Гигантская голова Юмьюлака — Юмьюлак неожиданно узнаёт, что его настоящая миссия в команде быть кормом для Пупы. Каждые 90 дней Корво убивает Юмьюлака и скармливает его останки Пупе. Затем он загружает воспоминания Юмьюлака в принтер и печатает нового репликанта. Юмьюлак отказывается проходить через подобный обряд снова и разрушает принтер, но случайно убивает и себя. Без пищи Пупа может умереть. Корво вспоминает, что на Земле существует ещё один Юмьюлак. Когда-то давно он не смог убить очередного репликанта и отпустил его. Команда инопланетян отправляется на его поиски в Ирландию.

Предыдущая серия S05 E10 Большой день уборки Терри

Следующая серия S05 E12 Охота за коричневым октябрём

Гигантская голова Юмьюлака

Yumyulack's Giant Head

Сезон: 05Серия: 11

Описание

Юмьюлак неожиданно узнаёт, что его настоящая миссия в команде быть кормом для Пупы. Каждые 90 дней Корво убивает Юмьюлака и скармливает его останки Пупе. Затем он загружает воспоминания Юмьюлака в принтер и печатает нового репликанта. Юмьюлак отказывается проходить через подобный обряд снова и разрушает принтер, но случайно убивает и себя. Без пищи Пупа может умереть. Корво вспоминает, что на Земле существует ещё один Юмьюлак. Когда-то давно он не смог убить очередного репликанта и отпустил его. Команда инопланетян отправляется на его поиски в Ирландию.

Субтитры

00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,190 Благословите, отче, ибо я согрешил.
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,830 Я попрал имя божье.
00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:17,510 Я согрешил и вдул персиковый йогурт себе в анус и дал коту его слизать.
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,250 Твою мать! Коту? Меня сейчас стошнит.
00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,820 Вам можно такое говорить?
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:23,380 Я думал, это безопасное место.
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,020 Да. Чтобы я надрал тебе зад!
00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:27,270 Какого чёрта, отче?
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,080 Я заохотил твою голову, сучка!
00:00:32,550 --> 00:00:33,570 Респект.
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,070 Я дома.
00:00:40,130 --> 00:00:42,400 Не говорите со мной, пока не выпью.
00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:45,740 Знаю, что пожалею, но почему ты одет как Папа Римский?
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,920 О, Терри, ограниченная ты шлюшка.
00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:49,820 Это прикрытие для охоты за головами.
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:51,020 Это моя маскировка.
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,440 Рад, что ты повеселился.
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,730 А я сегодня пытался пососать свою шишку.
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,340 Представляю вам нового Пупу.
00:00:58,960 --> 00:00:59,660 О боже!
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:01,460 Что за маленький Пеннивайз?
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:02,560 Чапупа!
00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:04,590 Это его новая милая фразочка.
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,180 Эй, эй, что это ещё такое?
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,360 Особая комброча Глена Пауэлла.
00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:12,110 Я сегодня охотился за головами, теперь мне хочется бактерий.
00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:13,170 Какого хрена?
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,010 Подростки не пьют такое дерьмо.
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,320 Разве не круче дунуть тяпку или немного тмина?
00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:22,670 Что ты несёшь? Комброча продаётся специально для идиотов моего возраста.
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:26,540 Ясно. Дело в том, что комбуча ядовита для шлорпиан.
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,290 Но Джесси и Терри тоже пьют!
00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:31,660 Наш вкус никому не важен.
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,450 Джесси, нет!
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,160 Вкус? Как это понимать? Почему мой вкус важен?
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:38,560 Потому что я должен убить тебя и скормить Пупе.
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,140 Корво, нет!
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:47,300 Планета Шлорп была просто идеальной, пока на неё не грохнулся астероид.
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:51,917 Сотне взрослых особей и их репликантам выдали по Пупе и отправили в космос,
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,690 на поиски необитаемого мира, нашего нового дома.
00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:58,320 Мы рухнули на Землю, планету, кишащую людьми.
00:01:58,370 --> 00:02:01,200 Да-да, это мой голос. Я держу Пупу.
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,870 Меня зовут Корво. Это мой сериал.
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,180 Я уронил Пупу, видите?
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:07,340 Как же нелепо. Ненавижу Землю! Отстойная планета!
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,960 Люди тупые и странные.
00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:11,130 Почему я не могу сам качать бензин в Нью-Джерси?
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:13,110 Меня только это успокаивает на Земле.
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:15,180 Вот бы вся атмосфера была парами.
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,250 На хороших планетах все дышат нефтью.
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:20,390 СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ
00:02:23,070 --> 00:02:25,020 Нет!
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,280 Что произошло? Что это была за херня?
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:30,640 Усаживающий на диван луч. Выслушай меня.
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:32,110 Я думал, ты меня убьёшь.
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,330 Я бы такого не сделал.
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,250 Вот и хорошо.
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,130 Стоп. Нет, я постоянно это делаю.
00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,580 Но сначала я объясню, почему я это делаю.
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:39,610 Из уважения ко мне?
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,660 Нет, растерянность портит вкус твоей кожи.
00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:44,970 Раз в три месяца происходит нечто особое.
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,090 Я тебя убиваю, смалываю в пюре и скармливаю Пупе.
00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:49,020 Это неправда!
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,120 О да, это правда.
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,800 Видишь ли, Пупа должен есть твоё мясо раз в 90 дней, чтобы не умереть.
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,670 Я живу тут столько же, сколько и ты. Такого не было.
00:02:56,790 --> 00:02:58,385 Было. Ты просто не помнишь,
00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:02,187 потому что мы выгружаем твоё сознание на жёсткий диск корабля
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,940 и переносим его в новый мозг.
00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:06,890 Но убийство не загружаем, чтобы ты не истерил.
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,860 Ясно. Так почему я здесь?
00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:11,030 Позволь мне всё показать.
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,150 Чапупа!
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,740 Это правда очень мило.
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,030 Аиша, где жеода с инструкцией к Пупе?
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,530 Не гребу. Я тебе не Мэри Поппинс.
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,090 Супер. Я её сохранил.
00:03:21,140 --> 00:03:23,320 Руководство пользователя Пупы. В кварце.
00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:25,870 РУКОВОДСТВО ПОЛЬЗОВАТЕЛЯ ПУПЫ
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:26,840 ЗАГРУЗКА
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:30,710 Несоблюдение правил кормления Пупы мясом репликанта приведёт к смерти.
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,870 ВНИМАНИЕ
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,840 Забота о Пупе приведёт к его эволюции и терраформированию мира.
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,141 Вы можете кормить Пупу кусочками питательного репликанта
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,970 или смолоть его и подать целиком.
00:03:40,980 --> 00:03:42,540 Вот, мы так делаем!
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,400 Здравствуй, репликант.
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,450 Хорошо поохотился за головами?
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,230 Да, лидер. Очень хорошо.
00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:53,010 Ну и идиот.
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:54,140 Дичь какая.
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:58,306 Теперь лидер перерабатывает белки репликанта безболезненным методом,
00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:00,530 разработанным шлорпианскими врачами.
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:03,720 Не выглядит это безболезненно.
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,550 Он же про лидера. Он никакой боли не чувствует.
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:12,870 Только посмотрите на него.
00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:16,600 А теперь я выгружаю воспоминания. Минус парочку.
00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:24,267 Через пару недель новое тело начнёт производить питательные вещества,
00:04:24,270 --> 00:04:25,420 и цикл повторится.
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,720 Не показывайте видео репликанту.
00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:29,350 Это жуткая дичь меня пугает!
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,060 Не бойся. Страх не повлияет на вкус твоей плоти.
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:34,020 Хватит говорить о моей плоти!
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:36,850 Так вы убиваете меня и Джесси, когда хотите?
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:39,470 Нет. Меня не убивают. Только тебя.
00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:40,630 Почему только меня?
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,320 У нас есть свои обязанности.
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,100 Я летописец, Терри заботится о Пупе, Корво — капитан.
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,810 А ты питательный репликант.
00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:51,090 Я охотник за головами. Я сегодня охотился за головами.
00:04:51,130 --> 00:04:53,000 Мы не в «Звёздных войнах», братан.
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:55,016 Шлорпианские старейшины придумали это,
00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:57,650 чтобы вы не задавали вопросы о своей настоящей роли.
00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:59,940 Но я видел, как Пупа ест всякий фастфуд.
00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:00,870 Пусть его и ест.
00:05:00,890 --> 00:05:01,900 Это пустые калории.
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,480 Терри и Джесси пообещали не кормить его этим.
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,430 Мы так и делаем.
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:07,630 Да, мы говорим ему «нетушки-приветушки».
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:08,500 Чапупа!
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:12,060 Быть питательным репликантом — величайшая честь.
00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:14,330 Твоя задача важнее всех наших.
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:17,210 Блин, он выглядит таким голодным.
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,730 Бедняжка. Ладно. К чёрту всё. Я в деле.
00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:22,690 Ты же сохранишь мою память, да?
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:26,000 Да. И после ты не будешь этого помнить. Всё будет, как прежде.
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:29,200 Можно в этот раз я сделаю всё сам?
00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:31,510 Конечно. Как хочешь: мечом, огнемётом?
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,970 Или потирая шишку, пока вешаешься в кладовой?
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,430 Простой лазер подойдёт.
00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:38,610 Держи. Сейчас возьму кристалл для сохранения памяти.
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:42,150 Подойдёте ко мне с кристаллом — башку нахрен снесу!
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:43,380 Чапупа?
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:44,990 Отойдите.
00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:46,830 Всё не так плохо, как кажется.
00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:48,320 Мы напечатаем нового тебя.
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:51,000 Мы уберём эти воспоминания. Тебе не будет грустно.
00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:55,690 В этом ты прав. Мне не будет грустно, потому что я развалю принтер.
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:58,040 Немедленно убейте себя, мистер!
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,740 Нет!
00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:07,700 Заляпал футболку!
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:12,670 Пупа умрёт с голоду без мяса Яма.
00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:14,060 Наша миссия обречена.
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:17,900 Мы все умрём, и я никогда не попаду на экскурсию на фабрику шуб «Бёрлингтон»!
00:06:17,930 --> 00:06:20,550 Всем успокоиться. Дайте мне подумать.
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,330 Пупа, съешь это. Это полезно.
