Устройство „Живи-умри снова“

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Шесть...

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- Семь!

- Семь...

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- Восемь!

- Восемь...

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Терри! Всё, я готов.

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Чёрт, Корво, не дал потренироваться в... отрыжке!

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А ты секси!

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Дуй в машину, пора в «Товары для дома».

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Фу! Ну и зачем нам туда переться?

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Там всё для постройки печи

для пиццы на заднем дворе.

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Наконец-то мы забацаем пиццу!

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Забацаем пиццу!

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Вчера я предоставил свои чертежи

себе на рассмотрение и этим утром дал добро.

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Супер! А то как ни идея, ты ни в какую!

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Да, я даю редко. В смысле, добро.

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Ну всё, пора за материалами для постройки.

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Репликанты, всей семьёй за хозтоварами!

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А, кстати, может, заедем в «Холодно-богато»?

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Это первосортно-второсортная

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лавка-однодневка пудинга-мороженого.

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Нет, это гадость. Бог мне свидетель.

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Живо спускайтесь, пора в «Товары для дома»!

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Сейчас!

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А тебе не кажется, что стенян стало поменьше?

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Не могли же они толпой куда-то уйти?

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Да ну. Наверно, прячутся

под декоративными камнями, как ящерицы.

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Хватит меня игнорить!

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Чёрт, я же сказал, сейчас!

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Планета Шлорп была просто идеальной,

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пока на неё не грохнулся астероид.

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Сотне взрослых особей и их репликантам

выдали по пупе и отправили в космос,

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на поиски необитаемого мира, нашего нового дома.

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Мы рухнули на Землю,

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планету, кишащую людьми.

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Да-да, это мой голос.

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Я держу Пупу, меня зовут Корво. Это мой сериал.

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Я уронил Пупу, видите?

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Как же нелепо. Ненавижу Землю!

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Отстойная планета.

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Люди тупые и странные.

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Гремлинов тут после полуночи не покормить.

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А вот на Шлорпе ночью гремлины отрывались

по полной, ели, танцевали и возбуждались!

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СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ

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ТОВАРЫ ДЛЯ ДОМА

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Нет! Прочь, это моё место!

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- Офигеть!

- Ух ты!

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Да! Чуете запах опилок?

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Все эти мастера спешат мастерить дальше.

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Что за дела? Это не магазин, а склад!

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Что, удобных полок не хватает?

За этим в супермаркет. Тут мир строителей.

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Тут есть банановая «Фанта»!

Всю «Фанту» пробовала, кроме этой!

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Глядите, какие вместительные стиралки!

Вот бы мне дали в такой поспать!

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О, распродажа шлангов!

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- Гляди! И зелёные есть!

- Пойдём, а?

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От всякой тягомотины у меня мурашки под кожей.

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А вот и он. Тео.

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Что за Тео?

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Рукастый мужик. Я обсуждал

с ним проект печи для пиццы.

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Весьма компетентен плюс терпелив

со мной, хоть я и засыпаю его вопросами.

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Ты запал на мужика

в светоотражающем жилете? Я правильно понял?

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Нет. Я уважаю Тео. Побаиваюсь

и хочу услышать от него «Молодцом!»,

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а в отчаянных мечтах

мы обсуждаем цены на пиломатериал.

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Ну, я рад, что теперь тебе есть с кем поговорить

о хозтоварах, ведь я в этом точно не помощник.

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Слава богу, наш брак допускает

платоническую дружбу.

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Мистер Корво, как там ваша печь для пиццы?

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Пока выбираем кирпичи для фундамента, Тео.

Не сориентируешь ещё раз по вариантам?

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Ну, есть огнеупорные, есть

из обожжённой глины, есть необожжённые...

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Скукота!

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Книгу читать и то веселее было.

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Тео, не покажешь, где кирпичи?

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Соскучился по тяжести кирпича в руке.

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Слова настоящего мастера. Идём.

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Веди меня, папочка.

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Ты что, назвал продавца хозтоваров папочкой?

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Это, знаете... я тут вспомнил, меня покупатель ждёт,

ему надо помочь сделать... ну, дверь.

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Тео, брось, ну оговорился я, бывает.

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Представь, что ты не слышал!

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Увы, но с теми, для кого наше дело — шуточки,

я не работаю.

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Какие шуточки!

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Я хочу смастерить печь

для пиццы, всего на пару раз!

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На YouTube есть годные обучающие ролики.

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Так держать, Корво!

Хоть три секунды тут было над чем поржать!

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Чёрт, что со мной не так?

С чего я назвал Тео папочкой?

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Это ведь не мой тема, а твоя!

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Корво сел в лужу, всё по классике.

Видели бы вы. Херня, как в первом сезоне.

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Не до этого было.

Мне не досталось банановой «Фанты»,

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потому что какой-то заказчик всё скупил

для монтажников кондиционеров.

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Пили бы себе пиво, так нет же!

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А я на удивление неплохо подремал

в мини-погрузчике.

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Но потом бездетная пара,

обоим лет за 40, меня оттуда выкинула.

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Надеюсь, тягомотины на этом складе всем хватило,

ведь теперь нас там никто не ждёт.

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Тео помогал мне с печью для пиццы с самого начала!

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Как я теперь без него?

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Корво, родной мой, с ним всё.

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Рано сдаваться. Прогоню этот диалог повторно,

и если повезёт...

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О нет. Опять научно-фантастическая приблуда?

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Не валяй дурака,

тебе такие мои штучки всегда нравились.

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Узрите: отладчик дня «Живи. Умри. И снова»!

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Вот чёрт, нам опять ждать иска?

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Я, когда исполнял танец Карлтона

не в шоу «Сегодня», не знал, что он под копирайтом!

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Создатель отладчика вдохновлялся

фильмом «Грань будущего»

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и его слоганом «Живи. Умри. И снова»,

который звучит куда круче названия.

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Десять лет назад это был мой любимый фильм!

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Как он работает?

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Все по очереди жмут на свой сектор и умирают.

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После этого активируются хронотоны,

и все проживают день заново.

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Чёрт, Аиша, это слишком сложно.

Я сказал тебе сделать, как в фильме!

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А я ответила, что юристы Warner Bros. засудят

любого, отсюда и слово «вдохновлялся».

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Так мы начинаем?

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Постой, ты сказала, мы умрём?

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Включай!

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Блин, вот это жесть.

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Он к жизни-то, надеюсь, вернётся?

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Для работы отладчика нужно участие всех.

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Сука, ненавижу «Товары для дома»!

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ТЕМ ЖЕ УТРОМ

СНОВА...

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Я вновь занимаю место.

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Знаю, устрою ДТП, но мне плевать.

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Даже хуже, чем мне запомнилось!

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А вон и та пара! Прогоню их метлой,

чтобы не помешали вздремнуть.

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Ну всё, банановая «Фанта», ты моя!

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Не парься, было бы из-за чего.

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Ты сверхразумный пришелец,

а он всего лишь впаривает стульчаки подороже.

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Ты прав. Я справлюсь.

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Мистер Корво, как там ваша печь для пиццы?

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Неплохо, папочка... Чёрт!

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Не знаю, с чего я опять назвал Тео папочкой.

Но сегодня мы выяснять это не будем.

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Я буду раз за разом жить и умирать,

пока не отлажу диалог о кирпичах.

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А можно без меня? Голова от цитронеллы заболела.

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Без Терри ничего не получится.

Для работы хронотонов нужно участие всех.

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Почему?

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Ты забыл, что я и без того

за кучей потоков времени слежу?

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Скажи спасибо, дятел, что вообще согласилась!

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Голосуем. Кто хочет вернуться в «Товары для дома»?

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Блин! Ладно!

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Спасибо, Терри, что всегда уважаешь

мнение большинства.

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Это первое моё главное достоинство.

Второе — не использовать эмодзи смеха и плача.

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Почему у нас нет пастилок с аспирином?

Знаете же, ненавижу глотать!

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Твоя очередь умирать, Терри. Давай садись уже.

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Да-да. Нам надо в «Товары для дома»,

а я всех задерживаю.

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Так-так, минуту.

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Терри?

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Ему больно?

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Нет. До твоей смерти они пребывают

в состоянии хроностаза.

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Так разве это плохо?

Там можно находиться бесконечно!

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Их хронотоны застыли. Они ничего не осознаЮт.

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Супер. Тогда я отлучусь на десять минут,

а потом умру и повторим. Я быстро.

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Терри, живо вернись

в этот научно-фантастический «Саймон» и убей себя!

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Терри!

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Да, быстро время пролетело!

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Ладно, отдохнул и хватит.

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Уф. Что-то я взмок. Приму сперва душ.

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«СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ»

ПРЕДСТАВЛЯЕТ

00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,170

«СТЕНА»

00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,630

«ЗАДНИЙ ДВОР»

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ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В СТОЧНОВИЛЛЬ

ПЕРВЫЙ ПРИВАЛ ВО ДВОРЕ

00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,430

МИНИ-ПОРТНЫЕ

00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,010

МАГАЗИН

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ПОНЧИКИ

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САЛУН ОСКАРА «СКВОРЕЧНИК»

00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,010

Доброе утро! Что за ранние пташки?

00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:52,180

Да так, какие-то проезжие по пути в Баскетболбург.

00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:56,120

А помнишь, когда Ямюляк оставил

во дворе баскетбольный мяч, что я сказал?

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«Кто-нибудь всё из него вытащит

и поселится внутри».

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Ты был прав, дядя. Как всегда.

00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,420

Вот подлиза, София! Хочешь о чём-то попросить?

00:08:04,430 --> 00:08:07,770

Ну, все мои друзья пошли налить

«Пепси» из той банки, и я надеялась...

00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:11,320

Не сегодня. Мне надо кое-куда по делу,

так что ты остаёшься за главную.

00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:13,870

Но ты меня никогда не отпускаешь!

00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,430

А газировка ещё свежая! А потом она выдохнется!

00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,730

София, банка слишком далеко!

00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:23,290

Ладно бы ещё у дома,

рядом с жёлобом. Это слишком опасно!

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Пойми, я за тебя отвечаю.

Это ведь из-за меня тебя уменьшили.

00:08:27,030 --> 00:08:29,340

Не кори себя так, дядя Оскар.

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Не шикни я на Ямюляка,

когда он позвонил в зале на сеансе «Луки»,

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ты бы уже была на втором курсе в Брауновском.

00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:37,220

Я тут подумала...

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Может, Терри ещё бросит другую банку, поближе.

00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:42,020

Конечно, бросит, золотко.

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Класс! Отличный мини-сериал после душа.

00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,580

Сперва думаешь, братья не объединятся, но потом...

00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,080

Но из-за чего был весь сыр-бор?

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Из-за Швиммера!

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Ну что ж. Я отдохнул,

расслабился, отмазки кончились.

00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,100

Пора стиснуть зубы и вернуться

на этот склад... перекушу только.

00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:00,710

Терри!

