Битва за Заб 9
Описание
Робот-компаньон заболел. Юмьюлак и Джесси отводят его к врачу. Доктор сообщает, что этот робот, похоже, имеет боевую программу и плохо себя чувствует из-за того, что не сражается с другими роботами. Репликанты подыскивают ему соперников. Космические копы отправляют Глена на планету Заб 9, где используют в качестве пушечного мяса в войне с лошадями. Глен теряет на войне своего друга.
Субтитры
rus__Rus.srt
rus__Rus.srt
00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:04,400
Пришло время последнего испытания.
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:08,420
Я не думал, что с кем-то подружусь здесь.
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,660
Я исправлю среброкопов изнутри.
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,064
Это всё — херня! Нам не дадут стать среброкопами.
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,120
Тогда ты и выходи!
00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:18,400
- Конец тебе, сынок.
- Твоя вина.
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:24,190
С этого момента вы принадлежите
среброармии, сребромясо.
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,901
СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ
СРЕБРОКОПЫ
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:54,400
ЗАБ 9
ПЕРЕДОВАЯ ВОЙНЫ С ИГОМ
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,390
Слушайте сюда.
00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:03,930
Мы приземлимся на планету через три минуты.
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:06,310
Вы вступите в бой против Ига,
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:09,650
инопланетной расы бездушных жестоких роботов.
00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:12,385
Эти психованные твари
разлетелись по всей галактике.
00:01:12,427 --> 00:01:15,376
Они присваивают запасы
и делают из жителей планет рабов.
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:18,080
Томблр, сдуреть можно. Надо выбираться отсюда.
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,330
Не говори со мной, мы не друзья.
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,950
- И со мной не болтай.
- Я и не думал.
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:26,670
Я пришёл не друзей заводить,
и уж точно не стану прикрывать твою спину.
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:30,730
Я лишь хочу убивать лошадей
и носить их яйца как бусы на шее.
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,840
Срань господня.
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,110
Быстро ты переключился к военным трофеям.
00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:35,630
Оружие к бою.
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,930
Знайте, я буду рядом с вами на каж...
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,960
Подавитесь, парнокопытные мрази!
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,620
- Охренеть!
- Бежим, бежим, бежим!
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:25,710
Слышь, чел, прости.
Прости, что недавно просил отвалить.
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,800
Я думаю, мы с тобой станем хорошими друзьями,
даже расскажем друг другу о себе.
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,610
Охренеть!
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,270
Даже договорить не дают.
00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:42,350
ОШИБКА
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:47,190
Судя по нортоновскому антивирус-мометру,
Джей-кей Севенс заболел.
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:50,920
Как только он сказал «буп», а не «бвап»,
я сразу заподозрил неладное.
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:54,210
Вынесем, и закажем вывоз
крупногабаритного мусора.
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,630
Может, позвонить Терри и Корво?
00:02:57,770 --> 00:03:01,940
Не, они смотрят четвёртого аватара
«Трёхдневные выходные Нави».
00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:06,080
Фильм идёт 72 часа, и они просили
не отвлекать их ни на секунду от Зои Салданы.
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:10,086
А если Джей-Кей умрёт до их возвращения,
они ни за что не вернут нам телефоны.
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:13,591
Вообще не круто, что они
забрали наши телефоны только потому,
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,780
что мы с тобой никогда их не слушаемся.
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,950
Фу, карты памяти
и болтики лезут из всех отверстий.
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,760
БАЗА СРЕБРОСОЛДАТ
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:30,540
Мои анусы! Мне оторвало все анусы!
00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:32,500
Для них мы цыплята на цак-цак.
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,580
«Цыплята на цак-цак?»
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,670
Ситуация настолько патовая,
что даже метафор в голове нет.
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,090
Так ужасно.
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:40,630
Продержимся подольше, и, может, сможем сбежать.
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,350
Я не сбегу. Мы на задании.
Нужно одолеть Иго и освободить планету.
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,600
Чел, эта война — полная хрень.
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,457
Может.
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,040
Но если мы покажем себя здесь,
то станем героями.
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,940
Тогда нас возьмут в среброкопы.
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,770
Серьёзно?
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:54,630
Всё ещё хочешь стать среброкопом?
00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:57,070
Нас же отослали в жопу вселенной.
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,330
Я не сдаюсь перед лицом трудностей.
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,900
В отличии от тебя!
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,990
И давно у тебя такие мысли, индюк ты напыщенный?
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,410
Встряхнитесь, сребро-уроды!
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,320
Мы его знаем. Он нас тренировал.
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,000
Заткнись!
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:15,170
Я новый командир вашего отряда,
и да, моя вторая голова погибла в бою.
00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:19,840
Он по-любому сейчас добавляет свои колкие,
поддерживающие комментарии с того света.
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,130
Ну всё, хватит. У нас есть задание...
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:26,480
Сребро-шпионы узнали
о тайном лошадином объекте с боеприпасами.
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,730
Нам нужно два волонтёра для поиска базы,
проникновения на базу и активации маячка.
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:32,890
Приводного маячка.
00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:35,805
Сигнал позволит нам
подорвать базу, уничтожить её,
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:39,640
при этом не повредив минералы,
которые можно найти в окрестностях.
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:44,060
Такие минералы как жижный камень,
звёздные рубины и энергетический радий.
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,360
Они очень ценные.
00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:49,200
Врать не буду: при выполнении задания вы умрёте.
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,540
Но такие слова вредят боевому духу,
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,940
поэтому мы прозвали это задание
«Суперкрутое геройское время на расслабоне».
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:58,260
Туда пойдут только суицидальные тупицы.
00:04:58,450 --> 00:04:59,980
Сержант, я вызываюсь!
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,210
Томблр! Ты не слышал, что я пробубнил?
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:05,090
Да, но я же говорил, надо показать себя.
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,577
Рад слышать, рядовой.
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,010
Нам нужен ещё один волонтёр...
00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:12,020
Может, лучший друг из учебного лагеря?
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,590
Он ещё похож на высокую собачку.
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,560
Кажется, он говорит с тобой.
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,270
Ладно. Я тоже пойду.
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:23,270
Вы все подохнете и будете гореть в аду!
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,520
Ха! Как оказалось, он был живой.
00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,740
Но теперь-то он вот точно подох.
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,190
БОЛЬНИЦА ИМЕНИ СВЯТОГО ДЖО
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,250
Здравствуйте, рад снова видеть вашу семейку.
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:43,197
Как я понял, Корво скончался
после того превращения в жижу пару лет назад.
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,720
- Бедняга.
- Он живой и процветает.
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,600
Ого, а я думал, ему кранты.
00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,100
Помогите, доктор. Наш робот приболел.
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,460
Что ж, я не представляю, как лечить роботов,
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,470
но как-то лечил женщину
по имени Алекса от молочницы.
00:05:55,510 --> 00:05:58,520
Робот — это всего лишь
человек без крови, осмотрим-ка его.
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,330
Медсестра, самбу сюда.
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,530
У вас в кабинете есть робот-пылесос?
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,639
Мы оставляем себе всё,
что вытаскиваем из чужих задниц.
00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:15,870
Ого, здорово!
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000
Я так и думал.
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,566
Он боевой робот, а заболел,
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,440
потому что не выполнял
своё прямое предназначение,
00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,988
говоря медицинскими терминами, не надирал жопы.
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,158
Я рекомендую участвовать
в робо-боях как можно скорее.
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:28,750
Для чего тогда рецепт?
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,690
Там не рецепт, а мой игровой ник.
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,830
Я могу отыметь вас в Call of Duty.
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,600
Можешь уйти в любой момент.
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,740
Хотелось бы, но вдруг тебе кто-нибудь надерёт зад.
00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:43,620
Я вообще и сам могу надрать себе зад.
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:44,920
То есть зад отдать.
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,900
Да пофиг! Вообще не важно!
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,140
А вы знаете лейтенанта Зергеккио?
