Охота за коричневым октябрём — Инопланетяне хотят вступить в элитный загородный клуб. Члены клуба не празднуют Хэллоуин, поэтому пришельцам придётся отказаться от этого праздника. Это обстоятельство устраивает Корво, который этот праздник не любит. Неожиданно он превращается в гигантскую хэллоуинскую тыкву. В прошлый раз Корво убил Великую тыкву, олицетворяющую дух Хэллоуина, и теперь духом этого праздника стал он сам. На Корво охотится дух Дня благодарения, который хочет сделать свой праздник таким же интересным, как и Хэллоуин.

Предыдущая серия S05 E11 Гигантская голова Юмьюлака

Охота за коричневым октябрём

The Solar Opposites Halloween Special Part 2: The Hunt for Brown October

Сезон: 05Серия: 12

Описание

Инопланетяне хотят вступить в элитный загородный клуб. Члены клуба не празднуют Хэллоуин, поэтому пришельцам придётся отказаться от этого праздника. Это обстоятельство устраивает Корво, который этот праздник не любит. Неожиданно он превращается в гигантскую хэллоуинскую тыкву. В прошлый раз Корво убил Великую тыкву, олицетворяющую дух Хэллоуина, и теперь духом этого праздника стал он сам. На Корво охотится дух Дня благодарения, который хочет сделать свой праздник таким же интересным, как и Хэллоуин.

Субтитры

00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:08,988 «ЛЮКСОВЫЕ ЕЛИ» ЭЛИТНАЯ НЕДВИЖИМОСТЬ
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:18,180 В «Люксовых елях» есть всё: спа с солёной водой, чай по 15 долларов и гольф обычного размера.
00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:20,250 Не знал, что они бывают без мельниц.
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:22,730 Это просто поле травы. У нас такое дома есть.
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:25,900 Костный мозг из крана и устричный бар?
00:00:25,910 --> 00:00:28,570 В «Люксовых Елях» хоть чего-то нет?
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:30,190 Разнообразия жанров.
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,490 Поэтому я возглавляю комитет сай-фай-разнообразия.
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:37,570 У нас куча богатых людей и всего парочка богатых пришельцев.
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,820 Ваша семья отлично здесь впишется.
00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:43,560 Стоп, я согласен быть коллекционным пришельцем только на концерте Phish.
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:47,460 О, всё вовсе не так. У нас уже есть несколько сай-фай членов.
00:00:47,470 --> 00:00:50,390 Они как раз обедают в люкс-лаунж-зоне.
00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:54,720 Даже не знаю, впишемся ли мы в место, где... Святые портянки!
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,980 Это же чужой из фильма «Чужой и генерал Чанг» из «Стар Трека 4»!
00:00:59,690 --> 00:01:01,290 Стоп, они ж вроде злодеи.
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,600 Только на экране.
00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,310 В жизни они партнёры-продюсеры.
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,260 Чанг, процитируй Шекспира на клингонском!
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:09,590 Он не любит, когда об этом просят.
00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:13,490 И где нужно подписать? Полагаю, нас ждёт церемония вступления?
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,990 Нужно будет ходить в трусах, много пить, возможно, будут пытки?
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,160 И я смогу носить свои теннисные юбки!
00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:21,660 Надоели жалобы со скалолазания.
00:01:21,670 --> 00:01:23,750 Ну и что, что вам всё видно? В этом и смысл.
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:27,620 Я был за на слове «эксклюзивный». Не то, что детский клуб Бургер Кинга.
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,289 И это просто идеальное место,
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:33,100 чтобы завести роман с инструктором по танцам по ту сторону закона.
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:37,340 Прежде всего, нужно найти время для встречи с советом, чтобы вас одобрили.
00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:40,550 Я считаю, вы супер, но они не многих сюда допускают.
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,720 Правда? Блин, тогда нам кабзда.
00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:45,140 Надо ответить. Это парень по ювелирке.
00:01:45,150 --> 00:01:49,440 Но у вас есть все шансы. Совету лишь нужно убедиться, что вы не стрёмные чудики.
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:51,049 Нет, мы нормальные.
00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,510 Эй, Корво, у тебя глаз выпал.
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,570 Что? Они решат, что это стрёмно!
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:57,650 Спрячь его, спрячь!
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,450 Ну вот, комиссия готова встретиться с вами завтра.
00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:02,620 Почему так? Завтра же Хэллоуин.
00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:04,870 Они не будут отмечать, как все остальные?
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:10,568 Здесь в «Люксовых Елях» не отмечают туполобые праздники наподобие Хэллоуина.
00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,070 А что, вы завтра не можете?
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:15,170 Нет, нет, мы ненавидим Хэллоуин. У нас и лбов-то почти нет.
00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:15,780 Мы придём.
00:02:15,790 --> 00:02:17,720 Хорошо. Я уверен, что вас возьмут.
00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:18,743 До завтра.
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:23,373 Солнечные противоположности вступают в загородный клуб!
00:02:23,380 --> 00:02:26,270 А мы сделаем вид, что ты сейчас не блеванул мышью?
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,779 Потому что ты не был рад,
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:32,550 когда из меня вышел хэллоуинский спецэпизод «Солнечных противоположностей»!
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,510 Планета Шлорп была просто идеальной тыквой,
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,678 пока не грохнулась клоунская башка.
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:42,120 Сотне взрослых особей и их репликантам выдали по пупе и отправили в космос,
00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:44,102 где была куча паутины и конфет.
00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:48,500 Мы рухнули на Землю в ведьмовской шляпе, планету, кишащую людьми.
00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:53,540 Да, да, это мой призрак. Я держу Пупу, меня зовут Корво. Это мой спецвыпуск.
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,321 Вот чёрт, я уронил Пупу.
00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:56,510 Как же нелепо.
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,670 Ненавижу Хэллоуин, тупой праздник.
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,010 Неужели мы снова это делаем? Гляньте на фиолетового кота.
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:05,320 СОЛНЕЧНЫЕ ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНОСТИ ХЭЛЛОУИНСКИЙ СПЕЦВЫПУСК 2
00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:11,060 Блин, так тупо, что они не отмечают Хэллоуин.
00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:13,770 Почему в «Люксовых Елях» не уважают ДР Дракулы?
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:15,360 За что они дальше возьмутся?
00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:17,830 О, а может тогда устроим спецвыпуск про школу?
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,610 Можно будет всем подсесть на наркоту и играть с оголёнными проводами.
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:22,820 Хэллоуин — отстой.
00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:25,490 В моём списке праздников он даже ниже Песаха.
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,540 А Dia de los Mentos наверху.
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:29,500 Про День свежести нужно помнить.
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,440 Украшения?
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:34,330 Что во фразе «Мы не празднуем Хэллоуин» вам было непонятно?
00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:36,880 Ты всё ещё считаешь его слишком жутким?
00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:40,010 Нет, я просто хочу стать членом «Люксовых Елей».
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:43,202 Хэллоуин на выход, роскошная элегантная жизнь — сюда.
00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:48,680 Корво, я говорю со всем уважением, но какого хрена у тебя с глазами?
00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:49,890 Не знаю, и мне срать.
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:54,560 Ну просто с этими глазами и летучей мышью ты выглядишь довольно жутко.
00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:56,270 Я скажу тебе, что не жутко.
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,176 Лазурная теннисная юбка от Ало-Йога.
00:03:58,330 --> 00:03:59,802 О, дай сюда!
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,450 Эй, с тобой всё нормально?
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:04,320 Да, займёмся насущным вопросом.
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,950 А ничего, что у тебя зубы выпали?
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,020 Просить улыбнуться — не по-феминистски.
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,450 Ты как стрёмная тыква.
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:12,231 Вообще нет! Я обыкновенный лысый пришелец.
00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:18,090 Привет, мои милашки.
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:22,920 Я — Первая ведьма, один из легендарных призраков Хэллоуина.
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:27,390 Я несу хэллоуинское веселье и хаос всем, кто его отмечает.
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,640 Ого, господи!
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:30,833 Привет. С Хэллоуином, Первая ведьма.
00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:35,700 Перестань. В этой семье верят в науку. И днём мы перестали отмечать Хэллоуин.
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:39,730 Перестали отмечать Хэллоуин?
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:45,710 О нет, моя милашка. Думаю, скоро ты поймёшь, что ты и есть Хэллоуин.
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:47,980 Хватит звать меня милашкой.
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:51,160 Я максимум симпатичный, а с Хэллоуином я вообще не связан.
00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:54,290 С тех пор, как ты убил Великую тыкву на прошлый Хэллоуин,
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:57,380 дух этого праздника вселился в тебя, моя милашка.
00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:59,380 Так, секундочку. Чего?!
00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:01,800 Корво — новая Великая тыква.
00:05:01,810 --> 00:05:05,460 Завали тыкворезку! Я новый член загородного клуба!
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:08,510 Ты не сможешь противиться великому духу.
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,666 Если попробуешь, он проявится вокруг тебя.
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,418 Это не остановить.
00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,921 Ведь ты — это Великая тыква!
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:19,382 Да? А тыква стала бы делать так?
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,490 Корво, нет. Хватить палить в волшебных существ прямо в гостиной.
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,410 Я только эльфа от ковра отскрёб.
00:05:26,420 --> 00:05:28,450 Твою же мать, она оживает!
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:31,620 Сай-фай штуки на магических существ не действуют.
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:32,740 Да, это же все знают.
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,730 Пупа, Джей-Кей Севенс!
00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:37,416 Если придумаете, как убить ведьмовёнка,
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:41,000 я куплю вам эту длинную липкую руку, которая вам нравится.
00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:42,920 Но сай-фай штуки не работают.
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:46,800 Я напоминаю, потому что вы не разговариваете, а забывать об этом нельзя.
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:48,077 Хорошо.
00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:52,060 Минуточку. Ты же сказал, что Великая тыква была в порядке.
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,730 Ну, я не помню, чтобы говорил именно так.
00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:58,270 А я помню. Тут происходит что-то странное, Корво.
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:02,520 Да, Хэллоуин — это тупо, а Великая тыква — огромная задница, но ты правда это говорил.
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:03,801 Я был в затруднении.
00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:07,141 Наш сосед Рендалл слишком увлёкся своим домом с привидениями,
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,360 он хотел убить меня и хранителя гробницы.
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,517 Мне пришлось порезать Тыкву ради спасения.
00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:15,140 Откуда я знал, что её силы передаются, как у Санта Клауса?
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:17,481 Какое-то дебильное смешение жанров, как по мне.
00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:19,210 Звучит как-то натянуто.
00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:23,460 Даю вам слово, когда вступим в клуб, сразу же разберёмся с этой тыквенной хренью.
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,281 Хорошо, но я хочу это запомнить,
00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:28,130 а не как со всем остальным, что мы обещаем запомнить.
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:30,890 На день станем богачами, а потом займёмся тыквой.
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,470 Ура, Хэллоуин!
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,832 Да мать твою, помогите зубы собрать.
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:37,100 ТЦ «ГРЕТХЕН-ДАРТ-МОЛЛОУИН»
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:38,800 «ГУЛЬЧЧИ»
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:41,672 Вам облегающий крой?
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,660 Если такой носят зазнайки из клуба.
00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:45,468 Почти все носят облегающий.
00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:48,820 О господи...
00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,973 Я, видимо, забыл сегодня принять Оземпик.
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:52,099 Перемерьте.