00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:05,200

Корво не разрешал мне есть пудинг-мороженое.

Пока он в хроностазе — самое время!

00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:05,500

«ХОЛОДНО-БОГАТО»

00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:10,070

Есть порция со вкусом маршмеллоу

и посыпкой из специй, в бонусном размере, для...

00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:10,960

Для меня!

00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:12,990

Это для Джерри!

00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,900

Я даже имя не успела сказать!

00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,930

Вот порция для Терри.

00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:21,310

Мы заказали точь-в-точь одно и то же!

Первый раз такое! У тебя отличный вкус!

00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,080

Спасибо, надо будет попробовать!

00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:26,690

Кстати, классная надпись. Это ирония?

00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,690

А? Нет, никакой иронии.

00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,400

Тоже подумывал о чём-то таком, но у тебя лучше.

00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:34,410

У тебя тоже классно: Helvetica шрифтом Courier.

00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:37,610

Чего только с открытыми шрифтами не вытворяют!

00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,650

Глаз-алмаз. Слушай, я брежу, или мы на одной волне?

00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:42,430

А ведь правда. Так и есть!

00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,250

Ко мне хочешь? У меня тут отличный вид на дорогу.

00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:47,490

Супер! Легковушки и грузовики!

00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:58,990

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В СТОЧНОВИЛЛЬ

ПЕРВЫЙ ПРИВАЛ ВО ДВОРЕ

00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,220

Стой, Дикки.

00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:04,020

Тише, мальчик, тише.

00:10:06,650 --> 00:10:08,290

Слушайте! А вы не Гэвин?

00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,000

Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт!

00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:13,190

Ну точно. Я этого ежа везде узнаю.

00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,760

Увы, нет. Ты меня спутал

с каким-то другим брутальным наездником ежа.

00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:18,570

Нет-нет-нет, это вряд ли.

00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,700

Да закройся уже, я стараюсь не отсвечивать!

00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,560

Не видел, я шляпу на глаза натянул?

00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,240

Извините, просто я ваш фанат.

00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,370

Я слышал, вы прошли Sandbox Run за сутки.

00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,210

Чёрт. Меня что, тут знают?

00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,460

Не-не-не. Не бойтесь.

00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:32,360

Редкий сточновиллец бывал дальше «Театра Пупы».

00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,460

Хорошо. Хорошо.

00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:35,840

Не знаешь, где можно оставить ежа на ночь?

00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:39,220

Прямо здесь! Бесплатно.

00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,670

Спасибо, сынок.

00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,220

А где тут можно выпить?

00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:48,710

Здравствуйте. Что вам налить?

00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,600

Добрую кружку чего подешевле.

00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:51,830

Дворбаксы принимаете?

00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,860

Я дам тебе комбинацию.

Внутри — повозка со съестным.

00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,920

И куда её доставить?

00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:58,570

Северо-западный угол, вот тут точно указано.

00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,860

Не, Оскар, это слишком далеко.

00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:03,410

Хватит с меня такого риска. У меня теперь подруга.

00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,740

Настоящая, не жёлудь с нарисованными сиськами.

00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:09,980

Но ты единственный, кому я тут могу доверять!

Пойми, людям грозит голод!

00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,670

Ну а кому сейчас во Дворе легко?

00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,150

Я заплачу тебе 10 000 дворбаксов!

00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,340

Дело не в деньгах.

00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:18,830

Сам знаешь, мне ради дела

ничего не жаль, но сейчас — увы.

00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:22,930

Надо перегнать повозку через Двор? Буду рад.

00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,890

Мистер, будете подслушивать

чужие разговоры — доиграетесь.

00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:30,230

Вы не пожалеете! У меня есть ёж.

Потащит так быстро, что никому не угнаться!

00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,560

Где мы с ним только не были!

00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:37,880

Ишь распелся. Видал я таких.

Я не веду дел с теми, кому не доверяю.

00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:43,570

Этого-то я и хотел. Ну, свою порцию я съел.

00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:46,030

Мне надо вернуться в звездолёт и убить себя.

00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,950

Ну или давай ко мне,

сыграем в одну настолку. Я её сам придумал!

00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,340

Это типа Cranium плюс Trivial Pursuit

плюс шуточки за триста из «Карт против всех»,

00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:57,790

ну и немного заданий

в духе Tik-Tok типа «Сделай то-то».

00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,250

Уговорил. Я как услышал

про задания типа что-то сделать,

00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,740

то заинтересовался, хоть это и в конце было.

00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:06,260

Вот только долго играть

не получится, мои родные умерли.

00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:12,230

Терри, ты только что побил рекорд — 200 уровней!

00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,270

Но всё решит финальный бросок кубиков.

00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:20,160

Выбирай категорию:

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топы на тему массовой культуры,

снятый с производства фастфуд,

00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:24,590

или собачьи звуки.

00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,510

Не, ну легкотню выбрать никто не запрещал,

давай топы.

00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:31,040

Назови топ-десять смертей

из франшизы «Пункт назначения»,

00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,080

от которых восклицаешь «Охренеть!».

00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,710

Пятнадцать секунд пошли!

00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:38,550

От стрелы автовышки,

от колючей проволоки, в солярии,

00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:42,720

под упавшим стеклом, на тренажёре, когда пробило

лестницей, когда слив в бассейне высосал кишки,

00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:46,320

под колёсами скорой, от шрапнели

в башку, ну и от брёвен с лесовоза.

00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:48,350

Вот это да! Ты открыл тронный зал!

00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,730

Так далеко ещё никто не проходил!

00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,900

У тебя что, весь дом — игра?

00:12:54,910 --> 00:12:57,140

Джерри, да ты король!

00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,960

Фу! Ну и вонь.

00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:10,560

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В СТОЧНОВИЛЛЬ

ПЕРВЫЙ ПРИВАЛ ВО ДВОРЕ

00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:12,220

САЛУН ОСКАРА «СКВОРЕЧНИК»

00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,100

Ого!

00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,650

Так чисто тут ещё не было!

00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:20,320

Я работал всю ночь. Даже стойку

из куска американских горок починил!

00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,130

Дядя, смотри, стала ровная!

00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:25,260

Я хотел, чтобы вы убедились —

мне можно доверить дело.

00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:29,770

И для этого ты припёрся

в мой бар и перехватал все мои вещи?

00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:32,610

Ну, да, теперь вижу, меня неправильно поняли.

00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:36,750

Но, если я не ошибаюсь,

ты так и не нашёл никого, кто бы перевёз припасы.

00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,340

Зачем тебе так это нужно?

00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:41,390

Хочу помочь благому делу, спасти людей от голода.

00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,690

Мне это всегда в радость.

00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,470

Хорош лапшу на уши вешать! Давай, уматывай отсюда.

00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,890

И чтоб я тебя здесь не видел!

00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:49,430

За что ты так с ним?

00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,020

Я знаю, кто есть кто, София.

Таким, как он, доверять нельзя.

00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:54,910

Алло, Марша Гей Харден?

00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,810

Ты меня не знаешь.

Я играю в сложнейшую домашнюю настолку,

00:13:57,820 --> 00:14:00,600

и для игры мне нужно твоё согласие на свидание.

00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:02,300

Ага... Ага.

00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:03,520

Ясно, понял.

00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,340

Ещё раз позвоним — оформит охранный ордер.

00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:07,040

ТЕРРИ — ПОБЕДИТЕЛЬ!

00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,170

Постой, я выиграл?

00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,110

Да! Марша сняла трубку, это уже 50 очков.

00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,270

Ура! Ура! Отлично все поиграли.

00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,370

Но только не я! Надо переиграть. Сейчас же!

00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,310

Я бы с радостью, но увы.

00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,940

Мой муж и репликанты застряли в отладчике дня.

00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:23,130

Для переноса на склад мне надо нажать кнопку.

00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:27,640

Погоди. Мы протестировали все уровни игры.

Вернёшься — выйдет, нашей встречи как бы и не было,

00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,640

и они вновь будут непройденными?

00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:32,100

Не хотел тебя огорчать, но думаю, да.

00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:35,810

Исключено! Пока не доведём игру

до совершенства, никуда не отпущу!

00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:41,160

Да пошёл ты! До фабрики настолок, им понравится!

Ты меня тут только цепями удержишь!

00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,800

Сука! Я забыл, меня же приковали

за пропуск трёх вопросов о цепях!

00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:47,170

Раскуй меня! Мне надо себя убить!

00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,720

Бросай кубики!

00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:57,070

Четыре сточных пива,

одну Двориту, пять Грязных Мэри...

00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,170

Налей-ка вон того растворителя из бочки.

00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,920

Скипидар наберёт аромат пластика

лишь через месяц!

00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:03,820

Наливай!

00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,740

Хорош, приятель. Иди, охладись.

00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:09,400

Э! Больно!

00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,960

Может, ты в нём ошибался?

00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,140

Да, ты сказал не появляться,

но я увидел, вам нужна помощь.

00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,390

Надеюсь, без обид.

00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:20,120

Спасибо.

00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,130

Эй, говножуй!

00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,800

Макманус! Как ты меня нашёл?

00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:30,240

Что с лицом, чел? Они мне заплатили.

А ты вёл себя, как мудак. Нельзя так с фанатами.

00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,490

Чего тебе, Макманус?

00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,410

Разговор есть.

00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:35,160

Что ты тут забыл, Макманус?

00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:37,470

Ты мне должен 10 000 дворбаксов.

00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:38,370

Где они?

00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:41,190

Поговори с боссом. У меня есть ещё сутки.

00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,600

Ну да, кто спорит?

00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:46,070

Я лишь пришёл напомнить, что будет, если не отдашь.

00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:56,160

В каком ситкоме с Кэндис Берген в главной роли...

00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,280

Не знаю. «Куантико»?

00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:57,680

Нет!

00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,430

Ты уже на десять последних вопросов так ответил!

00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:03,040

Чёрт! О ужас! Я проиграл!

00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,400

Сука, ненавижу проигрывать!

00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,400

Можно уже домой?

00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:06,870

Нет!

00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,970

Тебе ещё предстоит прыгнуть в этот жёлоб.

Внизу стоит массажное кресло. Я подвёл к нему ток.

00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:13,820

Ошибёшься в вопросе

о Тейлор Свифт — тебя ждёт разряд.

00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:17,520

О Господи. Всё бы отдал, чтобы вернуться

сейчас с семьёй в «Товары для дома»,

00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:18,920

а не отвечать на эти вопросы!

00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:20,750

Ну нет, так совсем не прикольно.

00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,020

Пудинг-мороженое настроение поднимет?

00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:25,900

Ну, даже не знаю. Если он комнатной температуры.

00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:29,440

Ну всё, сбегаю за ним, а потом ты прыгнешь в жёлоб!

00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:34,340

Так. Я выиграл время на побег. А не выйдет —

хоть пудинга поем! Так и так — я говорю с собой.

00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:38,340

О! По тому телефону всяко же можно

не только на свидание приглашать!