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,808
Он должен провести нас через Радужное ущелье.
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,910
А мы называем это место по-другому.
00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:56,200
Ущелье смерти.
00:06:56,330 --> 00:07:00,460
- Потому что там умирают?
- Нет, потому что там умирают.
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,420
Ищите Зергея? Вон он там.
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,694
Зергеккио?
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,420
Вот блин!
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,680
Что ж, самим нам не найти базу. Пойдём обратно.
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,328
ЗОНА 4
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:15,720
Да блин, чел. «Обратно» не там...
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,720
Надеюсь, ты ищешь другой окоп.
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:26,759
Умираю с голоду.
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,860
Даже готов съесть пиявок с мошонки.
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,804
Давай отдохнём.
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,648
Маленькому Томблру нужно отойти.
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,910
Маленькому?..
00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:35,370
Просто иди. Не надо шутить. Иди писай.
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:29,670
- Я не искал там пиявок!
- Что за херня?
00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:31,910
Просто... Пойдём уже.
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,240
ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА
СЕГОДНЯ: ЗАКРЫТЫЙ РОБО-ТУРНИР ДОЛИНЫ
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:38,998
ЗАКРЫТЫЙ РОБО-ТУРНИР ДОЛИНЫ
00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:42,270
Надеюсь, Джей-Кей
сможет выпустить весь свой боевой дух.
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,795
Я не хочу, чтобы роботы делали ему больно.
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,270
Так, Джей-Кей, за дело.
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,580
Джей-Кей вернул свою прыть!
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,090
Мой единственный друг.
00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:12,760
Да брось, чел, что случилось?
Ты какой-то мрачный стал.
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:13,650
Не хочу об этом.
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:17,490
Ух ты, видимо, это и есть Радужное ущелье...
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:20,680
И о чём говорил солдаты?
Здесь смертью даже не пахнет.
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,166
Ложись!
00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:25,200
Впереди на возвышенности сидит снайпер.
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,900
Да. И у снайпера есть пушка.
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:28,570
Я Томблр. Это Чарджер.
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,400
Выполняем задание сребро-штаба.
00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,400
Я Гекс. Это Квайгоновски.
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,090
И вы никуда не попадёте, пока лошадиный урод там.
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,090
Я вижу снайпера.
00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,700
Он на выступе.
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,550
Теперь он смотрит на нас.
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,700
Теперь он спускает курок.
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,070
Теперь пули летят сюда. Вот чёрт!
00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:48,580
Прикройте меня, я смогу подкрасться и убить его.
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,440
Но тебя застрелят!
У снайпера, вообще-то, есть оружие.
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,418
Не переживайте.
00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:55,150
Я обучалась современным
методам подкрадывания.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,640
Сальто, ползки, цыпочки.
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,220
Я уже слышал про цыпочки.
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,470
Видимо, мощный метод.
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:04,100
Дома меня ждёт невеста,
она беременна близнецами.
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:06,690
Подстрелили!
00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,320
- Спасём её!
- Нет.
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,760
Пойдёшь — и тоже сдохнешь.
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,620
Он попал в голову!
00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:13,610
А теперь в плечи.
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,610
И пальцы.
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:19,470
Мне стреляли в голову, плечи, колени и пальцы.
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,030
Да пошёл ты, поганая лошадь!
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,800
И пусть твоя шикарная грива тоже на хрен идёт!
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,420
Придумал.
00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:42,050
Ура!
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:44,350
На нём были наглазники. Он нас не заметил.
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,060
В ретроспективе, он сглупил.
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,251
В перспективе тоже.
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,230
Вот чёрт. Что там?
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:52,990
Лошадиный дозор... Похоже, услышали взрыв.
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,890
Остановились?
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,000
Мы на минном поле.
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,580
Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт. Я подохну!
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,620
Мне так страшно, я ссусь от страха.
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,573
Всё будет хорошо.
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:21,243
Я уже видел такое в фильме
«Охотники за сокровищами» с Джорджем Клуни.
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,680
Найдём что-нибудь такого же веса, как ты,
и подменим, как в фильме «Индиана Джонс».
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:28,980
На счёт три, я вытащу тебя,
как в «Смертельном оружии».
00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:31,780
Я вообще ни хрена не понимаю твои отсылки!
00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:32,588
На счёт три.
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,310
Раз... два, три!
00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:39,080
Ух ты, получилось!
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:43,710
Я... я если что не обоссался. Я просто пошутил.
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,200
Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт, бежим!
00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:58,420
Как хорошо, Джей-Кей Севенс выздоровел,
и мы выиграли 20 баксов в блинную.
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,840
Блинчиков хватит на всех и каждого.
00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:05,350
О да! Хулу-лулу, врубай плейлист
«Ямю-микс», будем праздновать.
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:14,610
Вот блин. Похоже, Джей-Кей
не утолил аппетит к уничтожению роботов.
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,730
Ничего страшного.
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:18,930
Подкинем ещё техники, чтобы он смог его утолить.
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,950
Пресвятая Дженнифер Джейсон Лопес, всё!
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:28,100
Он уничтожил все наши гаджеты.
00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:30,250
Блендер Терри хоть поборолся за жизнь.
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,420
А что случится,
когда ему уже будет нечего убивать?
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,487
Терри припрятал вибратор
на случай землетрясения.
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,154
Неси!
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,590
Где?.. Где я?
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:52,687
Не надо.
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,190
Не приближайтесь!
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,880
Спокуха, всё путём.
00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:59,070
- Лошадки повсюду!
- Да, они нас спасли...
00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:02,290
Это их тайная база, но здесь нет боеприпасов.
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,240
Всё верно, Томблр.
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,223
Здесь безопасно.
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:09,490
Кто ты? Я не знал,
что лошадки могут говорить по-нашему.
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,830
«Лошадка» для нас оскорбительное слово.
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,290
Мы — эквиниты.
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,815
Меня зовут Лютик.
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,750
Я возглавляю силы сопротивления.
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,560
Да ну. Вы Иго, скверна мира!
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,279
За мной.
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:23,590
Пришло время снять наглазники и увидеть правду.
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,470
Здесь нет солдат.
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,720
Лишь семьи, беженцы.
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:35,480
Здесь убежище для всех, кто лишился своих домов.
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:38,150
Но вы же захватили эту планету!
00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:42,070
Среброкопы прилетели сюда,
чтобы воровать наши природные ресурсы.
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:46,000
Легко всё присвоить,
когда уничтожил местных и прозвал их Игом.
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,240
Но нам говорили совсем наоборот.
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,440
Стоп, получается, военные лгут о своих целях?
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,620
Предлагаю вам отдохнуть
и перекусить нашей лучшей едой.
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,210
мы — мирный народ, а вы — наши гости.
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,510
Сегодня я впервые доставляю еду на дом.
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,730
Я так рад.
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,500
Приветики, робо-дружок. Может, зайдёшь к нам?
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,100
Мне запрещается входить в дома.
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,640
Да ничего не будет.
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:17,310
Мы хотим дать тебе чаевые.
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,860
Давай, входи, здесь нечего бояться.
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,400
- Что вы делаете?
- Прости, малыш.
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:30,570
Нет, стойте, пожалуйста.
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,690
- Ай, колёсико. Ай.
- Взяла пад си ю?
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,540
Да. А ещё салат с папайей.
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,630
Чёрт, овёс охрененный.
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,260
С трудом верится.
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,630
Война, наше задание. Всё ложь.
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,290
Как я мог быть таким тупым дурнем?
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,330
Я много раз пытался тебе сказать.
00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:56,060
Я сам превратился в то,
что пугало меня в среброкопах в детстве.
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,140
Стал тупым, жестоким оккупантом.
00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,500
Иронично, да?
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,688
Ты никогда не боялся говорить мне правду,
00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:03,150
надо было довериться тебе.
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,967
Какой же я дубина!
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,730
Я тоже другой.
00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:09,500
На самом деле я человек с Земли,
00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:12,200
Я обожаю «Форсаж», и меня запустили в космос.
