Битва за Заб 9 — Робот-компаньон заболел. Юмьюлак и Джесси отводят его к врачу. Доктор сообщает, что этот робот, похоже, имеет боевую программу и плохо себя чувствует из-за того, что не сражается с другими роботами. Репликанты подыскивают ему соперников. Космические копы отправляют Глена на планету Заб 9, где используют в качестве пушечного мяса в войне с лошадями. Глен теряет на войне своего друга.

Предыдущая серия S05 E08 Устройство „Что, если?“

Следующая серия S05 E10 Большой день уборки Терри

Битва за Заб 9

The Battle of Zab 9

Сезон: 05Серия: 09

Описание

Робот-компаньон заболел. Юмьюлак и Джесси отводят его к врачу. Доктор сообщает, что этот робот, похоже, имеет боевую программу и плохо себя чувствует из-за того, что не сражается с другими роботами. Репликанты подыскивают ему соперников. Космические копы отправляют Глена на планету Заб 9, где используют в качестве пушечного мяса в войне с лошадями. Глен теряет на войне своего друга.

Субтитры

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,273 РАНЕЕ В СЕРИАЛЕ
00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:04,400 Пришло время последнего испытания.
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:08,420 Я не думал, что с кем-то подружусь здесь.
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,660 Я исправлю среброкопов изнутри.
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,064 Это всё — херня! Нам не дадут стать среброкопами.
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,120 Тогда ты и выходи!
00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:18,400 - Конец тебе, сынок. - Твоя вина.
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:24,190 С этого момента вы принадлежите среброармии, сребромясо.
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,901 СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ СРЕБРОКОПЫ
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:54,400 ЗАБ 9 ПЕРЕДОВАЯ ВОЙНЫ С ИГОМ
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,390 Слушайте сюда.
00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:03,930 Мы приземлимся на планету через три минуты.
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:06,310 Вы вступите в бой против Ига,
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:09,650 инопланетной расы бездушных жестоких роботов.
00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:12,385 Эти психованные твари разлетелись по всей галактике.
00:01:12,427 --> 00:01:15,376 Они присваивают запасы и делают из жителей планет рабов.
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:18,080 Томблр, сдуреть можно. Надо выбираться отсюда.
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,330 Не говори со мной, мы не друзья.
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,950 - И со мной не болтай. - Я и не думал.
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:26,670 Я пришёл не друзей заводить, и уж точно не стану прикрывать твою спину.
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:30,730 Я лишь хочу убивать лошадей и носить их яйца как бусы на шее.
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,840 Срань господня.
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,110 Быстро ты переключился к военным трофеям.
00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:35,630 Оружие к бою.
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,930 Знайте, я буду рядом с вами на каж...
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,960 Подавитесь, парнокопытные мрази!
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,620 - Охренеть! - Бежим, бежим, бежим!
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:25,710 Слышь, чел, прости. Прости, что недавно просил отвалить.
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,800 Я думаю, мы с тобой станем хорошими друзьями, даже расскажем друг другу о себе.
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,610 Охренеть!
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,270 Даже договорить не дают.
00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:42,350 ОШИБКА
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:47,190 Судя по нортоновскому антивирус-мометру, Джей-кей Севенс заболел.
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:50,920 Как только он сказал «буп», а не «бвап», я сразу заподозрил неладное.
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:54,210 Вынесем, и закажем вывоз крупногабаритного мусора.
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,630 Может, позвонить Терри и Корво?
00:02:57,770 --> 00:03:01,940 Не, они смотрят четвёртого аватара «Трёхдневные выходные Нави».
00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:06,080 Фильм идёт 72 часа, и они просили не отвлекать их ни на секунду от Зои Салданы.
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:10,086 А если Джей-Кей умрёт до их возвращения, они ни за что не вернут нам телефоны.
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:13,591 Вообще не круто, что они забрали наши телефоны только потому,
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,780 что мы с тобой никогда их не слушаемся.
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,950 Фу, карты памяти и болтики лезут из всех отверстий.
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,760 БАЗА СРЕБРОСОЛДАТ
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:30,540 Мои анусы! Мне оторвало все анусы!
00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:32,500 Для них мы цыплята на цак-цак.
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,580 «Цыплята на цак-цак?»
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,670 Ситуация настолько патовая, что даже метафор в голове нет.
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,090 Так ужасно.
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:40,630 Продержимся подольше, и, может, сможем сбежать.
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,350 Я не сбегу. Мы на задании. Нужно одолеть Иго и освободить планету.
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,600 Чел, эта война — полная хрень.
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,457 Может.
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,040 Но если мы покажем себя здесь, то станем героями.
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,940 Тогда нас возьмут в среброкопы.
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,770 Серьёзно?
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:54,630 Всё ещё хочешь стать среброкопом?
00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:57,070 Нас же отослали в жопу вселенной.
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,330 Я не сдаюсь перед лицом трудностей.
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,900 В отличии от тебя!
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,990 И давно у тебя такие мысли, индюк ты напыщенный?
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,410 Встряхнитесь, сребро-уроды!
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,320 Мы его знаем. Он нас тренировал.
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,000 Заткнись!
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:15,170 Я новый командир вашего отряда, и да, моя вторая голова погибла в бою.
00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:19,840 Он по-любому сейчас добавляет свои колкие, поддерживающие комментарии с того света.
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,130 Ну всё, хватит. У нас есть задание...
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:26,480 Сребро-шпионы узнали о тайном лошадином объекте с боеприпасами.
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,730 Нам нужно два волонтёра для поиска базы, проникновения на базу и активации маячка.
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:32,890 Приводного маячка.
00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:35,805 Сигнал позволит нам подорвать базу, уничтожить её,
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:39,640 при этом не повредив минералы, которые можно найти в окрестностях.
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:44,060 Такие минералы как жижный камень, звёздные рубины и энергетический радий.
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,360 Они очень ценные.
00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:49,200 Врать не буду: при выполнении задания вы умрёте.
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,540 Но такие слова вредят боевому духу,
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,940 поэтому мы прозвали это задание «Суперкрутое геройское время на расслабоне».
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:58,260 Туда пойдут только суицидальные тупицы.
00:04:58,450 --> 00:04:59,980 Сержант, я вызываюсь!
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,210 Томблр! Ты не слышал, что я пробубнил?
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:05,090 Да, но я же говорил, надо показать себя.
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,577 Рад слышать, рядовой.
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,010 Нам нужен ещё один волонтёр...
00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:12,020 Может, лучший друг из учебного лагеря?
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,590 Он ещё похож на высокую собачку.
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,560 Кажется, он говорит с тобой.
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,270 Ладно. Я тоже пойду.
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:23,270 Вы все подохнете и будете гореть в аду!
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,520 Ха! Как оказалось, он был живой.
00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,740 Но теперь-то он вот точно подох.
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,190 БОЛЬНИЦА ИМЕНИ СВЯТОГО ДЖО
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,250 Здравствуйте, рад снова видеть вашу семейку.
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:43,197 Как я понял, Корво скончался после того превращения в жижу пару лет назад.
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,720 - Бедняга. - Он живой и процветает.
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,600 Ого, а я думал, ему кранты.
00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,100 Помогите, доктор. Наш робот приболел.
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,460 Что ж, я не представляю, как лечить роботов,
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,470 но как-то лечил женщину по имени Алекса от молочницы.
00:05:55,510 --> 00:05:58,520 Робот — это всего лишь человек без крови, осмотрим-ка его.
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,330 Медсестра, самбу сюда.
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,530 У вас в кабинете есть робот-пылесос?
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,639 Мы оставляем себе всё, что вытаскиваем из чужих задниц.
00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:15,870 Ого, здорово!
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 Я так и думал.
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,566 Он боевой робот, а заболел,
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,440 потому что не выполнял своё прямое предназначение,
00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,988 говоря медицинскими терминами, не надирал жопы.
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,158 Я рекомендую участвовать в робо-боях как можно скорее.
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:28,750 Для чего тогда рецепт?