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,660 Чапупа.
00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:25,220 Оно гадкое и горелое.
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:26,360 Он должен что-то есть.
00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:28,880 А если скормить ему что-то другое из нашего мира?
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:33,200 Да! Я специально припрятал шлорпианские батончики из сухпайков.
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,520 Я такое делаю. Думаю наперёд.
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:38,690 Чёрт. Я съел их в том году, когда у нас закончили закуски.
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,030 Они были на чёрный день!
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,750 Это был самый чёрный день.
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:45,180 Мне пришлось разом посмотреть второй сезон «Тени и кости»,
00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,730 чтобы первым заспойлерить его в «Дискорде».
00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:48,700 Вот. Лизни обёртку.
00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:49,950 Нет. Чапупа.
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,392 Вы оставайтесь тут и уговорите его лизнуть обёртку,
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,040 а я пойду чинить принтер.
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,720 А клей для ресниц достаточно прочный?
00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:02,950 Это клей для ресниц дрэг-квин, нашёл его у Терри на столике. Выдержит.
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,940 Думал, какое у тебя будет дрэг-имя?
00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:08,560 Моё — Нефертитьки, потому что у меня были бы здоровенные титьки.
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,760 Неплохо.
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,540 Ну, посмотрим, что вышло.
00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:18,090 Жуть. Просканируй на наличие питательных веществ.
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,380 Сканирую. Она вся корявая.
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:21,950 Пупе от неё толку не будет.
00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:23,510 Чёрт. И принтеру капец.
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:24,700 Нужно что-то придумать.
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,290 Она увеличивается?
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,560 Блин. Частицы роста вышли из-под контроля.
00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:30,810 Аиша, открой люк. Сбросим её с корабля.
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,450 Чёрт, чёрт. Блин, гадость, фу, чёрт.
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,800 Ты оставишь её вот так?
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,150 Позвоню в вывоз мусора. Во вторник заберут.
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,330 Город такое не оценит.
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:44,780 Ну что ты. Ну давай хотя бы немножечко.
00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:46,360 Ням-ням.
00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:46,670 Нет!
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:50,560 Терри, смотри. У меня есть старый Old Spice Ямюляка!
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,610 Там точно куча его бактерий.
00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:55,890 Да! Держи, Пупи. Со вкусом спортивной сумки.
00:07:57,940 --> 00:07:59,180 Ты в порядке, малыш?
00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:00,300 Чапупа...
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:07,560 Он выпердел кофейный столик?
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:10,520 О нет. Он будто из моей квартиры в нашем мире.
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,090 Твой Пупа выпердел его с оранжевой жижей.
00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:14,440 Что, прости? Мой Пупа?
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:15,670 Ты меня слышал.
00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:21,173 Пупа преждевременно извергает терраформирующую жидкость
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:22,880 от нехватки питательных веществ.
00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:23,960 Отстой какой.
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,800 Почему всё такое шлорпианское?
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,800 Потому что в его ДНК закодированы вещи из дома.
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:29,960 Это же хорошо.
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,820 Пупа должен терраформировать.
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,050 Сейчас он неуправляем.
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:35,380 Его тело сдаётся.
00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:38,530 Это деструктивный процесс, который разрушит планету.
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:41,400 Если Пупа не поест, его пердёж ухудшится.
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:45,100 Он умрёт вместе с нашими шансами на восстановление нашего мира.
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:48,100 Пупа уже попробовал плоть, давайте найдём человека,
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,080 похожего на Ямюляка и скормим ему.
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,442 Да, это может сработать.
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:54,510 Но это должен быть жалкий, уродливый лузер, как Ямюляк.
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,490 Вы тоже видите летающую голову Ямюляка?
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,550 Что? Не парься. Кто знает, откуда она.
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:03,828 Солнечные противоположности должны найти жалкого человечишку,
00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:05,330 который пахнет ногами.
00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:07,270 Дальше.
00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:09,140 Привет, сосед Кевин.
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:12,040 Ты будешь читать строчки Ямюляка.
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:14,580 Так круто. Всегда мечтал быть актёром.
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,118 Я раньше снимал видео со стыковкой членов на YouTube,
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,700 пока алгоритмы не стали блокировать крайнюю плоть.
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:20,390 Дальше.
00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:23,400 Привет, я Шон Джамброун. Я снимался в «Голдбергах» на ABC.
00:09:23,420 --> 00:09:23,980 Дальше!
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,500 Спасибо, что пригласили. У меня есть особые навыки.
00:09:26,530 --> 00:09:28,960 Я сертифицированный покерфейс...
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:30,530 Сука!
00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:31,294 Директор Кук!
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,460 Прикольно видеть вас в реальном мире.
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,320 Для прослушивания мы разыгрываем сцену из «Дюны».
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,010 Поставьте ногу в коробку.
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:39,890 ПОСТАВЬ НОГУ СЮДА
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,710 Ой, меня, кажется, что-то лижет.
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:47,810 Когда пройдёт страх облизывания, останешься только ты.
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,970 Теперь оно меня кусает! Так и знал!
00:09:50,070 --> 00:09:54,101 Эти больные интернет-извраты хотят только фотки ваших кровавых ног,
00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,470 за которые не заплатят!
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,190 До свидания, директор Кук.
00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,190 Чапупа.
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,450 Проклятье, Пупа. Мы пытаемся тебе помочь.
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,890 Это мой банк из нашего мира. Там был ужасный график работы. Бегите!
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,730 Мои друзья и любовник, вариантов нет.
00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:16,860 Принтер Ямюляков починить нельзя.
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:17,950 Пупа не поест.
00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,660 Над Денвером летает огромная башка Ямюляка.
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:21,530 В жопу Денвер!
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:25,361 Боюсь, на этот раз нам не решить проблему научно-фантастически.
00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:27,010 Бедный Пупа. Мне очень жаль.
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,820 Да ладно, Корво. Не будь сучкой. Расскажи им.
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,460 Аиша, нет.
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,710 Что? По поводу чего тебе не быть сучкой?
00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:36,060 Давай, расскажи им.
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,410 Не могу. Это момент слабости, о котором я долго молчал.
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:43,190 То, что я расскажу, может потрясти вас до глубины души.
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:46,400 Это может разрушить основы, на которых наши отношения...
00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:47,110 Да говори уже!
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,380 Есть ещё один Ямюляк.
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,440 От такого потрясения я аж проголодался!
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,480 Почему сэндвичи «Джерси Майка» такие вкусные?
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:02,070 Они покупают масло и уксус на трассе Нью-Джерси.
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:05,560 А что ты имел в виду, когда сказал, что есть ещё один Ямюляк?
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:08,570 Однажды я не убил Ямюляка, а дал ему сбежать.
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:11,630 Я не помню подробностей. Всё будто в тумане.
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,550 Ничего. Я всё сняла.
00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:16,400 Нет! Нет-нет. Не нужно смотреть ту запись. Это неважно.
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:17,464 Я установила камеру,
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:20,260 когда кто-то начал красть моих фарфоровых жабок, Терри!
00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,030 Смотрите.
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:24,560 Что ты делаешь?
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,520 Прошу, не убивай меня.
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:29,430 Я и не хотел. Я хотел высосать твою память, а потом убить.
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,810 Нет, пожалуйста. Папа, не надо этого делать.
00:11:32,930 --> 00:11:33,380 Папа?
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:36,460 Иди.
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:37,760 Ты меня не убьёшь?
00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:40,650 У меня есть копия твоей памяти. Иди, пока я не передумал.
00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:41,990 Чтоб тебя, Аиша.
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,200 Он назвал меня папой. Ямюляки так раньше не делали.
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:48,170 Он был такой милый. Не то что предыдущие Ямюляки.
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,080 О, Корво. Я думал, только у меня проблемы с папой.
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,020 Я пытался их развить в подарок тебе на День Сезара Чавеса.
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:56,340 Но видимо, переборщил.
00:11:56,390 --> 00:11:59,190 О боже. Хватит быть таким терпилой!
00:11:59,210 --> 00:12:02,940 Ты наш лидер. Соберись немедленно!
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:05,220 Твой Пупа сереет и пуляет жижей.
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,190 Мы должны найти Ямюляка. Куда он ушёл?
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:13,230 Я тогда любил есть жаркое, так что отправил его мирно жить в Ирландии.
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:16,230 Плюс, я знал, что Терри никогда не приедет туда из-за Эджа.
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,840 Этот сучонок в бини с бородкой украл мой прикид!
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:23,480 Свежие ягоды коникса, продаю...
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,120 Где я?
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,990 Чапупа.
00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:30,580 У нас мало времени!
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:34,250 Аиша, присмотри за Пупой и попробуй починить принтер Ямюляков.
00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:35,460 Я собралась на перерыв.
00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:36,744 Запишу, как сверхурочные.
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:40,149 Мы летим в Ирландию, схватим Ямюляка, привезём сюда и покормим Пупу
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:40,960 , пока не поздно.
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:44,570 Говорю сразу: если я увижу Эджа, я мимо не пройду.
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,870 Я дам ему леща, чтоб бородка отлетела.
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:49,230 Для него это будет неприятный день.
00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,050 ИРЛАНДСКИЙ ПАБ «ОДРИНКИ»
00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,480 Какое причудливое место.
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:02,110 Это Эдж играет на скрипке в углу?
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,410 Терри, это женщина и ей лет 90.
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,950 Привет. Меня зовут Шеймус Одринки.
00:13:08,060 --> 00:13:10,160 Это мой семейный ирландский паб.
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,910 Мы ищем это недоразумение. Такого роста.
00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:16,910 Называет себя Ямюляк или Супер-мазила Таркин, никнейм из Xbox.
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,570 Простите. Ничем не могу помочь.
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:21,960 Я бы запомнил такого нелепого парня, если бы он заходил.
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:22,890 Всё равно спасибо.
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,550 Я слежу за тобой, скрипичная шлюха.
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:33,810 Мак-Ямюляк, это Шеймус.
00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:37,280 Похоже, твой папаня наконец-то приехал.
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,601 Смотрите, я знаю только одного засранца,
00:13:41,610 --> 00:13:44,960 которому нужно столько экстремально кислой газировки.
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,330 Это сучий Эдж.
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,250 О господи. Это Ямюляк.
00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:50,280 Боже, Терри. Да забей уже.