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,990
Среброкопы повесили на меня убийство,
и хотели убить меня,
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:18,260
но я сбежал, изменил свою внешность,
чтобы попасть в сребро-лагерь.
00:15:18,313 --> 00:15:20,460
Планировал подняться по карьерной лестнице,
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,460
сблизиться с предавшими меня копами
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:23,652
и отомстить.
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,340
Меня даже зовут не Додж. Я Глен Кончстайн.
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,130
Глен... Кончстин?
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:31,090
Нет. Уши тебе на что? Я только что сказал «Кончстайн».
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,370
Давай свалим.
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,350
Покинем планету, начнём новую жизнь,
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:36,957
в которой не будет места для мести среброкопам.
00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,620
Для начала мы уничтожим маячок.
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,376
Томблр, нет!
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,837
Сдохни! Сдохни! Сдохни!
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:42,462
Что?
00:15:42,504 --> 00:15:46,280
Уничтожение маячка отправляет сигнал
в сребро-штаб, и они сразу же посылают бойцов.
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,110
Я читал руководство, пока срал.
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:50,110
Вот те на! Надо сваливать!
00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:53,060
Сребро-солдаты на походе.
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,740
Вам нужно выбираться отсюда.
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,476
Я отведу всех к главному входу.
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:58,880
Нет! Оттуда они и придут. Есть другой выход?
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,080
Когда-то был.
00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:03,066
Он обрушился во время бомбардировки.
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,170
Что будем делать?
00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:07,750
У моей Honda S2000 было 250 лошадиных сил.
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:10,300
Но со всеми эквинитами, силы в два раза больше.
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:11,720
Что предлагаешь?
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,720
Вытащим камень сами!
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,980
Убейте всех копытных!
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,190
Хья! Хья!
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,320
Хья! Хья!
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:33,810
Хья!
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,440
Слишком тяжело!
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,580
Вы сможете! Хья!
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,870
И так тяжело, а ты ещё со своими «хья».
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:41,040
Чёрт, простите.
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,090
Наверное, и оптика хреновая.
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,480
Тянем!
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:53,720
Можно пройти!
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:01,250
Серебряные здесь.
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,649
Лютик, уходите...
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:03,961
Мы задержим их.
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,350
Видел, Кончстайн?
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,500
- Нет!
- Вот чёрт.
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,830
В меня попали.
00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:29,130
Держись. Я вытащу тебя отсюда.
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,760
Помоги эквинитам...
00:17:31,190 --> 00:17:33,170
Я в одиночку задержу солдат.
00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:34,950
Только пообещай мне:
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:39,010
поднимись по званию
и уничтожь всю серебряную систему!
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:39,950
Обязательно.
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,180
Беги!
00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:47,350
Я знал, что жалкому Голо
ни за что не стать среброкопом.
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,230
Вот чёрт.
00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:50,960
Ай! Ай!
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:53,780
- Хватит!
- Ты хватит!
00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,842
Мы на границе территории конюшен.
00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:19,010
Здесь безопасно.
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:26,810
Но тебе нельзя её пересекать.
00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:28,253
Я понимаю, Лютик.
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:29,588
Прощай.
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:40,450
Ни одно приложение: ни Uber доставка,
ни хулулемон — не выезжают на наш адрес,
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,740
потому что их роботы исчезают у нас.
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,210
О нет! Он истекает маслом!
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,030
Держись, Джей-кей, не смей умирать.
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,149
Нет, стой.
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,880
Фу! Масло-то амниотическое!
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,920
Он не умирает, он рожает!
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,440
Так. Севенс, тужься на счёт три.
00:18:57,710 --> 00:18:59,700
Раз, два, три!
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:03,010
Тужься, Джей-кей Севенс, тужься, тужься!
00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:05,520
Я вижу его, потужься ещё раз.
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,520
У тебя получится. Тужься!
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,310
Там... ребёнок?
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,570
Нет, это айфон следующего года выпуска!
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,320
Я хочу убрать провод!
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,160
Даже не верится.
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,740
Всё это время Джей-Кея лишь тошнило по утрам.
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,490
Он, наверное, хотел драться,
00:19:24,518 --> 00:19:27,300
потому что из-за беременности
зашкаливали гормоны.
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,370
Мы вынесли важный урок:
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:32,670
нельзя доверять врачам,
у которых кабинет рядом с кафешкой.
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,220
Прости, Томблр.
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,910
Мне не выбраться с планеты,
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,180
и к среброкопам не проникнуть.
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:47,640
Чарджер!
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:49,880
В костюмах сребро-швалей есть прослушка.
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,020
Мы слышали все твои слова
об уничтожении среброкопов.
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,549
Смелости-то сколько.
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:57,140
Думает побороть целую армию.
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,820
Среброкопы, свалите, хрен вам в сребро-жопу!
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:04,990
Он спутал нас с среброкопами.
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:05,600
Нет?
00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:09,450
Златокопы!
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,230
Всё верно.
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,400
Нас создали держать среброкопов в узде.
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,630
Твой друг прав. Они прогнили насквозь.
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:17,760
Пора уничтожить всю серебряную организацию.
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,170
Просите помочь?
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,350
Что скажешь?
00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:24,640
Хватит ли тебе прыти стать... Златокопом?
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,300
Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,620
ВОТ ЧЁРТ!
ГЛЕН ТЕПЕРЬ ЗЛАТОКОП. О ДА!
eng__Eng.srt
eng__Eng.srt
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,172
{\an8}Oh! Ah...
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,425
{\an8}I didn't think I'd bond
with anyone out here.
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,552
{\an8}I'm gonna fix the Silvercops
from the inside.
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,887
{\an8}It's bullshit. They won't
let us become Silvercops.
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,515
{\an8}Then you tap out!
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183
{\an8}You fucked up, son.
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,309
{\an8}That you did.
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,731
{\an8}Your asses belong to the Silver Army,
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,190
{\an8}you Silvergrunts.
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,561
Listen up, grunts.
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,938
We'll be making planetfall
in T-minus three minutes.
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,316
You'll be joining the war
against the Scourge,
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,652
an alien race of soulless,
ruthless automatons.
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,197
These psychotic fucks
are spreading across the galaxy,
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323
{\an8}pillaging resources
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325
{\an8}and enslaving populations.
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,952
Tomblr, th-th-th-this is insane.
We have to get outta here.
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330
Don't talk to me, Dodge.
You aren't my friend.
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,957
- Don't fuckin' talk to me either.
- I wasn't going to.
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,084
I'm not here to make friends,
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,543
and I definitely won't have your back
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,669
when we get into battle.
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,213
All I care about is killing Horseys
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,590
and wearing their balls
on a chain around my neck!
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,883
Jesus, Zobert.
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,052
You went from zero
to trophy-kill way too fast.
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,637
Lock and load, grunts.
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,806
Just know that I will be
with you every step of the...
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,908
Eat shit, you four-legged fucks!
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,501
- Oh, my God.
- Run, run, run!
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310
Look, I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry for telling you
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,770
to fuck off, like, a minute ago.
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,981
I-I really feel like we-we're
gonna become good friends now
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,691
and maybe we'll even share our backstory.
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609
Oh, my God!
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,278
No one can finish a sentence around here!
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,456
{\an8}According to the Norton
Antivirus Malware-mometer,
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,083
{\an8}JK Sevens is sick.
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,002
{\an8}As soon as he said
"boop" instead of "bwap,"
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,920
{\an8}I knew something was wrong.
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,463
{\an8}Well, let's put him on the curb
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,215
{\an8}and schedule a bulky item pickup.
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,635
{\an8}Should we call Terry and Korvo?
00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,388
{\an8}No. They're seeing Avatar 4:
The Na'vi Three Day Weekend
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,848
{\an8}at the AMC Extended Stay.
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974
{\an8}That movie's 72 hours long,
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,392
{\an8}and they made us promise not to interrupt
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977
{\an8}a single Zoë Saldana second.