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,690 Там не рецепт, а мой игровой ник.
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,830 Я могу отыметь вас в Call of Duty.
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,600 Можешь уйти в любой момент.
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,740 Хотелось бы, но вдруг тебе кто-нибудь надерёт зад.
00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:43,620 Я вообще и сам могу надрать себе зад.
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:44,920 То есть зад отдать.
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,900 Да пофиг! Вообще не важно!
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,140 А вы знаете лейтенанта Зергеккио?
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,808 Он должен провести нас через Радужное ущелье.
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,910 А мы называем это место по-другому.
00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:56,200 Ущелье смерти.
00:06:56,330 --> 00:07:00,460 - Потому что там умирают? - Нет, потому что там умирают.
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,420 Ищите Зергея? Вон он там.
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,694 Зергеккио?
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,420 Вот блин!
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,680 Что ж, самим нам не найти базу. Пойдём обратно.
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,328 ЗОНА 4
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:15,720 Да блин, чел. «Обратно» не там...
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,720 Надеюсь, ты ищешь другой окоп.
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:26,759 Умираю с голоду.
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,860 Даже готов съесть пиявок с мошонки.
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,804 Давай отдохнём.
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,648 Маленькому Томблру нужно отойти.
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,910 Маленькому?..
00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:35,370 Просто иди. Не надо шутить. Иди писай.
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:29,670 - Я не искал там пиявок! - Что за херня?
00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:31,910 Просто... Пойдём уже.
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,240 ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА СЕГОДНЯ: ЗАКРЫТЫЙ РОБО-ТУРНИР ДОЛИНЫ
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:38,998 ЗАКРЫТЫЙ РОБО-ТУРНИР ДОЛИНЫ
00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:42,270 Надеюсь, Джей-Кей сможет выпустить весь свой боевой дух.
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,795 Я не хочу, чтобы роботы делали ему больно.
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,270 Так, Джей-Кей, за дело.
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,580 Джей-Кей вернул свою прыть!
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,090 Мой единственный друг.
00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:12,760 Да брось, чел, что случилось? Ты какой-то мрачный стал.
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:13,650 Не хочу об этом.
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:17,490 Ух ты, видимо, это и есть Радужное ущелье...
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:20,680 И о чём говорил солдаты? Здесь смертью даже не пахнет.
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,166 Ложись!
00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:25,200 Впереди на возвышенности сидит снайпер.
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,900 Да. И у снайпера есть пушка.
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:28,570 Я Томблр. Это Чарджер.
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,400 Выполняем задание сребро-штаба.
00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,400 Я Гекс. Это Квайгоновски.
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,090 И вы никуда не попадёте, пока лошадиный урод там.
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,090 Я вижу снайпера.
00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,700 Он на выступе.
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,550 Теперь он смотрит на нас.
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,700 Теперь он спускает курок.
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,070 Теперь пули летят сюда. Вот чёрт!
00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:48,580 Прикройте меня, я смогу подкрасться и убить его.
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,440 Но тебя застрелят! У снайпера, вообще-то, есть оружие.
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,418 Не переживайте.
00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:55,150 Я обучалась современным методам подкрадывания.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,640 Сальто, ползки, цыпочки.
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,220 Я уже слышал про цыпочки.
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,470 Видимо, мощный метод.
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:04,100 Дома меня ждёт невеста, она беременна близнецами.
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:06,690 Подстрелили!
00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,320 - Спасём её! - Нет.
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,760 Пойдёшь — и тоже сдохнешь.
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,620 Он попал в голову!
00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:13,610 А теперь в плечи.
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,610 И пальцы.
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:19,470 Мне стреляли в голову, плечи, колени и пальцы.
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,030 Да пошёл ты, поганая лошадь!
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,800 И пусть твоя шикарная грива тоже на хрен идёт!
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,420 Придумал.
00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:42,050 Ура!
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:44,350 На нём были наглазники. Он нас не заметил.
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,060 В ретроспективе, он сглупил.
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,251 В перспективе тоже.
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,230 Вот чёрт. Что там?
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:52,990 Лошадиный дозор... Похоже, услышали взрыв.
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,890 Остановились?
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,000 Мы на минном поле.
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,580 Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт. Я подохну!
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,620 Мне так страшно, я ссусь от страха.
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,573 Всё будет хорошо.
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:21,243 Я уже видел такое в фильме «Охотники за сокровищами» с Джорджем Клуни.
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,680 Найдём что-нибудь такого же веса, как ты, и подменим, как в фильме «Индиана Джонс».
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:28,980 На счёт три, я вытащу тебя, как в «Смертельном оружии».
00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:31,780 Я вообще ни хрена не понимаю твои отсылки!
00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:32,588 На счёт три.
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,310 Раз... два, три!
00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:39,080 Ух ты, получилось!
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:43,710 Я... я если что не обоссался. Я просто пошутил.
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,200 Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт, бежим!
00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:58,420 Как хорошо, Джей-Кей Севенс выздоровел, и мы выиграли 20 баксов в блинную.
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,840 Блинчиков хватит на всех и каждого.
00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:05,350 О да! Хулу-лулу, врубай плейлист «Ямю-микс», будем праздновать.
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:14,610 Вот блин. Похоже, Джей-Кей не утолил аппетит к уничтожению роботов.
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,730 Ничего страшного.
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:18,930 Подкинем ещё техники, чтобы он смог его утолить.
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,950 Пресвятая Дженнифер Джейсон Лопес, всё!
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:28,100 Он уничтожил все наши гаджеты.
00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:30,250 Блендер Терри хоть поборолся за жизнь.
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,420 А что случится, когда ему уже будет нечего убивать?
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,487 Терри припрятал вибратор на случай землетрясения.
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,154 Неси!
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,590 Где?.. Где я?
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:52,687 Не надо.
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,190 Не приближайтесь!
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,880 Спокуха, всё путём.
00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:59,070 - Лошадки повсюду! - Да, они нас спасли...
00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:02,290 Это их тайная база, но здесь нет боеприпасов.
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,240 Всё верно, Томблр.
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,223 Здесь безопасно.
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:09,490 Кто ты? Я не знал, что лошадки могут говорить по-нашему.
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,830 «Лошадка» для нас оскорбительное слово.
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,290 Мы — эквиниты.
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,815 Меня зовут Лютик.
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,750 Я возглавляю силы сопротивления.
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,560 Да ну. Вы Иго, скверна мира!
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,279 За мной.
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:23,590 Пришло время снять наглазники и увидеть правду.
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,470 Здесь нет солдат.
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,720 Лишь семьи, беженцы.
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:35,480 Здесь убежище для всех, кто лишился своих домов.
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:38,150 Но вы же захватили эту планету!
00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:42,070 Среброкопы прилетели сюда, чтобы воровать наши природные ресурсы.
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:46,000 Легко всё присвоить, когда уничтожил местных и прозвал их Игом.
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,240 Но нам говорили совсем наоборот.
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,440 Стоп, получается, военные лгут о своих целях?
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,620 Предлагаю вам отдохнуть и перекусить нашей лучшей едой.
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,210 мы — мирный народ, а вы — наши гости.
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,510 Сегодня я впервые доставляю еду на дом.
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,730 Я так рад.
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,500 Приветики, робо-дружок. Может, зайдёшь к нам?
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,100 Мне запрещается входить в дома.
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,640 Да ничего не будет.
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:17,310 Мы хотим дать тебе чаевые.
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,860 Давай, входи, здесь нечего бояться.
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,400 - Что вы делаете? - Прости, малыш.
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:30,570 Нет, стойте, пожалуйста.
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,690 - Ай, колёсико. Ай. - Взяла пад си ю?
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,540 Да. А ещё салат с папайей.
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,630 Чёрт, овёс охрененный.
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,260 С трудом верится.
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,630 Война, наше задание. Всё ложь.
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,290 Как я мог быть таким тупым дурнем?
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,330 Я много раз пытался тебе сказать.
00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:56,060 Я сам превратился в то, что пугало меня в среброкопах в детстве.
