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Робот-компаньон заболел. Юмьюлак и Джесси отводят его к врачу. Доктор сообщает, что этот робот, похоже, имеет боевую программу и плохо себя чувствует из-за того, что не сражается с другими роботами. Репликанты подыскивают ему соперников. Космические копы отправляют Глена на планету Заб 9, где используют в качестве пушечного мяса в войне с лошадями. Глен теряет на войне своего друга.

Битва за Заб 9

The Battle of Zab 9
Сезон: 05Серия: 09

Описание

Робот-компаньон заболел. Юмьюлак и Джесси отводят его к врачу. Доктор сообщает, что этот робот, похоже, имеет боевую программу и плохо себя чувствует из-за того, что не сражается с другими роботами. Репликанты подыскивают ему соперников. Космические копы отправляют Глена на планету Заб 9, где используют в качестве пушечного мяса в войне с лошадями. Глен теряет на войне своего друга.

Субтитры

rus__Rus.srt

rus__Rus.srt

00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:04,400

Пришло время последнего испытания.

00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:08,420

Я не думал, что с кем-то подружусь здесь.

00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,660

Я исправлю среброкопов изнутри.

00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,064

Это всё — херня! Нам не дадут стать среброкопами.

00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,120

Тогда ты и выходи!

00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:18,400

- Конец тебе, сынок.

- Твоя вина.

00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:24,190

С этого момента вы принадлежите

среброармии, сребромясо.

00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,901

СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ

СРЕБРОКОПЫ

00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:54,400

ЗАБ 9

ПЕРЕДОВАЯ ВОЙНЫ С ИГОМ

00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,390

Слушайте сюда.

00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:03,930

Мы приземлимся на планету через три минуты.

00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:06,310

Вы вступите в бой против Ига,

00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:09,650

инопланетной расы бездушных жестоких роботов.

00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:12,385

Эти психованные твари

разлетелись по всей галактике.

00:01:12,427 --> 00:01:15,376

Они присваивают запасы

и делают из жителей планет рабов.

00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:18,080

Томблр, сдуреть можно. Надо выбираться отсюда.

00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,330

Не говори со мной, мы не друзья.

00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,950

- И со мной не болтай.

- Я и не думал.

00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:26,670

Я пришёл не друзей заводить,

и уж точно не стану прикрывать твою спину.

00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:30,730

Я лишь хочу убивать лошадей

и носить их яйца как бусы на шее.

00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,840

Срань господня.

00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,110

Быстро ты переключился к военным трофеям.

00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:35,630

Оружие к бою.

00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,930

Знайте, я буду рядом с вами на каж...

00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,960

Подавитесь, парнокопытные мрази!

00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,620

- Охренеть!

- Бежим, бежим, бежим!

00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:25,710

Слышь, чел, прости.

Прости, что недавно просил отвалить.

00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,800

Я думаю, мы с тобой станем хорошими друзьями,

даже расскажем друг другу о себе.

00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,610

Охренеть!

00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,270

Даже договорить не дают.

00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:42,350

ОШИБКА

00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:47,190

Судя по нортоновскому антивирус-мометру,

Джей-кей Севенс заболел.

00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:50,920

Как только он сказал «буп», а не «бвап»,

я сразу заподозрил неладное.

00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:54,210

Вынесем, и закажем вывоз

крупногабаритного мусора.

00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,630

Может, позвонить Терри и Корво?

00:02:57,770 --> 00:03:01,940

Не, они смотрят четвёртого аватара

«Трёхдневные выходные Нави».

00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:06,080

Фильм идёт 72 часа, и они просили

не отвлекать их ни на секунду от Зои Салданы.

00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:10,086

А если Джей-Кей умрёт до их возвращения,

они ни за что не вернут нам телефоны.

00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:13,591

Вообще не круто, что они

забрали наши телефоны только потому,

00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,780

что мы с тобой никогда их не слушаемся.

00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,950

Фу, карты памяти

и болтики лезут из всех отверстий.

00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,760

БАЗА СРЕБРОСОЛДАТ

00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:30,540

Мои анусы! Мне оторвало все анусы!

00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:32,500

Для них мы цыплята на цак-цак.

00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,580

«Цыплята на цак-цак?»

00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,670

Ситуация настолько патовая,

что даже метафор в голове нет.

00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,090

Так ужасно.

00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:40,630

Продержимся подольше, и, может, сможем сбежать.

00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,350

Я не сбегу. Мы на задании.

Нужно одолеть Иго и освободить планету.

00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,600

Чел, эта война — полная хрень.

00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,457

Может.

00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,040

Но если мы покажем себя здесь,

то станем героями.

00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,940

Тогда нас возьмут в среброкопы.

00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,770

Серьёзно?

00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:54,630

Всё ещё хочешь стать среброкопом?

00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:57,070

Нас же отослали в жопу вселенной.

00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,330

Я не сдаюсь перед лицом трудностей.

00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,900

В отличии от тебя!

00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,990

И давно у тебя такие мысли, индюк ты напыщенный?

00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,410

Встряхнитесь, сребро-уроды!

00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,320

Мы его знаем. Он нас тренировал.

00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,000

Заткнись!

00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:15,170

Я новый командир вашего отряда,

и да, моя вторая голова погибла в бою.

00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:19,840

Он по-любому сейчас добавляет свои колкие,

поддерживающие комментарии с того света.

00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,130

Ну всё, хватит. У нас есть задание...

00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:26,480

Сребро-шпионы узнали

о тайном лошадином объекте с боеприпасами.

00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,730

Нам нужно два волонтёра для поиска базы,

проникновения на базу и активации маячка.

00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:32,890

Приводного маячка.

00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:35,805

Сигнал позволит нам

подорвать базу, уничтожить её,

00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:39,640

при этом не повредив минералы,

которые можно найти в окрестностях.

00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:44,060

Такие минералы как жижный камень,

звёздные рубины и энергетический радий.

00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,360

Они очень ценные.

00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:49,200

Врать не буду: при выполнении задания вы умрёте.

00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,540

Но такие слова вредят боевому духу,

00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,940

поэтому мы прозвали это задание

«Суперкрутое геройское время на расслабоне».

00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:58,260

Туда пойдут только суицидальные тупицы.

00:04:58,450 --> 00:04:59,980

Сержант, я вызываюсь!

00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,210

Томблр! Ты не слышал, что я пробубнил?

00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:05,090

Да, но я же говорил, надо показать себя.

00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,577

Рад слышать, рядовой.

00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,010

Нам нужен ещё один волонтёр...

00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:12,020

Может, лучший друг из учебного лагеря?

00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,590

Он ещё похож на высокую собачку.

00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,560

Кажется, он говорит с тобой.

00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,270

Ладно. Я тоже пойду.

00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:23,270

Вы все подохнете и будете гореть в аду!

00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,520

Ха! Как оказалось, он был живой.

00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,740

Но теперь-то он вот точно подох.

00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,190

БОЛЬНИЦА ИМЕНИ СВЯТОГО ДЖО

00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,250

Здравствуйте, рад снова видеть вашу семейку.

00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:43,197

Как я понял, Корво скончался

после того превращения в жижу пару лет назад.

00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,720

- Бедняга.

- Он живой и процветает.

00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,600

Ого, а я думал, ему кранты.

00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,100

Помогите, доктор. Наш робот приболел.

00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,460

Что ж, я не представляю, как лечить роботов,

00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,470

но как-то лечил женщину

по имени Алекса от молочницы.

00:05:55,510 --> 00:05:58,520

Робот — это всего лишь

человек без крови, осмотрим-ка его.

00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,330

Медсестра, самбу сюда.

00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,530

У вас в кабинете есть робот-пылесос?

00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,639

Мы оставляем себе всё,

что вытаскиваем из чужих задниц.

00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:15,870

Ого, здорово!

00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000

Я так и думал.

00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,566

Он боевой робот, а заболел,

00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,440

потому что не выполнял

своё прямое предназначение,

00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,988

говоря медицинскими терминами, не надирал жопы.

00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,158

Я рекомендую участвовать

в робо-боях как можно скорее.

00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:28,750

Для чего тогда рецепт?

00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,690

Там не рецепт, а мой игровой ник.

00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,830

Я могу отыметь вас в Call of Duty.

00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,600

Можешь уйти в любой момент.

00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,740

Хотелось бы, но вдруг тебе кто-нибудь надерёт зад.

00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:43,620

Я вообще и сам могу надрать себе зад.