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,729
{\an8}Well, if they come home and JK's dead,
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,731
{\an8}we'll never get our phones back.
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,650
{\an8}It's so uncool of them
to take our phones away
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,653
{\an8}just because we never, ever
do anything they tell us to do.
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,950
{\an8}Agh! He's got SD cards and
screws comin' out both ends.
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750
My buttholes!
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,543
They blew off all my buttholes!
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,503
We're all just chickens for the choo-choo.
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,588
"Chickens for the choo-choo"?
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,006
Oh, this situation's so FUBAR,
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,674
I can't think of clichés.
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,092
It's horrifying.
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,637
If we can survive long enough,
maybe we can escape.
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,096
{\an8}I'm not escaping. We have a mission.
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224
{\an8}We have to defeat the Scourge
and free this planet.
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,601
{\an8}Dude, this war is bullshit.
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770
{\an8}Maybe. But if we prove our mettle here,
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063
{\an8}we'll be heroes,
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,814
{\an8}and then they'll have
to make us Silvercops.
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:52,899
{\an8}Are you serious?
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,525
{\an8}How could you still want to be a Silvercop
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,028
{\an8}after they shipped us
to the ass pit of the universe?
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,364
{\an8}Because I don't quit
when things get tough, Dodge.
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,865
{\an8}Though I guess you do!
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492
How long have you had
that in your back pocket,
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993
you turkey-lookin' motherfucker?
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,413
Look alive, Silver shits.
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,374
That's the guy from before.
That's the guy from training.
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793
- Shut up! Shut up!
- I'm the new CO of this unit
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,088
and, yes, my second head
was killed in action.
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,132
{\an8}I'm sure he's interjecting
something snarky and supportive
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,842
{\an8}from the great beyond.
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,136
{\an8}Okay, enough of that.
We got a mission, people.
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,055
{\an8}Our Silver Spies have
learned about a secret
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,391
{\an8}Horsey munitions facility.
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,102
We need two volunteers to locate the base,
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688
infiltrate it, and activate this.
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,147
A homing beacon.
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,733
The signal will allow us
to precision bomb the base,
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,194
obliterating it without
damaging the minerals
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,570
in the surrounding area.
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,322
{\an8}Minerals like Goo Rock,
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407
{\an8}Star Rubies,
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,033
{\an8}and Gatoradium.
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,368
Valuable shit.
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,869
I'm not gonna lie,
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,205
this is a suicide mission.
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,541
But apparently that term
is bad for morale,
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001
so we're calling it
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,795
"Super Cool Chill Hero Time" instead.
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,214
Whatever dumbass goes on this
has a death wish.
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,882
Sergeant, I'd like to volunteer!
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218
Tomblr! Did you not hear
what I just muttered?
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,929
Yeah, but like I said,
we have to prove our mettle.
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:09,017
Happy to hear it, Private.
Now we just need one more.
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,978
Perhaps a best friend from bootcamp?
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857
Who maybe also looks like a tall dog?
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,568
I think he's talking to you.
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,278
Fine. I'm in, too.
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,782
You're all gonna die
and rot in hell!
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,618
Ha! Guess he wasn't as dead as I thought.
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,747
But he's definitely dead now.
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130
Hey hey, great to see
the Opposites family again.
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757
I can only assume Korvo died
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051
from the whole turning to
goo thing a few years ago.
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720
- Poor bastard.
- No, he's alive and totally fine.
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,513
Wow. I was sure he was a goner.
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,099
Please help us, doctor. Our robo is sick.
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,435
Well, I have no idea how to fix robots,
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355
but I did once treat a woman named Alexa
for a yeast infection.
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,608
A machine's just a person with no blood,
so let's take a look.
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,652
Hmm.
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,279
Nurse, bring in the Samba.
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,448
You have a robot vacuum for the office?
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117
We get to keep whatever
we remove from people's butts.
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875
Whoa, that was awesome!
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,001
Just as I suspected.
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586
He's a battle-bot, and he's sick
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,381
because he hasn't been
fulfilling his core function of,
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,841
in strict medical terms,
kicking robot ass.
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,135
I'm recommending JK start battle-boting
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,345
as soon as possible.
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763
What's this prescription then?
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640
That's not a prescription.
It's a gamer tag.
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,017
In case you ever want
to get owned in Call of Duty.
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,605
Feel free to turn back anytime.
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,065
I wish I could,
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650
but someone has to keep
your ass from getting killed.
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403
I am perfectly capable
of killin' my own ass.
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,821
I mean, assing my own kill.
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906
I mean whatever! It doesn't matter!
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,034
Uh, any of you know Lieutenant Zergecchio?
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202
He's supposed to guide us through
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,745
the Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914
Oh, we have a special name for that place.
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124
The Death Gulch.
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,625
'Cause people die there?
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,461
No, because people die there.
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,422
If you want Zergey, he's over there.
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,631
Zergecchio?
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,092
Oh, geez!
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,429
Well, we can't find this base
if we don't have a guide.
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,680
Better head back.
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852
C-c-come on, man. That's not back.
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,728
You better be looking for another trench.
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,689
Ugh.
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,865
God, I'm starving. I'd kill for a scrotum
leech right now.
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451
Let's take a break.
I have to use the little Tomblr's room.
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,910
The little... Ugh.
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,371
Just go. Don't try
to make it funny. Just pee.
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,466
I wasn't looking for scrotum leeches.
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,675
What the fuck happened to you?
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,719
Let's... Let's just go.
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,937
Hopefully, JK can get
some of the battle-boting
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,271
out of his system here.
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,649
I just don't want these robos to hurt him.
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,276
Okay, JK. Do your thing.
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,585
JK's got his mojo back!
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,089
He was my only friend!
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,300
Come on, dude. What happened back there?
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635
You're all haunted and shit now.
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844
I don't want to talk about it.
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,682
Wow, this must be
Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,183
I don't know what those grunts
we're talking about.
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,685
I'm not getting death vibes at all.
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061
Get down!
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,106
There's a Horsey sniper
on the outcropping up ahead.
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,899
Yeah. And that sniper's got a gun!
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,442
I'm Tomblr. This is Charger.
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,403
On a special mission from Silver HQ.
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405
Name's Gex. This here's Quigonowski.
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489
And you're not going anywhere
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,074
with that Horsey scumbitch out there.
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410
I can see the sniper.
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703
He's on the high ridge.
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,871
Now he's lookin' right at us.
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,707
Now he's pulling the trigger.
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,750
Now the bullets are coming
this way. Oh, shit!
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,502
If you guys cover me,
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,588
I can sneak up to the perch
and take him out.
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,173
But you'll get shot!
The sniper, to remind you, has a gun!
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,301
Don't worry. I've been specially trained
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,094
in the latest sneaking techniques.
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,555
Somersaults, baby crawls, tippy toes.
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,223
I've heard of tippy toes before.
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,474
Supposed to really be something.
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,268
I also have a fiancée back home,
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,103
and she's pregnant with twins.
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,689
Ah! I'm hit!
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190
- We gotta save her!
- No!
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817
You go out there and you're dead too.
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,527
Ah! He got me in the head.
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,613
Now he got my shoulders!
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615
And my toes!
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,452
I've been shot in the head,
shoulders, knees, and toes!
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038
Fuck you, you Horsey motherclomper!
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,749
Fuck you and your gorgeous, shiny mane!
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,423
Hmm. I have an idea.
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,016
Yeah!
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,352
He had blinders on. Never saw us comin'.
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062
In hindsight, not a smart move.
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,563
Also, inside sight.
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,232
Ah, shit. What's that?
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,525
It's Horsey patrol.
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,069
They must have heard the explosion.
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,036
Why'd they stop?
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,001
We must be in a minefield.
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,382
Shit, shit, shit! I'm gonna die!
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,425
I'm so scared, I'm pissing myself.
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,510
It's gonna be okay. Relax.