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,140 Стал тупым, жестоким оккупантом.
00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,500 Иронично, да?
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,688 Ты никогда не боялся говорить мне правду,
00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:03,150 надо было довериться тебе.
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,967 Какой же я дубина!
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,730 Я тоже другой.
00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:09,500 На самом деле я человек с Земли,
00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:12,200 Я обожаю «Форсаж», и меня запустили в космос.
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,990 Среброкопы повесили на меня убийство, и хотели убить меня,
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:18,260 но я сбежал, изменил свою внешность, чтобы попасть в сребро-лагерь.
00:15:18,313 --> 00:15:20,460 Планировал подняться по карьерной лестнице,
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,460 сблизиться с предавшими меня копами
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:23,652 и отомстить.
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,340 Меня даже зовут не Додж. Я Глен Кончстайн.
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,130 Глен... Кончстин?
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:31,090 Нет. Уши тебе на что? Я только что сказал «Кончстайн».
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,370 Давай свалим.
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,350 Покинем планету, начнём новую жизнь,
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:36,957 в которой не будет места для мести среброкопам.
00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,620 Для начала мы уничтожим маячок.
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,376 Томблр, нет!
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,837 Сдохни! Сдохни! Сдохни!
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:42,462 Что?
00:15:42,504 --> 00:15:46,280 Уничтожение маячка отправляет сигнал в сребро-штаб, и они сразу же посылают бойцов.
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,110 Я читал руководство, пока срал.
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:50,110 Вот те на! Надо сваливать!
00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:53,060 Сребро-солдаты на походе.
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,740 Вам нужно выбираться отсюда.
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,476 Я отведу всех к главному входу.
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:58,880 Нет! Оттуда они и придут. Есть другой выход?
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,080 Когда-то был.
00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:03,066 Он обрушился во время бомбардировки.
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,170 Что будем делать?
00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:07,750 У моей Honda S2000 было 250 лошадиных сил.
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:10,300 Но со всеми эквинитами, силы в два раза больше.
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:11,720 Что предлагаешь?
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,720 Вытащим камень сами!
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,980 Убейте всех копытных!
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,190 Хья! Хья!
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,320 Хья! Хья!
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:33,810 Хья!
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,440 Слишком тяжело!
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,580 Вы сможете! Хья!
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,870 И так тяжело, а ты ещё со своими «хья».
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:41,040 Чёрт, простите.
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,090 Наверное, и оптика хреновая.
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,480 Тянем!
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:53,720 Можно пройти!
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:01,250 Серебряные здесь.
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,649 Лютик, уходите...
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:03,961 Мы задержим их.
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,350 Видел, Кончстайн?
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,500 - Нет! - Вот чёрт.
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,830 В меня попали.
00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:29,130 Держись. Я вытащу тебя отсюда.
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,760 Помоги эквинитам...
00:17:31,190 --> 00:17:33,170 Я в одиночку задержу солдат.
00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:34,950 Только пообещай мне:
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:39,010 поднимись по званию и уничтожь всю серебряную систему!
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:39,950 Обязательно.
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,180 Беги!
00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:47,350 Я знал, что жалкому Голо ни за что не стать среброкопом.
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,230 Вот чёрт.
00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:50,960 Ай! Ай!
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:53,780 - Хватит! - Ты хватит!
00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,842 Мы на границе территории конюшен.
00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:19,010 Здесь безопасно.
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:26,810 Но тебе нельзя её пересекать.
00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:28,253 Я понимаю, Лютик.
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:29,588 Прощай.
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:40,450 Ни одно приложение: ни Uber доставка, ни хулулемон — не выезжают на наш адрес,
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,740 потому что их роботы исчезают у нас.
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,210 О нет! Он истекает маслом!
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,030 Держись, Джей-кей, не смей умирать.
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,149 Нет, стой.
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,880 Фу! Масло-то амниотическое!
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,920 Он не умирает, он рожает!
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,440 Так. Севенс, тужься на счёт три.
00:18:57,710 --> 00:18:59,700 Раз, два, три!
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:03,010 Тужься, Джей-кей Севенс, тужься, тужься!
00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:05,520 Я вижу его, потужься ещё раз.
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,520 У тебя получится. Тужься!
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,310 Там... ребёнок?
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,570 Нет, это айфон следующего года выпуска!
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,320 Я хочу убрать провод!
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,160 Даже не верится.
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,740 Всё это время Джей-Кея лишь тошнило по утрам.
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,490 Он, наверное, хотел драться,
00:19:24,518 --> 00:19:27,300 потому что из-за беременности зашкаливали гормоны.
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,370 Мы вынесли важный урок:
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:32,670 нельзя доверять врачам, у которых кабинет рядом с кафешкой.
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,220 Прости, Томблр.
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,910 Мне не выбраться с планеты,
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,180 и к среброкопам не проникнуть.
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:47,640 Чарджер!
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:49,880 В костюмах сребро-швалей есть прослушка.
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,020 Мы слышали все твои слова об уничтожении среброкопов.
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,549 Смелости-то сколько.
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:57,140 Думает побороть целую армию.
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,820 Среброкопы, свалите, хрен вам в сребро-жопу!
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:04,990 Он спутал нас с среброкопами.
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:05,600 Нет?
00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:09,450 Златокопы!
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,230 Всё верно.
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,400 Нас создали держать среброкопов в узде.
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,630 Твой друг прав. Они прогнили насквозь.
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:17,760 Пора уничтожить всю серебряную организацию.
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,170 Просите помочь?
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,350 Что скажешь?
00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:24,640 Хватит ли тебе прыти стать... Златокопом?
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,300 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,620 ВОТ ЧЁРТ! ГЛЕН ТЕПЕРЬ ЗЛАТОКОП. О ДА!

00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,170 {\an8}This is it. The final trial.
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,172 {\an8}Oh! Ah...
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,425 {\an8}I didn't think I'd bond with anyone out here.
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,552 {\an8}<i>I'm gonna fix the Silvercops from the inside.</i>
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,887 {\an8}It's bullshit. They won't let us become Silvercops.
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,515 {\an8}Then you tap out!
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183 {\an8}You fucked up, son.
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,309 {\an8}That you did.
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,731 {\an8}Your asses belong to the Silver Army,
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,190 {\an8}you Silvergrunts.
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,561 Listen up, grunts.
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,938 We'll be making planetfall in T-minus three minutes.
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,316 You'll be joining the war against the Scourge,
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,652 an alien race of soulless, ruthless automatons.
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,197 These psychotic fucks are spreading across the galaxy,
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323 {\an8}pillaging resources
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325 {\an8}and enslaving populations.
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,952 Tomblr, th-th-th-this is insane. We have to get outta here.
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330 Don't talk to me, Dodge. You aren't my friend.
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,957 - Don't fuckin' talk to me either. - I wasn't going to.
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,084 I'm not here to make friends,
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,543 and I definitely won't have your back
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,669 when we get into battle.
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,213 All I care about is killing Horseys
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,590 and wearing their balls on a chain around my neck!
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,883 Jesus, Zobert.
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,052 You went from zero to trophy-kill way too fast.
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,637 Lock and load, grunts.
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,806 Just know that I will be with you every step of the...
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,908 Eat shit, you four-legged fucks!
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,501 - Oh, my God. - Run, run, run!
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310 Look, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry for telling you
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,770 to fuck off, like, a minute ago.
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,981 I-I really feel like we-we're gonna become good friends now
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,691 and maybe we'll even share our backstory.
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609 Oh, my God!
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,278 No one can finish a sentence around here!
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,456 {\an8}According to the Norton Antivirus Malware-mometer,
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,083 {\an8}JK Sevens is sick.
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,002 {\an8}As soon as he said "boop" instead of "bwap,"
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,920 {\an8}I knew something was wrong.
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,463 {\an8}Well, let's put him on the curb
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,215 {\an8}and schedule a bulky item pickup.
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,635 {\an8}Should we call Terry and Korvo?