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,687 Il fantasma!
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:03,285 Корво, ведьма сказала, что, если будешь отрицать свою хэллоуинность, начнутся странности.
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,460 И вот теперь ты тыква, а Терри — привидение!
00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:06,710 Ты отлично выглядишь.
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,158 Конечно, отлично. Я ж красавчик, дорогуша.
00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:12,495 Но я не хочу быть призраком. На мне футболки не держатся.
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:16,749 И как скрыть на собеседовании то, что Терри — призрак?
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:22,980 Если мы не можем поразить их своими нарядами, можно сделать это с помощью дорогой тачки.
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,060 Да, отличная мысль.
00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:26,650 Я всегда сужу людей на цене их машины.
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:29,929 Дурацкий хвост сперматозоида, я как выпердыш Каспера.
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:36,830 Мои милашки!
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,145 Пока-пока.
00:07:49,190 --> 00:07:49,760 БУ-МВ! ОЖУТИТЕЛЬНЫЕ СКИДКИ!
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:54,050 Вас интересуют скидки, от которых волосы встают дыбом или трещат кости?
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:58,320 Хватит каламбуров, нам нужна самая загородно-клубная тачка!
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,710 Какого хрена?
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,350 Даже не начинай. Ведьма об этом предупреждала.
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,597 Простите, но если люди увидят таких чудаков в нашей машине,
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,570 весь бренд будет выглядеть стрёмно.
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:10,900 Такое уже случалось.
00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:12,221 С Tesla.
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:15,808 Может, нам хватит идеального этикета?
00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:19,200 Тут сказано, что надо начинать с краю и двигаться внутрь.
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:22,481 Этот нож ничем не поможет, если я захочу кого-то пырнуть.
00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:24,750 Слишком тупой. Ай, я порезался!
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,000 Бо-бо, ай!
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:28,654 Прекрати, цыц. Богатые люди заморачиваются по этой фигне.
00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:30,630 Надо сделать вид, что мы тоже.
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,010 Ладно, хорошо, сделаем.
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:33,301 Хорошо, я в вас верю.
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:36,890 Плюс, я подвёл к столу ток, так что отвечайте правильно.
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,956 Нельзя подвести ток к скатерти.
00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:42,360 Это моя пырятельная рука!
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:45,700 Корво, кажется, ты всё-таки победил хэллоуинскую жуть.
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:52,780 Мяу! Похоже, я теперь стал секси-кошечкой, в которых все наряжаются на Хэллоуин.
00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:56,000 Вот блин, так нечестно. Я хотел был секси-кошечкой.
00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,620 О нет, это Рэнч!
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:01,830 Ведите себя так, будто мы не превратились.
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,620 Приветик, Рэнч. Какой приятный сюрприз.
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,830 Ну всё, пока-пока.
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,520 Я лишь хотел убедиться, что мои любимые пришельцы готовы.
00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:13,550 Боже мой, вы все такие жуткие, хотя были просто сай-файными.
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,680 Тебе кажется.
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,202 Ничего мне не кажется.
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:20,640 Я вижу, что ты превращаешься в тыкву и заражаешь всех вокруг хэллоуинской магией.
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:23,375 Блин, а он хорош. Ну, хотя бы я всё ещё пришелец.
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:25,770 Ауф-тяф!
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:31,030 Я превратилась в оборотня и хочу сожрать все ваши конфеты!
00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,060 Что за хрень у вас тут происходит?
00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,081 Сложно объяснить, но ставлю миллион,
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:38,900 что до завтра этого хэлллоуинского хаоса не будет.
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:40,518 Да!
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,104 Если что, ставка была риторической.
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,670 В таком виде вас в «Люксовые ели» не примут. Совет — консерваторы.
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,050 Они курят в доме и не пристёгиваются.
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,830 Может, перенесём собеседование?
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,050 Они как раз смягчат свои взгляды после нового Аватара.
00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:01,180 Нет, завтра последний день приёма.
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:02,922 Но раз на кону моё доброе имя,
00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:06,440 я помогу вам найти способ избавиться от это хэллоуинности.
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,438 Мы на всё готовы.
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:09,570 И мы умеем скрывать, что мы мерзкие.
00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:15,020 Фу, ириски, гадость. Хотя конфеты есть конфеты.
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:16,136 Да блин.
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:17,610 Да блин.
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,410 Он не будет так делать при совете?
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:19,890 О нет.
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:20,890 - Да блин. - Нет.
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:25,810 Продолжать есть конфеты нет никакого смысла, но я всё равно продолжу.
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:30,000 Думаешь, покрасив меня в дорогой цвет, мы сможем обмануть богачей?
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:32,960 Именно этой краской выкрашены статуэтки премии Webby.
00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:34,420 Эксклюзивное дерьмо.
00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:36,500 Это же ей отравился Железный дровосек?
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,826 Да, пришлось брать на AliExpress.
00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:41,078 Да чтоб тебя!
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:46,458 Из хэллоуинской мохнатки в секси-красотку.
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:49,253 Вот блин.
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:54,170 Ну что? Не похож я на призрака? Секусуальненько?
00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:56,860 Нет, ты просто похож на более дешёвого призрака.
00:10:56,870 --> 00:10:58,470 А если в ультрафиолете?
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:00,820 На пятна не смотри.
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:03,660 Это только моча, дерьмо, кровь и суп.
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:04,685 И сперма.
00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:08,120 Соберись, ты не в сестринство собрался вступать.
00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:09,370 Повторяй за мной.
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:12,360 Корабли лавировали, лавировали да не вылавировали.
00:11:12,370 --> 00:11:16,630 Мяу, может хватит уже этой фигни и поедем в город тусить?
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:20,240 Корабли лавировали, лавировали да не вылавировали.
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,050 Подержим друг другу волосы, пока будем блевать?
00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,470 Корабли лавировали, лави...
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,390 Джеки переспала с Дэнисом?
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,270 Она знала, что мы переписываемся.
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,419 Помоги мне её уничтожить!
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,270 Это невозможно.
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,440 Слишком много хэллоуинского хаоса.
00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:38,820 И, если честно, то вы довольно мерзкие, и у вас какое-то клиническое СДВГ.
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,570 И я всё ещё похож на тыкву.
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,362 Но я хочу носить теннисную юбку,
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:45,330 пить содовую и сплетничать с другими жёнами богачей.
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,870 Это моя мечта, чтоб вас!
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,960 Можно попробовать одно средство, но оно довольно радикальное.
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,250 Я и сам когда-то обожал Хэллоуин.
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:55,920 На втором курсе Гарварда.
00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:59,630 Мне нравилось бухать, делать вид, что фарш — это мозги Франкенштейна,
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,680 и целый месяц смотреть по кругу «Восставшего из ада 2».
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,930 Но увлечение моей юности позорили семью.
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,020 И как тебе помогли?
00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:11,440 У них была книга тёмной магии из Старого Света.
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,810 Они создали эликсир, который исцелил меня.
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,060 Обожаю эликсиры.
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:17,549 Это же как Нэсти из мира магии.
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,551 А почему ты не сразу дал нам эликсир?
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:23,780 Я не хотел предлагать, ведь он вызывает ужасные перемены.
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:25,700 Вы даже сами себя не узнаете.
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:26,830 Так это нам и нужно.
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,700 Крутая тачка, это одно. Но ты уверен, что стоит лезть в тёмную магию?
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,830 Нам придётся.
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,750 Боже, я бы сейчас убил за Космополитен.
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:38,840 Не знаю, может, мы просто дикая семья, которой не место в «Люксовых Елях»?
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:42,970 Мы можем быть дикарями у себя дома, но при этом всё равно тусить с богачами.
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,110 Лучшее из двух миров!
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:44,840 Согласна.
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:48,470 И не только потому, что ты процитировал песню из «Ханны Монтаны».
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,310 Нам лишь нужен огромный котёл и источник огня.
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,600 Класс, повод достать нам многофункциональный котёл.
00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:57,360 А ты говорил, что второй раз не пригодится.
00:12:58,030 --> 00:12:58,480 КНИГА РЕЦЕПТОВ МЁРТВЫХ
00:12:58,490 --> 00:13:02,690 Эта книга — семейная реликвия, привезённая на Мейфлауэре.
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,110 Боже, воняет, как хрен дохлой собаки.
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,700 Уж я-то разбираюсь.
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,280 Она древняя и сделана из кожи.
00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:10,490 А пахнет она из-за потопа в подвале.
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:14,670 Нужно бросить в котёл всё, что вызывает хэллоуинский хаос.
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:18,590 Пустую миску для конфет, на дне которой сказано жертвовать в ЮНИСЕФ.
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,946 Костюм Наполеона Динамита.
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,760 Прощай, мой милый принц.
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:26,410 Мешок монет, который дала тебе старуха.
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:28,100 Жадная тварь.
00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:33,940 Пару яиц, туалетную бумагу и так далее!
00:13:35,050 --> 00:13:36,270 Эликсир готов.
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:40,120 Теперь искупайтесь в нём, чтобы смыть праздничный хаос.
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:44,280 О господи! Как же жжёт!
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,240 Так себя чувствует язык в каждом выпуске Hot Ones!
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:49,700 Он работает!
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,060 Получилось?
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:02,980 Да!
00:14:03,690 --> 00:14:05,010 Я же вроде кричал.
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,617 Я из котла не слышал.
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:08,470 Ну да. В общем, сработало.
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:17,230 Да! Ура!
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:33,936 Вы очень нас удивили.
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:37,410 Обычно совет находит пришельцев слишком забавными,
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,420 с этими вашими вечными лучами.
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:40,710 Нет, мы не такие.
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,460 Нам нравится быть богатыми и не высовываться.
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:46,340 Я вас понимаю. Но у меня ещё один вопрос.
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:49,770 Какой ваш любимый вид кубков?
00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:52,121 С камнями?
00:14:52,950 --> 00:14:56,180 Нас поразило ваше спокойное, размеренное,
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:58,480 почти бесхарактерное отношение.
00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:02,810 Поэтому ваша заявка в «Люксовые Ели» одобрена.
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,216 Ура.
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,593 Лучший момент в нашей жизни.
00:15:07,110 --> 00:15:10,860 Именно так устало и отвечают в «Люксовых Елях».
00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:13,830 Мы смогли, мы теперь члены, как и вы.
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,910 Покажете свой маленький рот во рту?
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,000 Будь у меня такой, я бы отсасывал всё, что движется.
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:20,250 Вы что это делаете?
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:22,920 Это зал только для элитный членов клуба.
00:15:22,930 --> 00:15:25,070 Мы прошли тест богачей, мы члены.
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:28,050 Вы идиоты, а не члены.
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,130 Но мы пожали руку старику.
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:35,220 Оглядитесь и скажите, носит ли здесь кто-то ещё такие ужасные пиджаки.
00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:36,520 Господи-боже.
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:38,140 Если это не членские пиджаки...
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:40,252 Вас наняли, как парковщиков.
00:15:44,050 --> 00:15:46,020 Ведёшь себя, как полная сучара.
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:47,676 Пришельцы должны объединяться.
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:50,780 Мы настоящие пришельцы, а не какие-то тупые растения.
00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:53,200 Поэтому и стали звёздами кино-франшиз.
00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:55,870 Подгони мой Rivian, одуванчик тупой.
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,040 Чтобы вы знали, мы хороший друзья Рэнча Уайта.
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:01,750 Когда он об этом узнает, вам конец.