00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:44,920

То есть зад отдать.

00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,900

Да пофиг! Вообще не важно!

00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,140

А вы знаете лейтенанта Зергеккио?

00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,808

Он должен провести нас через Радужное ущелье.

00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,910

А мы называем это место по-другому.

00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:56,200

Ущелье смерти.

00:06:56,330 --> 00:07:00,460

- Потому что там умирают?

- Нет, потому что там умирают.

00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,420

Ищите Зергея? Вон он там.

00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,694

Зергеккио?

00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,420

Вот блин!

00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,680

Что ж, самим нам не найти базу. Пойдём обратно.

00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,328

ЗОНА 4

00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:15,720

Да блин, чел. «Обратно» не там...

00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,720

Надеюсь, ты ищешь другой окоп.

00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:26,759

Умираю с голоду.

00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,860

Даже готов съесть пиявок с мошонки.

00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,804

Давай отдохнём.

00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,648

Маленькому Томблру нужно отойти.

00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,910

Маленькому?..

00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:35,370

Просто иди. Не надо шутить. Иди писай.

00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:29,670

- Я не искал там пиявок!

- Что за херня?

00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:31,910

Просто... Пойдём уже.

00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,240

ШКОЛА ИМЕНИ ДЖЕЙМСА ЭРЛА ДЖОНСА

СЕГОДНЯ: ЗАКРЫТЫЙ РОБО-ТУРНИР ДОЛИНЫ

00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:38,998

ЗАКРЫТЫЙ РОБО-ТУРНИР ДОЛИНЫ

00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:42,270

Надеюсь, Джей-Кей

сможет выпустить весь свой боевой дух.

00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,795

Я не хочу, чтобы роботы делали ему больно.

00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,270

Так, Джей-Кей, за дело.

00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,580

Джей-Кей вернул свою прыть!

00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,090

Мой единственный друг.

00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:12,760

Да брось, чел, что случилось?

Ты какой-то мрачный стал.

00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:13,650

Не хочу об этом.

00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:17,490

Ух ты, видимо, это и есть Радужное ущелье...

00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:20,680

И о чём говорил солдаты?

Здесь смертью даже не пахнет.

00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,166

Ложись!

00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:25,200

Впереди на возвышенности сидит снайпер.

00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,900

Да. И у снайпера есть пушка.

00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:28,570

Я Томблр. Это Чарджер.

00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,400

Выполняем задание сребро-штаба.

00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,400

Я Гекс. Это Квайгоновски.

00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,090

И вы никуда не попадёте, пока лошадиный урод там.

00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,090

Я вижу снайпера.

00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,700

Он на выступе.

00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,550

Теперь он смотрит на нас.

00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,700

Теперь он спускает курок.

00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,070

Теперь пули летят сюда. Вот чёрт!

00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:48,580

Прикройте меня, я смогу подкрасться и убить его.

00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,440

Но тебя застрелят!

У снайпера, вообще-то, есть оружие.

00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,418

Не переживайте.

00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:55,150

Я обучалась современным

методам подкрадывания.

00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,640

Сальто, ползки, цыпочки.

00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,220

Я уже слышал про цыпочки.

00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,470

Видимо, мощный метод.

00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:04,100

Дома меня ждёт невеста,

она беременна близнецами.

00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:06,690

Подстрелили!

00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,320

- Спасём её!

- Нет.

00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,760

Пойдёшь — и тоже сдохнешь.

00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,620

Он попал в голову!

00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:13,610

А теперь в плечи.

00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,610

И пальцы.

00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:19,470

Мне стреляли в голову, плечи, колени и пальцы.

00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,030

Да пошёл ты, поганая лошадь!

00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,800

И пусть твоя шикарная грива тоже на хрен идёт!

00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,420

Придумал.

00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:42,050

Ура!

00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:44,350

На нём были наглазники. Он нас не заметил.

00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,060

В ретроспективе, он сглупил.

00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,251

В перспективе тоже.

00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,230

Вот чёрт. Что там?

00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:52,990

Лошадиный дозор... Похоже, услышали взрыв.

00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,890

Остановились?

00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,000

Мы на минном поле.

00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,580

Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт. Я подохну!

00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,620

Мне так страшно, я ссусь от страха.

00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,573

Всё будет хорошо.

00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:21,243

Я уже видел такое в фильме

«Охотники за сокровищами» с Джорджем Клуни.

00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,680

Найдём что-нибудь такого же веса, как ты,

и подменим, как в фильме «Индиана Джонс».

00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:28,980

На счёт три, я вытащу тебя,

как в «Смертельном оружии».

00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:31,780

Я вообще ни хрена не понимаю твои отсылки!

00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:32,588

На счёт три.

00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,310

Раз... два, три!

00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:39,080

Ух ты, получилось!

00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:43,710

Я... я если что не обоссался. Я просто пошутил.

00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,200

Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт, бежим!

00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:58,420

Как хорошо, Джей-Кей Севенс выздоровел,

и мы выиграли 20 баксов в блинную.

00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,840

Блинчиков хватит на всех и каждого.

00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:05,350

О да! Хулу-лулу, врубай плейлист

«Ямю-микс», будем праздновать.

00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:14,610

Вот блин. Похоже, Джей-Кей

не утолил аппетит к уничтожению роботов.

00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,730

Ничего страшного.

00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:18,930

Подкинем ещё техники, чтобы он смог его утолить.

00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,950

Пресвятая Дженнифер Джейсон Лопес, всё!

00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:28,100

Он уничтожил все наши гаджеты.

00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:30,250

Блендер Терри хоть поборолся за жизнь.

00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,420

А что случится,

когда ему уже будет нечего убивать?

00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,487

Терри припрятал вибратор

на случай землетрясения.

00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,154

Неси!

00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,590

Где?.. Где я?

00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:52,687

Не надо.

00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,190

Не приближайтесь!

00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,880

Спокуха, всё путём.

00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:59,070

- Лошадки повсюду!

- Да, они нас спасли...

00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:02,290

Это их тайная база, но здесь нет боеприпасов.

00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,240

Всё верно, Томблр.

00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,223

Здесь безопасно.

00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:09,490

Кто ты? Я не знал,

что лошадки могут говорить по-нашему.

00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,830

«Лошадка» для нас оскорбительное слово.

00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,290

Мы — эквиниты.

00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,815

Меня зовут Лютик.

00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,750

Я возглавляю силы сопротивления.

00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,560

Да ну. Вы Иго, скверна мира!

00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,279

За мной.

00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:23,590

Пришло время снять наглазники и увидеть правду.

00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,470

Здесь нет солдат.

00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,720

Лишь семьи, беженцы.

00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:35,480

Здесь убежище для всех, кто лишился своих домов.

00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:38,150

Но вы же захватили эту планету!

00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:42,070

Среброкопы прилетели сюда,

чтобы воровать наши природные ресурсы.

00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:46,000

Легко всё присвоить,

когда уничтожил местных и прозвал их Игом.

00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,240

Но нам говорили совсем наоборот.

00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,440

Стоп, получается, военные лгут о своих целях?

00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,620

Предлагаю вам отдохнуть

и перекусить нашей лучшей едой.

00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,210

мы — мирный народ, а вы — наши гости.

00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,510

Сегодня я впервые доставляю еду на дом.

00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,730

Я так рад.

00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,500

Приветики, робо-дружок. Может, зайдёшь к нам?

00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,100

Мне запрещается входить в дома.

00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,640

Да ничего не будет.

00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:17,310

Мы хотим дать тебе чаевые.

00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,860

Давай, входи, здесь нечего бояться.

00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,400

- Что вы делаете?

- Прости, малыш.

00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:30,570

Нет, стойте, пожалуйста.

00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,690

- Ай, колёсико. Ай.

- Взяла пад си ю?

00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,540

Да. А ещё салат с папайей.

00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,630

Чёрт, овёс охрененный.

00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,260

С трудом верится.

00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,630

Война, наше задание. Всё ложь.

00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,290

Как я мог быть таким тупым дурнем?

00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,330

Я много раз пытался тебе сказать.

00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:56,060

Я сам превратился в то,

что пугало меня в среброкопах в детстве.

00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,140

Стал тупым, жестоким оккупантом.

00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,500

Иронично, да?

00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,688

Ты никогда не боялся говорить мне правду,

00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:03,150

надо было довериться тебе.

00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,967

Какой же я дубина!