00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,388 {\an8}No. They're seeing <i>Avatar 4: The Na'vi Three Day Weekend</i>
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,848 {\an8}at the AMC Extended Stay.
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974 {\an8}That movie's 72 hours long,
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,392 {\an8}and they made us promise not to interrupt
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977 {\an8}a single Zoë Saldana second.
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,729 {\an8}Well, if they come home and JK's dead,
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,731 {\an8}we'll never get our phones back.
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,650 {\an8}It's so uncool of them to take our phones away
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,653 {\an8}just because we never, ever do anything they tell us to do.
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,950 {\an8}Agh! He's got SD cards and screws comin' out both ends.
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750 My buttholes!
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,543 They blew off all my buttholes!
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,503 We're all just chickens for the choo-choo.
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,588 "Chickens for the choo-choo"?
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,006 Oh, this situation's so FUBAR,
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,674 I can't think of clichés.
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,092 It's horrifying.
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,637 If we can survive long enough, maybe we can escape.
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,096 {\an8}I'm not escaping. We have a mission.
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224 {\an8}We have to defeat the Scourge and free this planet.
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,601 {\an8}Dude, this war is bullshit.
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770 {\an8}Maybe. But if we prove our mettle here,
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063 {\an8}we'll be heroes,
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,814 {\an8}and then they'll have to make us Silvercops.
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:52,899 {\an8}Are you serious?
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,525 {\an8}How could you still want to be a Silvercop
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,028 {\an8}after they shipped us to the ass pit of the universe?
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,364 {\an8}Because I don't quit when things get tough, Dodge.
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,865 {\an8}Though I guess you do!
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492 How long have you had that in your back pocket,
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993 you turkey-lookin' motherfucker?
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,413 Look alive, Silver shits.
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,374 That's the guy from before. That's the guy from training.
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793 - Shut up! Shut up! - I'm the new CO of this unit
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,088 and, yes, my second head was killed in action.
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,132 {\an8}I'm sure he's interjecting something snarky and supportive
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,842 {\an8}from the great beyond.
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,136 {\an8}Okay, enough of that. We got a mission, people.
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,055 {\an8}Our Silver Spies have learned about a secret
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,391 {\an8}Horsey munitions facility.
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,102 We need two volunteers to locate the base,
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688 infiltrate it, and activate this.
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,147 A homing beacon.
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,733 The signal will allow us to precision bomb the base,
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,194 obliterating it without damaging the minerals
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,570 in the surrounding area.
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,322 {\an8}Minerals like Goo Rock,
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407 {\an8}Star Rubies,
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,033 {\an8}and Gatoradium.
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,368 Valuable shit.
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,869 I'm not gonna lie,
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,205 this is a suicide mission.
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,541 But apparently that term is bad for morale,
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001 so we're calling it
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,795 "Super Cool Chill Hero Time" instead.
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,214 Whatever dumbass goes on this has a death wish.
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,882 Sergeant, I'd like to volunteer!
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218 Tomblr! Did you not hear what I just muttered?
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,929 Yeah, but like I said, we have to prove our mettle.
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:09,017 Happy to hear it, Private. Now we just need one more.
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,978 Perhaps a best friend from bootcamp?
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857 Who maybe also looks like a tall dog?
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,568 I think he's talking to you.
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,278 Fine. I'm in, too.
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,782 You're all gonna die and rot in hell!
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,618 Ha! Guess he wasn't as dead as I thought.
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,747 But he's definitely dead now.
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130 Hey hey, great to see the Opposites family again.
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757 I can only assume Korvo died
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051 from the whole turning to goo thing a few years ago.
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720 - Poor bastard. - No, he's alive and totally fine.
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,513 Wow. I was sure he was a goner.
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,099 Please help us, doctor. Our robo is sick.
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,435 Well, I have no idea how to fix robots,
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355 but I did once treat a woman named Alexa for a yeast infection.
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,608 A machine's just a person with no blood, so let's take a look.
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,652 Hmm.
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,279 Nurse, bring in the Samba.
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,448 You have a robot vacuum for the office?
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117 We get to keep whatever we remove from people's butts.
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875 Whoa, that was awesome!
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,001 Just as I suspected.
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586 He's a battle-bot, and he's sick
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,381 because he hasn't been fulfilling his core function of,
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,841 in strict medical terms, kicking robot ass.
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,135 I'm recommending JK start battle-boting
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,345 as soon as possible.
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763 What's this prescription then?
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640 That's not a prescription. It's a gamer tag.
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,017 In case you ever want to get owned in <i>Call of Duty.</i>
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,605 Feel free to turn back anytime.
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,065 I wish I could,
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650 but someone has to keep your ass from getting killed.
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403 I am perfectly capable of killin' my own ass.
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,821 I mean, assing my own kill.
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906 I mean whatever! It doesn't matter!
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,034 Uh, any of you know Lieutenant Zergecchio?
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202 He's supposed to guide us through
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,745 the Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914 Oh, we have a special name for that place.
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124 The Death Gulch.
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,625 'Cause people die there?
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,461 No, because people die there.
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,422 If you want Zergey, he's over there.
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,631 Zergecchio?
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,092 Oh, geez!
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,429 Well, we can't find this base if we don't have a guide.
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,680 Better head back.
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852 C-c-come on, man. That's not back.
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,728 You better be looking for another trench.
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,689 Ugh.
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,865 God, I'm starving. I'd kill for a scrotum leech right now.
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451 Let's take a break. I have to use the little Tomblr's room.
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,910 The little... Ugh.
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,371 Just go. Don't try to make it funny. Just pee.
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,466 I wasn't looking for scrotum leeches.
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,675 What the fuck happened to you?
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,719 Let's... Let's just go.
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,937 Hopefully, JK can get some of the battle-boting
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,271 out of his system here.
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,649 I just don't want these robos to hurt him.
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,276 Okay, JK. Do your thing.
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,585 JK's got his mojo back!
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,089 He was my only friend!
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,300 Come on, dude. What happened back there?
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635 You're all haunted and shit now.
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844 I don't want to talk about it.
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,682 Wow, this must be Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,183 I don't know what those grunts we're talking about.
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,685 I'm not getting death vibes at all.
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061 Get down!
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,106 There's a Horsey sniper on the outcropping up ahead.
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,899 Yeah. And that sniper's got a gun!
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,442 I'm Tomblr. This is Charger.
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,403 On a special mission from Silver HQ.
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405 Name's Gex. This here's Quigonowski.
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489 And you're not going anywhere
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,074 with that Horsey scumbitch out there.
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410 I can see the sniper.
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703 He's on the high ridge.
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,871 Now he's lookin' right at us.
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,707 Now he's pulling the trigger.
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,750 Now the bullets are coming this way. Oh, shit!
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,502 If you guys cover me,
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,588 I can sneak up to the perch and take him out.
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,173 But you'll get shot! The sniper, to remind you, has a gun!
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,301 Don't worry. I've been specially trained
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,094 in the latest sneaking techniques.
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,555 Somersaults, baby crawls, tippy toes.
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,223 I've heard of tippy toes before.
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,474 Supposed to really be something.
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,268 I also have a fiancée back home,
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,103 and she's pregnant with twins.
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,689 Ah! I'm hit!
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190 - We gotta save her! - No!
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817 You go out there and you're dead too.
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,527 Ah! He got me in the head.
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,613 Now he got my shoulders!
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615 And my toes!
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,452 I've been shot in the head, shoulders, knees, and toes!
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038 Fuck you, you Horsey motherclomper!
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,749 Fuck you and your gorgeous, shiny mane!
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,423 Hmm. I have an idea.
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,016 Yeah!
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,352 He had blinders on. Never saw us comin'.
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062 In hindsight, not a smart move.
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,563 Also, inside sight.
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,232 Ah, shit. What's that?
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,525 It's Horsey patrol.
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,069 They must have heard the explosion.
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,036 Why'd they stop?
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,001 We must be in a minefield.
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,382 Shit, shit, shit! I'm gonna die!