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,880 Что за Рэнч Уайт?
00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:06,050 Самое очевидно выдуманное имя для богача, что я слышал.
00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:10,970 Первое впечатление было не очень,
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:14,260 но, может, завтра, когда припаркуем пару машин, будет повеселее.
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:16,390 Этот клуб — сборище богатых козлов,
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,970 а эти пришельцы — самые паршивые из всех.
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:20,770 Надо было это предвидеть.
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:24,060 Кому мы вообще нужны в месте под названием «Люксовые Ели»?
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,560 Мы же даже не хвойные.
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:28,230 И почему они делали вид, будто не знают Рэнча?
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:32,070 А самое худшее, что мы свалили всё хэллоуинское веселье в котёл.
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,240 А мы любим Хэллоуин.
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:34,686 Тридцать первое октября.
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:37,870 Мы ещё успеем забрать из котла свой хэллоуинский хаос.
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:42,620 Нет, вся наша хэллоуинская жижа из котла пропала!
00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:43,790 Не может быть.
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,210 Может, это не наш корабль с котлом?
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:47,281 Где твои ключи?
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:50,180 Пикни, чтобы проверить, точно ли это наш.
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,720 Рэнч, почему у тебя глаза светятся?
00:16:56,730 --> 00:16:59,520 Это ты выпил нашу хэллоуинскую жижу?
00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:01,833 Кудах-кудах, уроды.
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,830 Кудах, кудах!
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,210 Это он ржёт так?
00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:28,380 Да, но никто не кудахчет на Хэллоуин.
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:31,460 Ты налажал, Рэнч! Нас собеседовали как парковщиков!
00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:32,780 Я вас подставил!
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,050 Правда? Зачем?
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:37,720 Я вовсе не Рэнч Уайт, крутой тип из загородного клуба.
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:44,940 На самом деле, я праздничный дух Дня благодарения, Великий коричневый подливыч!
00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:46,520 Чего-чего?
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:47,690 Вы обо мне слышали.
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,070 Я как Великая тыква, но от Дня благодарения.
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,640 Ясно, видно, ты не самый популярный дух.
00:17:52,650 --> 00:18:00,330 Когда Великую тыкву зарезали, я затаился и составил план, как похитить её силы у Корво.
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:02,200 Но День благодарения другой.
00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:06,330 Именно поэтому я и должен навсегда уничтожить Хэллоуин!
00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:07,524 Нет!
00:18:08,010 --> 00:18:10,420 Эй, убери свои подливные руки от моего мужика!
00:18:10,430 --> 00:18:15,800 День благодарения всегда на втором плане, никто не ждёт его ради сухой индюшки.
00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:17,380 Оставь Хэллоуин в покое.
00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:19,050 У тебя есть свой праздник.
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:24,890 Скоро люди и вовсе забудут о Дне благодарения, как о плуговом понедельнике.
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:29,440 Может, Дню благодарения пора умереть. Люди могут ужинать вместе просто так.
00:18:29,450 --> 00:18:34,150 О, только не с моими удвоенными силами праздничного духа!
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,360 Я украду всё, что есть у Хэллоуина и применю это ко Дню благодарения.
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:42,950 Нездоровое количество алкоголя, бахчевые культуры,
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,910 дети, ходящие по домам и собирающие клюквенный соус!
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,080 Это будет просто замечательно!
00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:52,319 Нет, если мы надерём тебе зад!
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:56,340 Сай-файные устройства не действуют на духов.
00:18:56,350 --> 00:19:00,160 Победить меня можно было лишь с помощью хэллоуинского барахла,
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:05,600 а вы, тупицы, выбросили всё своё в котёл.
00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:09,850 Внизу ещё есть конфеты и украшения.
00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:12,450 Надерём булки этому жидкому уроду.
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:21,370 Давайте подумаем перед дракой, за что мы больше всего благодарны.
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:22,891 Нет, в жопу иди!
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:25,685 Получай!
00:19:26,050 --> 00:19:29,960 Блин, он превращает хэллоуинские штуки в барахло плугового понедельника!
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,359 Дня благодарения, придурок!
00:19:33,970 --> 00:19:36,720 Чёрт! Взять их, мои аппетитные воины!
00:19:41,810 --> 00:19:43,050 Все на задний двор!
00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:48,350 Вы можете бежать, но праздники всё равно вас догонят.
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,110 Какого хрена? Где все пластиковые пауки и надувные динозавры?
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:56,240 Я искал юбку вместо того, чтобы украшать двор!
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:01,096 Только не клюквенный соус! Нам капец!
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:05,740 Пупа, умоляю, скажи, что вы не смогли убить ведьмовёнка.
00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,660 О боже, они убили её!
00:20:07,670 --> 00:20:09,020 За что?!
00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:12,120 Оторвали ей голову! Вот срань!
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:14,526 Теперь Хэллоуину конец.
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:18,720 И Дом с привидениями в Диснейленде станет обычным домом.
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:25,510 В чём ты хочешь признаться?
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,260 Где вы взяли эти машинки?
00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:28,707 Ведьмовёнок!
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:33,650 Она подкупила вас машинками, а вы дали ей закуски и место, где жить?
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:36,060 Плохой Пупа и плохой робот!
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,440 Эй, это я переводить не буду.
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,178 Повезло вам, что нам нужен этот ведьмовёнок.
00:20:43,370 --> 00:20:45,240 Пора ужинать!
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:50,130 Ведьма, прости, что пытался убить тебя и за остальную фигню. Помоги нам спасти Хэллоуин!
00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:57,840 Ладно, признаю. Я был неправ насчёт Хэллоуина.
00:20:57,850 --> 00:20:59,340 Это чудесный праздник.
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:00,840 И для детей, и для взрослых.
00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:05,220 Костюмы, конфеты, яблоки — всё это очень здорово. И я обожаю сезонное пиво.
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:08,630 И можно заценить дом соседей, когда они раздают конфеты.
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,390 И Хэллоуин вовсе не жуткий.
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,542 Хэллоуин рулит!
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:23,470 Прыгай!
00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:27,490 Вы опоздали. Хэллоуин уже мёртв.
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:31,620 Отныне люди будут есть тыквы только в виде пирогов!
00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:37,380 Больно же!
00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:38,440 Но как?
00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:42,130 Хэллоуин лучший. Вечеринки Хайди Клум. Парные костюмы.
00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:45,050 Чувак в костюме пингвина, который блюёт на улице.
00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:47,220 Дом, где раздают хорошие конфеты.
00:21:47,230 --> 00:21:48,300 Фильмы ужасов!
00:21:48,310 --> 00:21:53,605 Никому не нужно сидеть за столом и слушать, как дядя-расист жалуется на пакистанцев,
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:57,650 потому что из-за них обанкротилась сеть кафе Boston Market!
00:22:06,330 --> 00:22:08,160 Ого, чуть не вляпались.
00:22:08,170 --> 00:22:11,040 Какой-то огрызок мне чуть горло не перерезал.
00:22:15,970 --> 00:22:18,710 Спасибо за то, что спас Хэллоуин, Корво.
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:25,170 Твоя искренняя любовь к этому празднику доказала, что ты достоин стать Великой тыквой.
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:26,470 Ура, Корво!
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,200 Ты это сделал!
00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:28,300 Молодец, Корво!
00:22:28,310 --> 00:22:29,470 Конфеты!
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,746 Вообще-то, я это всё не всерьёз говорил.
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,720 Я лишь повторял за Терри.
00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:35,680 Для меня Хэллоуин слишком жуткий.
00:22:35,690 --> 00:22:37,520 Даже ты меня до усрачки пугаешь.
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:41,580 Но тогда у Хэллоуина не будет новой Великой тыквы.
00:22:41,590 --> 00:22:43,440 Нет. Всё будет.
00:22:43,450 --> 00:22:45,885 Сама становись духом Хэллоуина.
00:22:56,590 --> 00:23:00,025 Ведьма, исполняющая роль Великой тыквы?
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,028 Вы знали, что такого раньше не было?
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,460 Нет. А откуда бы?
00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:05,840 Ох, Корво.
00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:10,753 Если бы я могла сказать той девочке, которой была до того, как съела летучую мышь и стала ведьмой,
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,350 что этот день настанет, знаешь, что бы она ответила?
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,915 То, что заканчивается на «моя милашка»?
00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:18,600 Вот именно, моя милашка!
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:21,400 У меня ещё есть время посеять хэллоуинский хаос.
00:23:21,410 --> 00:23:25,360 Но сперва, я хочу исполнить твоё хэллоуинское желание.
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:28,540 Проси конфеты Altoids Sours. Их больше не выпускают.
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,264 Исполнено!
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,450 Можете прекратить?
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:37,290 Ай! Моя нога!
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:41,010 Мы не можем припарковать машины, пока вы не остановитесь!
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:45,130 Теперь этот клуб огонь!
00:23:45,140 --> 00:23:47,322 Эй, крутое желание, Корво.
00:23:48,590 --> 00:23:50,300 Весёлого Хэллоуина, Терри.
00:23:50,310 --> 00:23:52,535 Ещё какого весёлого, мистер.
00:23:52,550 --> 00:23:57,580 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:13,680 Fancington Pines has it all,
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,101 a saltwater spa, $15 iced teas, and regular-sized golf.
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,228 I didn't know you could putt-putt without the windmill!
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,647 It's just short grass. We have that at home.
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:25,817 Bone marrow on tap and an oyster bar?
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,486 Is there anything fancy Fancington doesn't have?
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,113 Genre inclusivity.
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,408 That's why I'm the chair of the Sci-Fi Diversity Initiative.
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:37,495 We have so many rich humans and only a couple rich aliens.
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:39,789 Your family would be an excellent addition.
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,418 Hold up, the only time I'm a token alien is at a Phish concert, bruh.
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,336 Oh, you're not token at all.
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,380 We already have sci-fi members.
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,091 They're dining in the Luxe Lounge right now.
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,637 I don't know if we're going to fit in at a place like... Holy socks!
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,139 Oh! That's the alien from <i>Alien</i>
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,683 and General Chang from <i>Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.</i>
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,520 - Wait, aren't they bad guys? - Only on screen.
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,230 In real life, they're producing partners.
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,441 Hey, Chang! Quote some Klingon Shakespeare!
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,194 He doesn't like it when people ask that.
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:10,987 Where do we sign the membership agreement?
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,406 I assume there's some fraternity hazing we have to endure?
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,783 Walking around in our underwear,
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,910 drinking to excess, maybe some light torture?
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,079 I'll finally have a place to wear my tennis skirts!
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,581 I'm so sick of all the written complaints from the climbing gym.
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,666 So what if they're getting a peep? That's the point.
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,835 I was in the moment I heard it was exclusive,
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,545 not like the Burger King Kids Club.
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:28,797 This is the perfect place
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,965 for a whirlwind romance with a dance instructor
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,884 who's from the wrong side of the tracks.
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,302 Before any of that,
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,054 we need to find a time for you to meet with the board
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,263 to be evaluated.
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,475 I think you're great, but they don't let many new families in.
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,644 They don't? Oh, man, we're boned!
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,937 Ugh, I gotta take this.
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,063 It's my uncut gem guy.
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,773 You guys have a real chance.
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,359 They just wanna make sure you aren't freaky weirdos.
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,735 We're very normal.
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,572 Uh, Korv? Your eye just fell out!
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,491 What, ew! He's gonna think we're weird.