00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,540

Копам звонить нельзя, сцапают.

00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,360

Меня ищут за продажу порнокарт из Hearthstone.

00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:49,560

Сраная цепь из закалённой стали!

00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,610

И откуда я эту херню знаю?

00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:55,970

Божечки, это же хозтовар! Цепи — это хозтовары!

00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,490

ПРИСОЕДИНЯЙТЕСЬ!

СОЛНЕЧНАЯ ЭНЕРГИЯ!

00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,240

Это Тео.

00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,290

Тео, это Терри.

00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,470

Я друг странного пришельца Корво,

он тебя папочкой назвал. Это же сегодня было?

00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,730

Ну да. Было странно.

00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:09,200

Ты работаешь лишь с теми, для кого

ваше дело — не шутки. Для меня — нет.

00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:11,840

Но у тебя есть убеждения.

Умоляю, сделай исключение.

00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:13,700

ЧП по части хозтоваров?

00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,530

Понимаю, звучит тупо, но да, так и есть.

00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:19,680

Если кто-то вчера воротил от хозтоваров нос,

а теперь просит меня о помощи, ему явно туго.

00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,270

Я не могу бросить ремонт в беде.

00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,370

Опиши мне ситуацию.

00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:27,400

Я прикован цепью. Она привинчена к стене.

Самый обычный дом-настолка с ловушками.

00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:28,860

Инструменты у тебя есть?

00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:33,990

Так. Напёрсток из «Монополии», полколоды карт

из «Уно» и 400 фигурок из «Вархаммера».

00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,240

Это уже что-то. В общем, я объясню, что делать,

по шагам, но делай точно так, как я скажу.

00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:42,410

Спасибо! У тебя доброе сердце, Тео!

Как мне тебя отблагодарить?

00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:44,160

Оформить кредитку «Товаров для дома».

00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,230

И всё? Братишка!

00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,870

Выберусь отсюда — непременно оформлю!

00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,800

Да! Всё, давай тебя раскуём.

00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:55,220

Спасибо. Теперь тебе, наверное, всё со мной ясно.

00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:56,110

Что ясно?

00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,090

Что мне насрать на твоё благое дело.

00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:02,220

Я лишь проигравшийся идиот

в поисках дворбаксов для спасения своей шкуры.

00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:04,790

Десяти тысяч дворбаксов, если точнее.

00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,000

А работа-то ещё нужна?

00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:08,310

Да. Погоди, серьёзно? Теперь ты мне доверяешь?

00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,310

Нет. Но теперь ты со мной честен.

00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,530

И пусть ты и не герой,

у тебя есть мотивация. Такой мне нужен.

00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:16,590

Спасибо. Я перевезу твою повозку

через двор, обещаю.

00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,720

Ну ещё бы. Ведь иначе Макманус тебя убьёт.

00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:21,510

Вот. Здесь 3000.

00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,660

Остальное — когда доставишь повозку

в точку на этой карте.

00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,880

Советую выезжать на рассвете.

00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:30,400

Терри, выходи играть!

00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,610

Да ну нахер!

00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:32,520

О Господи!

00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:34,250

ТЕРРИ: 00

ДЖЕРРИ: 82

00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:52,850

Попался, урод!

00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,170

Нет! Прошу, останься!

00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:58,360

Зачем тебе эти «Товары для дома»?

Ты же их не выносишь!

00:18:58,390 --> 00:18:59,440

Затем, что, когда ты в браке,

00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:03,630

порой ради любимого мёртвого пришельца надо

быть готовым к самому скучному и неприятному.

00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,120

На то он и брак, бро.

00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:08,980

Твой муж — козёл какой-то.

Вот мы были бы пара что надо!

00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:12,510

Кому была посвящена песня

«Мы больше никогда не будем вместе»?

00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:13,570

Джону Майеру?

00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,000

Увы и ах.

00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,360

Джилленхолу.

00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,200

Явился! Ты где пропадал?

00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:23,470

Чел из пудинговой заставил играть в настолку.

00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,360

Опять?

00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:27,760

Да, это моё слабое место.

Обожаю попадаться на пудинг!

00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:36,880

«Товары для дома», как я рад вас видеть!

Атмосфера! Запахи! Унылые болты!

00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:39,050

Терри, я тебя просто не узнаю.

00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:42,220

Походу, пока мы были в хроностазе,

с тобой куча всего приключилась?

00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:45,940

Не. Нет. Нет, я нажал на кнопку

и умер одновременно со всеми.

00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:49,430

Откуда у меня мандраж перед Тео?

Вечно не знаю, что сказать.

00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,200

Я точно знаю, что сказать.

00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:55,570

Мистер Корво, как там ваша печь для пиццы?

00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:56,500

Привет, папочка.

00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:57,870

Как-как вы меня назвали?

00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,180

Я сказал: «Привет, папочка»!

00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:03,160

Могу я оформить кредитку «Товаров для дома»?

00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:07,390

Конечно! Обладатель нашей кредитки может

называть меня, как угодно.

00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:10,890

Итак, папочка, какие кирпичи

мне лучше купить по моей кредитке?

00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,980

Первоклассные из обожжённой глины.

00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,710

А может, хватит чего попроще?

00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,880

Ты меня не знаешь, Джерри, но я знаю,

что весь твой дом — одна убойная настолка.

00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:24,950

Когда мой партнёр будет ходить за хозтоварами,

я буду заходить к тебе с пудингом, поиграть.

00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,030

Даже дам выиграть, лишь бы не похищал.

00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:27,810

Как тебе?

00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:30,730

Где-то я тебя видел. Может, во сне?

00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:33,270

Нет, в 16-м сезоне «Плохих девчонок».

00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,640

А теперь ешь пудинг.

00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,710

САЛУН ОСКАРА «СКВОРЕЧНИК»

00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:40,520

А давай поставим в углу столик на двоих?

Привлечём больше посетителей.

00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:46,810

Вот чёрт! София! Прячься! Скорей!

00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:47,870

Спрячься куда-нибудь.

00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,080

И что бы ни услышала — не выходи до утра. Дай слово!

00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:52,060

Мне страшно!

00:20:52,070 --> 00:20:53,510

Я люблю тебя.

00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:00,050

Мы закрыты.

00:21:00,490 --> 00:21:01,490

Говори, где?

00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,090

Я тебя не боюсь.

00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,570

Тогда ты мне не нужен.

00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:05,590

Стой, нет!

00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,260

Наверняка же где-то здесь.

00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,880

Где же?

00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,580

Гадство... Пошёл!

00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:38,230

ПОНЧИКИ

00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,720

Ну всё, Ежуля.

00:21:44,730 --> 00:21:48,600

Последнее дело, и у нас будет куда меньше хлопот.

00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:53,600

Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,468

Six, seven...

- Seven,

00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,137

- [trainer] eight.

- ...eight.

00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,722

Terry, I'm finally ready.

00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,473

Damn it, Korvo,

you interrupted my last set

00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,517

of [burps] burpees.

00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,852

God, you're sexy.

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,603

Now get in the car,

we're going to House Depot.

00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,355

Ew, gross, what's

at House Depot?

00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,108

Everything we need to build

a brick pizza oven in the backyard.

00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,776

Finally, we can make-a da pizza!

00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,361

A make-a da pizza!

00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,488

I submitted my designs

to myself last night,

00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:33,199

and as of this morning,

I gave myself the green light.

00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,869

Alright, you almost never

get ideas past yourself.

00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,579

Yes, I'm a hard-to-please

little slut.

00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,789

Now, to buy the material

so we can begin construction.

00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,708

Replicants, family

hardware trip!

00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,377

Ooh, on the way, can we stop

at Puddin' on the Ritz?

00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,795

It's hands down the second-best

00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,131

room-temp pudding pop

pop-up shop in the region.

00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,133

No, that's disgusting,

I swear to God.

00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,260

Get your asses down here,

it's House Depot time!

00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,511

We're coming!

00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,847

Does it look like there's

fewer little peeps in the wall?

00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,432

You don't think a bunch

of them got out, do you?

00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,184

No way.

00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,435

They're probably just

hiding under

00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,145

ornamental rocks like lizards.

00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,354

Stop ignoring me!

00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,398

I said we're coming, goddammit!

00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,907

Planet Shlorp was

a perfect utopia,

00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,117

until the asteroid hit.

00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,079

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,830

and escaped into the... space,

00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,500

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,918

We crashed on Earth,

00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,836

stranding us on an already

overpopulated planet.

00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,797

{\an8}That's right, I've been talking

this whole time.

00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,048

{\an8}I'm the one holding the Pupa.

00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,758

{\an8}My name is Korvo.

This is my show.

00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,093

{\an8}Bollocks, I just dropped

the Pupa.

00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,053

{\an8}Ugh. This is ridiculous.

I hate Earth.

00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,137

{\an8}It's a horrible home.

00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,639

{\an8}People are stupid

and confusing.

00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,641

{\an8}You can't feed your gremlins

after midnight here.

00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,976

{\an8}On Shlorp, our gremlins had

a vibrant late-night scene

00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,354

{\an8}that included dancing,

food, and getting wet!

00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,028

Nope, that's

my spot, get away!

00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,698

Whoa.

Geez.

00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,827

{\an8}Aw, smell that? Sawdust.

00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,829

{\an8}Look at all these doers

getting more done.

00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,123

{\an8}What the hell? This isn't a store,

it's a warehouse!

00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,791

{\an8}You wanna be coddled by shelves?

00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,793

{\an8}Go to Ace. The Depot's

for builders.

00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,294

They have Banana Fanta!

00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,338

{\an8}It's the last Fanta flavor

I haven't tried.

00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,549

{\an8}Check out those roomy

washing machines.

00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,092

{\an8}Wonder if they'd let

me nap in one.

00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,802

{\an8}Oh, the hoses are on sale.

00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,554

{\an8}- Look, they have green ones!

- Can we go?

00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,681

{\an8}You know boring-ass bullshit

makes my skin crawl.

00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,182

There he is. Theo.

00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,476

Who's Theo?

00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,769

He's the DIY guy I've been

00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,271

{\an8}talking to about

Project Pizza Oven.

00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,606

{\an8}He's so knowledgeable

and patient with me,

00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,066

{\an8}even though I ask too

many questions.

00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,360

{\an8}Are you crushing on a guy

wearing a high-vis vest?

00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,904

- Is that what's happening here?

- No, I respect Theo.

00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,323

{\an8}I fear him, I want to hear him say

he's proud of me,

00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,534

{\an8}and in my wildest fantasy,

we discuss lumber prices.

00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,453

{\an8}Aw, I'm glad you found someone

who's gonna talk hardware with you,

00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,372

{\an8}'cause I am never gonna do that.

00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,749

{\an8}Thank God our marriage allows

for platonic friendships.

00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,544

{\an8}Ooh.

00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,921

{\an8}Mr. Korvo, how's that

pizza oven coming?