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:55,640 Наверное, тут он живёт. Смотрите на название.
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,920 Тема. Эй, да вон же он!
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,990 Да это будет проще, чем два пальца обоссать.
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:05,850 Я рада увидеть Ямюляка, даже его дешёвую ирландскую версию.
00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:08,470 Только без эмоций. Он просто корм для Пупы.
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:11,240 Тупой провод. Кто-то мог споткнуться.
00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:13,980 Я пну его через три, две и...
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:14,640 Терри, нет!
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:20,940 Вы, говнюки, не заберёте меня отсюда. Отвалите!
00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:23,000 Этот Ямюляк совсем не приятный.
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,860 И говорит так по-ирландски.
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:27,090 Он меня обманул, назвав папой.
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,490 Нужно схватить эту суку сейчас же.
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,810 Ура! Ещё один провод.
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,070 Терри, оставь его в покое.
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:33,880 Ладно.
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:37,720 Ямюляк?
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,590 Мы пришли поздороваться и посмотреть, как ты тут живёшь.
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,060 Чушь собачья! И я теперь Мак-Ямюляк.
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,900 Это моё ирландское имя.
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,130 Ему очень идёт.
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:50,430 Я много лет ждал и планировал этот день.
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:55,530 Весь дом набит ловушками. Лучше не рыпайтесь, не то устрою вам пекло.
00:14:55,550 --> 00:15:00,000 Знаю, мы ненавидим его за мудачество, но он тут неплохо устроился.
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:03,140 Да. Может, оставить его? Пусть будет ирландцем с миром. Мир!
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:06,828 Нет! Нужно вернуть его домой и скормить Пупе, иначе не будет планеты,
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:09,000 на которой Ирландия — жемчужина короны.
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,570 Я это слышал!
00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:16,480 Оставьте нашего друга или мы сожжём и закопаем вас!
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,410 Чёрт. Всё наше оружие конфисковали в аэропорту.
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:21,730 Это не «Аэр Лингус», а подстава какая-то.
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,000 Зато «Аэр Лингус» — самая сексуальная авиакомпания.
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:27,880 Нужно хватать Мак-Яма за яйца и уматывать.
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:32,510 Ну что, тупоголовые селюки, срал я с высокой башни на ваш клевер.
00:15:32,570 --> 00:15:35,010 И Киллиан Мёрфи может у меня отсосать!
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:07,860 А ты хорош.
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,610 У меня был хороший учитель.
00:16:09,690 --> 00:16:10,530 О, ты обо мне?
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:14,820 Нет, чёртов идиот! Я про сэнсэя Шона в клубе карате «Опанчиз»!
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,670 Добей его, Корво! Добей его!
00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,750 Папа? Прошу, не убивай меня.
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:26,990 У меня нет выбора. Я не твой папа. Я лидер.
00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:28,860 А ты корм, необходимый Пупе.
00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:30,180 Это мой и твой долг.
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:34,740 Ты давно научил меня заботиться только о самом себе.
00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:35,860 Так я и поступлю.
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:38,790 Нет!
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:43,120 О боже. Они провалились под лёт. Где они?
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,790 Покойтесь с миром, Корво и Ямюляк.
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:51,350 И что делать двум одиноким подружкам в городе, полном подавленных европейских мужчин?
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,240 Он у меня! Я...
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,850 Вы хотели вот так уйти?
00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:59,100 Вы оба провалились под лёд! В фильмах это конец. Сам погугли.
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:00,890 Вы и пять секунд не подождали.
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:02,670 Ну, тут холодно. Уж прости.
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:20,480 И да, Эдж просто сидел в аэропорту Дублина.
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,080 Он очень приятный. Подарил мне свою бини.
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,610 Сказал, что мы оба можем носить бини и не спорить.
00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:28,570 Да. Больше никаких соревнований, всё разрешилось.
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:31,140 Нужно разобраться, пока Пупе не стало хуже.
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,460 Это ещё не конец.
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,890 А где твой акцент?
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:36,410 Пропадает, если не смотрю фильмы Колина Фаррелла.
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,330 Мак-Ямюляк, я хочу извиниться.
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:39,710 Я не хотел, чтобы было так.
00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:43,953 Если бы я мог изменить правила, я бы не убивал тебя снова и снова,
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,280 чтобы скормить Пупе.
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,770 Ну да. Ты наркоман!
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:49,350 Я выкачаю твою память, на случай починки принтера.
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,480 Может, признаешь, что ты мудак, и отпустишь меня?
00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:54,680 Прости. Сейчас не то время.
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:56,750 Стой!
00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:57,460 Что?
00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:58,680 Было не то время.
00:17:58,710 --> 00:17:59,540 Отойди с дороги!
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,770 Когда ты отпустил Мак-Яма, ты сразу распечатал нового?
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:03,630 Да, конечно.
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,400 И скормил его Пупе?
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:07,580 Нет. Нутриенты формируются две недели.
00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:12,080 Но пока ты ждал, Пупа не изрыгал терраформирующую жижу.
00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:14,280 Стоп. Ты права. Не изрыгал.
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:16,300 Ага! И что это значит?
00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:19,460 Это значит, что он получал нутриенты из чего-то другого.
00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:22,510 Может, Пупу кормили чем-то, чтобы он выжил.
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:25,310 Это невозможно. Мы не даём Пупе земную еду.
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:26,860 Вы обещали этого не делать.
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,550 Ой-ой.
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,270 Вы что-то ему давали? Что это было?
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,050 Мы игнорили твоё правило.
00:18:32,090 --> 00:18:33,330 Кормили его всяким.
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:38,860 Мы знали, что он получит все витамины и минералы из Ямюляка, так что другое не помешает.
00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:40,990 Я же прямо сказал — нет людской еде.
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,120 Ещё перед полётом на другую планету.
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:43,760 Что это было?
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,410 Наверное, McDonald’s.
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:46,890 Супер. Едем в McDonald’s.
00:18:46,930 --> 00:18:47,730 Или Burger King.
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:50,746 Ясно. Мне не нравится, что вы настолько игнорили правила,
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:51,610 но и его закажем.
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,800 И Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Domino’s...
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,350 Wingstop, Papa John’s, KFC, Panda Express...
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:58,740 Но ни разу Long John Silver's!
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,450 Да. На Long John Silver's мы провели черту. Мы не чудовища.
00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:03,990 Некогда сужать поиск.
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:05,210 Пупа умирает.
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,420 Скормим ему Ямюляка, а потом разберёмся.
00:19:07,460 --> 00:19:08,960 Я голосую за сужение.
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:10,110 Прости, выхода нет.
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:13,940 Чапупа.
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,450 Стой. Ты это слышал?
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,680 Хватит тормозить.
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:18,260 Я не торможу! Пупа говорит!
00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:20,370 Чапупа.
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,810 И? Он постоянно болтает своё «чапупа».
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:24,330 Это мило, но не поможет.
00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:26,830 А что если он хочет сказать «чалупа»?
00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,000 Представляете?
00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:35,670 Малыш всё время пытался сказать, что ему нужно.
00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:37,110 Классика Солнечных.
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:38,920 Вкусняшка чапупа!
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:42,510 Раз мы можем кормить Пупу чалупой, можно меня не убивать?
00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:45,600 Не люблю менять распорядок, но сделаю исключение.
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,270 Кто знал, что чалупа содержит те же витамины, что мясо инопланетян?
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,020 Пупа так напитался, что эволюционирует!
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:55,070 Чапупа!
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,390 Ого. Только посмотрите.
00:19:57,410 --> 00:20:00,780 Он даже изменил цвет под конец сезона.
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,200 И это я про осень.
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:05,090 Я рада, что мы закончил день без серьёзных перемен.
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:08,970 Не то что в том году, когда пришлось улетать с планеты.
00:20:09,010 --> 00:20:13,940 Точно. Мы спасли Пупу, Ямюляка не нужно убивать, и ничего плохого не вышло.
00:20:13,990 --> 00:20:16,250 Победа Солнечных противоположностей!
00:20:16,290 --> 00:20:18,240 Терри, звони в колокол!
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,280 Ура!
00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:19,610 Да!
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:20,110 Да!
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,550 Дин-дон! Дин-дон!
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,250 Я буду жить! Чалупа, чалупа, чалупа!
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:27,410 Да!
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:38,440 Да, я на шаг ближе к восстановлению контроля над миссией.
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:42,120 Ещё немного. Ещё чуть-чуть.
00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:50,854 Чёрт. И как мне отсюда спуститься?
00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:55,850 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,094 Oh, bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,721 I took the Lord's name in vain.
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,972 I was covetous,
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,349 and I put some Yoplait peach yogurt in my butthole
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,434 and let a cat lick it.
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,060 Holy shit. Ew! A cat?
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,145 You're gonna make me barf.
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,730 Are you supposed to talk like that?
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,273 I thought this was a safe space.
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,858 Yeah. For me to kick your ass!
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,193 What the hell, Father?
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,987 You just got bounty-hunted, bitch!
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,575 Respect.
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:39,998 I'm home.
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,333 Nobody talk to me until I get something to drink.
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,918 I know I'm gonna regret asking this,
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,670 but why are you dressed like the Pope?
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,839 Oh, Terry, you ignorant slut.
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,674 I have to lay low when I bounty hunt.
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:50,967 This is my undercover gear.
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,343 Well, I'm glad you had fun.
00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,679 All I did today was try to suck my own mound.
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,348 I present you the new Pupa.
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,559 - Ah! - Oh, my God!
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,352 Why does he look like a baby Pennywise?
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:02,562 Cha Pupa!
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,522 Aw! That's his cute new thing he says.
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:05,982 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,276 Glen Powell's specialty Kom-BRO-cha.
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,986 I did a bunch of bounty hunting today,
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,946 and it got me real thirsty for bacteria.
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,073 What the hell?
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,949 No teenager wants to drink that shit.
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,951 Wouldn't you rather smoke a fat J
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,244 or huff some cumin?
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,329 What are you talking about?
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,582 The Kom-BRO-cha is marketed specifically to idiots my age.
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:26,419 Okay. The truth is kombucha is poisonous to Shlorpians.
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,129 But Jesse and Terry are drinking them!
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,217 - Mm. Doesn't matter how we taste. - Jesse, no!
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,969 Taste? What does that mean? Why does how I taste matter?