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,575 Hide it, hide it!
00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,370 Alright, I think I can get you in with the admissions board tomorrow.
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,539 Well, that can't be right. Tomorrow's Halloween!
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,791 Won't they be busy Monster Mashing like everyone else?
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,752 We don't celebrate a lowbrow nitwit holiday
00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,672 like Halloween here at Fancington Pines.
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,006 Will tomorrow be a problem?
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,258 No, no!
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,093 We hate Halloween, and we don't even have brows.
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,637 - We'll be there. - Great, I'll make sure you're confirmed!
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,848 See you tomorrow.
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,560 The Solar Opposites are joining a country club!
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,187 Sorry, are we just gonna ignore the fact that you barfed up a bat?
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,648 Because you got real upset when I barfed up
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,277 <i>The Solar Opposites Halloween Special 2!</i>
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,530 <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect Jack-O-Lantern</i>
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,740 <i>until the clown head hit.</i>
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,326 <i>A hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,036 <i>and shot into the... space</i>
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,247 <i>which was full of cobwebs and candy.</i>
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,499 <i>We crashed on Earth wearing a big witch hat,</i>
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,418 <i>stranding us on an already decorated planet.</i>
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,628 <i>Yes, that's right, I've been haunting this whole time.</i>
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,713 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,464 <i>My name's Korvo. This is my special.</i>
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,216 <i>Oh, bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,509 <i>Oh, this is ridiculous.</i>
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,595 <i>I hate Halloween. It's a horrible holiday.</i>
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,471 <i>Oh, I can't believe we're doing this again.</i>
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,931 <i>Look at that big purple cat!</i>
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,982 {\an8}Man, I'm so dang peeved that we aren't really doing Halloween.
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,693 {\an8}How can Fancington Pines not respect Dracula's birthday?
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,278 {\an8}God, what'll the libs ruin next?
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,198 {\an8}Oh, maybe we should do an afterschool special instead!
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,534 {\an8}We can all get addicted to drugs and play with a downed power line.
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,744 {\an8}Halloween sucks!
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,413 {\an8}It's below Passover in my top ten list of holidays.
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,457 {\an8}<i>Dia de los Mentos</i> is at the top!
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,417 {\an8}You gotta celebrate the Freshmaker!
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,085 {\an8}Decorations?
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:34,255 {\an8}What part of, "We aren't doing Halloween" do you two not understand?
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,799 {\an8}Wait, is this because you still think Halloween is too spooky?
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,928 {\an8}No, the only thing I'm scared of is not getting into Fancington Pines.
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,264 {\an8}Halloween is out, being classy and non-nitwitty is in.
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,766 {\an8}
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,684 {\an8}Korvo, I wanna be respectful here,
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,603 {\an8}but what the fuck is happening with your eyes?
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,812 {\an8}I don't know, who gives a shit?
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,899 {\an8}It's just, the eye thing combined with the bat barfing,
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,484 {\an8}you're seeming kinda spooky.
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,194 {\an8}I'll tell you what's not spooky.
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,238 {\an8}This Cerulean Alo Yoga tennis skirt.
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,322 {\an8}Oh, gimme!
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,531 {\an8}Ugh!
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,367 {\an8}Uh, you okay, buddy?
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,244 {\an8}Yes, let's focus on the task at hand.
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,870 {\an8}You know your teeth just fell out.
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,914 {\an8}It's not very feminist to ask people to smile.
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,374 {\an8}You look like a creepy pumpkin.
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793 {\an8}What, no, I don't! I'm just a regular hairless alien!
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,007 Hello, my pretties!
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,260 I am the First Witch,
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,845 one of the legendary spirits of Halloween.
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:27,308 I spread Halloween fun and chaos to all who celebrate.
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,559 Wow, oh, my God!
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,770 {\an8}Welcome! Happy Halloween, The First Witch.
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,939 {\an8}Piss off! We are a family of science,
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,108 {\an8}and we stopped celebrating Halloween earlier today.
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,654 Stopped celebrating Halloween?
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,739 {\an8}Oh, no, my pretty,
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,410 {\an8}I think you'll find that you are Halloween!
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,578 Stop calling me pretty.
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,414 At most, I'm boyishly handsome,
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,082 and I have nothing to do with Halloween.
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:54,210 Since you killed the Great Pumpkin last Halloween,
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,380 his holiday spirit has transferred to you, my pretty.
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,299 Uh, needle scratch, what?
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,718 Korvo is the new Great Pumpkin!
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:02,802 Shut your witch ass up.
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,887 I'm a great addition to a country club, is what I am.
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:08,433 Agh! There is no resisting the Halloween spirit.
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,227 If you try, it will manifest around you.
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,397 There's no stopping this.
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,066 You are the Great Pumpkin!
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,901 Oh, yeah? Would the Great Pumpkin do this?
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,407 Korvo, no! You gotta stop zapping holiday creatures in the living room.
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,326 I just got that elf out of the carpet.
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,369 Oh, bollocks, she's reforming!
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,539 You can't destroy a magical witch with sci-fi stuff, Korvo.
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,665 Yeah, everyone knows that.
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,042 Pupa, JK Sevens!
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,836 If you can find a way to kill this Witchlet,
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,129 I will buy each one of you
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,923 one of those sticky, slappy hand things you love so much.
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,842 Remember, sci-fi stuff won't work.
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,969 I'm only bringing it up again because neither of you really talk,
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,721 so I wanna make sure you don't forget it later.
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,723 Alright!
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,807 Wait a minute.
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,976 You told us that the Great Pumpkin was alive and well.
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,645 I... I don't recall saying those exact words.
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:58,191 I do. Something fishy is going on here, Korvo!
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,152 Yeah, I think Halloween is stupid and the Great Pumpkin is a bubble butt,
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,445 but you did say that!
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,030 I was in a tight spot.
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:07,158 <i>Our neighbor Randall, the one who was way too into his haunted house,</i>
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,285 <i>he was gonna kill me and the Crypt Keeper.</i>
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,329 <i>I had to carve up the Great Pumpkin to save us.</i>
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,081 <i>How was I supposed to know his powers</i>
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,124 <i>followed the same rules as</i> The Santa Clause?
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,543 That's some bullshit genre mixing, if you ask me.
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,128 It does seem like a stretch.
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,506 Look, I promise, after we get into the country club,
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,383 we'll deal with the Great Pumpkin stuff.
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,511 Okay, but I don't wanna forget like we do with everything else
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,054 we say we aren't gonna forget.
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,807 We have one day to get posh, and then we'll do the pumpkin shit.
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,103 Oh, dammit. Help me pick up my teeth.
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,941 Oh!
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,734 You want-a da slim fit?
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,528 Whatever your snootiest club members wear.
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,279 Most of them wear-a slim fit.
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:48,741 Oh, Go... Oh!
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,993 I, I must have forgotten to take my Ozempic!
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,413 Measure again.
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,624 <i>Il fantasma!</i>
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,545 Korvo, the Witch said spooky stuff would happen
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,046 if you resisted your Halloween-ness,
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,548 and now you're clearly a pumpkin
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,383 and Terry turned into a friggin' ghost!
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,634 I still think you look great.
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,137 Of course, I look great, honey. I'm a dime piece.
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,265 But I don't wanna be a ghost. Now I can't wear any cool shirts, see?
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,933 Ugh!
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,602 How are we going to hide Terry's ghost-ness at the interview?
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,230 If we can't impress them with fancy new outfits,
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,900 maybe we can distract them with fancy-ass cars.
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:23,985 Yes, great idea.
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,571 I always judge people by the price of their car.
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,989 Stupid sperm tail.
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,116 I look like Casper the Friendly Fart!
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,747 My pretties!
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,040 Bye-bye.
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,346 Can I interest you in any of our hair-raising deals
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,973 with bone-rattling low rates?
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,391 You can cut the Halloween crap.
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,019 Give us your fanciest, most country-club-iest, car-iest car.
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,732 - What the hell? - Don't even start!
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,275 That witch said this would happen.
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,860 I'm sorry, but if people saw someone
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,445 as weird as you in one of our vehicles,
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,489 it could make the entire brand seem dorky.
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,573 It's happened before.
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,283 Tesla.
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,870 Maybe all we need is perfect table manners.
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,955 {\an8}It says here, you're supposed to start on the outside
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,123 {\an8}and work your way in.
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,501 This blade ain't gonna do the trick if I need to fuck someone up.
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,670 It's way too dull. Ah, I cut myself!
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,922 Owie, ow!
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,006 Stop it, shut up!
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,217 Fancy people care about this stuff, so we have to.
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,551 I need you to make an effort.
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,928 Okay, fine, we will.
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,387 Good, I trust you.
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,972 Plus, I'm electrifying the table,
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,807 so try hard to get the answers right.
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,684 You can't electrify a tablecloth.
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,021 Ow, you zapped my stabbin' hand!
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,023 Hey, Korvo, I think you finally figured out
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,399 how to beat the Halloween spookiness.
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,446 Meow. Looks like now I'm one of those sexy cats
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,698 everyone's always dressing up as for Halloween.
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,116 Aw, man, no fair!
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,701 I wanna be a sexy cat.
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,539 Oh, no, it's Ranch!
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,832 Everyone act like we aren't turning into shit.
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,544 Hello there, Ranch. What a pleasant surprise.
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,753 'Kay, bye, now.
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,672 I just wanted to check on my favorite aliens
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,839 before their big day.
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,842 Oh, my God, you're all so spooky.
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,469 You all used to be sci-fi.
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,595 It's not what it looks like.
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,264 I know exactly what it looks like,
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,848 and it looks like you're turning into a pumpkin
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,560 and transforming those around you with some sort of Halloween magic.
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,644 Damn, he's good.
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,104 Hey, at least I'm still an alien.
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690 Aoofta!
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:30,736 Now I'm a werewolf, and I'm hungry for candy corn!
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,031 What the hell is going on around here?
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,117 It's hard to explain, but I'll bet you a billion dollars
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,452 we can undo this Halloween chaos before tomorrow.
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,872 Yeah!
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,250 Just to be clear, that was a rhetorical bet.
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,422 There's no chance you'll get into Fancington
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,506 looking like this.
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:51,591 We have a conservative board.
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,968 They all smoke indoors, and none of them wear seat belts.
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,137 Maybe we can push the interview, do it later in the year
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,638 where their right-wing views will be softened
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:58,973 by watching the <i>Avatar</i> movies.
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,100 No, tomorrow's the last day they're meeting people!
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,643 But since my name's on the line,
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:06,355 I'll help you find a way to hide all this disgusting Halloweenie-ness.
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,440 We'll do anything.
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,275 We're good at hiding how disgusting we are.
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,945 Ew, Mary Janes, barf.
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,363 Still, candy is candy.
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,781 Oh, goddamn it.
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,533 Mm, goddamn it.
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,327 He's not gonna do this in front of the board, right?
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,620 - Oh, no, no. - Goddamn it!
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,497 It doesn't make any sense for me to keep eating this candy,
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,207 but I'm gonna do it.
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,877 You really think this is gonna trick the rich folk,
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,920 covering up my orange and making me look expensive?
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,882 This is the exact shade of silver they use on the Webby Award statues.
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,383 Top-of-the-line shit.
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,385 Is that the same paint that poisoned the Tin Man?
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,721 Yeah, that's why we had to buy it through AliExpress.
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,015 Oh, dammit!