00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,840

{\an8}Just choosing bricks

for the foundation, Theo.

00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,967

{\an8}Could you run me through

the options again?

00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,303

{\an8}Well, there are fire bricks,

burnt clay bricks,

00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,554

{\an8}sun-dried clay bricks.

00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,222

{\an8}Ugh, so boring.

00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,183

{\an8}This is worse than that time

I tried to read a book.

00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,684

{\an8}Escort me to the brick

aisle, Theo.

00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,103

{\an8}I wanna feel burnt

clay in my hands.

00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,689

{\an8}Spoken like a true craftsman.

Follow me.

00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,774

{\an8}Lead the way, Daddy.

00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,777

{\an8}Ha, did you just call

the House Depot guy "Daddy"?

00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,946

{\an8}You know what?

I just remembered,

00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,116

{\an8}I have another customer

who needs my help building a-a door.

00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,243

Theo, come on, that was just

a slip of the tongue.

00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,536

We can bounce back

from this, right?

00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,413

Sorry, but I can only

deal with people

00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,915

who are serious about hardware.

00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,999

I am serious.

00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,375

I want to handcraft a pizza oven

00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,002

we only use a couple of times.

00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,671

Uh, YouTube has some

helpful tutorials.

00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,799

Congratulations, Korvo,

you somehow made House Depot fun

00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,009

for three seconds.

00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,385

What the hell is wrong with me?

00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,970

Why did I call Theo "Daddy"?

00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,764

That's not a me thing,

that's a you thing.

00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,474

It was a classic Korvo meltdown.

00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,517

You guys should've seen it.

Total season one shit.

00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,187

I was too busy not getting

Banana Fanta

00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,314

because a contractor

bought the last bottles

00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,607

for his HVAC guys.

00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,359

I thought they were supposed

to drink beer.

00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,568

And I was having

the nap of my life

00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,237

in a two-and-a-half-cubic-foot

front loader

00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,738

until a 40-something

childless couple

00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,073

opened the door

and tumbled me out.

00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,532

Well, I hope everyone

got their fill

00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:02,992

of boring-ass House Depot,

00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,494

because it's scorched earth now.

00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,912

Theo has been on this

pizza oven journey

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,163

with me from conception.

00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,706

I can't lose him now.

00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:11,251

Oh, Korvo, baby, he gone.

00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,919

I can fix this. I just

need another run

00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,754

at that interaction,

and luckily--

00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,673

Please don't say there's

a sci-fi way to do it.

00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:20,260

Oh, shut up, you big silly,

you love it when I go sci-fi.

00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,429

Behold the Live Die

Repeat Device.

00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,056

Oh, shit, are we gonna

get sued again?

00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,849

I didn't know the Carlton dance

was copyrighted

00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,768

when I did it outside the window

of The Today Show.

00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,395

This device was only inspired

00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,813

by the film Live Die Repeat,

00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,357

which was initially known as

Edge of Tomorrow,

00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,817

even though that

title sucks ass.

00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,403

It was legit my favorite movie

from 10 summers ago.

00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,904

How does it work?

When it's your turn,

00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,364

you press your wedge and die.

00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,241

Then the chronotones

are activated

00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,285

and you repeat the day

you just lived.

00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,161

Dammit, AISHA,

that's so complicated.

00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,705

I told you to make it

like in the movie.

00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,708

And I told you,

WB's litigious as hell,

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,084

hence the inspired by.

00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,544

- We doing this or not?

- I'm sorry,

00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,170

- did you just say we die?

- Activate!

00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,387

Yeesh, that's pretty grim.

00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,347

Isn't he supposed to

come back to life?

00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,433

It only works when

you all do it.

00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,897

Ugh, I freaking hate

House Depot!

00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,657

I'm taking the spot again.

00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,909

I know it causes an accident,

but I don't care.

00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,330

Ugh, it's worse than I remember.

00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,415

There's that couple. I'm gonna chase them

away with this broom

00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,875

so they don't interrupt

my nap later.

00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,960

Come to mama, 'nana Fanta.

00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,671

Hey, there's nothing

to be nervous about.

00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,423

You're a hyper-intelligent

alien being,

00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,425

and he's a guy who upsells

toilet seats.

00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,676

You're right, I got this.

00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,220

Mr. Korvo, how's that

pizza oven coming?

00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,473

Going good, Daddy-- Fuck!

00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,391

I don't why I keep calling

Theo "Daddy."

00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,185

But we're not gonna get

to the bottom of that today.

00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,603

I just have to keep live, die,

00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,730

repeating until I get

this brick interaction right.

00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,358

I'm gonna sit this one out.

I've got a citronella headache.

00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,193

If Terry doesn't do it,

none of y'all can.

00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,362

The chronotones only work

if you all do it.

00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,155

Why?

You know I'm too busy

00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,990

to keep track of multiple

time streams.

00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,658

You're lucky I let you

do it at all, bitch.

00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,994

Family vote, who wants

to go back to House Depot?

00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,288

Ugh, fine.

00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,665

Thank you, Terry, for always respecting

the outcome of votes.

00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,209

It's one of my two core values.

00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,753

Respect the vote and never use

the laughing/crying emoji.

00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,926

Why don't we have

any kids' chewable aspirin?

00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,219

You know I don't

like to swallow.

00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,428

Your turn to die, Terry.

00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,679

Get your ass in the seat.

00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,806

Okay, I better hurry up

00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,808

so I can go back to House Depot.

00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,601

Hold up, hold up.

Terry...

00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,186

Does it hurt?

No.

00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,896

They're frozen in a state

of chronological limbo

00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,981

- until you die.

- Well, limbo's comfy, right?

00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,650

People hang out there

forever sometimes.

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,068

Their chronotones are frozen.

00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,444

They aren't aware of anything.

00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,029

Great, I'm just gonna

take a quick 10,

00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,156

and then I'll die

and repeat, BRB.

00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,575

Terry, get your ass

back in that sci-fi SIMON

00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,868

and kill yourself!

00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:51,953

Terry!

00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,087

Damn, that went fast.

00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,672

Ugh, gotta get back

to the thing.

00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:06,050

Ooh, bit ripe,

better shower up first.

00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,010

Morning, who are

the early birds?

00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,595

Oh, just some fellas

passing through

00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,180

on their way to Basketballburgh.

00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,973

Do you remember

when Yumyulack first left

00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,183

that basketball out here?

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,267

What did I say?

00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,019

Somebody's gonna hollow

that thing out

00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,645

and start living in it.

00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,064

You were right, Uncle.

You always are.

00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,317

You're buttering me up.

What do you want, Sofia?

00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,818

Well, all my friends

are heading out

00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,778

to see the Pepsi can,

and I was hoping--

00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,906

Not today, I need you here

minding The Birdhouse

00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,407

while I conduct some business.

00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,784

But you never let

me go anywhere.

00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,786

And the soda's fresh now.

00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,288

If I wait, it'll lose its fizz.

00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,582

Sofia, that can is deeper

into the yard.

00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,792

It isn't like over here

by the house and the downspout.

00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,294

It's too dangerous!

00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,837

I have to keep you safe, dammit.

00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,923

I'm the reason you're

small to begin with.

00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,342

Uncle Oscar, you can't

blame yourself.

00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,801

If I hadn't shushed Yumyulack

00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,386

when he made a phone

call during Luca,

00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,972

you'd be in your sophomore year

at Brown right now.

00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,266

You know what?

00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,392

Maybe Terry will toss

another Pepsi

00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,727

a little closer to town.

00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,521

I'm sure he will, sweetie.

00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,526

Oh, man, great post-shower

miniseries.

00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,027

You think those brothers

aren't gonna band,

00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,654

but then...

00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,947

Wonder what that war was about?

00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,823

Schwimmer!

00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:56,410

Ah, well, I'm rested,

relaxed, and out of excuses.

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,538

Time to just suck it up and get back

to House Depot...

00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,665

- right after a snack.

- Terry.

00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,208

Korvo wouldn't let me

have pudding earlier.

00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,709

It makes total sense

for me to get some now

00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,169

while he's in limbzees.

00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,129

{\an8}I got one marshmallow pudding

00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,422

{\an8}with cool ranch sprinkles

00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:09,966

{\an8}and a side of extra thick pudding

skin for--

00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,050

That'd be me.

That'd be me.

00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,927

{\an8}Ugh, it's for Jerry.

00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,804

{\an8}Please, let me finish

saying the names.

00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,931

{\an8}This one's for Terry.

00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,767

I've never met someone

with my exact same pudding order.

00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,310

You've got great taste.

00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,687

Well, it doesn't hurt

that it tastes great.

00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,691

BT dubs, love your shirt.

Is it ironic?

00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,693

This? No, it's sincere.

00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,236

I've been working on something

in the same area,

00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,445

but this is better.

00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,323

Well, I adore

your Helvetica in Courier shirt.

00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:37,618

It's amazing what you can do

with a public domain font.

00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,496

Good eye. Hey, am I crazy

or do we have a rapport?

00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,331

You know what? I think we do.

00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:45,251

Wanna join me? My booth has

a great view of the highway.

00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,961

Alright, cars and trucks!

00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,226

Whoa, Hedgey.

00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,020

Easy, boy, easy.

00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,232

Hey, hey, aren't you Gavin?

00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,984

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,195

You are.

I'd know that hedgehog anywhere.

00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,530

Sorry, you got me confused

00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,282

for some other ruggedly handsome

hedgehog man.

00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,576

Nah, nah, nah, I don't think so.

00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,703

Dude, shut up, I'm trying

to keep a low profile!

00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,288

Didn't you see me

pull my hat down?

00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,248

Sorry, I'm just a fan.

00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,375

I heard you did

the Sandbox Run in under a day.

00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,127

Oh, shit, am I known

around here?

00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,420

Nah, nah, you're good.

00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,630

Most Gutterville folks

haven't even

00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,089

been past Pupa's playhouse.

00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,466

Good, good.

00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,843

You know anywhere I can post

my hog for the night?

00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,221

Right here, free of charge.

00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,348

Thanks, kid.

00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,224

Where do I get a drink?

00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,606

Hey, what can I get you?

00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,608

Tall glass of whatever's

cheapest.

00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,692

You take yard bucks?

00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,027

I'll give you the combination.

00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,737

Inside is a cart full of food.

00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,906

- Where do you need it to go?

- The northwest corner

00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,574

at this exact location.

00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,868

Ah, shit, Oscar, it's too far.

00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,412

I can't be taking risks like that anymore.

Got a girlfriend now.

00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,748

A real-life girlfriend,

not that acorn I drew boobs on.

00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,042

But you're the only one

I can trust to get it there.

00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,835

If not, people will starve.

00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,671

Look, the yard's tough

for everybody now.

00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,006

I'll pay you 10,000 yard bucks.

00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,341

It's not about the money.

00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,134

You know I would do

anything for the cause,

00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,427

but not this time.