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:38,431 It matters because I need to kill you and feed you to the Pupa.
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,643 Korvo, no!
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,979 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,</i>
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,232 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,235 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,237 <i>and escaped into the... space,</i>
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,697 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,990 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,243 {\an8}<i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,869 {\an8}<i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,079 {\an8}<i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,789 {\an8}<i>My name is Korvo. This is my show.</i>
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,124 {\an8}<i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,167 {\an8}<i>Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.</i>
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,252 {\an8}<i>It's a horrible home.</i>
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,962 {\an8}<i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,047 {\an8}<i>Why can't I pump my own gas in New Jersey?</i>
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,049 {\an8}<i>It's the only Earth activity that calms me down.</i>
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,135 {\an8}<i>I wish the entire atmosphere was fumes.</i>
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,178 {\an8}<i>All the good planets let you breathe oil.</i>
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:26,020 No!
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,189 What's happening here? What the hell was that?
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,650 {\an8}The ray that makes you sit on the couch to hear some hard news.
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,026 {\an8}I thought you were gonna kill me.
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,070 {\an8}- I would never do that. - Okay, good.
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,030 Wait. No, I do do it regularly.
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,366 But first I'm going to explain why I do it.
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,534 Because you respect me.
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,494 {\an8}No, because confusion can make your skin taste
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,662 {\an8}like the bottom of a flip-flop.
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,873 Every three months, a very special thing happens.
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,791 I murder you, blend your body into mush,
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:47,917 and feed you to the Pupa.
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,044 - No, you don't! - Oh, yes, I do.
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:53,590 See, the Pupa needs to be fed your meat every 90 days or he dies.
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,676 I've lived here just as long as you and that's literally never happened.
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,678 Yes, it has. You just don't remember
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,181 because we upload your consciousness to the ship's hard drive
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,892 and transfer your memories to a new brain before I bap you.
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,895 But we leave out the murder memory so you don't get all pissy.
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,813 Okay, fine. Then why am I here?
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,940 {\an8}Allow me to show and tell you.
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,025 {\an8}Cha Pupa!
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,818 Huh. That really is cute.
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,945 AISHA, where did I put that instructional geode
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,030 {\an8}that came with the Pupa?
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,532 <i>Don't ask me. I'm not Mary friggin' Poppins.</i>
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,992 {\an8}Oh, nice. We actually kept it.
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,203 {\an8}The Pupa Owner's Manual, Quartz Edition
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,666 <i>Caution. Failing to feed your Pupa</i>
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,710 <i>replicant meat will result in death.</i>
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,963 <i>Proper care of your Pupa will ensure it evolves</i>
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,840 <i>and terraforms your new world.</i>
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,676 <i>You could feed your Pupa choice cuts of the nutrient replicant</i>
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,887 <i>or just blend and serve whole.</i>
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,972 Oh, that's what we do. Shh!
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,307 {\an8}Hello, replicant.
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,392 {\an8}Have you had a fulfilling day of bounty hunting?
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,144 {\an8}Yes, team leader. I sure have.
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,025 {\an8}- What an idiot. - I hate this.
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,568 {\an8}<i>The team leader now processes</i>
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,862 {\an8}<i>the replicant's proteins in the painless method</i>
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,615 {\an8}<i>devised by our Shlorpian doctors.</i>
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,660 {\an8}That doesn't seem painless.
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,579 {\an8}He means for the team leader. He's not in any pain.
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,877 Aw, look at him go.
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,547 And now I upload the memories, minus just a few.
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,970 <i>In a few weeks, the new body will begin</i>
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:25,348 <i>to produce nutrients, and the cycle will begin again.</i>
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,725 <i>Under no circumstances should this video be shown to your nutrient replicant.</i>
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,352 This is freaking me out!
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,980 {\an8}Don't worry. Being freaked doesn't affect the flavor of your flesh.
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,023 Ugh! Stop talking about my flesh!
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,693 So you guys just kill me and Jesse whenever you want?
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,195 No. Not me. Just you.
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,488 Why just me?
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,240 {\an8}We all have mission jobs.
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,617 {\an8}I'm the chronicler, Terry cares for the Pupa,
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,785 {\an8}Korvo's team leader.
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,704 {\an8}And you're the nutrient replicant.
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,999 {\an8}I'm the bounty hunter. I literally bounty-hunted this morning.
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,917 {\an8}This isn't <i>Star Wars,</i> bro.
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,711 {\an8}That's something the Shlorpian elders made up
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,588 {\an8}so you wouldn't question your actual role as a delicious treat.
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,841 {\an8}But I've seen the Pupa eat all sorts of fast food and junk.
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,801 {\an8}- Just let him eat that. - No, it's empty calories.
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,304 {\an8}Terry and Jesse promised they'd stop feeding him that stuff.
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,388 {\an8}We've been good.
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,433 {\an8}- Yeah, we just say, "No way, Jose." - Cha Pupa!
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:12,061 Being the nutrient replicant is the highest honor a Shlorpian can have.
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,439 Your job is the most important out of all of us.
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:17,400 Oh, man. He is looking pretty hungry.
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,737 Poor little guy. Okay, screw it. I'm in.
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,613 Plus you'll save my memories anyway, right?
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,657 Yep. And after, you won't even remember.
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,950 We'll be back to normal.
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,203 Do you mind if this one time I do it myself?
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,414 Sure. How do you wanna do it? Sword? Flamethrower?
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,916 That thing where you rub your mound while hanging yourself in the closet?
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,376 Just a simple ray will do.
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:39,005 Here you go. Let me just grab the crystal that sucks your memories out. Ah!
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,883 Anyone comes at me with the crystal, I'll blow your fucking head off!
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,217 Cha Pupa?
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,886 - Ah! - Stay back.
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,679 It's not as bad as it sounds.
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,264 We just print out another you.
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,892 We can take all these memories away too. You won't be sad at all.
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,977 Oh, you're right about that. I won't be sad.
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,605 Because I'm blasting the Me Machine.
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,982 Put that ray gun down and kill yourself right now, mister!
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,740 No!
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,700 He ruined my shirt!
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,580 The Pupa's gonna starve without his Yum meat.
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:13,998 The mission's doomed.
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,958 We're all gonna die, and I never even got to tour
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,794 the Burlington Coat Factory factory!
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,463 Everyone chill the fuck out. Uh, let me workshop this.
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,382 Pupa, eat this. It's good for you.
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,883 Cha Pupa.
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,260 - It's all gross and burnt up. - He needs to eat it to live.
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,763 What if we feed the little guy something else from the home world?
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,724 {\an8}Yes! I purposely hid some Shlorpian powdered calorie chunks
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,101 {\an8}in the emergency rations kit.
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,436 'Cause that's what I do. I think ahead, baby.
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,564 Oh, shit. I ate the chunks last year when we ran out of snacks.
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,982 Those were for emergencies!
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,692 It was an emergency.
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:44,112 I had to binge all of <i>Shadow and Bone</i> season two
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,446 so I could spoil it on Discord
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,573 before my Discord dudes could spoil it for me.
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,951 - Here. Lick the wrappers. - No. Cha Pupa.
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,035 You two stay down here
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,662 and try to get the Pupa to lick that wrapper
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,039 while I go work on fixing the Yumyulack printer.
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,584 <i>Are you sure that makeup glue's strong enough?</i>
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,753 This is drag brunch grade eyelash adhesive
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,880 I got from Terry's vanity. It'll work.
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,841 <i>You ever think about what your drag name would be?</i>
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,342 <i>Mine's Nefertitties</i>
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,302 <i>'cause I would have some big old titties.</i>
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,762 Oh, that is good.
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,180 Alright, let's see if this thing works.
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,979 Ugh, this doesn't look right. Scan this thing for nutrients.
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,273 <i>Scanning. That thing is all jacked up.</i>
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,858 <i>The Pupa won't get anything from that.</i>
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,443 Damn it. And the printer's shot.
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,735 We'll have to try something else.
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,237 <i>Is it expanding?</i> - Oh!
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,489 Oh, shit. The growth particles are out of control.
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,741 AISHA, open the hatch. We have to get it off the ship.
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:33,453 Oh, crap, crap. Shitty, shitty, crap.
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,707 <i>Are you gonna just leave it there?</i>
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,084 I'll call heavy item pickup. They'll get it on Tuesday.
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,336 <i>The city is not going like that.</i>
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,589 Oh, come on. Just a wittle-bitty taste.
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,674 - Mm, yummy. - No!
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:50,470 Terry, look. I got Yum's Old Spice Swagger deodorant!
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,555 This has to be loaded with Yum germs.
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,892 Oh, yeah! Here you go, Pupes. It's gym bag flavored.
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,187 Are you okay, little guy?
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,564 Oh, cha Pupa...
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,317 Ah!
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,695 He just sharted a side table?
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,448 Oh, no. This looks like it came from my apartment on the home world.
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,867 Your Pupa just sharted it out with some orange goo.
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,536 - Excuse me? My Pupa. - You heard me.
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,333 The Pupa is prematurely squirting out terraforming fluids
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,793 because his body's malnourished without his nutrients.
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:23,961 Well, that blows.
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,713 Why does it all look like Shlorpian stuff?
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,381 Because he has everything from the home world
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,716 coded into his DNA.
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:29,884 Isn't this a good thing?
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,136 Don't we want the Pupa to terraform?
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,971 This isn't a controlled terraformation.
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,306 The Pupa's body is breaking down.
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,225 This is a destructive and uncontrollable process
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,351 that will ruin this planet.
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,936 If the Pupa doesn't get nutrients soon,
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,437 his sharting will get worse.
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,523 He'll die and so will our chances
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,107 of rebuilding the home world.
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,734 Pupa already has a taste for flesh,
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,819 so let's just find a human similar to Yumyulack
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:49,946 and feed them to him.
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,280 Yes, that could work,
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,407 but it would have to be a real pathetic, ugly loser
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,617 just like Yumyulack.
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,328 Uh, are you seeing this floating Yumyulack head out there?
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,455 What? Don't worry about that. Who knows where that came from?
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,666 The Solar Opposites have to find
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:05,294 a petty bounty hunting-type human who smells like a foot.
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,048 Next. Hello, neighbor Kevin.
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,968 You will be reading for the part of Yumyulack.
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,512 This is so cool. Always wanted to be an actor.