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928
I saw this exact same thing happen
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,888
in George Clooney's best movie,
The Monuments Men.
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973
We just have to find something
of equal weight
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,225
and then we switch you out with it,
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,810
Raiders of the Lost Ark style.
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,770
On the count of three,
I'm gonna pull you off
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,146
just like they did in Lethal Weapon.
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,649
I don't understand any
of the references you're making!
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733
On three.
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,277
One... two, three!
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,074
Wow, it worked!
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,909
I, uh, I didn't piss myself,
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452
by the way. That, that was a joke.
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,205
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Run!
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,965
So glad we cured JK Sevens and
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091
won a $25
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426
Cracker Barrel gift card.
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845
That's country fried pancakes
for everyone.
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805
Hell yeah. Hulu's HuluLulu,
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,349
play Yumyulack's "Yumyu Mix" to celebrate.
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,647
Oh, geez.
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,525
I guess JK still has an appetite
for robo destruction.
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,735
That's no big deal.
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,653
We can toss him a few more electronics
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,071
to get it out of his system.
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,953
Holy Jennifer Jason Lopez, that was it!
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,997
JK destroyed every gadget in the house.
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,166
Terry's Vitamix actually put up
a decent fight.
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,419
What happens when we run
out of stuff for him to kill?
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,214
I think Terry keeps a Hitachi Wand
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,299
in the earthquake supplies.
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633
Get it!
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,596
Where? Where am I?
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,190
Stay back. Don't take another clop!
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,775
Relax, T, it's okay.
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,526
There are Horseys everywhere!
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111
I know. They rescued us.
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,404
This is that secret base,
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,156
but it's not a munitions facility.
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,240
That's right, Tomblr.
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,327
You're safe here.
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578
Who are you?
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205
I didn't know Horseys
could speak standard.
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,832
"Horsey" is a derogatory slur.
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,292
We are the Equinites.
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,877
My name is Buttercup.
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,796
I'm the leader of the resistance.
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,005
Oh, please.
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,507
You're the scourge on this world!
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,594
Come. It's time to remove
your blinders and see the truth.
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,475
There are no soldiers here.
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,727
Just families, refugees.
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,479
This is a sanctuary
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,481
for those who've been
driven from their homes.
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,275
But you were the ones
who invaded this planet.
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,152
The Silvercops are the ones who came here
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071
to steal our natural resources.
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,240
Easy to take when you
exterminate the locals
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866
and label them a scourge.
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,244
But that's the total opposite
of what we were told.
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,330
Wait, does the military
lie about its motives?
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,625
I suggest you rest and help
yourself to our finest feedbags.
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,212
We are a peaceful people,
and you are our guests.
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,511
Today is my first day
delivering food for Grub Bud.
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,804
{\an8}I am so excited.
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,516
{\an8}Hey there, robo pal.
Why don't you come on inside?
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,102
I am not supposed to enter homes.
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645
{\an8}No, it's fine.
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,314
{\an8}We just wanna give you a tip.
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,859
{\an8}Come on in. Don't be afraid.
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,029
What are you doing?
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,406
Sorry, little guy.
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,578
No, wait, please.
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165
Ow, that's my wheel. Ow.
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,584
{\an8}You got the Pad See Ew, right?
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544
{\an8}Yeah. And the papaya salad too.
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,171
Mm.
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,632
Damn, these oats are the shit.
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,259
Oh, I can't believe it.
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636
The war, our mission, it's all a lie.
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,389
How could I be such a dumb sucker?
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,266
I mean, I tried to tell you
multiple times.
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,226
I mean, I've become the
very thing that terrified me
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061
about the Silvercops when I was a kid.
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,147
A stupid, violent occupier.
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,356
Pretty ironic, huh?
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,775
You've always been totally honest with me,
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,152
and I should have trusted you.
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820
Oh, I'm such an idiot.
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,489
I'm not who you think I am.
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617
I'm actually a human from the planet Earth
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,202
who loves the Fast and Furious franchise
and was shot into space.
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,787
Some Silvercops framed me for murder
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,080
and they were going to kill me,
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,624
but I escaped and changed my appearance
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,125
so I could enlist in Silver Bootcamp.
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,461
My plan has always been
to work my way up the ranks
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338
so I could get close
to the Silvers who betrayed me
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,547
and take my revenge.
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,049
My name isn't even Dodge.
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342
It's Glen Kumstein.
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,135
Glen Kum-steen?
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,595
No. What are you, reading it off a page?
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,096
I just said it now. Kumstein.
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,306
Let's get outta here, man.
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350
Let's leave this planet
and start new lives
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,769
that are not defined by getting
revenge on the Silvercops.
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,188
- First, we destroy this homing beacon.
- Tomblr, no!
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,358
Die! Die! Die! What?
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,485
Destroying that automatically
signaled Silver HQ
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,278
to send a strike team
to these coordinates.
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113
I read the manual
when I was taking a shit!
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,115
Oh, my stars and Marys, we gotta go!
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,826
Silvergrunts are on the way.
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,662
We have to get your people out now.
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163
I'll herd everyone
toward the main entrance.
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,748
No! That's where they'll be coming.
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,999
Is there another way out?
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,084
There used to be.
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,920
It collapsed during
a bombing strike last winter.
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,171
What are we gonna do?
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,756
Back on Earth, my Honda S2000
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,758
had about 250 horsepower.
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:08,968
But with all the Equinites here,
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302
we have at least double that.
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,720
What are you suggesting?
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722
Let's yank off these rocks!
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983
Kill everything that trots.
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,449
Yah! Yah!
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,284
Yah!
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,661
It's too heavy.
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,204
You can do it. Yah!
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,873
It's hard enough
without you yelling, "Yah."
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,250
Shit, sorry.
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544
God, I bet the optics
on this are terrible too.
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,087
Pull!
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,721
It's open!
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,395
The Silvers are here!
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479
Buttercup, keep going.
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,856
We'll buy you some time.
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958
- You see that, Kumstein?
- Oh!
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501
- No!
- Oh, shit.
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,837
Oh, they zapped me.
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,131
H-h-hold on. I-I can get you outta here.
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758
Help the Equinites to safety.
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,469
I'll hold off the grunts by myself.
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,095
Just make me one promise.
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,139
Rise up the ranks and take down
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,224
the entire Silver system.
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,185
- I'll do it.
- Go!
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,898
I knew a filthy holo like you
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357
could never be a Silvercop.
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,568
Oh, shit!
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071
Ow! Ow! Ah!
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,781
- Quit it.
- You quit it!
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,971
This is the border of Stable Territory.
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,098
We should be safe here.
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,814
But you can proceed no further.
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357
I understand, Buttercup.
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,525
Goodbye.
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,949
None of the apps,
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,951
{\an8}not Postmates, UberEats, or even HuluLemon
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,369
will deliver to us anymore
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,746
because their robots keep
disappearing at our house.
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125
Oh, no! He's gushing oil!
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,960
Hang in there, JK. Don't die on us.
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,461
No, wait.
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880
Ew! This oil is amniotic.
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,924
He's not dying, he's giving birth!
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,511
Okay, Sevens. You're gonna push on three.
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,471
One, two, three!
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,016
Push, JK Sevens! Push! Push!
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,519
Ah! I can see it.
Just one more big push, JK.
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,604
You got this! One more!
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316
Is... Is it a baby?
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,570
No, it's next year's EyePhone!
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321
Oh, I wanna cut the cord!
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,242
I can't believe it.
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,744
All this time,
JK just had morning sickness.
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,496
He must have only wanted to battle-bot
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,499
because he was so hormonal
from his pregnancy.
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376
Well, we've learned a valuable lesson.
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,170
Never trust a doctor who shares an office
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,671
with Hometown Buffet.
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,219
I'm sorry, Tomblr.
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,096
I don't think I'm ever
getting off this planet,
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,182
much less infiltrating
the Silvercops again.
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,728
Charger!
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,730
Every Silvergrunt suit
has a recording device.