00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,932

Oh, oh, if you're looking to get a cart

across the yard, I'm your guy.

00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,308

Mister, you can get

in big trouble

00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,893

listening to other

people's business.

00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,061

You'll be glad I did.

00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,813

I got a hedgehog

can pull your cart

00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,231

faster than anybody.

00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,440

We've been to all

the territories

00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,566

and a few others.

00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,360

Save it, I know your type.

00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,113

I don't do business

with people I don't trust.

00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,867

Ah, this is exactly

what I needed.

00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,369

Well, my pudding is done.

00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,038

I must return to my

alien spaceship and kill myself.

00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,373

Or you could come to my place

00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,874

and play a board

game I invented.

00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,001

It's like Cranium

meets Trivial Pursuit

00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,795

with the

internet-lol-bacon-humor

00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,213

of Cards Against Humanity

00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,591

and a splash of TikTok's

physical challenges.

00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,136

You had me at a splash

of TikTok's physical challenges,

00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,345

which was at the end

of your pitch,

00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:02,805

but that did lock me in.

00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640

Ooh, but I can only play

for a little bit though,

00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,725

my family's dead.

00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:12,022

Terry, you just completed

a record-breaking 200 levels.

00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,942

But this final roll determines

everything.

00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,907

Your trivia category choices

are pop culture listicles,

00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,618

discontinued snack foods,

or dog sounds.

00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,246

Hey, no shame in going for

the easiest one, gimme the listicles.

00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,165

What are the top 10 deaths

00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,041

in the Final Destination

franchise

00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,085

that make you say, "Da fuq?"

00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,712

Fifteen seconds, go!

00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,422

Cut in half by a cherry picker,

00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,466

cut in half by barbed wire,

cooked in a tanning bed,

00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,134

crushed by a pane of glass,

crushed by weights,

00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,511

impaled by a ladder, guts sucked out by a

swimming pool drain,

00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,764

beheaded by shrapnel,

ironically hit by an ambulance

00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,223

and the log truck.

Whoa!

00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,350

You just unlocked

the throne room!

00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,478

No one's ever gotten this far!

00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,899

Your whole house is the game?

00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,609

Jerry, you are the king!

00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,322

Ugh, stinky.

00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,043

Whoa!

00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,546

- I've never seen it so clean.

- I worked all night.

00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,924

Even fixed the bar top you built

from an old Wahoo's coaster.

00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,134

Look, Uncle, the wobble's gone.

00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,636

I wanted to show you

that I'm a man

00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,179

you can trust

to get things done.

00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,181

So to get me to trust you,

00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,642

you broke into my bar

and touched all my stuff?

00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,520

Well, I, uh, I can see now

how that was misguided.

00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,104

But, unless I'm mistaken,

00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,732

you still haven't found anyone

to pull your cart.

00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,192

Why do you want this job so bad?

00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,320

I wanna help your cause,

hungry people, right?

00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,696

I love to help the starving.

00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,198

Nope, you're nothing

but a bullshitter.

00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,324

You aren't welcome here.

00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,368

Get out and don't come back!

00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,746

- That was harsh.

- I know people, Sofia.

00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,748

You can never trust

a man like that.

00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,917

Hello, Marcia Gay Harden?

00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,085

You don't know me,

but I'm playing an

00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,795

incredibly detailed

homebrew board game,

00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,005

and I need you to agree

to be my dream date to win.

00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,299

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,385

Okay, thanks.

She said she'd take out a

00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,678

restraining order

if we called again.

00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,889

- Wait, did I win?

- Yes.

00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,225

It's 50 points if Marcia

picks up at all.

00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,269

Oh, yay, hey,

good game to everyone.

00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,603

No, it wasn't for me!

00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,272

We need a rematch. Now!

00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,190

Oof, would love to, but I can't.

00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,441

My husband and

replicants are stuck

00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,026

in a Live Die Repeat machine.

00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,945

I gotta hit a button that'll send us back

to House Deeps.

00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,948

So when you repeat today,

it'll be like we never met,

00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,158

and all my game levels

we play tested

00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,577

will be unfinished again?

00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078

Weird part of my story

to focus on.

00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,997

- But yeah, I guess.

- Unacceptable!

00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,749

You're staying here and playing

my game until it's perfect!

00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,043

Take your games and shove them

up your Milton Bradley!

00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,421

Only way I'm staying here

is if you chain me to the wall.

00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,589

Ah!

00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,007

Dammit, I forgot I got chained

00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,800

when I missed three

2 Chainz questions.

00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,635

Unlock me, I gotta kill myself.

00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,221

Your roll!

00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,896

I need four gutter beers,

one Yardarita, five mudslides--

00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,899

Gimme a shot of that

barrel-aged paint thinner.

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,483

Needs another month

for the turpentine

00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,735

to absorb the flavor

of the plastic.

00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,819

Gimme!

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,531

Not in here, buddy.

You take it outside.

00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,117

Hey, that hurts.

00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,702

Maybe you're wrong about him.

00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,496

Ah!

00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,248

I know you said stay away,

00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,083

but looked like you could

use some help.

00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,127

- Hope that's okay.

- Thanks.

00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,754

Hey, shitbird!

00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,465

McManus, how'd you find me?

00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,593

Oh, hey, what's up man?

These guys paid me.

00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,054

Also, you were kind of a dick,

so treat your fans better.

00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,347

Dude, what the hell?

00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307

We need to talk.

00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,975

What are you doing here,

McManus?

00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478

You owe me 10,000 yard bucks.

00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,396

- Where is it?

- Talk to your boss.

00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,190

I got another day to pay.

00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,608

Oh, that's right, you do.

00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,736

I'm just here to remind you

what happens if you don't.

00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:56,163

What was the sitcom

starring Candice Bergen that--

00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,665

- I don't know, Quantico?

- Wrong!

00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,376

You've given that same answer

the last 10 times.

00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,920

Oh, no, shit, I lose.

00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,297

Dammit, I'm so pissed

about losing.

00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,757

- Can I go home now?

- No.

00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,592

You still need to fall

down another chute

00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,260

into a massage chair I rigged

00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,681

to shock you if you get a question wrong

about Taylor Swift.

00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,641

Oh God, I would do anything

to be back

00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,309

with my family at House

Depot right now

00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,936

instead of answering

TayTay triv.

00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,688

I want this to be fun again.

00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,940

Would it help if I got

us some pudding?

00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,901

I don't know, maybe.

If it was room temp.

00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,779

Ooh, I'll run to the store,

and then down the chute you go!

00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,323

Okay, I bought some time to escape.

00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,700

And if I can't do that,

at least there'll be pudding.

00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,243

Either way, I'm talking

to myself.

00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,203

I bet I can use

that dream date phone

00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,663

to call non-dreamy dates.

00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,545

Can't call the cops or

they'll arrest me.

00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,755

I've got a warrant for selling

pornographic Hearthstone cards.

00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,966

Ugh, damn this grade-70

cable chain!

00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,468

Ugh, why do I know

that boring information?

00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,012

Oh, my God, it's hardware.

00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,930

Chains is just hardware.

00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,185

This is Theo.

Theo, this is Terry.

00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,187

I'm the alien friend of that

other weird alien, Korvo,

00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,314

who called you Daddy this morning.

That was today, right?

00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,816

Yeah, man, that was weird.

00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,776

I know you only help people

who take home repairs seriously,

00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,111

which I do not,

00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,612

but you're a man with

core values,

00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,072

so I'm begging you to

make an exception.

00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,699

Is this a hardware emergency?

00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,534

Oh, that sounds

so stupid, but yes, it is.

00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,619

If someone who hates hardware

is calling me up

00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,663

asking for help,

it must be dire.

00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,124

I cannot turn my back

on a home repair in need.

00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,459

Tell me what you're seeing.

00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,419

I-I'm cable chained to a wall.

There are screws.

00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,254

Otherwise, it's a standard

board game trap house.

00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,839

Do you have any tools?

00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133

Let's see, the Monopoly thimble,

a pudding spoon,

00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,761

half a deck of Uno cards,

and 400 Warhammer figurines.

00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,012

We can work with that.

00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,430

Alright, I'll talk you

through this

00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:39,224

step-by-step,

but do exactly as I say.

00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,060

Thank you.

Oh, you're a good man, Theo.

00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,269

How can I ever repay you?

00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,021

Sign up for the House

Depot credit card.

00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,981

That's it? Oh, bro.

If I get outta here,

00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,733

I will absolutely do that.

00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,611

Yes! Let's get you unchained.

00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,948

Thanks, I guess now you know

the truth about me.

00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,158

And what's that?

00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,993

That I don't give

a shit about your cause.

00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,870

I'm just some idiot

who made bad bets

00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,081

and I need yard bucks

to save my ass.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,792

10,000 yard bucks to be exact.

00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,001

You still want the job?

00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,419

Yeah, wait, really?

00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,587

- You trust me now?

- No.

00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,214

But you're finally being

honest with me.

00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,673

And if I can't get a hero,

00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,425

then I need someone

who's motivated.

00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,843

Thank you, I promise

00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,595

I'll get your cart

across the yard.

00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,763

Oh, I know you will

00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,723

or the McManus guy

is gonna kill you.

00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,517

Here, that's 3,000.

00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,810

You'll get the rest

when you deliver

00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,478

to the spot marked on this map.

00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,605

I suggest you leave at dawn.

00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:30,400

Terry, come out to play!

00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,528

- What the hell?

- Oh, God!

00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,339

Mouse trap, bitch!

00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,175

No, please stay.

00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,261

Why go to House Depot?

00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,387

You hate it there.

00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,513

Because when you're married,

00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,098

sometimes you gotta do

the most boring,

00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,559

terrible things to support the

dead alien you love.

00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,102

It's part of the vow, bro.

00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,104

Your husband sounds

like an asshole.

00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,689

You should be married to me.

00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,232

Who was the Taylor Swift song

00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,234

We Are Never Ever

Getting Back Together about?

00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,569

John Mayer?

00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,653

Oh, my dear boy.

00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,363

Gyllenhaal.

00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,285

Boy, where the hell you been?

00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,328

A guy I met at a pudding shop

trapped me in his board game.

00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,664

Again?

- I know, it's my Achilles heel.

00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,166

I love a good, old puddin' trap.

00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,505

House Depot, I'm so

happy to see you!

00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,884

The feels, the smells,

the boring bolts, ah!

00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,844

This is a huge attitude flip

for you, Terry.

00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,262

Did you do a whole story

00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,139

while the rest of us were

in chronological limbo?

00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,224

No, nope, no,

I-I pushed the button

00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,601

and died right when you did.

00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,312

Why do I get so nervous

around Theo?

00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,438

I never know what to say.

00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,773

I know exactly what to say.

00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,485

Mr. Korvo, how's that

pizza oven coming?

00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,696

- Hey, Daddy.

- What did you just call me?

00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,656

I said, hey, Daddy...

00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,160

can I sign up for

the House Depot credit card?