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,806 You know, back in the day, I made some docking videos
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,600 on YouTube before the algorithm demonetized foreskin.
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,686 - Next. - Hi, I'm Sean Giambrone.
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,229 I used to be on ABC's <i>The Goldbergs.</i>
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,939 - Next! - Thank you for inviting me.
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,440 I have many special skills.
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,068 I am a pre-certified Poker Face who--
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,279 Ow! Shit! Fuck! Principal Cooke,
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,406 always fun to see you out in the real world.
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,657 Okay, so for the audition,
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,325 we're workshopping a scene from <i>Dune.</i>
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,618 Put your foot in that box.
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,542 Uh, oh, I feel something licking me.
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,420 When the fear of being licked is gone, only you will remain.
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,172 Ow! Now it's biting me. I knew it!
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,258 These sicko internet perverts just want pics
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,469 of your bloody feet, and they aren't gonna pay for them!
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,013 Bye, Principal Cooke.
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,015 Uh, cha Pupa.
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,017 Goddammit, Pupa. We're trying to help you, you little shit.
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,480 That's my bank from the home world.
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,774 It had terrible operating hours. Run!
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,697 Well, my friends and lover, we're out of moves.
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,782 The Yumyulack-making machine can't be fixed.
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:17,867 The Pupa won't eat.
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,578 There's a big-ass Yumyulack head floating over Denver.
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,496 - Fuck Denver! - I fear, for once,
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,707 we can't sci-fi our way out of this.
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,917 Poor Pupa. I'm so sorry.
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,921 <i>Come on, Korvo. Don't be a little bitch.</i>
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,465 <i>- Just tell them.</i> - AISHA, no.
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,592 What? What shouldn't you be a little bitch about?
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,968 <i>You gotta tell them.</i>
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,930 I can't. It's a moment of weakness I've held for so long. Ugh.
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:43,142 What I'm about to reveal may shake you to your very cores.
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,061 It may destroy the foundation on which
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,021 - our relationship has been-- - Just tell us!
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,232 There is... another Yumyulack.
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,365 Gasping so hard at that revelation got me so hungry!
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,367 Why are Jersey Mike's sammies so good?
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,952 They get their oil and vinegar straight from the New Jersey Turnpike.
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,037 Hey, what did you mean
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,247 that one time you said there's another Yumyulack?
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,874 Hmm. Well, one time, I didn't kill Yumyulack
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,501 and feed him to the Pupa. I let him escape.
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,670 I-I-I don't really remember the details.
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,464 It's a bit of a haze. <i>We good. I got that shit on tape.</i>
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:16,342 No! No, no. We don't have to watch the tape. That's not important.
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,427 <i>I put in a Ring camera after someone kept stealing</i>
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,262 <i>my porcelain frogs, Terry!</i>
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:21,347 <i>Check it out.</i>
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,558 <i>- Ah! - What are you doing?</i>
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,602 <i>Please, don't stab me.</i>
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,687 <i>No, I-I wasn't.</i>
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,313 <i>I was gonna suck out your memories and then kill you.</i>
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,817 <i>No, but please. Papa, don't do that either.</i>
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,026 <i>Papa?</i>
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,986 <i>Ah.</i>
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,655 <i>- Go. - You're not gonna kill me?</i>
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,864 <i>I've got a copy of your memories.</i>
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,658 <i>Now go before I change my mind.</i>
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,159 Damn you, AISHA.
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,204 He called me Papa. No Yumyulack has ever said that.
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,124 He was so sweet. Not like all the other dipshit Yumyulacks.
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,961 Oh, Korvo. I thought I was the only one with daddy issues.
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,922 I've been trying to develop them as a Cesar Chavez Day present to you.
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,257 But I guess it worked too well.
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,051 Oh, my God. Stop being such a pushover!
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:02,847 You're team leader, man. Pull yourself together!
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,224 Your Pupa is getting gray and blasting goo.
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,102 We've gotta find that Yumyulack. When did you let him go?
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,187 It was back when I was really into eating stews,
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,149 so I got the idea to send him to live a peaceful existence in Ireland.
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,068 Plus, I knew Terry would never go there due to his feud with The Edge.
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,571 Well, that goateed, beanie-wearing bitch stole my look!
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,577 Fresh konixberries for sa...
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,120 Where am I?
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,997 Cha Pupa.
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,499 We're running out of time!
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,376 AISHA, watch the Pupa and see if you can get
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,128 the Yumyulack-making machine working again.
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,463 <i>I was about to go on break.</i>
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,381 You'll get OT. We'll fly to Ireland,
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:39,175 grab that tender-ass Yumyulack, bring him back,
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,843 and feed the Pupa before it's too late.
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,303 You know, I-I-I'm just telling you right now,
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,555 if I see The Edge, I'm not gonna walk on.
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,807 I'm gonna slap that goatee right off his face.
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,101 It's not gonna be a beautiful day for him.
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,487 This place looks hella quaint.
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,114 Wait, is that The Edge playing the fiddle in the corner?
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,576 Terry, that's a lady and she's, like, 90.
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,953 Hello. Name's Seamus O'Drinky.
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,164 This is me family's Irish pub.
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,792 We're looking for a sweet wannabe fuckboy. Ye high.
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,084 Might go by the name Yumyulack
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,544 or Grand Muff Tarkin,
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,837 his Xbox name.
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,464 Sorry. Can't help you.
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,842 I'd remember if a funny-looking fella like that came in here.
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:25,554 - Thanks for your time. - I'm watching you, fiddle slut.
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,854 McYumyulack, it's Seamus.
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:38,025 Seems your Pa's finally come to town.
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:41,612 Look, you know only one dirty-ass hoe
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,865 {\an8}would need that much X-Treme Sour Gooseberry Rockstars.
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,242 That son of a bitch The Edge.
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,160 Oh, my God. It's Yumyulack.
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,287 Jesus, Terry. Get over it.
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,793 This must be his place. Look at the name.
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,962 Classy. Hey, there he is!
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,841 Oh, this is gonna be easy peasy, Dan Cortese.
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,634 I'm excited to see Yumyulack,
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,761 even if it is a low-rent Irish version.
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:08,472 Don't bring emotion into this. He's just Pupa food.
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,100 Ah, stupid wire. Someone could trip on this.
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,894 I'm gonna kick it in three, a-two, and...
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,355 Terry, don't!
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,193 You arseholes aren't taking me back. Get fucked!
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,862 That Yumyulack's not sweet or tender.
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,655 And he talks all Irishy now?
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,991 He played me, calling me Papa.
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,618 We gotta take this bitch down now.
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,662 Oh, hell, yeah. Another wire.
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,997 Terry, would you just leave it?
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,248 Fine.
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,918 Yumyulack?
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,589 We just came to say hi and see how things are going.
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,967 Bull shite! And I go by McYumyulack now.
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,760 That's me Irish name.
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,053 I really like that for him.
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,431 For years, I've waited and planned for this day.
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,392 Booby-trapped the whole house, so don't come any closer
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,477 or I'll blow yas to hell.
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,479 I know we hate on the guy for being such a dick,
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,899 but he's really made a life for himself here.
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,068 Yeah. Maybe we should peace out and just let him be Irish in peace. Peace!
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,196 No! We need to get him to the house, chop him up, and feed him to the Pupa
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,908 or there won't be a planet for Ireland to be the crown jewel of.
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,576 I heard that!
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,290 Leave our lad alone or we'll burn you up and bury you in the peat!
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,335 Damn it. All our sci-fi weapons got confiscated at the airport.
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,629 Aer Lingus, more like ass dingus.
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,380 Don't take Aer Lingus' name in vain.
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,007 It's the sexiest airline.
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,885 We gotta grab McYum Nuts and get the "fook" out of here.
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,095 Alright, you bog-brained Murphies,
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,514 I shit all over your shamrocks.
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,017 And Cillian Murphy can lick my balls!
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,270 Oh! Ow!
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:44,818 Ah!
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,279 Oh! Ah!
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:52,993 Ah!
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,332 Ooh-wee!
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,510 - You're good. - Aye. I had a good teacher.
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,679 - Oh, was it me? - No, you fucking idiot!
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,765 It was Sensei Sean at the O'Punchies Karate dojo!
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,438 Finish him, Korvo! Finish him!
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,607 Papa? Please don't make me go.
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,902 I have no choice. I'm not your papa. I'm the team leader.
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,779 And you have nutrients the Pupa needs.
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,072 It's my duty and yours.
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:34,660 You taught me a long time ago to only care about meself.
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,704 So that's what I'm gonna do.
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,789 Ah, no!
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,127 Oh, my God. They fell in the ice! Where are they?
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,088 RIP, Korvo and Yumyulack.
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,882 So what should two fun single gals do
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,218 in a town full of repressed drunk European men?
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,387 Ah! I got him! I...
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,763 Wait, were you guys just gonna leave?
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,098 You both went in the ice!
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,018 In the movies, that means you're dead. Do your own research.
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,811 You didn't even wait five seconds.
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,730 Well, it's cold out here. I'm sorry.
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,372 So, yeah, The Edge was just sitting there in the Dublin Airport.
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,083 He was such a nice guy. He even gave me one of his beanies.
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,544 He said we could be Beanie Boys together so we don't have to compete.
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,505 Yep. No more competish, so my whole thing's resolved.
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,716 We should get this over with before the Pupa gets any worse.
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,384 This isn't over yet.
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,761 Hey, what happened to your accent?
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,305 It goes away if I don't watch a Colin Farrell movie every day.
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,223 McYumyulack, I just want to say I'm sorry.
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,641 I didn't want it to be this way.
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,809 If I could change the rules,
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,770 I never would've murdered you over and over again
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,189 and fed you to the Pupa like you were applesauce.
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,774 Yeah, right. You're a narc!
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,276 I'll pull your memories out in case we ever repair the printer.
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,488 How about you just admit you're an asshole and let me go?
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,782 Sorry. Timing just isn't right.
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,866 Ah.
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,326 - Stop! - Ah! What?
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,286 - Timing wasn't right. - Get outta the way!
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,871 When you let this McYum go,
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,664 did you print out another one right away?
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:05,084 - Yes, of course. - And did you feed him to the Pupa?
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,586 No. The nutrients don't come in for a couple of weeks.
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,670 But when you were waiting,
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,007 the Pupa didn't shart any terraforming goo.