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,425 I'm so scared, I'm pissing myself.
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,510 It's gonna be okay. Relax.
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928 I saw this exact same thing happen
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,888 in George Clooney's best movie, <i>The Monuments Men</i>.
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973 We just have to find something of equal weight
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,225 and then we switch you out with it,
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,810 <i>Raiders of the Lost Ark</i> style.
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,770 On the count of three, I'm gonna pull you off
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,146 just like they did in <i>Lethal Weapon.</i>
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,649 I don't understand any of the references you're making!
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733 On three.
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,277 One... two, three!
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,074 Wow, it worked!
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,909 I, uh, I didn't piss myself,
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452 by the way. That, that was a joke.
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,205 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Run!
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,965 So glad we cured JK Sevens and
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091 won a $25
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426 Cracker Barrel gift card.
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845 That's country fried pancakes for everyone.
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805 Hell yeah. Hulu's HuluLulu,
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,349 play Yumyulack's "Yumyu Mix" to celebrate.
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,647 Oh, geez.
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,525 I guess JK still has an appetite for robo destruction.
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,735 That's no big deal.
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,653 We can toss him a few more electronics
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,071 to get it out of his system.
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,953 Holy Jennifer Jason Lopez, that was it!
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,997 JK destroyed every gadget in the house.
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,166 Terry's Vitamix actually put up a decent fight.
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,419 What happens when we run out of stuff for him to kill?
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,214 I think Terry keeps a Hitachi Wand
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,299 in the earthquake supplies.
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633 Get it!
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,596 Where? Where am I?
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,190 Stay back. Don't take another clop!
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,775 Relax, T, it's okay.
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,526 There are Horseys everywhere!
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111 I know. They rescued us.
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,404 This is that secret base,
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,156 but it's not a munitions facility.
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,240 That's right, Tomblr.
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,327 You're safe here.
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578 Who are you?
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205 I didn't know Horseys could speak standard.
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,832 "Horsey" is a derogatory slur.
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,292 We are the Equinites.
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,877 My name is Buttercup.
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,796 I'm the leader of the resistance.
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,005 Oh, please.
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,507 You're the scourge on this world!
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,594 Come. It's time to remove your blinders and see the truth.
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,475 There are no soldiers here.
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,727 Just families, refugees.
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,479 This is a sanctuary
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,481 for those who've been driven from their homes.
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,275 But you were the ones who invaded this planet.
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,152 The Silvercops are the ones who came here
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071 to steal our natural resources.
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,240 Easy to take when you exterminate the locals
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866 and label them a scourge.
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,244 But that's the total opposite of what we were told.
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,330 Wait, does the military lie about its motives?
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,625 I suggest you rest and help yourself to our finest feedbags.
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,212 We are a peaceful people, and you are our guests.
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,511 <i>Today is my first day delivering food for Grub Bud.</i>
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,804 {\an8}<i>I am so excited.</i>
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,516 {\an8}Hey there, robo pal. Why don't you come on inside?
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,102 <i>I am not supposed to enter homes.</i>
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645 {\an8}No, it's fine.
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,314 {\an8}We just wanna give you a tip.
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,859 {\an8}Come on in. Don't be afraid.
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,029 <i>What are you doing?</i>
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,406 Sorry, little guy.
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,578 <i>No, wait, please.</i>
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165 <i>Ow, that's my wheel. Ow.</i>
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,584 {\an8}You got the Pad See Ew, right?
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544 {\an8}Yeah. And the papaya salad too.
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,171 Mm.
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,632 Damn, these oats are the shit.
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,259 Oh, I can't believe it.
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636 The war, our mission, it's all a lie.
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,389 How could I be such a dumb sucker?
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,266 I mean, I tried to tell you multiple times.
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,226 I mean, I've become the very thing that terrified me
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061 about the Silvercops when I was a kid.
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,147 A stupid, violent occupier.
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,356 Pretty ironic, huh?
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,775 You've always been totally honest with me,
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,152 and I should have trusted you.
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820 Oh, I'm such an idiot.
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,489 I'm not who you think I am.
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617 I'm actually a human from the planet Earth
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,202 who loves the <i>Fast and Furious</i> franchise and was shot into space.
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,787 <i>Some Silvercops framed me for murder</i>
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,080 <i>and they were going to kill me,</i>
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,624 <i>but I escaped and changed my appearance</i>
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,125 <i>so I could enlist in Silver Bootcamp.</i>
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,461 <i>My plan has always been to work my way up the ranks</i>
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338 so I could get close to the Silvers who betrayed me
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,547 and take my revenge.
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,049 My name isn't even Dodge.
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342 It's Glen Kumstein.
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,135 Glen Kum-steen?
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,595 No. What are you, reading it off a page?
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,096 I just said it now. Kumstein.
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,306 Let's get outta here, man.
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350 Let's leave this planet and start new lives
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,769 that are not defined by getting revenge on the Silvercops.
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,188 - First, we destroy this homing beacon. - Tomblr, no!
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,358 Die! Die! Die! What?
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,485 Destroying that automatically signaled Silver HQ
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,278 to send a strike team to these coordinates.
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113 I read the manual when I was taking a shit!
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,115 Oh, my stars and Marys, we gotta go!
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,826 Silvergrunts are on the way.
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,662 We have to get your people out now.
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163 I'll herd everyone toward the main entrance.
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,748 No! That's where they'll be coming.
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,999 Is there another way out?
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,084 There used to be.
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,920 It collapsed during a bombing strike last winter.
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,171 What are we gonna do?
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,756 Back on Earth, my Honda S2000
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,758 had about 250 horsepower.
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:08,968 But with all the Equinites here,
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302 we have at least double that.
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,720 What are you suggesting?
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722 Let's yank off these rocks!
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983 Kill everything that trots.
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,449 Yah! Yah!
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,284 Yah!
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,661 It's too heavy.
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,204 You can do it. Yah!
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,873 It's hard enough without you yelling, "Yah."
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,250 Shit, sorry.
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544 God, I bet the optics on this are terrible too.
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,087 Pull!
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,721 It's open!
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,395 The Silvers are here!
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479 Buttercup, keep going.
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,856 We'll buy you some time.
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958 - You see that, Kumstein? - Oh!
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501 - No! - Oh, shit.
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,837 Oh, they zapped me.
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,131 H-h-hold on. I-I can get you outta here.
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758 Help the Equinites to safety.
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,469 I'll hold off the grunts by myself.
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,095 Just make me one promise.
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,139 Rise up the ranks and take down
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,224 the entire Silver system.
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,185 - I'll do it. - Go!
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,898 I knew a filthy holo like you
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357 could never be a Silvercop.
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,568 Oh, shit!
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071 Ow! Ow! Ah!
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,781 - Quit it. - You quit it!
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,971 This is the border of Stable Territory.
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,098 We should be safe here.
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,814 But you can proceed no further.
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357 I understand, Buttercup.
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,525 Goodbye.
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,949 None of the apps,
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,951 {\an8}not Postmates, UberEats, or even HuluLemon
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,369 will deliver to us anymore
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,746 because their robots keep disappearing at our house.
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125 Oh, no! He's gushing oil!
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,960 Hang in there, JK. Don't die on us.
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,461 No, wait.
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880 Ew! This oil is amniotic.
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,924 He's not dying, he's giving birth!
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,511 Okay, Sevens. You're gonna push on three.
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,471 One, two, three!
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,016 Push, JK Sevens! Push! Push!
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,519 Ah! I can see it. Just one more big push, JK.
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,604 You got this! One more!
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316 Is... Is it a baby?
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,570 No, it's next year's EyePhone!
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321 Oh, I wanna cut the cord!
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,242 I can't believe it.
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,744 All this time, JK just had morning sickness.
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,496 He must have only wanted to battle-bot
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,499 because he was so hormonal from his pregnancy.
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376 Well, we've learned a valuable lesson.
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,170 Never trust a doctor who shares an office
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,671 with Hometown Buffet.
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,219 I'm sorry, Tomblr.