00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,730

Я тоже другой.

00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:09,500

На самом деле я человек с Земли,

00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:12,200

Я обожаю «Форсаж», и меня запустили в космос.

00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,990

Среброкопы повесили на меня убийство,

и хотели убить меня,

00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:18,260

но я сбежал, изменил свою внешность,

чтобы попасть в сребро-лагерь.

00:15:18,313 --> 00:15:20,460

Планировал подняться по карьерной лестнице,

00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,460

сблизиться с предавшими меня копами

00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:23,652

и отомстить.

00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,340

Меня даже зовут не Додж. Я Глен Кончстайн.

00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,130

Глен... Кончстин?

00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:31,090

Нет. Уши тебе на что? Я только что сказал «Кончстайн».

00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,370

Давай свалим.

00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,350

Покинем планету, начнём новую жизнь,

00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:36,957

в которой не будет места для мести среброкопам.

00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,620

Для начала мы уничтожим маячок.

00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,376

Томблр, нет!

00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,837

Сдохни! Сдохни! Сдохни!

00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:42,462

Что?

00:15:42,504 --> 00:15:46,280

Уничтожение маячка отправляет сигнал

в сребро-штаб, и они сразу же посылают бойцов.

00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,110

Я читал руководство, пока срал.

00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:50,110

Вот те на! Надо сваливать!

00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:53,060

Сребро-солдаты на походе.

00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,740

Вам нужно выбираться отсюда.

00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,476

Я отведу всех к главному входу.

00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:58,880

Нет! Оттуда они и придут. Есть другой выход?

00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,080

Когда-то был.

00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:03,066

Он обрушился во время бомбардировки.

00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,170

Что будем делать?

00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:07,750

У моей Honda S2000 было 250 лошадиных сил.

00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:10,300

Но со всеми эквинитами, силы в два раза больше.

00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:11,720

Что предлагаешь?

00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,720

Вытащим камень сами!

00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,980

Убейте всех копытных!

00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,190

Хья! Хья!

00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,320

Хья! Хья!

00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:33,810

Хья!

00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,440

Слишком тяжело!

00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,580

Вы сможете! Хья!

00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,870

И так тяжело, а ты ещё со своими «хья».

00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:41,040

Чёрт, простите.

00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,090

Наверное, и оптика хреновая.

00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,480

Тянем!

00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:53,720

Можно пройти!

00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:01,250

Серебряные здесь.

00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,649

Лютик, уходите...

00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:03,961

Мы задержим их.

00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,350

Видел, Кончстайн?

00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,500

- Нет!

- Вот чёрт.

00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,830

В меня попали.

00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:29,130

Держись. Я вытащу тебя отсюда.

00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,760

Помоги эквинитам...

00:17:31,190 --> 00:17:33,170

Я в одиночку задержу солдат.

00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:34,950

Только пообещай мне:

00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:39,010

поднимись по званию

и уничтожь всю серебряную систему!

00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:39,950

Обязательно.

00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,180

Беги!

00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:47,350

Я знал, что жалкому Голо

ни за что не стать среброкопом.

00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,230

Вот чёрт.

00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:50,960

Ай! Ай!

00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:53,780

- Хватит!

- Ты хватит!

00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,842

Мы на границе территории конюшен.

00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:19,010

Здесь безопасно.

00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:26,810

Но тебе нельзя её пересекать.

00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:28,253

Я понимаю, Лютик.

00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:29,588

Прощай.

00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:40,450

Ни одно приложение: ни Uber доставка,

ни хулулемон — не выезжают на наш адрес,

00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,740

потому что их роботы исчезают у нас.

00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,210

О нет! Он истекает маслом!

00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,030

Держись, Джей-кей, не смей умирать.

00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,149

Нет, стой.

00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,880

Фу! Масло-то амниотическое!

00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,920

Он не умирает, он рожает!

00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,440

Так. Севенс, тужься на счёт три.

00:18:57,710 --> 00:18:59,700

Раз, два, три!

00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:03,010

Тужься, Джей-кей Севенс, тужься, тужься!

00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:05,520

Я вижу его, потужься ещё раз.

00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,520

У тебя получится. Тужься!

00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,310

Там... ребёнок?

00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,570

Нет, это айфон следующего года выпуска!

00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,320

Я хочу убрать провод!

00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,160

Даже не верится.

00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,740

Всё это время Джей-Кея лишь тошнило по утрам.

00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,490

Он, наверное, хотел драться,

00:19:24,518 --> 00:19:27,300

потому что из-за беременности

зашкаливали гормоны.

00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,370

Мы вынесли важный урок:

00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:32,670

нельзя доверять врачам,

у которых кабинет рядом с кафешкой.

00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,220

Прости, Томблр.

00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,910

Мне не выбраться с планеты,

00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,180

и к среброкопам не проникнуть.

00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:47,640

Чарджер!

00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:49,880

В костюмах сребро-швалей есть прослушка.

00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,020

Мы слышали все твои слова

об уничтожении среброкопов.

00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,549

Смелости-то сколько.

00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:57,140

Думает побороть целую армию.

00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,820

Среброкопы, свалите, хрен вам в сребро-жопу!

00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:04,990

Он спутал нас с среброкопами.

00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:05,600

Нет?

00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:09,450

Златокопы!

00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,230

Всё верно.

00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,400

Нас создали держать среброкопов в узде.

00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,630

Твой друг прав. Они прогнили насквозь.

00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:17,760

Пора уничтожить всю серебряную организацию.

00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,170

Просите помочь?

00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,350

Что скажешь?

00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:24,640

Хватит ли тебе прыти стать... Златокопом?

00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,300

Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,620

ВОТ ЧЁРТ!

ГЛЕН ТЕПЕРЬ ЗЛАТОКОП. О ДА!

eng__Eng.srt

eng__Eng.srt

00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,172

{\an8}Oh! Ah...

00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,425

{\an8}I didn't think I'd bond

with anyone out here.

00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,552

{\an8}I'm gonna fix the Silvercops

from the inside.

00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,887

{\an8}It's bullshit. They won't

let us become Silvercops.

00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,515

{\an8}Then you tap out!

00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183

{\an8}You fucked up, son.

00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,309

{\an8}That you did.

00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,731

{\an8}Your asses belong to the Silver Army,

00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,190

{\an8}you Silvergrunts.

00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,561

Listen up, grunts.

00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,938

We'll be making planetfall

in T-minus three minutes.

00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,316

You'll be joining the war

against the Scourge,

00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,652

an alien race of soulless,

ruthless automatons.

00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,197

These psychotic fucks

are spreading across the galaxy,

00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323

{\an8}pillaging resources

00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325

{\an8}and enslaving populations.

00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,952

Tomblr, th-th-th-this is insane.

We have to get outta here.

00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330

Don't talk to me, Dodge.

You aren't my friend.

00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,957

- Don't fuckin' talk to me either.

- I wasn't going to.

00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,084

I'm not here to make friends,

00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,543

and I definitely won't have your back

00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,669

when we get into battle.

00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,213

All I care about is killing Horseys

00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,590

and wearing their balls

on a chain around my neck!

00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,883

Jesus, Zobert.

00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,052

You went from zero

to trophy-kill way too fast.

00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,637

Lock and load, grunts.

00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,806

Just know that I will be

with you every step of the...

00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,908

Eat shit, you four-legged fucks!

00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,501

- Oh, my God.

- Run, run, run!

00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310

Look, I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry for telling you

00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,770

to fuck off, like, a minute ago.

00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,981

I-I really feel like we-we're

gonna become good friends now

00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,691

and maybe we'll even share our backstory.

00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609

Oh, my God!

00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,278

No one can finish a sentence around here!

00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,456

{\an8}According to the Norton

Antivirus Malware-mometer,

00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,083

{\an8}JK Sevens is sick.

00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,002

{\an8}As soon as he said

"boop" instead of "bwap,"

00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,920

{\an8}I knew something was wrong.

00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,463

{\an8}Well, let's put him on the curb

00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,215

{\an8}and schedule a bulky item pickup.

00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,635

{\an8}Should we call Terry and Korvo?

00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,388

{\an8}No. They're seeing Avatar 4:

The Na'vi Three Day Weekend

00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,848

{\an8}at the AMC Extended Stay.

00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974

{\an8}That movie's 72 hours long,

00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,392

{\an8}and they made us promise not to interrupt

00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977

{\an8}a single Zoë Saldana second.