00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,412

Of course!

When you're an HD card holder,

00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,372

you can call me anything

you want.

00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,707

So tell me, Daddy,

00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,751

what kind of bricks should I buy

with my new credit card?

00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,753

I would go first-class

burnt clay.

00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,338

Huh, you don't think

that's overkill?

00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,716

You don't know me, Jerry,

00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092

but I know that your whole house

00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,802

is one kick-ass board game.

00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,763

So every time my partner's

at House Depot,

00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,890

I'm gonna bring pudding over

and we'll play.

00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,934

I'll even let you win

so you don't kidnap me.

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,394

- How's that sound?

- You look so familiar,

00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729

like from a dream.

00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,273

Nah, I was on season 16

of Bad Girls Club.

00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,399

Now eat your pudding.

00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,653

You know, I was thinking,

for better flow,

00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,905

we could add a two-top table

over in the corner.

00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,495

Oh, shit, Sofia. Hide. Now.

00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,871

Find a place to hide.

00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:48,956

Don't come out till morning

00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,332

no matter what you hear.

00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,792

- Promise me.

- I'm scared.

00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,126

I love you.

00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,716

We're closed.

00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,301

Where is it?

00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,095

I'm not scared of you.

00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,222

- Then you're of no use to me.

- No, no, no, wait!

00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,646

It's gotta be in here somewhere.

00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,398

Where is it?

00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,580

Goddammit. Hyah!

00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:44,720

Alright, Hedgey.

00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,305

One last job,

and then life will get

00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,723

a whole lot simpler.

00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,923

♪

00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,675

Five, six.

00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,468

- [Terry] Six, seven...

- Seven,

00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,137

- [trainer] eight.

- ...eight. [sighs]

00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,722

Terry, I'm finally ready.

00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,473

Damn it, Korvo,

you interrupted my last set

00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,517

of [burps] burpees.

00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,852

God, you're sexy.

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,603

Now get in the car,

we're going to House Depot.

00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,355

Ew, gross, what's

at House Depot?

00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,108

Everything we need to build

a brick pizza oven in the backyard.

00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,776

Finally, we can make-a da pizza!

00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,361

A make-a da pizza!

00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,488

I submitted my designs

to myself last night,

00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:33,199

and as of this morning,

I gave myself the green light.

00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,869

Alright, you almost never

get ideas past yourself.

00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,579

Yes, I'm a hard-to-please

little slut.

00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,789

Now, to buy the material

so we can begin construction.

00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,708

Replicants, family

hardware trip!

00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,377

Ooh, on the way, can we stop

at Puddin' on the Ritz?

00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,795

It's hands down the second-best

00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,131

room-temp pudding pop

pop-up shop in the region.

00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,133

No, that's disgusting,

I swear to God.

00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,260

Get your asses down here,

it's House Depot time!

00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,511

We're coming!

00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,847

Does it look like there's

fewer little peeps in the wall?

00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,432

You don't think a bunch

of them got out, do you?

00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,184

- [finger tapping]

- No way.

00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,435

They're probably just

hiding under

00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,145

ornamental rocks like lizards.

00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,354

[Korvo] Stop ignoring me!

00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,398

I said we're coming, goddammit!

00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:10,570

[♪ dramatic music]

00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,907

KORVO: Planet Shlorp was

a perfect utopia,

00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,117

until the asteroid hit.

00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,079

One hundred adults and their replicants

were issued a Pupa

00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,830

and escaped into the... space,

00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,500

searching for new homes

on uninhabited worlds.

00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,918

We crashed on Earth,

00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,836

stranding us on an already

overpopulated planet.

00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,797

{\an8}That's right, I've been talking

this whole time.

00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,048

{\an8}I'm the one holding the Pupa.

00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,758

{\an8}My name is Korvo.

This is my show.

00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,093

{\an8}Bollocks, I just dropped

the Pupa.

00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,053

{\an8}Ugh. This is ridiculous.

I hate Earth.

00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,137

{\an8}It's a horrible home.

00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,639

{\an8}People are stupid

and confusing.

00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,641

{\an8}You can't feed your gremlins

after midnight here.

00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,976

{\an8}On Shlorp, our gremlins had

a vibrant late-night scene

00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,354

{\an8}that included dancing,

food, and getting wet!

00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:47,565

[♪ dramatic music]

00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,028

[Korvo] Nope, that's

my spot, get away!

00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,488

[tires screeching,

cars crashing]

00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,698

- [Yumyulack] Whoa.

- [Jesse] Geez.

00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,827

{\an8}Aw, smell that? Sawdust.

00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,829

{\an8}Look at all these doers

getting more done.

00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,123

{\an8}What the hell? This isn't a store,

it's a warehouse!

00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,791

{\an8}You wanna be coddled by shelves?

00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,793

{\an8}Go to Ace. The Depot's

for builders.

00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,294

{\an8}[gasps] They have Banana Fanta!

00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,338

{\an8}It's the last Fanta flavor

I haven't tried.

00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,549

{\an8}Check out those roomy

washing machines.

00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,092

{\an8}Wonder if they'd let

me nap in one.

00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,802

{\an8}Oh, the hoses are on sale.

00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,554

{\an8}- Look, they have green ones!

- Can we go?

00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,681

{\an8}You know boring-ass bullshit

makes my skin crawl.

00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,182

There he is. Theo.

00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,476

- [♪ enchanting music]

- [Terry] Who's Theo?

00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,769

He's the DIY guy I've been

00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,271

{\an8}talking to about

Project Pizza Oven.

00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,606

{\an8}He's so knowledgeable

and patient with me,

00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,066

{\an8}even though I ask too

many questions.

00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,360

{\an8}Are you crushing on a guy

wearing a high-vis vest?

00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,904

- Is that what's happening here?

- No, I respect Theo.

00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,323

{\an8}I fear him, I want to hear him say

he's proud of me,

00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,534

{\an8}and in my wildest fantasy,

we discuss lumber prices.

00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,453

{\an8}Aw, I'm glad you found someone

who's gonna talk hardware with you,

00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,372

{\an8}'cause I am never gonna do that.

00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,749

{\an8}Thank God our marriage allows

for platonic friendships.

00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,334

{\an8}[moaning, kisses smacking]

00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,544

{\an8}- [hand smacking butt]

- Ooh.

00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,921

{\an8}Mr. Korvo, how's that

pizza oven coming?

00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,840

{\an8}Just choosing bricks

for the foundation, Theo.

00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,967

{\an8}Could you run me through

the options again?

00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,303

{\an8}Well, there are fire bricks,

burnt clay bricks,

00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,554

{\an8}sun-dried clay bricks.

00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,222

{\an8}Ugh, so boring.

00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,183

{\an8}This is worse than that time

I tried to read a book.

00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,684

{\an8}Escort me to the brick

aisle, Theo.

00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,103

{\an8}I wanna feel burnt

clay in my hands.

00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,689

{\an8}Spoken like a true craftsman.

Follow me.

00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,774

{\an8}- Lead the way, Daddy.

- [Terry gasps]

00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,777

{\an8}Ha, did you just call

the House Depot guy "Daddy"?

00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,946

{\an8}You know what?

I just remembered,

00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,116

{\an8}I have another customer

who needs my help building a-a door.

00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,243

Theo, come on, that was just

a slip of the tongue.

00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,536

We can bounce back

from this, right?

00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,413

Sorry, but I can only

deal with people

00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,915

who are serious about hardware.

00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,999

I am serious.

00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,375

I want to handcraft a pizza oven

00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,002

we only use a couple of times.

00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,671

Uh, YouTube has some

helpful tutorials.

00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,799

Congratulations, Korvo,

you somehow made House Depot fun

00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,009

for three seconds.

00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,385

What the hell is wrong with me?

00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,970

Why did I call Theo "Daddy"?

00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,764

That's not a me thing,

that's a you thing.

00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,474

It was a classic Korvo meltdown.

00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,517

You guys should've seen it.

Total season one shit.

00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,187

I was too busy not getting

Banana Fanta

00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,314

because a contractor

bought the last bottles

00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,607

for his HVAC guys.

00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,359

I thought they were supposed

to drink beer.

00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,568

And I was having

the nap of my life

00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,237

in a two-and-a-half-cubic-foot

front loader

00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,738

until a 40-something

childless couple

00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,073

opened the door

and tumbled me out.

00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,532

Well, I hope everyone

got their fill

00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:02,992

of boring-ass House Depot,

00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,494

because it's scorched earth now.

00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,912

Theo has been on this

pizza oven journey

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,163

with me from conception.

00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,706

I can't lose him now.

00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:11,251

Oh, Korvo, baby, he gone.

00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,919

I can fix this. I just

need another run

00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,754

at that interaction,

and luckily--

00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,673

Please don't say there's

a sci-fi way to do it.

00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:20,260

Oh, shut up, you big silly,

you love it when I go sci-fi.

00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,429

Behold the Live Die

Repeat Device.

00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,056

Oh, shit, are we gonna

get sued again?

00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,849

I didn't know the Carlton dance

was copyrighted

00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,768

when I did it outside the window

of The Today Show.

00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,395

[AISHA]

This device was only inspired

00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,813

by the film Live Die Repeat,

00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,357

which was initially known as

Edge of Tomorrow,

00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,817

even though that

title sucks ass.

00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,403

It was legit my favorite movie

from 10 summers ago.

00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,904

- How does it work?

- [AISHA] When it's your turn,

00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,364

you press your wedge and die.

00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,241

Then the chronotones

are activated

00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,285

and you repeat the day

you just lived.

00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,161

Dammit, AISHA,

that's so complicated.

00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,705

I told you to make it

like in the movie.

00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,708

[AISHA] And I told you,

WB's litigious as hell,

00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,084

hence the inspired by.

00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,544

- We doing this or not?

- I'm sorry,

00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,170

- did you just say we die?

- Activate!

00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,547

[button beeps]

00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,425

[Korvo grunting]

00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,387

Yeesh, that's pretty grim.

00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,347

Isn't he supposed to

come back to life?

00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,433

[AISHA] It only works when

you all do it.

00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,102

- [button beeps]

- [Jesse grunting]

00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,812

- [button beeps]

- [Yumyulack grunting]

00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,897

Ugh, I freaking hate

House Depot!

00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,899

[Terry grunts]

00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,361

[air whooshing]

00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,657

[Korvo]

I'm taking the spot again.

00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,909

I know it causes an accident,

but I don't care.

00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,330

Ugh, it's worse than I remember.

00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,415

There's that couple. I'm gonna chase them

away with this broom

00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,875

so they don't interrupt

my nap later.

00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,960

Come to mama, 'nana Fanta.

00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,671

Hey, there's nothing

to be nervous about.

00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,423

You're a hyper-intelligent

alien being,

00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,425

and he's a guy who upsells

toilet seats.

00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,676

You're right, I got this.

00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,220

Mr. Korvo, how's that

pizza oven coming?