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,096 I don't think I'm ever getting off this planet,
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,182 much less infiltrating the Silvercops again.
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,728 Charger!
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,730 Every Silvergrunt suit has a recording device.
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,899 We heard everything you said
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,026 about taking down the Silvercops.
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,987 The balls on this guy. Thinks he's a one-man army.
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,947 You Silvercops can go fuck yourselves
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,824 in your stinking Silver asses!
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,661 He thinks we're Silvercops.
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,746 You're not?
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,458 Goldcops.
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,252 That's right. We were created to keep the Silvercops in line.
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,420 Your friend was spot on.
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755 They're rotten to the core.
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,841 The entire Silver organization has to go down.
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,384 And you want my help?
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,636 What do you say?
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,679 Do you have what it takes to be...
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,640 a Goldcop?

00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,293 [♪ energetic rock music playing]
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,170 {\an8}This is it. The final trial.
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,172 {\an8}Oh! Ah...
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,425 {\an8}I didn't think I'd bond with anyone out here.
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,552 {\an8}<i>I'm gonna fix the Silvercops from the inside.</i>
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,887 {\an8}It's bullshit. They won't let us become Silvercops.
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,515 {\an8}- Then you tap out! - [body whacking]
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183 {\an8}- [Terry screaming] - You fucked up, son.
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,309 {\an8}That you did.
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,731 {\an8}Your asses belong to the Silver Army,
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,190 {\an8}you Silvergrunts.
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,239 [♪ adventurous orchestral music playing]
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:52,844 {\an8}[♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:59,309 - [lasers blasting] - [explosions booming]
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,561 Listen up, grunts.
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,938 We'll be making planetfall in T-minus three minutes.
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,316 You'll be joining the war against the Scourge,
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,652 an alien race of soulless, ruthless automatons.
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,197 These psychotic fucks are spreading across the galaxy,
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323 {\an8}pillaging resources
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325 {\an8}and enslaving populations.
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,952 Tomblr, th-th-th-this is insane. We have to get outta here.
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330 Don't talk to me, Dodge. You aren't my friend.
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,957 - Don't fuckin' talk to me either. - I wasn't going to.
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,084 I'm not here to make friends,
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,543 and I definitely won't have your back
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,669 when we get into battle.
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,213 All I care about is killing Horseys
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,590 and wearing their balls on a chain around my neck!
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,883 Jesus, Zobert.
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,052 You went from zero to trophy-kill way too fast.
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,637 Lock and load, grunts.
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,806 Just know that I will be with you every step of the...
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,475 - [explosion booms] - [all scream]
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,605 [ship crashes]
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,108 [high-pitched ringing]
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,908 Eat shit, you four-legged fucks!
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,701 - [screams] - [horses neighing]
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,121 [♪ dramatic music playing]
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,501 - Oh, my God. - Run, run, run!
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,587 - [all panting] - [explosions booming]
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:10,880 [horse whinnies]
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,426 [♪ dramatic music continues]
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,678 [horse whinnies]
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,932 - [horse whinnies] - [laser blasts]
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310 Look, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry for telling you
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,770 to fuck off, like, a minute ago.
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,981 I-I really feel like we-we're gonna become good friends now
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,691 and maybe we'll even share our backstory.
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609 - [head explodes] - Oh, my God!
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,278 No one can finish a sentence around here!
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,031 [bodies squish]
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,033 [♪ bright music playing]
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,327 {\an8}[JK Sevens beeps]
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,456 {\an8}According to the Norton Antivirus Malware-mometer,
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,083 {\an8}JK Sevens is sick.
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,002 {\an8}As soon as he said "boop" instead of "bwap,"
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,920 {\an8}I knew something was wrong.
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,463 {\an8}Well, let's put him on the curb
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,215 {\an8}and schedule a bulky item pickup.
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,466 {\an8}[Pupa groans]
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,635 {\an8}Should we call Terry and Korvo?
00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,388 {\an8}No. They're seeing <i>Avatar 4: The Na'vi Three Day Weekend</i>
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,848 {\an8}at the AMC Extended Stay.
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974 {\an8}That movie's 72 hours long,
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,392 {\an8}and they made us promise not to interrupt
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977 {\an8}a single Zoë Saldana second.
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,729 {\an8}Well, if they come home and JK's dead,
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,731 {\an8}we'll never get our phones back.
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,650 {\an8}It's so uncool of them to take our phones away
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,653 {\an8}just because we never, ever do anything they tell us to do.
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,655 {\an8}- [JK Sevens belches] - [all yelp]
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,950 {\an8}Agh! He's got SD cards and screws comin' out both ends.
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,160 {\an8}[belches]
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750 [screaming] My buttholes!
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,543 They blew off all my buttholes!
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,503 We're all just chickens for the choo-choo.
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,588 "Chickens for the choo-choo"?
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,006 Oh, this situation's so FUBAR,
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,674 I can't think of clichés.
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,092 It's horrifying.
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,637 If we can survive long enough, maybe we can escape.
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,096 {\an8}I'm not escaping. We have a mission.
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224 {\an8}We have to defeat the Scourge and free this planet.
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,601 {\an8}Dude, this war is bullshit.
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770 {\an8}Maybe. But if we prove our mettle here,
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063 {\an8}we'll be heroes,
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,814 {\an8}and then they'll have to make us Silvercops.
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:52,899 {\an8}Are you serious?
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,525 {\an8}How could you still want to be a Silvercop
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,028 {\an8}after they shipped us to the ass pit of the universe?
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,364 {\an8}Because I don't quit when things get tough, Dodge.
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,865 {\an8}Though I guess you do!
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492 How long have you had that in your back pocket,
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993 you turkey-lookin' motherfucker?
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,413 Look alive, Silver shits.
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,374 That's the guy from before. That's the guy from training.
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793 - Shut up! Shut up! - I'm the new CO of this unit
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,088 and, yes, my second head was killed in action.
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,132 {\an8}I'm sure he's interjecting something snarky and supportive
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,842 {\an8}from the great beyond.
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,136 {\an8}Okay, enough of that. We got a mission, people.
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,055 {\an8}Our Silver Spies have learned about a secret
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,391 {\an8}Horsey munitions facility.
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,102 We need two volunteers to locate the base,
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688 infiltrate it, and activate this.
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,147 A homing beacon.
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,733 The signal will allow us to precision bomb the base,
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,194 obliterating it without damaging the minerals
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,570 in the surrounding area.
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,322 {\an8}Minerals like Goo Rock,
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407 {\an8}Star Rubies,
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,033 {\an8}and Gatoradium.
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,368 Valuable shit.
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,869 I'm not gonna lie,
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,205 this is a suicide mission.
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,541 But apparently that term is bad for morale,
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001 so we're calling it
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,795 "Super Cool Chill Hero Time" instead.
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,214 Whatever dumbass goes on this has a death wish.
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,882 Sergeant, I'd like to volunteer!
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218 Tomblr! Did you not hear what I just muttered?
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,929 Yeah, but like I said, we have to prove our mettle.
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:09,017 Happy to hear it, Private. Now we just need one more.
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,978 Perhaps a best friend from bootcamp?
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857 Who maybe also looks like a tall dog?
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,568 I think he's talking to you.
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,278 Fine. I'm in, too.
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,782 You're all gonna die and rot in hell! [screams]
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,618 Ha! Guess he wasn't as dead as I thought.
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,747 But he's definitely dead now.
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130 Hey hey, great to see the Opposites family again.
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757 I can only assume Korvo died
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051 from the whole turning to goo thing a few years ago.
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720 - Poor bastard. - No, he's alive and totally fine.
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,513 Wow. I was sure he was a goner.
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,099 Please help us, doctor. Our robo is sick.
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,435 Well, I have no idea how to fix robots,
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355 but I did once treat a woman named Alexa for a yeast infection.
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,608 A machine's just a person with no blood, so let's take a look.
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,318 [clanking]
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,652 - [JK Sevens farts] - Hmm.
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,279 Nurse, bring in the Samba.