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,218 Wait. You're right. He didn't.
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,178 A-ha! So what does that mean?
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,306 It means he must have gotten his nutrients from something else.
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,434 Maybe the Pupa got fed something to stay alive.
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,104 That's impossible. We haven't been feeding the Pupa any Earth food.
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,897 You guys told me you were being good.
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,440 Oopsies.
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,150 You two fed him something, didn't you? What was it?
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,819 We totally ignored your rule.
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,237 We fed him all sorts of stuff.
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,738 We knew he was gonna get all of his vitamins
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,240 and minerals from Yumyulack anyway,
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,700 so it shouldn't even really matter if we gave him a little extra.
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,869 I explicitly said no human food.
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,996 It was last year right before we went to that other planet.
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:45,332 - What did you feed him? - It could have been McDonald's?
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,792 Great. Let's go get some McDonald's.
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,460 - Or Burger King? - Okay.
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,547 I don't like how much you ignored my rule, but let's get that too.
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,715 And Wendy's, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Domino's...
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,260 Wingstop, Papa John's, KFC, Panda Express...
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,637 But never any Long John Silvers!
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,056 Yeah. We drew the line at Long John Silvers.
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,349 We're not monsters.
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:03,892 We don't have time to narrow all that down.
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,310 The Pupa is dying.
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,271 We need to feed him this Yumyulack and then we'll figure it out.
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,772 Well, I vote we narrow it down.
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,357 Sorry, this is the only way.
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,944 Cha Pupa.
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,404 Wait. Did you hear that?
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,613 Stop fucking stalling.
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,073 I'm not! The Pupa speaks!
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,284 Cha Pupa.
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,744 So? He's been saying "cha Pupa" a bunch.
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,204 It's super cute, but that won't help.
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,915 What if he's trying to say "chalupa"?
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,126 Oh!
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,005 Can you believe it?
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,214 The little guy was just trying to tell us
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,674 what he needed the whole time.
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,050 Classic Solar.
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,927 Mm, yummy cha Pupa!
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,846 Now that we can feed the Pupa chalupas,
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,431 can we stop killing me every 90 days?
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:45,601 Well, I hate changing my routine, but in this case, I'll make an exception.
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:49,271 Who knew chalupas would provide the same vitamins as alien meat?
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,899 Pupa is so full of nutrients. He's evolving!
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:55,068 Cha Pupa!
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,237 Whoa! Will you look at that?
00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:00,782 He even turned a new color just in time for the end of the season.
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,201 And by that, I mean autumn.
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,995 I'm just happy we ended the day without any huge change.
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,748 Unlike last year, when we had to leave the planet
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,916 and all that nonsense.
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,500 That's right. We saved the Pupa,
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,211 Yumyulack doesn't have to get harvested,
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,879 and nothing bad came from it.
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,173 A big win for the Solar Opposites!
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,008 Terry, ring the bell!
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:26,141 I can live! Chalupa, chalupa, chalupa!
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:38,445 Yes, I am one step closer to regaining control of the mission.
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:42,074 Soon enough. Soon enough.
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:50,582 Goddammit. How the fuck am I gonna get down there?

00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,094 Oh, bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,721 I took the Lord's name in vain.
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,972 I was covetous,
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,349 and I put some Yoplait peach yogurt in my butthole
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,434 and let a cat lick it.
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,060 [Yumyulack] Holy shit. Ew! A cat?
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,145 You're gonna make me barf.
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,730 Are you supposed to talk like that?
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,273 I thought this was a safe space.
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,858 [Yumyulack] Yeah. For me to kick your ass!
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,193 [yelps] What the hell, Father?
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,987 You just got bounty-hunted, bitch!
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,575 Respect.
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,996 ♪
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:39,998 [grunts] I'm home.
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,333 Nobody talk to me until I get something to drink.
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,918 I know I'm gonna regret asking this,
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,670 but why are you dressed like the Pope?
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,839 Oh, Terry, you ignorant slut.
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,674 I have to lay low when I bounty hunt.
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:50,967 This is my undercover gear.
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,343 Well, I'm glad you had fun.
00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,679 All I did today was try to suck my own mound.
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,348 I present you the new Pupa.
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,559 - Ah! - Oh, my God!
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,352 Why does he look like a baby Pennywise?
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:02,562 Cha Pupa!
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,522 Aw! That's his cute new thing he says.
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:05,982 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,276 Glen Powell's specialty Kom-BRO-cha.
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,986 I did a bunch of bounty hunting today,
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,946 and it got me real thirsty for bacteria.
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,073 - [bottle shatters] - What the hell?
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,949 No teenager wants to drink that shit.
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,951 Wouldn't you rather smoke a fat J
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,244 or huff some cumin?
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,329 What are you talking about?
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,582 The Kom-BRO-cha is marketed specifically to idiots my age.
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:26,419 Okay. The truth is kombucha is poisonous to Shlorpians.
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,129 But Jesse and Terry are drinking them!
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,422 [gulping]
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,217 - Mm. Doesn't matter how we taste. - Jesse, no!
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,969 Taste? What does that mean? Why does how I taste matter?
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:38,431 It matters because I need to kill you and feed you to the Pupa.
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,643 Korvo, no!
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,979 [Korvo] <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,</i>
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,232 <i>until the asteroid hit.</i>
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,235 <i>One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,237 <i>and escaped into the... space,</i>
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,697 <i>searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.</i>
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,990 <i>We crashed on Earth,</i>
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,243 {\an8}<i>stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.</i>
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,869 {\an8}<i>That's right, I've been talking this whole time.</i>
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,079 {\an8}<i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,789 {\an8}<i>My name is Korvo. This is my show.</i>
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,124 {\an8}<i>Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,167 {\an8}<i>Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.</i>
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,252 {\an8}<i>It's a horrible home.</i>
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,962 {\an8}<i>People are stupid and confusing.</i>
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,047 {\an8}<i>Why can't I pump my own gas in New Jersey?</i>
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,049 {\an8}<i>It's the only Earth activity that calms me down.</i>
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,135 {\an8}<i>I wish the entire atmosphere was fumes.</i>
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,178 {\an8}<i>All the good planets let you breathe oil.</i>
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:20,390 [♪ dramatic music playing]
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:26,020 No!
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,189 What's happening here? What the hell was that?
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,650 {\an8}The ray that makes you sit on the couch to hear some hard news.
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,026 {\an8}I thought you were gonna kill me.
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,070 {\an8}- I would never do that. - Okay, good.
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,030 Wait. No, I do do it regularly.
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,366 But first I'm going to explain why I do it.
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,534 Because you respect me.
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,494 {\an8}No, because confusion can make your skin taste
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,662 {\an8}like the bottom of a flip-flop.
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,873 Every three months, a very special thing happens.
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,791 I murder you, blend your body into mush,
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:47,917 and feed you to the Pupa.
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,044 - No, you don't! - Oh, yes, I do.
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:53,590 See, the Pupa needs to be fed your meat every 90 days or he dies.
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,676 I've lived here just as long as you and that's literally never happened.
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,678 Yes, it has. You just don't remember
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,181 because we upload your consciousness to the ship's hard drive
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,892 and transfer your memories to a new brain before I bap you.
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,895 But we leave out the murder memory so you don't get all pissy.
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,813 Okay, fine. Then why am I here?
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,940 {\an8}Allow me to show and tell you.
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,025 {\an8}Cha Pupa!
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,818 Huh. That really is cute.
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,945 AISHA, where did I put that instructional geode
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,030 {\an8}that came with the Pupa?
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,532 {\an8}[AISHA] <i>Don't ask me. I'm not Mary friggin' Poppins.</i>
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,992 {\an8}Oh, nice. We actually kept it.
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,203 {\an8}The Pupa Owner's Manual, Quartz Edition
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,246 {\an8}[computer whirring, beeping]
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,666 [electronic voice] <i>Caution. Failing to feed your Pupa</i>
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,710 <i>replicant meat will result in death.</i>
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,963 <i>Proper care of your Pupa will ensure it evolves</i>
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,840 <i>and terraforms your new world.</i>
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,676 <i>You could feed your Pupa choice cuts of the nutrient replicant</i>
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,887 <i>or just blend and serve whole.</i>
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,972 - [Terry] Oh, that's what we do. - [Korvo] Shh!
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,307 {\an8}Hello, replicant.
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,392 {\an8}Have you had a fulfilling day of bounty hunting?
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,144 {\an8}Yes, team leader. I sure have.
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,562 {\an8}[team leader laughs]
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,773 {\an8}- [crystal slurping] - [replicant groans]
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,025 {\an8}- What an idiot. - I hate this.
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,568 {\an8}[electronic voice] <i>The team leader now processes</i>
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,862 {\an8}<i>the replicant's proteins in the painless method</i>
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,615 {\an8}<i>devised by our Shlorpian doctors.</i>
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,783 {\an8}[replicant screaming]
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,660 {\an8}That doesn't seem painless.
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,579 {\an8}He means for the team leader. He's not in any pain.
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,667 [noisy munching]
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,877 [Jesse] Aw, look at him go.
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,547 And now I upload the memories, minus just a few.
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,970 [electronic voice] <i>In a few weeks, the new body will begin</i>
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:25,348 <i>to produce nutrients, and the cycle will begin again.</i>
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,725 <i>Under no circumstances should this video be shown to your nutrient replicant.</i>
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,352 This is freaking me out!
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,980 {\an8}Don't worry. Being freaked doesn't affect the flavor of your flesh.
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,023 Ugh! Stop talking about my flesh!
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,693 So you guys just kill me and Jesse whenever you want?
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,195 No. Not me. Just you.
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,488 Why just me?
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,240 {\an8}We all have mission jobs.
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,617 {\an8}I'm the chronicler, Terry cares for the Pupa,
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,785 {\an8}Korvo's team leader.
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,704 {\an8}And you're the nutrient replicant.
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,999 {\an8}I'm the bounty hunter. I literally bounty-hunted this morning.
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,917 {\an8}This isn't <i>Star Wars,</i> bro.
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,711 {\an8}That's something the Shlorpian elders made up
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,588 {\an8}so you wouldn't question your actual role as a delicious treat.
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,841 {\an8}But I've seen the Pupa eat all sorts of fast food and junk.
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,801 {\an8}- Just let him eat that. - No, it's empty calories.