00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,729

{\an8}Well, if they come home and JK's dead,

00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,731

{\an8}we'll never get our phones back.

00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,650

{\an8}It's so uncool of them

to take our phones away

00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,653

{\an8}just because we never, ever

do anything they tell us to do.

00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,950

{\an8}Agh! He's got SD cards and

screws comin' out both ends.

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750

My buttholes!

00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,543

They blew off all my buttholes!

00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,503

We're all just chickens for the choo-choo.

00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,588

"Chickens for the choo-choo"?

00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,006

Oh, this situation's so FUBAR,

00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,674

I can't think of clichés.

00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,092

It's horrifying.

00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,637

If we can survive long enough,

maybe we can escape.

00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,096

{\an8}I'm not escaping. We have a mission.

00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224

{\an8}We have to defeat the Scourge

and free this planet.

00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,601

{\an8}Dude, this war is bullshit.

00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770

{\an8}Maybe. But if we prove our mettle here,

00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063

{\an8}we'll be heroes,

00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,814

{\an8}and then they'll have

to make us Silvercops.

00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:52,899

{\an8}Are you serious?

00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,525

{\an8}How could you still want to be a Silvercop

00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,028

{\an8}after they shipped us

to the ass pit of the universe?

00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,364

{\an8}Because I don't quit

when things get tough, Dodge.

00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,865

{\an8}Though I guess you do!

00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492

How long have you had

that in your back pocket,

00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993

you turkey-lookin' motherfucker?

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,413

Look alive, Silver shits.

00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,374

That's the guy from before.

That's the guy from training.

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793

- Shut up! Shut up!

- I'm the new CO of this unit

00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,088

and, yes, my second head

was killed in action.

00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,132

{\an8}I'm sure he's interjecting

something snarky and supportive

00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,842

{\an8}from the great beyond.

00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,136

{\an8}Okay, enough of that.

We got a mission, people.

00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,055

{\an8}Our Silver Spies have

learned about a secret

00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,391

{\an8}Horsey munitions facility.

00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,102

We need two volunteers to locate the base,

00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688

infiltrate it, and activate this.

00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,147

A homing beacon.

00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,733

The signal will allow us

to precision bomb the base,

00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,194

obliterating it without

damaging the minerals

00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,570

in the surrounding area.

00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,322

{\an8}Minerals like Goo Rock,

00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407

{\an8}Star Rubies,

00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,033

{\an8}and Gatoradium.

00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,368

Valuable shit.

00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,869

I'm not gonna lie,

00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,205

this is a suicide mission.

00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,541

But apparently that term

is bad for morale,

00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001

so we're calling it

00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,795

"Super Cool Chill Hero Time" instead.

00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,214

Whatever dumbass goes on this

has a death wish.

00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,882

Sergeant, I'd like to volunteer!

00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218

Tomblr! Did you not hear

what I just muttered?

00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,929

Yeah, but like I said,

we have to prove our mettle.

00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:09,017

Happy to hear it, Private.

Now we just need one more.

00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,978

Perhaps a best friend from bootcamp?

00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857

Who maybe also looks like a tall dog?

00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,568

I think he's talking to you.

00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,278

Fine. I'm in, too.

00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,782

You're all gonna die

and rot in hell!

00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,618

Ha! Guess he wasn't as dead as I thought.

00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,747

But he's definitely dead now.

00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130

Hey hey, great to see

the Opposites family again.

00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757

I can only assume Korvo died

00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051

from the whole turning to

goo thing a few years ago.

00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720

- Poor bastard.

- No, he's alive and totally fine.

00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,513

Wow. I was sure he was a goner.

00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,099

Please help us, doctor. Our robo is sick.

00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,435

Well, I have no idea how to fix robots,

00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355

but I did once treat a woman named Alexa

for a yeast infection.

00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,608

A machine's just a person with no blood,

so let's take a look.

00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,652

Hmm.

00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,279

Nurse, bring in the Samba.

00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,448

You have a robot vacuum for the office?

00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117

We get to keep whatever

we remove from people's butts.

00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875

Whoa, that was awesome!

00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,001

Just as I suspected.

00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586

He's a battle-bot, and he's sick

00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,381

because he hasn't been

fulfilling his core function of,

00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,841

in strict medical terms,

kicking robot ass.

00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,135

I'm recommending JK start battle-boting

00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,345

as soon as possible.

00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763

What's this prescription then?

00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640

That's not a prescription.

It's a gamer tag.

00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,017

In case you ever want

to get owned in Call of Duty.

00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,605

Feel free to turn back anytime.

00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,065

I wish I could,

00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650

but someone has to keep

your ass from getting killed.

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403

I am perfectly capable

of killin' my own ass.

00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,821

I mean, assing my own kill.

00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906

I mean whatever! It doesn't matter!

00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,034

Uh, any of you know Lieutenant Zergecchio?

00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202

He's supposed to guide us through

00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,745

the Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.

00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914

Oh, we have a special name for that place.

00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124

The Death Gulch.

00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,625

'Cause people die there?

00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,461

No, because people die there.

00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,422

If you want Zergey, he's over there.

00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,631

Zergecchio?

00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,092

Oh, geez!

00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,429

Well, we can't find this base

if we don't have a guide.

00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,680

Better head back.

00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852

C-c-come on, man. That's not back.

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,728

You better be looking for another trench.

00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,689

Ugh.

00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,865

God, I'm starving. I'd kill for a scrotum

leech right now.

00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451

Let's take a break.

I have to use the little Tomblr's room.

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,910

The little... Ugh.

00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,371

Just go. Don't try

to make it funny. Just pee.

00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,466

I wasn't looking for scrotum leeches.

00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,675

What the fuck happened to you?

00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,719

Let's... Let's just go.

00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,937

Hopefully, JK can get

some of the battle-boting

00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,271

out of his system here.

00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,649

I just don't want these robos to hurt him.

00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,276

Okay, JK. Do your thing.

00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,585

JK's got his mojo back!

00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,089

He was my only friend!

00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,300

Come on, dude. What happened back there?

00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635

You're all haunted and shit now.

00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844

I don't want to talk about it.

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,682

Wow, this must be

Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.

00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,183

I don't know what those grunts

we're talking about.

00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,685

I'm not getting death vibes at all.

00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061

Get down!

00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,106

There's a Horsey sniper

on the outcropping up ahead.

00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,899

Yeah. And that sniper's got a gun!

00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,442

I'm Tomblr. This is Charger.

00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,403

On a special mission from Silver HQ.

00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405

Name's Gex. This here's Quigonowski.

00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489

And you're not going anywhere

00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,074

with that Horsey scumbitch out there.

00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410

I can see the sniper.

00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703

He's on the high ridge.

00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,871

Now he's lookin' right at us.

00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,707

Now he's pulling the trigger.

00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,750

Now the bullets are coming

this way. Oh, shit!

00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,502

If you guys cover me,

00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,588

I can sneak up to the perch

and take him out.

00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,173

But you'll get shot!

The sniper, to remind you, has a gun!

00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,301

Don't worry. I've been specially trained

00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,094

in the latest sneaking techniques.

00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,555

Somersaults, baby crawls, tippy toes.

00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,223

I've heard of tippy toes before.

00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,474

Supposed to really be something.

00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,268

I also have a fiancée back home,

00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,103

and she's pregnant with twins.

00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,689

Ah! I'm hit!

00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190

- We gotta save her!

- No!

00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817

You go out there and you're dead too.

00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,527

Ah! He got me in the head.

00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,613

Now he got my shoulders!

00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615

And my toes!

00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,452

I've been shot in the head,

shoulders, knees, and toes!

00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038

Fuck you, you Horsey motherclomper!

00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,749

Fuck you and your gorgeous, shiny mane!

00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,423

Hmm. I have an idea.

00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,016

Yeah!

00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,352

He had blinders on. Never saw us comin'.

00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062

In hindsight, not a smart move.

00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,563

Also, inside sight.

00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,232

Ah, shit. What's that?

00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,525

It's Horsey patrol.

00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,069

They must have heard the explosion.

00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,036

Why'd they stop?

00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,001

We must be in a minefield.

00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,382

Shit, shit, shit! I'm gonna die!

00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,425

I'm so scared, I'm pissing myself.

00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,510

It's gonna be okay. Relax.

00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928

I saw this exact same thing happen

00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,888

in George Clooney's best movie,

The Monuments Men.

