
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,948 So when you repeat today, it'll be like we never met,
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,158 and all my game levels we play tested
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,577 will be unfinished again?
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078 Weird part of my story to focus on.
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,997 - But yeah, I guess. - Unacceptable!
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,749 You're staying here and playing my game until it's perfect!
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,043 Take your games and shove them up your Milton Bradley!
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,421 Only way I'm staying here is if you chain me to the wall.
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,589 - [chain clinks] - Ah!
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,007 Dammit, I forgot I got chained
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,800 when I missed three 2 Chainz questions.
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,635 Unlock me, I gotta kill myself.
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,221 Your roll!
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,890 [♪ dramatic music]
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,896 I need four gutter beers, one Yardarita, five mudslides--
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,899 [slurring] Gimme a shot of that barrel-aged paint thinner.
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,483 Needs another month for the turpentine
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,735 to absorb the flavor of the plastic.
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,819 - Gimme! - [Oscar grunts]
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,154 [drunk yells]
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,531 Not in here, buddy. You take it outside.
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,117 - Hey, that hurts. - [chuckles]
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,702 Maybe you're wrong about him.
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,496 Ah! [screams]
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,248 I know you said stay away,
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,083 but looked like you could use some help.
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,127 - Hope that's okay. - Thanks.
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,754 [man] Hey, shitbird!
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,465 McManus, how'd you find me?
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,593 Oh, hey, what's up man? These guys paid me.
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,054 Also, you were kind of a dick, so treat your fans better.
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,347 Dude, what the hell?
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307 We need to talk.
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,975 What are you doing here, McManus?
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478 You owe me 10,000 yard bucks.
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,396 - Where is it? - Talk to your boss.
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,190 I got another day to pay.
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,608 Oh, that's right, you do.
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,736 I'm just here to remind you what happens if you don't.
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,947 [Gavin grunting]
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,658 - [kicks thudding] - [Gavin grunting]
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:56,163 What was the sitcom starring Candice Bergen that--
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,665 - I don't know, <i>Quantico?</i> - Wrong!
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,376 You've given that same answer the last 10 times.
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,920 Oh, no, shit, I lose.
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,297 Dammit, I'm so pissed about losing.
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,757 - Can I go home now? - No.
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,592 You still need to fall down another chute
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,260 into a massage chair I rigged
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,681 to shock you if you get a question wrong about Taylor Swift.
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,641 Oh God, I would do anything to be back
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,309 with my family at House Depot right now
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,936 instead of answering TayTay triv.
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,688 I want this to be fun again.
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,940 Would it help if I got us some pudding?
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,901 I don't know, maybe. If it was room temp.
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,779 Ooh, I'll run to the store, and then down the chute you go!
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,323 - [door closes] - Okay, I bought some time to escape.
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,700 And if I can't do that, at least there'll be pudding.
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,243 Either way, I'm talking to myself.
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,203 [gasps] I bet I can use that dream date phone
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,663 to call non-dreamy dates.
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:41,542 ♪
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,545 Can't call the cops or they'll arrest me.
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,755 I've got a warrant for selling pornographic <i>Hearthstone</i> cards.
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,966 Ugh, damn this grade-70 cable chain!
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,468 Ugh, why do I know that boring information?
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,012 Oh, my God, it's hardware.
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,930 Chains is just hardware.
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,307 - [phone beeping] - [phone ringing]
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,185 - This is Theo. - [Terry] <i>Theo, this is Terry.</i>
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,187 <i>I'm the alien friend of that other weird alien, Korvo,</i>
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,314 <i>who called you Daddy this morning. That was today, right?</i>
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,816 Yeah, man, that was weird.
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,776 I know you only help people who take home repairs seriously,
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,111 which I do not,
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,612 but you're a man with core values,
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,072 so I'm begging you to make an exception.
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,699 Is this a hardware emergency?
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,534 [Terry] <i>Oh, that sounds so stupid, but yes, it is.</i>
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,619 If someone who hates hardware is calling me up
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,663 asking for help, it must be dire.
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,124 I cannot turn my back on a home repair in need.
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,459 Tell me what you're seeing.
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,419 I-I'm cable chained to a wall. There are screws.
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,254 Otherwise, it's a standard board game trap house.
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,839 [Theo] <i>Do you have any tools?</i>
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133 Let's see, the <i>Monopoly</i> thimble, a pudding spoon,
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,761 half a deck of <i>Uno</i> cards, and 400 <i>Warhammer</i> figurines.
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,012 [Theo] <i>We can work with that.</i>
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,430 <i>Alright, I'll talk you through this</i>
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:39,224 <i>step-by-step, but do exactly as I say.</i>
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,060 Thank you. Oh, you're a good man, Theo.
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,269 How can I ever repay you?
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,021 Sign up for the House Depot credit card.