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,304 {\an8}Terry and Jesse promised they'd stop feeding him that stuff.
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,388 {\an8}We've been good.
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,433 {\an8}- Yeah, we just say, "No way, Jose." - Cha Pupa!
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:12,061 Being the nutrient replicant is the highest honor a Shlorpian can have.
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,439 Your job is the most important out of all of us.
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:17,400 [Yumyulack] Oh, man. He is looking pretty hungry.
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,737 Poor little guy. Okay, screw it. I'm in.
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,613 Plus you'll save my memories anyway, right?
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,657 Yep. And after, you won't even remember.
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,950 We'll be back to normal.
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,203 Do you mind if this one time I do it myself?
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,414 Sure. How do you wanna do it? Sword? Flamethrower?
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,916 That thing where you rub your mound while hanging yourself in the closet?
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,376 Just a simple ray will do.
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:39,005 Here you go. Let me just grab the crystal that sucks your memories out. Ah!
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,883 Anyone comes at me with the crystal, I'll blow your fucking head off!
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,217 Cha Pupa?
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,886 - Ah! - Stay back.
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,679 It's not as bad as it sounds.
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,264 We just print out another you.
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,892 We can take all these memories away too. You won't be sad at all.
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,977 Oh, you're right about that. I won't be sad.
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,605 Because I'm blasting the Me Machine.
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,982 Put that ray gun down and kill yourself right now, mister!
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,151 [both grunting]
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,653 - [explosion booms] - [Yumyulack screams]
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,740 No!
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,700 He ruined my shirt!
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,580 The Pupa's gonna starve without his Yum meat.
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:13,998 The mission's doomed.
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,958 We're all gonna die, and I never even got to tour
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,794 the Burlington Coat Factory factory!
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,463 Everyone chill the fuck out. Uh, let me workshop this.
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,382 Pupa, eat this. It's good for you.
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,883 - Cha Pupa. - [stomach growls]
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,260 - It's all gross and burnt up. - He needs to eat it to live.
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,763 What if we feed the little guy something else from the home world?
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,724 {\an8}Yes! I purposely hid some Shlorpian powdered calorie chunks
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,101 {\an8}in the emergency rations kit.
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,436 'Cause that's what I do. I think ahead, baby.
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,564 Oh, shit. I ate the chunks last year when we ran out of snacks.
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,982 Those were for emergencies!
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,692 It was an emergency.
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:44,112 I had to binge all of <i>Shadow and Bone</i> season two
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,446 so I could spoil it on Discord
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,573 before my Discord dudes could spoil it for me.
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,951 - Here. Lick the wrappers. - No. Cha Pupa.
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,035 You two stay down here
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,662 and try to get the Pupa to lick that wrapper
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,039 while I go work on fixing the Yumyulack printer.
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,584 [AISHA] <i>Are you sure that makeup glue's strong enough?</i>
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,753 This is drag brunch grade eyelash adhesive
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,880 I got from Terry's vanity. It'll work.
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,841 [AISHA] <i>You ever think about what your drag name would be?</i>
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,342 <i>Mine's Nefertitties</i>
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,302 <i>'cause I would have some big old titties.</i>
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,762 Oh, that is good.
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,180 Alright, let's see if this thing works.
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,891 [machine beeps, whirs]
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,979 Ugh, this doesn't look right. Scan this thing for nutrients.
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,273 [AISHA] <i>Scanning. That thing is all jacked up.</i>
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,858 <i>The Pupa won't get anything from that.</i>
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,443 Damn it. And the printer's shot.
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,735 We'll have to try something else.
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,237 - [AISHA] <i>Is it expanding?</i> - Oh!
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,489 Oh, shit. The growth particles are out of control.
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,741 AISHA, open the hatch. We have to get it off the ship.
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:33,453 Oh, crap, crap. Shitty, shitty, crap.
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,707 [AISHA] <i>Are you gonna just leave it there?</i>
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,084 I'll call heavy item pickup. They'll get it on Tuesday.
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,336 [AISHA] <i>The city is not going like that.</i>
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,589 Oh, come on. Just a wittle-bitty taste.
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,674 - Mm, yummy. - No!
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:50,470 Terry, look. I got Yum's Old Spice Swagger deodorant!
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,555 This has to be loaded with Yum germs.
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,892 Oh, yeah! Here you go, Pupes. It's gym bag flavored.
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,935 - [Pupa barfs] - [stomach growls]
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,187 Are you okay, little guy?
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,564 - Oh, cha Pupa... - [stomach growling]
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,317 Ah!
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,695 He just sharted a side table?
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,448 Oh, no. This looks like it came from my apartment on the home world.
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,867 Your Pupa just sharted it out with some orange goo.
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,536 - Excuse me? My Pupa. - You heard me.
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,829 [goo splatters]
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,333 The Pupa is prematurely squirting out terraforming fluids
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,793 because his body's malnourished without his nutrients.
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:23,961 Well, that blows.
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,713 Why does it all look like Shlorpian stuff?
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,381 Because he has everything from the home world
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,716 coded into his DNA.
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:29,884 Isn't this a good thing?
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,136 Don't we want the Pupa to terraform?
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,971 This isn't a controlled terraformation.
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,306 The Pupa's body is breaking down.
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,225 This is a destructive and uncontrollable process
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,351 that will ruin this planet.
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,936 If the Pupa doesn't get nutrients soon,
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,437 his sharting will get worse.
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,523 He'll die and so will our chances
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,107 of rebuilding the home world.
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,734 Pupa already has a taste for flesh,
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,819 so let's just find a human similar to Yumyulack
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:49,946 and feed them to him.
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,280 Yes, that could work,
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,407 but it would have to be a real pathetic, ugly loser
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,617 just like Yumyulack.
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,328 Uh, are you seeing this floating Yumyulack head out there?
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,455 What? Don't worry about that. Who knows where that came from?
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,666 The Solar Opposites have to find
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:05,294 a petty bounty hunting-type human who smells like a foot.
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,048 - Next. - [Terry] Hello, neighbor Kevin.
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,968 You will be reading for the part of Yumyulack.
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,512 This is so cool. Always wanted to be an actor.
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,806 You know, back in the day, I made some docking videos
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,600 on YouTube before the algorithm demonetized foreskin.
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,686 - Next. - Hi, I'm Sean Giambrone.
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,229 I used to be on ABC's <i>The Goldbergs.</i>
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,939 - Next! - Thank you for inviting me.
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,440 I have many special skills.
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,068 I am a pre-certified Poker Face who--
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,279 - Ow! Shit! Fuck! - [Jesse] Principal Cooke,
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,406 always fun to see you out in the real world.
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,657 Okay, so for the audition,
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,325 we're workshopping a scene from <i>Dune.</i>
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,618 Put your foot in that box.
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,542 Uh, oh, I feel something licking me.
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,420 When the fear of being licked is gone, only you will remain.
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,172 - [crunching] - Ow! Now it's biting me. I knew it!
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,258 These sicko internet perverts just want pics
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,469 of your bloody feet, and they aren't gonna pay for them!
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,013 Bye, Principal Cooke.
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,015 Uh, cha Pupa.
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,017 Goddammit, Pupa. We're trying to help you, you little shit.
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,393 [Pupa retches]
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,480 That's my bank from the home world.
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,774 It had terrible operating hours. Run!
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,651 [all yell]
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,653 [Pupa coughs]
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,697 Well, my friends and lover, we're out of moves.
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,782 The Yumyulack-making machine can't be fixed.
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:17,867 The Pupa won't eat.
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,578 There's a big-ass Yumyulack head floating over Denver.
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,496 - Fuck Denver! - I fear, for once,
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,707 we can't sci-fi our way out of this.
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,917 Poor Pupa. I'm so sorry.
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,002 [Pupa retches]
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,921 [AISHA] <i>Come on, Korvo. Don't be a little bitch.</i>
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,465 <i>- Just tell them.</i> - AISHA, no.
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,592 What? What shouldn't you be a little bitch about?
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,968 [AISHA] <i>You gotta tell them.</i>
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,930 I can't. It's a moment of weakness I've held for so long. Ugh.
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:43,142 What I'm about to reveal may shake you to your very cores.
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,061 It may destroy the foundation on which
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,021 - our relationship has been-- - Just tell us!
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,232 There is... another Yumyulack.
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,734 [Terry and Jesse gasp]
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,365 Gasping so hard at that revelation got me so hungry!
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,367 Why are Jersey Mike's sammies so good?
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,952 They get their oil and vinegar straight from the New Jersey Turnpike.
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,037 Hey, what did you mean
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,247 that one time you said there's another Yumyulack?
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,874 Hmm. Well, one time, I didn't kill Yumyulack
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,501 and feed him to the Pupa. I let him escape.
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,670 I-I-I don't really remember the details.
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,464 - It's a bit of a haze. - [AISHA] <i>We good. I got that shit on tape.</i>
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:16,342 No! No, no. We don't have to watch the tape. That's not important.
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,427 [AISHA] <i>I put in a Ring camera after someone kept stealing</i>
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,262 <i>my porcelain frogs, Terry!</i>
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:21,347 <i>Check it out.</i>
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,558 <i>- Ah! - What are you doing?</i>
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,602 <i>Please, don't stab me.</i>
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,687 <i>No, I-I wasn't.</i>
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,313 <i>I was gonna suck out your memories and then kill you.</i>
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,817 <i>No, but please. Papa, don't do that either.</i>
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,026 <i>Papa?</i>
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,986 <i>- Ah.</i> - [crystal slurping]
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,655 <i>- Go. - You're not gonna kill me?</i>
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,864 <i>I've got a copy of your memories.</i>
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,658 <i>Now go before I change my mind.</i>
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,159 Damn you, AISHA.
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,204 He called me Papa. No Yumyulack has ever said that.
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,124 He was so sweet. Not like all the other dipshit Yumyulacks.
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,961 Oh, Korvo. I thought I was the only one with daddy issues.
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,922 I've been trying to develop them as a Cesar Chavez Day present to you.
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,257 But I guess it worked too well.
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,051 Oh, my God. Stop being such a pushover!
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:02,847 You're team leader, man. Pull yourself together!
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,224 Your Pupa is getting gray and blasting goo.
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,102 We've gotta find that Yumyulack. When did you let him go?