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,850 Ooh, la, la.
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,187 I went from Halloween tragic to sexy magic.
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,273 Oh, geez.
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,152 What do you think? Not looking like a ghost now, huh?
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,237 - Pretty hot, right? - Mm, it's not working.
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:56,781 You just look like an even cheaper ghost.
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,240 How about with the blacklight?
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,743 Don't worry about the stains.
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,579 They're just piss and shit and soup and blood.
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:04,664 And cum.
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,042 Focus, you're not a sorority girl, and this isn't rush week.
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,293 Now, repeat after me.
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:12,171 "The quarrelsome queen quaffed quickly and quietly."
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,049 Meow! Why don't we quit this silly nonsense
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,550 and go out on the town?
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,929 "The quarrelsome queen quaffed quickly and quietly!"
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,973 Wanna hold each other's hair when we throw up?
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,392 "The quarrelsome queen--"
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,310 Jackie hooked up with Dennis?
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,187 That bitch knows we've been texting.
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,064 You have to help me destroy her!
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,191 This is impossible.
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,360 You all have too much Halloween chaos energy.
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,737 Plus, to be honest, you're also kind of gross,
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,739 and I think you have clinical focus issues.
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,491 And I still look like a pumpkin.
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,993 But I wanna wear the tennis skirts and drink seltzer water
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,246 and be judgmental with the other pro shop wives.
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,789 It's my dream, dammit.
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,709 There's one last thing we could try,
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,877 but it's pretty drastic.
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,171 I used to dabble in Halloween myself.
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:55,840 My sophomore year at Harvard.
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,133 I loved the drinking,
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,552 the pretending that ground beef was Frankenstein's brains,
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,971 and watching <i>Hellbound: Hellraiser II</i> over and over again
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,597 for the entire month of October!
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,851 But my youthful dalliances brought great shame to my family.
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:07,935 How did they heal you?
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,603 They had a book from the Old World
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,355 full of witchcraft and dark magic.
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,733 They used it to create an elixir which straightened me out.
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,984 I love elixirs!
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,403 They're like the Snapples of the magic world.
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,071 Why didn't we do the elixir thing right off the bat?
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,532 Whoa! I didn't wanna suggest it.
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,701 The elixir causes a drastic change!
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,619 You won't recognize yourselves.
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:26,746 Yes, that's what we need!
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,497 Trying to buy a fancy car is one thing,
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,624 but are you sure you wanna mess with dark magic?
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:31,751 We have to.
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,670 God, I would kill for a cosmo right now.
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,922 I don't know, maybe we're just a chaotic family
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,758 and aren't cut out for Fancington Pines.
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,260 We can be our chaotic selves in the privacy of our own home
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,887 and hobnob with the elites at the club.
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,764 - Best of both worlds! - Okay.
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,392 And not just because you quoted the <i>Hannah Montana</i> theme song.
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,228 All we need is a big, black pot with a heat source.
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:54,523 Whoa, we get to use the multipurpose holiday cauldron again.
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,067 And you said we'd never use it more than twice.
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,071 This book is an old family heirloom
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,615 brought over on the <i>Mayflower.</i>
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,117 Goddamn, this smells like a dead dog's dick.
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,619 And I would know.
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,204 It's ancient and made from skin!
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,414 But the smell is from when my basement flooded last year.
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,125 We must cast that which makes Halloween chaotic
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,585 into the cauldron!
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:18,506 An empty candy bowl with a note telling you to donate to UNICEF!
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,925 A Napoleon Dynamite costume!
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,676 Farewell, sweet prince.
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:26,347 A sack of pennies handed out by an elderly woman!
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,015 Ugh, cheap bitch.
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:33,646 Some eggs, some toilet paper, and et cetera.
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,190 The elixir is set.
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,483 Oh, now you must bathe in it
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,819 to remove the holiday chaos from yourselves.
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,198 Oh, God! Oh, it burns!
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,159 This is what it must feel like to be a tongue on <i>Hot Ones!</i>
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,703 It's working!
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,425 - Did it work? - Yes!
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:04,927 Didn't you hear me screaming?
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,637 No, I was in a cauldron.
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,472 Right. Well, yes, it worked.
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,231 Yeah, woo-hoo!
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,956 You've surprised us today.
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,334 This board usually finds aliens to be too whimsical,
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,336 zapping things with rays and whatnot.
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:40,629 Oh, that's not us.
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,382 We just like to be rich and hold as still as possible.
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,260 I know it well. I just have one final question.
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,471 What is your favorite type of chalice?
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,640 Uh, jeweled.
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,103 We are most impressed with your sedate, compliant,
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,397 almost paper-white temperament.
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:02,735 Your application to Fancington Pines is accepted.
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,361 [unenthusiastically] Yay.
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,155 This is the high point of our lives.
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:09,158 That's the unmistakable bored affect
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,868 of a Fancington man.
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,746 We did it. We're members just like you.
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,831 Can I see that little mouth you got inside your mouth?
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,918 Oh, man, if I had one of those, I'd be fucking and sucking everything.
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,169 What do you think you're doing?
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,838 This is the private members-only dining room.
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,798 We just passed the rich guy test, we're members.
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,968 You fools aren't members!
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,054 But we shook an old man's hand.
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:34,683 Look around and tell me if anyone else is wearing one of those hideous blazers.
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,435 Oh, my God.
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,062 If these aren't members' blazers...
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,980 You just got hired as valets.
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,986 You're being a real bitch right now.
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,613 Us aliens have to stick together.
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,783 We're real aliens, not some low-rent plants.
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,118 That's why we're the stars of film franchises.
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,788 Fetch my Rivian, you dandelion bitch.
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,958 I'll have you know we are personal friends with Ranch White.
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,669 When he finds out about this, heads will roll!
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:02,795 Who's Ranch White?
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,756 That's the most made-up rich guy name I've ever heard.
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,011 As first impressions go, not great,
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:14,181 but I say we go back tomorrow, park a few cars, and see if it's fun.
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,308 That club is full of nothing but rich twunts,
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,894 and those aliens were the biggest shitbags of the bunch!
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,688 We should have seen this coming!
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,983 Why would a place called Fancington Pines ever want us?
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,484 We're not pines.
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,153 And why did they act like they didn't know who Ranch was?
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,614 The worst part is, we gave away all our fun Halloween chaos
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:31,991 to get into that stupid club.
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,158 We love Halloween.
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,660 It's October 31st.
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,787 We still have time to get our Halloween chaos
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,871 back from the cauldron.
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,373 Oh!
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,543 No, all our chaotic cauldron goo is gone!
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,711 That can't be right.
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,130 Did we go to the wrong alien spaceship with a cauldron in it?
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,297 Where, where are your keys?
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,883 Just do the beep to see if we... if this is the wrong one.
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,640 Ranch, why are your eyes glowing?
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,435 Did you drink the chaos goo?
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,603 Gobble, gobble, motherfuckers.
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:24,752 Gobble, gobble, gobble!
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,128 Is he laugh-gobbling?
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,297 Yeah, but nobody gobbles on Halloween.
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,007 You really messed up, Ranch!
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,383 That was an interview for valets!
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,053 - I set you up! - You did, why?
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,639 I'm not Ranch White, cool country club fuck boi.
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:41,560 I'm actually the holiday spirit of Thanksgiving,
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,646 the Grand Brown Gravy!
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,440 The what now?
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,608 You've heard of me.
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,985 I'm like the Great Pumpkin but for Thanksgiving,
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,112 Okay, must not be as popular of a spirit.
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,199 Oh, once the Great Pumpkin was slain,
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,533 I've been waiting,
00:17:56,533 --> 00:18:00,329 plotting to steal his powers from Korvo.
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,122 But Thanksgiving is nothing like Halloween!
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:06,251 Which is why I have to destroy Halloween forever!
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,920 No!
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,047 Hey, get your nasty-ass gravy off my man.
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,382 Thanksgiving is always an afterthought,
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,719 a punchline nobody looks forward to because of the dry turkey.
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,304 Just leave Halloween alone!
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:18,972 You already have a holiday!
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,934 One day, people won't remember Thanksgiving at all,
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,812 just like Plough Monday!
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,688 Maybe Thanksgiving deserves to die,
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,358 and people can just get together and have dinner.
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:34,154 Oh, not with my new double holiday spirit powers!
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:39,368 I will steal everything about Halloween and apply it to Thanksgiving!
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,871 An irresponsible amount of drinking, sexy gourds,
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:46,834 and kids going door to door to get slices of cranberry sauce!
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,003 It's going to be beautiful!
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,880 Not if we kick your ass first!
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,260 Sci-fi stuff doesn't work on holiday spirits.
00:18:56,260 --> 00:19:00,013 The only thing that could destroy me would be Halloween stuff,
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:05,602 and you dumbasses threw all yours in a cauldron!
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,773 We still have Halloween candy and decorations downstairs.
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,151 Let's use those to take this butt nugget down!
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:18,323 Let's take a moment before fighting
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,285 to reflect on what we're most thankful for.
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,036 No, fuck you!
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,539 Take that!
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,793 Oh, crap, he turned our Halloween stuff into Plough Monday shit.
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,296 It's Thanksgiving shit, you bastard!
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,425 Dammit, attack them, my food warriors.
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:42,973 Let's get to the backyard!
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:48,353 You can run, but the holidays always creep up!
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,481 What the hell? Where are all the plastic spiders
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,025 and inflatable pride dinosaurs?
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,944 I spent too much of my decorating time looking for tennis skirts!
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,198 Not the cranberry sauce!
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,532 We're so fucked!
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,118 Pupa, please, please tell me
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,786 you didn't manage to kill the Witchlet.
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,581 Oh, God, they killed her!
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:08,707 Why?
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,584 They ripped her head off!
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,920 It's so sick.
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,338 Halloween is over forever!
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,425 The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland will just be a regular mansion now.
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,432 What do you mean you have a confession?
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,184 Wait, where did you two get these things?
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,518 Witchlet!
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:33,565 You let her bribe you with Power Wheels then gave her snacks and a place to stay?
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,984 Bad Pupa and bad robot!
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,362 Whoa, I am not translating that.
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,864 You're lucky we need this Witchlet, or you'd be in big trouble.
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,160 It's dinnertime!
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,870 Please, little witch, forgive me for trying
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,080 to kill you and all the other stuff!
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,831 Please help us save Halloween!
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,916 Hmph.
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,756 Okay, I'll admit it. I was wrong about Halloween.
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,258 Halloween is a fabulous holiday.
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,759 It's fun for the kids and for adults.
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,844 Dressing up, begging for candy, bobbing for apples,
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:05,138 it's all a delight. I like the seasonal beer.
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,723 I like how you get to check out your neighbor's house
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,642 when they open the door for trick-or-treaters!
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,310 Halloween is not too spooky.
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,312 Halloween rules!
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,074 Hop on! - Oh!
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,411 You're too late! Halloween's dead.
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,623 From now on, pumpkins will only be eaten in pie!
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:37,296 Oh, that hurts!
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,631 - But how? - Halloween is the best.
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,050 Heidi Klum's annual party. Couples' costumes.
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,970 Watching someone dressed as a penguin vomit on the street.
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,139 The house that gives out full-size candy bars.
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,223 "The Monster Mash"!
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:51,268 Nobody has to sit at a table and listen to a racist uncle
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,687 talk about how they don't like the Pakistanis
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:57,357 that bought the Boston Market down on I-5!