00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973

We just have to find something

of equal weight

00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,225

and then we switch you out with it,

00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,810

Raiders of the Lost Ark style.

00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,770

On the count of three,

I'm gonna pull you off

00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,146

just like they did in Lethal Weapon.

00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,649

I don't understand any

of the references you're making!

00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733

On three.

00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,277

One... two, three!

00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,074

Wow, it worked!

00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,909

I, uh, I didn't piss myself,

00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452

by the way. That, that was a joke.

00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,205

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Run!

00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,965

So glad we cured JK Sevens and

00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091

won a $25

00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426

Cracker Barrel gift card.

00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845

That's country fried pancakes

for everyone.

00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805

Hell yeah. Hulu's HuluLulu,

00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,349

play Yumyulack's "Yumyu Mix" to celebrate.

00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,647

Oh, geez.

00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,525

I guess JK still has an appetite

for robo destruction.

00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,735

That's no big deal.

00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,653

We can toss him a few more electronics

00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,071

to get it out of his system.

00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,953

Holy Jennifer Jason Lopez, that was it!

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,997

JK destroyed every gadget in the house.

00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,166

Terry's Vitamix actually put up

a decent fight.

00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,419

What happens when we run

out of stuff for him to kill?

00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,214

I think Terry keeps a Hitachi Wand

00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,299

in the earthquake supplies.

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633

Get it!

00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,596

Where? Where am I?

00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,190

Stay back. Don't take another clop!

00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,775

Relax, T, it's okay.

00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,526

There are Horseys everywhere!

00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111

I know. They rescued us.

00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,404

This is that secret base,

00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,156

but it's not a munitions facility.

00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,240

That's right, Tomblr.

00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,327

You're safe here.

00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578

Who are you?

00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205

I didn't know Horseys

could speak standard.

00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,832

"Horsey" is a derogatory slur.

00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,292

We are the Equinites.

00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,877

My name is Buttercup.

00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,796

I'm the leader of the resistance.

00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,005

Oh, please.

00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,507

You're the scourge on this world!

00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,594

Come. It's time to remove

your blinders and see the truth.

00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,475

There are no soldiers here.

00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,727

Just families, refugees.

00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,479

This is a sanctuary

00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,481

for those who've been

driven from their homes.

00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,275

But you were the ones

who invaded this planet.

00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,152

The Silvercops are the ones who came here

00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071

to steal our natural resources.

00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,240

Easy to take when you

exterminate the locals

00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866

and label them a scourge.

00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,244

But that's the total opposite

of what we were told.

00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,330

Wait, does the military

lie about its motives?

00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,625

I suggest you rest and help

yourself to our finest feedbags.

00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,212

We are a peaceful people,

and you are our guests.

00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,511

Today is my first day

delivering food for Grub Bud.

00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,804

{\an8}I am so excited.

00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,516

{\an8}Hey there, robo pal.

Why don't you come on inside?

00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,102

I am not supposed to enter homes.

00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645

{\an8}No, it's fine.

00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,314

{\an8}We just wanna give you a tip.

00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,859

{\an8}Come on in. Don't be afraid.

00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,029

What are you doing?

00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,406

Sorry, little guy.

00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,578

No, wait, please.

00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165

Ow, that's my wheel. Ow.

00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,584

{\an8}You got the Pad See Ew, right?

00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544

{\an8}Yeah. And the papaya salad too.

00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,171

Mm.

00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,632

Damn, these oats are the shit.

00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,259

Oh, I can't believe it.

00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636

The war, our mission, it's all a lie.

00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,389

How could I be such a dumb sucker?

00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,266

I mean, I tried to tell you

multiple times.

00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,226

I mean, I've become the

very thing that terrified me

00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061

about the Silvercops when I was a kid.

00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,147

A stupid, violent occupier.

00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,356

Pretty ironic, huh?

00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,775

You've always been totally honest with me,

00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,152

and I should have trusted you.

00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820

Oh, I'm such an idiot.

00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,489

I'm not who you think I am.

00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617

I'm actually a human from the planet Earth

00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,202

who loves the Fast and Furious franchise

and was shot into space.

00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,787

Some Silvercops framed me for murder

00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,080

and they were going to kill me,

00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,624

but I escaped and changed my appearance

00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,125

so I could enlist in Silver Bootcamp.

00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,461

My plan has always been

to work my way up the ranks

00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338

so I could get close

to the Silvers who betrayed me

00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,547

and take my revenge.

00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,049

My name isn't even Dodge.

00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342

It's Glen Kumstein.

00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,135

Glen Kum-steen?

00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,595

No. What are you, reading it off a page?

00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,096

I just said it now. Kumstein.

00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,306

Let's get outta here, man.

00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350

Let's leave this planet

and start new lives

00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,769

that are not defined by getting

revenge on the Silvercops.

00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,188

- First, we destroy this homing beacon.

- Tomblr, no!

00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,358

Die! Die! Die! What?

00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,485

Destroying that automatically

signaled Silver HQ

00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,278

to send a strike team

to these coordinates.

00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113

I read the manual

when I was taking a shit!

00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,115

Oh, my stars and Marys, we gotta go!

00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,826

Silvergrunts are on the way.

00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,662

We have to get your people out now.

00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163

I'll herd everyone

toward the main entrance.

00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,748

No! That's where they'll be coming.

00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,999

Is there another way out?

00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,084

There used to be.

00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,920

It collapsed during

a bombing strike last winter.

00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,171

What are we gonna do?

00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,756

Back on Earth, my Honda S2000

00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,758

had about 250 horsepower.

00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:08,968

But with all the Equinites here,

00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302

we have at least double that.

00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,720

What are you suggesting?

00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722

Let's yank off these rocks!

00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983

Kill everything that trots.

00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,449

Yah! Yah!

00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,284

Yah!

00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,661

It's too heavy.

00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,204

You can do it. Yah!

00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,873

It's hard enough

without you yelling, "Yah."

00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,250

Shit, sorry.

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544

God, I bet the optics

on this are terrible too.

00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,087

Pull!

00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,721

It's open!

00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,395

The Silvers are here!

00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479

Buttercup, keep going.

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,856

We'll buy you some time.

00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958

- You see that, Kumstein?

- Oh!

00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501

- No!

- Oh, shit.

00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,837

Oh, they zapped me.

00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,131

H-h-hold on. I-I can get you outta here.

00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758

Help the Equinites to safety.

00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,469

I'll hold off the grunts by myself.

00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,095

Just make me one promise.

00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,139

Rise up the ranks and take down

00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,224

the entire Silver system.

00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,185

- I'll do it.

- Go!

00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,898

I knew a filthy holo like you

00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357

could never be a Silvercop.

00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,568

Oh, shit!

00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071

Ow! Ow! Ah!

00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,781

- Quit it.

- You quit it!

00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,971

This is the border of Stable Territory.

00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,098

We should be safe here.

00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,814

But you can proceed no further.

00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357

I understand, Buttercup.

00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,525

Goodbye.

00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,949

None of the apps,

00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,951

{\an8}not Postmates, UberEats, or even HuluLemon

00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,369

will deliver to us anymore

00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,746

because their robots keep

disappearing at our house.

00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125

Oh, no! He's gushing oil!

00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,960

Hang in there, JK. Don't die on us.

00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,461

No, wait.

00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880

Ew! This oil is amniotic.

00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,924

He's not dying, he's giving birth!

00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,511

Okay, Sevens. You're gonna push on three.

00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,471

One, two, three!

00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,016

Push, JK Sevens! Push! Push!

00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,519

Ah! I can see it.

Just one more big push, JK.

00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,604

You got this! One more!

00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316

Is... Is it a baby?

00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,570

No, it's next year's EyePhone!

00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321

Oh, I wanna cut the cord!

00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,242

I can't believe it.

00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,744

All this time,

JK just had morning sickness.

00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,496

He must have only wanted to battle-bot

00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,499

because he was so hormonal

from his pregnancy.

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376

Well, we've learned a valuable lesson.

00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,170

Never trust a doctor who shares an office

00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,671

with Hometown Buffet.

00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,219

I'm sorry, Tomblr.

00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,096

I don't think I'm ever

getting off this planet,

00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,182

much less infiltrating

the Silvercops again.

00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,728

Charger!

00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,730

Every Silvergrunt suit

has a recording device.

00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,899

We heard everything you said

00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,026

about taking down the Silvercops.

00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,987

The balls on this guy.

Thinks he's a one-man army.