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,448 You have a robot vacuum for the office?
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117 We get to keep whatever we remove from people's butts.
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,620 - [vacuum whirs] - [JK Sevens beeping]
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,081 [drill whirs]
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875 Whoa, that was awesome!
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,001 Just as I suspected.
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586 He's a battle-bot, and he's sick
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,381 because he hasn't been fulfilling his core function of,
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,841 in strict medical terms, kicking robot ass.
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,135 I'm recommending JK start battle-boting
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,345 as soon as possible.
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763 What's this prescription then?
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640 That's not a prescription. It's a gamer tag.
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,017 In case you ever want to get owned in <i>Call of Duty.</i>
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,478 - [lasers blasting] - [explosions booming]
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,605 Feel free to turn back anytime.
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,065 I wish I could,
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650 but someone has to keep your ass from getting killed.
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403 I am perfectly capable of killin' my own ass.
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,821 I mean, assing my own kill.
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906 I mean whatever! It doesn't matter!
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,034 Uh, any of you know Lieutenant Zergecchio?
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202 He's supposed to guide us through
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,745 the Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914 Oh, we have a special name for that place.
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124 The Death Gulch.
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,625 'Cause people die there?
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,461 No, because people die there.
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,422 If you want Zergey, he's over there.
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,631 Zergecchio?
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,092 - [♪ dramatic music playing] - Oh, geez!
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,635 [Tomblr dry heaving]
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,429 Well, we can't find this base if we don't have a guide.
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,680 Better head back.
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852 C-c-come on, man. That's not back.
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,728 You better be looking for another trench.
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,689 Ugh.
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,865 God, I'm starving. I'd kill for a scrotum leech right now.
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451 Let's take a break. I have to use the little Tomblr's room.
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,910 The little... Ugh.
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,371 Just go. Don't try to make it funny. Just pee.
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,713 - [zipper buzzes] - [urine trickling]
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,340 - [sighs] - [urine spouting]
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,760 [♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,887 [horse snorts]
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,848 [♪ tense music playing]
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,725 [horse whinnies]
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,059 [Tomblr grunts]
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,311 [punches thudding]
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,440 [hooves thudding]
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,276 - [Tomblr panting] - [horse whinnies]
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,743 - [Tomblr yells] - [horse whinnies]
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,211 [Tomblr whimpers]
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,466 I wasn't looking for scrotum leeches.
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,675 What the fuck happened to you?
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,719 Let's... Let's just go.
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,266 {\an8}[birds chirping]
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,937 Hopefully, JK can get some of the battle-boting
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,271 out of his system here.
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,649 I just don't want these robos to hurt him.
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,276 Okay, JK. Do your thing.
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,820 [JK Sevens beeping excitedly]
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,906 [♪ exciting music playing]
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,875 [JK Sevens beeping]
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,585 JK's got his mojo back!
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,089 [sobs] He was my only friend!
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,300 Come on, dude. What happened back there?
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635 You're all haunted and shit now.
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844 I don't want to talk about it.
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,682 [Dodge] Wow, this must be Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,183 I don't know what those grunts we're talking about.
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,685 I'm not getting death vibes at all.
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061 - [laser blasts] - Get down!
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,106 There's a Horsey sniper on the outcropping up ahead.
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,899 Yeah. And that sniper's got a gun!
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,442 I'm Tomblr. This is Charger.
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,403 On a special mission from Silver HQ.
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405 Name's Gex. This here's Quigonowski.
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489 And you're not going anywhere
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,074 with that Horsey scumbitch out there.
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410 I can see the sniper.
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703 He's on the high ridge.
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,871 Now he's lookin' right at us.
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,707 - Now he's pulling the trigger. - [laser blasts]
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,750 Now the bullets are coming this way. Oh, shit!
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,502 If you guys cover me,
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,588 I can sneak up to the perch and take him out.
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,173 But you'll get shot! The sniper, to remind you, has a gun!
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,301 Don't worry. I've been specially trained
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,094 in the latest sneaking techniques.
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,555 Somersaults, baby crawls, tippy toes.
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,223 I've heard of tippy toes before.
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,474 Supposed to really be something.
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,268 I also have a fiancée back home,
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,103 and she's pregnant with twins.
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,689 - [laser blasts] - Ah! I'm hit!
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190 - We gotta save her! - No!
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817 You go out there and you're dead too.
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,527 - [laser blasts] - [Quigonowski] Ah! He got me in the head.
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,613 - [laser blasts] - Now he got my shoulders!
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615 - [laser blasts] - And my toes!
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,452 I've been shot in the head, shoulders, knees, and toes!
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038 Fuck you, you Horsey motherclomper!
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,749 Fuck you and your gorgeous, shiny mane!
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,423 Hmm. I have an idea.
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,802 [horse grunts]
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,347 - [grenade beeping] - [horse nickers]
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,806 [explosion booms]
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,016 - [all cheer] - Yeah!
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,352 He had blinders on. Never saw us comin'.
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062 In hindsight, not a smart move.
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,563 Also, inside sight. [chuckles]
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,648 [horses neighing]
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,232 Ah, shit. What's that?
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,525 It's Horsey patrol.
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,069 They must have heard the explosion.
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,657 [all panting]
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,660 [horse neighs]
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,036 Why'd they stop?
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,749 - [landmine beeps] - [Gex yelps]
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,001 - [Tomblr gasps] - We must be in a minefield.
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,545 [landmine beeps]
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,382 Shit, shit, shit! I'm gonna die!
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,425 I'm so scared, I'm pissing myself.
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,510 It's gonna be okay. Relax.
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928 I saw this exact same thing happen
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,888 in George Clooney's best movie, <i>The Monuments Men</i>.
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973 We just have to find something of equal weight
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,225 and then we switch you out with it,
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,810 <i>Raiders of the Lost Ark</i> style.
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,770 On the count of three, I'm gonna pull you off
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,146 just like they did in <i>Lethal Weapon.</i>
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,649 I don't understand any of the references you're making!
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733 On three.
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,277 One... two, three!
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,074 Wow, it worked! [laughs]
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,909 I, uh, I didn't piss myself,
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452 by the way. That, that was a joke.
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,578 - [object thuds] - [landmine beeping]
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,205 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Run!
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,333 - [both screaming] - [explosions booming]
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,965 So glad we cured JK Sevens and
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091 won a $25
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426 Cracker Barrel gift card.
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845 That's country fried pancakes for everyone.
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805 Hell yeah. Hulu's HuluLulu,
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,349 play Yumyulack's "Yumyu Mix" to celebrate.
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,143 [♪ dance music playing]
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,271 [device thudding]
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,647 Oh, geez.
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,525 I guess JK still has an appetite for robo destruction.
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,735 That's no big deal.
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,653 We can toss him a few more electronics
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,071 to get it out of his system.
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,782 [saw whirring]
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,953 Holy Jennifer Jason Lopez, that was it!
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,997 JK destroyed every gadget in the house.
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,166 Terry's Vitamix actually put up a decent fight.
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,419 What happens when we run out of stuff for him to kill?
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,713 - [JK Sevens beeping and buzzing] - [all gasp]
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,214 I think Terry keeps a Hitachi Wand
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,299 in the earthquake supplies.
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633 Get it!
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,596 Where? Where am I?
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,930 [horse snorting]
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,475 [horse whinnies]
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,270 [Tomblr screams and whimpers]
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,190 Stay back. Don't take another clop!
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,775 Relax, T, it's okay.
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,526 There are Horseys everywhere!
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111 I know. They rescued us.
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,404 This is that secret base,
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,156 but it's not a munitions facility.
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,240 [Horsey] That's right, Tomblr.
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,327 You're safe here.
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578 Who are you?
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205 I didn't know Horseys could speak standard.
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,832 "Horsey" is a derogatory slur.
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,292 We are the Equinites.
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,877 My name is Buttercup.
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,796 I'm the leader of the resistance.
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,005 Oh, please.
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,507 You're the scourge on this world!
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,594 Come. It's time to remove your blinders and see the truth.