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,187 It was back when I was really into eating stews,
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,149 so I got the idea to send him to live a peaceful existence in Ireland.
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,068 Plus, I knew Terry would never go there due to his feud with The Edge.
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,571 Well, that goateed, beanie-wearing bitch stole my look!
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,905 [spurting]
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,577 Fresh konixberries for sa...
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,120 Where am I?
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,997 Cha Pupa.
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,331 [vendor and stand explode]
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,499 We're running out of time!
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,376 AISHA, watch the Pupa and see if you can get
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,128 the Yumyulack-making machine working again.
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,463 [AISHA] <i>I was about to go on break.</i>
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,381 You'll get OT. We'll fly to Ireland,
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:39,175 grab that tender-ass Yumyulack, bring him back,
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,843 and feed the Pupa before it's too late.
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,303 You know, I-I-I'm just telling you right now,
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,555 if I see The Edge, I'm not gonna walk on.
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,807 I'm gonna slap that goatee right off his face.
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,101 It's not gonna be a beautiful day for him.
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,771 ♪
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,067 [♪ Celtic violin music playing]
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,487 This place looks hella quaint.
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,114 Wait, is that The Edge playing the fiddle in the corner?
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,576 Terry, that's a lady and she's, like, 90.
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,953 Hello. Name's Seamus O'Drinky.
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,164 This is me family's Irish pub.
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,792 We're looking for a sweet wannabe fuckboy. Ye high.
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,084 Might go by the name Yumyulack
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,544 or Grand Muff Tarkin,
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,837 his Xbox name.
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,464 Sorry. Can't help you.
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,842 I'd remember if a funny-looking fella like that came in here.
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:25,554 - Thanks for your time. - I'm watching you, fiddle slut.
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,854 McYumyulack, it's Seamus.
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:38,025 Seems your Pa's finally come to town.
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:41,612 Look, you know only one dirty-ass hoe
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,865 {\an8}would need that much X-Treme Sour Gooseberry Rockstars.
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,242 That son of a bitch The Edge.
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,160 Oh, my God. It's Yumyulack.
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,287 Jesus, Terry. Get over it.
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,793 This must be his place. Look at the name.
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,962 [Terry] Classy. Hey, there he is!
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,841 Oh, this is gonna be easy peasy, Dan Cortese.
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,634 I'm excited to see Yumyulack,
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,761 even if it is a low-rent Irish version.
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:08,472 Don't bring emotion into this. He's just Pupa food.
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,100 Ah, stupid wire. Someone could trip on this.
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,894 I'm gonna kick it in three, a-two, and...
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,355 - Terry, don't! - [explosion booms]
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,193 [Irish accent] You arseholes aren't taking me back. Get fucked!
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,862 That Yumyulack's not sweet or tender.
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,655 And he talks all Irishy now?
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,991 He played me, calling me Papa.
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,618 We gotta take this bitch down now.
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,662 Oh, hell, yeah. Another wire.
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,997 [Korvo] Terry, would you just leave it?
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,248 Fine.
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,918 Yumyulack?
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,589 We just came to say hi and see how things are going.
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,967 Bull shite! And I go by McYumyulack now.
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,760 That's me Irish name.
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,053 I really like that for him.
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,431 For years, I've waited and planned for this day.
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,392 Booby-trapped the whole house, so don't come any closer
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,477 or I'll blow yas to hell.
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,479 I know we hate on the guy for being such a dick,
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,899 but he's really made a life for himself here.
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,068 Yeah. Maybe we should peace out and just let him be Irish in peace. Peace!
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,196 No! We need to get him to the house, chop him up, and feed him to the Pupa
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,908 or there won't be a planet for Ireland to be the crown jewel of.
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,576 I heard that!
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,161 [explosions boom]
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,290 Leave our lad alone or we'll burn you up and bury you in the peat!
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,335 Damn it. All our sci-fi weapons got confiscated at the airport.
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,629 Aer Lingus, more like ass dingus.
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,380 Don't take Aer Lingus' name in vain.
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,007 It's the sexiest airline.
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,885 We gotta grab McYum Nuts and get the "fook" out of here.
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,095 Alright, you bog-brained Murphies,
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,514 I shit all over your shamrocks.
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,017 And Cillian Murphy can lick my balls!
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,270 Oh! Ow!
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,397 [♪ dramatic music playing]
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:44,818 Ah!
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,279 Oh! Ah!
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,531 [McYumyulack panting]
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:52,993 Ah!
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,332 Ooh-wee!
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,797 [both grunting]
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,510 - You're good. - Aye. I had a good teacher.
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,679 - Oh, was it me? - No, you fucking idiot!
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,765 It was Sensei Sean at the O'Punchies Karate dojo!
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,102 [both grunting]
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,438 Finish him, Korvo! Finish him!
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,607 Papa? Please don't make me go.
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,902 I have no choice. I'm not your papa. I'm the team leader.
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,779 And you have nutrients the Pupa needs.
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,072 It's my duty and yours.
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:34,660 You taught me a long time ago to only care about meself.
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,704 - So that's what I'm gonna do. - [ice cracks]
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,789 - [splashing] - Ah, no!
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,127 Oh, my God. They fell in the ice! Where are they?
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,088 RIP, Korvo and Yumyulack.
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,882 So what should two fun single gals do
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,218 in a town full of repressed drunk European men?
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,387 Ah! I got him! I...
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,763 Wait, were you guys just gonna leave?
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,098 You both went in the ice!
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,018 In the movies, that means you're dead. Do your own research.
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,811 [Korvo] You didn't even wait five seconds.
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,730 Well, it's cold out here. I'm sorry.
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,861 [people screaming]
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,745 [liquid splatters]
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,372 So, yeah, The Edge was just sitting there in the Dublin Airport.
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,083 He was such a nice guy. He even gave me one of his beanies.
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,544 He said we could be Beanie Boys together so we don't have to compete.
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,505 Yep. No more competish, so my whole thing's resolved.
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,716 We should get this over with before the Pupa gets any worse.
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,384 [normal voice] This isn't over yet.
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,761 Hey, what happened to your accent?
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,305 It goes away if I don't watch a Colin Farrell movie every day.
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,223 McYumyulack, I just want to say I'm sorry.
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,641 I didn't want it to be this way.
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,809 If I could change the rules,
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,770 I never would've murdered you over and over again
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,189 and fed you to the Pupa like you were applesauce.
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,774 Yeah, right. You're a narc!
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,276 I'll pull your memories out in case we ever repair the printer.
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,488 How about you just admit you're an asshole and let me go?
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,782 Sorry. Timing just isn't right.
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,866 Ah.
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,326 - Stop! - Ah! What?
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,286 - Timing wasn't right. - Get outta the way!
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,871 When you let this McYum go,
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,664 did you print out another one right away?
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:05,084 - Yes, of course. - And did you feed him to the Pupa?
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,586 No. The nutrients don't come in for a couple of weeks.
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,670 But when you were waiting,
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,007 the Pupa didn't shart any terraforming goo.
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,218 [gasps] Wait. You're right. He didn't.
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,178 A-ha! So what does that mean?
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,306 It means he must have gotten his nutrients from something else.
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,434 Maybe the Pupa got fed something to stay alive.
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,104 That's impossible. We haven't been feeding the Pupa any Earth food.
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,897 You guys told me you were being good.
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,440 Oopsies.
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,150 You two fed him something, didn't you? What was it?
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,819 We totally ignored your rule.
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,237 We fed him all sorts of stuff.
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,738 We knew he was gonna get all of his vitamins
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,240 and minerals from Yumyulack anyway,
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,700 so it shouldn't even really matter if we gave him a little extra.
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,869 I explicitly said no human food.
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,996 It was last year right before we went to that other planet.
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:45,332 - What did you feed him? - It could have been McDonald's?
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,792 Great. Let's go get some McDonald's.
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,460 - Or Burger King? - Okay.
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,547 I don't like how much you ignored my rule, but let's get that too.
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,715 And Wendy's, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Domino's...
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,260 Wingstop, Papa John's, KFC, Panda Express...
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,637 But never any Long John Silvers!
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,056 Yeah. We drew the line at Long John Silvers.
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,349 We're not monsters.
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:03,892 We don't have time to narrow all that down.
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,310 The Pupa is dying.
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,271 We need to feed him this Yumyulack and then we'll figure it out.
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,772 Well, I vote we narrow it down.
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,357 Sorry, this is the only way.
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,442 - [crystal slurping] - [Yumyulack groaning]
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,944 [Pupa] Cha Pupa.
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,404 Wait. Did you hear that?
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,613 Stop fucking stalling.
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,073 I'm not! The Pupa speaks!
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,284 Cha Pupa.
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,744 So? He's been saying "cha Pupa" a bunch.
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,204 It's super cute, but that won't help.
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,915 What if he's trying to say "chalupa"?
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,126 [Terry/Korvo/Jesse] Oh!
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,005 [Terry] Can you believe it?
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,214 The little guy was just trying to tell us
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,674 what he needed the whole time.
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,050 Classic Solar.
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,927 Mm, yummy cha Pupa!
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,846 Now that we can feed the Pupa chalupas,
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,431 can we stop killing me every 90 days?
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:45,601 Well, I hate changing my routine, but in this case, I'll make an exception.
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:49,271 Who knew chalupas would provide the same vitamins as alien meat?
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,899 Pupa is so full of nutrients. He's evolving!
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:55,068 Cha Pupa!
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,237 Whoa! Will you look at that?
00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:00,782 He even turned a new color just in time for the end of the season.
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,201 And by that, I mean autumn.
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,995 I'm just happy we ended the day without any huge change.
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,748 Unlike last year, when we had to leave the planet
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,916 and all that nonsense.
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,500 That's right. We saved the Pupa,
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,211 Yumyulack doesn't have to get harvested,
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,879 and nothing bad came from it.
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,173 A big win for the Solar Opposites!
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,008 Terry, ring the bell!
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,845 - [bell ringing] - [all cheering]
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:26,141 I can live! Chalupa, chalupa, chalupa!
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:28,810 [♪ ominous music playing]
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:38,445 Yes, I am one step closer to regaining control of the mission.
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:42,074 Soon enough. Soon enough.
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,910 [maniacal laughter]
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:50,582 Goddammit. How the fuck am I gonna get down there?
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,669 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,545 [mimicking laser fire]

Скриншоты

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