00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,947

You Silvercops can go fuck yourselves

00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,824

in your stinking Silver asses!

00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,661

He thinks we're Silvercops.

00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,746

You're not?

00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,458

Goldcops.

00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,252

That's right. We were created

to keep the Silvercops in line.

00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,420

Your friend was spot on.

00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755

They're rotten to the core.

00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,841

The entire Silver organization

has to go down.

00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,384

And you want my help?

00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,636

What do you say?

00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,679

Do you have what it takes to be...

00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,640

a Goldcop?

eng__SDH.srt

eng__SDH.srt

00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,170

{\an8}This is it. The final trial.

00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,172

{\an8}Oh! Ah...

00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,425

{\an8}I didn't think I'd bond

with anyone out here.

00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,552

{\an8}I'm gonna fix the Silvercops

from the inside.

00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,887

{\an8}It's bullshit. They won't

let us become Silvercops.

00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,515

{\an8}- Then you tap out!

- [body whacking]

00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183

{\an8}- [Terry screaming]

- You fucked up, son.

00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,309

{\an8}That you did.

00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,731

{\an8}Your asses belong to the Silver Army,

00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,190

{\an8}you Silvergrunts.

00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,239

[♪ adventurous orchestral music playing]

00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:52,844

{\an8}[♪ suspenseful music playing]

00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:59,309

- [lasers blasting]

- [explosions booming]

00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,561

Listen up, grunts.

00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,938

We'll be making planetfall

in T-minus three minutes.

00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,316

You'll be joining the war

against the Scourge,

00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,652

an alien race of soulless,

ruthless automatons.

00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,197

These psychotic fucks

are spreading across the galaxy,

00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,323

{\an8}pillaging resources

00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325

{\an8}and enslaving populations.

00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,952

Tomblr, th-th-th-this is insane.

We have to get outta here.

00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330

Don't talk to me, Dodge.

You aren't my friend.

00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,957

- Don't fuckin' talk to me either.

- I wasn't going to.

00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,084

I'm not here to make friends,

00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,543

and I definitely won't have your back

00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,669

when we get into battle.

00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,213

All I care about is killing Horseys

00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,590

and wearing their balls

on a chain around my neck!

00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,883

Jesus, Zobert.

00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,052

You went from zero

to trophy-kill way too fast.

00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,637

Lock and load, grunts.

00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,806

Just know that I will be

with you every step of the...

00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,475

- [explosion booms]

- [all scream]

00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,605

[ship crashes]

00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,108

[high-pitched ringing]

00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,908

Eat shit, you four-legged fucks!

00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,701

- [screams]

- [horses neighing]

00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,121

[♪ dramatic music playing]

00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,501

- Oh, my God.

- Run, run, run!

00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,587

- [all panting]

- [explosions booming]

00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:10,880

[horse whinnies]

00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,426

[♪ dramatic music continues]

00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,678

[horse whinnies]

00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,932

- [horse whinnies]

- [laser blasts]

00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310

Look, I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry for telling you

00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,770

to fuck off, like, a minute ago.

00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,981

I-I really feel like we-we're

gonna become good friends now

00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,691

and maybe we'll even share our backstory.

00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609

- [head explodes]

- Oh, my God!

00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,278

No one can finish a sentence around here!

00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,031

[bodies squish]

00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,033

[♪ bright music playing]

00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,327

{\an8}[JK Sevens beeps]

00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,456

{\an8}According to the Norton

Antivirus Malware-mometer,

00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,083

{\an8}JK Sevens is sick.

00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,002

{\an8}As soon as he said

"boop" instead of "bwap,"

00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,920

{\an8}I knew something was wrong.

00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,463

{\an8}Well, let's put him on the curb

00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,215

{\an8}and schedule a bulky item pickup.

00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,466

{\an8}[Pupa groans]

00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,635

{\an8}Should we call Terry and Korvo?

00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,388

{\an8}No. They're seeing Avatar 4:

The Na'vi Three Day Weekend

00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,848

{\an8}at the AMC Extended Stay.

00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974

{\an8}That movie's 72 hours long,

00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,392

{\an8}and they made us promise not to interrupt

00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977

{\an8}a single Zoë Saldana second.

00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,729

{\an8}Well, if they come home and JK's dead,

00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,731

{\an8}we'll never get our phones back.

00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,650

{\an8}It's so uncool of them

to take our phones away

00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,653

{\an8}just because we never, ever

do anything they tell us to do.

00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,655

{\an8}- [JK Sevens belches]

- [all yelp]

00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,950

{\an8}Agh! He's got SD cards and

screws comin' out both ends.

00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,160

{\an8}[belches]

00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750

[screaming] My buttholes!

00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,543

They blew off all my buttholes!

00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,503

We're all just chickens for the choo-choo.

00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,588

"Chickens for the choo-choo"?

00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,006

Oh, this situation's so FUBAR,

00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,674

I can't think of clichés.

00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,092

It's horrifying.

00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,637

If we can survive long enough,

maybe we can escape.

00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,096

{\an8}I'm not escaping. We have a mission.

00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,224

{\an8}We have to defeat the Scourge

and free this planet.

00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,601

{\an8}Dude, this war is bullshit.

00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770

{\an8}Maybe. But if we prove our mettle here,

00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063

{\an8}we'll be heroes,

00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,814

{\an8}and then they'll have

to make us Silvercops.

00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:52,899

{\an8}Are you serious?

00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,525

{\an8}How could you still want to be a Silvercop

00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,028

{\an8}after they shipped us

to the ass pit of the universe?

00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,364

{\an8}Because I don't quit

when things get tough, Dodge.

00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,865

{\an8}Though I guess you do!

00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,492

How long have you had

that in your back pocket,

00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993

you turkey-lookin' motherfucker?

00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,413

Look alive, Silver shits.

00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,374

That's the guy from before.

That's the guy from training.

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793

- Shut up! Shut up!

- I'm the new CO of this unit

00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,088

and, yes, my second head

was killed in action.

00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,132

{\an8}I'm sure he's interjecting

something snarky and supportive

00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,842

{\an8}from the great beyond.

00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,136

{\an8}Okay, enough of that.

We got a mission, people.

00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,055

{\an8}Our Silver Spies have

learned about a secret

00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,391

{\an8}Horsey munitions facility.

00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,102

We need two volunteers to locate the base,

00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,688

infiltrate it, and activate this.

00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,147

A homing beacon.

00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,733

The signal will allow us

to precision bomb the base,

00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,194

obliterating it without

damaging the minerals

00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,570

in the surrounding area.

00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,322

{\an8}Minerals like Goo Rock,

00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,407

{\an8}Star Rubies,

00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,033

{\an8}and Gatoradium.

00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,368

Valuable shit.

00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,869

I'm not gonna lie,

00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,205

this is a suicide mission.

00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,541

But apparently that term

is bad for morale,

00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,001

so we're calling it

00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,795

"Super Cool Chill Hero Time" instead.

00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,214

Whatever dumbass goes on this

has a death wish.

00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,882

Sergeant, I'd like to volunteer!

00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218

Tomblr! Did you not hear

what I just muttered?

00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,929

Yeah, but like I said,

we have to prove our mettle.

00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:09,017

Happy to hear it, Private.

Now we just need one more.

00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,978

Perhaps a best friend from bootcamp?

00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857

Who maybe also looks like a tall dog?

00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,568

I think he's talking to you.

00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,278

Fine. I'm in, too.

00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,782

You're all gonna die

and rot in hell! [screams]

00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,618

Ha! Guess he wasn't as dead as I thought.

00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,747

But he's definitely dead now.

00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130

Hey hey, great to see

the Opposites family again.

00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757

I can only assume Korvo died

00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051

from the whole turning to

goo thing a few years ago.

00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720

- Poor bastard.

- No, he's alive and totally fine.

00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,513

Wow. I was sure he was a goner.

00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,099

Please help us, doctor. Our robo is sick.

00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,435

Well, I have no idea how to fix robots,

00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,355

but I did once treat a woman named Alexa

for a yeast infection.

00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,608

A machine's just a person with no blood,

so let's take a look.

00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,318

[clanking]

00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,652

- [JK Sevens farts]

- Hmm.

00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,279

Nurse, bring in the Samba.

00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,448

You have a robot vacuum for the office?

00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117

We get to keep whatever

we remove from people's butts.

00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,620

- [vacuum whirs]

- [JK Sevens beeping]

00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,081

[drill whirs]

00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875

Whoa, that was awesome!