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,680 [♪ gentle music playing]
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,475 [Buttercup] There are no soldiers here.
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,727 Just families, refugees.
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,479 This is a sanctuary
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,481 for those who've been driven from their homes.
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,275 But you were the ones who invaded this planet.
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,152 The Silvercops are the ones who came here
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071 to steal our natural resources.
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,240 Easy to take when you exterminate the locals
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866 and label them a scourge.
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,244 But that's the total opposite of what we were told.
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,330 Wait, does the military lie about its motives?
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,625 I suggest you rest and help yourself to our finest feedbags.
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,212 We are a peaceful people, and you are our guests.
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,511 {\an8}[robot] <i>Today is my first day delivering food for Grub Bud.</i>
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,804 {\an8}<i>I am so excited.</i>
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,516 {\an8}Hey there, robo pal. Why don't you come on inside?
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,102 {\an8}[robot] <i>I am not supposed to enter homes.</i>
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645 {\an8}No, it's fine.
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,314 {\an8}We just wanna give you a tip.
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,859 {\an8}Come on in. Don't be afraid.
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,570 [♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,029 [robot] <i>What are you doing?</i>
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,406 Sorry, little guy.
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,450 [♪ sinister music playing]
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,578 [robot] <i>No, wait, please.</i>
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,497 - [screams] - [metal clanging]
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165 [robot] <i>Ow, that's my wheel. Ow.</i>
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,584 {\an8}You got the Pad See Ew, right?
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544 {\an8}Yeah. And the papaya salad too.
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,171 [Dodge] Mm.
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,632 Damn, these oats are the shit.
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,259 Oh, I can't believe it.
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636 The war, our mission, it's all a lie.
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,389 How could I be such a dumb sucker?
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,266 I mean, I tried to tell you multiple times.
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,226 I mean, I've become the very thing that terrified me
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061 about the Silvercops when I was a kid.
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,147 A stupid, violent occupier.
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,356 Pretty ironic, huh?
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,775 You've always been totally honest with me,
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,152 and I should have trusted you.
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820 Oh, I'm such an idiot.
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,489 [sighs] I'm not who you think I am.
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617 I'm actually a human from the planet Earth
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,202 who loves the <i>Fast and Furious</i> franchise and was shot into space.
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,787 <i>Some Silvercops framed me for murder</i>
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,080 <i>and they were going to kill me,</i>
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,624 <i>but I escaped and changed my appearance</i>
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,125 <i>so I could enlist in Silver Bootcamp.</i>
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,461 <i>My plan has always been to work my way up the ranks</i>
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338 so I could get close to the Silvers who betrayed me
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,547 and take my revenge.
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,049 My name isn't even Dodge.
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342 It's Glen Kumstein.
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,135 Glen Kum-steen?
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,595 No. What are you, reading it off a page?
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,096 I just said it now. Kumstein.
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,306 Let's get outta here, man.
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350 Let's leave this planet and start new lives
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,769 that are not defined by getting revenge on the Silvercops.
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,188 - First, we destroy this homing beacon. - Tomblr, no!
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,358 Die! Die! Die! What?
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,485 Destroying that automatically signaled Silver HQ
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,278 to send a strike team to these coordinates.
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113 I read the manual when I was taking a shit!
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,115 Oh, my stars and Marys, we gotta go!
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,742 [Tomblr panting]
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,826 Silvergrunts are on the way.
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,662 We have to get your people out now.
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163 I'll herd everyone toward the main entrance.
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,748 No! That's where they'll be coming.
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,999 Is there another way out?
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,084 There used to be.
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,920 It collapsed during a bombing strike last winter.
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,171 What are we gonna do?
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,756 Back on Earth, my Honda S2000
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,758 had about 250 horsepower.
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:08,968 But with all the Equinites here,
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302 we have at least double that.
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,720 What are you suggesting?
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722 Let's yank off these rocks!
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,141 [horses whinny]
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:21,563 [♪ dramatic music continues]
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983 Kill everything that trots.
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,197 - Yah! Yah! - [horses whinny]
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,449 Yah! Yah!
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,284 Yah!
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,661 It's too heavy.
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,204 You can do it. Yah!
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,873 It's hard enough without you yelling, "Yah."
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,250 Shit, sorry.
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544 God, I bet the optics on this are terrible too.
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,087 - Pull! - [horse whinnying]
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,674 [horse grunts]
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,721 It's open!
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,016 [timer beeping]
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,893 - [explosion booms] - [ground rumbling]
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,395 The Silvers are here!
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479 Buttercup, keep going.
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,856 We'll buy you some time.
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,483 [♪ dramatic music playing]
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,782 - [lasers blasting] - [soldier screams]
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958 - You see that, Kumstein? - Oh!
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501 - No! - Oh, shit.
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,837 Oh, they zapped me.
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,131 H-h-hold on. I-I can get you outta here.
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758 Help the Equinites to safety.
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,469 I'll hold off the grunts by myself.
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,095 Just make me one promise.
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,139 Rise up the ranks and take down
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,224 the entire Silver system.
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,185 - I'll do it. - Go!
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,812 [Sgt. Argent cackling]
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,898 I knew a filthy holo like you
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357 could never be a Silvercop.
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,568 - [timer beeping] - Oh, shit!
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071 Ow! Ow! Ah!
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,781 - Quit it. - You quit it!
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,240 [timer beeping accelerates]
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,493 - [explosion booms] - [ground rumbling]
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,914 [rocks thudding]
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,252 [Dodge grunting]
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,838 [♪ solemn music playing]
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,971 This is the border of Stable Territory.
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,098 We should be safe here.
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,228 [horse whinnies]
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,814 But you can proceed no further.
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357 I understand, Buttercup.
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,525 Goodbye.
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,860 [♪ solemn music continues]
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,949 {\an8}[Yumyulack] None of the apps,
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,951 {\an8}not Postmates, UberEats, or even HuluLemon
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,369 will deliver to us anymore
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,746 because their robots keep disappearing at our house.
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125 Oh, no! He's gushing oil!
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,960 Hang in there, JK. Don't die on us.
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,461 No, wait.
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880 Ew! This oil is amniotic.
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,924 He's not dying, he's giving birth!
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,175 [beeping]
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,511 Okay, Sevens. You're gonna push on three.
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,471 One, two, three!
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,016 [all] Push, JK Sevens! Push! Push!
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,519 Ah! I can see it. Just one more big push, JK.
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,604 You got this! One more!
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,314 [object splats]
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316 Is... Is it a baby?
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,570 No, it's next year's EyePhone!
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321 Oh, I wanna cut the cord!
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,949 [chiming]
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,242 I can't believe it.
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,744 All this time, JK just had morning sickness.
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,496 He must have only wanted to battle-bot
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,499 because he was so hormonal from his pregnancy.
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376 Well, we've learned a valuable lesson.
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,170 Never trust a doctor who shares an office
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,671 with Hometown Buffet.
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,173 [JK Sevens beeps]
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,718 [Dodge sighs]
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,219 I'm sorry, Tomblr.
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,096 I don't think I'm ever getting off this planet,
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,182 much less infiltrating the Silvercops again.
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,850 [sighs]
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,728 [soldier] Charger!
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,730 Every Silvergrunt suit has a recording device.
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,899 We heard everything you said
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,026 about taking down the Silvercops.
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,987 The balls on this guy. Thinks he's a one-man army.
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,947 You Silvercops can go fuck yourselves
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,824 in your stinking Silver asses!
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,826 [cops laugh]
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,661 He thinks we're Silvercops.
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,746 You're not?
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,458 [gasps] Goldcops.
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,252 That's right. We were created to keep the Silvercops in line.
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,420 Your friend was spot on.
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755 They're rotten to the core.
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,841 The entire Silver organization has to go down.
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,384 And you want my help?
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,636 What do you say?
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,679 Do you have what it takes to be...
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,640 a Goldcop?
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,184 [♪ energetic rock music playing]
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,653 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,529 [mimicking laser fire]

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