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,076 Whew, that was a close one.
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:11,121 I almost got my throat cut by some bitch-ass giblets.
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,628 Thank you for saving Halloween, Korvo.
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,589 Your honest love for the holiday
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:25,093 proved that you truly deserve to be the Great Pumpkin.
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,386 - Yay, Korvo! - Woo-hoo!
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,221 - You did it! - Good job, Korvo!
00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:29,389 Candy!
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,267 Actually, all that stuff I said back there, I didn't mean it.
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:33,643 It was all stuff Terry has said.
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:35,604 Halloween is still too spooky for me.
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:37,439 I'm honestly scared shitless of you right now.
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:41,735 But then Halloween won't have a Great Pumpkin.
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,362 No, it does.
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,030 You should be the spirit of Halloween.
00:22:56,583 --> 00:23:00,670 A witch as the Great Pumpkin?
00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:02,881 Did you know this has never happened before?
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:04,383 No, why would we?
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,759 Oh, Korvo.
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,594 If I could go back and tell that little girl
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,971 that I used to be before I ate that bat and became a witch
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:13,350 that this would happen one day, you know what she would say?
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,519 Uh, something that ends with, "My pretty"?
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,605 Exactly, my pretty!
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:21,316 I still have time to spread Halloween chaos.
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:25,278 But first, I want to grant you a Halloween wish.
00:23:25,278 --> 00:23:28,073 Ask for some Altoids Sours. They don't make 'em anymore.
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,701 Granted.
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,372 Would you quit it?
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,207 Ow, my foot!
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:40,710 We can't park them if you don't stop driving.
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:43,046 <i>♪ Spooky, scary skeletons speak with such a screech ♪</i>
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:44,798 This club rules now!
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,967 Hey, hey, good wish, Korvo.
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:50,220 Happy Halloween, Terry.
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,222 Hell yes, it is, mister.
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:54,099 <i>♪ But I don't think we should ♪</i>
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:55,976 <i>♪ 'Cause spooky, scary skeletons ♪</i>
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:57,853 <i>♪ Shout startling, shrilly screams ♪</i>
00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,855 <i>♪ They'll sneak from their sarcophagus ♪</i>
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,523 <i>♪ And just won't let you be ♪</i>

00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:03,003 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,010 {\an8}[♪ pleasant music playing]
00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:13,680 Fancington Pines has it all,
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,101 a saltwater spa, $15 iced teas, and regular-sized golf.
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,228 I didn't know you could putt-putt without the windmill!
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,647 It's just short grass. We have that at home.
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:25,817 Bone marrow on tap and an oyster bar?
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,486 Is there anything fancy Fancington doesn't have?
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,113 Genre inclusivity.
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,408 That's why I'm the chair of the Sci-Fi Diversity Initiative.
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:37,495 We have so many rich humans and only a couple rich aliens.
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:39,789 Your family would be an excellent addition.
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,418 Hold up, the only time I'm a token alien is at a Phish concert, bruh.
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,336 Oh, you're not token at all.
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,380 We already have sci-fi members.
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,091 They're dining in the Luxe Lounge right now.
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,637 I don't know if we're going to fit in at a place like... Holy socks!
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,139 [Terry] Oh! That's the alien from <i>Alien</i>
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,683 and General Chang from <i>Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.</i>
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,018 [Solars exclaiming]
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,520 - Wait, aren't they bad guys? - Only on screen.
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,230 In real life, they're producing partners.
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,441 Hey, Chang! Quote some Klingon Shakespeare!
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,194 - [screams] - He doesn't like it when people ask that.
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:10,987 Where do we sign the membership agreement?
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,406 I assume there's some fraternity hazing we have to endure?
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,783 Walking around in our underwear,
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,910 drinking to excess, maybe some light torture?
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,079 I'll finally have a place to wear my tennis skirts!
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,581 I'm so sick of all the written complaints from the climbing gym.
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,666 So what if they're getting a peep? That's the point.
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,835 I was in the moment I heard it was exclusive,
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,545 not like the Burger King Kids Club.
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:28,797 This is the perfect place
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,965 for a whirlwind romance with a dance instructor
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,884 who's from the wrong side of the tracks.
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,302 Before any of that,
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,054 we need to find a time for you to meet with the board
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,263 to be evaluated.
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,475 I think you're great, but they don't let many new families in.
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,644 They don't? Oh, man, we're boned!
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,937 - [phone ringing] - Ugh, I gotta take this.
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,063 It's my uncut gem guy.
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,773 You guys have a real chance.
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,359 They just wanna make sure you aren't freaky weirdos.
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,735 We're very normal.
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,320 - [eyeball pops] - [all yelp]
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,572 Uh, Korv? Your eye just fell out!
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,491 What, ew! He's gonna think we're weird.
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,575 [Yumyulack/Jesse] Hide it, hide it!
00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,370 Alright, I think I can get you in with the admissions board tomorrow.
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,539 Well, that can't be right. Tomorrow's Halloween!
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,791 Won't they be busy Monster Mashing like everyone else?
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,752 [laughs] We don't celebrate a lowbrow nitwit holiday
00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,672 like Halloween here at Fancington Pines.
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,006 Will tomorrow be a problem?
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,258 No, no!
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,093 We hate Halloween, and we don't even have brows.
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,637 - We'll be there. - Great, I'll make sure you're confirmed!
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,848 - See you tomorrow. - [Korvo retching]
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,932 [Solars gag]
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,560 The Solar Opposites are joining a country club!
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,187 Sorry, are we just gonna ignore the fact that you barfed up a bat?
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,648 Because you got real upset when I barfed up
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,277 <i>The Solar Opposites Halloween Special 2!</i>
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,530 [Korvo] <i>Planet Shlorp was a perfect Jack-O-Lantern</i>
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,740 <i>until the clown head hit.</i>
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,326 <i>A hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa</i>
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,036 <i>and shot into the... space</i>
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,247 <i>which was full of cobwebs and candy.</i>
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,499 <i>We crashed on Earth wearing a big witch hat,</i>
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,418 <i>stranding us on an already decorated planet.</i>
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,628 <i>Yes, that's right, I've been haunting this whole time.</i>
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,713 <i>I'm the one holding the Pupa.</i>
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,464 <i>My name's Korvo. This is my special.</i>
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,216 <i>Oh, bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.</i>
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,509 <i>Oh, this is ridiculous.</i>
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,595 <i>I hate Halloween. It's a horrible holiday.</i>
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,471 <i>Oh, I can't believe we're doing this again.</i>
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,931 <i>Look at that big purple cat!</i>
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:05,143 {\an8}[♪ dramatic music playing]
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,982 {\an8}Man, I'm so dang peeved that we aren't really doing Halloween.
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,693 {\an8}How can Fancington Pines not respect Dracula's birthday?
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,278 {\an8}God, what'll the libs ruin next?
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,198 {\an8}Oh, maybe we should do an afterschool special instead!
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,534 {\an8}We can all get addicted to drugs and play with a downed power line.
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,744 {\an8}Halloween sucks!
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,413 {\an8}It's below Passover in my top ten list of holidays.
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,457 {\an8}<i>Dia de los Mentos</i> is at the top!
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,417 {\an8}You gotta celebrate the Freshmaker!
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,085 {\an8}Decorations?
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:34,255 {\an8}What part of, "We aren't doing Halloween" do you two not understand?
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,799 {\an8}Wait, is this because you still think Halloween is too spooky?
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,928 {\an8}No, the only thing I'm scared of is not getting into Fancington Pines.
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,264 {\an8}Halloween is out, being classy and non-nitwitty is in.
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,766 {\an8}- [eyeball pops] - [all yell]
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,684 {\an8}Korvo, I wanna be respectful here,
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,603 {\an8}but what the fuck is happening with your eyes?
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,812 {\an8}I don't know, who gives a shit?
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,899 {\an8}It's just, the eye thing combined with the bat barfing,
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,484 {\an8}you're seeming kinda spooky.
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,194 {\an8}I'll tell you what's not spooky.
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,238 {\an8}This Cerulean Alo Yoga tennis skirt.
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,322 {\an8}Oh, gimme!
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,531 {\an8}- [teeth clattering] - Ugh!
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,367 {\an8}Uh, you okay, buddy?
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,244 {\an8}Yes, let's focus on the task at hand.
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,870 {\an8}You know your teeth just fell out.
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,914 {\an8}It's not very feminist to ask people to smile.
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,374 {\an8}You look like a creepy pumpkin.
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,793 {\an8}What, no, I don't! I'm just a regular hairless alien!
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:12,961 [all gasp]
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,922 - [thunder crashes] - [witch cackling]
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,007 Hello, my pretties!
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,260 I am the First Witch,
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,845 one of the legendary spirits of Halloween.
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:27,308 I spread Halloween fun and chaos to all who celebrate.
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,559 Wow, oh, my God!
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,770 {\an8}Welcome! Happy Halloween, The First Witch.
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,939 {\an8}Piss off! We are a family of science,
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,108 {\an8}and we stopped celebrating Halloween earlier today.
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,734 [cackling]
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,654 Stopped celebrating Halloween?
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,739 {\an8}Oh, no, my pretty,
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,410 {\an8}I think you'll find that you are Halloween!
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,578 - [thunder crashes] - Stop calling me pretty.
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,414 At most, I'm boyishly handsome,
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,082 and I have nothing to do with Halloween.
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:54,210 Since you killed the Great Pumpkin last Halloween,
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,380 his holiday spirit has transferred to you, my pretty.
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,299 Uh, needle scratch, what?
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,718 Korvo is the new Great Pumpkin!
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:02,802 Shut your witch ass up.
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,887 I'm a great addition to a country club, is what I am.
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:08,433 Agh! There is no resisting the Halloween spirit.
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,227 If you try, it will manifest around you.
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,729 [thunder crashes]
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,397 There's no stopping this.
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,066 You are the Great Pumpkin!
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,901 Oh, yeah? Would the Great Pumpkin do this?
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,029 - [laser fires] - [First Witch screaming]
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,407 Korvo, no! You gotta stop zapping holiday creatures in the living room.
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,326 I just got that elf out of the carpet.
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,369 Oh, bollocks, she's reforming!
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,539 You can't destroy a magical witch with sci-fi stuff, Korvo.
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,665 Yeah, everyone knows that.
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,042 Pupa, JK Sevens!
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,836 If you can find a way to kill this Witchlet,
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,129 I will buy each one of you
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,923 one of those sticky, slappy hand things you love so much.
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,842 Remember, sci-fi stuff won't work.
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,969 I'm only bringing it up again because neither of you really talk,
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,721 so I wanna make sure you don't forget it later.
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,723 - Alright! - [JK beeping]
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,807 Wait a minute.
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,976 You told us that the Great Pumpkin was alive and well.
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,645 I... I don't recall saying those exact words.
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:58,191 I do. Something fishy is going on here, Korvo!
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,152 Yeah, I think Halloween is stupid and the Great Pumpkin is a bubble butt,
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,445 but you did say that!
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,030 I was in a tight spot.
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:07,158 <i>Our neighbor Randall, the one who was way too into his haunted house,</i>
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,285 <i>he was gonna kill me and the Crypt Keeper.</i>
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,329 <i>I had to carve up the Great Pumpkin to save us.</i>
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,081 <i>How was I supposed to know his powers</i>
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,124 <i>followed the same rules as</i> The Santa Clause?