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,899
We heard everything you said
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,026
about taking down the Silvercops.
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,987
The balls on this guy.
Thinks he's a one-man army.
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,947
You Silvercops can go fuck yourselves
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,824
in your stinking Silver asses!
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,661
He thinks we're Silvercops.
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,746
You're not?
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,458
Goldcops.
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,252
That's right. We were created
to keep the Silvercops in line.
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,420
Your friend was spot on.
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755
They're rotten to the core.
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,841
The entire Silver organization
has to go down.
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,384
And you want my help?
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,636
What do you say?
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,679
Do you have what it takes to be...
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,640
a Goldcop?
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,170
{\an8}This is it. The final trial.
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,172
{\an8}Oh! Ah...
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,425
{\an8}I didn't think I'd bond
with anyone out here.
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,552
{\an8}I'm gonna fix the Silvercops
from the inside.
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,887
{\an8}It's bullshit. They won't
let us become Silvercops.
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,515
{\an8}- Then you tap out!
- [body whacking]
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183
{\an8}- [Terry screaming]
- You fucked up, son.
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,309
{\an8}That you did.
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,731
{\an8}Your asses belong to the Silver Army,
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,190
{\an8}you Silvergrunts.
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,239
[♪ adventurous orchestral music playing]
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:52,844
{\an8}[♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:59,309
- [lasers blasting]
- [explosions booming]
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,561
Listen up, grunts.
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,938
We'll be making planetfall
in T-minus three minutes.
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,316
You'll be joining the war
against the Scourge,
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,652
an alien race of soulless,
ruthless automatons.
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,197
These psychotic fucks
are spreading across the galaxy,
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323
{\an8}pillaging resources
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325
{\an8}and enslaving populations.
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,952
Tomblr, th-th-th-this is insane.
We have to get outta here.
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330
Don't talk to me, Dodge.
You aren't my friend.
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,957
- Don't fuckin' talk to me either.
- I wasn't going to.
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,084
I'm not here to make friends,
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,543
and I definitely won't have your back
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,669
when we get into battle.
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,213
All I care about is killing Horseys
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,590
and wearing their balls
on a chain around my neck!
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,883
Jesus, Zobert.
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,052
You went from zero
to trophy-kill way too fast.
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,637
Lock and load, grunts.
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,806
Just know that I will be
with you every step of the...
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,475
- [explosion booms]
- [all scream]
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,605
[ship crashes]
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,108
[high-pitched ringing]
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,908
Eat shit, you four-legged fucks!
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,701
- [screams]
- [horses neighing]
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,121
[♪ dramatic music playing]
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,501
- Oh, my God.
- Run, run, run!
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,587
- [all panting]
- [explosions booming]
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:10,880
[horse whinnies]
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,426
[♪ dramatic music continues]
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,678
[horse whinnies]
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,932
- [horse whinnies]
- [laser blasts]
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310
Look, I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry for telling you
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,770
to fuck off, like, a minute ago.
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,981
I-I really feel like we-we're
gonna become good friends now
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,691
and maybe we'll even share our backstory.
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609
- [head explodes]
- Oh, my God!
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,278
No one can finish a sentence around here!
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,031
[bodies squish]
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,033
[♪ bright music playing]
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,327
{\an8}[JK Sevens beeps]
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,456
{\an8}According to the Norton
Antivirus Malware-mometer,
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,083
{\an8}JK Sevens is sick.
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,002
{\an8}As soon as he said
"boop" instead of "bwap,"
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,920
{\an8}I knew something was wrong.
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,463
{\an8}Well, let's put him on the curb
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,215
{\an8}and schedule a bulky item pickup.
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,466
{\an8}[Pupa groans]
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,635
{\an8}Should we call Terry and Korvo?
00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,388
{\an8}No. They're seeing Avatar 4:
The Na'vi Three Day Weekend
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,848
{\an8}at the AMC Extended Stay.
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974
{\an8}That movie's 72 hours long,
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,392
{\an8}and they made us promise not to interrupt
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977
{\an8}a single Zoë Saldana second.
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,729
{\an8}Well, if they come home and JK's dead,
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,731
{\an8}we'll never get our phones back.
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,650
{\an8}It's so uncool of them
to take our phones away
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,653
{\an8}just because we never, ever
do anything they tell us to do.
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,655
{\an8}- [JK Sevens belches]
- [all yelp]
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,950
{\an8}Agh! He's got SD cards and
screws comin' out both ends.
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,160
{\an8}[belches]
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750
[screaming] My buttholes!
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,543
They blew off all my buttholes!
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,503
We're all just chickens for the choo-choo.
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,588
"Chickens for the choo-choo"?
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,006
Oh, this situation's so FUBAR,
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,674
I can't think of clichés.
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,092
It's horrifying.
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,637
If we can survive long enough,
maybe we can escape.
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,096
{\an8}I'm not escaping. We have a mission.
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224
{\an8}We have to defeat the Scourge
and free this planet.
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,601
{\an8}Dude, this war is bullshit.
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770
{\an8}Maybe. But if we prove our mettle here,
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063
{\an8}we'll be heroes,
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,814
{\an8}and then they'll have
to make us Silvercops.
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:52,899
{\an8}Are you serious?
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,525
{\an8}How could you still want to be a Silvercop
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,028
{\an8}after they shipped us
to the ass pit of the universe?
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,364
{\an8}Because I don't quit
when things get tough, Dodge.
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,865
{\an8}Though I guess you do!
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492
How long have you had
that in your back pocket,
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993
you turkey-lookin' motherfucker?
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,413
Look alive, Silver shits.
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,374
That's the guy from before.
That's the guy from training.
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793
- Shut up! Shut up!
- I'm the new CO of this unit
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,088
and, yes, my second head
was killed in action.
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,132
{\an8}I'm sure he's interjecting
something snarky and supportive
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,842
{\an8}from the great beyond.
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,136
{\an8}Okay, enough of that.
We got a mission, people.
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,055
{\an8}Our Silver Spies have
learned about a secret
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,391
{\an8}Horsey munitions facility.
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,102
We need two volunteers to locate the base,
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688
infiltrate it, and activate this.
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,147
A homing beacon.
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,733
The signal will allow us
to precision bomb the base,
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,194
obliterating it without
damaging the minerals
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,570
in the surrounding area.
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,322
{\an8}Minerals like Goo Rock,
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407
{\an8}Star Rubies,
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,033
{\an8}and Gatoradium.
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,368
Valuable shit.
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,869
I'm not gonna lie,
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,205
this is a suicide mission.
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,541
But apparently that term
is bad for morale,
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001
so we're calling it
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,795
"Super Cool Chill Hero Time" instead.
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,214
Whatever dumbass goes on this
has a death wish.
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,882
Sergeant, I'd like to volunteer!
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218
Tomblr! Did you not hear
what I just muttered?
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,929
Yeah, but like I said,
we have to prove our mettle.
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:09,017
Happy to hear it, Private.
Now we just need one more.
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,978
Perhaps a best friend from bootcamp?
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857
Who maybe also looks like a tall dog?
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,568
I think he's talking to you.
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,278
Fine. I'm in, too.
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,782
You're all gonna die
and rot in hell! [screams]
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,618
Ha! Guess he wasn't as dead as I thought.
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,747
But he's definitely dead now.
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130
Hey hey, great to see
the Opposites family again.
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757
I can only assume Korvo died
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051
from the whole turning to
goo thing a few years ago.
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720
- Poor bastard.
- No, he's alive and totally fine.
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,513
Wow. I was sure he was a goner.
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,099
Please help us, doctor. Our robo is sick.
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,435
Well, I have no idea how to fix robots,
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355
but I did once treat a woman named Alexa
for a yeast infection.
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,608
A machine's just a person with no blood,
so let's take a look.
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,318
[clanking]
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,652
- [JK Sevens farts]
- Hmm.
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,279
Nurse, bring in the Samba.
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,448
You have a robot vacuum for the office?