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,981 [Terry] <i>That's it? Oh, bro. If I get outta here,</i>
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,733 <i>I will absolutely do that.</i>
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,611 Yes! Let's get you unchained.
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,948 Thanks, I guess now you know the truth about me.
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,158 And what's that?
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,993 That I don't give a shit about your cause.
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,870 I'm just some idiot who made bad bets
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,081 and I need yard bucks to save my ass.
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,792 10,000 yard bucks to be exact.
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,001 You still want the job?
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,419 Yeah, wait, really?
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,587 - You trust me now? - No.
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,214 But you're finally being honest with me.
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,673 And if I can't get a hero,
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,425 then I need someone who's motivated.
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,843 Thank you, I promise
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,595 I'll get your cart across the yard.
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,763 Oh, I know you will
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,723 or the McManus guy is gonna kill you.
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,517 Here, that's 3,000.
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,810 You'll get the rest when you deliver
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,478 to the spot marked on this map.
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,605 I suggest you leave at dawn.
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:30,400 Terry, come out to play!
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,528 - What the hell? - Oh, God!
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,279 [♪ dramatic music]
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,866 [Jerry and Terry grunting]
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,998 [punch thuds]
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,208 [Jerry grunts]
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:48,836 [glass shatters]
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,339 Mouse trap, bitch!
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,175 [sobbing] No, please stay.
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,261 Why go to House Depot?
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,387 You hate it there.
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,513 Because when you're married,
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,098 sometimes you gotta do the most boring,
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,559 terrible things to support the dead alien you love.
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,102 It's part of the vow, bro.
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,104 Your husband sounds like an asshole.
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,689 You should be married to me.
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,232 Who was the Taylor Swift song
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,234 <i>We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together</i> about?
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,569 John Mayer?
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,653 Oh, my dear boy.
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,363 - Gyllenhaal. - [buzzer sounds]
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:19,032 - [electricity zapping] - [Jerry screaming]
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,285 [AISHA] <i>Boy, where the hell you been?</i>
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,328 A guy I met at a pudding shop trapped me in his board game.
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,664 - [AISHA] <i>Again?</i> - I know, it's my Achilles heel.
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,166 I love a good, old puddin' trap.
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,418 - [button beeps] - [Terry grunts]
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,505 House Depot, I'm so happy to see you!
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,884 The feels, the smells, the boring bolts, ah!
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,844 This is a huge attitude flip for you, Terry.
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,262 Did you do a whole story
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,139 while the rest of us were in chronological limbo?
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,224 No, nope, no, I-I pushed the button
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,601 and died right when you did.
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,312 Why do I get so nervous around Theo?
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,438 I never know what to say.
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,773 I know exactly what to say.
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:52,983 [Terry whispering]
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,485 Mr. Korvo, how's that pizza oven coming?
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,696 - Hey, Daddy. - What did you just call me?
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,656 I said, hey, Daddy...
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,160 can I sign up for the House Depot credit card?
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,412 Of course! When you're an HD card holder,
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,372 you can call me anything you want.
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,707 So tell me, Daddy,
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,751 what kind of bricks should I buy with my new credit card?
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,753 [Theo] I would go first-class burnt clay.
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,338 [Korvo] Huh, you don't think that's overkill?
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,464 [doorbell rings]
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,716 You don't know me, Jerry,
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092 but I know that your whole house
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,802 is one kick-ass board game.
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,763 So every time my partner's at House Depot,
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,890 I'm gonna bring pudding over and we'll play.
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,934 I'll even let you win so you don't kidnap me.
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,394 - How's that sound? - You look so familiar,
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729 like from a dream.
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,273 Nah, I was on season 16 of <i>Bad Girls Club.</i>
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,399 Now eat your pudding.
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,653 You know, I was thinking, for better flow,
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,905 we could add a two-top table over in the corner.
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,992 [♪ suspenseful music]
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,495 Oh, shit, Sofia. Hide. Now.
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,871 Find a place to hide.
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:48,956 Don't come out till morning
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,332 no matter what you hear.
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,792 - Promise me. - I'm scared.
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,126 I love you.
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,878 [♪ suspenseful music continues]
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,716 We're closed.
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,301 Where is it?
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,095 I'm not scared of you.
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,222 - Then you're of no use to me. - No, no, no, wait!
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,848 - [blood splattering] - [gasps]
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,726 [♪ dramatic music]
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,646 - It's gotta be in here somewhere. - [objects clattering]
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,398 Where is it?
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,317 [♪ dramatic music]
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:22,114 [furniture crashing]
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,367 [♪ dramatic music continues]
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,580 Goddammit. Hyah!
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:34,626 [♪ dramatic music continues]
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:44,720 Alright, Hedgey.
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,305 One last job, and then life will get
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,723 a whole lot simpler.
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,642 [dramatic music continues]
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,728 ♪
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:02,779 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,654 [mimicking laser fire]

Скриншоты

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