00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,001

Just as I suspected.

00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586

He's a battle-bot, and he's sick

00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,381

because he hasn't been

fulfilling his core function of,

00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,841

in strict medical terms,

kicking robot ass.

00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,135

I'm recommending JK start battle-boting

00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,345

as soon as possible.

00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763

What's this prescription then?

00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640

That's not a prescription.

It's a gamer tag.

00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,017

In case you ever want

to get owned in Call of Duty.

00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,478

- [lasers blasting]

- [explosions booming]

00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,605

Feel free to turn back anytime.

00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,065

I wish I could,

00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,650

but someone has to keep

your ass from getting killed.

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403

I am perfectly capable

of killin' my own ass.

00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,821

I mean, assing my own kill.

00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906

I mean whatever! It doesn't matter!

00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,034

Uh, any of you know Lieutenant Zergecchio?

00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202

He's supposed to guide us through

00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,745

the Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.

00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,914

Oh, we have a special name for that place.

00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124

The Death Gulch.

00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,625

'Cause people die there?

00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,461

No, because people die there.

00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,422

If you want Zergey, he's over there.

00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,631

Zergecchio?

00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,092

- [♪ dramatic music playing]

- Oh, geez!

00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,635

[Tomblr dry heaving]

00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,429

Well, we can't find this base

if we don't have a guide.

00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,680

Better head back.

00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,852

C-c-come on, man. That's not back.

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,728

You better be looking for another trench.

00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,689

Ugh.

00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,865

God, I'm starving. I'd kill for a scrotum

leech right now.

00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451

Let's take a break.

I have to use the little Tomblr's room.

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,910

The little... Ugh.

00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,371

Just go. Don't try

to make it funny. Just pee.

00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,713

- [zipper buzzes]

- [urine trickling]

00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,340

- [sighs]

- [urine spouting]

00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,760

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,887

[horse snorts]

00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,848

[♪ tense music playing]

00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,725

[horse whinnies]

00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,059

[Tomblr grunts]

00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,311

[punches thudding]

00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,440

[hooves thudding]

00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,276

- [Tomblr panting]

- [horse whinnies]

00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,743

- [Tomblr yells]

- [horse whinnies]

00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,211

[Tomblr whimpers]

00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,466

I wasn't looking for scrotum leeches.

00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,675

What the fuck happened to you?

00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,719

Let's... Let's just go.

00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,266

{\an8}[birds chirping]

00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,937

Hopefully, JK can get

some of the battle-boting

00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,271

out of his system here.

00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,649

I just don't want these robos to hurt him.

00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,276

Okay, JK. Do your thing.

00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,820

[JK Sevens beeping excitedly]

00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,906

[♪ exciting music playing]

00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,875

[JK Sevens beeping]

00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,585

JK's got his mojo back!

00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:08,089

[sobs] He was my only friend!

00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,300

Come on, dude. What happened back there?

00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,635

You're all haunted and shit now.

00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844

I don't want to talk about it.

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,682

[Dodge] Wow, this must be

Yummy Carrot Rainbow Gulch.

00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,183

I don't know what those grunts

we're talking about.

00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,685

I'm not getting death vibes at all.

00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061

- [laser blasts]

- Get down!

00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,106

There's a Horsey sniper

on the outcropping up ahead.

00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,899

Yeah. And that sniper's got a gun!

00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,442

I'm Tomblr. This is Charger.

00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,403

On a special mission from Silver HQ.

00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405

Name's Gex. This here's Quigonowski.

00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489

And you're not going anywhere

00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,074

with that Horsey scumbitch out there.

00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410

I can see the sniper.

00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,703

He's on the high ridge.

00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,871

Now he's lookin' right at us.

00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,707

- Now he's pulling the trigger.

- [laser blasts]

00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,750

Now the bullets are coming

this way. Oh, shit!

00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,502

If you guys cover me,

00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,588

I can sneak up to the perch

and take him out.

00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,173

But you'll get shot!

The sniper, to remind you, has a gun!

00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,301

Don't worry. I've been specially trained

00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,094

in the latest sneaking techniques.

00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,555

Somersaults, baby crawls, tippy toes.

00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,223

I've heard of tippy toes before.

00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,474

Supposed to really be something.

00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,268

I also have a fiancée back home,

00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,103

and she's pregnant with twins.

00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,689

- [laser blasts]

- Ah! I'm hit!

00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,190

- We gotta save her!

- No!

00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817

You go out there and you're dead too.

00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,527

- [laser blasts]

- [Quigonowski] Ah! He got me in the head.

00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,613

- [laser blasts]

- Now he got my shoulders!

00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615

- [laser blasts]

- And my toes!

00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,452

I've been shot in the head,

shoulders, knees, and toes!

00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038

Fuck you, you Horsey motherclomper!

00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,749

Fuck you and your gorgeous, shiny mane!

00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,423

Hmm. I have an idea.

00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,802

[horse grunts]

00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,347

- [grenade beeping]

- [horse nickers]

00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,806

[explosion booms]

00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,016

- [all cheer]

- Yeah!

00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,352

He had blinders on. Never saw us comin'.

00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062

In hindsight, not a smart move.

00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,563

Also, inside sight. [chuckles]

00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,648

[horses neighing]

00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,232

Ah, shit. What's that?

00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,525

It's Horsey patrol.

00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,069

They must have heard the explosion.

00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,657

[all panting]

00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,660

[horse neighs]

00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,036

Why'd they stop?

00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,749

- [landmine beeps]

- [Gex yelps]

00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,001

- [Tomblr gasps]

- We must be in a minefield.

00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,545

[landmine beeps]

00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,382

Shit, shit, shit! I'm gonna die!

00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,425

I'm so scared, I'm pissing myself.

00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,510

It's gonna be okay. Relax.

00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928

I saw this exact same thing happen

00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,888

in George Clooney's best movie,

The Monuments Men.

00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,973

We just have to find something

of equal weight

00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,225

and then we switch you out with it,

00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,810

Raiders of the Lost Ark style.

00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,770

On the count of three,

I'm gonna pull you off

00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,146

just like they did in Lethal Weapon.

00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,649

I don't understand any

of the references you're making!

00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733

On three.

00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,277

One... two, three!

00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,074

Wow, it worked! [laughs]

00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,909

I, uh, I didn't piss myself,

00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,452

by the way. That, that was a joke.

00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,578

- [object thuds]

- [landmine beeping]

00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,205

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Run!

00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,333

- [both screaming]

- [explosions booming]

00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,965

So glad we cured JK Sevens and

00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091

won a $25

00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426

Cracker Barrel gift card.

00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845

That's country fried pancakes

for everyone.

00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805

Hell yeah. Hulu's HuluLulu,

00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,349

play Yumyulack's "Yumyu Mix" to celebrate.

00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,143

[♪ dance music playing]

00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:10,271

[device thudding]

00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,647

Oh, geez.

00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,525

I guess JK still has an appetite

for robo destruction.

00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,735

That's no big deal.

00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,653

We can toss him a few more electronics

00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,071

to get it out of his system.

00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,782

[saw whirring]

00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,953

Holy Jennifer Jason Lopez, that was it!

00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,997

JK destroyed every gadget in the house.

00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,166

Terry's Vitamix actually put up

a decent fight.

00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,419

What happens when we run

out of stuff for him to kill?

00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,713

- [JK Sevens beeping and buzzing]

- [all gasp]

00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,214

I think Terry keeps a Hitachi Wand

00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,299

in the earthquake supplies.

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633

Get it!

00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,596

Where? Where am I?

00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,930

[horse snorting]

00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,475

[horse whinnies]

00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,270

[Tomblr screams and whimpers]

00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,190

Stay back. Don't take another clop!

00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,775

Relax, T, it's okay.

00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,526

There are Horseys everywhere!

00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111

I know. They rescued us.

00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,404

This is that secret base,

00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,156

but it's not a munitions facility.

00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,240

[Horsey] That's right, Tomblr.

00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,327

You're safe here.

00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578

Who are you?

00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205

I didn't know Horseys

could speak standard.

00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,832

"Horsey" is a derogatory slur.

00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,292

We are the Equinites.

00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,877

My name is Buttercup.

00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,796

I'm the leader of the resistance.

00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,005

Oh, please.

00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,507

You're the scourge on this world!

00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:23,594

Come. It's time to remove

your blinders and see the truth.