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117
We get to keep whatever
we remove from people's butts.
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,620
- [vacuum whirs]
- [JK Sevens beeping]
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,081
[drill whirs]
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875
Whoa, that was awesome!
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,001
Just as I suspected.
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586
He's a battle-bot, and he's sick
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,381
because he hasn't been
fulfilling his core function of,
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,841
in strict medical terms,
kicking robot ass.
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,135
I'm recommending JK start battle-boting
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,345
as soon as possible.
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763
What's this prescription then?
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640
That's not a prescription.
It's a gamer tag.
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,017
In case you ever want
to get owned in Call of Duty.
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,478
- [lasers blasting]
- [explosions booming]
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,605
Feel free to turn back anytime.
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,065
I wish I could,
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650
but someone has to keep
your ass from getting killed.
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403
I am perfectly capable
of killin' my own ass.
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,821
I mean, assing my own kill.
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906
I mean whatever! It doesn't matter!
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,034
Uh, any of you know Lieutenant Zergecchio?
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202
He's supposed to guide us through
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,745
the Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914
Oh, we have a special name for that place.
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124
The Death Gulch.
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,625
'Cause people die there?
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,461
No, because people die there.
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,422
If you want Zergey, he's over there.
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,631
Zergecchio?
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,092
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- Oh, geez!
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,635
[Tomblr dry heaving]
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,429
Well, we can't find this base
if we don't have a guide.
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,680
Better head back.
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852
C-c-come on, man. That's not back.
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,728
You better be looking for another trench.
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,689
Ugh.
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,865
God, I'm starving. I'd kill for a scrotum
leech right now.
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451
Let's take a break.
I have to use the little Tomblr's room.
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,910
The little... Ugh.
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,371
Just go. Don't try
to make it funny. Just pee.
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,713
- [zipper buzzes]
- [urine trickling]
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,340
- [sighs]
- [urine spouting]
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,760
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,887
[horse snorts]
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,848
[♪ tense music playing]
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,725
[horse whinnies]
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,059
[Tomblr grunts]
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,311
[punches thudding]
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,440
[hooves thudding]
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,276
- [Tomblr panting]
- [horse whinnies]
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,743
- [Tomblr yells]
- [horse whinnies]
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,211
[Tomblr whimpers]
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,466
I wasn't looking for scrotum leeches.
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,675
What the fuck happened to you?
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,719
Let's... Let's just go.
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,266
{\an8}[birds chirping]
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,937
Hopefully, JK can get
some of the battle-boting
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,271
out of his system here.
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,649
I just don't want these robos to hurt him.
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,276
Okay, JK. Do your thing.
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,820
[JK Sevens beeping excitedly]
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,906
[♪ exciting music playing]
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,875
[JK Sevens beeping]
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,585
JK's got his mojo back!
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,089
[sobs] He was my only friend!
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,300
Come on, dude. What happened back there?
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635
You're all haunted and shit now.
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844
I don't want to talk about it.
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,682
[Dodge] Wow, this must be
Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,183
I don't know what those grunts
we're talking about.
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,685
I'm not getting death vibes at all.
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061
- [laser blasts]
- Get down!
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,106
There's a Horsey sniper
on the outcropping up ahead.
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,899
Yeah. And that sniper's got a gun!
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,442
I'm Tomblr. This is Charger.
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,403
On a special mission from Silver HQ.
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405
Name's Gex. This here's Quigonowski.
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489
And you're not going anywhere
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,074
with that Horsey scumbitch out there.
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410
I can see the sniper.
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703
He's on the high ridge.
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,871
Now he's lookin' right at us.
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,707
- Now he's pulling the trigger.
- [laser blasts]
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,750
Now the bullets are coming
this way. Oh, shit!
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,502
If you guys cover me,
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,588
I can sneak up to the perch
and take him out.
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,173
But you'll get shot!
The sniper, to remind you, has a gun!
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,301
Don't worry. I've been specially trained
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,094
in the latest sneaking techniques.
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,555
Somersaults, baby crawls, tippy toes.
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,223
I've heard of tippy toes before.
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,474
Supposed to really be something.
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,268
I also have a fiancée back home,
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,103
and she's pregnant with twins.
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,689
- [laser blasts]
- Ah! I'm hit!
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190
- We gotta save her!
- No!
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817
You go out there and you're dead too.
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,527
- [laser blasts]
- [Quigonowski] Ah! He got me in the head.
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,613
- [laser blasts]
- Now he got my shoulders!
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615
- [laser blasts]
- And my toes!
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,452
I've been shot in the head,
shoulders, knees, and toes!
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038
Fuck you, you Horsey motherclomper!
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,749
Fuck you and your gorgeous, shiny mane!
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,423
Hmm. I have an idea.
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,802
[horse grunts]
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,347
- [grenade beeping]
- [horse nickers]
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,806
[explosion booms]
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,016
- [all cheer]
- Yeah!
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,352
He had blinders on. Never saw us comin'.
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062
In hindsight, not a smart move.
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,563
Also, inside sight. [chuckles]
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,648
[horses neighing]
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,232
Ah, shit. What's that?
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,525
It's Horsey patrol.
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,069
They must have heard the explosion.
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,657
[all panting]
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,660
[horse neighs]
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,036
Why'd they stop?
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,749
- [landmine beeps]
- [Gex yelps]
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,001
- [Tomblr gasps]
- We must be in a minefield.
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,545
[landmine beeps]
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,382
Shit, shit, shit! I'm gonna die!
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,425
I'm so scared, I'm pissing myself.
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,510
It's gonna be okay. Relax.
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928
I saw this exact same thing happen
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,888
in George Clooney's best movie,
The Monuments Men.
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973
We just have to find something
of equal weight
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,225
and then we switch you out with it,
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,810
Raiders of the Lost Ark style.
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,770
On the count of three,
I'm gonna pull you off
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,146
just like they did in Lethal Weapon.
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,649
I don't understand any
of the references you're making!
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733
On three.
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,277
One... two, three!
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,074
Wow, it worked! [laughs]
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,909
I, uh, I didn't piss myself,
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452
by the way. That, that was a joke.
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,578
- [object thuds]
- [landmine beeping]
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,205
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Run!
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,333
- [both screaming]
- [explosions booming]
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,965
So glad we cured JK Sevens and
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091
won a $25
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426
Cracker Barrel gift card.
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845
That's country fried pancakes
for everyone.
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805
Hell yeah. Hulu's HuluLulu,
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,349
play Yumyulack's "Yumyu Mix" to celebrate.
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,143
[♪ dance music playing]
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,271
[device thudding]
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,647
Oh, geez.
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,525
I guess JK still has an appetite
for robo destruction.
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,735
That's no big deal.
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,653
We can toss him a few more electronics
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,071
to get it out of his system.
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,782
[saw whirring]
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,953
Holy Jennifer Jason Lopez, that was it!
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,997
JK destroyed every gadget in the house.
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,166
Terry's Vitamix actually put up
a decent fight.
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,419
What happens when we run
out of stuff for him to kill?
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,713
- [JK Sevens beeping and buzzing]
- [all gasp]
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,214
I think Terry keeps a Hitachi Wand
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,299
in the earthquake supplies.
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633
Get it!
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,596
Where? Where am I?
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,930
[horse snorting]
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,475
[horse whinnies]
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,270
[Tomblr screams and whimpers]
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,190
Stay back. Don't take another clop!
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,775
Relax, T, it's okay.
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,526
There are Horseys everywhere!
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111
I know. They rescued us.
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,404
This is that secret base,
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,156
but it's not a munitions facility.
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,240
[Horsey] That's right, Tomblr.
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,327
You're safe here.
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578
Who are you?
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205
I didn't know Horseys
could speak standard.
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,832
"Horsey" is a derogatory slur.
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,292
We are the Equinites.
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,877
My name is Buttercup.
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,796
I'm the leader of the resistance.
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,005
Oh, please.
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,507
You're the scourge on this world!