00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,473

Going good, Daddy-- Fuck!

00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,391

I don't why I keep calling

Theo "Daddy."

00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,185

But we're not gonna get

to the bottom of that today.

00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,603

I just have to keep live, die,

00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,730

repeating until I get

this brick interaction right.

00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,358

I'm gonna sit this one out.

I've got a citronella headache.

00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,193

[AISHA] If Terry doesn't do it,

none of y'all can.

00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,362

The chronotones only work

if you all do it.

00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,155

- Why?

- [AISHA] You know I'm too busy

00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,990

to keep track of multiple

time streams.

00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,658

You're lucky I let you

do it at all, bitch.

00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,994

Family vote, who wants

to go back to House Depot?

00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,288

Ugh, fine.

00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,665

Thank you, Terry, for always respecting

the outcome of votes.

00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,209

It's one of my two core values.

00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,753

Respect the vote and never use

the laughing/crying emoji.

00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,296

- [button beeps]

- [Yumyulack grunts]

00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,672

- [button beeps]

- [Korvo grunts]

00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:22,965

- [button beeps]

- [Jesse grunts]

00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,926

Why don't we have

any kids' chewable aspirin?

00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,219

You know I don't

like to swallow.

00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,428

[AISHA] Your turn to die, Terry.

00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,679

Get your ass in the seat.

00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,806

Okay, I better hurry up

00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,808

so I can go back to House Depot.

00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,601

- Hold up, hold up.

- [AISHA] Terry...

00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,186

- Does it hurt?

- [AISHA] No.

00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,896

They're frozen in a state

of chronological limbo

00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,981

- until you die.

- Well, limbo's comfy, right?

00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,650

People hang out there

forever sometimes.

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,068

[AISHA]

Their chronotones are frozen.

00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,444

They aren't aware of anything.

00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,029

Great, I'm just gonna

take a quick 10,

00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,156

and then I'll die

and repeat, BRB.

00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,575

[AISHA] Terry, get your ass

back in that sci-fi SIMON

00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,868

and kill yourself!

00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:51,953

Terry!

00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,166

[Terry snoring]

00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,544

[alarm beeps]

00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,087

Damn, that went fast.

00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,672

Ugh, gotta get back

to the thing.

00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:06,050

[sniffs] Ooh, bit ripe,

better shower up first.

00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,761

[can clanking]

00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,682

[♪ dramatic music]

00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,517

[slurps]

00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,313

[♪ spaghetti western music]

00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,191

♪

00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,044

[lock clicks]

00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,010

Morning, who are

the early birds?

00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,595

Oh, just some fellas

passing through

00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,180

on their way to Basketballburgh.

00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,973

Do you remember

when Yumyulack first left

00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,183

that basketball out here?

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,267

What did I say?

00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,019

Somebody's gonna hollow

that thing out

00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,645

and start living in it.

00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,064

You were right, Uncle.

You always are.

00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,317

You're buttering me up.

What do you want, Sofia?

00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,818

Well, all my friends

are heading out

00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,778

to see the Pepsi can,

and I was hoping--

00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,906

Not today, I need you here

minding The Birdhouse

00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,407

while I conduct some business.

00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,784

But you never let

me go anywhere.

00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,786

And the soda's fresh now.

00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,288

If I wait, it'll lose its fizz.

00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,582

Sofia, that can is deeper

into the yard.

00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,792

It isn't like over here

by the house and the downspout.

00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,294

It's too dangerous!

00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,837

I have to keep you safe, dammit.

00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,923

I'm the reason you're

small to begin with.

00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,342

Uncle Oscar, you can't

blame yourself.

00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,801

If I hadn't shushed Yumyulack

00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,386

when he made a phone

call during Luca,

00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,972

you'd be in your sophomore year

at Brown right now.

00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,266

You know what?

00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,392

Maybe Terry will toss

another Pepsi

00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,727

a little closer to town.

00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,521

I'm sure he will, sweetie.

00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,526

Oh, man, great post-shower

miniseries.

00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,027

You think those brothers

aren't gonna band,

00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,654

but then... [chuckles]

00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,947

Wonder what that war was about?

00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,823

- Schwimmer!

- [JK Sevens beeping]

00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:56,410

Ah, well, I'm rested,

relaxed, and out of excuses.

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,538

Time to just suck it up and get back

to House Depot...

00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,665

- right after a snack.

- Terry.

00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,208

Korvo wouldn't let me

have pudding earlier.

00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,709

It makes total sense

for me to get some now

00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,169

while he's in limbzees.

00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,129

{\an8}I got one marshmallow pudding

00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,422

{\an8}with cool ranch sprinkles

00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:09,966

{\an8}and a side of extra thick pudding

skin for--

00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,050

{\an8}- [Terry] That'd be me.

- [man] That'd be me.

00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,927

{\an8}Ugh, it's for Jerry.

00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,804

{\an8}Please, let me finish

saying the names.

00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,931

{\an8}This one's for Terry.

00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,767

I've never met someone

with my exact same pudding order.

00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,310

You've got great taste.

00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,687

Well, it doesn't hurt

that it tastes great.

00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,063

[Jerry and Terry laughing]

00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,691

BT dubs, love your shirt.

Is it ironic?

00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,693

This? No, it's sincere.

00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,236

I've been working on something

in the same area,

00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,445

but this is better.

00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,323

Well, I adore

your Helvetica in Courier shirt.

00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:37,618

It's amazing what you can do

with a public domain font.

00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,496

Good eye. Hey, am I crazy

or do we have a rapport?

00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,331

You know what? I think we do.

00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:45,251

Wanna join me? My booth has

a great view of the highway.

00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,961

Alright, cars and trucks!

00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,591

[feet scurrying]

00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,970

♪

00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,226

Whoa, Hedgey.

00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,020

Easy, boy, easy.

00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,232

Hey, hey, aren't you Gavin?

00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,984

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,195

You are. [laughs]

I'd know that hedgehog anywhere.

00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,530

Sorry, you got me confused

00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,282

for some other ruggedly handsome

hedgehog man.

00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,576

Nah, nah, nah, I don't think so.

00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,703

Dude, shut up, I'm trying

to keep a low profile!

00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,288

Didn't you see me

pull my hat down?

00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,248

Sorry, I'm just a fan.

00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,375

I heard you did

the Sandbox Run in under a day.

00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,127

Oh, shit, am I known

around here?

00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,420

Nah, nah, you're good.

00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,630

Most Gutterville folks

haven't even

00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,089

been past Pupa's playhouse.

00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,466

Good, good.

00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,843

You know anywhere I can post

my hog for the night?

00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,221

Right here, free of charge.

00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,348

Thanks, kid.

00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,224

Where do I get a drink?

00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,310

[people chattering]

00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,063

[♪ Western piano music]

00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,606

Hey, what can I get you?

00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,608

Tall glass of whatever's

cheapest.

00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,692

You take yard bucks?

00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,027

I'll give you the combination.

00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,737

Inside is a cart full of food.

00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,906

- Where do you need it to go?

- The northwest corner

00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,574

at this exact location.

00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,868

Ah, shit, Oscar, it's too far.

00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,412

I can't be taking risks like that anymore.

Got a girlfriend now.

00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,748

A real-life girlfriend,

not that acorn I drew boobs on.

00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,042

But you're the only one

I can trust to get it there.

00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,835

If not, people will starve.

00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,671

Look, the yard's tough

for everybody now.

00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,006

- I'll pay you 10,000 yard bucks.

- [splutters]

00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,341

It's not about the money.

00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,134

You know I would do

anything for the cause,

00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,427

but not this time.

00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,932

Oh, oh, if you're looking to get a cart

across the yard, I'm your guy.

00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,308

Mister, you can get

in big trouble

00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,893

listening to other

people's business.

00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,061

You'll be glad I did.

00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,813

I got a hedgehog

can pull your cart

00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,231

faster than anybody.

00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,440

We've been to all

the territories

00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,566

and a few others.

00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,360

Save it, I know your type.

00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,113

I don't do business

with people I don't trust.

00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:39,949

[Jerry and Terry laughing]

00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,867

Ah, this is exactly

what I needed.

00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,369

Well, my pudding is done.

00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,038

I must return to my

alien spaceship and kill myself.

00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,373

Or you could come to my place

00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,874

and play a board

game I invented.

00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,001

It's like Cranium

meets Trivial Pursuit

00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,795

with the

internet-lol-bacon-humor

00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,213

of Cards Against Humanity

00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,591

and a splash of TikTok's

physical challenges.

00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,136

You had me at a splash

of TikTok's physical challenges,

00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,345

which was at the end

of your pitch,

00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:02,805

but that did lock me in.

00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640

Ooh, but I can only play

for a little bit though,

00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,725

my family's dead.

00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:12,022

Terry, you just completed

a record-breaking 200 levels.

00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,942

But this final roll determines

everything.

00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,819

- [Terry blowing]

- [dice clicking]

00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,907

Your trivia category choices

are pop culture listicles,

00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,618

discontinued snack foods,

or dog sounds.

00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,246

Hey, no shame in going for

the easiest one, gimme the listicles.

00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,165

What are the top 10 deaths

00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,041

in the Final Destination

franchise

00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,085

that make you say, "Da fuq?"

00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,712

Fifteen seconds, go!

00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,422

Cut in half by a cherry picker,

00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,466

cut in half by barbed wire,

cooked in a tanning bed,

00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,134

crushed by a pane of glass,

crushed by weights,

00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,511

impaled by a ladder, guts sucked out by a

swimming pool drain,

00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,764

beheaded by shrapnel,

ironically hit by an ambulance

00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,223

- and the log truck.

- [Jerry] Whoa!

00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,350

You just unlocked

the throne room!

00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,478

No one's ever gotten this far!

00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,063

[♪ upbeat music]

00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,899

Your whole house is the game?

00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,609

Jerry, you are the king!

00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,322

- Ugh, stinky.

- [JK Sevens beeping]

00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,241

[spray hissing]

00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:05,534

[sniffs]

00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:12,249

♪

00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,043

- [gasps]

- Whoa!

00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,546

- I've never seen it so clean.

- I worked all night.

00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,924

Even fixed the bar top you built

from an old Wahoo's coaster.

00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,134

Look, Uncle, the wobble's gone.

00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,636

I wanted to show you

that I'm a man

00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,179

you can trust

to get things done.

00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,181

So to get me to trust you,

00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,642

you broke into my bar

and touched all my stuff?

00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,520

Well, I, uh, I can see now

how that was misguided.

00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,104

But, unless I'm mistaken,

00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,732

you still haven't found anyone

to pull your cart.

00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,192

Why do you want this job so bad?

00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,320

I wanna help your cause,

hungry people, right?

00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,696

I love to help the starving.

00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,198

Nope, you're nothing

but a bullshitter.

00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,324

You aren't welcome here.

00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,368

Get out and don't come back!

00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,746

- That was harsh.

- I know people, Sofia.