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,543 That's some bullshit genre mixing, if you ask me.
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,128 It does seem like a stretch.
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,506 Look, I promise, after we get into the country club,
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,383 we'll deal with the Great Pumpkin stuff.
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,511 Okay, but I don't wanna forget like we do with everything else
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,054 we say we aren't gonna forget.
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,807 We have one day to get posh, and then we'll do the pumpkin shit.
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,392 - [all cheering] - [teeth clattering]
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,103 Oh, dammit. Help me pick up my teeth.
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,941 - [tailor humming] - Oh!
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,734 You want-a da slim fit?
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,528 Whatever your snootiest club members wear.
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,279 Most of them wear-a slim fit.
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,532 - [explosion booms] - [all gasp]
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:48,741 Oh, Go... Oh!
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,993 I, I must have forgotten to take my Ozempic!
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,413 - Measure again. - [explosion booms]
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,789 [tailor stammering]
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,624 <i>Il fantasma!</i>
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,209 [screaming]
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,545 Korvo, the Witch said spooky stuff would happen
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,046 if you resisted your Halloween-ness,
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,548 and now you're clearly a pumpkin
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,383 and Terry turned into a friggin' ghost!
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,634 I still think you look great.
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,137 Of course, I look great, honey. I'm a dime piece.
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,265 But I don't wanna be a ghost. Now I can't wear any cool shirts, see?
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,933 [grunting] Ugh!
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,602 How are we going to hide Terry's ghost-ness at the interview?
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,230 If we can't impress them with fancy new outfits,
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,900 maybe we can distract them with fancy-ass cars.
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:23,985 Yes, great idea.
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,571 I always judge people by the price of their car.
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,989 Stupid sperm tail.
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,116 I look like Casper the Friendly Fart!
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,494 [JK Sevens beeping]
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,747 My pretties!
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,040 Bye-bye.
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,168 [Witchlet squelching]
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,171 [Witchlet raving]
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:48,342 [Pupa grunts]
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,346 Can I interest you in any of our hair-raising deals
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,973 with bone-rattling low rates?
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,391 You can cut the Halloween crap.
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,019 Give us your fanciest, most country-club-iest, car-iest car.
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,103 - [explosions boom] - [Jesse/Terry gasp]
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,813 [explosions booming]
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,732 - What the hell? - Don't even start!
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,275 That witch said this would happen.
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,860 I'm sorry, but if people saw someone
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,445 as weird as you in one of our vehicles,
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,489 it could make the entire brand seem dorky.
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,573 It's happened before.
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,283 [whispers] Tesla.
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,870 [Korvo] Maybe all we need is perfect table manners.
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,955 {\an8}It says here, you're supposed to start on the outside
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,123 {\an8}and work your way in.
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,501 This blade ain't gonna do the trick if I need to fuck someone up.
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,670 It's way too dull. Ah, I cut myself!
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,922 Owie, ow!
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,006 Stop it, shut up!
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,217 Fancy people care about this stuff, so we have to.
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,551 I need you to make an effort.
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,928 Okay, fine, we will.
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,387 Good, I trust you.
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,972 Plus, I'm electrifying the table,
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,807 so try hard to get the answers right.
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,684 You can't electrify a tablecloth.
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,936 - [electricity crackling] - [Yumyulack yelping]
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,021 Ow, you zapped my stabbin' hand!
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,023 Hey, Korvo, I think you finally figured out
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,399 how to beat the Halloween spookiness.
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:46,484 - [explosion booming] - [all scream]
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,446 Meow. Looks like now I'm one of those sexy cats
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,698 everyone's always dressing up as for Halloween.
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,116 Aw, man, no fair!
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,701 I wanna be a sexy cat.
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,953 [doorbell rings]
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,120 [♪ suspenseful music playing]
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,539 Oh, no, it's Ranch!
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,832 Everyone act like we aren't turning into shit.
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,544 Hello there, Ranch. What a pleasant surprise.
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,753 'Kay, bye, now.
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,672 I just wanted to check on my favorite aliens
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,839 before their big day.
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,842 [gasps] Oh, my God, you're all so spooky.
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,469 You all used to be sci-fi.
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,595 It's not what it looks like.
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,264 I know exactly what it looks like,
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,848 and it looks like you're turning into a pumpkin
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,560 and transforming those around you with some sort of Halloween magic.
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,644 Damn, he's good.
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,104 Hey, at least I'm still an alien.
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,355 [explosion booms]
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690 Aoofta!
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:30,736 Now I'm a werewolf, and I'm hungry for candy corn!
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,821 [howling]
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,031 What the hell is going on around here?
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,117 It's hard to explain, but I'll bet you a billion dollars
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,452 we can undo this Halloween chaos before tomorrow.
00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,537 [explosion booms]
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,872 - Yeah! - [♪ upbeat spooky music playing]
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,250 Just to be clear, that was a rhetorical bet.
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,422 [Ranch] There's no chance you'll get into Fancington
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,506 looking like this.
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:51,591 We have a conservative board.
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,968 They all smoke indoors, and none of them wear seat belts.
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,137 Maybe we can push the interview, do it later in the year
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,638 where their right-wing views will be softened
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:58,973 by watching the <i>Avatar</i> movies.
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,100 No, tomorrow's the last day they're meeting people!
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,643 But since my name's on the line,
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:06,355 I'll help you find a way to hide all this disgusting Halloweenie-ness.
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,440 We'll do anything.
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,275 We're good at hiding how disgusting we are.
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,901 - [retches] - [candy rattling]
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,945 Ew, Mary Janes, barf.
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,363 Still, candy is candy.
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,781 Oh, goddamn it.
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,533 Mm, goddamn it.
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,327 He's not gonna do this in front of the board, right?
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,620 - Oh, no, no. - Goddamn it!
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,497 It doesn't make any sense for me to keep eating this candy,
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,207 but I'm gonna do it.
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,877 [Korvo] You really think this is gonna trick the rich folk,
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,920 covering up my orange and making me look expensive?
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,882 This is the exact shade of silver they use on the Webby Award statues.
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,383 Top-of-the-line shit.
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,385 Is that the same paint that poisoned the Tin Man?
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,721 Yeah, that's why we had to buy it through AliExpress.
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,015 - [explosion booms] - Oh, dammit!
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,850 - [razor buzzing] - Ooh, la, la.
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,187 I went from Halloween tragic to sexy magic.
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,313 - [explosion booms] - [Jesse screams]
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,273 - [thud] - Oh, geez.
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,152 [Terry] What do you think? Not looking like a ghost now, huh?
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,237 - Pretty hot, right? - Mm, it's not working.
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:56,781 You just look like an even cheaper ghost.
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,240 [Terry] How about with the blacklight?
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,743 Don't worry about the stains.
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,579 They're just piss and shit and soup and blood.
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:04,664 And cum.
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,042 Focus, you're not a sorority girl, and this isn't rush week.
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,293 Now, repeat after me.
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:12,171 "The quarrelsome queen quaffed quickly and quietly."
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,049 Meow! Why don't we quit this silly nonsense
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,550 and go out on the town?
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,929 "The quarrelsome queen quaffed quickly and quietly!"
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,973 [purrs] Wanna hold each other's hair when we throw up?
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,392 "The quarrelsome queen--"
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,310 [gasps] Jackie hooked up with Dennis?
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,187 That bitch knows we've been texting.
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,064 You have to help me destroy her!
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,191 [groans] This is impossible.
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,360 You all have too much Halloween chaos energy.
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,737 Plus, to be honest, you're also kind of gross,
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,739 and I think you have clinical focus issues.
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,491 And I still look like a pumpkin.
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,993 But I wanna wear the tennis skirts and drink seltzer water
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:45,246 and be judgmental with the other pro shop wives.
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,789 It's my dream, dammit.
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,709 There's one last thing we could try,
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,877 but it's pretty drastic.
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,171 I used to dabble in Halloween myself.
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:55,840 My sophomore year at Harvard.
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,133 I loved the drinking,
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,552 the pretending that ground beef was Frankenstein's brains,
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,971 and watching <i>Hellbound: Hellraiser II</i> over and over again
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,597 for the entire month of October!
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,851 But my youthful dalliances brought great shame to my family.
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:07,935 How did they heal you?
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,603 They had a book from the Old World
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,355 full of witchcraft and dark magic.
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,733 They used it to create an elixir which straightened me out.
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,984 I love elixirs!
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,403 They're like the Snapples of the magic world.
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,071 Why didn't we do the elixir thing right off the bat?
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,532 - [bat screeches] - Whoa! I didn't wanna suggest it.
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,701 The elixir causes a drastic change!
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,619 You won't recognize yourselves.
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:26,746 Yes, that's what we need!
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,497 Trying to buy a fancy car is one thing,
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,624 but are you sure you wanna mess with dark magic?
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:31,751 We have to.
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,670 God, I would kill for a cosmo right now.
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,922 I don't know, maybe we're just a chaotic family
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,758 and aren't cut out for Fancington Pines.
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,260 We can be our chaotic selves in the privacy of our own home
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,887 and hobnob with the elites at the club.
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,764 - Best of both worlds! - Okay.
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,392 And not just because you quoted the <i>Hannah Montana</i> theme song.
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,228 All we need is a big, black pot with a heat source.
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:54,523 Whoa, we get to use the multipurpose holiday cauldron again.
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,067 And you said we'd never use it more than twice.
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,402 [thunder crashes]
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,071 [Ranch] This book is an old family heirloom
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,615 brought over on the <i>Mayflower.</i>
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,117 Goddamn, this smells like a dead dog's dick.
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,619 And I would know. [laughs]
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,204 It's ancient and made from skin!
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,414 But the smell is from when my basement flooded last year.
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,125 We must cast that which makes Halloween chaotic
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,585 into the cauldron!
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:18,506 An empty candy bowl with a note telling you to donate to UNICEF!
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,925 A Napoleon Dynamite costume!
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,676 Farewell, sweet prince.
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:26,347 A sack of pennies handed out by an elderly woman!
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,015 Ugh, cheap bitch.
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:33,646 Some eggs, some toilet paper, and et cetera.
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,897 [potion bubbling]
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,190 The elixir is set.
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,483 Oh, now you must bathe in it
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,819 to remove the holiday chaos from yourselves.
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,279 [Solars screaming]
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,198 Oh, God! Oh, it burns!
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,159 This is what it must feel like to be a tongue on <i>Hot Ones!</i>
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,703 It's working!
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,455 - [♪ sinister music playing] - [potion bubbling]
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,087 [explosion booms]
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,506 [pedestal whirring]
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,425 - Did it work? - Yes!
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:04,927 Didn't you hear me screaming?
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,637 No, I was in a cauldron.
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,472 Right. Well, yes, it worked.
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,974 [JK Sevens beeping]
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,101 [train rumbling]
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,061 [Witchlet squelches]
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,231 - Yeah, woo-hoo! - [happy beeping]
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,149 [♪ sinister music playing]
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:21,735 [Witchlet cackling]
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,070 [train rumbling]
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:27,533 [Pupa sighs]
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,868 [Witchlet squelches]
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,956 [board member] You've surprised us today.
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,334 This board usually finds aliens to be too whimsical,
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,336 zapping things with rays and whatnot.
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:40,629 Oh, that's not us.
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,382 We just like to be rich and hold as still as possible.
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,260 I know it well. I just have one final question.
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,471 What is your favorite type of chalice?
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,640 Uh, jeweled.