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,594
Come. It's time to remove
your blinders and see the truth.
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,680
[♪ gentle music playing]
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,475
[Buttercup] There are no soldiers here.
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,727
Just families, refugees.
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,479
This is a sanctuary
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,481
for those who've been
driven from their homes.
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,275
But you were the ones
who invaded this planet.
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,152
The Silvercops are the ones who came here
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071
to steal our natural resources.
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,240
Easy to take when you
exterminate the locals
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866
and label them a scourge.
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,244
But that's the total opposite
of what we were told.
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,330
Wait, does the military
lie about its motives?
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,625
I suggest you rest and help
yourself to our finest feedbags.
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,212
We are a peaceful people,
and you are our guests.
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,511
{\an8}[robot] Today is my first day
delivering food for Grub Bud.
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,804
{\an8}I am so excited.
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,516
{\an8}Hey there, robo pal.
Why don't you come on inside?
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,102
{\an8}[robot] I am not supposed to enter homes.
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645
{\an8}No, it's fine.
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,314
{\an8}We just wanna give you a tip.
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,859
{\an8}Come on in. Don't be afraid.
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,570
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,029
[robot] What are you doing?
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,406
Sorry, little guy.
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,450
[♪ sinister music playing]
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,578
[robot] No, wait, please.
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,497
- [screams]
- [metal clanging]
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165
[robot] Ow, that's my wheel. Ow.
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,584
{\an8}You got the Pad See Ew, right?
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544
{\an8}Yeah. And the papaya salad too.
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,171
[Dodge] Mm.
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,632
Damn, these oats are the shit.
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,259
Oh, I can't believe it.
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636
The war, our mission, it's all a lie.
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,389
How could I be such a dumb sucker?
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,266
I mean, I tried to tell you
multiple times.
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,226
I mean, I've become the
very thing that terrified me
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061
about the Silvercops when I was a kid.
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,147
A stupid, violent occupier.
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,356
Pretty ironic, huh?
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,775
You've always been totally honest with me,
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,152
and I should have trusted you.
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820
Oh, I'm such an idiot.
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,489
[sighs] I'm not who you think I am.
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617
I'm actually a human from the planet Earth
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,202
who loves the Fast and Furious franchise
and was shot into space.
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,787
Some Silvercops framed me for murder
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,080
and they were going to kill me,
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,624
but I escaped and changed my appearance
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,125
so I could enlist in Silver Bootcamp.
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,461
My plan has always been
to work my way up the ranks
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338
so I could get close
to the Silvers who betrayed me
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,547
and take my revenge.
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,049
My name isn't even Dodge.
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342
It's Glen Kumstein.
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,135
Glen Kum-steen?
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,595
No. What are you, reading it off a page?
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,096
I just said it now. Kumstein.
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,306
Let's get outta here, man.
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350
Let's leave this planet
and start new lives
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,769
that are not defined by getting
revenge on the Silvercops.
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,188
- First, we destroy this homing beacon.
- Tomblr, no!
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,358
Die! Die! Die! What?
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,485
Destroying that automatically
signaled Silver HQ
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,278
to send a strike team
to these coordinates.
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113
I read the manual
when I was taking a shit!
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,115
Oh, my stars and Marys, we gotta go!
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,742
[Tomblr panting]
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,826
Silvergrunts are on the way.
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,662
We have to get your people out now.
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163
I'll herd everyone
toward the main entrance.
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,748
No! That's where they'll be coming.
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,999
Is there another way out?
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,084
There used to be.
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,920
It collapsed during
a bombing strike last winter.
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,171
What are we gonna do?
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,756
Back on Earth, my Honda S2000
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,758
had about 250 horsepower.
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:08,968
But with all the Equinites here,
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302
we have at least double that.
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,720
What are you suggesting?
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722
Let's yank off these rocks!
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,141
[horses whinny]
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:21,563
[♪ dramatic music continues]
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983
Kill everything that trots.
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,197
- Yah! Yah!
- [horses whinny]
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,449
Yah! Yah!
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,284
Yah!
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,661
It's too heavy.
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,204
You can do it. Yah!
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,873
It's hard enough
without you yelling, "Yah."
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,250
Shit, sorry.
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544
God, I bet the optics
on this are terrible too.
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,087
- Pull!
- [horse whinnying]
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,674
[horse grunts]
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,721
It's open!
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,016
[timer beeping]
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,893
- [explosion booms]
- [ground rumbling]
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,395
The Silvers are here!
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479
Buttercup, keep going.
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,856
We'll buy you some time.
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,483
[♪ dramatic music playing]
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,782
- [lasers blasting]
- [soldier screams]
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958
- You see that, Kumstein?
- Oh!
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501
- No!
- Oh, shit.
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,837
Oh, they zapped me.
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,131
H-h-hold on. I-I can get you outta here.
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758
Help the Equinites to safety.
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,469
I'll hold off the grunts by myself.
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,095
Just make me one promise.
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,139
Rise up the ranks and take down
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,224
the entire Silver system.
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,185
- I'll do it.
- Go!
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,812
[Sgt. Argent cackling]
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,898
I knew a filthy holo like you
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357
could never be a Silvercop.
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,568
- [timer beeping]
- Oh, shit!
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071
Ow! Ow! Ah!
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,781
- Quit it.
- You quit it!
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,240
[timer beeping accelerates]
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,493
- [explosion booms]
- [ground rumbling]
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,914
[rocks thudding]
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,252
[Dodge grunting]
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,838
[♪ solemn music playing]
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,971
This is the border of Stable Territory.
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,098
We should be safe here.
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,228
[horse whinnies]
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,814
But you can proceed no further.
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357
I understand, Buttercup.
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,525
Goodbye.
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,860
[♪ solemn music continues]
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,949
{\an8}[Yumyulack] None of the apps,
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,951
{\an8}not Postmates, UberEats, or even HuluLemon
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,369
will deliver to us anymore
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,746
because their robots keep
disappearing at our house.
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125
Oh, no! He's gushing oil!
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,960
Hang in there, JK. Don't die on us.
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,461
No, wait.
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880
Ew! This oil is amniotic.
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,924
He's not dying, he's giving birth!
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,175
[beeping]
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,511
Okay, Sevens. You're gonna push on three.
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,471
One, two, three!
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,016
[all] Push, JK Sevens! Push! Push!
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,519
Ah! I can see it.
Just one more big push, JK.
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,604
You got this! One more!
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,314
[object splats]
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316
Is... Is it a baby?
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,570
No, it's next year's EyePhone!
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321
Oh, I wanna cut the cord!
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,949
[chiming]
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,242
I can't believe it.
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,744
All this time,
JK just had morning sickness.
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,496
He must have only wanted to battle-bot
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,499
because he was so hormonal
from his pregnancy.
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376
Well, we've learned a valuable lesson.
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,170
Never trust a doctor who shares an office
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,671
with Hometown Buffet.
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,173
[JK Sevens beeps]
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,718
[Dodge sighs]
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,219
I'm sorry, Tomblr.
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,096
I don't think I'm ever
getting off this planet,
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,182
much less infiltrating
the Silvercops again.
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,850
[sighs]
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,728
[soldier] Charger!
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,730
Every Silvergrunt suit
has a recording device.
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,899
We heard everything you said
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,026
about taking down the Silvercops.
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,987
The balls on this guy.
Thinks he's a one-man army.
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,947
You Silvercops can go fuck yourselves
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,824
in your stinking Silver asses!
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,826
[cops laugh]
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,661
He thinks we're Silvercops.
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,746
You're not?
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,458
[gasps] Goldcops.
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,252
That's right. We were created
to keep the Silvercops in line.
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,420
Your friend was spot on.
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755
They're rotten to the core.
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,841
The entire Silver organization
has to go down.
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,384
And you want my help?
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,636
What do you say?
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,679
Do you have what it takes to be...
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,640
a Goldcop?
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,184
[♪ energetic rock music playing]
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,653
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,529
[mimicking laser fire]
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