00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,748

You can never trust

a man like that.

00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,917

[Terry]

Hello, Marcia Gay Harden?

00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,085

You don't know me,

but I'm playing an

00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,795

incredibly detailed

homebrew board game,

00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,005

and I need you to agree

to be my dream date to win.

00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,299

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,385

Okay, thanks.

She said she'd take out a

00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,678

restraining order

if we called again.

00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,971

[alarms blaring]

00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,889

- Wait, did I win?

- Yes.

00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,225

It's 50 points if Marcia

picks up at all.

00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,269

Oh, yay, hey,

good game to everyone.

00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,603

No, it wasn't for me!

00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,272

We need a rematch. Now!

00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,190

Oof, would love to, but I can't.

00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,441

My husband and

replicants are stuck

00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,026

in a Live Die Repeat machine.

00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,945

I gotta hit a button that'll send us back

to House Deeps.

00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,948

So when you repeat today,

it'll be like we never met,

00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,158

and all my game levels

we play tested

00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,577

will be unfinished again?

00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078

Weird part of my story

to focus on.

00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,997

- But yeah, I guess.

- Unacceptable!

00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,749

You're staying here and playing

my game until it's perfect!

00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,043

Take your games and shove them

up your Milton Bradley!

00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,421

Only way I'm staying here

is if you chain me to the wall.

00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,589

- [chain clinks]

- Ah!

00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,007

Dammit, I forgot I got chained

00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,800

when I missed three

2 Chainz questions.

00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,635

Unlock me, I gotta kill myself.

00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,221

Your roll!

00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,890

[♪ dramatic music]

00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,896

I need four gutter beers,

one Yardarita, five mudslides--

00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,899

[slurring] Gimme a shot of that

barrel-aged paint thinner.

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,483

Needs another month

for the turpentine

00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,735

to absorb the flavor

of the plastic.

00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,819

- Gimme!

- [Oscar grunts]

00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,154

[drunk yells]

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,531

Not in here, buddy.

You take it outside.

00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,117

- Hey, that hurts.

- [chuckles]

00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,702

Maybe you're wrong about him.

00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,496

Ah! [screams]

00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,248

I know you said stay away,

00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,083

but looked like you could

use some help.

00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,127

- Hope that's okay.

- Thanks.

00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,754

[man] Hey, shitbird!

00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,465

McManus, how'd you find me?

00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,593

Oh, hey, what's up man?

These guys paid me.

00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,054

Also, you were kind of a dick,

so treat your fans better.

00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,347

Dude, what the hell?

00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307

We need to talk.

00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,975

What are you doing here,

McManus?

00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478

You owe me 10,000 yard bucks.

00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,396

- Where is it?

- Talk to your boss.

00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,190

I got another day to pay.

00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,608

Oh, that's right, you do.

00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,736

I'm just here to remind you

what happens if you don't.

00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,947

[Gavin grunting]

00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,658

- [kicks thudding]

- [Gavin grunting]

00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:56,163

What was the sitcom

starring Candice Bergen that--

00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,665

- I don't know, Quantico?

- Wrong!

00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,376

You've given that same answer

the last 10 times.

00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,920

Oh, no, shit, I lose.

00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,297

Dammit, I'm so pissed

about losing.

00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,757

- Can I go home now?

- No.

00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,592

You still need to fall

down another chute

00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,260

into a massage chair I rigged

00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,681

to shock you if you get a question wrong

about Taylor Swift.

00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,641

Oh God, I would do anything

to be back

00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,309

with my family at House

Depot right now

00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,936

instead of answering

TayTay triv.

00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,688

I want this to be fun again.

00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,940

Would it help if I got

us some pudding?

00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,901

I don't know, maybe.

If it was room temp.

00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,779

Ooh, I'll run to the store,

and then down the chute you go!

00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,323

- [door closes]

- Okay, I bought some time to escape.

00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,700

And if I can't do that,

at least there'll be pudding.

00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,243

Either way, I'm talking

to myself.

00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,203

[gasps] I bet I can use

that dream date phone

00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,663

to call non-dreamy dates.

00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:41,542

♪

00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,545

Can't call the cops or

they'll arrest me.

00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,755

I've got a warrant for selling

pornographic Hearthstone cards.

00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,966

Ugh, damn this grade-70

cable chain!

00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,468

Ugh, why do I know

that boring information?

00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,012

Oh, my God, it's hardware.

00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,930

Chains is just hardware.

00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,307

- [phone beeping]

- [phone ringing]

00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,185

- This is Theo.

- [Terry] Theo, this is Terry.

00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,187

I'm the alien friend of that

other weird alien, Korvo,

00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,314

who called you Daddy this morning.

That was today, right?

00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,816

Yeah, man, that was weird.

00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,776

I know you only help people

who take home repairs seriously,

00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,111

which I do not,

00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,612

but you're a man with

core values,

00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,072

so I'm begging you to

make an exception.

00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,699

Is this a hardware emergency?

00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,534

[Terry] Oh, that sounds

so stupid, but yes, it is.

00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,619

If someone who hates hardware

is calling me up

00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,663

asking for help,

it must be dire.

00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,124

I cannot turn my back

on a home repair in need.

00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,459

Tell me what you're seeing.

00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,419

I-I'm cable chained to a wall.

There are screws.

00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,254

Otherwise, it's a standard

board game trap house.

00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,839

[Theo] Do you have any tools?

00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133

Let's see, the Monopoly thimble,

a pudding spoon,

00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,761

half a deck of Uno cards,

and 400 Warhammer figurines.

00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,012

[Theo] We can work with that.

00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,430

Alright, I'll talk you

through this

00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:39,224

step-by-step,

but do exactly as I say.

00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,060

Thank you.

Oh, you're a good man, Theo.

00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,269

How can I ever repay you?

00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,021

Sign up for the House

Depot credit card.

00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,981

[Terry] That's it? Oh, bro.

If I get outta here,

00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,733

I will absolutely do that.

00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,611

Yes! Let's get you unchained.

00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,948

Thanks, I guess now you know

the truth about me.

00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,158

And what's that?

00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,993

That I don't give

a shit about your cause.

00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,870

I'm just some idiot

who made bad bets

00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,081

and I need yard bucks

to save my ass.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,792

10,000 yard bucks to be exact.

00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,001

You still want the job?

00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,419

Yeah, wait, really?

00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,587

- You trust me now?

- No.

00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,214

But you're finally being

honest with me.

00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,673

And if I can't get a hero,

00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,425

then I need someone

who's motivated.

00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,843

Thank you, I promise

00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,595

I'll get your cart

across the yard.

00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,763

Oh, I know you will

00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,723

or the McManus guy

is gonna kill you.

00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,517

Here, that's 3,000.

00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,810

You'll get the rest

when you deliver

00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,478

to the spot marked on this map.

00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,605

I suggest you leave at dawn.

00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:30,400

Terry, come out to play!

00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,528

- What the hell?

- Oh, God!

00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,279

[♪ dramatic music]

00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,866

[Jerry and Terry grunting]

00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,998

[punch thuds]

00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,208

[Jerry grunts]

00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:48,836

[glass shatters]

00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,339

Mouse trap, bitch!

00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,175

[sobbing] No, please stay.

00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,261

Why go to House Depot?

00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,387

You hate it there.

00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,513

Because when you're married,

00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,098

sometimes you gotta do

the most boring,

00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,559

terrible things to support the

dead alien you love.

00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,102

It's part of the vow, bro.

00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,104

Your husband sounds

like an asshole.

00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,689

You should be married to me.

00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,232

Who was the Taylor Swift song

00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,234

We Are Never Ever

Getting Back Together about?

00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,569

John Mayer?

00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,653

Oh, my dear boy.

00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,363

- Gyllenhaal.

- [buzzer sounds]

00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:19,032

- [electricity zapping]

- [Jerry screaming]

00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,285

[AISHA]

Boy, where the hell you been?

00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,328

A guy I met at a pudding shop

trapped me in his board game.

00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,664

- [AISHA] Again?

- I know, it's my Achilles heel.

00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,166

I love a good, old puddin' trap.

00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,418

- [button beeps]

- [Terry grunts]

00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,505

House Depot, I'm so

happy to see you!

00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,884

The feels, the smells,

the boring bolts, ah!

00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,844

This is a huge attitude flip

for you, Terry.

00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,262

Did you do a whole story

00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,139

while the rest of us were

in chronological limbo?

00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,224

No, nope, no,

I-I pushed the button

00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,601

and died right when you did.

00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,312

Why do I get so nervous

around Theo?

00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,438

I never know what to say.

00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,773

I know exactly what to say.

00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:52,983

[Terry whispering]

00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,485

Mr. Korvo, how's that

pizza oven coming?

00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,696

- Hey, Daddy.

- What did you just call me?

00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,656

I said, hey, Daddy...

00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,160

can I sign up for

the House Depot credit card?

00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,412

Of course!

When you're an HD card holder,

00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,372

you can call me anything

you want.

00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,707

So tell me, Daddy,

00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,751

what kind of bricks should I buy

with my new credit card?

00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,753

[Theo] I would go first-class

burnt clay.

00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,338

[Korvo] Huh, you don't think

that's overkill?

00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,464

[doorbell rings]

00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,716

You don't know me, Jerry,

00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092

but I know that your whole house

00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,802

is one kick-ass board game.

00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,763

So every time my partner's

at House Depot,

00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,890

I'm gonna bring pudding over

and we'll play.

00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,934

I'll even let you win

so you don't kidnap me.

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,394

- How's that sound?

- You look so familiar,

00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729

like from a dream.

00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,273

Nah, I was on season 16

of Bad Girls Club.

00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,399

Now eat your pudding.

00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,653

You know, I was thinking,

for better flow,

00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,905

we could add a two-top table

over in the corner.

00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,992

[♪ suspenseful music]

00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,495

Oh, shit, Sofia. Hide. Now.

00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,871

Find a place to hide.

00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:48,956

Don't come out till morning

00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,332

no matter what you hear.

00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,792

- Promise me.

- I'm scared.

00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,126

I love you.

00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,878

[♪ suspenseful music continues]

00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,716

We're closed.

00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,301

Where is it?

00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,095

I'm not scared of you.

00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,222

- Then you're of no use to me.

- No, no, no, wait!

00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,848

- [blood splattering]

- [gasps]

00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,726

[♪ dramatic music]

00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,646

- It's gotta be in here somewhere.

- [objects clattering]

00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,398

Where is it?

00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,317

[♪ dramatic music]

00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:22,114

[furniture crashing]

00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,367

[♪ dramatic music continues]

00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,580

Goddammit. Hyah!

00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:34,626

[♪ dramatic music continues]

00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:44,720

Alright, Hedgey.

00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,305

One last job,

and then life will get

00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,723

a whole lot simpler.

00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,642

[dramatic music continues]

00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,728

♪

00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:02,779

[♪ dramatic theme playing]

00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,654

[mimicking laser fire]