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,058 [board murmuring]
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,103 We are most impressed with your sedate, compliant,
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,397 almost paper-white temperament.
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:02,735 Your application to Fancington Pines is accepted.
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,361 [Solars] [unenthusiastically] Yay.
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,155 This is the high point of our lives.
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:09,158 [laughs] That's the unmistakable bored affect
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,868 of a Fancington man.
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,746 We did it. We're members just like you.
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,831 Can I see that little mouth you got inside your mouth?
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,918 Oh, man, if I had one of those, I'd be fucking and sucking everything.
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,169 [General Chang] What do you think you're doing?
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,838 This is the private members-only dining room.
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,798 We just passed the rich guy test, we're members.
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:26,300 [both laughing]
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,968 You fools aren't members!
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,054 But we shook an old man's hand.
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:34,683 Look around and tell me if anyone else is wearing one of those hideous blazers.
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,435 [Korvo] Oh, my God.
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,062 If these aren't members' blazers...
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,980 You just got hired as valets.
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,107 [both laughing]
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,817 [club members laughing]
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,986 You're being a real bitch right now.
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,613 Us aliens have to stick together.
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,783 We're real aliens, not some low-rent plants.
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,118 That's why we're the stars of film franchises.
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,788 Fetch my Rivian, you dandelion bitch.
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,958 I'll have you know we are personal friends with Ranch White.
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,669 When he finds out about this, heads will roll!
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:02,795 Who's Ranch White?
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,756 That's the most made-up rich guy name I've ever heard.
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,592 [club members laughing]
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,011 [Terry] As first impressions go, not great,
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:14,181 but I say we go back tomorrow, park a few cars, and see if it's fun.
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,308 That club is full of nothing but rich twunts,
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,894 and those aliens were the biggest shitbags of the bunch!
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,688 We should have seen this coming!
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,983 Why would a place called Fancington Pines ever want us?
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,484 We're not pines.
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,153 And why did they act like they didn't know who Ranch was?
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,614 The worst part is, we gave away all our fun Halloween chaos
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:31,991 to get into that stupid club.
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,158 We love Halloween.
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,660 It's October 31st.
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,787 We still have time to get our Halloween chaos
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,871 back from the cauldron.
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,373 - Oh! - [♪ sinister music playing]
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,543 No, all our chaotic cauldron goo is gone!
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,711 That can't be right.
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,130 Did we go to the wrong alien spaceship with a cauldron in it?
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,297 Where, where are your keys?
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,883 Just do the beep to see if we... if this is the wrong one.
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,802 [sinister laughter]
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,640 Ranch, why are your eyes glowing?
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,435 Did you drink the chaos goo?
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,603 Gobble, gobble, motherfuckers.
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:02,896 [all scream]
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,570 [arm whirring]
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,864 [gasoline sloshing]
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,200 [explosion booms]
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,414 - [Pupa grunts] - [Witchlet screeching]
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:24,752 - [thunder crashing] - Gobble, gobble, gobble!
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,128 Is he laugh-gobbling?
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,297 Yeah, but nobody gobbles on Halloween.
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,007 You really messed up, Ranch!
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,383 That was an interview for valets!
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,053 - I set you up! - You did, why?
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,639 I'm not Ranch White, cool country club fuck boi.
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:41,560 I'm actually the holiday spirit of Thanksgiving,
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,646 the Grand Brown Gravy!
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,440 - [Solars gasp] - The what now?
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,608 You've heard of me.
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,985 I'm like the Great Pumpkin but for Thanksgiving,
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,112 Okay, must not be as popular of a spirit.
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,199 Oh, once the Great Pumpkin was slain,
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,533 I've been waiting,
00:17:56,533 --> 00:18:00,329 plotting to steal his powers from Korvo.
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,122 But Thanksgiving is nothing like Halloween!
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:06,251 Which is why I have to destroy Halloween forever!
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,920 - No! - [gravy sloshing]
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,047 Hey, get your nasty-ass gravy off my man.
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,382 Thanksgiving is always an afterthought,
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,719 a punchline nobody looks forward to because of the dry turkey.
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,304 [Yumyulack] Just leave Halloween alone!
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:18,972 You already have a holiday!
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,934 One day, people won't remember Thanksgiving at all,
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,812 just like Plough Monday!
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,688 Maybe Thanksgiving deserves to die,
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,358 and people can just get together and have dinner.
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:34,154 Oh, not with my new double holiday spirit powers!
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:39,368 I will steal everything about Halloween and apply it to Thanksgiving!
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,871 An irresponsible amount of drinking, sexy gourds,
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:46,834 and kids going door to door to get slices of cranberry sauce!
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,003 It's going to be beautiful!
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,880 Not if we kick your ass first!
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:52,965 [laser fires]
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,260 Sci-fi stuff doesn't work on holiday spirits.
00:18:56,260 --> 00:19:00,013 The only thing that could destroy me would be Halloween stuff,
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:05,602 and you dumbasses threw all yours in a cauldron!
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,396 [sinister laughter]
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,773 We still have Halloween candy and decorations downstairs.
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,151 Let's use those to take this butt nugget down!
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,028 [Grand Brown Gravy roaring]
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:18,323 - [Solars panting] - Let's take a moment before fighting
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,285 to reflect on what we're most thankful for.
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,036 - No, fuck you! - [Yumyulack grunts]
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,539 Take that!
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,793 Oh, crap, he turned our Halloween stuff into Plough Monday shit.
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,296 It's Thanksgiving shit, you bastard!
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,881 [groans]
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,425 Dammit, attack them, my food warriors.
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,801 [Jesse screaming]
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,596 - [Yumyulack grunting] - [cork popping]
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:42,973 [Korvo] Let's get to the backyard!
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:48,353 You can run, but the holidays always creep up!
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,481 What the hell? Where are all the plastic spiders
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,025 and inflatable pride dinosaurs?
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,944 I spent too much of my decorating time looking for tennis skirts!
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,613 - [thud] - [both scream]
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,198 Not the cranberry sauce!
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,532 We're so fucked!
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,118 - [horn toots] - Pupa, please, please tell me
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,786 you didn't manage to kill the Witchlet.
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,581 - [sad beeping] - Oh, God, they killed her!
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:08,707 Why?
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,584 - [JK Sevens beeps] - They ripped her head off!
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,920 It's so sick. [retches]
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,338 Halloween is over forever!
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,425 The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland will just be a regular mansion now.
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:19,885 [Solars sobbing]
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,470 [glass cracks]
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,639 [beeps]
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,432 What do you mean you have a confession?
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,184 Wait, where did you two get these things?
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,518 Witchlet!
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:33,565 You let her bribe you with Power Wheels then gave her snacks and a place to stay?
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,984 - Bad Pupa and bad robot! - [JK Sevens beeping]
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,362 Whoa, I am not translating that.
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,864 You're lucky we need this Witchlet, or you'd be in big trouble.
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:42,032 [explosion booms]
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,283 [Grand Brown Gravy laughing]
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,160 It's dinnertime!
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,870 Please, little witch, forgive me for trying
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,080 to kill you and all the other stuff!
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,831 Please help us save Halloween!
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,916 [Witchlet] Hmph.
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,417 - [Grand Brown Gravy laughing] - [monsters growling]
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:55,337 [fists thudding]
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,756 Okay, I'll admit it. I was wrong about Halloween.
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,258 Halloween is a fabulous holiday.
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,759 It's fun for the kids and for adults.
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,844 Dressing up, begging for candy, bobbing for apples,
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:05,138 it's all a delight. I like the seasonal beer.
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,723 I like how you get to check out your neighbor's house
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,642 when they open the door for trick-or-treaters!
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,310 Halloween is not too spooky.
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,312 Halloween rules!
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:15,148 [First Witch cackling]
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,193 [Grand Brown Gravy roaring]
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,903 [♪ sinister music playing]
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,155 [explosion booms]
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,074 - [First Witch] Hop on! - Oh! [yelps]
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,411 You're too late! Halloween's dead.
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,623 From now on, pumpkins will only be eaten in pie!
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,625 [Grand Brown Gravy laughing]
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:37,296 - [explosion booming] - Oh, that hurts!
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,631 - But how? - Halloween is the best.
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,050 Heidi Klum's annual party. Couples' costumes.
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,970 Watching someone dressed as a penguin vomit on the street.
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,139 The house that gives out full-size candy bars.
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,223 "The Monster Mash"!
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:51,268 Nobody has to sit at a table and listen to a racist uncle
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,687 talk about how they don't like the Pakistanis
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:57,357 that bought the Boston Market down on I-5!
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,738 - [explosion booms] - [gravy splashing]
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:06,241 [explosions popping]
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,076 Whew, that was a close one.
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:11,121 I almost got my throat cut by some bitch-ass giblets.
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:12,956 [Korvo groans]
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,628 Thank you for saving Halloween, Korvo.
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,589 Your honest love for the holiday
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:25,093 proved that you truly deserve to be the Great Pumpkin.
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,386 - Yay, Korvo! - Woo-hoo!
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,221 - You did it! - Good job, Korvo!
00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:29,389 Candy!
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,267 Actually, all that stuff I said back there, I didn't mean it.
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:33,643 It was all stuff Terry has said.
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:35,604 Halloween is still too spooky for me.
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:37,439 I'm honestly scared shitless of you right now.
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:41,735 But then Halloween won't have a Great Pumpkin.
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,362 No, it does.
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,030 You should be the spirit of Halloween.
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,114 [gasps]
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:50,285 [magic humming]
00:22:56,583 --> 00:23:00,670 A witch as the Great Pumpkin? [laughs]
00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:02,881 Did you know this has never happened before?
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:04,383 No, why would we?
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,759 Oh, Korvo.
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,594 If I could go back and tell that little girl
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,971 that I used to be before I ate that bat and became a witch
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:13,350 that this would happen one day, you know what she would say?
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,519 Uh, something that ends with, "My pretty"?
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,605 [laughs] Exactly, my pretty!
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:21,316 I still have time to spread Halloween chaos.
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:25,278 But first, I want to grant you a Halloween wish.
00:23:25,278 --> 00:23:28,073 Ask for some Altoids Sours. They don't make 'em anymore.
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:29,908 [Korvo whispering]
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,701 - Granted. - [explosion booms]
00:23:31,701 --> 00:23:33,870 - [horn tooting] [Pupa laughing]
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,372 Would you quit it?
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,207 Ow, my foot!
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:40,710 We can't park them if you don't stop driving.
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:43,046 <i>♪ Spooky, scary skeletons speak with such a screech ♪</i>
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:44,798 This club rules now!
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,967 Hey, hey, good wish, Korvo.
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:50,220 - [lips smacking] - Happy Halloween, Terry.
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,222 Hell yes, it is, mister.
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:54,099 <i>♪ But I don't think we should ♪</i>
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:55,976 <i>♪ 'Cause spooky, scary skeletons ♪</i>
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:57,853 <i>♪ Shout startling, shrilly screams ♪</i>
00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,855 <i>♪ They'll sneak from their sarcophagus ♪</i>
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,523 <i>♪ And just won't let you be ♪</i>
00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:04,568 [♪ dramatic theme playing]
00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:07,737 [wolf howling]
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,077 [sinister laughter]
00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:21,418 [electronic warbling]
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,174 [♪ dramatic theme continues]
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,512 [bats squeak]
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,609 [owl hoots]
00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:47,944 [mimicking laser fire]

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