00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,680

[♪ gentle music playing]

00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,475

[Buttercup] There are no soldiers here.

00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,727

Just families, refugees.

00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,479

This is a sanctuary

00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,481

for those who've been

driven from their homes.

00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,275

But you were the ones

who invaded this planet.

00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,152

The Silvercops are the ones who came here

00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071

to steal our natural resources.

00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,240

Easy to take when you

exterminate the locals

00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866

and label them a scourge.

00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,244

But that's the total opposite

of what we were told.

00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,330

Wait, does the military

lie about its motives?

00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,625

I suggest you rest and help

yourself to our finest feedbags.

00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,212

We are a peaceful people,

and you are our guests.

00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,511

{\an8}[robot] Today is my first day

delivering food for Grub Bud.

00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,804

{\an8}I am so excited.

00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,516

{\an8}Hey there, robo pal.

Why don't you come on inside?

00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,102

{\an8}[robot] I am not supposed to enter homes.

00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,645

{\an8}No, it's fine.

00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,314

{\an8}We just wanna give you a tip.

00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,859

{\an8}Come on in. Don't be afraid.

00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,570

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,029

[robot] What are you doing?

00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,406

Sorry, little guy.

00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,450

[♪ sinister music playing]

00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,578

[robot] No, wait, please.

00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,497

- [screams]

- [metal clanging]

00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,165

[robot] Ow, that's my wheel. Ow.

00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,584

{\an8}You got the Pad See Ew, right?

00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544

{\an8}Yeah. And the papaya salad too.

00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,171

[Dodge] Mm.

00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,632

Damn, these oats are the shit.

00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,259

Oh, I can't believe it.

00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636

The war, our mission, it's all a lie.

00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,389

How could I be such a dumb sucker?

00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,266

I mean, I tried to tell you

multiple times.

00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,226

I mean, I've become the

very thing that terrified me

00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061

about the Silvercops when I was a kid.

00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,147

A stupid, violent occupier.

00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,356

Pretty ironic, huh?

00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,775

You've always been totally honest with me,

00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,152

and I should have trusted you.

00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,820

Oh, I'm such an idiot.

00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,489

[sighs] I'm not who you think I am.

00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617

I'm actually a human from the planet Earth

00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,202

who loves the Fast and Furious franchise

and was shot into space.

00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,787

Some Silvercops framed me for murder

00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,080

and they were going to kill me,

00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,624

but I escaped and changed my appearance

00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,125

so I could enlist in Silver Bootcamp.

00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,461

My plan has always been

to work my way up the ranks

00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338

so I could get close

to the Silvers who betrayed me

00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,547

and take my revenge.

00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,049

My name isn't even Dodge.

00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342

It's Glen Kumstein.

00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,135

Glen Kum-steen?

00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,595

No. What are you, reading it off a page?

00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,096

I just said it now. Kumstein.

00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,306

Let's get outta here, man.

00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350

Let's leave this planet

and start new lives

00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,769

that are not defined by getting

revenge on the Silvercops.

00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,188

- First, we destroy this homing beacon.

- Tomblr, no!

00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,358

Die! Die! Die! What?

00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,485

Destroying that automatically

signaled Silver HQ

00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,278

to send a strike team

to these coordinates.

00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113

I read the manual

when I was taking a shit!

00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,115

Oh, my stars and Marys, we gotta go!

00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,742

[Tomblr panting]

00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,826

Silvergrunts are on the way.

00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,662

We have to get your people out now.

00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,163

I'll herd everyone

toward the main entrance.

00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,748

No! That's where they'll be coming.

00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,999

Is there another way out?

00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,084

There used to be.

00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,920

It collapsed during

a bombing strike last winter.

00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,171

What are we gonna do?

00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,756

Back on Earth, my Honda S2000

00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,758

had about 250 horsepower.

00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:08,968

But with all the Equinites here,

00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,302

we have at least double that.

00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,720

What are you suggesting?

00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722

Let's yank off these rocks!

00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,141

[horses whinny]

00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:21,563

[♪ dramatic music continues]

00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,983

Kill everything that trots.

00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,197

- Yah! Yah!

- [horses whinny]

00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,449

Yah! Yah!

00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,284

Yah!

00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,661

It's too heavy.

00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,204

You can do it. Yah!

00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,873

It's hard enough

without you yelling, "Yah."

00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,250

Shit, sorry.

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,544

God, I bet the optics

on this are terrible too.

00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,087

- Pull!

- [horse whinnying]

00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,674

[horse grunts]

00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,721

It's open!

00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,016

[timer beeping]

00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,893

- [explosion booms]

- [ground rumbling]

00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,395

The Silvers are here!

00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,479

Buttercup, keep going.

00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,856

We'll buy you some time.

00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,483

[♪ dramatic music playing]

00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,782

- [lasers blasting]

- [soldier screams]

00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,958

- You see that, Kumstein?

- Oh!

00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501

- No!

- Oh, shit.

00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,837

Oh, they zapped me.

00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,131

H-h-hold on. I-I can get you outta here.

00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758

Help the Equinites to safety.

00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,469

I'll hold off the grunts by myself.

00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,095

Just make me one promise.

00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,139

Rise up the ranks and take down

00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,224

the entire Silver system.

00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,185

- I'll do it.

- Go!

00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,812

[Sgt. Argent cackling]

00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,898

I knew a filthy holo like you

00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357

could never be a Silvercop.

00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,568

- [timer beeping]

- Oh, shit!

00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,071

Ow! Ow! Ah!

00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,781

- Quit it.

- You quit it!

00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,240

[timer beeping accelerates]

00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,493

- [explosion booms]

- [ground rumbling]

00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,914

[rocks thudding]

00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,252

[Dodge grunting]

00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,838

[♪ solemn music playing]

00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,971

This is the border of Stable Territory.

00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,098

We should be safe here.

00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,228

[horse whinnies]

00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,814

But you can proceed no further.

00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357

I understand, Buttercup.

00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,525

Goodbye.

00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,860

[♪ solemn music continues]

00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,949

{\an8}[Yumyulack] None of the apps,

00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,951

{\an8}not Postmates, UberEats, or even HuluLemon

00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,369

will deliver to us anymore

00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,746

because their robots keep

disappearing at our house.

00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125

Oh, no! He's gushing oil!

00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,960

Hang in there, JK. Don't die on us.

00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,461

No, wait.

00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880

Ew! This oil is amniotic.

00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,924

He's not dying, he's giving birth!

00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,175

[beeping]

00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,511

Okay, Sevens. You're gonna push on three.

00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,471

One, two, three!

00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,016

[all] Push, JK Sevens! Push! Push!

00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,519

Ah! I can see it.

Just one more big push, JK.

00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,604

You got this! One more!

00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,314

[object splats]

00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,316

Is... Is it a baby?

00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,570

No, it's next year's EyePhone!

00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321

Oh, I wanna cut the cord!

00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,949

[chiming]

00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,242

I can't believe it.

00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,744

All this time,

JK just had morning sickness.

00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,496

He must have only wanted to battle-bot

00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,499

because he was so hormonal

from his pregnancy.

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376

Well, we've learned a valuable lesson.

00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,170

Never trust a doctor who shares an office

00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,671

with Hometown Buffet.

00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,173

[JK Sevens beeps]

00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,718

[Dodge sighs]

00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,219

I'm sorry, Tomblr.

00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,096

I don't think I'm ever

getting off this planet,

00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,182

much less infiltrating

the Silvercops again.

00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,850

[sighs]

00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,728

[soldier] Charger!

00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,730

Every Silvergrunt suit

has a recording device.

00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,899

We heard everything you said

00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,026

about taking down the Silvercops.

00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,987

The balls on this guy.

Thinks he's a one-man army.

00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,947

You Silvercops can go fuck yourselves

00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,824

in your stinking Silver asses!

00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,826

[cops laugh]

00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,661

He thinks we're Silvercops.

00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,746

You're not?

00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,458

[gasps] Goldcops.

00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,252

That's right. We were created

to keep the Silvercops in line.

00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,420

Your friend was spot on.

00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755

They're rotten to the core.

00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,841

The entire Silver organization

has to go down.

00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,384

And you want my help?

00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,636

What do you say?

00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,679

Do you have what it takes to be...

00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,640

a Goldcop?

00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,184

[♪ energetic rock music playing]

00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,653

[♪ dramatic theme playing]

00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,529

[mimicking laser fire]

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